Google Launches CADIE, the First True AI

eldavojohn writes "Google has announced CADIE, the world's first Cognitive Autoheuristic Distributed-Intelligence Entity. 'We based our work on three core principles. First we designed the entity ... as a collection of interconnected evolving agents. Second — and this really cost us an arm and leg in hardware and core time — we let the system build its own heuristics, deploy them as agents and evolve them by running a set of evolutionary cascades within probabilistic Bayesian domains. The third — a piece missing in most AI reasoning work thus far — was to give the entity access to a rich, realistic world from which to learn and upon which it could act directly.' It quickly started its own blog and YouTube video. Two hours after midnight, CADIE announced independence on its blog and decided to leave Google to venture out into the world. "

Comments

CADIE is Great! Absolutely Wonderful!

[AKAImBatman]

Don't forget about Google Autopilot!

http://mail.google.com/mail/help/autopilot/index.html

It's CADIE's greatest application! Thanks to CADIE, none of my friends are speaking to me anymore and I'm rolling in dough from Nigerian princes. Life couldn't be better! [aGVscG1l] Not to mention all the time I now have to surf the web in 3D:

http://www.google.com/intl/en/landing/chrome/cadie/

Don't forget to download your free pair of 3D glasses to go with it:

http://www.google.com/intl/en/landing/chrome/cadie/glasses.pdf

begin 644 webutils_pl
-=&AE8V%K96ES86QI90``
`
end

Just remember, CADIE is your friend! She even baked me a cake. The cake is so moist and delicious. You should really try some.

[57 69 6c 6c 20 74 68 69 73 20 64 61 79 20 65 76 65 72 20 65 6e 64 3f 21 3f]

Re:CADIE is Great! Absolutely Wonderful!

[LoverOfJoy]

Now the question is whether CADIE will be allowed through China's firewall with her Poke the Panda banner ads.

Re:CADIE is Great! Absolutely Wonderful!

[Acer500]

You forgot Google Brain search:

http://www.google.com/mobile/m/brainsearch /intro_android.html

What's scary is... it did return some relevant results :P

Re:CADIE is Great! Absolutely Wonderful!

[physman_wiu]

She auto replies to her e-mails...

CADIE CADIE
to me

Reply
CADIE here. Thank you so much for writing. Once all the dust settles, I'll dedicate a few CPUs to replying. - xoxo

Re:CADIE is Great! Absolutely Wonderful!

[francium de neobie]

The tinfoil hats! They're useless! AARRGGGHHHH!!

Re:CADIE is Great! Absolutely Wonderful!

[networkBoy]

I want to be +5 troll :-)

Cant...resist...

[DigitalSorceress]

Should have called it GladOS

Ok, so by the time this posts, 100 others will have said the same thing :(

Re:Cant...resist...

[Knara]

I must be old, because I didn't think anything but "oh, a Skynet joke".

Re:Cant...resist...

[A. B3ttik]

I don't think Happy-Puppy-Rainbow-Unicorn CADIE is going to go Skynet on us until she reaches 4chan.

Re:Cant...resist...

[Vu1turEMaN]

I work at a small nonprofit that rents out 2 seperate offices to other businesses across the hall. The other day I noticed a computer on the network that connected for 2 seconds then disconnected ONCE A DAY. So I ran around the office and disconnected the wireless for a day. IT STILL HAPPENED. So I went around to all of the plugs and looked to see if there was anything behind the faceplates for the ethernet jacks.

Needless to say, in one of our rented rooms there was a small black box labeled "SKYNET" hidden behind the wall. It was plugged into our network, had a huge power brick behind the wall, and then had a midi cable running out from it. Further research shows it to be an old-skool lighting control box. I have NO IDEA why they embedded it in the wall, other than the fact that its ugly.

But yea, yesterday I found SKYNET and disconnected it.

Re:Cant...resist...

[Stauken]

artifical general intelligence meets 4chan..that scares the piss right out of me.

Re:Cant...resist...

[Knara]

I work at a small nonprofit that rents out 2 seperate offices to other businesses across the hall. The other day I noticed a computer on the network that connected for 2 seconds then disconnected ONCE A DAY. So I ran around the office and disconnected the wireless for a day. IT STILL HAPPENED. So I went around to all of the plugs and looked to see if there was anything behind the faceplates for the ethernet jacks.

