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Spam Is 30 Years Old

Posted by kdawson on from the happy-birthday-now-die-already dept.

holy_calamity writes "New Scientist commemorates spam's 30th anniversary, a week from today. The first spam message — archived here — was sent to 393 users of ARPANET on May 2, 1978 by someone from computing pioneers DEC. They had to type in all the addresses by hand first."

27 of 148 comments (clear)

  1. And in 30 years... by kevman42 · · Score: 5, Funny

    This is the first time I've purposely clicked a link to view spam.

    1. Re:And in 30 years... by ducatier · · Score: 5, Funny

      "on 2 may 78 digital equipment corporation (dec) sent out an arpanet message advertising their new computer systems. this was a flagrant violation of the use of arpanet as the network is to be used for official u.s. government business only. appropriate action is being taken to preclude its occurrence again."

      whew, glad they took action, such mis-uses could have gotten out of hand.

    2. Re:And in 30 years... by SuiteSisterMary · · Score: 2, Funny

      Sounds like the plot for a decent little time travel story. Guy travels thirty years back, and writes an innocuous reply to an advertisement for a DEC server. "Hey, everybody, it suddenly occurs to me that there are absolutely NO mechanisms in SMTP to authenticate sender, recipient, blah blah blah. Sure, it's not a problem now, but hey, who knows where this ARPANET thing's going to go...."

      --
      Vintage computer games and RPG books available. Email me if you're interested.
  2. Wasted chance by ccguy · · Score: 4, Funny

    A 2020 WILL BE THERE FOR YOU TO VIEW
    Apparently the original recipients(tm) had a chance to meet the very first spammer and have physical access to him and his product and wasted the chance.
    1. Re:Wasted chance by DrWhizBang · · Score: 3, Funny

      ... her, him, and also this guy

      No wonder they are looking to set up an online dating service :-D

      --
      Schrodinger's cat is either dead or really pissed off...
  3. Fail! by aliquis · · Score: 5, Funny

    "APPROPRIATE ACTION IS BEING TAKEN TO PRECLUDE ITS OCCURRENCE AGAIN."

    So, uhm, they failed?

    ok i won't write in caps but it's a quote damnit.
    ok i won't write in caps but it's a quote damnit.
    ok i won't write in caps but it's a quote damnit.
    ok i won't write in caps but it's a quote damnit.
    ok i won't write in caps but it's a quote damnit.

  4. That was vaguely disappointing... by bluemonq · · Score: 4, Funny

    I half-expected to see a message more along the lines of, "Xp4nd y0ur R4m, d3creeese ur l4tency".

  5. Happy birthday Spam! by ohzero · · Score: 5, Funny

    Thanks for making people focus less on sending me physical junk mail. The development of a spam filter which automatically rubs it in feces and sends it back to the originator wasn't going so well. The robots were the hard part. Stupid robots.

    --
    -- http://www.criticalassets.com
  6. It's a shame by zappepcs · · Score: 3, Funny

    that we can't get today's spammers to manually type in every address too. That might cut down on spam a bit.

    --
    Support NYCountryLawyer RIAA vs People
    1. Re:It's a shame by gstoddart · · Score: 4, Funny

      that we can't get today's spammers to manually type in every address too. That might cut down on spam a bit.

      Combine that with cutting off the hands of spammers, and I think you'd be onto something. :-P

      Cheers
      --
      Lost at C:>. Found at C.
  7. Re:Stallman --- by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny
    Yeah, I got a kick out of #4:

    4) Would a dating service for people on the net be "frowned upon" by DCA? I hope not. But even if it is, don't let that stop you from notifying me via net mail if you start one.
  8. Mr. Watson, come here, I want to sell you a DEC by CopaceticOpus · · Score: 2, Funny

    This is spam's "Mr. Watson, come here, I want to see you." It's so special, it brings a tear to my eye.

    They forgot to include a remove link though. WTF?

    1. Re:Mr. Watson, come here, I want to sell you a DEC by antifoidulus · · Score: 4, Funny

      Though in the case of Spam, I'm surprised it wasn't "Mr. Watson, come here, did you kn0w that you can get h0m3 r3f!n@nCINg for less then 6% APR, no questions asked?"

      Or, "Mr. Watson, come here, do you want a G1@nt C0ck like me, if so, buy this pill."

      Or, "Mr. Watson, come here, you great uncle from Nigeria just died and you stand to inherit a fortune!"

      --
      Monstar L
  9. Re:Stallman --- by prgrmr · · Score: 2, Funny

    4) Would a dating service for people on the net be "frowned upon" by DCA? I hope not. But even if it is, don't let that stop you from notifying me via net mail if you start one.

    Does this mean that we have RMS to thank for match.com and the like?

  10. Re:Stallman --- by gowen · · Score: 3, Funny

    I prefer the bit where he tries to get himself subscribed into the first internet dating service. MMMMMM classy.

