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Smilin' Bob Not Smilin' Anymore
Consumerist reports an Associated Press release that Steve Warshak, 42, was found guilty of 93 counts of conspiracy, fraud and money laundering. His 75-year-old mother, who has cancer, was found guilty of conspiracy and other charges, and was sentenced to 2-years, but is free pending appeal. US District Judge Arthur Spiegel, in Cincinnati, OH, denied Mr. Warshak's request to remain free pending appeal, but gave him 30 days to wrap up his affairs and report to prison. Besides Enzyte, Washak's company, Berkeley Premium Nutraceuticals, who also distributes products to boost energy, manage weight, reduce memory loss and aid sleep, will be allowed to stay in business — but must forfeit $500 million. Among their most egregious offenses was a requirement of a Notarized statement from a doctor certifying that they had a small penis. Amazingly, remarkably few customers availed themselves of the refund offer. Unfortunately, it looks like the commercials will still be able to continue...
How do people suspend their critical thinking enough to believe these things? Snake oil has been around forever, it looks like it's not going away any time soon.
Perhaps his enzyte-enlarged member will make him the big man in prison.
I'm sure he can't wait to meet some of his satisfied customers in prison. Except now, he'll be the one notifying his doctor about erections lasting longer than 4 hours.
So he has to go to prison, and his 75 y/o mom stays free? Screw that! put her wrinkly ass in the pen too.
She had pleaded with the judge not to send her to prison. "I have grandchildren," she said. "The time I have left, I'd like to spend with them. I don't think it's fair to take me away from them."
I don't understand how it matters that she has grandchildren or how old she may be. She was convicted of fraud and other crimes, so the law she punish her the same.
Anything and Everything about the Net
For as long as there's been culture, there's always been con men. It's always a sensitive balance for a society to decide how much fraud to allow to go on, and what to call fraud. From countless iterations of fortune tellers, to confidence schemes, to games of chance, to plain old commercial advertising, there have always been the grey areas where the clever can take from the gullible, but find ways to avoid the usual punishments for theft or fraud.
Most societies find ways to prevent too much subjective productivity from being lost to these schemes, but sometimes more than just public awareness is needed to counter the effects of such large scale con jobs. In the 1950's, there were bunco squads, or sections of the police force organized to find common fraud, such as fortune tellers, rigged games, confidence swindles, and the like. I think we could use more of those today - law enforcement devoted to tracking down leads on swindlers for the public interest. Skeptical communities and movements are nice - but very few people are really interested in learning how scams work before they're fooled by them, and it seems there's always a multiplying number of desperate swindlers looking to fool more folks out of money while hiding from consequences.
Ryan Fenton
No parole. Maybe 20 years with time off for "good behavior".
This guy got more prison time than Jeff Skilling of Enron fame. And Enron's collapse cost a lot of people some serious coin.
Great guy, heard some really hilarious stories about the company...grandma winning employee of the month on numerous occasions. Groups of employees taking product at work just for "fun". He told me his uncle said they sell confidence in a bottle and nothing more! The dood always had plenty of money and never went to class, but 500 million...damn!
Well, that is partially true, but a lot of those are borderline scams too. Or, as marketing likes to call it, "creative puffering."
What I don't understand, though, is the insecurity about being within the normal parameters for your species. Let's face it, the human species just doesn't have the DNA for huge penises, nor a vagina design which would require one. Unless you were planning to fuck a mare, I guess. Last I've heard most women find over 7-8 inches outright uncomfortable. And most of the nerve endings are on the outside and first third of the vagina, so basically, if there was a modification to keep her happier, it would be girth, rather than length.
Even most of the male porn stars with huge "tools", had surgery to that end.
So, seriously, it seems to me just about as stupid as if, I dunno, I were to get upset because I don't have feet as big as the clowns. It wouldn't be an improvement to walk, but, boy, I wanna be above average. I wanna be like those clowns too. 'Cause you know what they say about men with big feet. (They need big shoes ;)
I mean, seriously, when and how did the penis size obsession get started anyway? (Including all the stupidities that serve as substitute penis size symbols.) Did marketing just manage to make half the male population insecure and unhappy about being normal human beings? And we still think that marketing is a _good_ thing then?
That said, I find it ironic, but nevertheless a good lesson in that this company required a doctor's affidavit that you have a small penis, to get your money back. Because unless someone was well below the normal size for a human, they didn't need to have it extended in the first place. I would have required a notarized declaration along the lines of "yes, I'm an idiot and insecure about being a normal human", but I guess their version is good too.
A polar bear is a cartesian bear after a coordinate transform.
"Sorry, but do to a supply chain issue, we can not fulfill your order. Here's your refund, courtesy of The Anal Sex and Fetish Perversion Company."
That's an amazingly long time in prison for scamming people. He would have got less if he sold legitimate drugs that occasionally killed people.
No wonder American prisons are overflowing. Why not make him empty bedpans in retirement homes or some other yucky community service for a few years instead?
Great Windows SFTP Server!