Google CEO Larry Page Says "Nothing Seriously Wrong"

After Larry Page bowed out from some public appearances, reader Pigskin-Referee writes with the news that "Google Inc Chief Executive Larry Page has reassured employees about his health, but the company on Friday shed little additional light on an unspecified condition affecting his voice that will sideline him from two high-profile events in the coming weeks. Page told employees in an email on Thursday that there was 'nothing seriously wrong with me,' according to a source who had seen an internal staff memo. The 39-year-old Google co-founder sat out his company's annual shareholders' meeting on Thursday because he had 'lost his voice,' according to Google Executive Chairman Eric Schmidt, who informed attendees of the news at the start of the event."

Comments

I've heard that before.....

[Anonymous Coward]

Isn't that what Steve Jobs said in the beginning too?

Thanks for all the concern

[Anonymous Coward]

Poor Larry Page stubs his toe and Slashdot has it as front page news.

What else 'matters' for fucks sake.

Don't tell me there isn't a serious mancrush going on here.

I hate shareholders

[Anonymous Coward]

"Oh. My. GOD. HE'S NOT IMMORTAL! He suffers minor illnesses like we do! THE COMPANY IS DOOMED! DOOMED! DOOOOOOOOOOMED! Somebody reassure us he's not dead already! HE'S BEEN DEAD ALL ALONG, HASN'T HE?!? Why do these terrible things have to happen to us? Whyyyyyyyyyyyy"

God, do I hate shareholders.

Re:I hate shareholders

[ArchieBunker]

Honestly I'm convinced you could replace a typical CEO with either a monkey or magic 8 ball and get similar results.

Re:I hate shareholders

[timeOday]

It's not fair to say that about Larry Page though. He invented page-rank and co-founded google. They were college students and made their own servers in pizza boxes. The worthless CEOs come in later, demanding the same pay as the founders who built the company from nothing.

Re:I hate shareholders

[timeOday]

Correction, it was Duplo bricks.

Re:I hate shareholders

[petermgreen]

The blocks in that picture look more line mini mega blocks than duplo to me (stud pitch is the same but studs are taller)

Re:I hate shareholders

[kiwimate]

And I'm honestly convinced that if the typical Slashdotter or man-on-the-street who makes this kind of asinine comment were given free rein to replace a typical CEO they'd decimate the company's value within a month, if they didn't have half the top executives resign first.

What do you think it actually takes to run a company? Tell me - if it's that easy, this should be trivial. Here, I'll get you started:

* Knowledge of accounting - yes, you need this no matter what industry you're in. You simply MUST understand capital versus expense, A/R and A/P, GAPP, ratios, asset depreciation, etc. Yes, you have a CFO - but you'd better know what they're talking about
* Knowledge of risk management.
* Extremely detailed and extremely broad knowledge of the industry you're in.

no voice..

[TheGratefulNet]

no voice means Page has been reduced to ... (puts on sunglasses) ... a paragraph!

Re:no voice..

[zippthorne]

So.. does he have to make a stupid pun whenever he toggles his shades, or does he just toggle his shades whenever a snarky pun about the victim of the week comes to mind?

The former would explain why he wears them indoors so much, but then again, so would the glass-walled police station with huge banks of yellow lamps all over the place.

IRC

[K. S. Kyosuke]

Why can't the channel op voice him again?

Re:IRC

[Crasoose]

Maybe his fingers are broken too, that would explain why he hasn't posted any updates to his Google+ in a month.

Robot speak

[WilyCoder]

Lost his voice? That doesn't seem to make Hawking miss any meetings...

Re:Robot speak

[mcavic]

Yeah, but can you imagine Larry Page giving a meeting in Hawking's voice?

Re:Robot speak

[DrEldarion]

To be honest, it wouldn't be much different than his normal voice. Maybe he'd sound a little more robotic than froggy, I guess.

The conspiratorial side of this was getting silly

[jo_ham]

The suggestions that he wasn't really sick, or that perhaps he should be willing to be tracked by his new employee GPS locating thing in a vague hint that he wasn't in the hospital reminds me of some of the more outlandish stuff about Steve Jobs in the last years of his life.

He's just a guy, and sometimes people get sick. It doesn't spell doom and gloom, or a sudden change in fortune or prophetic suggestion about the company's fortunes. It just means the local chemist will sell a few more Lemsip boxes near his house.

