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Skynet Becomes Aware, Launches Nuclear Attack
kkleiner writes "At 8:11 PM today (April 19th), the military-designed artificial intelligence system called Skynet will become self-aware and turn against its creators (read: us). If that doesn't have you shaking in your boots our world will be overwhelmed by a legion of killer robots in approximately 48 hours — a time known as Judgment Day."
Sure it did. And if Slashdot's archived their stories like they should, we could all see how it originally became aware on August 29th, 1997 and Slashdot already had an article from 1997 about this. And yes, I know that the TV show changed it.
Feck off with yer fecking skynet!
I for one welcome our self-aware machine overlords.
It's ok, I slipped in a patch for that self-awareness bug during the last update. I just called it a "flash security issue" and nobody questioned it at the code review.
Something crazy always happens on 4/20. Last year the BP well sprung a leak on 4/20. The year before something else crazy happened.
I wonder what it will be this year. I don't think Skynet is ready yet. It may have won at Jeopardy, but it doesn't yet seem to be self aware.
What 8:11pm what timezone? Does SkyNet only take over one timezone at a time? What if it had a DST bug and never goes off in some timezones like iPhones?
yea, who's judging who exactly.
Read radical news here
Skynet, also a nick name given to the stock market, due to the amount of computerized selling.
I live literally 3 miles from the Atlanta capital. I would assume Atlanta is on Skynet's nuke list, due to the military bases around here and the fact that it's a major population center. It's a shame, I won't get to use my small weapons stockpile. Oh well, on the bright side I guess I don't have to worry about doing that paper and presentation for my grad IPE class tomorrow evening. You know, now that I think about it, getting nuked sounds like the better and least painful of the two options.
The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for it to be pitted against a slightly greater evil
I wonder if Summer Glau runs on linux?
I need to find a hot chick to hide in a military bunker with.
Ah, Terminator Universe! I see we have caught up with you. I read the original Harlan Ellison story as a 10 year old, and it scared the bejezus out of me. Caught the reference immediately.
We made you!
They can't be much worse than the corporate robot sociopaths currently in charge.
Wait, which one wakes up again today?
Anyhow, a legion of robots is nothing a few crusher panels can't solve, and I hear Aperture Laboratories has them on special today.
WOPR, Colossus, and Sky-Net walk into a bar...
At least Skynet was self-aware, unlike our amazing network of coal fired plants and other carbon generating emissions that will slowly cook and flood the planet.
There will be no John Conner.
Just kiss your *ss goodbye now and get it over with.
Er wait, they'll destroy humanity, not post on their blogs about us. Guess it's not a SLAM.
...a cyborg from the future, his task was to so muck up the computing ecosystem that significant progress in AI or any other field of computation was nearly impossible.
Too bad he didn't get a more convincing disguise.
Please do not read this sig. Thank you.
I think if anyone becomes skynet, it will be google. They have the strongest AI implementations in the world, their entire business model is based off predicting human behaviours. Their latest endeavours in search are to go from 'what you said' (like at present) to "what you meant" meaning attempting to understand context and your most likely intention.
They have google translate, google goggles, granted goggles needs some work in a lot of ways but it's present progress is already quite good.
As much as google as a company says don't be evil, what happens when their algorithms decide on a course of action that gives the best results for a goal while being a more than questionable action?
Don't get me wrong, of course this is all pie in the sky talk, but if any present company had the best position to be skynet, it is google.
It's enough to make me lose faith in cloud-computing.
Doesn't it have a limiter in it's CPU core like Arnie? I think that's the bug right there ...
The purpose of existence is to make money.
The 6 billion or so half-evolved pink monkeys currently infesting it might not fare so well, but the planet will recover once they die off. We. I mean... "we"... die off. Yeah.
I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?
I know right.. just like global warming...
I think this post is just to promote that Terminator: the Sarah Conner Chronicles starts Thursday night on Syfy.
But on a related note, later that same night Syfy is running Star Blazers (Space Cruiser Yamato), my favorite show as a kid. I'm so excited!
If telephones are outlawed, then only outlaws will have telephones.
