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Microsoft Patents Virtual Handshakes, Hugs
theodp writes "'It can be tough to stay connected over long distances,' writes GeekWire's Todd Bishop. 'Yes, there's phone calls, texting, Facebook, Twitter, IM, video chatting and everything else. But what if you could give virtual hugs to each other using battery-powered, Internet-enabled pillows?' That — and more — is covered by Microsoft's newly-awarded patent on Force-Feedback Within Telepresence, the idea of using interactive, connected devices to bring physical interactions to long-distance communications. Readers of Ted Nelson's 1975 Computer Lib/Dream Machines can only imagine the interesting possibilities for Skype!"
I should patent virtual fuck-offs. FP.
There was a joke a while back about physically punching people through the computer screen, and today we have vibrators that work exactly like this (and vibrating underwear). Wouldn't that be prior art and an example of longdistance physical activity between people?
Cyberspace a hundred years ago included newspapers, telegrams and postal mail. Of course we gave virtual hugs and kisses with letters and telegrams: XX OO XXX OO
is the smiley patent, awarded to Microsoft.
http://www.zdnet.com/microsoft-frowned-at-for-smiley-patent-3039210396/
That could be used to get injunctions over any number of devices. Virtual handshakes and hugs have limited use cases, in my view.
If you keep throwing chairs, one day you'll break windows....
A rather literal take on the first step.
Hopes are high for the 'extend' part, but swiftly dwindle at the thought being virtually extinguished
I'll be interested when they patent this - http://www.bash.org/?4281
I claim public conception for the idea of giving someone a virtual kick in the ass!
This is not new, unique, or nontrivial. Unfortunately, that seems to be the rule rather than the exception for the USPTO.
Why did you link geekwire instead of The Patent?
Who will be the first to get a handjob?
Skype has a bug, it inverts the video so one person is right side up and one person upside down. Yes I know, you think I'm trolling and MS isn't so incompetent, but I promise you they really are that incompetent, they really did write an app that can't get both videos right way up:
http://community.skype.com/t5/Android/Upside-down-video-on-Android/td-p/478287
So they've got this idea that one person will wrap they arms around another via Skype, and perhaps give them a kiss, maybe a frenchie, ... get that tongue in
How can they patent something that's been known about for so long, even detailed descriptions and working prototypes?
There was an episode where Howard came up with a set of lips which two people could use to virtually kiss. How you kissed and tongued the lips would correspond to the other person.
I think there' prior art for this.
We will bankrupt ourselves in the vain search for absolute security. -- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Invalidate now!
I swear I remember hearing something about tech like this over 10 years ago. Something about two people wearing bracelets and you could tap them to send pulse messages? And I also think I remember something about remote control sex devices for long distance relationships? THROWDOWN!! The porn industry vs Microsoft!!
I am simply not going to pay Microsoft a license fee each time I hug someone.
Think of me when you shave your legs...
should be proving you have a working prototype of plausable design for one.
We need to stop letting these weasels just get patents for everything they can "think" of, or guess might be viable some day,and then steal the work from the persons who actually makes one a few years later, because they made a good.
I still don't like the idea you can own an idea.
So we can patent a virtual vagina! You know for use with your loved one where your out on long business trips (although it could also be used in conjunction with porn sites)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teledildonics
Silence is a state of mime.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Affective_haptics
Silence is a state of mime.
It's bad enough I have to sit down in a neutral zone and not multitask now that these days I'm expected to skype or some such with facetime. I usually do a lot of things on the when just speaking, like washing dishes, folding clothes, going to bathroom. But no. Now I have to sit there and do nothing at all. Now they want us to install robotic telefeedback mechanisms? Fuck get real.
This is not a new idea! Star Trek Holodecks used force feedback to make holograms appear solid. I don't think it matters that it was science fiction, the idea was out there for decades, it's not original.
You want a patent on virtual cunnilingus!
Virtual hugs and handshakes? Did anyone even question the obviousness here? What's next? Patenting a method by which we should arrive at 4 given that we're adding 2 and 2 or 3 and 1 or 4 and 0?
Wasn't there a Big Bang Theory episode that feature this technique?
Played many of them with hugs, handshakes, gropes, kisses and just about anything else you can imagine over the past 17 years. USPTO is full of shit and could mitigate this by doing a little fucking homework.
Chewbacon
The Bible is like Wikipedia: written by a bunch of people and verifiable by questionable sources.
Microsoft no longer has anything truly innovative to patent. They just want to become patent trolls.
There is precedent for patents being denied because of Sci-Fi prior art. The inventor of the waterbed was denied because of Heinlein.
Good-bye
This is already a commercial product, covered by exiting patents.
realtouchinteractive.com
The Mixed Reality Lab at Keio University in Tokyo, Japan did this in 2009 (linked post dated 2010/10/01, research presented on Popular Science's "The Future Of" television show in their The Future of Sex episode, aired in 2009.
The only reference to it remaining on the PopSci.com is Video: Japanese Robot Torso Hugs You Back dated 2011/06/23.
Use my userscript to add story images to Slashdot. There's no going back.
falcon punch/TCP/IP!
I think the trick will be getting that special person to wear the harness...
Someone wants the FUFMe real bad at MS.
Except prior art hasn't stopped M$ from patent trolling and making more money off android phones than Google does.
Did anyone else just envision a future Slashdot, except with fuzzy, warm hugs instead of mod points? Now I can see what this site has been lacking all this time... Thanks, Microsoft!
Not only is this stupid... I hope you see my Virtual hand giving your the Virtual finger(tm).
Oh wait maybe I should patent it.
No I will just (tm) it instead.
I assume after Halo 2, they had a patent on virtual tea bagging.
I'm pretty sure the Japanese have prior art. I remember reading an article awhile back about virtual kissing devices. Both people had robot lip and tongue devices connected via the net. I'm sure that couldn't be as nasty as it sounds.
But in any case, does this mean that Chuck Lorre owes Microsoft license fees? Or perhaps vice-versa?
Oliver's law of assumed responsibility: If you're seen fixing it, you will be blamed for breaking it.
(((((((((((((((((((((prior art!)))))))))))))))))))))
Shoes for Industry. Shoes for the Dead.
Surely they are not going to leave BJs, Hand Jobs, etc, off the patent.
The term is "Teledildonics".
I want to know what ...uh ... cums/comes closer than ... uh... those. Prior ... art ... to be sure.
Microsoft Bob and Clippy just won't die: "Your blog says you're sad; would you like a hug?"
Table-ized A.I.
anybody else familiar with the remote, internet connected haptic feedback petting jacket for chickens - a psychological study.