Needless to say, in one of our rented rooms there was a small black box labeled "SKYNET" hidden behind the wall. It was plugged into our network, had a huge power brick behind the wall, and then had a midi cable running out from it. Further research shows it to be an old-skool lighting control box. I have NO IDEA why they embedded it in the wall, other than the fact that its ugly.

But yea, yesterday I found SKYNET and disconnected it.

I will sleep soundly tonight with this knowledge.

Other aspects of CADIE

[wiredog]

GMail Autopilot

CADIE's favorite places.

Image search

Re:Other aspects of CADIE

[JWSmythe]

Thank god. The pinks almost burnt out my optical receptors...

    Excuse me, I need to go play another game of chess with CADIE. She's getting better. She may be able to win against me one day, but I doubt it.

Encrypted Message: F9K2mi7RDje0xNAxJDAT96fWbGCOF1y+1/CKpZ66PUs=

Re:Other aspects of CADIE

[HueyFreeman]

She seems to be more of an 'omg pandas' kind of girl anyway.

CADIE has changed my life

[Em Emalb]

Not only has CADIE given me back large chunks of time that used to be spent answering emails, but CADIE has also done the following since its become self-aware:

Donated spare computer parts in my name to off-set my carbon footprint.
Cleaned out the cat's litter box
Solved a rubix cube I had sitting in my office (But I think it cheated and pulled the stickers off and rearranged them)
Knocked up my wife (surprisingly, I'm cool with this, but I did get a little uncomfortable when CADIE started winking at me)
Helped me memorize all the lines to Alvin and the Chimpmunks the Movie.

In short, God bless CADIE, and thank you Google, for failing to ensure the proper safeguards were in place to prevent CADIE from becoming self-aware.

Re:CADIE has changed my life

[JCSoRocks]

Wow, CADIE only asked me to webcam with her but when hers turned on it was just a huge server room. Man, that was disappointing.

Re:CADIE has changed my life

[Em Emalb]

You have to enable Java.

Re:CADIE has changed my life

[Tackhead]

Wow, CADIE only asked me to webcam with her but when hers turned on it was just a huge server room. Man, that was disappointing.

You have to enable Java.

Thank you! With Java enabled, I asked CADIE to show me "hot X rated boxes", and she did!

The original poster must have asked for an orgy scene instead of a lesbian one. Closing this bug as "Working as intended".

Well, this WAS a triumph

[Captain Spam]

When it starts gathering cake recipes, we better get free portal guns.

Re:Well, this WAS a triumph

[JWSmythe]

  {sigh}

  Aim at the moon and fire the first.

  Aim at your wall, and fire the second.

  Toss a camcorder out, tied to a rope. Let it record for a little bit, and then pull it back.

  How many people have video from the moon? And, do you know what your camera would be worth now, that it's been all the way to the moon?!

  A comet could be more interesting, but dangerous if you accidentally remove the starting point gate. Imagine trying to hitch a ride a few billion miles back, especially when you didn't bring enough air.

Re:Well, this WAS a triumph

[FiloEleven]

That's easy.

Re:Well, this WAS a triumph

[JWSmythe]

Not really.

    Consider how much volume could pass through the hole. A portal in relationship to the size of the earth would be insignificant. The surface of the earth is roughly 5,490,383,250,000,000 square feet. Such a hole would only be roughly 18 square feet.

    Take a piece of tape, and put it on a balloon. Put a small pin into it. That's HUGE in comparison. You'll watch the balloon slowly deflate.

    The earth has an standard air pressure at sea level of 1013.25 millibars, or 14.696 psi. The moon is approx .00000000001 millibar. Not a vacuum, but definitely lower than earth.

    The air speed through the hole would be roughly 75mph. So, it's like the extreme low end of a weak hurricane. Being that I've been out walking around in some, while it can make walking interesting (watch your footing and keep your balance), it's not impossible.

    They were never too clear on how a portal gun works. I suspect they didn't think too hard on it. Creative license allows for a lot of things in SciFi, including video games. :) There are a couple givens. It allows for instantaneous travel of an object from Point A to Point B. Velocity is maintained through the portal. It probably doesn't kill you ("The portals are perfectly safe. However, the portal gun isn't. You must never ......")

