SCO's Lawsuit Gets Even Crazier

I Don't Believe in Imaginary Property writes "With SCO in Chapter 11 bankruptcy and there being little to read other than status reports and the boring financial details of how the company is wasting its last few dollars, one could be excused for thinking the SCO lawsuits had lost their zip. But things just got a bit more interesting. Jonathan Lee Riches has asked the court to take over. Yes, the man also known as inmate #40948-018 is now bringing his legal experience to the table, having previously filed pro se lawsuits against such entities as Michael Vick, Michael Jordan, Mickey Mantle, the Lincoln Memorial, the Thirteen Tribes of Israel, 'Various Buddhist Monks,' Mein Kampf, Denny's, George W. Bush, the Soviet Gulag Archipelago, Bellevue Hospital, Iran's Evin Prison, Auschwitz, and Plato. In his hand-written pro se motion (PDF), he asks to intervene as Plaintiff pursuant to FRCP 24(a)(2). As best anyone can read the motion, it appears that he offered Novell some 'royalty payments' and they refused them, so he wants to protect his UnixWare rights. He also claims to have proof of SCO's claims, but he wants take over part of the case via FRCP 24 because SCO isn't competent, and allegedly he could do a better job. To be fair, between him and Darl, it's something of a toss-up."

Comments

To be fair, who among you HASNT wanted to sue

[antifoidulus]

Denny's or George W. Bush?

Re:To be fair, who among you HASNT wanted to sue

[Anonymous Coward]

I've wanted to (in both cases), even as a Canadian.

Re:To be fair, who among you HASNT wanted to sue

[elrous0]

Screw that. I want some of the fat Plato cash!

Re:To be fair, who among you HASNT wanted to sue

[snowgirl]

Pfff I want to sue "Mein Kampf", I mean, how many times do you get to sue an inanimate object? (To be fair, the Lincoln Memorial probably has a staff..)

Re:To be fair, who among you HASNT wanted to sue

[Rei]

He's also sued the Magna Carta. ;) I actually read about him when he triggered one of my Google News Alerts by suing Steve Fambro, founder of Aptera Motors, for not giving him a long-sleeved shirt to stay warm with. Aptera is the company that's making the two hyper-efficient spaceship-like three wheelers: the $27k, 120-mile range Aptera Typ-1e electric car and the $30k Aptera Typ-1h plug-in hybrid.

Re:To be fair, who among you HASNT wanted to sue

[Anonymous Coward]

It's a very low quality 24-hour diner common in the USA and elsewhere. Wikipedia

Re:To be fair, who among you HASNT wanted to sue

[poetmatt]

very low quality is a complement. I'm amazed people haven't died from eating that food.

Re:To be fair, who among you HASNT wanted to sue

[snowgirl]

Wow, turns out some one tried to sue themselves for getting arrested. >_

Re:To be fair, who among you HASNT wanted to sue

[poetmatt]

Denny's is edible, the same as IHOP (international house of prostitution - aka watch out for the cottage cheese discharges)

There's something in chicago that's open 24 hours thats somewhat of an Ed Debevics equivalent, that is obviously more expensive (city tax) but legitimately a worthy eat...wish I remembered the name.

Of course, any restaurant thats open after midnight the first response is that "your mileage may vary" as every place at that point is likely some form of a risk to eat at.

Re:To be fair, who among you HASNT wanted to sue

[snowgirl]

* WARNING: Consuming raw, undercooked food, or food from Denny's may increase your risk of food-borne illness.

Hmm..

[The Ancients]

To be fair, between him and Darl, it's something of a toss-up."

"Toss up"? You got that right.

Translation of PDF

[Gewalt]

It reads: "It's cold in here, and I'm lonely."

Re:Translation of PDF

[Otter]

Translation of this story: "Hey, let's laugh at that mentally ill person!"

Re:Translation of PDF

[cyphercell]

are you sure? Maybe the mentally ill person is wondering why sco gets away with it and he doesn't? Honestly, if we were to admit he were mentally ill he wouldn't belong in prison, if he's not ill then surely he jests.

Re:Translation of PDF

[_KiTA_]

Translation of this story: "Hey, let's laugh at that mentally ill person!"

