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Man Robs Convenience Stores With Klingon "Batleth"
mnovotny writes "Colorado Springs police are looking for a man who hit two 7-Eleven convenience stores, armed with a Klingon 'Batleth' sword inspired by the Star Trek science fiction series.
They did appear more human in the original series."
only outlaws will have batleths...
He should be stripped of his land and titles.
is one of the Rites of Ascension. While it is inevitable that a boy becomes a man, what is not inevitable is whether a man becomes a warrior. That is, until he robs a 7-eleven.
It's not a "Batleth", it's a "Bat'leth". Without the apostrophe it just looks ridiculous.
Spelling mistakes, grammatical errors, and stupid comments are intentional.
Yes, we must ban replica weapons that are only made for killing large numbers of people! Protect the children!
These "assault swords" have features like extra cutting edges, and allow the evil person using one to swing it in both directions, thereby killing more people.
The user's hands are placed a little differently than on traditional swords, meaning the user can swing with more power and hit more people at once.
They're made of cheap metal, which is more dangerous than regular steel because it's more powerful and stronger than a real sword!
And they have engravings in an unknown foreign terrorist language, which tells the user how to be deadly assassin. And there's obviously no need for engraving on a sword.
And obviously, if we ban them, they'll all magically go away, because we know that criminals who like to commit acts of violence will be scared of the law that bans their swords. Nobody will ever make one themselves, or sneak one in through the black market, and there are no legitimate uses (such as movie props and reenactments) for these weapons.
The meek may inherit the earth, but the strong shall take the stars.
We can start with the delightful observation that both clerks (Clerks?) recognised it as a Bat'Leth, and better, that the second one had the nuts to tell this honourless p'tak to go screw a goat. Even Star Trek nerds aren't afraid of other Star Trek nerds.
If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
...and I never will. I can never forgive them...for robbing my 7-11.
1 (short ton / firkin) = 89.1432354 slugs / keg
I wonder if the investigating police showed up in Enterprise Uniforms. 'This is highly illogical, Leutenant'
This is my sig. There are many like it but this one is mine.
WWAKD (What Would A Klingon Do?)
Rob a 7-11, apparently. How else does a warrior fund a Bird of Prey in this economy?
"Who modded this informative? Whoever it is must've been smokin' some of that martian pot!"
Yeah, it's just a shame neither of the clerks were in red shirts!
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it seems that the two clerks were big enough nerds to identify the weapon as a Batleth!
Unfortunately it seems that the robber was masked so they weren't able to tell if he was a swarmy Klingon.
Some great writing in the story: "The clerk did not give him any money and the suspect transported himself out of the store"
So the suspect ummm.. "left" the store? Oh wait... "transported himself", dude got beamed up!
Does it seem surreal to anyone else that, according to the article, both clerks recognized what a Bat'leth was? Colorado Springs: where Trek nerds control all the local convenience stores. For best results, RTFA while listening to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XyhhFzE5O5U
Gamertag: WyleType
Randall: Worse than getting robbed by some f'n Star Trek geek?
Dante: I'm not even supposed to be here today!
Prisencolinensinainciusol. Ol Rait!
Yeah, it's just a shame neither of the clerks were in red shirts!
If they had been the headline would be: Man Commits Murder With Klingon Bat'Leth
I want peace on earth and goodwill toward man.
We are the United States Government! We don't do that sort of thing.
I was hoping to make a big impact when I start robbing stores with my lightsaber, but it looks like some trekkies stole my thunder.
Yeah, but there are no awesome Office Space quotes that involve county jail!
You are using English. Please learn the difference between loose and lose; they're, there, and their; your and you're.
will he be considered and "Ex-KAHN!"?
Sig Follows: "Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself." -- Mark Twain
When asked if he had a smooth or ridged forehead, they refused to comment.
This space for rent. All reasonable inquiries will be entertained at proprietors discretion.
Turn in your geek card and spell it correctly!
And your mother has a smooth forehead!
$> man woman $> Segmentation fault. (Core dumped)
I'm glad you linked to Michael Dorn because nobody on /. would have known who he was if you hadn't ;)
I want peace on earth and goodwill toward man.
We are the United States Government! We don't do that sort of thing.
Every convenience store should have a few Tribbles around.
"The ferrets, they're every where I tell you!"
The mods are without honor and should be stripped of their karma and titles, face discommendation, and sent to work the mines on Rural Penthe.
Free Martian Whores!
Pretty easy to armchair quarterback in total safety what you think you would have done in the same situation, but the truth is you would never know until you were in that situation. I don't think the plane was full of extraordinarily "unaverage" people - they were average joes. Odds are you would have sat right there with them scared out of your wits as well. The funny thing is, if as many people who claimed they would be a hero in situations such as this actually did step up and be a hero, stuff like that would not happen as much as it does in reality.
