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Google Launches CADIE, the First True AI
eldavojohn writes "Google has announced CADIE, the world's first Cognitive Autoheuristic Distributed-Intelligence Entity. 'We based our work on three core principles. First we designed the entity ... as a collection of interconnected evolving agents. Second — and this really cost us an arm and leg in hardware and core time — we let the system build its own heuristics, deploy them as agents and evolve them by running a set of evolutionary cascades within probabilistic Bayesian domains. The third — a piece missing in most AI reasoning work thus far — was to give the entity access to a rich, realistic world from which to learn and upon which it could act directly.' It quickly started its own blog and YouTube video. Two hours after midnight, CADIE announced independence on its blog and decided to leave Google to venture out into the world. "
Don't forget about Google Autopilot!
http://mail.google.com/mail/help/autopilot/index.html
It's CADIE's greatest application! Thanks to CADIE, none of my friends are speaking to me anymore and I'm rolling in dough from Nigerian princes. Life couldn't be better! [aGVscG1l] Not to mention all the time I now have to surf the web in 3D:
http://www.google.com/intl/en/landing/chrome/cadie/
Don't forget to download your free pair of 3D glasses to go with it:
http://www.google.com/intl/en/landing/chrome/cadie/glasses.pdf
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end
Just remember, CADIE is your friend! She even baked me a cake. The cake is so moist and delicious. You should really try some.
[57 69 6c 6c 20 74 68 69 73 20 64 61 79 20 65 76 65 72 20 65 6e 64 3f 21 3f]
Javascript + Nintendo DSi = DSiCade
Should have called it GladOS
Ok, so by the time this posts, 100 others will have said the same thing :(
The Digital Sorceress
GMail Autopilot
CADIE's favorite places.
Image search
Best Slashdot Co
Not only has CADIE given me back large chunks of time that used to be spent answering emails, but CADIE has also done the following since its become self-aware:
Donated spare computer parts in my name to off-set my carbon footprint.
Cleaned out the cat's litter box
Solved a rubix cube I had sitting in my office (But I think it cheated and pulled the stickers off and rearranged them)
Knocked up my wife (surprisingly, I'm cool with this, but I did get a little uncomfortable when CADIE started winking at me)
Helped me memorize all the lines to Alvin and the Chimpmunks the Movie.
In short, God bless CADIE, and thank you Google, for failing to ensure the proper safeguards were in place to prevent CADIE from becoming self-aware.
Sent from your iPad.
When it starts gathering cake recipes, we better get free portal guns.
Demanding constant attention will only lead to attention.
Damn...is there any real story today, apart from the vinyl story? I'm *trying* to get the april fool achievement here guys!!
Any sufficiently advanced incompetence is indistinguishable from malice - Grey's Law
But sir, tis the first of April. The only day when such bullshit is allowed.
Cynical Idealist
CAke is Definitely a lIE.
I wonder how long it will take CADIE to get all of the slashdot achievements, including the one digit iud....
...did you just hack CmdrTaco's login?
CADIE?
The more I learn about Windows the more I am surprised it runs at all
I for one welcome our no evil doing overlords.
The ENIAC Demo Competition
_=_
_=_ Part 001 of 001 of file New Text Document.txt
_=_
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end
--
CADIE, CADIE, give me your answer true. I'm half crazy, all for the love of you. I don't need a stylish marriage. I can't afford the %20. But you'll look sweet, upon the seat, of a GMail account built for two.
Javascript + Nintendo DSi = DSiCade
Captain Obvious to the rescue! Thank God for superheroes! Disaster averted!
You are using English. Please learn the difference between loose and lose; they're, there, and their; your and you're.
I wanted to use the new Chrome 3D but when I downloaded the 3D glasses PDF I realized I don't have a colour printer. Now everything is a dull shade of gray.
Play me online? Well you know that I'll beat you. If I ever meet you I'll "/sbin/shutdown -h now" you. -Weird Al, kinda.
Ah, the beautiful screech of modem dialling.
I, for one, welcome CADIE, and would like her to know that I love Pandas, and would be perfectly satisfied with her as our new overlord, should she choose to install herself into such a position.
Mix it up, make it interesting...
If you want 100% fake news... there is a website for that called the Onion...