If I was stuck in jail for 10 years, I'd be doing the same thing -- sucking as MUCH money out of the system as possible, just for something to do. Plus they might let him out to shut him up.

Re:Translation of PDF

[DrJimbo]

"... I see dead companies ..."

Re:Translation of PDF

[jd]

The odds are near-certain that he is ill to some degree, and fairly high that he's ill enough to have had some sort of split with reality. Clearly not completely, if he's wanting to sue Denny's, but nonetheless significant. I've always thought that it would make more sense to split prison sentences into a penal phase actually in a prison, and a mental phase where the person is in a suitable facility that has comparable security and restrictions (ie: not a "soft option") but is primarily concerned with treating mental conditions.

The primary idea would be that you would then dispense entirely with the insanity plea, regard ALL who are convicted as needing some mental health care, and split the time accordingly. This means that all who actually do need treatment get it, and those who don't get a thorough health check, so nobody would lose. This would also eliminate the usual problem of the prosecution and the defense hiring mental health "experts" that look for what they want to see, and the whole problem of 'criminal insanity'. Such a concept would have no meaning, if all insanity gets treated and no insanity is punished. You'd have to be extremely careful to keep it to genuine help rather than control, but I don't see that as an impossibility.

The secondary aspect is that if some people get the mental health checks first, you might reduce prison violence and prison ganglands. If these attitudes can be attacked effectively, it has to be outside an environment they think they can rule. There is something macho to those guys about being in prison, it's even a medal of honor to some. I don't think they'd get quite that machismo kick out of being in a padded room with doctors who are going to utterly ignore their ravings.

Of course, this means you would need to build highly secure mental homes capable of handling three or four million people, have sufficient medical facilities in each to test and treat as necessary, and sufficient experts in the field to actually handle the volume of work. I'm not sure what 9.4T MRI scanners cost these days, but you really need to get to that resolution to diagnose anything other than the most coarse-grained of stuff. Nor do I know how much the highest resolution CAT, PET, fMRI and EEG systems cost. However, I don't imagine the full works for every major population center would cost more than a few tens of trillions of dollars in total. A hundred trillion at the outside. Not sure the return would come close to that, which is a pain, but it might finally kill the Wild West attitude towards justice that is found in so many countries, and that would be a Good Thing at almost any price.

The biggest drawback to this speculation is that quite possibly I'm the only one on the planet who thinks along these lines.

Re:Translation of PDF

[Gilmoure]

What was that about Denny's again?

Re:Translation of PDF

[Manchot]

I don't think that he's mentally ill. He files these lawsuits in different federal districts in order to avoid frivolity penalties. In other words, he recognizes that the suits are completely ridiculous. I bet that he's doing it because he's bored.

Re:Translation of PDF

[johkir]

Or, "Let's laugh WITH that (mentally ill) person!"

Re:Translation of PDF

[LrdDimwit]

It's not unheard of for inmates to do this kind of thing -- repeatedly file frivolous lawsuits. See, prisoners are indigent, so they get to sue basically for free, but they can *see* the havoc they cause on everyone else who has to deal with their mess. What do they care, they're in jail for the rest of their life anyway. What have they got to lose?

Giving them access to the courts is done on purpose, to prevent excesses in the prison system. (Not that this is particularly effective, but that's the theory -- imagine if no prisoner could ever sue the prison system because he couldn't sue while incarcerated. Scary stuff.) Unfortunately, some of them found out that they can do the equivalent of griefing/trolling and there are no real repercussions. They have nothing to lose (or near enough) and they can cause people some pain and get back at the system. So some do.

Shawshank

[bugs2squash]

All because Andy Dufresne just had to build that damn law library...

Oh wait - I'm failing to separate fact from fiction...

Oh wait...

Re:Shawshank

[elrous0]

At least they're learning valuable trades that they can use when they escape.

Cellmates

[rjshirts]

I guess he and Darl can cook up theories in prison together about how IBM is secretly owning the world, and how they put a secret chemical into every keyboard to make you addicted to the internet.
I mean, it's the next logical step in this case, isn't it?

Re:Cellmates

[rpmayhem]

I knew there was a better reason why the IBM model M keyboards are so beloved.