P.S. It would be fairly trivial to kill someone with what you call a "kid's knife". A box cutter is a razor blade with a handle. Would you like to be slashed with a razor?
"But this one goes to 11!"
*BEGINS CHANNELING JACK THOMPSON*
This proves that watching Star Trek makes a person violent! We must ban all Star Trek in order to protect our children and our 7-11's.
*ENDS CHANNELING JACK THOMPSON*
And now, if you'll excuse me, I need to wash out my brain... with some hydrochloric acid.
My sci-fi novel, Ghost Thief, is now available from Amazon.com.
You can keep it inside any convenient Romulan corpse.
Dark Reflection
P.S. It would be fairly trivial to kill someone with what you call a "kid's knife". A box cutter is a razor blade with a handle. Would you like to be slashed with a razor?
As opposed to being smashed into a skyscraper? Yes.
But hindsight is 20/20, and they didn't know it just a typical "take the plane to cuba" deal until it was too late.
It comes down to the information available to the respective passengers. The standard approach is to assume that the hijackers want money or the release of prisoners and probably won't kill the passengers. With that in mind you just sit in your seat, shut up, and hope that when the SWAT team kills the hijackers you don't get injured. When the passengers realized those people were going to turn them into a missile (because of phone calls informing them of their impending deaths) they weren't going to have any of that shit. The passengers of the other planes would have clawed the eyes out of their attackers if they had any idea what was going to happen. People will readily die for a higher purpose (see soldiers, religious crazies, people that try to rescue children/pets/the elderly from fires), they just have to see the purpose of dying.
It has nothing to do with bravery or "averageness". Prior to 9/11 the best thing a hostage could do was stay calm and obedient -it ensured not only your own safety, but the safety of others. Hostage-taking was nothing new and almost always resolved safely on the ground. Going cowboy was an act of foolish endangerment.
The reason the passengers on the flight over PA fought back was because they heard what happened with the other planes and realized the previous rules didn't apply this time. I have little doubt the people on the early flights would've tried the same thing if they had known.
If someone came at me with a Bat'leth all I'd be thinking is 'Is today a good day to die?'
Conservation of angular momentum makes the world go round.
We actually have a good story on Idle. Well, I guess there's a first time for everything.
There is no -1 Disagree mod. Slashdot.org/faq defines mod options. USE IT.
Since pain sticks weren't available for his initiation he had to settle for brain freeze.
Back in college, I had a friend who was into the Society for Creative Anachronism thing. He got burgled one night while he was home, and sent the intruder to the hospital with wounds from a broadsword. You don't see that every day.
Apparently he was stark naked when he attacked, too. Dunno if he bothered to cover himself with woad before the battle.
Give a man a fish and you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish, and he'll say "WHERE'S MY FISH, YOU IDIOT?"
If you work in a convenience store, you never ever try to stop a robbery. It doesn't matter if the guy has a gun, a Bat'leh, or an attack gerbil.
Your job is to get this guy out of your store as fast as possible with as few injuries as possible. I knew someone who worked in HR at Southland Corporation (the people who run 7-11s). They train their workers to help the robbers.
Most robbers have little idea of what they should do once they run into a convenience store and demand all of the money. The clerks are trained to not make sudden moves and to keep their hands visible.
The clerks ask the robber if they want their money in a sack and if the robber would like them to lie down behind the counter until they leave. The clerk's job at that point is to get the robber out of the store as quickly as possible.
Most of the time, there is less than $50 in the till. If someone comes in with a bat'leh, you don't know if they may also have a gun on them. You have no idea what this person might be capable of doing or whether they have a few friends outside who may try to help out if you put up a fight.
It simply isn't worth the fuss over $50. You give the money to your assailants, wish them a nice day, and hope they leave as quickly as they came.
Exactly. 'Box cutters' has no basis in reality whatsoever. There is absolutely no evidence or reports of 'box cutters'.
Box cutters was picked by the airlines because it was one of those things that it actually was legal to bring on an airplane, and they wanted it to be a failure of regulations.
In reality, they probably, indeed, had combat knives. But the airlines didn't like that, because it would be their failure to keep illegal weapons off airplanes.
In fact, there's not actually any evidence they didn't have guns. The passengers on Flight 93 thought they only had knives, but considering their attack failed, it's entirely possible it failed because, duh, they got shot. And even then, no guns on 93 didn't mean there weren't guns elsewhere.
But 'box cutters' is now ingrained on American mythos.
If corporations are people, aren't stockholders guilty of slavery?