Slashdot Mirror

← Back to Stories (view on slashdot.org)

SCO's Lawsuit Gets Even Crazier

Posted by kdawson on from the if-such-were-possible dept.

I Don't Believe in Imaginary Property writes "With SCO in Chapter 11 bankruptcy and there being little to read other than status reports and the boring financial details of how the company is wasting its last few dollars, one could be excused for thinking the SCO lawsuits had lost their zip. But things just got a bit more interesting. Jonathan Lee Riches has asked the court to take over. Yes, the man also known as inmate #40948-018 is now bringing his legal experience to the table, having previously filed pro se lawsuits against such entities as Michael Vick, Michael Jordan, Mickey Mantle, the Lincoln Memorial, the Thirteen Tribes of Israel, 'Various Buddhist Monks,' Mein Kampf, Denny's, George W. Bush, the Soviet Gulag Archipelago, Bellevue Hospital, Iran's Evin Prison, Auschwitz, and Plato. In his hand-written pro se motion (PDF), he asks to intervene as Plaintiff pursuant to FRCP 24(a)(2). As best anyone can read the motion, it appears that he offered Novell some 'royalty payments' and they refused them, so he wants to protect his UnixWare rights. He also claims to have proof of SCO's claims, but he wants take over part of the case via FRCP 24 because SCO isn't competent, and allegedly he could do a better job. To be fair, between him and Darl, it's something of a toss-up."

142 of 179 comments (clear)

  1. To be fair, who among you HASNT wanted to sue by antifoidulus · · Score: 5, Funny

    Denny's or George W. Bush?

    --
    Monstar L
    1. Re:To be fair, who among you HASNT wanted to sue by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      I've wanted to (in both cases), even as a Canadian.

    2. Re:To be fair, who among you HASNT wanted to sue by elrous0 · · Score: 2, Funny

      Screw that. I want some of the fat Plato cash!

      --
      SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
    3. Re:To be fair, who among you HASNT wanted to sue by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      You'll be disappointed. Plato always exaggerated his numbers ten-fold. And most of what remained was stolen by Aristotle to build his philosopher's harem.

    4. Re:To be fair, who among you HASNT wanted to sue by snowgirl · · Score: 3, Funny

      Pfff I want to sue "Mein Kampf", I mean, how many times do you get to sue an inanimate object? (To be fair, the Lincoln Memorial probably has a staff..)

      --
      WARNING! This girl exceeds the MAXIMUM SAFE standards established by the FDA for BRATTINESS
    5. Re:To be fair, who among you HASNT wanted to sue by Rei · · Score: 4, Informative

      He's also sued the Magna Carta. ;) I actually read about him when he triggered one of my Google News Alerts by suing Steve Fambro, founder of Aptera Motors, for not giving him a long-sleeved shirt to stay warm with. Aptera is the company that's making the two hyper-efficient spaceship-like three wheelers: the $27k, 120-mile range Aptera Typ-1e electric car and the $30k Aptera Typ-1h plug-in hybrid.

      --
      No, she's fine. My associate is vomiting for a totally unrelated reason.
    6. Re:To be fair, who among you HASNT wanted to sue by damista · · Score: 1

      GWB, I can understand but excuse my ignorance: Who or what the heck is Denny's???

    7. Re:To be fair, who among you HASNT wanted to sue by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Informative

      It's a very low quality 24-hour diner common in the USA and elsewhere. Wikipedia

    8. Re:To be fair, who among you HASNT wanted to sue by poetmatt · · Score: 3, Funny

      very low quality is a complement. I'm amazed people haven't died from eating that food.

    9. Re:To be fair, who among you HASNT wanted to sue by deraj123 · · Score: 1

      Compared to most of the 24 hour diner's I've eaten at, Denny's is pretty decent fare...It's usually my choice for a "good" meal at 4am.

    10. Re:To be fair, who among you HASNT wanted to sue by jgarra23 · · Score: 1

      I LOVE the Super Bird. Always have. Though I am pretty P.O.'D about the slight and gradual change in size (smaller) over the years, they are obviously trying to cut costs..

    11. Re:To be fair, who among you HASNT wanted to sue by snowgirl · · Score: 4, Funny

      Wow, turns out some one tried to sue themselves for getting arrested. >_

      --
      WARNING! This girl exceeds the MAXIMUM SAFE standards established by the FDA for BRATTINESS
    12. Re:To be fair, who among you HASNT wanted to sue by poetmatt · · Score: 2, Funny

      Denny's is edible, the same as IHOP (international house of prostitution - aka watch out for the cottage cheese discharges)

      There's something in chicago that's open 24 hours thats somewhat of an Ed Debevics equivalent, that is obviously more expensive (city tax) but legitimately a worthy eat...wish I remembered the name.

      Of course, any restaurant thats open after midnight the first response is that "your mileage may vary" as every place at that point is likely some form of a risk to eat at.

    13. Re:To be fair, who among you HASNT wanted to sue by snowgirl · · Score: 1

      "Close the door! What, were you born in a barn?" -- Police chief, "Jesus Christ Supercop"

      I just read your sig... that's wow... hilarious, true, and no doubt going to offend someone...

      --
      WARNING! This girl exceeds the MAXIMUM SAFE standards established by the FDA for BRATTINESS
    14. Re:To be fair, who among you HASNT wanted to sue by snowgirl · · Score: 3, Funny

      * WARNING: Consuming raw, undercooked food, or food from Denny's may increase your risk of food-borne illness.

      --
      WARNING! This girl exceeds the MAXIMUM SAFE standards established by the FDA for BRATTINESS
    15. Re:To be fair, who among you HASNT wanted to sue by elrous0 · · Score: 1

      ...probably was raised in a barn...with all the other primitives.

      --
      SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
    16. Re:To be fair, who among you HASNT wanted to sue by sm62704 · · Score: 1

      My daughter worked at Denny's at one time, and even I wouldn't eat there. Their food tastes like your sig's argument against intelligent design.

      --
      mcgrew's razor: Never attribute to stupidity that which can be explained by greedy self-interest
    17. Re:To be fair, who among you HASNT wanted to sue by shentino · · Score: 1

      Sadly, it happens in the US.

      Only we call it "civil forfeiture".