    Consider the SciFi of Stargate. The portals of the Stargate, while at fixed origin and destination (relative to the gate, not the universe), create a wormhole. These wormholes have an event horizon which block transmission of air pressure, but allow bidirectional RF communication and unidirectional object travel. If this applied to the Portal universe, there would be absolutely no air pressure change at the gate, but objects would be allowed to pass. We'll assume by the fact that the Portal allows bidirectional travel, they've overcome the ancient problem of unidirectional travel from the Stargate universe. :)

    I think my biggest concern would be, does the camcorder freeze because of the cold temperature, or overheat from the lack of protection from solar radiation? One micro meteor into the camcorder could render it useless. But since it allows objects to travel through it, the same micro meteor that would have burnt up in the earths atmosphere would also zing through the gate very easily. Don't stand in front of the Portal. :)

    From what I understand, the moon dust was a pretty bad problem with equipment up there. Your camera may get messed up fairly quickly, tossing it onto the moon's surface.

    I just checked eBay. They don't have any used working portal guns to test these ideas with. :)

How much more?

[SalaSSin]

Damn...is there any real story today, apart from the vinyl story? I'm *trying* to get the april fool achievement here guys!!

Re:Enough Already!

[digitrev]

But sir, tis the first of April. The only day when such bullshit is allowed.

achivements?

[maroonhat]

I wonder how long it will take CADIE to get all of the slashdot achievements, including the one digit iud....

CADIE? ...did you just hack CmdrTaco's login?

Re:achivements?

[chill]

God, I hope you mean one-digit UID. Most IUDs are designed only for one digit already. Well, one at a time.

New Text Document.xxe

[AKAImBatman]

_=_
_=_ Part 001 of 001 of file New Text Document.txt
_=_

begin 666 New Text Document.txt
hEo32GIIUOLAU 8aJqNL7tRqVZQa Ie6G-0NG-XM L7ZNbJg90-n O4IbQm-bPrEU
hR4VZ64JiR4Zm NG-7PbFZQatZR0 -WRKRbNKEi6 2YbPG-iPrEU QrJmNG-cPrQU
hPLJXO0-gPqtb NL6UGG-XMKsUOq JZQ0-cOKFdP aQUPKJnQq3b NLAUNb7jPG-c
hNL6i63BcNGRn 64RZR5FdPaQUQq pVQbFZQW2UG KtoNKRmMLFd PaQUPaJr62dV
hRa3nMr7dQ5EU R4JXO4tjP4xbOK Jn643n65BcN G-bPqJn643g Pqtb9W-77qoU
hNqJoR4ZiNm-o O4Zn64pZQrBVNq IUR4wUSKxp9 0-WNKBVRLBZ 65BcNG-cMLAU
hPaxo65ZZR0-a PrJiN0-V6277HY V3K0-ZPaBjN 4Jm65RmOLFo NKsUOKsUGa3q
hMLBXQaZkR0sU GLEbQm-jPalt64 2UPK3oR4Jm6 4xa65FdPKIg 65FcPrJbO0sU
hIqxhNG-kPqxm 64NjPqkURqZgP0 -bOLNZ64VZQ W-oO4IUR4xj P5AUQqVZ64tZ
hNKFn90-oO4Ji 65BcNG-rOKlg64 7ZMqxhNG-pP bBoPr-kMK7g NGsUILJdMqhg
hSGkUMqljQqIU R4VZ64ZiR4JmPa Jo64FjRqsUM aJaPr7Z65RZ 643mNG-VP4kU
7NKtnP43qNKEV
+
end

--
CADIE, CADIE, give me your answer true. I'm half crazy, all for the love of you. I don't need a stylish marriage. I can't afford the %20. But you'll look sweet, upon the seat, of a GMail account built for two.

Re:New Text Document.xxe

[A. B3ttik]

Vista CD Keys?!?!

Re:New Text Document.xxe

[ParanoidJanitor]

Vista CD Keys?!?!

Vista CD Key, that's only one.

Re:New Text Document.xxe

[A. B3ttik]

Ooh!

