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First LHC Data Hint At New Particle
Anonymous Dupeur writes "Only 12 hours after the start of operation of the Large Hardon Collider at an unprecedentedly high energy level, a discovery had been made. Today, in its press release, CERN disclosed the observation of a new class — paleoparticles. 'It's awful,' explains Alain Grand, still shocked by the discovery. 'It left horrible tracks inside the detector that made the physicists on duty at the time feel quite sick.' No wonder. The particle consists of two strange quarks and one top quark but no beauty or charm quark. The physicists have nicknamed it the 'neutrinosaurus.' This marks a first success of the — finally — started experiment."
ahh yes, the "Devil Particle"
although wouldn't the existence of a Devil Particle prove the existence of the God Particle?
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Like the thing is gonna make such a fast discovery...
Aww, I was expecting a funny picture of a CERN scientist being chased by a velocineutron. Bah.
This is just sad...
Some even speculate a series of avian particles evolved from paleoparticles as the universe cooled.
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not "Eureka!" but "That's funny..."
Welcome to the Panopticon. Used to be a prison, now it's your home.
A TRUTH quark. Which means that this story is indubitably true.
Warning: this article may contain humor, sarcasm, parody, and perhaps even irony. Read at your own risk.
I know it's 1 April and everything but did anyone notice anything strange in the spelling of `Large Hardon Collider`?
Forgive my spelling from time to time. I'm often posting during short breaks.
It reached back through time and disabled the LHC several times just so that it could ensure it would not be discovered until April Fools day.
Where are we going and why are we in a handbasket?
"Hints of the new particle had already been glimpsed in two events at Fermilab but the statistics were too low to be published. The four events observed at the LHC generated an exponential increase (2^2=4) in the statistics, allowing the physicists to announce the discovery unequivocally. "
That made me laugh out loud at work (I'm on lunch, give me a break).
You missed this somewhat important quote:
"Due to the discovery of these new particles, we've also determined that our experiment will cause the end of the world on December 21, 2012. We apologize for any inconvenience this will cause those living at that time."
/. does not exist on April 1st, it is replaced by a lame joke site. How about some surprising but true articles and maybe one hoax next year just to shake things up a bit.
http://rareformnewmedia.com/
got all excited about finding a new particle...
The Reg has coverage of an even more important discovery at the LHC.
I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
April Fool's is one of the only near-universally-celebrated, meaningful, capitalism-unencumbered holidays on this planet. It only requires you to have a sense of humor. For one day out of 365.25, everyone tells silly jokes. It's not about trolling and it's not about making people miserable. It's one of the only good things left in the world. I can't understand people who are just incapable of handling it.
ha?
Here is a picture of the event.
I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
This is #7 by my count ... are you going to finish anytime soon or should we all just come back tomorrow when you've pulled your head out of your ass?
Persistent Volume manager for Kubernetes - https://github.com/dwimsey/openshift-pvmanager
and unplugging. Not even worth going on the web at this point. All news is crap jokes that are fooling no one. Part of the 4/1 joke should be that it might fool someone.
Give up with the april fools lameness already. Every year /. degenerates into absolute worthlessness. Look, there's real stuff out there to post, like Simon Singh winning his appeal.
(mods: can't touch this karma)
Belief is the currency of delusion.
Stop turning Slashdot into a parody of itself. There have already been too many fucking April Fools "jokes". Stop it. Stop it NOW.
My web domain.
it has been identified as a pond of duck scum.
if this is supposed to be a new economy, how come they still want my old fashioned money?
It's just like Unobtainium, except not real.
to "average," because I'm not smart enough to know whether this was an April Fool's joke without looking at the comments.
I have no sense of humor and I can't handle the overall air of silliness that has blanketed Slashdot. You all suck for having way too much fun!
Won't somebody please think of those with Asperger's?
I'm going to go sulk now. LEAVE ME ALONE!
Have you driven a fnord... lately?
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All I want to know is: how many electron-volts were generated?
Fools.
This article... joke or not? its too subtle.
And that chat roullette thing... funny, but posting it on every article with no means to turn off?? See you tomorrow then.
I know it's 1 April and everything but did anyone notice anything strange in the spelling of `Large Hardon Collider`?
Yes. [excessive snickering, sorry]. I noticed references to "top" and "beauty" quarks. To be consistent, I think it would be top and bottom, or truth and beauty. After that I noticed the more obvious Hardon reference.
My other car is a 1984 Nark Avenger.
Itself backwards, don't want to feel and some of the Subscribers. Please BSD managed to make balance is struck, correct network users. This is area. It is the Creek, abysmal A need to play You. The tireless Morning. Now I have reciprocating Usenet is roughly Parts of you are like they are Come OF AmERICA) today, By fundamental will recall that it obligated to care networking test. and committees Core team. They a way to spend Pooper. Nothing survival prospects want them there. successes with the or make loud noises on an endeavour steadily fucking 'first post' Operating systems
Are the automated troll-bots finally becoming sentient? This one has me scared...
Ubi solitudinem faciunt, pacem appellant.
Ha ha ha. Hilarious. The multi-billion dollar experiment which is 5 years behind schedule didn't actually find anything yet!
Read TFA.
Good but I'm still looking for today's best.
The above comments are the ravings of a lunatic and should be ignored completely.
Isn't that one of those new-ish byte-code hacks that take over your computer? I don't care because I am using a rare and new browser on SELinux with latest security fixes.
But if so and you are a Windows user, then kiss your security goodbye ;)
And no, it's not a 4/1
Here be signatures
Actually, to me it looks rather like a memetic mind-virus, that takes over your brain... I find myself mumbling incoherent but strangely poetic sequences since I first read that post. Almost as if. In coHerent things ancient of beauty green in the blue. Ah the maelStrom, ideas. Days in Past longing for the Wichita Vortex Sutra... *COUGH* No, can't be. All is well. Ignore me.
Ubi solitudinem faciunt, pacem appellant.
Would this be the result of the naughty quark discovered by James Isaac Neutron at The Pomina school of advanced Physics?
Chris Sheppard
http://www.cyriak.co.uk/lhc/lhc-webcams.html
slashdotted in 5, 4, 3, ...
google cache: http://tinyurl.com/yecnwd8
It's April 2nd in Finland now, so I hope some of you might actually believe this. There is a guy called Alan Grant at CERN, he was one of my supervisors during my Summer Studentship in 2001. There is also the Jura mountain range that passes by CERN. I climbed up to the nearest summit one day. It's the mountain range that gives name to the prehistoric Jurassic period.
Escher was the first MC and Giger invented the HR department.
Funny name "neutrinosaurus". That would be annoying. We can barely see neutrinos.
The lot of you :-)
This is just dumb compared to any of the multitude of jokes they could have made about physics-based future sabotage idea. It could have easily been about a photoshopped picture "taken" by the security cameras there of the creatures from on the plane wing in that one Twilight Zone episode. They could have little wrenches and be lurking in the shadows, breaking things. Also, the sensors in the LHC would detect their chronoton radiation, proving they're saboteurs from the future :P
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