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Real-World 3G Monthly Cost With Taxes and Fees?
Kristl writes "I have called AT&T and walked into several AT&T stores to ask 'How much will an AT&T phone plan cost per month with taxes and fees and everything?'. No one can answer this question. They are evasive and become testy when I push them on it. Their answer is they can't tell me what the government is going to charge me as the fees can vary month to month, but I've been an AT&T customer for several years, and my taxes and fees have not varied more than a dollar in all of that time.
So I question them: 'Can you just tell me what the taxes and fees will be for a 3G plan in California that has the basic calling plan, basic data plan, and the basic text plan?' I even do the math for them, that's $75. Okay AT&T, what are the taxes and fees on $75? Oh, they can't tell me that, as the taxes and fees can vary from month to month." There's more to this justified rant (below); real-world numbers in comments could help answer the questions that cell carriers seem content to sidestep as completely as possible.
"Okay ATT, can you tell me what the taxes and fees were on $75 plan last month? No.
Okay AT&T, cn you tell me what my taxes and fees were last month on my current $40 plan ... that only requires reading my bill right? Oh good! They can read! Yes they can tell me what the taxes and fees were on my $40 account last month.
Okay AT&T, we have progress ... can you now pull up a plan that has a $40 calling plan, a $30 3G data plan, and a $5 text plan? The answer? No, they can't do that, that would be an invasion of privacy.
So I ask, can they go through the motions of setting my account up for the iphone plan I described above and then tell me what the taxes and fees amount to? Oh, of course not!
This doesn't seem like it should be so hard. What is the conspiracy that ATT refuses to tell me what the my bill would cost per month were I to switch to a new plan?"
Okay AT&T, cn you tell me what my taxes and fees were last month on my current $40 plan ... that only requires reading my bill right? Oh good! They can read! Yes they can tell me what the taxes and fees were on my $40 account last month.
Okay AT&T, we have progress ... can you now pull up a plan that has a $40 calling plan, a $30 3G data plan, and a $5 text plan? The answer? No, they can't do that, that would be an invasion of privacy.
So I ask, can they go through the motions of setting my account up for the iphone plan I described above and then tell me what the taxes and fees amount to? Oh, of course not!
This doesn't seem like it should be so hard. What is the conspiracy that ATT refuses to tell me what the my bill would cost per month were I to switch to a new plan?"
Wiretaping and DPI are expensive.
...this was a problem well before Steve ever even thought of the iPhone.
What? Did the universe even exist back then?
Probably because it's too complicated to figure just off the top of their heads, or because they haven't determined your alignment and class.
According to the 4th ed. FC&C Salesmaster's Manual, the taxes on a $40 calling plan is 2d10+2 percent for all classes and alignments of customer.
However, the rules get tricky when adding the data and text plans. If you add those and the customer is any Lawful alignment, or your class is Apple Cultist, the monthly fees and taxes are a d20+30 per month.
If you're Neutral, sales should charge 2d10+2 percent of the total purchase in fees, plus a flat setup fee of 3d20, and whatever the local tax rate is (see Table 13-4.7, "Telecommunication Tax Rates of Municipalities, Provinces, Kingdoms, Shires and Deities").
If your alignment is Chaotic, or you have the Late Bills or Frequent Support Caller flaws, or your class is Go Phoner, your fees are (3d20)d20+(d20)d6, plus (2d20)d20 percent taxes, plus 2d6 in franchise fees, plus 3d20+d6 setup.
If you're identified as Chaotic Hard-to-Please alignment, the Salesmaster may simply escalate fees and taxes and make up complex usage rules (2Gb bandwidth cap except on Fridays and the alternating days of the third week of every fourth month, when it's 256k, for example) until the customer gives up.
However, if sales can't determine your alignment or class - if you're a new customer, for example, or your billing and prior plan history isn't available -Âthey will probably refuse to answer your questions. If a customer immediately submits, they get Apple Cultist treatment. If a customer questions the refusal but eventually submits, they get Chaotic treatment.
If a customer is an insistent questioner, the Salesmaster considers the player in combat and gives the player d6-2 rounds to flee before calling security (see U.S. Government's "Monster and Enforcement Officer Bestiary," table 2.1-1, "Rented Muscle").
Don't fucking buy it. Take your money elsewhere.
Can I do that with my income taxes too?
An invasion of privacy? Oh puleeeez. May you should ask the NSA who is tapped into your phone. They'll tell you everything about your "plan" with your own tax money.
Most of the stuff on
according to my calculations, its 42.
Do you wish to pay your monthly AT&T subscription in:
- American dollars
- Zimbabwean dollars
- Loaves of bread
If you quote this signature there'll be 72 copies of Windows ME waiting for you in Heaven.
whenever I call T-mobile their reps seem to be 20-something flirty females. ... it seems like they'll do anything to get you to stay
Holy shit do I have the wrong carrier
$80 is nowhere near "about $100".
Sure it is, it's about 80% of the way there.
The effect of forgetting to switch accounts when shilling your own posts can be described only as halfway between creepy and amusing.
Doesn't matter why. You swallow their sh*t and are still their customer.
NEXT!
.
Yes, but it was a dark and formless void. Shapes moved there that were called phones, but were not true phones, since they did not come from the mind of Steve.
And thus it came to pass that Steve brought forth the iPhone, and there was much rejoicing amongst the faithful, who gathered in long lines to receive the blessing. And it was good.
But doubt crept into weak minds, and some questioned the benificence of Steve. The blessing was hacked and despoiled, And Steve heard of this and was wroth, and lo! He sent forth His firmware updates in a storm of righteousness, and many were bricked, and there was gnashing of teeth and rending of t-shirts. Thus is the vengeance of Steve.
Ever merciful and benificent is Steve, and to reward those who follow him without question, he brought forth the iPhone 3G, to bless the faithful and redeem the unfaithful, and there was much rejoicing.
But still there is doubt amongst the weak and confused, who see but who do not believe. Do not give them bread or salt, or allow them to plug in their chargers, for they are unworthy.
Soylent Green is peoplicious!
Point taken. I have no trouble admitting when I'm wrong :)
Time to take a look at my bill!