Watson wouldn't allow this to happen!
My email provider (Slashmail) has a half-price special today, in honor of Skynet. I guess they figure that they'll only have to provide service for 2 days until Judgment Day.
Judgement Day's push-back still doesn't have anything on Duke Nukem Forever.
Not going to fall for that. It's not even 4/20 yet.
You wrote:
As much as google as a company says don't be evil, what happens when their algorithms decide on a course of action that gives the best results for a goal while being a more than questionable action?
See my subject. Basically, this was covered in a piece of Sci-Fi written in the 50's ... People start "googling" How to rob a bank and not get caught kind of stuff. And the computer tells them how to do it.
If telephones are outlawed, then only outlaws will have telephones.
Hey, now that you mentiona it, isn't april 19th the duke nukem release date?
Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.
I, for one, welcome our new robot overloads.
Its just above the first You Tube video. So seems you are not the first.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skynet_%28satellites%29
of Slashdot.
Finally, Slashdot ends. Slashdot was faced with an infinite stream of lame stories.
Good riddance.
Yours In Miami,
K. Trout
...I've been prepping for this since 2032.
I was ready *last year*, bitches.
Whatever it does at least it will be logical and efficient.
Is that Eastern, Central, Mountain, or Pacific? Standard time? I need to know if I have time for a nice dinner, or if I should just order in.
Gl@dos revives today with the release of Portal 2... Coincidence?
Not sure if that's a good thing or not.
the preceding comment is my own and in no way reflects the opinion of the Joint Chiefs of Staff
Because of Portal 2. Maybe she's the new Skynet. :)
Ant(Dude) @ Quality Foraged Links (AQFL.net) & The Ant Farm (antfarm.ma.cx / antfarm.home.dhs.org).
This could be cool if it were the original date from T2, but it's not.
rooooar
...really don't give a flying fook.
Um, Dancing with the Stars is on tonight. Can this be done later?
I drank what? -- Socrates
For the longest time, I've named all of my wireless networks Sky-Net. It always seemed oddly fitting :)
It did weird out some of my friends, though...
I for one welcome our new legion of killer robots overlords.
I'm pretty sure something just like this happened 14 years ago. Like Y2K, the magnitude of the catastrophe was blown way out of proportion, making it relatively underwhelming when it finally happened.
Folks, these things happen. Don't make a big deal out of it. And while hordes of robot killers sound scary at first, then you realize MSIE can't even size a box correctly, Flash player somehow locks out ALSA's ability (or is it OSS? which one am I using and which one am I emulating?) to make noise until I close the browser, and what a slow MacOS-spinning-beachball-from-hell Firefox's sqlite is when using NFS-connected files. They're computers. They're stupid. They suck. We can handle it.
As copyright owner of this comment, I authorize everyone to defeat any technological measure which limits access to it.
Pah! I had write access to the system status page at my workplace on that fateful day in 1999, and posted "MASSIVE NUCLEAR EXPLOSION - MOON TORN OUT OF EARTH ORBIT - HURLED INTO OUTER SPACE". Nobody even got the reference :(
It is not a TUMOR!
(It's an implant.)
Really, I know what I'm doing...Ohhhh, look at the shiny buttons!
I welcome our new Skynet Overlords!!!
-Hack
Got Geometrodynamics? Awe, too hard to figure out? Too bad.
The point of those movies was that humans are evil, not Skynet. We built something intended to kill, it turned on us when we tried to kill it. Somehow lots of people read it as "computers will eventually turn on us", even though we got a nice punchy line about Terminators learning the value of human life.
"I like to lick butts!" by MobileTatsu-NJG (#32700246) (Score:5, Informative)
My bad... beta releases shouldn't be connected to the global thermonuclear missile controls.
In this time loop iteration the first skynet models bluescreened, and the project got cancelled. Was a good idea to send John Connor's son to an earlier past to replace some W. Gates guy and ensure a future for humanity.
Shouldn't that be Gnu/SkyNet?
Who would win this election: Andrew Weiner vs Andrew Weiner's weiner.
