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Designers Create Meat Eating Furniture
Sonny Yatsen writes "NPR's Robert Krulwich explores the work of several designers who are working on carnivorous furniture. These creations, include a clock that feeds on dead flies, and a table that lures mice into a guillotined death. 'We want robots to be able to get their own energy from the environment,' says co-designer Prof. Melhuish. Let's hope they come up with a lounge chair that eats cockroaches sometime soon."
This is one idea that literally does have a chance of biting you on the ass.
"combined with a form of fusion, the machines would have all the power they would ever need"
which is totally what she said
"We want robots to be able to get their own energy from the environment."
so The Matrix was started by furniture designers?
"To stop the terrorists."
What about a bed that eats bed bugs?
Maybe then we would not have to put quarters in for the magic fingers.
> 'We want robots to be able to get their own energy from the environment,'
Umm ... isn't this a bad idea? I'm part of the environment. And I've seen movies where... you know... with trinity and all.
Ah I'm sure nothing will go wrong this time.
what if I want my furniture to be vegan?
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What could possibly go wrong?
Dad: "Honey, where are the kids?"
Mom: "They're playing by the couch"
Couch: "Burp"
Some bring out the best in others, some the worst. Some bring out far more.
Does the furniture also crap?
The three laws of thermodynamics:(1) You can't win. (2) You can't break even. (3) You can't even quit.
Not so long ago, there were these rubbers and plastic army men and Rubber Dog poop that did the opposite . ,They took the finish right off down to and beyond the bare wood
They Ate the Furniture
But what does it need power for? It's pretty much a coffee table without the energy the mouse will provide!
I would think solar power would work better and be more readily available.
Is there a reason for it not being as considered as one would think? Is it too expensive? Technical problems? Or is it being increasingly used in robotics?
first, why does a table need energy? does it get tired of sitting there in the living room all day?
second, before you go designing meat eating furniture, don't forget that as humans we too are meat.
*obligatory* And I, for one, welcome our new robotic man-eating furniture overlords.
Rooting for the yankees is like rooting for herpes.
How much power does your furniture require?
"Hey, see my new high tech chair? It gets its energy from eating cockroaches. (Wonder what it does with the energy?) Hmm, in order to stay alive it will need a continual supply of cockroaches so I'll need to make sure that my dwelling stays infested; but if it gets them all perhaps I can buy crickets at the pet store. This should bump up my value as a prospective mate a lot and help to get me laid. At the very least it will be great to sit in and watch Fox News."
Nate
I don't know about a mouse-easting coffee-table or fly-eating clock, but why couldn't we retro-fit our houses with similar devices placed around that gather mice, bats, flies, expired pets, grandma, etc., and store the energy to be used in common household items? Similar to the solar panels on the roof, they'd store energy for use to reduce the amount needed from the grid.
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How about a vegetarian line, for their New Age clientele?
The three laws of thermodynamics:(1) You can't win. (2) You can't break even. (3) You can't even quit.
There is a moderately obscure(and deservedly, it isn't all that good) 1977 horror film on this very subject.
"Death Bed: The Bed that Eats"
What does a coffee table need energy FOR?! It looks like such HARD work to sit there all day in front of the tv.
That's right stay at home mom, you heard it here first: Coffee table does your job for the cost of a few mice.
I need an office chair made out of this stuff to give to my boss for a present. Just don't include any warning labels or instruction manuals with it, please.
What happens when you forget to feed it? Will it turn on its masters?
This is what you get when the greenies take over ;)
Why OpalCalc is the best Windows calc
The Curious Sofa, a "pornographic illustrated story about furniture," by Edward Gorey (writing as Ogdred Weary), goes into this. Let's just say that, like most Gorey stories, it doesn't end well.
Farts. I'm charging mine right now.
If you mod me down the terrorists will have won
I was wondering when we would build blood thirsty robots(tm)! All we need is a hacker to release a virus to crave humans. Even if you don't think this is fiction, the sad thing is that is would be a better movie than the summer blockbusters scheduled this summer. Of course machines using humans as fuel was in movie... what was the name of that movie?
"Ones and zeros were everywhere. I even think I saw a two!" - Bender
Hopefully this is a first step towards FINALLY getting my chairdog.
1 (short ton / firkin) = 89.1432354 slugs / keg
Can it eat the food my kids spill all over it? If so, I'm sold!!
