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J.J. Abrams To Direct Star Wars VII
azzkicker writes "It looks like J.J. Abrams will direct Star Wars VII. From the article: 'Sources have confirmed the Star Trek Into Darkness filmmaker will helm the next Star Wars movie, the highly anticipated installment in the landmark franchise scheduled to reach theaters in 2015."
Luke, Leia and Han are supercool heroes from a galaxy far, far away. And boy are they full of angst.
... is going to be killer.
"KAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHNNNN!"
(and this text goes in here because slashdot hates 1 word answers, even when they're totally awesome.)
#fuckbeta #iamslashdot #dicemustdie
So the same person is now in charge of both the Star Wars movies and the Star Trek movies?
I think i just felt a disturbance in the force, as if millions of fans involved in the never ending "which is better, Star Wars or Star Trek?" debates suddenly cried out in bewilderment and then their heads asploded.
This Space Intentionally Left Blank
This is not going to help explaining the differences to the Girlfriend when she says "Star Wars, Star Trek same thing..."
"The Star Wars franchise had a series of movies starting a bit over 30 years ago. They are about to make some new ones. The guy who did Lost is going to direct them. . Where as Star Trek had a series of movies starting circa 30 years ago. They are now making new ones. The guy who did Lost directs them...""
. .
Next he needs to do a reboot of Stargate, then he would have worked on all of the Star+* franchises.
And turn Star Wars 7 into Star Wars 7, 8, and 9?
Star Wars is lost
Please. All of that TNG crap. I wanted them to die. I wanted the scene to go like this:
Picard> Yes, but the question is *should* we kill them?
Data> Killing is not ethical
Blah>
Blah>
Blah>
Enterprise blown from the stars
Enemy captain> If you're going to shoot, shoot, don't talk
I always though that Star Wars did not have enough lens flares...
Why cant they have Michael Bay do it? We would have Ewoks exploding all over the place, and everyone's wish comes true... Exploding Jar Jar...
Do not look at laser with remaining good eye.
But if you say that, that means you are too stupid to follow it, not that you thought it was just a shit movie. I pirated it and have it on my laptop and have still never made it through. Someone should have told them that character development isn't just talking about a character, but trying to get the audience to connect with the character. It was just bad.
NOOO! MOVIE OPINIONS DIFFERENT FROM MINE! YOURE ALL D-BAG IDJIOTS AND I'M CORRECT!
We can do this back-and-forth all day, ya'know.
Nooooooooooo! That's impossible!
Scientists point out problems, engineers fix them
altslashdot.org: The future of slashdot.
Scrolling upwards and out into space away from the bottom of the screen:
In A.D. 2101
War was beginning.
Captain: What happen ? ....
Mechanic: Somebody set up us the bomb.
Operator: We get lens flare.
Captain: What !
Operator: We get lens flare.
Operator: Main screen turn on.
Captain: It's You !!
Cats: How are you gentlemen !!
Cats: All your base are belong to us.
Cats: You are on the way to destruction.
Operator: We get lens flare.
Captain: What you say !!
Operator: We get lens flare.
Captain: No. I say to Cats. What you say !!
Cats: You have no chance to survive make your time.
Cats: HA HA HA HA
Captain: Take off every 'zig' !!
Captain: You know what you doing.
Captain: Move 'zig'.
Captain: For great justice.
Operator: We get lens flare.
I deny that I have not avoided attaining the opposite of that which I do not want.
Red 5 standing by... Red Matter standing by.
The talking hapens a lot.
[very weak ship starts shooting]
Enterprise: hey, we've got the most powerful ship in the federation. This weak ship is shooting us. Hmmm. What shall we do?
[ship continues to shoot]
Enterprise: Perhaps we should shoot back.
[ship coninues to shoot]
[Enterprise begins to sustain damage]
Enterprise: Yeah shooting's a good idea. Let's ignore all the photon torpedos and most of the other weapons and shoot one phaser on the weakest setting (the ship phasers don't seem to do stun on TNG).
[ship gets shot, but sustains only moderate damage and keeps shooting]
Enterprise: huh. That didn't do much and dang they're still shooting.
[console on enterprise randomly expoldes]
Enterprise: shall we shoot again? Perhaps shooting would be a good idea. Maybe we should up the phaser power from one to two percent and try again. But let's think about it for a while.
[other ship KEEPS shooting and enterprise really starts to take the hits]
[enterprise fires one more very weak phaser blast which does about as much as expected]
Enterprise: huh. They're still going. OMG SHIELDS ARE FAILING EVERYBODY PANIC AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT DON'T BOTHER TO SHOOT BACK WITH EVERYTHING YOU'VE GOT!!
and so on.
SJW n. One who posts facts.
It's "Redd Foxx." Assuming you mean the comedian. "Stay in attack formation, dummy!"
Red October Shtanding by
General Relativity: Space-time tells matter where to go; Matter tells space-time what shape to be.
Is it true that J.J. Abrams real name is Jar Jar?
As long as he doesn't create an alternate universe where Greedo shot first, Vader made C3P0, the Force-sensitivity is a bacterial infection, and force-ghosts got 20 years younger, we should be just fine.
For a more accurate flowchart of Primer (and several other movies) see: http://xkcd.com/657/