    --
    Athletic Scholarships to universities make as much sense as academic scholarships to sports teams.
  11. SPAM! by prxp · · Score: 4, Funny
    Well... I tried to make a joke here, repeating the word SPAM a lot, but I got cought by slashdot's SPAM filter:

    Your comment violated the "postercomment" compression filter. Try less whitespace and/or less repetition. But I didn't dive up! Thus, I have figured out a way to beat the system, here it goes:

    while echo "SPAM!"; do echo "SPAM!"; done

    So for much for a SPAM filter, slashdot!
  12. Thanks spam for a good paying job by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Thank you spam for providing me with a relatively high paying job for the past five years.

    If it were not for spam I'd still be doing maintainance on crufty old Fortran applications.

  13. Stallman Wants a Date! by spun · · Score: 4, Funny

    Damn AC, you beat me to it. That comment alone made the whole thing worth reading. I was reading along, not really paying attention to who was who, but I got to that line and thought, 'okay, who is THIS yutz?' So I scrolled back and lo-and-behold! It's Stallman.

    Someone should make a Richard Lolman pic, "I'm in yer ARPAnet, begging for dates." Or "Online Dating: yer doin' it wrong." Or even "I can has girlfriend?"

    --
    - None can love freedom heartily, but good men; the rest love not freedom, but license. -- John Milton
  14. Named after a Python script by sm62704 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Man: You sit here, dear.
    Wife: All right.
    Man: Morning!
    Waitress: Morning!
    Man: Well, what've you got?
    Waitress: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam;
    Vikings: Spam spam spam spam...
    Waitress: ...spam spam spam egg and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam...
    Vikings: Spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam!
    Waitress: ...or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam.
    Wife: Have you got anything without spam?
    Waitress: Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.
    Wife: I don't want ANY spam!
    Man: Why can't she have egg bacon spam and sausage?
    Wife: THAT'S got spam in it!
    Man: Hasn't got as much spam in it as spam egg sausage and spam, has it?
    Vikings: Spam spam spam spam... (Crescendo through next few lines...)
    Wife: Could you do the egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam then?
    Waitress: Urgghh!
    Wife: What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like spam!
    Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
    Waitress: Shut up!
    Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
    Waitress: Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings! You can't have egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam.
    Wife: I don't like spam!
    Man: Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your spam. I love it. I'm having spam spam spam spam spam spam spam beaked beans spam spam spam and spam!
    Vikings: Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
    Waitress: Shut up!! Baked beans are off.
    Man: Well could I have her spam instead of the baked beans then?
    Waitress: You mean spam spam spam spam spam spam... (but it is too late and the Vikings drown her words)
    Vikings: (Singing elaborately...) Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! Spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam. Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Spam spam spam spam!

    --
    mcgrew's razor: Never attribute to stupidity that which can be explained by greedy self-interest
  15. Re:That were sweet old times by bennomatic · · Score: 2, Funny

    .. when spam was fought against by military.
    At least Jimmy Carter didn't have the audacity to make a speech about the war on spam while standing in front of a "Mission Accomplished" banner after this bold email was sent.
    --
    The CB App. What's your 20?
  16. Al Gore? by funk1337 · · Score: 4, Funny

    How come Al Gore isn't on this list? Interesting...

    1. Re:Al Gore? by daeley · · Score: 2, Funny

      Coincidentally, it's also the 30th anniversary of that joke. :P

      --
      I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate.
  17. A conversation with my children by FuzzyDaddy · · Score: 3, Funny
    Q: Daddy, how old are you?

    A: Older than spam, kiddo.

    Q: ooooooooh

    --
    It's not wasting time, I'm educating myself.
  18. I realized spam was overkill... by xtracto · · Score: 2, Funny

    I realized spam was overkill when I received a letter (real, dead tree letter) from some USA company wanting to sell me penis enlargement products at my home address... ... in a forsaken city in Mexico. Really, how much did it cost for them to send me such letters?

    --
    Ubuntu is an African word meaning 'I can't configure Debian'
  19. Re:Look who's 70 by Richard+W.M.+Jones · · Score: 2, Funny

    For those wondering, the original spam (nee Hormel spiced ham) turned 70 last year.

    That explains the taste ...

    --
    libguestfs - tools for accessing and modifying virtual machine disk images
  20. Spam Is 30 Years Old by Tarlus · · Score: 2, Funny

    I believe the meat product sold in cans often is, too.

    --
    /* No Comment */
  21. Re:DECSYSTEM-2020 by Rob+T+Firefly · · Score: 2, Funny

    I wonder what one of those babies goes for nowadays. It might be a neat addition to my collection...

    ...wait, a 30-year-old spam just WORKED on me. Fucksocks!

    --
    Slashdot Burying Stories About Slashdot Media Owned