Re:Cellmates

[Foobar of Borg]

how they put a secret chemical into every keyboard to make you addicted to the internet

Darl: Mandrake, do you realize that flouridation of keyboards is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous Linux plot that we have yet to face? ... I cannot sit back and allow Linux infiltration, Linux indoctrination, Linux subversion, and the international Linux conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.

Fat chance.

[WK2]

Compared to SCO, this guy's lawsuit actually has a chance of succeeding.

don't forget...

[Anonymous Coward]

to pay your $299 (or was it $499) "get out of jail" fee, you ...

Toss up?

[segedunum]

Sound like a couple of tossers to me.

Re:Toss up?

[tomhudson]

Sound like a couple of tossers to me.

So which one's going to be getting their salad tossed, and which one's the eater? Or is it going to be a mutual thing?

Re:SCO isn't competent? Ya think?

[Kugrian]

This guy is an amazing loon. Seriously, he makes Jack Thompson look sane.

From Washington Post (as linked in above summary):

On July 16, for instance, he filed a complaint alleging that the
Mossad, the CIA and "Larry King Live" conspired to "hijack my torso, three toes,
and my constitutional rights and ship them to a secret headquarters in Concord,
NH," as well as inserted microchips and "dashing my hopes." He accuses Larry
King of being "a voodoo witch doctor who stole my identity on February 25th,
2003 and purchased lead paint, Chips Ahoy!, Planter's Peanuts, and Ziploc bags
under my identity. Distributed them to the CIA to microwave test my
DNA."

Can't find words..

Insane, but knowlegable

[gubers33]

Granted the guy has totally went insane in prison, but in terms of his knowledge of the law he is probably more knowledgeable than SCO. If you read some of his other suits, the legal references are legit, but his plaintiffs and reasons for suing are completely off the deep end.

Re:Insane, but knowlegable

[Galactic Dominator]

Granted the guy has totally went insane in prison

He's insane like Monty Python is insane. Totally insane is when you have to wear depends and take Thorazine shots daily. You shouldn't call things bricked that are salvageable. Boredom will make you do strange things.

Crazier!

[geogob]

SCO's Lawsuit Gets Even Crazier

Well, now I, without a doubt, believe anything is possible. Perhaps even the most pessimistic being/thing in the universe would believe anything is possible after reading this line.

Plato's reponse

[mattjb0010]

In response, Plato said: "Justice means minding one's own business and not meddling with other men's concerns."

IANAMP

[stomv]

I am not a medical professional, but it sure seems that Jonathan Lee Riches is acting in ways that may be medically insane. The US Justice system doesn't exactly have a good track record when dealing with mental illness.

If he is ill, I hope he gets treatment.

Goodness Gracious, Great Gobs of Dough!

[Jason Levine]

Riches's imagination in making accusations is matched by his audacity in asking for damages. In the July 16 suit he demanded "211,429,399,000,000.00 trillion dollars backed by gold and silver, delivered by United States Postal Service."

That's 211 septillion, 429 sextillion, 399 quintillion dollars. To compare, the world's GDP (as of 2006) was $65.95 trillion. So the guy wanted over 3.2 TRILLION percent of the world's GDP.

On July 16, for instance, he filed a complaint alleging that the Mossad, the CIA and "Larry King Live" conspired to "hijack my torso, three toes, and my constitutional rights and ship them to a secret headquarters in Concord, NH," as well as inserted microchips and "dashing my hopes." He accuses Larry King of being "a voodoo witch doctor who stole my identity on February 25th, 2003 and purchased lead paint, Chips Ahoy!, Planter's Peanuts, and Ziploc bags under my identity. Distributed them to the CIA to microwave test my DNA."

The guy's either a certified loon or someone trying to pass himself off as one. And these two small quotes are just two drops in the loony bucket. I hate to say it, but even Darl McBride's most fantastic quotes were closer to reality that this guy's quotes. Even though Darl didn't have anywhere near the evidence to back his claims, they were within the general realm of possibility. Larry King stealing this guy's identity to buy ziploc bags and passing them on to the CIA to "microwave test" his DNA? That makes Iraq's old Information Minister look like he was telling the complete truth.

Re:Goodness Gracious, Great Gobs of Dough!

[tomhudson]

Riches's imagination in making accusations is matched by his audacity in asking for damages. In the July 16 suit he demanded "211,429,399,000,000.00 trillion dollars backed by gold and silver, delivered by United States Postal Service."