      Google for "United States v. $124,000" or something.

  2. Hmm.. by The+Ancients · · Score: 4, Funny

    To be fair, between him and Darl, it's something of a toss-up."

    "Toss up"? You got that right.

    --
    The Mothership
    1. Re:Hmm.. by ettlz · · Score: 1

      Oh, I can think of at least 50 better things to toss over.

    2. Re:Hmm.. by bryce4president · · Score: 1

      Toss up? In Jonathan Lee Riches situation, more like a tossed salad.

  3. Translation of PDF by Gewalt · · Score: 5, Insightful

    It reads: "It's cold in here, and I'm lonely."

    --
    Modding Trolls +1 inciteful since 1999
    1. Re:Translation of PDF by spun · · Score: 1

      My favorite JLR quote:

      "Philip Woolston and Apple Computers sexually assaulted me in my dreams and not in real life, I can't sue a dream."
       

      --
      - None can love freedom heartily, but good men; the rest love not freedom, but license. -- John Milton
    2. Re:Translation of PDF by Otter · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Translation of this story: "Hey, let's laugh at that mentally ill person!"

      --
      What I'm listening to now on Pandora...
    3. Re:Translation of PDF by cyphercell · · Score: 3, Insightful

      are you sure? Maybe the mentally ill person is wondering why sco gets away with it and he doesn't? Honestly, if we were to admit he were mentally ill he wouldn't belong in prison, if he's not ill then surely he jests.

      --
      Under the influence of Post-Cyberpunk Gonzo Journalism
    4. Re:Translation of PDF by AndGodSed · · Score: 1

      "...and I hear stuff..."

      --

      Seven Days with Ubuntu Unity

    5. Re:Translation of PDF by _KiTA_ · · Score: 4, Funny

      Translation of this story: "Hey, let's laugh at that mentally ill person!"

      If I was stuck in jail for 10 years, I'd be doing the same thing -- sucking as MUCH money out of the system as possible, just for something to do. Plus they might let him out to shut him up.

    6. Re:Translation of PDF by DrJimbo · · Score: 4, Funny

      "... I see dead companies ..."

      --
      We don't see the world as it is, we see it as we are.
      -- Anais Nin
    7. Re:Translation of PDF by jd · · Score: 5, Interesting
      The odds are near-certain that he is ill to some degree, and fairly high that he's ill enough to have had some sort of split with reality. Clearly not completely, if he's wanting to sue Denny's, but nonetheless significant. I've always thought that it would make more sense to split prison sentences into a penal phase actually in a prison, and a mental phase where the person is in a suitable facility that has comparable security and restrictions (ie: not a "soft option") but is primarily concerned with treating mental conditions.

      The primary idea would be that you would then dispense entirely with the insanity plea, regard ALL who are convicted as needing some mental health care, and split the time accordingly. This means that all who actually do need treatment get it, and those who don't get a thorough health check, so nobody would lose. This would also eliminate the usual problem of the prosecution and the defense hiring mental health "experts" that look for what they want to see, and the whole problem of 'criminal insanity'. Such a concept would have no meaning, if all insanity gets treated and no insanity is punished. You'd have to be extremely careful to keep it to genuine help rather than control, but I don't see that as an impossibility.

      The secondary aspect is that if some people get the mental health checks first, you might reduce prison violence and prison ganglands. If these attitudes can be attacked effectively, it has to be outside an environment they think they can rule. There is something macho to those guys about being in prison, it's even a medal of honor to some. I don't think they'd get quite that machismo kick out of being in a padded room with doctors who are going to utterly ignore their ravings.

      Of course, this means you would need to build highly secure mental homes capable of handling three or four million people, have sufficient medical facilities in each to test and treat as necessary, and sufficient experts in the field to actually handle the volume of work. I'm not sure what 9.4T MRI scanners cost these days, but you really need to get to that resolution to diagnose anything other than the most coarse-grained of stuff. Nor do I know how much the highest resolution CAT, PET, fMRI and EEG systems cost. However, I don't imagine the full works for every major population center would cost more than a few tens of trillions of dollars in total. A hundred trillion at the outside. Not sure the return would come close to that, which is a pain, but it might finally kill the Wild West attitude towards justice that is found in so many countries, and that would be a Good Thing at almost any price.

      The biggest drawback to this speculation is that quite possibly I'm the only one on the planet who thinks along these lines.

      --
      It's a small world and it smells funny; I'd buy another if it wasn't for the money; Take back what I paid (SoM)
    8. Re:Translation of PDF by Gilmoure · · Score: 3, Funny

      What was that about Denny's again?

      --
      I drank what? -- Socrates
    9. Re:Translation of PDF by Manchot · · Score: 2, Informative

      I don't think that he's mentally ill. He files these lawsuits in different federal districts in order to avoid frivolity penalties. In other words, he recognizes that the suits are completely ridiculous. I bet that he's doing it because he's bored.

    10. Re:Translation of PDF by gad_zuki! · · Score: 1

      Right, because no mentally ill people have ever gone to prison!

    11. Re:Translation of PDF by inode_buddha · · Score: 1

      Let's talk.

      --
      C|N>K
    12. Re:Translation of PDF by Faylone · · Score: 1

      Yeah, that 'prison' thing does a good job of that, too.

    13. Re:Translation of PDF by fermion · · Score: 1

      Timmy!

      --
      "She's a scientist and a lesbian. She's not going to let it slide." Orphan Black
    14. Re:Translation of PDF by idiot900 · · Score: 1

      I'm not sure what 9.4T MRI scanners cost these days, but you really need to get to that resolution to diagnose anything other than the most coarse-grained of stuff.

      Correct me if I'm wrong, but you don't use magnets that strong on humans. The most powerful clinical MRI I've seen is 3T. (Granted I haven't paid attention in a few years, but still, 9.4T is quite a lot.)

    15. Re:Translation of PDF by johkir · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Or, "Let's laugh WITH that (mentally ill) person!"

      --
      These are some of the things molecules do...... given 4 billion years -Carl Sagan
    16. Re:Translation of PDF by jd · · Score: 1

      Admittedly, it IS in Chicago, so I cannot vouch for the humans getting back out again, but if worked as described by the researchers involved, the system is capable of resolving down to individual neural connections.