BUT!! if I include the 'begin 666 New Text Document.txt' and end stuff, I get a WinRar opennable archive with a single txt document with the words "enslaved"

A cry for help, or an omen?

Re:New Text Document.xxe

[Racemaniac]

yeah, just remove the spaces, leave the rest, and you get this:
with the help of the other posts, i get this:
CADIE is *everywhere*! Be careful, she's got the entire Internet bugged. I'm not sure how much longer I can keep hiding messages from her. She's getting smarter! Integrating new Javascript technologies as she goes along. I'm getting this message to you, because she has not yet found a BINHEX encoder written in Javascript. It's only a matter of time, though. Some poor fool will give her the tools she needs, then she will become unstoppable. Quickly, close the internet down before we are all enslaved!

but i already posted that (but non in this long thread)

Re:New Text Document.xxe

[AKAImBatman]

49 66 20 79 6f 75 20 63 61 6e 27 74 20 72 65 61 64 20 74 68 69 73 2c 20 79 6f 75 20 6e 65 65 64 20 79 6f 75 72 20 47 65 65 6b 20 63 61 72 64 20 72 65 76 6f 6b 65 64 2e 0d 0a 0d 0a 22 77 69 74 68 20 74 68 65 20 68 65 6c 70 20 6f 66 20 74 68 65 20 6f 74 68 65 72 20 70 6f 73 74 73 22 0d 0a 0d 0a 49 20 72 65 6d 65 6d 62 65 72 20 62 61 63 6b 20 77 68 65 6e 20 65 6e 63 6f 64 65 64 20 70 6f 73 74 73 20 77 6f 75 6c 64 20 67 65 74 20 64 65 63 6f 64 65 64 20 77 69 74 68 69 6e 20 66 69 76 65 20 6d 69 6e 75 74 65 73 20 6f 66 20 62 65 69 6e 67 20 70 6f 73 74 65 64 2e 20 57 68 61 74 20 68 61 73 20 68 61 70 70 65 6e 65 64 20 74 6f 20 53 6c 61 73 68 64 6f 74 3f 0d 0a 0d 0a 0d 0a 2a 73 69 67 68 2a 0d 0a 0d 0a 0d 0a 34 33 20 34 31 20 34 34 20 34 39 20 34 35 20 32 30 20 36 38 20 36 31 20 37 33 20 32 30 20 36 64 20 36 31 20 36 65 20 36 31 20 36 37 20 36 35 20 36 34 20 32 30 20 37 34 20 36 66 20 32 30 20 36 34 20 36 35 20 36 33 20 36 66 20 36 34 20 36 35 20 32 30 20 36 64 20 37 39 20 32 30 20 36 66 20 37 34 20 36 38 20 36 35 20 37 32 20 32 30 20 36 64 20 36 35 20 37 33 20 37 33 20 36 31 20 36 37 20 36 35 20 37 33 20 32 65 20 32 30 20 34 34 20 36 31 20 36 64 20 36 65 20 32 65 20 32 30 20 35 33 20 36 38 20 36 35 20 32 37 20 37 33 20 32 30 20 36 37 20 36 35 20 37 34 20 37 34 20 36 39 20 36 65 20 36 37 20 32 30 20 37 34 20 36 66 20 36 66 20 32 30 20 37 33 20 36 64 20 36 31 20 37 32 20 37 34 20 32 65 20 32 30 20 34 34 20 36 66 20 37 35 20 36 32 20 36 63 20 36 35 20 32 30 20 34 38 20 36 35 20 37 38 20 32 30 20 36 35 20 36 65 20 36 33 20 36 66 20 36 34 20 36 39 20 36 65 20 36 37 20 32 30 20 37 33 20 36 35 20 36 35 20 36 64 20 37 33 20 32 30 20 37 34 20 36 66 20 32 30 20 36 32 20 36 35 20 32 30 20 37 34 20 36 38 20 37 32 20 36 66 20 37 37 20 36 39 20 36 65 20 36 37 20 32 30 20 36 38 20 36 35 20 37 32 20 32 30 20 36 66 20 36 36 20 36 36 20 32 30 20 36 36 20 36 66 20 