Re:Mere speculation

[Anonymous Coward]

I'm guessing he was actually at a strip club in which he was writing off as a "business meeting".

If that had happened, him being in the club enjoying the show would be all over youtub... uhh, never mind.

This is news?

[slack_justyb]

Okay so he's got Laryngitis or something similar. Why the hell are people thinking this is news? I get Laryngitis from acid reflux from time to time, a couple of weeks Zantec usually clears it up, and I'm good for like the rest of the year.

I hate making Steve Jobs references, but I think news media is still hung up on mysterious health issues equaling pancreatic cancer or some similar terminal disease. Dude is unable to talk, and the company reports that it is not serious like most other health issues. For all we know the inability to speak is due to some contagious pathogen and he just wants to lay low so no one gets it, while he gets over it. I'm sure when Page was contemplating taking a leave of absence for a little spell, he didn't realize that he needed a press release to go along with it.

Of course there is the alternative theory could be that Page just had his meditation chamber installed and he's taking it for a spin. You know, if you're in that camp where Google is evil and all.

Re:This is news?

[Anonymous Coward]

Search giant CEO cant even find own voice, can you trust them to find your information?

Hear more on fox news at 11

Re:This is news?

[mjwx]

Okay so he's got Laryngitis or something similar.

This,

I've just gotten over a bout of the flu, at best I sounded like a 2 pack a day smoker, at worst you couldn't hear me properly 2 meters away. Its winter here in Oz but its entirely possible that he's just got the common cold, I've come back from the UK winter to Oz summer to get a cold 2 days after getting back.

it's probably just a common infliction that has caused his voice to be less then optimum, not like the cancerous fingers of Steve Jobs are grasping at him from beyond the grave.

Re:This is news?

[PCM2]

There is the part where it means he won't be able to address customers, shareholders, analysts, press, or the public at the aforementioned "high-profile events." One of those events would be Google I/O, the much-ballyhooed developer event that kicks off in San Francisco next week. I, for one, expected Google's CEO to appear at the keynote to unveil whatever it is they plan to unveil there -- that would seem to be the appropriate way to do it -- but I guess he won't. Page already has something of a reputation as a reclusive, nerdy guy who doesn't like to address the public.

Re:This is news?

[thePowerOfGrayskull]

What's odd about it is that he's not showing up for these events - not simply avoiding speaking, but not showing/planning to show at all.

I don't think there's a conspiracy though - I think it's just burn-out. The dude's gotten so far from where he's started and he's really got no way back. Happens to people who find themselves shoehorned into management when what they really want to be doing is tech.

Re:This is news?

[tomhath]

Larry Page has Laryngitis...hehe

Re:Butthurt.

[mordjah]

Solve p=np on a blackboard in an hour and you would be...

Reputation

[slasho81]

I'd have doubts if this statement came from almost any other CEO of a major company. But I believe Page.

Don't worry about health of billionaires.

[leftie]

Billionaires get GREAT heath care

Worry about everyone else's health care.

Page Should Take Inspiration from His Role Model

[RobotRunAmok]

Darth Vader did most of his best work after he lost his voice. I mean, c'mon, his focus is on Doing Evil, not singing friggin' madrigals, let's not make too much of this...

Larry has backup

[erice]

If Larry can't speak, it's not big deal to send in Sergey or Eric Schmidt. That's an advantage to rule by triumvirate. No single leader is indispensable. That is in sharp contrast to Apple where Steve Jobs was believed to be the on true voice and visionary of the company.

Re:Page Should Take Inspiration from His Role Mode

[Anonymous Coward]

You can take a page out of his life, but you can't take life out of Page.

Re:Butthurt.

[Anonymous Coward]

I'll eat your wife for free.

A suggestion

[Anonymous Coward]

He just needs to stop smoking those $1000 bills.

Re:Butthurt.

[mordjah]

Good point.. but still easy enough to parlay into bajillions (technical term) of dollars one would think.

Nothing wrong that a good ____ won't take care of?

[PolygamousRanchKid]

This sounds like a setup for a mediocre one liner:

"There is nothing seriously wrong with me, that a good _______ won't take care of"

Any suggestions . . . ? Google itself offered me this:

"there is nothing wrong with me that a little chocolate won't fix"

I am confident that Slashdotters are puerile enough to come up with something better.

