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Man Robs Convenience Stores With Klingon "Batleth"
mnovotny writes "Colorado Springs police are looking for a man who hit two 7-Eleven convenience stores, armed with a Klingon 'Batleth' sword inspired by the Star Trek science fiction series.
They did appear more human in the original series."
only outlaws will have batleths...
He should be stripped of his land and titles.
is one of the Rites of Ascension. While it is inevitable that a boy becomes a man, what is not inevitable is whether a man becomes a warrior. That is, until he robs a 7-eleven.
It's not a "Batleth", it's a "Bat'leth". Without the apostrophe it just looks ridiculous.
Spelling mistakes, grammatical errors, and stupid comments are intentional.
Yes, we must ban replica weapons that are only made for killing large numbers of people! Protect the children!
These "assault swords" have features like extra cutting edges, and allow the evil person using one to swing it in both directions, thereby killing more people.
The user's hands are placed a little differently than on traditional swords, meaning the user can swing with more power and hit more people at once.
They're made of cheap metal, which is more dangerous than regular steel because it's more powerful and stronger than a real sword!
And they have engravings in an unknown foreign terrorist language, which tells the user how to be deadly assassin. And there's obviously no need for engraving on a sword.
And obviously, if we ban them, they'll all magically go away, because we know that criminals who like to commit acts of violence will be scared of the law that bans their swords. Nobody will ever make one themselves, or sneak one in through the black market, and there are no legitimate uses (such as movie props and reenactments) for these weapons.
The meek may inherit the earth, but the strong shall take the stars.
Combining robbery and nerdery since '09!!!
We can start with the delightful observation that both clerks (Clerks?) recognised it as a Bat'Leth, and better, that the second one had the nuts to tell this honourless p'tak to go screw a goat. Even Star Trek nerds aren't afraid of other Star Trek nerds.
If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
...and I never will. I can never forgive them...for robbing my 7-11.
1 (short ton / firkin) = 89.1432354 slugs / keg
I wonder if the investigating police showed up in Enterprise Uniforms. 'This is highly illogical, Leutenant'
This is my sig. There are many like it but this one is mine.
WWAKD (What Would A Klingon Do?)
Rob a 7-11, apparently. How else does a warrior fund a Bird of Prey in this economy?
"Who modded this informative? Whoever it is must've been smokin' some of that martian pot!"
Yeah, it's just a shame neither of the clerks were in red shirts!
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it seems that the two clerks were big enough nerds to identify the weapon as a Batleth!
Unfortunately it seems that the robber was masked so they weren't able to tell if he was a swarmy Klingon.
Some great writing in the story: "The clerk did not give him any money and the suspect transported himself out of the store"
So the suspect ummm.. "left" the store? Oh wait... "transported himself", dude got beamed up!
Does it seem surreal to anyone else that, according to the article, both clerks recognized what a Bat'leth was? Colorado Springs: where Trek nerds control all the local convenience stores. For best results, RTFA while listening to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XyhhFzE5O5U
Gamertag: WyleType
Randall: Worse than getting robbed by some f'n Star Trek geek?
Dante: I'm not even supposed to be here today!
Prisencolinensinainciusol. Ol Rait!
Yeah, it's just a shame neither of the clerks were in red shirts!
If they had been the headline would be: Man Commits Murder With Klingon Bat'Leth
I want peace on earth and goodwill toward man.
We are the United States Government! We don't do that sort of thing.
No, but armed robbery will land him in a federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison.
You are using English. Please learn the difference between loose and lose; they're, there, and their; your and you're.
I was hoping to make a big impact when I start robbing stores with my lightsaber, but it looks like some trekkies stole my thunder.
No problem look for the glow of video game screens coming from mom's basement and you will find the culprit.
"Kam'cha chime CHEK!"
(If he were a TRUE Klingon, he could reply with, "You swear WELL in Klingon, human clerk...")
Previously: "Linux... Toward the Sunrise..." Now: "Linux... Toward the-- No, now, part of Every Sunrise"
No, but armed robbery will land him in a federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison.
No, it will land him in a county jail. If it were a repeat or significant enough offense, he would likely end up in a state prison. Federal prison is for thos who violate federal laws - armed robbery that doesn't cross state lines is a local/state crime.
Think outside the... Hey, where'd the friggin' box go?
Yeah, but there are no awesome Office Space quotes that involve county jail!
You are using English. Please learn the difference between loose and lose; they're, there, and their; your and you're.
will he be considered and "Ex-KAHN!"?
Sig Follows: "Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself." -- Mark Twain
When asked if he had a smooth or ridged forehead, they refused to comment.