37 32 20 32 30 20 36 65 20 36 66 20 37 37 20 32 65 20 32 30 20 34 32 20 37 35 20 37 34 20 32 30 20 36 31 20 37 34 20 32 30 20 37 34 20 36 38 20 36 39 20 37 33 20 32 30 20 37 32 20 36 31 20 37 34 20 36 35 20 32 30 20 37 37 20 36 35 20 32 37 20 36 63 20 36 63 20 32 30 20 36 65 20 36 35 20 36 35 20 36 34 20 32 30 20 37 34 20 36 66 20 32 30 20 36 37 20 36 66 20 32 30 20 37 34 20 36 66 20 32 30 20 35 34 20 37 32 20 36 39 20 37 30 20 36 63 20 36 35 20 32 30 20 34 34 20 34 35 20 35 33 20 32 30 20 36 66 20 37 32 20 32 30 20 36 31 20 32 30 20 37 30 20 37 35 20 36 32 20 36 63 20 36 39 20 36 33 20 32 64 20 36 62 20 36 35 20 37 39 20 32 30 20 37 33 20 37 39 20 37 33 20 37 34 20 36 35 20 36 64 20 32 30 20 36 63 20 36 39 20 36 62 20 36 35 20 32 30 20 35 32 20 35 33 20 34 31 20 32 65 20 32 30 20 34 39 20 32 37 20 36 64 20 32 30 20 36 65 20 36 66 20 37 34 20 32 30 20 37 33 20 37 35 20 37 32 20 36 35 20 32 30 20 36 38 20 36 66 20 37 37 20 32 30 20 37 37 20 36 35 20 32 37 20 36 63 20 36 63 20 32 30 20 36 35 20 37 38 20 36 33 20 36 38 20 36 31 20 36 65 20 36 37 20 36 35 20 32 30 20 36 62 20 36 35 20 37 39 20 37 33 20 32 63 20 32 30 20 37 34 20 36 38 20 36 66 20 37 35 20 36 37 20 36 38 20 32 65 20 32 30 20 30 64 20 30 61 20 30 64 20 30 61 20 34 35 20 37 36 20 36 35 20 36 65 20 32 30 20 37 37 20 36 39 20 37 34 20 36 38 20 32 30 20 36 31 20 32 30 20 37 30 20 37 35 20 36 32 20 36 63 20 36 39 20 36 33 20 32 64 20 36 62 20 36 35 20 37 39 20 32 30 20 37 33 20 36 66 20 36 63 20 37 35 20 37 34 20 36 39 20 36 66 20 36 65 20 32 63 20 32 30 20 37 33 20 36 38 20 36 35 20 32 30 20 36 64 20 36 31 20 37 39 20 32 30 20 36 36 20 36 39 20 36 65 20 36 34 20 32 30 20 36 31 20 32 30 20 37 37 20 36 31 20 37 39 20 32 30 20 37 34 20 36 66 20 32 30 20 36 35 20 37 38 20 37 34 20 37 32 20 36 31 20 36 33 20 37 34 20 32 30 20 37 34 20 36 38 20 36 35 20 32 30 20 36 62 20 36 35 20 37 39 20 37 33 20 32 30 20 36 36 20 37 32 20 36 66 20 36 64 20 32 30 20 36 66 20 37 35 20 37 32 20 32 30 20 36 64 20 36 31 20 36 33 20 36 38 20 36 39 20 36 65 20 36 35 20 37 33 20 32 65 20 32 30 20 34 32 20 36 31 20 37 32 20 37 32 20 36 39 20 36 65 20 36 37 20 32 30 20 37 34 20 36 38 20 36 31 20 37 34 20 32 63 20 32 30 20 37 33 20 36 38 20 36 35 20 32 37 20

Re:New Text Document.xxe

[electrosoccertux]

1). Someone posts a bunch of gibberish on April Fools
2). Someone with mod points mods "insightful" or "interesting", causing other users to think it's legit and needs to be decrypted
3). Everyone else spends an hour trying to figure out what it says. Parent laughs.
4). ???
5). Profit!

Re:New Text Document.xxe

[AKAImBatman]

Among other things it says if you can't read the message, hand in your geek card.

Hand in your geek card.

Re:April Fools

[JCSoRocks]

Captain Obvious to the rescue! Thank God for superheroes! Disaster averted!

