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Microsoft To Announce Jerry Seinfeld Ads Cancelled

An anonymous reader writes "Valleywag says the Jerry Seinfeld ads are over — In a phone call, Frank Shaw confirms that Microsoft is not going on with Seinfeld, and echoes his underlings' spin that the move was planned. There is the 'potential to do other things' with Seinfeld, which Shaw says is still 'possible.' He adds: 'People would have been happier if everyone loved the ads, but this was not unexpected.'"

41 of 587 comments (clear)

  1. Penny Arcade called it by QuantumG · · Score: 5, Funny
    --
    How we know is more important than what we know.
    1. Re:Penny Arcade called it by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

      They fucked up, now if I were in charge Bill would have been facing off against the Soup Nazi. Then they could have introduced Ballmer as Bill's heavy. "Ballmer want soup! You give Ballmer soup! Oook ook." Ballmer slowly swivels his head to look semi-intelligently at Jerry and Bill, "Seinfeld want soup! Mr developer guy, he want soup too, you give us soup!"

      The Soup Nazi yells "Next!" Ballmer picks up a chair ... (well you knew it was coming).

    2. Re:Penny Arcade called it by Pippinjack · · Score: 5, Funny

      That's a great idea, I'm with you...

      --
      hear all, see all, say nowt; eat all, supp all, pay nowt; and if tha ever does owt for nowt - do it for thissen
    3. Re:Penny Arcade called it by camperdave · · Score: 2, Funny

      Perhaps Microsoft should stop hiring yes-men for those committees

      Yes, Sir! Stop hiring yes-men for commercial committees. Yes, sir. Consider it done, sir.

      --
      When our name is on the back of your car, we're behind you all the way!
    4. Re:Penny Arcade called it by Number6.2 · · Score: 4, Funny

      Kinda makes you wish the CEO's of the world would take the Evil Overlord Checklist to heart, especially the part of having all plans spot checked by a 5 year old child.

      BILL: Timmy, is this funny?

      TIMMY: This sucks! Can I watch Power Rangers now?

      BILL: Sure, Timmy. Alice, get me Mr. Seinfeld's agent on the phone...

      --
      "If god did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him" --Voltaire
    5. Re:Penny Arcade called it by Aphoxema · · Score: 3, Funny

      3. New Slurm didn't work out so well so we'll market old Slurm as Slurm Classic and we'll make billions!

      --
      "Most people, I think, don't even know what a rootkit is, so why should they care about it?"
    6. Re:Penny Arcade called it by Aphoxema · · Score: 2, Funny

      They fucked up, now if I were in charge Bill would have been facing off against the Soup Nazi. Then they could have introduced Ballmer as Bill's heavy. "Ballmer want soup! You give Ballmer soup! Oook ook." Ballmer slowly swivels his head to look semi-intelligently at Jerry and Bill, "Seinfeld want soup! Mr developer guy, he want soup too, you give us soup!"

      The Soup Nazi yells "Next!" Ballmer picks up a chair ... (well you knew it was coming).

      Shit, I'm already getting my wallet to go pick up a copy of Office 2007 now...

      --
      "Most people, I think, don't even know what a rootkit is, so why should they care about it?"
    7. Re:Penny Arcade called it by CWRUisTakingMyMoney · · Score: 4, Funny

      what raging idiot at Microsoft green lighted this ad campaign?

      DEVELOPERS! DEVELOPERS! DEVELOPERS! DEVELOPERS!

      --
      Those who anthropomorphize science and/or nature already believe in an intelligent designer.
    8. Re:Penny Arcade called it by badboy_tw2002 · · Score: 2, Funny

      See, that's why Sienfeld was never funny - they should have followed the patented slashdot humor method:

      1. State joke
      2. Repeat joke 4 million times
      3. ???
      4. Funny!

    9. Re:Penny Arcade called it by caluml · · Score: 5, Funny

      That's not funny.

    10. Re:Penny Arcade called it by Gilmoure · · Score: 3, Funny

      I wish Drew Barrymore was an emperor.

      --
      I drank what? -- Socrates
  2. Just as I was getting into it! by PinkyDead · · Score: 5, Funny

    Problem was that the sexual tension between those two guys was too intense - it would never have ended well.

    --
    Genesis 1:32 And God typed :wq!
    1. Re:Just as I was getting into it! by Alex+Belits · · Score: 2, Funny

      If someone could see the sexual tension in that, there would be fanfiction about it.

      Just imagine -- yaoi-fangirl of those two. Kill it with fire. Kill it with fire!

      For comparison -- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLiyglcRcCA

      References:

      1. http://touhou.wikia.com/wiki/Sakuya_Izayoi
      2. http://touhou.wikia.com/wiki/Hong_Meirin
      3. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qbArvIqZzkI

      --
      Contrary to the popular belief, there indeed is no God.
    2. Re:Just as I was getting into it! by muftak · · Score: 2, Funny

      rule 34!

