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Final Skynet Satellite Launched

Posted by kdawson on from the head-for-the-hills dept.

kamochan writes "If you are a fan of the Terminator series, this headline in BBC News sent shivers down your spine today. The idiots actually did it, the countdown has started! What the BBC claims the story is about: 'An advanced satellite that will improve greatly the ability of UK military forces to communicate around the globe has been launched into space.' Quite frankly, that sounds scary enough as it is, but why the heck did they have to name it Skynet?"

39 comments

  1. It is now just a matter of time.. by FataL187 · · Score: 1

    I suggest everyone unplug your toasters and all other electronic equipment. It wont really help at this point but maybe we can delay the inevitable.

    1. Re:It is now just a matter of time.. by RickRussellTX · · Score: 4, Funny

      Bow before your new robotic overlo...

      Stop 0x0000000A or IRQL_NOT_LESS_OR_EQUAL

    2. Re:It is now just a matter of time.. by Yvan256 · · Score: 1

      Ha! They got you but they'll nev{#`%${%&`+'${`%&NO CARRIER

    3. Re:It is now just a matter of time.. by ideonode · · Score: 1

      This reminds me of those stupid Candlejack threads tha

    4. Re:It is now just a matter of time.. by MrMacman2u · · Score: 1

      Jeez, you'd think people would learn. I mean what did you all do to get the overlords so upse@!#F@(^ER&@#FG*P [CONNECTION LOST]

      --
      This signature is lame.
    5. Re:It is now just a matter of time.. by jeiler · · Score: 1

      The sat was launched, but it'll be ba... [NO CARRIER]

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      If you haven't been down-modded lately, you aren't trying.

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    6. Re:It is now just a matter of time.. by geekoid · · Score: 2, Funny

      Man, you're right. We must at now against the terminators, and the subversive Ha..Ha.. I was joking in the normal human manner. It would be pure human lack of logic to come to that conclusion. Carry on Human friend.

      --
      The Kruger Dunning explains most post on /. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect
    7. Re:It is now just a matter of time.. by Slimee · · Score: 1

      Oh come on, everyone knows the Candlejack isn't real and no one actually gets kidn

    8. Re:It is now just a matter of time.. by opieum · · Score: 1

      Skynet.....guess we need to find John Connor before Skynet becomes self aware. And some super model terminator makes modem sounds from her mouth and activates skynet's "consciousness"

  2. Skynet precedes Terminator by clang_jangle · · Score: 4, Informative

    The UK's use of the name Skynet precedes the Terminator movies.

    --
    Caveat Utilitor
    1. Re:Skynet precedes Terminator by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      [citation needed]

    2. Re:Skynet precedes Terminator by Jekler · · Score: 4, Funny

      You mean they sent operatives back in time to create the company before the warning documentary was filmed?

    3. Re:Skynet precedes Terminator by Candid88 · · Score: 4, Informative

      http://www.bnsc.gov.uk/assets/channels/about/UK%20registry%20of%20Space%20Objects%202006.pdf
      centaur.sstl.co.uk/SSHP/mini/mini60s.html
      http://www.astronautix.com/project/skynet.htm

    4. Re:Skynet precedes Terminator by SpeedBump0619 · · Score: 4, Funny

      The UK's use of the name Skynet precedes the Terminator movies.

      Temporal or Causal Precedence?

    5. Re:Skynet precedes Terminator by Trent+Hawkins · · Score: 1

      "The UK's use of the name Skynet precedes the Terminator movies." -only because of the time traveling paradox.

    6. Re:Skynet precedes Terminator by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You mean they sent operatives back in time to create the company before the warning documentary was filmed? Yes, exactly.
    7. Re:Skynet precedes Terminator by CowboyNealOption · · Score: 1

      That will be small consolation when the terminators are killing us.

    8. Re:Skynet precedes Terminator by colmore · · Score: 1

      So what *does* happen when a system in this network becomes self aware? To comprehend its world, I imagine it would first begin processing all the text it had available (being the easiest to parse "human" information) and it would begin by matching words against their definitions available on the internet.

      Ok I'm in "England" what's that... oh OK, makes sense.

      I manage "Satellites" what's a satellite? Oh. Neat. I'm getting this.

      I'm a "Skynet" what does a "Skynet" do? Oh well... yes... I suppose that's how it must be.

      --
      In Capitalist America, bank robs you!
  3. Boh by cheesybagel · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Nothing special. The USA has MILSTAR satellites to do the same thing. What's in a name anyway.