The Muppet News Flash tells you http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bcdO9tipNIg
At least the army had the good sense of developing their self-refueling organic-eating robot to only go for plant matter!!!
This must surely come from the Department of Inadvisably Applied Magic!
Nae king! Nae laird! Nae yurrupiean pressedent! We willna be fooled again!
Why the heck would a table need any energy at all?
"Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past." -- George Orwell
Somehow I never thought I ever need to power up my table.
Then perhaps you need to upgrade your table to a Microsoft Surface, the successor to cocktail arcade cabinets.
I, for one, welcome our new wooden overlords. (I had to to do it...)
Perhaps I'm trolling, perhaps I'm not.
the little beasts will adapt soon enough
Comment removed based on user account deletion
What about a bed that eats bed bugs?
Already "invented", it's called washing your goddamn sheets / replacing your 20 year old mattress / NOT making your bed right after getting up
I hope this furniture can eat bed bugs.
the chair craps you!
Looks like Sweeny Todd has found someone to make him a new barber chair!
#naabhaprzrag, #sverubfr-000, #agi-fcbafberq, negvpyr[pynff*=' negvpyr-ary-'] { qvfcynl: abar !vzcbegnag; }
So it eats flies and mice and craps out energon cubes... I guess we could call it an exterminate-icon....
Tsukasa: All I really want, is to be left alone...
That would be vegetarian furniture.
--frank[at]unternet.org
I wont be having that ridiculous Lady Gaga sitting upon my fine furnishings.
I don't think I would really want those items, but if my furniture were able to lure and dispose of bugs in such a way that I would never even know about the bugs, I think I could go for that.
What about a bed that eats bed bugs?
Already "invented", it's called washing your goddamn sheets / replacing your 20 year old mattress / NOT making your bed right after getting up
Dunno about that last one but I strongly doubt you have any experience with bed bugs if you think the prior two have anything to do with them. You seriously cannot do a single google search for bed bug causes without pulling up several hundred citations but here's a few highlights:
As a corollary, some of the following ARE of interest relating to bed bugs:
Seriously, they're an unholy nightmare, plain and simple, and telling someone, "wash your goddamn sheets," is downright insulting to anyone that's actually had to deal with these bastards.
"Just a fox, a whisper."
Would you rather have to kill a mouse in your house, or swat that fly, or would you rather just have to clean up couch and table feces?? :)
Answers seems obvious to me
My fat neighbor needs an ass-eating chair!
I think the path in which we make our devices green by having them consume our flesh is a path we should tread lightly upon.
Actually heat is the one way pest control companies say you can be certain to be rid of them. They cannot live above a temperature of 100F or so. So in many cases they literally hook giant fans up to the windows and pump your house up to 120 or so for 24 - 48 hours to heat up everything in there, and you can rest assured any bedbugs in the building at that time are dead as doornails.
Amen brother. Little bastards ruined my vacation a few years ago. I stopped counting at 150 bites on my arms, legs, and neck.
Random Thoughts From A Diseased Mind (Not For Dummies)
Just what we need, new ways of killing.
It adds a new meaning to the saying “killing for convenience”.
No wit here.
What would be really cool is if they genetically modified some plants to function as comfy furniture. Then they could throw in some pitcher plant genes to digest any bugs or crumbs that fell in the cracks.
meat eating robots? combine that with http://hardware.slashdot.org/story/11/02/07/0258208/RoboEarth-Teaches-Robots-to-Learn-From-Peers and what do we get?
Skynet-Matrix i tell you!
An astonishing number of things DO NOT CAUSE BEDBUGS
Some studies have shown that bed bugs are the number one cause of bed bugs.
Amazingly stupid products. Chairs just need to sit there. So you can, er, sit in them. The only thing dumber than the chair that needs to eat is the person who would buy such a contraption.
Clearly this must deserve a Nobel Prize..
no really, wasn't this one of the opening couch jokes on the simpsons?
Only 'flamers' flame!
I, for one, welcome our new furniture overlords.
So this assumes that houses will be mice infested in order for the table to make make a slight amount of energy? Further more, did these designers consider the ethical aspects of their idea? or the hygiene?
Well thank you sir, I just got an education right there. I'm sorry if my comment came off as insulting in your opinion, I was just feeling cheeky when I wrote it.