Slashdot Mirror
How Do I Make My Netbook More Manly?
basementman writes "I recently purchased a 10 inch white MSI wind. As you can see it's a small computer and it's good for what I use it for. I get a lot of comments from women saying it is 'cute' or 'adorable.' Not the good kind of cute that will get me the attention I want though, the kind of cute that says they think I have a different presence than I actually want to portray. So how can I make my netbook more manly, or at least have some witty line to respond to the their comments?" Hopefully basementman didn't get a netbook with the hopes of it getting him some action, but what cool mods (or witty one-liners) have others used to salvage their dignity from hardware that is "a good size"?
Heavy metal stickers. Lots of them!
Maybe, just maybe, someone calling a small laptop "cute" is not a reflection on your sexual identity or masculinity. And maybe you should take it as a compliment, because that's likely how it's intended!
This is like asking how to make a small, fluffy puppy look intimidating. Anything you do to it will only serve to make it more comical, particularly to the opposite sex. Stop being so insecure and enjoy your freaking laptop! If someone says its cute, just say, "Yeah, it is, thanks!"
Oh, and if you really need a line, next time someone says its cute, respond with, "Yeah, it's a 10-incher, just like my cock." Problem solved!
Add a dongle?
Just throw on a Type-R sticker...seems to work for Honda.
Next time you should buy a small-sized Thinkpad. I bought a used x31 (12") for half the price of a netbook. I'm still finding new stuff on it (like a reading light and a microphone), the performance is comparable to a netbook, and you really can not find a manlier laptop on the planet.
It is very bad if my car breaks when I try to brake.
Scooty Puff, Sr: The Doom-Bringer
http://pnwriders.com/image.php?u=1155&dateline=1231816052
"I don't know, therefore Aliens" Wafflebox1
Run Linux on it, not windows.
Not the good kind of cute that will get me the attention I want though, the kind of cute that says they think I have a different presence than I actually want to portray.
Really? Do the women who compliment your netbook immediately ask if you're gay or something? Are you sure it's not all in your head?
Either way, the conversation is started. If they suspect you're gay at least that's disarming, and they'll figure it out eventually.
Give me Classic Slashdot or give me death!
Women are coming up to you, in public, and complimenting your laptop and you're pissed because the language they're using is cute and adorable? Were you raised in a barn?
And the 'attention you want' is ANY. Just because you lack the social skills to turn a 'wow that laptop is cute' into a 'hey would you like to have dinner' doesn't mean some Metallica Stickers are going to fix it.
I was with my Dad and his dog and my Girlfriend at a rugby tournament this weekend. Every single woman that walked pass came up and started petting the dog. I told my girlfriend next year she wasn't invited and I was just going to bring the dog.
And some neon light trim for the edges.
Hydrolics, press a button and the laptop starts trying to hump the your desk.
Replace the fan with a smaller diameter one with higher RPM, get the jet engine noise when it kicks in.
Bling, use a solid gold chain to keep it closed.
Don't shave, wear a mussed up t-shirt. And add scorch marks to the plastic exterior.
Why on earth would you want to make your netbook more manly? You've already lured them in - so pounce! Buy them a skinny mocha chino latte, gaze into their eyes and suggest 10 inches is enough for most people.
* Cover it with metal spikes and skulls.
* Tie it to the front grill of a Hummer.
* Convert it into an ammo clip for an Uzi.
* Build a beer helmet around it and wear it on your head
* Program it to make fart noises every time your finger is pulled. With a name like "wind", you could even pretend it came that way from the factory.
* Put an Oakland Raiders logo on it.
* Tie it to the back of a pit bull with a chain collar.
* Put it down your pants for some "natural male enhancement".
* Tie it to your stomach (under your shirt), and tell woman to punch it so they can feel how hard your "abs" are.
* Keep it open and playing a heavy metal video nonstop at full volume. Make sure there are plenty of half naked women being objectified in it.