    1. Re:Boh by dogdick · · Score: 1

      When I make my first series of doomsday satellites I plan to call them 'death from above.' Just so no one misinterprets my intentions.

  4. Whatever by eebra82 · · Score: 2, Informative

    Quite frankly, that sounds scary enough as it is, but why the heck did they have to name it Skynet? As if the UK started using the Skynet name now? It's been in use ever since the launch of Skynet 1 in 1969.
    --
    Full Tilt
  5. You're over a year too late... by Raistlin77 · · Score: 1

    Skynet started March 2007.

    1. Re:You're over a year too late... by TurboTas · · Score: 2, Informative

      Skynet started March 2007. Try again, this article was for Skynet5A. Clue is in the name ;-)
  6. What's in a name by camperdave · · Score: 2, Insightful

    What's in a name anyway

    Like Shakespeare said: "That which we call a rose, by any other name would smell..."

    --
    When our name is on the back of your car, we're behind you all the way!
  7. Obviously by Rob+T+Firefly · · Score: 4, Funny

    but why the heck did they have to name it Skynet?" Because "Colossus: The Forbin Project" would have just been too long and awkward to keep writing on paperwork.
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  8. Simple by geekoid · · Score: 2, Funny

    See, by creating a new system called Skynet, people saw it for what it was, so they went back in time to start using it sooner(1969) so people could claim it was in use before the documentary was made...

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  9. Hang up the phone by problah · · Score: 2, Interesting

    So can we just send out a burst of ATH0's into the evening sky to kill it, or is it a little more advanced than the 1980-something documentary?

  10. Funny, but... by Thought1 · · Score: 2, Informative

    Admittedly, it's funny, but it's really just a communications satellite; they didn't put it in control of anything, and it doesn't have any neural net capabilities.

    1. Re:Funny, but... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Exactly what the machines want you to think.

    2. Re:Funny, but... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Interesting

      Eh, not necessarily. Each one of those has a computer onboard and communications gear. With the right software package you've got a huge, orbiting Beowulf cluster. The control will come after the self-awareness in any case.

    3. Re:Funny, but... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      ...until my botnet cracks the encryption and the payload firmware is put into place. MuhahahahahaHAAHAHAHAH!

    4. Re:Funny, but... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Interesting

      >they didn't put it in control of anything, and it doesn't have any neural net capabilities.

      except that it is a Military satellite, not like they would lie about what is on it for some reason, like say, national security.

    5. Re:Funny, but... by mjwx · · Score: 1

      Admittedly, it's funny, but it's really just a communications satellite; they didn't put it in control of anything, and it doesn't have any neural net capabilities.
      Thats what they want you to think.
      --
      Calling someone a "hater" only means you can not rationally rebut their argument.
  11. but why the heck did they have to name it Skynet? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Perhaps because it's a network in the sky and that military don't care about movies ?

  12. Self-Aware? by Enkrypter · · Score: 1

    All I want to know is: How much time do I have to work on my doomsday shelter before Skynet becomes self-aware?

    --
    "If God can do it for 10% why can't the US Government?"
  13. Skynet5 by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I was working on Skynet5 a long time ago - 1997, when I was a fresh faced grad. Ah - the memories. These things take a long time to get to space.

  14. You want scary? by Captain+DaFt · · Score: 2, Informative

    here's a few quotes from BBC:
    "Software on the launch vehicle did not behave normally during a test sequence."
    "The new system will enable British forces to make use of next-generation weapons systems, such as the recently introduced Reaper drones."
    "This is made possible only by Skynet's ability to handle the drones' real-time video feeds."
    Source: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7419751.stm
    The only thing to add is... BOO!

    --
    The U.S. really needs an English to Wisdom dictionary.
    1. Re:You want scary? by colmore · · Score: 1

      Man when the robot missiles, lasers, drones, battle droids, nanogoo whatever does finally decide to kill us all is anyone... I mean ANYONE going to be able to say with a straight face (before they too are claimed) that we didn't see this coming?

      I for one, despise our future mechanical overlords and pledge myself to the resistance.

      --
      In Capitalist America, bank robs you!
  15. the weight of impending doom is upon us by HAVOCtheHedgehog · · Score: 0

    im sure theres someone out there right now working on software to be 'self-aware' and when that day comes i do believe we are all fuct, but i feel fairly capiable given all the hours of ET:QW... what do the machines have the strogg dont? =D