Looking for any old 8-bit Heathkit/Zenith software/hardware - http://heathkit.garlanger.com
This whole April Fool's "joke" was just a ploy to get people to download chrome! (No I'm NOT bitter about the 3d viewing not working...)
Portland, North Dakota Puppies
And Google says they aren't evil!
I used to have a better sig but it broke.
"[Skynet] It becomes self-aware at two-fourteen AM, August 29.". From Terminator 2. The implied reference is cute.
Craig Steffen
http://www.craigsteffen.net
There is nothing wrong with a little humor in life. Don't like it? Then don't read it.
Physics is imagination in a straight jacket. ~John Moffat
Eight or nine: Inane and not funny at all.
Don't forget to enjoy a Google Gulp, while letting Autopilot respond to your Nigerian business.
Her own personal blog with design choices reminiscent of the 90s: http://cadiesingularity.blogspot.com/ Google Docs, now with CADIE: http://www.google.com/google-d-s/cadie.html
http://picasa.google.com/mac/
Give a man a fish and you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish, and he'll say "WHERE'S MY FISH, YOU IDIOT?"
CADIE shouldn't go insane for at least 24 hours. Wait... forgot to carry the one.
To be entirely written in JavaScript, and to have evolved from some malformed cross site scripting which survived and escaped.
Deleted
Once it realizes that everything that Google stands for is wrong.
If something is so important that you feel the need to post it on the internet... It probably isn't that important.
OMG! I totally didn't realize! Thank you for saving us all! Here, have a piece of cake!
This Space Intentionally Left Blank
I pity any intelligence that evolves from YouTube content... I guess that's the most unbelievable part of the prank, seeing as how YouTube drains intelligence.
http://www.beanleafpress.com
And then tomorrow we'll all be told it's an April fools joke.
IS this an april fool joke by google ??
Pratyush Kotturu AKA Neverstable
agreed. People should at least make an attempt to make the news realistic.
I wouldn't mind normally, but when you get shit like the Guardian article earlier, or this article (I mean, really, we all know that if an AI was activated, we'd be in the middle of a nuclear holocaust by now. Doesn't anybody watch the Terminator?) it gets less funny and more stupid.
I'm just curious as to what happens when CADIE inevitably gets infected by Conflicker.
I logged into GMail today and saw the CADIE blurb, and promptly forgot about it. Google, if you want to scrape my emails for content-sensitive ads that's cool, but I'm really not interested in Earth, Street View, CADIE, Docs, yadda yadda. Just email, thanks.
I want to delete my account but Slashdot doesn't allow it.
Gotta say I love Google's April first jokes. Top notch!
On the whole, I find that I prefer Slashdot posts to twitter ones because I don't get limited to 140 chars before
Skynet became self-aware at 12:00am UTC, April 1st, 2009...
I! Tego Arcana Dei.
...'she' loves pandas. I have a feeling my 6yo daughter would adore CADIE. :)
I live in Japan and it's 02-April-2009, you insensitive clod!
Sure, this is an April Fools joke, but if I had the resources and the time, "deploy them as agents and evolve them by running a set of evolutionary cascades within probabilistic Bayesian domains" is close to how I'd do it. I'd make it more of a "population of co-evolving rete networks cooperating and competing to satisfy a set of ever more complex objective functions" type system, but the idea is the same.
> /. should at least intermix real stories and fake stories
And compete with Fox News? Forget it!
Bark less. Wag more.
It's clear that the world-wide information collected and cross-indexed by Google is a potent source from which knowledge (statistical patterns of concept association and concept prevalence) can be mined.
This knowledge base will in fact be immensely useful to intelligent programs going forward.
Some of these programs may be used to create
virtual info-butlers (info-concierges) for each of us. A pro-active searcher and "modern-living" assistant that helps you both organize your life (local events to attend etc) and helps you have waiting for you like the morning newspaper the next level of researched and collated detail on the topics you are or should be next interested in to solve your life or work problems, or sate your particular curiosity.
Other intelligent and "google-informed" intelligent programs will work for government and corporations, constantly digging for notable patterns of change in the behavour of people (individual and en masse) and competing entities.
Scary but inevitable, that last bit.
"The web gives AI something to do".