    3. Re:Just as I was getting into it! by ozmanjusri · · Score: 4, Funny
      If someone could see the sexual tension in that, there would be fanfiction about it.

      Scariest application of Rule 34 ever.

      Until Ballmer gets involved...

      --
      "I've got more toys than Teruhisa Kitahara."
  3. Microsoft's New Ads Revealed! by CuteSteveJobs · · Score: 5, Funny

    FADE IN

    A Chair

    VOICEOVER: Vista. Use it. Or Else.

    FADE TO BLACK

  4. We win, you lose! by FornaxChemica · · Score: 5, Funny

    "We made these ads because we knew you wouldn't like them. Yes, it was all planned. We made them so we could pull them. Now Vista's sales are not going to improve in any way. This is also planned. It's all part of a very clever plot in which we look like a bunch of idiots wasting time and money. Amazing! Fantastic! This is why we're number 1."

    1. Re:We win, you lose! by Linker3000 · · Score: 5, Funny

      Surely Microsoft will just push for all marketing agencies to use Seinfeld in *ALL* TV ads so 'their way' becomes the defacto standard.
         

      --
      AT&ROFLMAO
  5. Made sense to me .. by Layth · · Score: 5, Funny

    It was an advertisement about nothing.
    Haven't you guys ever seen an episode of Seinfeld?

  6. Re:Sadly expected by ZarathustraDK · · Score: 5, Funny

    Rather re-invent the joke.

    Person: "Then I forced the ethernet-cable in the slot, rebooted while tearing out my nosehairs and slapping my dick at the computer in a vain attempt to feel superior...(5 minutes later)...then I did a defragmentation of the hard-drive but the damn things IS STILL TOO DAMN SLOW!".

    Talent-agent: " What do you call that?"

    Person: "The Vistacrats".

    --
    If you quote this signature there'll be 72 copies of Windows ME waiting for you in Heaven.
  7. Re:Gates and Seinfeld.... by CrackedButter · · Score: 5, Funny

    Hands up if you saw the word 'clit' first, rather than 'cult'. I have thought with all the stories about scientology on slashdot my subconscious would let me see the second word first.

  8. Re:Gates and Seinfeld.... by blind+biker · · Score: 2, Funny

    it is just an exercise of the cilt

    You know, at first I misread that and was extremely amused.

    --
    "The agriculture ministry is not in charge of Gundam" - Japanese ministry official.
  9. The announcement shoulda said... by clickety6 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Microsoft says Vista is over â" In a phone call, Steve Ballmer, confirms that Microsoft is not going on with Vista, and echoes his underlings' spin that the move was planned. There is the "potential to do other things" with Windows, which Ballmer says is still "possible." He adds: "People would have been happier if everyone loved Vista, but this was not unexpected.""

    --
    ----------------------------------- My Other Sig Is Hilarious -----------------------------------
  10. Re:The ads weren't that great. by AngryNick · · Score: 5, Funny

    Like the OS, the ad I saw was bloated with themes and disconnected ideas that never seemed to come together to be anything amazing. Maybe there was going to be an SP1 for the ad that was going to explain it all?

  11. Re:George Orwell and Grammar! by chthon · · Score: 3, Funny

    Pitr, stop teasing the botnets!!

  12. Re:The ads were perfect for Vista by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Ah, so you agree, it is much better than Vista.


    (Damn Ubuntu fan boys always pointing out how much better they have it;-)

  13. Re:I enjoyed them! by JasterBobaMereel · · Score: 2, Funny

    Fairly amusing and quite a good advert for Seinfeld... what do you mean they were an advert for Microsoft?!

     

    --
    Puteulanus fenestra mortis
  14. Re:Fail by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Vista was designed for five-nines reliability, but due to a specification error the decimal point was shifted.

  15. Seinfeld plays opposite losers by Kupfernigk · · Score: 4, Funny
    Seinfeld is an actor who built his reputation on a sitcom in which the other characters were, for the most part, losers. He then appears in an advert intended to remind people of this sitcom, in which the other character is William Gates III.

    The symbolism seems sufficiently obvious. But it leaves me with a major set of questions. How did Steve Jobs manage to bribe the ad agency to come up with the idea? How did they manage to get Microsoft to fall for it? Does the Jobs reality distortion field really extend that far?

    I guess, since a lot of creative ad people are still Mac fanboys, the first part might have been easy. But the second part must have been the pitch from hell. Perhaps it only worked because the Gates mansion is so vast that Gates has never found the TV room and so never seen the programme.

    --
    From scarped cliff or quarried stone she cries "A thousand types are gone, I care for nothing, no not one."
  16. Me too by MarkByers · · Score: 4, Funny

    I saw them too and I enjoyed them. Now give me some karma as well.