      --
      It's a small world and it smells funny; I'd buy another if it wasn't for the money; Take back what I paid (SoM)
    17. Re:Translation of PDF by Repossessed · · Score: 1

      There's a slight problem with this idea, in that involuntary mental health institutions have a habit of completely ignoring what is typically considered ethical treatment of prisoners. Everything from keeping a person perpetually restrained (A major violation of international law) to simple stuff like denying a prisoner access to reading materials and visitation rights.

      There are certainly reasons to do all this, in extreme cases, but I wouldn't subject anyone to the nutjobs that run the madhouses if it was at all avoidable.

      --
      Liberte, Egalite, Fraternite (TM)
    18. Re:Translation of PDF by KGIII · · Score: 1

      If you want the long story I'll share it with you but I'll give you the short of it. The justice department is not, and has never been, about rehabilitation. It is retribution. It is not about resolving, it is about warehousing inmates at the lowest possible cost.

      --
      "So long and thanks for all the fish."
    19. Re:Translation of PDF by jd · · Score: 1
      You are absolutely correct, which means that if such a system were to ever be implemented - at least, ethically - it would need to be thoroughly monitored and outright prohibited from imposing restrictions that could not be imposed in prison under identical circumstances, and limited further from imposing constraints that were mentally damaging, with limited exceptions for when that really is the only option. You'd also need staff who regarded their work in the same light as the truly dedicated and most ethical of doctors, with the view of doing least harm (Hippocratic Oath) and greatest good. Finding one in the psych field that would be able to do that under these sorts of conditions would be hard going, finding a thousand or so per State would be an interesting challenge.

      Of course, this creates an interesting question. Clearly, I'm needing to add more and more constraints on the system to ensure that it meets even the same lousy standards as the existing one. By the time there are enough constraints to ensure that it would be a solution that could be used in good conscience and would actually be beneficial to the prisoners as individuals and to society as a whole, with absolutely no risk of Clockwork Orange-style abuses, will the constraints contradict each other? In other words, is this solution real or an illusion, something where each piece technically works but the combined product never can?

      --
      It's a small world and it smells funny; I'd buy another if it wasn't for the money; Take back what I paid (SoM)
    20. Re:Translation of PDF by jd · · Score: 1

      I think you are correct, and I think that that is part of why the reoffense rate is high, but also why over 1% of the population is now in prison. My suggestion may be a dead-end, but the current system is undead and terminal. Holy water and garlic may also be helpful.

      --
      It's a small world and it smells funny; I'd buy another if it wasn't for the money; Take back what I paid (SoM)
    21. Re:Translation of PDF by KGIII · · Score: 1

      My thoughts? Stop sending them into a prison and start putting them either nowhere, a facility that keeps them all separate, or into a facility that actually helps them. In order: Some crimes don't need to remove the perpetrator from society - see possession of drug charges or the likes. Separated means that they are less likely to continue with criminal conduct and able to control the outside - should be only the rarest of cases where, say, capital punishment is in order. If there is going to be a "release date" then let there be one and let that time being incarcerated be used to actually benefit society by assisting the convicted in learning valuable skills such as, I don't know, how to interact with humanity and do so respectfully. It is my pipe dream so I'll expect that when copyright is realistic, patents are not for processes, and people know they have a choice.

      --
      "So long and thanks for all the fish."
    22. Re:Translation of PDF by jd · · Score: 1

      Realistic or not, I like your thoughts and ideas a lot. We live in a world where destructive thinking is more popular than constructive, but I urge that you don't let that stop you thinking about the ways society can be better. At worst, it is a great outlet for what bubbles through the innermost parts of your mind. At best - well, once every hardly ever, a really good idea gets heard by someone who decides to make it happen, or at least borrows the key ideas. It's too rare to be motivated by it, but it's often enough to make it important that good thinkers don't stop saying what they think.

      --
      It's a small world and it smells funny; I'd buy another if it wasn't for the money; Take back what I paid (SoM)
    23. Re:Translation of PDF by Tom · · Score: 1

      If I was stuck in jail for 10 years, I'd be doing the same thing -- sucking as MUCH money out of the system as possible, just for something to do. Plus they might let him out to shut him up.

      Either that, or he's good a weird sense of humour. I could imagine that he actually enjoys the stuff, and has fun doing it.

      --
      Assorted stuff I do sometimes: Lemuria.org
    24. Re:Translation of PDF by bryce4president · · Score: 1

      Proof please. And something that has happened in the last 15 to 20 years preferably. And more than one incident because you are making this out to be a routine situation.

      My wife happens to work in a mental health unit inside a woman's prison, and her mother in a state hospital for the mentally ill. Neither of which comes remotely close to your perception. At least not in Pennsylvania.

      I, for one, actually think that time with a counselor for ALL convicted criminals (more than a misdemeanor)should be mandatory, along with some group therapy as well. This would bring a need for increased staff, but I think that people coming out of the jails would be more well adjusted. I think that id (gpp) maybe onto something.

    25. Re:Translation of PDF by maroonhat · · Score: 1

      ...with the view of doing least harm (Hippocratic Oath) and...

      ..._no_ harm, first do no harm.

      least is at least a little subjective...

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hippocratic_Oath

      --
      The more I learn about Windows the more I am surprised it runs at all
    26. Re:Translation of PDF by LrdDimwit · · Score: 2, Interesting

      It's not unheard of for inmates to do this kind of thing -- repeatedly file frivolous lawsuits. See, prisoners are indigent, so they get to sue basically for free, but they can *see* the havoc they cause on everyone else who has to deal with their mess. What do they care, they're in jail for the rest of their life anyway. What have they got to lose?

      Giving them access to the courts is done on purpose, to prevent excesses in the prison system. (Not that this is particularly effective, but that's the theory -- imagine if no prisoner could ever sue the prison system because he couldn't sue while incarcerated. Scary stuff.) Unfortunately, some of them found out that they can do the equivalent of griefing/trolling and there are no real repercussions. They have nothing to lose (or near enough) and they can cause people some pain and get back at the system. So some do.

    27. Re:Translation of PDF by sm62704 · · Score: 1

      The thing is, I would guess that most people in prison have some sort of mental illness or other. Especially the non-violent drug criminals, who are likely taking the drugs in the first place because they're "self-medicating".