This space for rent. All reasonable inquiries will be entertained at proprietors discretion.
Turn in your geek card and spell it correctly!
And your mother has a smooth forehead!
$> man woman $> Segmentation fault. (Core dumped)
I'm rather disappointed he just wore a plain black mask and regular clothes...
The story would have sounded a lot better if he had gone in a full klingon costume.
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I'm glad you linked to Michael Dorn because nobody on /. would have known who he was if you hadn't ;)
I want peace on earth and goodwill toward man.
We are the United States Government! We don't do that sort of thing.
Anybody? Anobody? Bueller? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_weapons_in_Star_Trek#Bat.27leth
Every convenience store should have a few Tribbles around.
"The ferrets, they're every where I tell you!"
No Lirpa?
The mods are without honor and should be stripped of their karma and titles, face discommendation, and sent to work the mines on Rural Penthe.
Free Martian Whores!
Pretty easy to armchair quarterback in total safety what you think you would have done in the same situation, but the truth is you would never know until you were in that situation. I don't think the plane was full of extraordinarily "unaverage" people - they were average joes. Odds are you would have sat right there with them scared out of your wits as well. The funny thing is, if as many people who claimed they would be a hero in situations such as this actually did step up and be a hero, stuff like that would not happen as much as it does in reality.
P.S. It would be fairly trivial to kill someone with what you call a "kid's knife". A box cutter is a razor blade with a handle. Would you like to be slashed with a razor?
"But this one goes to 11!"
*BEGINS CHANNELING JACK THOMPSON*
This proves that watching Star Trek makes a person violent! We must ban all Star Trek in order to protect our children and our 7-11's.
*ENDS CHANNELING JACK THOMPSON*
And now, if you'll excuse me, I need to wash out my brain... with some hydrochloric acid.
My sci-fi novel, Ghost Thief, is now available from Amazon.com.
The passengers of flight 93 certainly weren't afraid of the 4 guys with box cutters.
Insert funny smart-ass comment here.
You can keep it inside any convenient Romulan corpse.
Dark Reflection
P.S. It would be fairly trivial to kill someone with what you call a "kid's knife". A box cutter is a razor blade with a handle. Would you like to be slashed with a razor?
As opposed to being smashed into a skyscraper? Yes.
But hindsight is 20/20, and they didn't know it just a typical "take the plane to cuba" deal until it was too late.
It comes down to the information available to the respective passengers. The standard approach is to assume that the hijackers want money or the release of prisoners and probably won't kill the passengers. With that in mind you just sit in your seat, shut up, and hope that when the SWAT team kills the hijackers you don't get injured. When the passengers realized those people were going to turn them into a missile (because of phone calls informing them of their impending deaths) they weren't going to have any of that shit. The passengers of the other planes would have clawed the eyes out of their attackers if they had any idea what was going to happen. People will readily die for a higher purpose (see soldiers, religious crazies, people that try to rescue children/pets/the elderly from fires), they just have to see the purpose of dying.
It has nothing to do with bravery or "averageness". Prior to 9/11 the best thing a hostage could do was stay calm and obedient -it ensured not only your own safety, but the safety of others. Hostage-taking was nothing new and almost always resolved safely on the ground. Going cowboy was an act of foolish endangerment.
The reason the passengers on the flight over PA fought back was because they heard what happened with the other planes and realized the previous rules didn't apply this time. I have little doubt the people on the early flights would've tried the same thing if they had known.
And it looks it would take a good bit of effort to "cut" a stick of butter with it:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kirpan
(Also see the legality section further down)
I'd be surprised if these got a second look pre-9/11...but these days a picture of a giant cartoon robot with a cartoon gun on your T-shirt is too dangerous to take on a plane.
"When information is power, privacy is freedom" - Jah-Wren Ryel
I hear the 7-Eleven is going to start requiring all clerks to keep Tribbles behind the counter, in case of future attempts.
(I blatantly plagiarized this from one of the comments below the article)
If someone came at me with a Bat'leth all I'd be thinking is 'Is today a good day to die?'
Conservation of angular momentum makes the world go round.
They were not afraid of 'box cutters'.
The reason for this is that there are no reports or evidence of any kind anywhere that the hijackers had box cutters.
It's far more likely they were carrying combat knives. The box cutter myth was started to explain how they carried the knives through airport security.
See:
http://edwardjayepstein.com/nether_fictoid9.htm
We actually have a good story on Idle. Well, I guess there's a first time for everything.
There is no -1 Disagree mod. Slashdot.org/faq defines mod options. USE IT.
Since pain sticks weren't available for his initiation he had to settle for brain freeze.