    --
    I'll probably be modded down for this...
  17. Re:People would have been happier? by Lumpy · · Score: 5, Funny

    I tell them the secret meaning...

    "Bill gates is so rich that he's simply showing off to the world that he pays Jerry to hang with him. It's basically a giant hey America you suck sign, as he rubs in your face that you are forced to give him money and there is nothing you can do about it.

    He's goading you at the fact you dont have a choice and are forced to pay him money and you cant do anythign about it."

    They usually stand their open mouthed and then say.... "you're right! you cant buy a pc without windows! OMG! OMG!!" and they run off to tell others.

    I love their new advertising arm. they help me screw with people daily.

    --
    Do not look at laser with remaining good eye.
  18. Re:I enjoyed them! by Lumpy · · Score: 2, Funny

    you're just waiting for the next one where they walk around a corner and bump into a guy in a giant penguin suit.

    Jerry and bill stand back staring as the penguin turns around and all you see is a closeup of Jerry's face....

    NEWMAN!

    black screen... Why hello jerry....

    --
    Do not look at laser with remaining good eye.
  19. Re:George Orwell and Grammar! by bentcd · · Score: 2, Funny

    Are you the kind of person who says "I feel badly?" Go ahead. Admit it. You are.

    I have a badly feeling about the way this is goingly.

    --
    sigs are hazardous to your health
  20. Re:People would have been happier? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    "Hey,did you see that Seinfeld commercial with that computer guy?" 'Bill Gates and yeah,what about it?' "Well,what does it mean?"

    at which point I hand them a churro and tell them:
    "I know it doesn't make sense now, but as soon as you finish it, you'll fell right as rain."

    We've been selling a lot of churros.

  21. people would love the ads by nimbius · · Score: 5, Funny

    if they were discordian. penny hits the nail on the head. i have no idea what shoe squishing, churro munching jerry seinfeld is trying to sell, or for that matter what bill "wiggle-ass" gates has on the horizon besides hip displacia and a completely unrealistic scenario of him being spotted in the local mall by a million dollar celebrity.

    --
    Good people go to bed earlier.
  22. Give me a sign if you think this ad is crap by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    (Bill shakes his ass)

  23. Re:People would have been happier? by Sancho · · Score: 5, Funny

    Truly, the Seinfeld ads were the MS Bob of marketing.

  24. Re:Gates and Seinfeld.... by D+Ninja · · Score: 2, Funny

    Dude. We're talking about Bill Gates here...

    Oog.

  25. Apple's response... by oahazmatt · · Score: 5, Funny

    I can see Apple's response to this admission of failure, now.

    Mac: Hello, I'm a Mac.
    PC: An I'm a PC.
    Mac: What's wrong PC you look a little down?
    PC: Well, Mac's got this slick advertising campaign-thing going, so...
    Mac: You mean like how the benefits and ease of using a Mac is explained in contrast to the competition?
    PC: Yeah, and--
    Mac: And your new ads don't represent any of that?
    PC: Well, yeah, but--
    Mac: In fact, the only thing your ads really did have was a shoe-squeezing, churro-munching, butt-wiggling figurehead and a worn-out comedy act that's staler than month old toast.
    PC: Well, it's not all bad. It got people talking--
    Mac: Yeah, "WTF" maybe, that's not good talking.
    PC: But, those ads did do wonders to show off the capabilities of the Mac, y'know?
    Mac: Wait, what?
    PC: Yeah, the ad agency uses Macs for all of their productions.
    Mac: Gimme a break.
    PC: I will not. I'll have you know the entire campaign was done in iMovie.
    Mac: That's bull--
    PC: Oh yeah. That horrible ad campaign? We wouldn't have been able to get it done without the ease of use of a brand new iMac. I guess it's really your fault.
    Mac: Oh jesus--
    PC: Do you feel it, Mac? The darkness wriggling inside of you?
    Mac: I'm gonna be sick--
    PC: This is your fault, Mac!
    *Mac doubles-over and throws up on the floor.*
    PC: Yeah, that's it. Now bend over and take your Vista install like a good little--

    The future. Deceitful.

    --
    Those who believe the Internet is private,
    find their privates are on the Internet.
  26. So, "getting people talking" isn't success? by merreborn · · Score: 2, Funny

    Guess that settles it. The defenders of these ads kept claiming "If the ad itself is being talked about, then it has been successful". (and apparently a few moderators agreed)

    Apparently the people paying the bills don't agree. Getting slashdot to talk about Jerry Seinfeld isn't worth hundreds of thousands of dollars after all. Who knew?

  27. Firings! by aaronfaby · · Score: 2, Funny

    I really hope someone got the axe for coming up with such an awful commercial and wasting all that money.