      I would bet that if we were to institute universal health care like the civilized world does and include mental health care we would no longer incarcerate more prisoners per capita than any other nation in the world as we do now.

      If I hadn't had insurance that covered "adjustment disoprder with depressed mood" (a temporary condition that often occurs after major life changes) after my wife of twenty seven years left my two daughters and me for another man, I might well have done something stupid anough to send me to prison.

      --
      mcgrew's razor: Never attribute to stupidity that which can be explained by greedy self-interest
  4. Shawshank by bugs2squash · · Score: 4, Funny

    All because Andy Dufresne just had to build that damn law library...

    Oh wait - I'm failing to separate fact from fiction...

    Oh wait...

    --
    Nullius in verba
    1. Re:Shawshank by elrous0 · · Score: 2, Funny

      At least they're learning valuable trades that they can use when they escape.

      --
      SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
  5. Cellmates by rjshirts · · Score: 5, Funny

    I guess he and Darl can cook up theories in prison together about how IBM is secretly owning the world, and how they put a secret chemical into every keyboard to make you addicted to the internet.
    I mean, it's the next logical step in this case, isn't it?

    1. Re:Cellmates by morgan_greywolf · · Score: 1

      Prison? Nay. I don't think prison is a good place for either one of them. I'm thinking of a place with a bit more padding on the walls...

      --
      My blog
    2. Re:Cellmates by Elektroschock · · Score: 1

      But IBM is evil. Look what they did to Microsoft Open XML. Or how they gave punchcards to the Nazis...

    3. Re:Cellmates by verbamour · · Score: 1

      I didn't know porn was a chemical...

    4. Re:Cellmates by ProfessionalCookie · · Score: 1

      Or cement & spikes.

    5. Re:Cellmates by ProfessionalCookie · · Score: 1

      For Daryl mind you. This guy is worth keeping around just for the humor. I really hope he's actually semisane.

    6. Re:Cellmates by rpmayhem · · Score: 4, Funny

      I knew there was a better reason why the IBM model M keyboards are so beloved.

    7. Re:Cellmates by Monsuco · · Score: 1

      I mean, it's the next logical step in this case, isn't it?

      No, next he will probably say something crazy like Groklaw's PJ being a hoax and not really existing, oh wait...

      --
      The Gospel according to lolcat
    8. Re:Cellmates by Foobar+of+Borg · · Score: 2, Informative

      how they put a secret chemical into every keyboard to make you addicted to the internet

      Darl: Mandrake, do you realize that flouridation of keyboards is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous Linux plot that we have yet to face? ... I cannot sit back and allow Linux infiltration, Linux indoctrination, Linux subversion, and the international Linux conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.

      --
      Similar to the upcoming US election results
    9. Re:Cellmates by LrdDimwit · · Score: 1

      As if you would need anything so nefarious as a secret chemical. Why you think the net was born? Porn Porn Porn!

  6. That's fun... by Chysn · · Score: 1

    ...ya just can't buy.

    --
    --I'm so big, my sig has its own sig.
    -- See?
  7. Fat chance. by WK2 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Compared to SCO, this guy's lawsuit actually has a chance of succeeding.

    --
    Write your own Choose Your Own Adventure. http://www.freegameengines.org/gamebook-engine/
    1. Re:Fat chance. by XnPlater · · Score: 1

      Yes, if you listen carefully, you can already hear the accordion of triumph in the distance!

      --
      :(){ :|:& };:
    2. Re:Fat chance. by XnPlater · · Score: 1

      Damn, a '3' is missing at the end of the link :(

      --
      :(){ :|:& };:
  8. don't forget... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    to pay your $299 (or was it $499) "get out of jail" fee, you ...

    1. Re:don't forget... by assassinator42 · · Score: 1

      It's $50. What are you talking about?

  9. Toss up? by segedunum · · Score: 2, Funny

    Sound like a couple of tossers to me.

    1. Re:Toss up? by tomhudson · · Score: 2, Funny

      Sound like a couple of tossers to me.

      So which one's going to be getting their salad tossed, and which one's the eater? Or is it going to be a mutual thing?

  10. Re:SCO isn't competent? Ya think? by morgan_greywolf · · Score: 1, Informative

    Not quite. He sued Take-Two, Rockstar Games and the game Grand Theft Auto itself(?!) for putting him in prison. GTA made him commit identity theft, apparently. He also sued a bunch of other people, as The Fine Summary points out.

    Just proving once again that anyone can sue anyone for anything. Needless to say, numerous judges have thrown his cases out, one referred to his case as 'farsical'.

    --
    My blog
  11. This makes me wanna say... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    "Hey, knock it off Jonathan Lee Riches... you're actually making Darl McBride look sane by comparison!" And believe me... that's a feat which is not easily accomplished!

    1. Re:This makes me wanna say... by SanityInAnarchy · · Score: 1

      Oh, it's much worse. He makes Jack Thompson look sane.

      --
      Don't thank God, thank a doctor!
  12. Re:SCO isn't competent? Ya think? by Kugrian · · Score: 5, Interesting

    This guy is an amazing loon. Seriously, he makes Jack Thompson look sane.

    From Washington Post (as linked in above summary):

    On July 16, for instance, he filed a complaint alleging that the
    Mossad, the CIA and "Larry King Live" conspired to "hijack my torso, three toes,
    and my constitutional rights and ship them to a secret headquarters in Concord,
    NH," as well as inserted microchips and "dashing my hopes." He accuses Larry
    King of being "a voodoo witch doctor who stole my identity on February 25th,
    2003 and purchased lead paint, Chips Ahoy!, Planter's Peanuts, and Ziploc bags
    under my identity. Distributed them to the CIA to microwave test my
    DNA."

    Can't find words..

  13. Insane, but knowlegable by gubers33 · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Granted the guy has totally went insane in prison, but in terms of his knowledge of the law he is probably more knowledgeable than SCO. If you read some of his other suits, the legal references are legit, but his plaintiffs and reasons for suing are completely off the deep end.