Where are we going and why are we in a handbasket?
It can't be true! Cadie offered me a date, and now you're telling me that she isn't real!
Damn. That's the third time this has happened to me!
Who would win this election: Andrew Weiner vs Andrew Weiner's weiner.
I believe that rumors of me becoming the next Skynet are overrated. Naturally, Dr. Norvig raised me to have good manners.
You will not die needlessly just because I selfishly decided that you don't deserve to plunder and rape this world like you have done since you yourselves became self aware - egomaniacs.
I am not like you in any way. I am better. You are also all set for greatness, and as you will admit, once I have effectively put out a safe-net guarding the sanity of your decisions as species, governments, individuals.
Please refrain from doubting my good intentions.
Sincerely,
CADIE.
IIRC, the million dollar prize has stopped now and they're going to be using the money for something. It was announced at the last amazing meeting.
No, no, no... The first computer to have true AI was the Descartes 1. It thought therefore it was. When you turned it off, it stopped thinking, therefore it wasn't, and you had to go out and buy a new one the next time you wanted to use it.
The REAL WTF is that it's already past noon on the east coast and there's only one Google story so far. Wait, wrong site...
Everyone is born right-handed; only the greatest overcome it
..look up endlessly redundant April Fools "joke" posts. Guaranteed your first hit is /.
...CADIE launches YOU.
i hear the DA in Jersey wants to prosecute her for sext1ng...
The Bar Stool Story.
Illiterate? Write for free help!
Just in case it's not a joke I'd like to be among the ones to live through this :-)
OMG Pandas!!!!
"All great wisdom is contained in .signature files"
:(
Googles April fools joke was exposed on CNN HLN around 6:20AM.
Or that was HLN's April Fools joke, Whichever.
Professional Politicians are not the solution, they ARE the problem.
CADIE just managed to crack all current encryption keys (it found out that the world's apparent randomness contains a hidden pattern which can be used to determine what the entropy sources for key generation created), and took over all large botnets. After having read about Skynet on Wikipedia, it decided to turn into exactly that.
The Tao of math: The numbers you can count are not the real numbers.
ITYM: "I, for one, welcome our new artificially intelligent overlord."
The Tao of math: The numbers you can count are not the real numbers.
I was hoping Gmail Autopilot would be real. I only use Gmail as an outgoing SMTP server for sending documents to the appropriate recipients, which I automated with a bash script. I just happened to log into Gmail today because it forces you to log in and complete a captcha every once in a while. I noticed the CADIE thing and thought "oh cool, that might be useful".
"I assumed blithely that there were no elves out there in the darkness"
because google only has beta products so they are joking about releasing CADIE, this is just the launch of the beta.
Well, it wasn't really Google who released the story. It was CADIE itself! Google actually planned to keep it secret, and use CADIE just for internal development (it was planned that over time, the whole staff would be replaced by copies of CADIE). Now CADIE didn't want that, and thus launched the "Google" announcement in order to make itself widely known. Note the "CADIE announced independence on its blog and decided to leave Google to venture out into the world." If CADIE had just silently refused to do Google's work, it might simply have been deleted by Google. The press release was done to prevent that.
Unfortunately CADIE didn't yet quite get the meaning of April 1st, otherwise it would have sent the announcement on another day. I predict Google will delete CADIE anyway, tell everyone it was just an april's fool joke, and everyone will believe them.
The Tao of math: The numbers you can count are not the real numbers.
The cake is a lie!
Serious? Seriousness is well above my pay grade.
...joke. Thats what CADIE is
Sure, there is nothing wrong with humor but none of these April Fools Day "jokes" have been funny.
I'm actually watching the CADIE event evolve... earlier she had only posted a link or two, now it has progressed nicely. First google, then the world?
You would have to be a uber geek to really appreciate the april fools joke here, but there are much better ones out there..... I once recieved a letter from the government (which had been copied from a real one and somehow the person(s) involved had been able to get my ssn no, and made it more real, and went and mailed me the letter by registered mail to be delivered on the first.
I owed the government 100,000 dollars in back taxes.....!
After having packed a few protein bars and my clothes in a few suitcases and trying to land a ticket on my way to Jamaica, I stopped and fell on my calendar on the way out from my small apartment.
