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North Korea Develops Anti-Aging "Super Drink"
__roo writes "According to North Korea's official news agency, a drink produced by North Korea's Moranbong Carbonated Fruit Juice Joint Venture Company can cure aging and all disease. 'It, with effects of both preventive and curative treatment, helps improve mental and retentive faculties by multiplying brain cells. It also protects skin from wrinkles and black spots and prevents such geriatric diseases as cerebral hemorrhage, myocardium and brain infarction by removing acid effete matters in time.' It also has no side-effects." Last month North Korea announced its fusion breakthrough, and now it has a super drink. One can only imagine what wonders may come in July — perhaps self-buttering toast.
It's called beer goggles.
"Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past." -- George Orwell
About who's going to succeed Kim Jong-Il, then.
No different than the food supplements in America. They make all these claims and then some.
It will also make your penis grow in size, will make your erection last longer, and your orgasms more intense.
No wonder he hasn't changed a bit since 10 years.
Because Chinese love the drink?
"The average reporter we talk to is 27 years old......They literally know nothing." - Ben Rhodes
But self-buttering toast that lands butter-side UP when dropped, every time, meaning they have developed a small anti-Murphian field that envelops each slice of toast.
Next, this Anti-Murphian field will be generated on a larger scale and will be developed as an active defense, meaning that anything that can go right will go wright.
However, the device will be immediately outlawed and everyone involved in the project killed once Kim Jong-Il realizes that if he ever got in the vicinity of an anti-Murphian field he would be instantly deposed or killed.
"This post contains words, known to the State of California to cause thought. Wash brain thoroughly after reading."
... he still hits a hole-in-one every day!
It's Linux, damnit! Pay no attention to renaming attempts by self-aggrandizing blowhards.
and it didn't work out too well.
Now all they need to do is come up with a drink which protects against death by starvation and torture and the North Korean people will have something to celebrate.
c.
Log in or piss off.
The Wright-Murphy feud is almost as famous as the Hatfield-McCoy... no, wait, I think you are just trying to start something!
Let me fire the first salvo, I'll make up something...
Wright's Law: If something can go right, it will, for someone else.
This issue is a bit more complicated than you think.
I'm waiting for Kevin Trudeau to release a book titled, "Nuclear Fusion secrets THEY don't want you to know."
Non impediti ratione cogitationus.
The real question is, has it got electrolytes?
Many of you are familiar with he earth-at-night photo.
Well did you ever take a look at North Korea? They don't have electricity, much less health care.
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In all seriousness, these are warning signs that things are going to get very nasty in the Korean Peninsula very soon.
When a totalitarian regime plays the "we are being victimized by the rest of the world" card in their nationalistic propaganda, the people will generally believe it and will unite in support of the leader, sometimes for decades. But when a regime tries to stoke the nationalistic fires by playing the "we are the greatest country in the world" card and making impossible promises of how gloriously successful they will be in the coming years, promises that will very quickly be seen by everyone as the bullshit they are, something's gonna happen and it's gonna happen soon.
http://alternatives.rzero.com/
At an art museum in Europe, an Englishman, a Frenchman, and a North Korean stand before a painting of Adam and Eve holding an apple in the Garden of Eden. The Englishman says: "The man has something tasty to eat and is eager to share it with the woman. Based on that, I would conclude that they're rather obviously English..." The Frenchman says: "I disagree. They're walking around entirely naked, so they must be French..." The North Korean says: "There is no doubt in my mind that they're North Korean. They have no clothes to wear, barely anything to eat, and they still think they're in heaven!"
It's got what slaves crave.
.
Prisencolinensinainciusol. Ol Rait!
They could really benefit from a drink that makes people aware of how outlandish they sound.
So they've basically developed the anti-soju! sweet
You drink it, and it kills you. If you're dead, you don't age anymore, and dead things technically can't contract diseases.
Are YOU using the TOOL, or is the TOOL using YOU? Think about it!
Don't worry. Even if that happens, Jobs will come out with a 4G, coal-powered phone, and still convince everyone it's worth queuing all night and paying twice as much for.
I have no doubt in my mind that this is a hint of opressed press: The Great Comrade Kim Jong Il is old, sick and soon to die. And here is a reason: in 1952-53 when Stalin was on his deathbed, official press maintained that "The Father of All Nations" was in the greatest health of all. However, sometime around that time, hints appeared all over the press, such an article that was published in Pravda that claimed that there is a rumor that Georgians live way past 130 years. The average Soviet people would then read it, conclude that it is impossible, and then realize what the paper really meant to say "between the lines".
"It, much higher than quality cosmetics in anti-oxidation capacity, is efficacious for different skin diseases, including allergic dermatitis. It also makes skin fair. "The drink has no side-effect."
It's a fruit juice drink that turns your skin white, but has no side effects....eh?
Last month they announced their fusion breakthrough, and now they have a super drink. One can only imagine what wonders they will reveal in July, perhaps self buttering toast.
Bah. Wake me up when North Korea announces that they are going to release "Duke Nukem Forever."
Andrew Borntreger
Champion of cinematic disasters
We laugh at the ridiculous claims of the famous "pigmy" leader's regieme whilst falling victim to the same scam in our own backyard. Look at the weight loss scam products that are out there that have spawned almost a billion dollar industry. It would seem that these shady product vendors bring a product to market long enough to make a large sum of money before being discovered as, at best inefffective and at worst, outright fraud. I find it funny that we laugh at the "Super Drink" while we become easily duped by advertisements on TV that claim super weight loss.
I believe their already doing this over they're.
[Rent This Space]
Also, lets look at the Populatation denistiy stats:
NK 199 people per sqkm
US 32 people per sqkm
SK: 489 people per sqkm
Despite NK having 6 times the population density.... they manage to have only one respecible dot. Mean while, there's SK, with 2.5 times the population of NK. And they have dots everywhere...
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