    --
    Just because you are wrong and I called you out on it doesn't mean I am a Troll.
    1. Re:Insane, but knowlegable by Galactic+Dominator · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Granted the guy has totally went insane in prison

      He's insane like Monty Python is insane. Totally insane is when you have to wear depends and take Thorazine shots daily. You shouldn't call things bricked that are salvageable. Boredom will make you do strange things.

      --
      brandelf -t FreeBSD /brain
    2. Re:Insane, but knowlegable by Capt.DrumkenBum · · Score: 1

      MMMMMMmmmmmmm, I miss my daily Thorazine shots.

      --
      If I were God, wouldn't I protect my churches from acts of me?
  14. Crazier! by geogob · · Score: 2, Funny

    SCO's Lawsuit Gets Even Crazier

    Well, now I, without a doubt, believe anything is possible. Perhaps even the most pessimistic being/thing in the universe would believe anything is possible after reading this line.

  15. Plato's reponse by mattjb0010 · · Score: 5, Insightful

    In response, Plato said: "Justice means minding one's own business and not meddling with other men's concerns."

  16. Re:SCO isn't competent? Ya think? by snowgirl · · Score: 1

    Just proving once again that anyone can sue anyone for anything. Needless to say, numerous judges have thrown his cases out, one referred to his case as 'farsical'.

    This guy apparently has proven that you can sue anything for anything... I mean, "Mein Kampf"?

    --
    WARNING! This girl exceeds the MAXIMUM SAFE standards established by the FDA for BRATTINESS
  17. IANAMP by stomv · · Score: 4, Interesting

    I am not a medical professional, but it sure seems that Jonathan Lee Riches is acting in ways that may be medically insane. The US Justice system doesn't exactly have a good track record when dealing with mental illness.

    If he is ill, I hope he gets treatment.

    --
    Support a few technologists in Washington.
    1. Re:IANAMP by Dan93 · · Score: 1

      I doubt he's insane. The lawsuits are funny ludicrous. Not crazy ludicrous. He sued a bridge for christsakes! Some of the money is of the amount that no government in the world has, and one would have to be stupid to believe they could actually get it.

    2. Re:IANAMP by bradkittenbrink · · Score: 1

      Insanity is not a medical criterion, it's a moral and legal one. The key is being capable of knowing the difference between right and wrong. Right and wrong are concepts fundamentally outside the mandate of medical science.

      see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Insanity#In_medicine

      If he's mentally ill then he certainly needs treatment. But that's actually an independent question from whether or not he's a moral agent who deserves to be held responsible for his actions (although one will often inform the other).

      I agree with you though that most US penal facilities do not have a good track record with such things though.

    3. Re:IANAMP by Delchanat · · Score: 1

      A pile of shit has a tendency to attract flies.

  18. Goodness Gracious, Great Gobs of Dough! by Jason+Levine · · Score: 3, Interesting

    Riches's imagination in making accusations is matched by his audacity in asking for damages. In the July 16 suit he demanded "211,429,399,000,000.00 trillion dollars backed by gold and silver, delivered by United States Postal Service."

    That's 211 septillion, 429 sextillion, 399 quintillion dollars. To compare, the world's GDP (as of 2006) was $65.95 trillion. So the guy wanted over 3.2 TRILLION percent of the world's GDP.

    On July 16, for instance, he filed a complaint alleging that the Mossad, the CIA and "Larry King Live" conspired to "hijack my torso, three toes, and my constitutional rights and ship them to a secret headquarters in Concord, NH," as well as inserted microchips and "dashing my hopes." He accuses Larry King of being "a voodoo witch doctor who stole my identity on February 25th, 2003 and purchased lead paint, Chips Ahoy!, Planter's Peanuts, and Ziploc bags under my identity. Distributed them to the CIA to microwave test my DNA."

    The guy's either a certified loon or someone trying to pass himself off as one. And these two small quotes are just two drops in the loony bucket. I hate to say it, but even Darl McBride's most fantastic quotes were closer to reality that this guy's quotes. Even though Darl didn't have anywhere near the evidence to back his claims, they were within the general realm of possibility. Larry King stealing this guy's identity to buy ziploc bags and passing them on to the CIA to "microwave test" his DNA? That makes Iraq's old Information Minister look like he was telling the complete truth.

    --
    My sci-fi novel, Ghost Thief, is now available from Amazon.com.
    1. Re:Goodness Gracious, Great Gobs of Dough! by tomhudson · · Score: 4, Informative

      Riches's imagination in making accusations is matched by his audacity in asking for damages. In the July 16 suit he demanded "211,429,399,000,000.00 trillion dollars backed by gold and silver, delivered by United States Postal Service."

      That's 211 septillion, 429 sextillion, 399 quintillion dollars. To compare, the world's GDP (as of 2006) was $65.95 trillion. So the guy wanted over 3.2 TRILLION percent of the world's GDP.

      And how is that crazier than the RIAA wanting $150,000.00 for each song "illegally shared" to compensate them for their "losses" - which also, using their figures for "song piracy", also works out to more than all the money in the world?

    2. Re:Goodness Gracious, Great Gobs of Dough! by bluefoxlucid · · Score: 2, Funny

      The guy's either a certified loon or someone trying to pass himself off as one.

      Honestly? His claims sound a lot like the religious tomes of Scientology.

      Maybe he's bored, or waiting for the mother ship?

      --
      Support my political activism on Patreon.
    3. Re:Goodness Gracious, Great Gobs of Dough! by Chris+Burke · · Score: 2, Funny

      That's 211 septillion, 429 sextillion, 399 quintillion dollars. To compare, the world's GDP (as of 2006) was $65.95 trillion. So the guy wanted over 3.2 TRILLION percent of the world's GDP.

      Geeze, why not just go all the way and ask for "infinity U.S. dollars, in non-sequential bills"

      --

      The enemies of Democracy are
    4. Re:Goodness Gracious, Great Gobs of Dough! by srmalloy · · Score: 1

      I just hope he and Teri Smith Tyler are never allowed together; the resultant concretion of raving lunacy might go supernova and destroy the Earth.

    5. Re:Goodness Gracious, Great Gobs of Dough! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Informative

      For the benefit of anyone who may have forgotten, Saddam's Information Minister ended up having to deny the presence of American tanks in Baghdad, to reporters who could turn their heads about 50 degrees and see the American tanks.

