Slashdot Mirror
Google Mows With Goats
Kelson writes "Google's Mountain View headquarters has fields that need to be kept clear of fire hazards. This year instead of mowing them, they took a low-carbon approach: they hired a herd of goats to eat the grass for a week. 'It costs us about the same as mowing, and goats are a lot cuter to watch than lawn mowers,' wrote Dan Hoffman."
I use penguins to keep my servers cool. Seriously. It works.
But, they taste better than lawnmowers...
Who would win this election: Andrew Weiner vs Andrew Weiner's weiner.
Oh, please don't start that. All that stuff is just baaaaaaad.
Alright. Sorry for the stupid joke. I'm feeling a bit sheepish now.
Okay. Seriously. I'm done ramming these jokes down your throat.
What? Don't be angry. You're just mad I got this in before ewe.
"and goats are a lot cuter to watch than lawn mowers" How much time do you spend watching lawn mowers or ..now.. goats ?
I can't believe google would do this, don't they know goats emit methane? It's so unhealthy for the environment. And what's worse, they keep thousands of walking carbon emitters that they call employees, and what's worse they actually pay them. Some of these do nothing all day except emit carbon. When will people wake up and realize that Google really is evil?????
Qxe4
Yeah, but they use quite a bit of carbon making more goat mass. What do you think goats are made of?
They just need to sequester the goats in a salt mine or something once they reach a certain size.
They should all just go back to goatland and stop stealing our jobs!
Goats are made of food, just like cows, chickens, sheep, and pigs :)
If you can't see the value in jet powered ants you should turn in your nerd card. - Dunbal (464142)
Hiring only one herd seems very un-google like. Perhaps they should have hired a second herd for from a proper RAIG (redundant array of inexpensive goats) array. Scottish researchers have already proven technologies that could be used to form a common RAIG-1 array. Simple genetic manipulation with the common Equus quagga would create a RAIG-10 (Stripped - Mirror) array.
I would say that a RAIG-5 array would offer the best performance, but I am wholly unaware of any current methods for calculating goat parity. I also have no desire to try and troubleshoot RAIG-Controller corruption...
There are some people that if they don't know, you can't tell 'em.
GOATS can work for Google?!?! Screw college!
If they think goats are cuter than lawn mowers, then I think they're hiring the wrong people to mow their lawn...
They should have just put ads out: "Wanted: cute people to mow lawns." They could arrange to get some kids dressed up like they're out of a Rockwell painting, or some tasty co-ed types... I know these aren't the usual things one looks for in a lawn mower, but if you're taking goats as the aesthetically pleasing alternative then I have to think you can do better.
Bow-ties are cool.
Whereas the mowers would be instantly transported to the required position using zero-carbon emission magic.
Tic-Tac-Toe, Global Thermonuclear War, and relationships all have the same winning move.
Have you ever tried to milk a lawnmower?
Nevermind the news. Google's grass is eaten by goats.
...Native plants still produce a fire hazards ...
Fire hazards are part of nature though. If your home or office building isn't burned down in a lightning-caused brush fire every 10 years or so, you're not doing your part for the environment. Why do you people all hate the Earth so much?
My uncle used to have goats on his farm, and they were right bastards. Of course, so was he.
SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
Yeah - curried lawnmower is awful.
Shameless plug alert: Game server control panel
Want to know something totally fucked up? Rabbits have a simple two chamber ruminant stomach so they cannot digest cellulose in one pass. hey are forced to re-eat their shit in order to fully digest it. They are copraphages or literally shit eaters. Much like Microsoft employees forced to use their own software.
I learned something today !
My plan to make a cow-dragon is now one step closer to reality.
\u262D = \u5350
You really need to get outside the basement more often.
it does have a fuel nipple, and you can milk anything with a nipple.
Is it sad that I am more likely to recognize you and your posts by your sig than your name or UID?
Goats are browsers
So I can use goat in place of a flaming fox to view webpages?
All the RAMs have all ready been used in servers...
What about CO2?
Could you milk me?
Qué?
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. - Albert Einstein
Yes - that's how I got my nickname: Lefty.
Please don't use "umm" or "err" or "erm".
These jokes really get my goat.
Check out my sci-fi/humor trilogy at PatriotsBooks.
Congratulations, you just helped me name my new band.
Watch for the hit new album from
"Goat Mass"
called
"sequestered in a salt mine"
No, you use cows to carry the goats to the field, and you get Gorillas to herd the cattle, then winter comes and the Gorillas freeze to death.
Circle of life.
Cute, but every one of those is a sheep joke.
I *do* know what you mean!
Goat hair (mohair) is terrible for making sweaters from unless you use a breed specifically bred for the purpose, and those breeds are even worse for mowing than the meat or dairy breeds.
I'm so glad there is someone else on slashdot who understands the advantages of sheep over goats. You've really made my day.
[rolls eyes]
"Trolls they were, but filled with the evil will of their master: a fell race..." -- J.R.R. Tolkien on Olog-hai
where can I sign up?
I think the google lawn is now taken care of but I'll give you a couple buck to watch you eat my lawn.
"News for Herds... Stuff that Matters."
There, fixed that for you.
+ 3.14 Transcendental
There's no pulling the wool over your eyes!
Milk a male goat and make a friend for life!
Putting the "anal" back into "analyst"...
If you really want to use ruminants to mow for you, sheep are a much better choice than goats.
Agreed, and then there's the associated pleasures that come with sheep, if ya know what I mean :-). Not that goats are bad, but it's a different stuff all together, though that also depends on your local climate, I guess...
What? No they don't. Chickens can't digest cellulose, so they don't eat a large volume of plant fiber. They'll eat the seed heads, and they'll keep the bugs in check, but the only way they'll keep a lawn mowed is by tramping it down when you've got them overcrowded in an enclosure.
"Trolls they were, but filled with the evil will of their master: a fell race..." -- J.R.R. Tolkien on Olog-hai
Don't be silly. Six minutes later he's back at the bar, and won't return your phone calls.
Why, without your clothes, you're naked, Miss Dudley!
I don't get it. What has this anything to do with Manchester United?
Relax, he was just kidding.
What, change his name from Horst Draper?
i would too, but i wonder if a "beware of lawnmower" sign would release you of liability if kids got in it's way
Yeah, the most carbon neutral thing google could do with that land would be to burn it.
(Score:1, Flamebait)
Did anyone else see the humor in this?
We're just going to keep milking this one, aren't we?
I am officially gone from
I've always thought it would be cool to have a sprinkler-like system of laser beams mow the grass once a day.
Downsides:
1) Lawn must be perfectly flat
2) Safety precautions needed
3) Possible fires
But still. Lasers, eh?
They must have switched to goats after the GNU Hurd ran away...
That's weird -- your sig implies that you are not a Mac user...
Shoulda spelled it quewe
it behooves us to stop making these jokes
I would imagine that in order to protect their jobs, the lawnmowers would actively track down the kids and destroy them - while kids don't eat much grass when they are really young, as adult goats the eat a lot more and represent serious competition.
Why is there an "insightful" mod and why isn't it "-1"? If I wanted insight, I wouldn't be reading
Yes, they weren't bread for Google.
And google should be getting paid to feed thew goats, not the other way around.
Wait, the goats are getting paid to feed google? I knew there was a goatburger subplot in there somewhere!
Rampant carbon sequestration destroyed the Dinosaurs' tropical paradise. I'm here to help repair the damage.
Nah, sooner or later that would get cheesy.