Slashdot Mirror
Girl Claims Price Scanner Gave Her Tourette's Syndrome
Attorneys for Dominica Juliano claim that she was burned and developed psychological problems after a store clerk aimed a hand-held price scanner at her face. Store attorneys say their scanners uses a harmless LED light and that the girl had serious health problems before she was scanned. From the article: "Dominica Juliano was 12 when she and her grandmother entered the Country Fair store in Erie in June 2004. A clerk allegedly called the girl 'grumpy' before flashing his hand-held bar code scanner over her face and telling her to smile. Attorneys for Ms. Juliano and her guardian say the girl was sensitive to light and burned, and later developed post-traumatic stress and Tourette's syndrome."
"You're grumpy" *beep* OOOh...Sick burn!
...just point a laser at the back of her head in court.
Who else wants to show up with a laser pointer?
I'm betting we can chase her away from entering the court house...
-- Terry
Maggie Simpson is going to have a terrible case of Tourette's after being scanned every week for the past ~20 years.
There's no -1 for "I don't get it."
The article doesn't explain that it was the combination of LEDs and WiFi that causes this psychological problem. That or vaccines plus violent video games.
It's even more annoying, considering a judge threw out my case against my city's bus service. I was splashed in the face by a puddle in the bus station, where I was picking up some hookers. Next day: BAM. Herpes.
--
I rate your quaint troll as follows:
2/10
That is all.
fuck you!
Mod me down, my New Earth Global Warmingist friends!
Because judges aren't generally empowered to prevent a case from going to trial because they don't believe the facts alleged. A judge can prevent a case from going to trial because the facts alleged, if viewed in the light most favorable to the plaintiff, don't support a legal cause of action.
And, of course, the light here is definitely not favorable to the plaintiff.
Need a Python, C++, Unix, Linux develop
How SHOULD the checker treat someone who creates costumes?
Hrmm, according to current popular opinion vampires just sparkle in light, and it has to be sunlight not visible light LEDs.
...
Oh and never mind that Tourettes is an inherited neuropsychiatric disorder.
The laser was obviously set to stunt.
Ezekiel 23:20
Forget that, the simple matter that this is not possible should prevent it. It would be like me suing you for my migraines because I believe your invisible unicorn witch put a hex on me.
NUTSACK
So shine the light on her again.
And don't forgot the old-school favorite, where a cosmic Jewish zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.
If someone would believe that, why wouldn't they believe that a 1-milliwatt laser could burn them?
She's lucky: if, instead of an LED she was exposed to a microwave and non-dairy creamer, she could've been turned into a mouse!
sic transit gloria mundi
Vampires are dead and therefore have no legal rights.
You insensitive clod!
They're not dead, they're Vitality Impaired!
And now we know the secret of how vampires never seem to want for money. It's not prudent investments carried out over an endless unlife combined with their ability to derive nourishment from the blood of unwilling victims rather than paying for food and drink. Nowadays they just get a store clerk to burn them with an ultra low power LED scanner, curse a bit, then sue for enough money to support themselves indefinitely.
$_ = "wftedskaebjgdpjgidbsmnjgcdwatb"; tr/a-z/oh, turtleneck Phrase Jar!/; print
And give her ebola and plantar fasciitis? Are you out of your mind?
Haida Manga
No soup for you!
Have gnu, will travel.
Paying taxes gave me Tourette's Syndrome. While I'm writing the check I curse uncontrollably. I wonder if I should sue.
Oliver's law of assumed responsibility: If you're seen fixing it, you will be blamed for breaking it.
you know, IANAL, but I think you should try it, and let us know how that one goes. For science and whatnot.
I've decided to Diversify my Holdings. I've divided my cash between my left and right pockets, instead of all in one.
Plenty of people live normal, albeit occasionally vulgar, lives with this disorder. Nothing to see here, move on....
Um, I hate to be the first to point this out, but it's pretty obvious that this girl is a vampire.
Literalism isn't a form of humor, it's you being irritating.
It's spelled "Gordon Ramsay" you **** ****ing ***hole piece of ****.
There's no -1 for "I don't get it."
Should of told them you were clinically depressed and trying to refuse service to you was a violation of you ADA rights and you are going to sue them for the damages inflicted.
Apocalypse Cancelled, Sorry, No Ticket Refunds
That happened to you too? I smell class action.
Electronics causing (or at least triggering) a genetic disorder? It happens a lot. I know several people who have developed Tourettes after a few short hours of Mario Kart.
Darn. Does that mean all this ranting and arguing was for nothing? The judge didn't even consult us before making his decision? Can we sue for that?
When I was in 5th grade I shot a kid using this principle. I loaded a test tube with water and stuck a thin straw into it; surrounded it with ice water; and then poured in a load of salt in the surrounding water. A stream of water jetted from the tube as it froze into a spike, which stabbed some kid. I lol'd. Slowest firearm ever, and ineffective at a distance over 5 inches anyway... my chem teacher was impressed and horrified at the same time.
Support my political activism on Patreon.