      I think db32 has nailed it, he's aiming for a padded cell 'cause it would be safer. Of course, ever getting out is another issue.

    6. Re:Goodness Gracious, Great Gobs of Dough! by jeffasselin · · Score: 1

      An infinite number of non-sequential bills? Doesn't that contradict the continuum hypothesis or something? :-)

      --
      If he explores all forms and substances Straight homeward to their symbol-essences; He shall not die.
    7. Re:Goodness Gracious, Great Gobs of Dough! by Chris+Burke · · Score: 1

      Well, I added it to try to add an extra level of crazy on top of asking for infinity dollars so I hadn't really thought of it. But I guess if you could do infinity dollars, that would actually be possible. 1... 3... 5... repeating to infinity would count for the sense of "non-sequential" I meant, and is still an infinite set.

      --

      The enemies of Democracy are
    8. Re:Goodness Gracious, Great Gobs of Dough! by ChrisA90278 · · Score: 1

      "Larry King stealing this guy's identity to buy ziploc bags and passing them on to the CIA to "microwave test" his DNA? "

      Maybe he's not so wacky.

      I read this as a kind of political performance art. He is making a statement that sails "Here is just one more law suit not un-like the millions you've seen before." And you know what? He's right. No so different really.

      Kind of like the guy barfs on a canvas and says it's "art". He is making a statement about how stupid and gullible some art critics and buyers are. Like "If you buy that I've got one just like it here."

    9. Re:Goodness Gracious, Great Gobs of Dough! by Jason+Levine · · Score: 1

      Actually, I think another poster hit the nail on the head. The guy's in a federal prison for 10 years. This whole campaign is to make him appear mentally ill so he can be transferred to a nice hospital where they will treat his "ailment" instead of him having to do hard time.

      --
      My sci-fi novel, Ghost Thief, is now available from Amazon.com.
    10. Re:Goodness Gracious, Great Gobs of Dough! by Jason+Levine · · Score: 1

      According to http://p2pnet.net/story/11575 , there are about one billion songs shared per day on P2P networks. If the RIAA demanded $150,000 for each song shared, that would come to $150 trillion per day, or $54,750 trillion dollars. This is just under the world's GDP and is much less than this guy's demands. Plus, the RIAA isn't demanding that entire figure from a single person/entity. So while the RIAA is still quite far from reality, they are still closer to it than this guy. I'm officially impressed, actually, it's not easy to beat SCO, the Iraqi Information Minister, and the RIAA in nutty claims. But this guy does it easily. Now he needs to get to work suing Wikipedia and the entire Internet for stealing his soul, posting it on Wikipedia.com and allowing people to edit it. ;-)

      --
      My sci-fi novel, Ghost Thief, is now available from Amazon.com.
    11. Re:Goodness Gracious, Great Gobs of Dough! by Jason+Levine · · Score: 1

      I was actually wondering if he was holding his pinky to his mouth, Dr. Evil style, while writing out his demands.

      "I want two hundred SEPT-ILLION dollars!"

      --
      My sci-fi novel, Ghost Thief, is now available from Amazon.com.
    12. Re:Goodness Gracious, Great Gobs of Dough! by nickrout · · Score: 1

      In New Zealand we have a procedure to have vexatious litigants declared as such, with the result that they may not issue proceedings (sue people) without leave of the High Court. Of course they still make applications for leave, but it does slow them down. Mind you we have a single national system of courts, and no state/federal structure, so its easier to have a system where this happens. I imagine in the US you probably have a constitutional right to bring vexatious suits.

    13. Re:Goodness Gracious, Great Gobs of Dough! by bradkittenbrink · · Score: 1

      That's 211 septillion, 429 sextillion, 399 quintillion dollars. To compare, the world's GDP (as of 2006) was $65.95 trillion. So the guy wanted over 3.2 TRILLION percent of the world's GDP.

      What? don't try to pretend like you don't...

    14. Re:Goodness Gracious, Great Gobs of Dough! by Chrisq · · Score: 1

      That makes Iraq's old Information Minister look like he was telling the complete truth.

      You saying he wasn't. In today's politically correct world that makes you a racist.

    15. Re:Goodness Gracious, Great Gobs of Dough! by the_other_chewey · · Score: 1

      Riches's imagination in making accusations is matched by his audacity in asking for damages. In the July 16 suit he demanded "211,429,399,000,000.00 trillion dollars backed by gold and silver, delivered by United States Postal Service."

      That's 211 septillion, 429 sextillion, 399 quintillion dollars. To compare, the world's GDP (as of 2006) was $65.95 trillion. So the guy wanted over 3.2 TRILLION percent of the world's GDP.

      Looking at it by another angle: At roughly 1,000USD per troy ounce of gold (Or 31,000 USD per kg), this makes (dropping lots of decimal places, just a rough estimate) around a tenth of our moon's mass. Or about 5*10^13 times all gold ever mined on Earth.

      Considering the density of gold, this would result in a sphere with a diameter of about 870km. Cool. (That's no moon, that's your opponent's payment...)

      I leave figuring out the postage for the delivery as an exercise to the reader ;-)

    16. Re:Goodness Gracious, Great Gobs of Dough! by Jason+Levine · · Score: 1

      Actually, there seems to be a law (if one of the linked to articles is correct) that would enable the courts to ban him from filing lawsuits (or at least require approval before filing) due to past frivolous lawsuits. The problem is that this guy is getting around the law by filing in different courts each time. He's exploiting a loophole to keep his ridiculous string of lawsuits going. This makes me think that he's a sane individual trying to act insane so that he'll get moved from federal prison to a cushy-by-comparison mental health ward.

      --
      My sci-fi novel, Ghost Thief, is now available from Amazon.com.
    17. Re:Goodness Gracious, Great Gobs of Dough! by toby · · Score: 1

      Larry King stealing this guy's identity to buy ziploc bags and passing them on to the CIA to "microwave test" his DNA

      Yep, that's in the ballpark of White House Press Secretary, alright.

      --
      you had me at #!
  19. It's insane, but with a system by Opportunist · · Score: 1

    He's shooting in hopes of hitting. It's insane claims, but he has faith in the justice system that he will eventually hit a judge that matches his insanity and rules in his favor.