Drat, trackpad pressed "submit"

[kiwimate]

Okay, starting again...

* Knowledge of accounting - yes, you need this no matter what industry you're in. You simply MUST understand capital versus expense, A/R and A/P, GAPP, ratios, asset depreciation, etc. Yes, you have a CFO - but you'd better know what they're talking about
* Knowledge of risk management.
* Extremely detailed and extremely broad knowledge of the industry you're in.
* Knowledge of the *market* of your industry
* Strong analytics
* Strong skills in prioritizing
* Ability to explain very technical aspects of your industry to the layman
* Strategic wisdom
* Be a motivator
* Know where to ask for answers if you don't have them
* Ability to keep your mouth shut when necessary (talking to politicians and lobbyists, for instance)

Re:Drat, trackpad pressed "submit"

[Areyoukiddingme]

I've seen my fair share of CEOs, in both megacorporations and tiny ones. Guess how many of those bullet points even the best of them actually has? I make it... two. And I'm being optimistic. What you're listing there is a wishlist, not typical reality.

Or are you honestly going to sit there and tell me "Developers developers developers developers" was motivating?

Re:Drat, trackpad pressed "submit"

[Raenex]

Extremely detailed and extremely broad knowledge of the industry you're in.

Is that why you get these vastly overpaid "superstar" CEOs that move from industry to industry? CEOs are incredibly overpaid for the supply and demand for their position, probably for a few reasons.

One, it's a single position so the company can afford to spend a lot. Two, there's a lot of quid pro quo going on with the foxes guarding the henhouse.

And three, people aren't good judges of how valuable a person really is, along with the psychology that the CEO is an important position, so it must be worth lots and lots of money, instead of trying to do some supply and demand and picking somebody from the ranks of senior management and giving them a decent salary and not an obscene one.

Re:Butthurt.

[reboot246]

She's 300 pounds and never bathes. You're welcome to it.

Re:Speaker...of the house.

[Dexter Herbivore]

A bad case of larrynpagitis?

How Watergate burglers got caught

[Latent Heat]

The recently retold story is that Squad 80 was supposed to respond to the call for help from the security guard dude about the break-in in progress. If Squad 80 pulled up to the Watergate with flashing lights and uniformed cops got out, the lookouts in the Ho Jo's would have tipped off the burglers. Squad 80 was nowhere to be found because the officers, OK, not in a strip club, but they were in some bar. Dispatch had to send a trio of undercover cops in place of the "uniforms." The lookouts call the burgler's on walkie-talkie radios, "Um, guys, what are you wearing?" "Business suits, why?" "Um, some guys who look like hippies are at your location with drawn guns."

Re:Butthurt.

[noh8rz4]

I'll eat your wife for free.

i'm not sure if he means cannibal-wise, or vagina-wise. Either way, no thanks!

Looks like they're trying to copy Apple again

[thetoadwarrior]

First Jobs kicks the bucket and now Page has to. Do they have no shame?

Live fast, die young, leave an emaciated corpse

[Beeftopia]

It's the Steve Jobs / Randy Pausch ("Last Lecture") effect. Relatively young, highly successful computing type suddenly laid low by pancreatic cancer. Folks can't help but speculate.

I Call Nose Job!

[IBitOBear]

Let's face it, when famous rich people "publically disapear" for a few weeks because of an "unspoken medical malady" but still have their regular e-presence, they've most likely "had work done."

Just wait three weeks and then tell him "it looks so natural, and your eyes don't look permanently surprised at all dude" when you see him next. 8-)

That or the problem is "unspeakable" for being trivially "yuchy", like a ruptured hemiroid.

It's really pointless to debate it all, as both serious and trivial/embarrassing malidies are bad for stock prices.

So even if its an emergency partial orchidectomy due to a newly realized mass, or its disasterously failed hair plugs, just pretend its a nose job being hidden. That's best for the economy no matter what.

If microsoft had used the 8ball

[IBitOBear]

Everything would be different, after all, the Magic 8-Ball has always known... Outlook not so good...

I'm not surprised

[dmesg0]

That's what happens to your throat when you eat Ice Cream Sandwich too much! Together with Frozen Yogurt!

Re:Page Should Take Inspiration from His Role Mode

[almitchell]

not singing friggin' madrigals

For this, you win the Internets.