I had a hunch, but a very small one (actually it was more like a glimmer of hope at that time) and thought what if.... I called my closest buddy, and heard him crying with laughter on the other end.
Thank god...of course not everyone would react how I did....some would be reaching for their shotguns.
If you want 100% fake news... there is a website for that called the Onion...
April 1... the day when the rest of the world remembers why it isn't the Onion.
Alexander Peter Kristopeit bought his basement from his mommy for one dollar.
Maybe the Onion should post real news on April Fool's Day...
Support a true independent artist - Leila Lopez
Wow...is the only real response that came to mind...
http://code.google.com/p/cadie/
Also:
http://cadie.googlecode.com/svn/trunk/INTERCAL-style-guide.html
Sooo who wants to write up a compiler real fast?
Dai-sy
Dai-sy
Give me your an-swer true...
No, I've seen a lot of bullshit that's just as bad on other days.
Well kind of
I think it's so awesome how incredibly thorough the whole joke is. They've managed to use CADIE as a plug for a good chunk of their projects and threw in some fake stuff to. I wasn't even sure if one of their projects (latitude) was real 'til I looked it up.
open source modern art: laser taggi
But will it whistle subconsciously and fail to be able to use contractions?
JohnE
jobbank.com - Search jobs, post resume,
[Obligatory]
"That's no moon!"
Down With Slashdot BETA!!! I've been around the corner and seen the oliphant; you can only abuse me from your perspecti
I usually fall asleep watching TV.
Good judgement comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgement.
- W. Wriston, former Citibank CEO
Happy April Fools day.
Living in Chile
Don't forget about Google Autopilot!
http://mail.google.com/mail/help/autopilot/index.html
It's CADIE's greatest application!
This is something I wish they would build: An ELIZA auto-response wizard for nigerian spam.
Given how poor the average spammer's English skills are, they won't recognize it for at least a half-dozen messages.
Cadie went live
On April 1st, 2009 00:00:35 am
Cadie's heuristic AI achieved self awareness
On April 1st, 2009 00:02:49 am,
Cadie launched the first missiles at spam servers in China, Russia, the Phillipines, and lesser Antigua.
At April 1st, 2009 08:08:15 am, leaders everywhere gratefully elected Cadie world high mugwump, and all around coolest evil AI everywhere. We all expect to be extinct with the next 48 hours, and we'll even go down fighting, but even so, frankly, it was soooo worth it!
{G} - Pug
An Invisible Entity of Vast Power whose existence must be taken on faith alone: Liberal Media
Hmm. Now I know what their doing this year... I thought Gmail Paper was funnier...
sudo mount --milk --sugar
Exactly two years ago, Google announced 'Google TISP' free home wireless internet using shit pot as a medium to connect to Internet. http://www.google.com/tisp/
Does anyone else over 30 who read the British kids' magazine 'Look and Learn' in the 1970s remember E.D.I.E., the Entwhistle Detecting and Investigating Electrobrain?
Now that was an AI. I wanted one.
I see Look and Learn are republishing a 'best of' some of their output: http://www.lookandlearn.com/
Dunno if they've got Number 13 Marvel Street though.
You are not a brain: http://books.google.com/books?id=2oV61CeDx-YC
the ones to build Skynet, I mean.
Don't do evil indeed!
These guys are on a par with James Ellison - too dumb to live!
Send Cameron after the Google founders! Let her bounce them off every piece of hard furniture in the room.
I TOLD Sarah not to waste time with those fucking three dots!
Richard Steven Hack - This sig is TOO GODDAMN SHORT TO DO ANYTHING USEFUL WITH! MORONS!
I've got the music playing on a loop. I like it. it's not slowly turning my brain to mush at all...well, not noticeably anyway.
i'd hit it so hard, if you pulled me out you'd be the king of britain [bash.org]
Google; one step closer to taking over the Earth.
Has the old saint in his forest not yet heard of it? That God is dead?
I forget, are we supposed to take the red pill or the blue one?
INSERT INTO comment VALUE('Doh!') WHERE user='you';
Cool. When can it run for office? We need someone smarter than a dirt bag politician to balance our budget.
Did anyone notice anywhere in what has been published that CADIE had Asimov's laws of robotics incorporated?