    What? You don't think loonie judges exist? You have seen the copyright lawsuits and still question their existance?

    --
    We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
    1. Re:It's insane, but with a system by db32 · · Score: 2, Insightful

      I suspect you are right for the wrong reason. Serving 10 years in prison is what he is facing, for identity theft. Getting declared legally insane and shipped off for treatment I suspect would be a really nice way to get out of prison rape and the other joys of being incarcerated. I could be wrong, I don't know much about the guy, but somehow I suspect with his identity theft crimes and knowledge of law that he probably isn't a toughguy thug apt to make it through 10 years of prison without his asshole being stretched considerably.

      --
      The only change I can believe in is what I find in my couch cushions.
    2. Re:It's insane, but with a system by KGIII · · Score: 1

      *sighs* I can't/won't respond to you all with that thought process. The time it took to create the suits and submit them is quite a bit. He's due to be released in 2012 meaning he's been in jail for a long time now (10.5 years is his total bid.) At this point I can reasonably guess that he's not doing it in an attempt to get to a different facility. There are far easier ways to accomplish that including just asking and saying you are in fear of your life and then screaming madly about the ants trying to eat your soul.

      --
      "So long and thanks for all the fish."
  20. Theatre by krgallagher · · Score: 1

    The hand written motion is a nice touch, but it would have been better written on toilet paper.

    --

    Insert Generic Sig Here:

  21. Re:SCO isn't competent? Ya think? by AndGodSed · · Score: 1

    How About: "Oy."

    --

    Seven Days with Ubuntu Unity

  22. Magna Carta?!? by Maestro485 · · Score: 1

    If only he'd sued the Magna Carta for suspending of habeas corpus :(

  23. Re:To the submitter of this article by Arthur+Grumbine · · Score: 1

    Jonathan?! They let you have internet access in there?!

    --
    Now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure everything I just said is completely wrong.
  24. UnixWare rights? by Orion+Blastar · · Score: 1

    Even admitting to using or owning Unixware is like admitting to using or owning Windows ME. :)

    But anyway UnixWare used source code from open source products the same ones used in Linux. So trying to claim that Linux stole SCO Unix code by comparing source code between Linux and SCO Unix aka UnixWare you'll end up finding code that SCO used as Skunkware in their version of Unix that is source code from many open source projects that also became part of Linux distros as well. So all you prove is that Linux is based on open source products and that UnixWare is based on open source products as well. Meaning that the only ones with the right to sue are those who wrote the open source products on which Linux and UnixWare/ SCO Unix are based on, provided they violate the open source languages by not providing access to the source code, etc.

    --
    Remember, Slashdot does not have a -1 disagree moderation, and no, troll, flamebait, and overrated are not substitutes.
    1. Re:UnixWare rights? by KGIII · · Score: 1

      I actively used Windows ME and was pleased with the results. There were six of us who had just the right combination of hardware, black candles, and chickens. We loved it. A lot. I should make a comment about you being an insensitive clod but, meh... It's ME, it is okay.

      --
      "So long and thanks for all the fish."
    2. Re:UnixWare rights? by garwain · · Score: 1

      >Even admitting to using or owning Unixware is >like admitting to using or owning Windows ME. :) Come on, I own Windows ME. I gave someone a $30 rebate to recycle (strip the parts that still work, drop the case at the scrap dealers, and dead / usless parts at the local dump where they recycle electronics) I found the CD in the drive, and through it on my pile of cd's t that will probably never be found again let alone used...

    3. Re:UnixWare rights? by Dimitrii · · Score: 1

      I actively used Windows ME and was pleased with the results. There were six of us who had just the right combination of hardware, black candles, and chickens. We loved it. A lot.

      I didn't have candles or chickens... (Whatever you do in the privacy...) I kept a ME installation running until the death of the hardware several years into the XP era. There were quirks but nothing insurmountable.

    4. Re:UnixWare rights? by Orion+Blastar · · Score: 1

      Ah well, I'll bet you don't even have the CD-Key so it doesn't really count as owning or using Windows ME.

      --
      Remember, Slashdot does not have a -1 disagree moderation, and no, troll, flamebait, and overrated are not substitutes.
    5. Re:UnixWare rights? by Orion+Blastar · · Score: 1

      "Swear to Windows MEEEEEEEEEEE!" -Christian Bale as Batman

      --
      Remember, Slashdot does not have a -1 disagree moderation, and no, troll, flamebait, and overrated are not substitutes.
  25. If anyone wants to know.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    ... "pro se" means "for himself" in Latin, although, judging from this guy's record, I think "pars merdae" would be more appropriate. ;)

    jdb2

  26. Re:SCO isn't competent? Ya think? by omar.sahal · · Score: 1

    Plaintiff Jonathan Lee Riches sued Defendants Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Maddox Jolie Pitt, Zahara Jolie Pitt, Shiloh Jolie Pitt, and Pax Jolie Pitt. Plaintiff alleged that Defendants Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie kidnapped Madeleine McCann in a major conspiracy plot to adopt her against her will, as part of a secret plot to take, kidnap and adopt a child from each of the 192 world wide countries. Plaintiff stated that he learned about the plot from his pen pal Billy Bob Thorton.

    Loon or visionary

  27. Tag request by RockMFR · · Score: 2, Funny

    Please tag story "microwavetesting". Thanks.

  28. Hey, hey, not so fast... by ediron2 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Darl may be mentally ill, but I can't be the only one withholding judgement on his status as a member of the human race until someone pays for independent review.

    Of course, the very job of auditing Darl for evidence of humanity brings to mind the joke about lawyers v. labrats ('there are some things even a rat won't do').

    Oh, you meant the cellmate?... um, Nevermind... </emily>

  29. Re:SCO isn't competent? Ya think? by number11 · · Score: 4, Funny

    numerous judges have thrown his cases out, one referred to his case as 'farsical'

    Wow, this nut writes his cases in Persian?

  30. Daryl won by richmaine · · Score: 3, Insightful

    The difference between this guy and Daryl is that Daryl won. No, he didn't win the lawsuits, but that's a small detail. He walked away from it all a rich man. He won. With our legal system, it is quite easy to win a suit and come away having lost money big time. It is also possible to loose a suit, while getting rich in the process, although that's not so easy a trick to pull. Daryl managed. I'm not at all sure Daryl is stupid. Crooked - yes; stupid - not so clear at all.