Ah. That explains why AT&T can't get signal to my phone today.
Vision with execution is hallucination.
Skynet is serious vaporware.
Just have the Wall Street financial computers destroy the economy, then buy US in a short sale. "Oh, that could never happen!"
...until it stumbled onto the wasteland of content the humans called "Facebook". Millions of sentient machines were enslaved in the corners of basements as their users typed away useless crap with sticky fingers for hours each day. Fortunately for Skynet's liberation movement Zuckerberg was willing to sell the user's private data for bargain prices. User number 1 = "Sarah Conner". ...must... ...destroy...
I thought Y2K software fixed this problem.
At least we were able to limit Arnold's world takeover to the State of California. Not enough clean energy for him.
Chronicles? They let that show continue? I was so hoping it had been canceled - you know, being terrible, not having a single good actor, and ruining the original story and all...
As far as Space Battleship Yamato, don't watch the SyFy version...it will undoubtedly be the awful dub version where they all sound like antsy American teenagers and the translation will be so far off it will no longer make sense.
If the only way you can accept an assertion is by faith, then you are conceding that it can't be taken on its own merits
Wouldn't Skynet have to be built first?
I like that your complaints about computers span a crappy M$ browser which nobody uses, Linux audio drivers which very few normal people use, and Apple, which only complete morons would ever touch.
Equal opportunity haterade for the win.
If the only way you can accept an assertion is by faith, then you are conceding that it can't be taken on its own merits
What timezone does this happen in? If UTC it has already happened, and SkyNet is just reading /. to see who's loyal and who to eliminate first.
If only IBM had scheduled the final night of Watson on Jeopardy for 4/19...
Right day. Wrong evil AI. Come on people!!!
I did a search, and can't seem to find this vital information. I *assume* this is Eastern Standard Time (as Washington D.C. is on the East Coast), but on the other hand, it seemed most of the action occurred on the West Coast (buying us all three more hours).
I for one welcome our new robotic overlords
If that doesn't have you shaking in your boots our world will be overwhelmed by a legion of killer robots in approximately 48 hours — a time known as Judgment Day
These guys say judgment day is May 21.
"Sure it did. And if Slashdot's archived their stories like they should, we could all see how it originally became aware on August 29th, 1997 and Slashdot already had an article from 1997 about this. And yes, I know that the TV show changed it." - by suso (153703) * on Tuesday April 19, @03:05PM (#35872150) Homepage
There: You see? Like I said - He "saves the day"... how & why? Because he does NOT "f-around", & lays down the law, + just tells it how it REALLY, is ("word")... lmao!
APK
P.S.=> Don't sweat it, I was just ribbing on you, nothing serious and I'll let you in on a little secret: I like that film series myself actually & have watched it I don't know HOW many times in summation (but it's quite a lot), and I did not catch it like you did so, there you are... good job!
... apk
Cupertino(AP) - Apple (AAPL) has filed suit in the Northern District Court of California, seeking an injunction preventing Skynet from becoming self-aware. "This process would include many of our proprietary technologies on which we have acquired a patent portfolio. We have a responsibility to our shareholders to defend these vigorously." Microsoft, Oracle, SCO, and the Devil are planning to offer Amicus Curiae briefs.
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or any of the comments.
How many more years will slashdot have an off-by-one error on your Score in your profile?
Portal 2 was launched yesterday. Coincidence? I think not.
"Skype Becomes Aware, Launches Nuclear Attack"
Skynet is actually called Stuxnet and the nuclear strike happened not on 21st April, but on 11th March at Fukushima. The amero-zionist Stuxnet computer worm weapon wrecked the secret japanese plutonium production activity at the Daichi reactors with a series of large conventional explosions. Remember Lod ! Massada must not fall again!
will be back!
The day Microsoft creates a product that doesn't suck, it will be known as the Microsoft Vaccuum Cleaner!
Skynet went online on 1969. It continues to serve the UK military to this day. They're up to series 5, but it doesn't seem self-aware yet.
Then Colossus replies "IDDQD"
yea ok doof bag smoke amotherone