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Don't Like EULAs? Get Your Cat To Agree To Them
An anonymous reader writes "Anne Loucks built a device which, when her cat steps on it, can click the 'I Agree' button of a EULA. Who knows what the lawyers will make of this sort of madness. Can a cat make a legal agreement? Does it need to be of legal age? She lures the cat onto the device, and the cat steps on it of its own free will. Anyway, folks who hate EULAs now have another tool to make the lawyers freak out."
Hey it could be worse. It could have been bears and we all know we can trust those godless killing machines.
Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.
You don't want catbert, the evil HR cat from dilbert to agree anything for you on your behalf. NOT. EVER!
Just sign the EULA, pussy
Tell me about it. EULAs are retarded.
Unless they practice law
I guess I just need to invent a device so my dog can fire a gun pointed at my mother-in-law every time he licks his balls.
Do you even lift?
These aren't the 'roids you're looking for.
I have a box in which I seal a cat along with my computer and a radioactive isotope. I connect an electronic monitor to the cat, and it is rigged up to click the "Agree" button if the cat dies.
I tend to edit the EULA before I click "I agree". Usually, I just clear the box to which I'm ageeing.
That won't take you off the hook. By luring the beast onto the device and having it agree to the EULA, you're employing the it as your proxy or agent, your utensil or tool, your...um, what's the word...your cat's-paw.
I've calculated my velocity with such exquisite precision that I have no idea where I am.
Then you can claim that either Schroedinger accepted the agreement, or the software company killed your cat.
However, the cat here is just a tool for you to accept the agreement. If you set up a device to automatically agree to a license without you fully reading it, you've still manifested an intent to accept the terms
Yeah, well, what if you used Schrodinger's cat? Then you have both accepted and not accepted the terms.
This is not news! I have a mouse that has been accepting EULAs for years!
Well, your plan's got fifty percent chance to fuck up when the court observes your defence.
I CAN HAS LAWSUIT?
A mandatory LOLCATization of a picture in the article - LOLCAT conversion complete
Face your daemons!
Do they have your signature, do they have a spoken contract, do they even have any communication of acceptance? No, but they don't seem think a judge will require any evidence of agreement before holding you to page after page of "boilerplate" mixed with "gotcha" legalese.
Did they already take your money and give you your product before even showing you a EULA? Yes, but they don't seem think a judge will care about "first sale" doctrine when deciding how valid that EULA is.
Does the EULA offer you any new rights beyond what copyright already allows you to do? Does it offer anything of value in exchange for what they claim you're voluntarily giving away? Usually no, but they don't think judges will bother worrying about "consideration" anyway.
Are they trying to disable the advertised features of their product until and unless you agree to additional terms made after the sale? Yes, but they seem confident that a judge won't invalidate terms agreed to under duress.
And up until now, legal challenges looked like they could go either way. But what if we used a cat? That's foolproof! Surely if a cat clicked the button, no judge would possibly enforce that EULA! That's been clear since Plessy v. Whiskers! Case dismissed!
FLAWLESS VICTORY
Get a bottle of tequila. Drink at least a quarter of the bottle. Take pictures or a BAC test or get witnesses or something so you can later prove you were hammered. Click "I agree." You can't be bound by a contract you sign while inebriated, so you didn't really agree. Much cheaper than cats in the long run; no need to worry about feeding and cleaning litter boxes and cuddling and such. Plus getting drunk is fun!
However, the cat here is just a tool for you to accept the agreement. If you set up a device to automatically agree to a license without you fully reading it, you've still manifested an intent to accept the terms
Yeah, well, what if you used Schrodinger's cat? Then you have both accepted and not accepted the terms.
The BSA would just sue you twice, using the "signed it" theory in one case and the "didn't sign it" theory in the other.
They're total quantum assholes!
And since one has to deliberately get their cat to click the button, they clearly show their intent to agree to the EULA.
As any cat owner knows, you don't have to "deliberately" do anything for them to have an excuse to walk across your keyboard.
is your argument that we pay to possess the software, but clicking 'Agree' on the EULA is what actually authorizes us to use that software legally.
that's good to know, because I have a ton of pirated software, and since I've clicked "agree" on that EULA during installation, i now have a valid license, and I am now authorized to use it. sweet!
-I only code in BASIC.-
Only slightly better legal advice than "Don't like your girlfriend? Tie the knife to a dachshund and call it an animal attack."
"Anyone who attempts to generate random numbers by deterministic means is living in a state of sin." -- John von Neumann
Your decision will collapse to 'accepted' once it has been observed in a court of law.
I lured the cat into hitting cancel, but he missed! What now!!?
-Dan
i'm in ur EULA remoovin' ur liability
You can fool some of the people all of the time
Occasionally? Continuous is easier to find. Keep it in a drawer. When the EULA comes up, decide that it is a good time to try fixing that keyboard. First thing you should do is plug it in to make sure it's symptoms haven't changed...
Next, it will be a device allow 3 cats to perform executions.
You can always get drunk...most contracts aren't enforceable if one party is incapacitated.
I lured the cat into hitting cancel, but he missed!
Note that this would require a cat since most other trained animals would just do what you told it to. Only a cat is obstinate enough to push the opposite button just to spite you.
And no, it's not because cats are smarter.
</cat_hater>
By reading this post you agree to pay me 1,000,000 USD.
Mod as -1 Troll to indicate you agree to these terms.
Set your phasers on "funky"!
You mean you aren't already drunk before you get there? Ur doin' it wrong.
she snarled, hissed, then peed on it
Well, actually- it points out the absurdity of a contract without a signature.
Ever heard of an oral contract?
Meow?
The phrase "I Accept" has become the internationally recognized slang for "GET LOST YOU SLIMY CREEP".
Tell me honestly, have you _ever_ clicked on an "I Accept" button with the intent in your mind to be bound to every term (of which you are lucidly aware) of an EULA?
No. You didn't.
The thought uppermost in you mind at the time of going "Click" was one of...
So that's it. Somebody create an web site explaining what the phrase "I Accept" means. (You can reference several of my posts on slashdot and the like).
Then somebody else can create a Wikipedia entry referencing the other web site.
Wait a few months until it makes it's way into the latest dictionaries and the like.
And there you have it. In court you say, "But didn't you know, the commonly accepted meaning of "I Accept" is "GET LOST", see here in this dictionary of common usage, and I really really did mean that when I clicked on that button.
So, I should get my cat drunk before getting it to click on the EULA?
It might get me out of the EULA, but then PETA will be all over my ass.
HA! I just wasted some of your bandwidth with a frivolous sig!
House owner should have had an ETAA (End-Thief Access Agreement) inside the house.
"Anyone entering this household unlawfully agrees to indemnify the householder against any and all accidents and injuries that may befall the entering person. Entry of house signifies agreement."
I guess it's better to get your cat drunk and then make it use the device - let the lawyers earn their money
Oh, and we're supposed to believe the gun-tottin', ball-lickin' dog is innocent~
"The ability to delude yourself may be an important survival tool" - Jane Wagner -
I'm on your keyboard agreein' to yer yoolas.