Either one can cut/harm/kill you potentially. That was my point. It's like asking "Would you rather get shot by a .357 or a .44?" The only answer I could give would be "neither" because either option would not be pleasant.
"But this one goes to 11!"
I thought I remembered that some of the cellphone transcripts from the hijacked planes said that the hijackers claimed to have bombs on board.
If they were telling passengers that, coupled with the fact that most hijacked planes up to that point were just flown to a unfriendly nation and held for ransom, the passengers really had no way to know that risking their lives would have saved thousands.
Back in college, I had a friend who was into the Society for Creative Anachronism thing. He got burgled one night while he was home, and sent the intruder to the hospital with wounds from a broadsword. You don't see that every day.
Apparently he was stark naked when he attacked, too. Dunno if he bothered to cover himself with woad before the battle.
Give a man a fish and you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish, and he'll say "WHERE'S MY FISH, YOU IDIOT?"
If you work in a convenience store, you never ever try to stop a robbery. It doesn't matter if the guy has a gun, a Bat'leh, or an attack gerbil.
Your job is to get this guy out of your store as fast as possible with as few injuries as possible. I knew someone who worked in HR at Southland Corporation (the people who run 7-11s). They train their workers to help the robbers.
Most robbers have little idea of what they should do once they run into a convenience store and demand all of the money. The clerks are trained to not make sudden moves and to keep their hands visible.
The clerks ask the robber if they want their money in a sack and if the robber would like them to lie down behind the counter until they leave. The clerk's job at that point is to get the robber out of the store as quickly as possible.
Most of the time, there is less than $50 in the till. If someone comes in with a bat'leh, you don't know if they may also have a gun on them. You have no idea what this person might be capable of doing or whether they have a few friends outside who may try to help out if you put up a fight.
It simply isn't worth the fuss over $50. You give the money to your assailants, wish them a nice day, and hope they leave as quickly as they came.
Passengers of the three planes which reached their objective are not normally referred to as heroes in the media, they are called victims. Certainly the rebelling Flight 93 passengers are rightly called heroes as are the firefighters and police who went up into the towers to rescue people, but I haven't noticed that label being liberally applied to the victims as well.
How much does it happen in reality? I don't hear about it very often, in a country (USA) of 300 million. Of course, flying-jets-into-buildings only happened once, but even other large-scale (more than a few deaths) random violence only happens, what, annually? Less? That's very rare. We live in an exceedingly safe society, even as it is an open and free society (mostly). Other societies have even lower crime, but they have less freedom and openness (cf England or something).
Me, I would have run to the back of the plane and browned my underwear.
Exactly. 'Box cutters' has no basis in reality whatsoever. There is absolutely no evidence or reports of 'box cutters'.
Box cutters was picked by the airlines because it was one of those things that it actually was legal to bring on an airplane, and they wanted it to be a failure of regulations.
In reality, they probably, indeed, had combat knives. But the airlines didn't like that, because it would be their failure to keep illegal weapons off airplanes.
In fact, there's not actually any evidence they didn't have guns. The passengers on Flight 93 thought they only had knives, but considering their attack failed, it's entirely possible it failed because, duh, they got shot. And even then, no guns on 93 didn't mean there weren't guns elsewhere.
But 'box cutters' is now ingrained on American mythos.
If corporations are people, aren't stockholders guilty of slavery?
Threats from Paramount's legal department.
They claim copyright on the word "transport" and all derivations thereof.
If the masses can keep you down, you're not the Ubermensch.
I think they had halberds, specifically the Sempach model but with shortened hafts. And I have just as much evidence as you do for your crackpot theory.
Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
Except that Edward Jay Epstein is wrong when he says that no witnesses reported the hijackers having box cutters.
The 9-11 Commission Report states: "At some point between 9:16 and 9:26, Barbara Olson called her husband, Ted Olson, the solicitor general of the United States. She reported that the flight had been hijacked, and the hijackers had knives and box cutters. She further indicated that the hijackers were not aware of her phone call, and that they had put all the passengers in the back of the plane. About a minute into the conversation, the call was cut off. Solicitor General Olson tried unsuccessfully to reach Attorney General John Ashcroft."
In fact, Epstein later says that Barbara Olson indeed did call her husband and tell him that the terrorists had knives and box-cutters.
He also argues that since we've not found the remains of plastic knives and box cutters in the rubble (and how would we know that those weren't in the building and not the plane?) and that somehow casts doubt that the terrorists had them. Then he mentions how they may have had guns and bombs, but we didn't find the remains of those either, and yet the earlier doubts don't apply in that situation?