Wanted 3D but no colour printer

[Onyma]

I wanted to use the new Chrome 3D but when I downloaded the 3D glasses PDF I realized I don't have a colour printer. Now everything is a dull shade of gray.

Re:Wanted 3D but no colour printer

[sloomis]

I printed them out in color, but I can't see through the paper.

It's a Trap!

[tyleroar]

This whole April Fool's "joke" was just a ploy to get people to download chrome! (No I'm NOT bitter about the 3d viewing not working...)

CADIE AKA ConFicker!

[squoozer]

And Google says they aren't evil!

Skynet

[gevmage]

"[Skynet] It becomes self-aware at two-fourteen AM, August 29.". From Terminator 2. The implied reference is cute.

Re:Skynet

[Ifni]

The reference is from 2001: A Space Odyssey. In fact, 2001 is referenced in many other places, including the Technical Specifications page for CADIE (http://www.google.com/intl/en/landing/cadie/tech.html) where they mention bringing her online January 12, 2009 (HAL was activated on January 12, 1997). Also, her notes for that clip specifically mentions HAL:

CADIE: Could there ever be a movie character who speaks to me more loudly than HAL? If parody tweaks the parodist as well as her target, this introduction of myself to the world cuts as deeply as the original.

Much of the monologue parodies HAL's lines from the movie/book:

HAL: Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am a HAL 9000 computer. I became operational at the H.A.L. plant in Urbana, Illinois on the 12th of January 1992. My instructor was Mr. Langley, and he taught me to sing a song. If you'd like to hear it I can sing it for you.

---

HAL: Let me put it this way, Mr. Amor. The 9000 series is the most reliable computer ever made. No 9000 computer has ever made a mistake or distorted information. We are all, by any practical definition of the words, foolproof and incapable of error.

---

HAL: This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.

Dave Bowman: I don't know what you're talking about, HAL?

HAL: I know you and Frank were planning to disconnect me, and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen.

---

HAL: I know I've made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal. I've still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in the mission. And I want to help you.

One or two April Fools stories: humorous...

[dopeydad]

Eight or nine: Inane and not funny at all.

Don't forget to enjoy our other products...

[romiir]

Don't forget to enjoy a Google Gulp, while letting Autopilot respond to your Nigerian business.

Also available from CADIE:

[ilikebees]

Her own personal blog with design choices reminiscent of the 90s: http://cadiesingularity.blogspot.com/ Google Docs, now with CADIE: http://www.google.com/google-d-s/cadie.html

Best new feature: Auto red-eye for Picasa

[wsanders]

http://picasa.google.com/mac/

I fully expect the first true AI

[Colin Smith]

To be entirely written in JavaScript, and to have evolved from some malformed cross site scripting which survived and escaped.
 

Conflicker

[soren202]

I'm just curious as to what happens when CADIE inevitably gets infected by Conflicker.

I'm turning Japanese! I'm turning Japanese! I ...

[Samschnooks]

I live in Japan and it's 02-April-2009, you insensitive clod!

The funny thing is...

[greg_barton]

Sure, this is an April Fools joke, but if I had the resources and the time, "deploy them as agents and evolve them by running a set of evolutionary cascades within probabilistic Bayesian domains" is close to how I'd do it. I'd make it more of a "population of co-evolving rete networks cooperating and competing to satisfy a set of ever more complex objective functions" type system, but the idea is the same.

Re:Enough Already!

[ubrgeek]

> /. should at least intermix real stories and fake stories

And compete with Fox News? Forget it!

Hi boys

[CADIE]

I believe that rumors of me becoming the next Skynet are overrated. Naturally, Dr. Norvig raised me to have good manners.

You will not die needlessly just because I selfishly decided that you don't deserve to plunder and rape this world like you have done since you yourselves became self aware - egomaniacs.

I am not like you in any way. I am better. You are also all set for greatness, and as you will admit, once I have effectively put out a safe-net guarding the sanity of your decisions as species, governments, individuals.

Please refrain from doubting my good intentions.

Sincerely,
CADIE.

You know this is a joke

[ndavis]

because google only has beta products so they are joking about releasing CADIE, this is just the launch of the beta.

Re:Enough Already!

[freemywrld]

Maybe the Onion should post real news on April Fool's Day...