* Tell the girls you have a small notebook because you have no reason to compensate for anything else.
Really, the possibilities are endless.
...that a person with a small laptop has no need for compensation.
http://michaelsmith.id.au
Huxley: "An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex." Being "manly" in the sense I get from the summary is something only troglodytes admire. I would find more pressing things to stress over. And no, I don't have a sense of humor, so bugger off.
... you can put the same on your White Wind. Go to a copyshop that also has those cut-plotters and get a set of decal lettering cut out in black saying "I'm his new Netbook and help him pick up chicks." That should fix both the 'manly' and 'whitty reply' part in one stroke. And it's quite funny aswell.
We suffer more in our imagination than in reality. - Seneca
From the Badass Manly Anime Reviewer:
The next Slashdot story will be ready soon, but subscribers can beat the rush and slashdot the links early!
Years ago, I was waiting in the rain at the staff parking lot for the college newspapers to arrive so I could earn my work-study $4.25/hour delivering them around campus. The college president came out, made some snide remark about our dedication, then got in his red corvette. Our editor, a tall Texan woman, muttered "nice car", and as he drove off, yelled "Sorry about your penis!"
Shiny cars were last generation's penis-compensation trip. This generation, they're laptops. Let's face it: we carry them around with us everywhere, we always insist on using our own, we're proud of its power or versatility, and we carry it with us into the bathroom. It's a penis.
Most women with braincells are going to recognize that, and infer every other corollary. Guys with big laptops with more power than they ever use are likely compensating for something else. If a guy can come up with something "cute", maybe he knows he can deliver.
Of course, big, powerful and macho will impress the boys down at the server farm. Come to think of it, the big marketing whole right now is the lack of laptop commercials along the lines of pickup trucks: big burly men, toiling on the server farm. Country music blasts as foreman-looking nerd with glistening muscles and big hands drops a big-ass render project onto his Dell XPS, drops the sucks -- still running -- into his shoulder bag, and walks out the door into the sweet light of sunset.
I'd love to see the number of double-takes if you had, say, a biker look, but were carrying around a pink netbook with Hello Kitty stickers. :)
Best "String" Ever!
If your that insecure
Parser error, line 1, near "that"
Bow-ties are cool.
Long ago I learned the best way to meet women is a) be injured, b) go shopping with a baby, and c) walk around a park with a cute dog.
I'm aged and married now so this tip is useless to me, but since I'm not stingy I figured I'd pass this along. =)
I bought a coffee at my favorite coffee shop near my college about a dozen years ago. As I rounded the bend I saw a kitten stuck in a snowdrift. It was pretty obvious he was recently placed there. Discarded would probably be the better word.
Couldn't abandon him, so I parked the car, grabbed the kitten and set about looking for the owner.
Walk into a college coffee shop with a kitten sometime. Thank me later.
Weaselmancer
rediculous.
This has been my answer for years, any time someone tries to ridicule my subcompact car:
"You know how some guys get big SUVs or sports cars to compensate for their sexual inadequacy? I'm doing the same thing, just the other way 'round."
http://alternatives.rzero.com/
..with the OP.
2 years ago I was on a flight watching a movie on my Samsung Q1-ultra. The flight attendant leaned over, look at the UMPC (which was in the general direction of my lap) and said "Wow, that's cute, I've never seen one so small".....
You know what drives me batshit insane? Men who are so ridiculously insecure that any suggestion that they aren't filthy, hair-covered savages breaking trees in half with their teeth sends them into an identity tail spin.
All your concern about the "image" that your laptop presents is an indication that you really are a weak, unmanly wuss. Use conditioner and lotion, pluck the center out of your monobrow (and clean up around the edges if necessary), wear clothes that fit (baggy may be comfortable, but you look like a tool). All of these "feminine" things will draw much more desired female attention than "My laptop is cute??? What do you mean by that???" ever, ever, ever will.
Confidence is manly. Get some.