That's 211 septillion, 429 sextillion, 399 quintillion dollars. To compare, the world's GDP (as of 2006) was $65.95 trillion. So the guy wanted over 3.2 TRILLION percent of the world's GDP.

And how is that crazier than the RIAA wanting $150,000.00 for each song "illegally shared" to compensate them for their "losses" - which also, using their figures for "song piracy", also works out to more than all the money in the world?

Re:Goodness Gracious, Great Gobs of Dough!

[bluefoxlucid]

The guy's either a certified loon or someone trying to pass himself off as one.

Honestly? His claims sound a lot like the religious tomes of Scientology.

Maybe he's bored, or waiting for the mother ship?

Re:Goodness Gracious, Great Gobs of Dough!

[Chris Burke]

That's 211 septillion, 429 sextillion, 399 quintillion dollars. To compare, the world's GDP (as of 2006) was $65.95 trillion. So the guy wanted over 3.2 TRILLION percent of the world's GDP.

Geeze, why not just go all the way and ask for "infinity U.S. dollars, in non-sequential bills"

Tag request

[RockMFR]

Please tag story "microwavetesting". Thanks.

Re:It's insane, but with a system

[db32]

I suspect you are right for the wrong reason. Serving 10 years in prison is what he is facing, for identity theft. Getting declared legally insane and shipped off for treatment I suspect would be a really nice way to get out of prison rape and the other joys of being incarcerated. I could be wrong, I don't know much about the guy, but somehow I suspect with his identity theft crimes and knowledge of law that he probably isn't a toughguy thug apt to make it through 10 years of prison without his asshole being stretched considerably.

Hey, hey, not so fast...

[ediron2]

Darl may be mentally ill, but I can't be the only one withholding judgement on his status as a member of the human race until someone pays for independent review.

Of course, the very job of auditing Darl for evidence of humanity brings to mind the joke about lawyers v. labrats ('there are some things even a rat won't do').

Oh, you meant the cellmate?... um, Nevermind... </emily>

Re:SCO isn't competent? Ya think?

[number11]

numerous judges have thrown his cases out, one referred to his case as 'farsical'

Wow, this nut writes his cases in Persian?

Daryl won

[richmaine]

The difference between this guy and Daryl is that Daryl won. No, he didn't win the lawsuits, but that's a small detail. He walked away from it all a rich man. He won. With our legal system, it is quite easy to win a suit and come away having lost money big time. It is also possible to loose a suit, while getting rich in the process, although that's not so easy a trick to pull. Daryl managed. I'm not at all sure Daryl is stupid. Crooked - yes; stupid - not so clear at all.

JLR, on the other hand, is in prison.

Re:Daryl won

[justleavealonemmmkay]

I aym iyn fulyl agreemenyt wityh yoyu.

Re:SCO isn't competent? Ya think?

[AeroIllini]

Are we sure he isn't also this guy?

Ahh, the world would be a much more boring place without a few raving lunatics about.

699 trillion trillion of AWESOME you mean

[gelfling]

Fucking Plato that rat bastid.

Darl's next career

[PPH]

Playing the part of the Black Knight in Monty Python's Search for the Holy Grail.

"None shall pass!"

Popular enough to be on Wikipedia

[ryanduff]

Hey, the guy has his own article on Wikipedia. Cut the guy some slack. How many of you are listed on Wikipedia??

How did this not make TFA

[quantumplacet]

Really worth reading the Justia link in groklaw:
http://news.justia.com/cases/jonathan-lee-riches/

This might be my favorite

Plaintiff sued the Jena 6 for "Loss of My White Rights" and sought $100 million in white gold and the White House. Plaintiff alleged that defendants hung a white noose in his cell at FCI Willaimsburg, told the FCI Williamsburg dentists not to fix his white fillings, fed him tainted White Castle hamburgers, turn his cell mate into Snow White, called him the white Suge Knight, burnt him with Great Whites pyrotechnics, made him suffer whiteouts, gave him white phosphorus, subjected him to low white blood cell counts, and that Vanna White won't write. Defendants also allegedly turned plaintiff into a white collar criminal and sent Whitehouse prosecutors after his white skin.

This guy is definitely hilarious and not crazy.