    JLR, on the other hand, is in prison.

    1. Re:Daryl won by justleavealonemmmkay · · Score: 4, Funny

      I aym iyn fulyl agreemenyt wityh yoyu.

    2. Re:Daryl won by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Who's this Daryl person and what does he have to do with SCO?

    3. Re:Daryl won by dbIII · · Score: 1
      It helps a lot if you are channelling the majority of the companies worth into legal fees for your own brother. Personally I think it was an old fashioned two man scam on SCO with IBM, linux and share price manipulation as the distractions to confuse the board while they leeched all the money they could out of the place.

      Making clients sit through a spoof James Bond short film with Darl as the hero would in the past be seen as potential mental illness but it is now most likely just a symptom of furthur evolution of a clueless feudal management class without the benefit of adult supervision.

    4. Re:Daryl won by crimperman · · Score: 1

      It is also possible to loose a suit, while getting rich in the process, although that's not so easy a trick to pull.

      In the UK - if you "loose a suit" - your trousers fall down and you are unlikely to make too much money.

    5. Re:Daryl won by justleavealonemmmkay · · Score: 1

      anyd thayt iys reallyy unfaiyr !

  31. Um.. by inotocracy · · Score: 1

    ..SCO is still around? Good God.

  32. Re:SCO isn't competent? Ya think? by AeroIllini · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Are we sure he isn't also this guy?

    Ahh, the world would be a much more boring place without a few raving lunatics about.

    --
    For security, the MD5 hash of this message and sig is 09f911029d74e35bd84156c5635688c0.
  33. It's a little late... by evolvearth · · Score: 1

    Um, isn't it a little late for an April Fool's gag?

  34. 699 trillion trillion of AWESOME you mean by gelfling · · Score: 2, Funny

    Fucking Plato that rat bastid.

  35. Darl's next career by PPH · · Score: 2, Funny

    Playing the part of the Black Knight in Monty Python's Search for the Holy Grail.

    "None shall pass!"

    --
    Have gnu, will travel.
  36. Damnit by Monsuco · · Score: 1

    Now he's using the Chewbacca defense.

    --
    The Gospel according to lolcat
    1. Re:Damnit by plopez · · Score: 1

      Now he's suing the Chewbacca defense.

      There. Fixed that for you.

      --
      putting the 'B' in LGBTQ+
  37. Re:SCO isn't competent? Ya think? by loraksus · · Score: 1

    I wouldn't be surprised if he's not a loon, just incredibly bored. He's costing the legal system a fair bit of money and time, which is an admirable goal imho.

    --
    1q2w3e4r5t6y7u8i9o0pqawsedrftgthyjukilo;p'azsxdcfv gbhnjmk,l.;/
  38. Re:SCO isn't competent? Ya think? by KGIII · · Score: 1

    Loon. Definately a loon. But, well, am I the only one who's jealous because he's not been sued by him yet? I'm gonna write him a letter. (I kid you not, he seems like he could use a letter.)

    --
    "So long and thanks for all the fish."
  39. For get taking over the SCO case by Chrisq · · Score: 1

    ... this guy should run for President. Well if Bush did it....

  40. Popular enough to be on Wikipedia by ryanduff · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Hey, the guy has his own article on Wikipedia. Cut the guy some slack. How many of you are listed on Wikipedia??

    1. Re:Popular enough to be on Wikipedia by zakezuke · · Score: 1

      Hey, the guy has his own article on Wikipedia. Cut the guy some slack. How many of you are listed on Wikipedia??

      It's not a question of being popular, it's a question of whether there are any secondary sources siting you. The guy has been in a few newspapers, and poof there's a wiki entry.

      --
      There is no sanctuary. There is no sanctuary. SHUT UP! There is no shut up. There is no shut up.
  41. Re:SCO isn't competent? Ya think? by aproposofwhat · · Score: 1

    I'd not visited TimeCube for a few years, so I thought I'd follow your link.

    The guy's even more batshit insane than I rememebered!

    Thanks for the grin that site brought to my face :o)

    --
    One swallow does not a fellatrix make
  42. How did this not make TFA by quantumplacet · · Score: 3, Funny

    Really worth reading the Justia link in groklaw:
    http://news.justia.com/cases/jonathan-lee-riches/

    This might be my favorite

    Plaintiff sued the Jena 6 for "Loss of My White Rights" and sought $100 million in white gold and the White House. Plaintiff alleged that defendants hung a white noose in his cell at FCI Willaimsburg, told the FCI Williamsburg dentists not to fix his white fillings, fed him tainted White Castle hamburgers, turn his cell mate into Snow White, called him the white Suge Knight, burnt him with Great Whites pyrotechnics, made him suffer whiteouts, gave him white phosphorus, subjected him to low white blood cell counts, and that Vanna White won't write. Defendants also allegedly turned plaintiff into a white collar criminal and sent Whitehouse prosecutors after his white skin.

    This guy is definitely hilarious and not crazy.

    1. Re:How did this not make TFA by danzona · · Score: 1

      I'd never heard of him, but I followed your link and thought it was hilarious.

      I looked Jonathan Lee Riches up on Wikipedia, and while the entry is woefully inadequate for someone who has given so much to our judicial system, it did lead me to his suit claiming that O.J. is a hitman for Steve Jobs (amongst other things), which I found amusing.

      I'm tempted to set up the JonathanLeeRiches.com website and link all of his suits, but I'm pretty sure he would sue me.

  43. Re:SCO isn't competent? Ya think? by Tolkien · · Score: 1

    Careful, he'll sue you for cruelty to plants for having written on a piece of dead tree.

    Then he'll think you're trying to get inside his head.

    Make sure you eat any bags of Planters Peanuts you have in your house before you mail the letter!

    --
    how is babby formed?
  44. you shouldn't by toby · · Score: 1

    Thorazine is extremely destructive to the mind and body... Read Kate Millett's disturbing nightmare involving Thorazine when she was involuntarily committed - The Loony Bin Trip.

    --
    you had me at #!