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You, Too, Could Be Batman In 10 To 12 Years

Posted by kdawson on from the but-the-pay-is-lousy dept.

jmcbain tips a fascinating interview in Scientific American with a professor of kinesiology and neuroscience (and a 26-year practitioner of Chito-Ryu karate-do). The question was, how much training would it take for a normal person to become Batman? The professor says: "You could train somebody to be a tremendous athlete and to have a significant martial arts background, and also to use some of the gear that he has, which requires a lot of physical prowess... In terms of the physical skills to be able to defend himself against all these opponents all the time, I would benchmark that at 10 to 12 years." The problem is, even after that amount of training, no one could remain on top of their game for more than a few years. And "Batman can't really afford to lose. Losing means death — or at least not being able to be Batman anymore."

25 of 493 comments (clear)

  1. Glad I don't subscribe to Scientific American by mrbluze · · Score: 5, Funny

    The problem is, even after that amount of training, no one could remain on top of their game for more than a few years. And "Batman can't really afford to lose. Losing means death â" or at least not being able to be Batman anymore."

    So, after all that, we should all stick to our day-jobs? Thanks Slashdot, you saved us again!

    --
    Do it yourself, because no one else will do it yourself. [beta blockade 10-17 Feb]
  2. I'd go with the Charles Atlas method instead by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    It's only 90 days from being a weakling to stopping bullies from kicking sand in your face. Isn't that what most nerds here really seek?

  3. Bonk by usefulidiot127 · · Score: 5, Funny

    I've still yet to figure out how I can get things like "Bam, Pow, Biff, Boom" to pop out in the air when I hit people. I think that would require more training than anything else.

  4. Why spend all that time training by DeltaStorm · · Score: 4, Funny

    when you can just get hit in the head.

    --
    .sdrawkcab si gis siht
  5. Re:Where do we sign up? by bsDaemon · · Score: 5, Funny

    Well, given the size and scope of Bruce Wayne's awesome shit, I'd say quite well.

    That, or its being a self-loathing billionaire industrialist that pays out.

    Frankly, its probably not even in the scope of most slashdotters to end up being ATHF's Meatwad... after all, Meatwad makes the money, see; Meatwad gets the honeys, G...

    and we don't :(

  6. I prefer some 'Real' expert opinions by burtosis · · Score: 5, Funny

    And am awaiting the panel at Comic-Con.

  7. Re:Then we'd need to train a bunch of people... by digitalhermit · · Score: 5, Funny

    That would be an insane morale buster for the bad guys. Say you knife the Batman -- actually see your knife tear into his guts -- but he shoots his BatRope and BatDisappears for ten minutes. When he comes back he's replaced and as strong as ever, but you don't know that. All you know is that the Batman can't be killed. Maybe he's an immortal?? Maybe he's a demon?? It would be like one of those bunker busters that just completely deflate the enemy..

  8. Re:Then we'd need to train a bunch of people... by Mechanik · · Score: 5, Funny

    and replace them as they 'fail' ... that way we've always got a batman.

    I am not the real Batman. My name is Ryan; I inherited the Batmobile from the previous Batman, just as you will inherit it from me. The man I inherited it from is not the real Batman either. His name was Cummerbund. The real Batman has been retired 15 years and living like a king in Patagonia.

  9. I can see it now..... by mr_nazgul · · Score: 5, Funny

    The Batman workout video collection...

    How much will you pay for this?

    900$?

    NO!

    500$?

    NO!

    For a limited time, just two easy payments of one parent!

    --
    Good.. Bad.. I'm the guy with the gun.
  10. Re:Then we'd need to train a bunch of people... by nospam007 · · Score: 5, Funny

    >I am not the real Batman. My name is Ryan; I inherited the Batmobile from the previous Batman, just as you will inherit it from me. The man I inherited it from is not the real Batman either. His name was Cummerbund. The real Batman has been retired 15 years and living like a king in Patagonia.

    Inconceivable!

  11. Fuck that. by GungaDan · · Score: 5, Funny

    Hang out in the YMCA locker room and you can be Robin in under 5 minutes.

    --
    Eloi are stupid, throw morlocks at them!
  12. Re:Then we'd need to train a bunch of people... by Siridar · · Score: 5, Funny

    You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

  13. Re:Where do we sign up? by nomadic · · Score: 5, Funny

    My high school girlfriend was a runner-up and spirit award winner for Miss Teen VA when we were 16

    Alright, that does not add to the conversation. You're just using this opportunity to gloat.

  14. RAIB?! by morgan_greywolf · · Score: 5, Funny

    Would that be a RAIB?

    Redundant Array of Interchangeable Batmen?

    or more like a High Available Batcluster?

    --
    My blog
    1. Re:RAIB?! by Daniel+Dvorkin · · Score: 4, Funny

      Killing Grendel, then taking out the Joker ... I don't think the words exist to convey exactly how badass a Beowulf cluster of Batmans (Batmen?) would be.

      --
      The correlation between ignorance of statistics and using "correlation is not causation" as an argument is close to 1.
  15. Re:People we can get but the real question is... by montyzooooma · · Score: 4, Funny

    http://www.toysrus.com/

  16. Re:Then we'd need to train a bunch of people... by itsthebin · · Score: 3, Funny

    it makes us wish he was not conceived

    --
    ...I obey the laws of physics....
  17. I'm already a superhero! by i_want_you_to_throw_ · · Score: 5, Funny

    I was bitten by a radio active sloth and now I can do the laying around of TEN men!

  18. Re:Then we'd need to train a bunch of people... by EricTheMad · · Score: 5, Funny

    The Dread Pirate Batman?

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    -- Remember, we're not happy until you're not happy. -- Local FAA Inspector --
  19. Re:How many years for the morals? by CopaceticOpus · · Score: 5, Funny

    Isn't that because they keep all the super-villians locked up, and then release one at a time randomly for Batman to fight? That's how it seems to work. The real trouble in Gotham is that doctor at the psych ward who keeps saying things like, "Yeah, I think the Joker is rehabilitated now." Batman should just fight that guy.

  20. That's So Starfire by tepples · · Score: 3, Funny

    Hiro used to feel this way, too, but then he ran into Raven.

    You mean Raven from That's So Starfire?

  21. Re:Then we'd need to train a bunch of people... by ThomsonsPier · · Score: 4, Funny

    Don't be so Batronising.

  22. Re:Then we'd need to train a bunch of people... by sconeu · · Score: 3, Funny

    the next step would be to adopt an official royal uniform that again hid the face and body

    It's been done.

    --
    General Relativity: Space-time tells matter where to go; Matter tells space-time what shape to be.
  23. Re:Where do we sign up? by nomadic · · Score: 3, Funny

    "I wish I were your derivative so that I could lay tangent to your curves" that fail.

    But that's my best line!

  24. Re:Then we'd need to train a bunch of people... by operagost · · Score: 5, Funny

    Never get involved in a flamewar on Slashdot, or never go in against a Troll when your Karma is on the line?

    --

    Gamingmuseum.com: Give your 3D accelerator a rest.