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Linus Torvalds To Head Windows 9 Project
An anonymous reader writes "Linus Torvalds, the creator of Linux, and a champion of free and open source software has finally called it a day and has agreed to join Microsoft as the project head of the upcoming Windows 9 project. According to Bloomberg, Linus will be working on a new Kernel design for Microsoft that will make, usually vulnerable, Windows OS virtually impossible to be infected by viruses and malware."
They want their MS criticism and jokes back.
You sure got me! Now if you'll excuse me, I have a 'most gullible person on the planet' detector shipment I need to receive, for some reason they keep blowing up around me...
Saw this on the announce newslist the other day. As always, editors get it wrong. Linus is only working on the Windows 9 Mobile division, not the head of the whole project.
UTF-8: There and Back Again
Finally someone at Microsoft made a good desicion
Comment removed based on user account deletion
ROT13, really?
This is getting old very quickly. There is a difference between funny and just plain stupid. I think that the "13" in "ROT13" means the age of someone who would actually find this funny.
written BC, Before Coffee
Not using an Ad Blocker? Slashdotter, I expected better from you.
And the fools days is upon us again. Well done slashdot, and happy Birthday to the Royal Canadian Air Force
Ya, but the thing is, I'd actually expect something like this from Linus. He really doesn't give much of a wet snap about software freedom - the GPL was a choice he made based on convenience (there's a pre-made license over there, and ooooh.... look how shiny and legal it looks). To make something like this actually funny, it should have been someone like Bruce Perens or Richard Stallman.
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I can't wait to see Linus' potty mouth vs. Balmer's chair throwing.
The Internet King? I wonder if he could provide faster nudity.
/. doesn't get more page views... The link only toggles the visibility of the decoded version.
You must have missed the few days where they were inserting slashvertisements every day and posting them as news stories (since the owners of slashdot are dice.com).
... he revealed it's doing it because he's scratching an itch.
"After so many years I have to stop deniying myself and recognize I just started Linux because I loved Windows but cannot afford the license by that time." -- Torvals declared.
"All that FOSS stuff is a big mistake, and I'm sorry for being in the know so many years." -- Cried while bursting into tears.
The joke comes within a hair's breadth of explaining itself at the end.
I can't believe APK hasn't ROT13'd his post too.
Or maybe he can click on the link below the summary, that you copied.
There are two types of people in the world: Those who crave closure
Comment removed based on user account deletion
This is so fucking lame that I'm not even going to bother refreshing the home page or even posting anything more today. Seriously! /. today, and perhaps even tomorrow. Sheesh.
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I just reloaded the home page and saw the fucking ROT-13 gibberish and I don't even feel like clicking on the link to see what the lame-o April Fool's joke is going to be. If I feel that way as an avid registered slashdotter (who even got mod points for the first time last week, yay?), then how does the average joe/jill feel when they open the home page? This is a moronic april fool's day gag that makes me less interested in reading
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This is tiresome. This is not fun. This is not funny. This is lame. Do you understand this yet, editors? Anyone listening, or are you editors skipping the rest of the day too?
I think you misspelled "Windows Nein".
Danke, werde ich hier die ganze Woche!
But you have to go in to the story page to get the toggle link. From the front page all you can see is the ROT13 text.
Apparently wizard is not a legitimate career path, so I chose programmer instead.
But it would be just good that they are behind paywalls. Then we would get rid off stupid sites (90% of WWW) and then even get rid of malware infections from WWW sites to Windows. It is just win-win situation.
And people would gain control of internet and freedom of speech without CIA, FBI etc sniffing around.
So it is Win-Win-Win situation.
I think they could have gotten away with a random person like Linus simply walking around in a supervisor capacity. He could read every design plan and attend meetings and his only job is to say "WTF, REALLY?!" when someone thinks of a stupid idea like touch or metro or CD keys embedded in the BIOS or UEFI. That would really benefit MS the most.
A user getting self-righteous butthurt over stupid April Fool's joke... Slashdot, I expected exactly this.
I prefer to pay a site or person directly instead of giving companies like google extra revenue & data on me.
Thank you for keeping it free for me :D
I'll keep using adblock as I despise advertisements. Another reason I haven't watched TV since the mid-90s. I PAY for cable and I STILL get commercials? WTF MATE^^ IF your product is THAT good, I'll hear about it!
And to borrow from the late BIll Hicks:
IF you are in advertising...KILL YOURSELF! buy a rope, suck a tail pipe, borrow a gun from an NRA buddy and kill yourself.
"That's right...I said it."
I'm pretty sure you spent more than 1.5s reading a crummy april fools story anyway. Also, since when is the time to read the summary the more significant part of reading a story on Slashdot?
I have to give kudos to /. for the most original and hilarious April fools prank. Well done! The ROT13 is genious :)
April Fools day and the internet do not mix,. You are are not funny, your jokes suck and you should just kill yourself.
http://faqintosh.com/risorse/en/othutil/webapps/rot13/ helps us anons.
There might be a false equivalence in there somewhere. The real alternative is that sites not worth the bandwidth will finally die and free up resources for new offerings. Why live in a capitalist society if you do not want competition? Besides, advertisers have laws to prevent me from sending them arbitrary code to run so I block their attempts at doing the same on my system by principle.
Gung'f jrveq, V pna ernq nyy gur cbfgf rkprcg gur cnerag gb guvf bar. V guvax gurer vf n oht va gur arj plcure flfgrz.
Cuvyyvc.
Property for sale in Nice, France
That might actually help.
So many people get so upset over /.'s April Fools hijinks. It's rather entertaining, honestly.
// file: mice.h
#include "frickin_lasers.h"
Linus has already announced that Windows 9 will be a lot like Windows 8 and Windows 7 with no real new features, except that functionality in the user interface will be moved around so you have to relearn where everything is located.
Google Analytics can measure
No, I use a scriptblocker, they can't measure jack shit.
Are you pretending to be a bitch on April Fool's Day or is this how you normally are?
I'm boycotting Slashdot for the entire month because of their lame joke. I'm just really sick of how much this place is a joke under regular circumstances but having to endure this crap is too much.
He couldn't resist the POWER of the Dark Side! Unlimited power! Pooooowwwwwweeeer!
Bwahahahahahahahahaha!
But to be fair, I think he had to go to Microsoft because he thought his wife died because of a bug he accidentally allowed in the kernel - or something. Sure, he felt her alive after the bug went in, but she died.
Really. That's what happened.
Expect an announcement from the Emper...Steve Balmer.
Creator of Linux to head Windows development. Har har har.
What's the next crap "joke", PETA to endorce the butchers' union? GET IT? IT'S IRONIC!
Did you stuff a bunch of interns in a room and "brainstorm" these? Truly uninspired, and lacking execution at every step.
Slashdot still doesnâ(TM)t support Unicode after it was added to the HTML standard in 1997.
Slashdot, for so many years, has done such a SHITTY job of April Fool's day, I like having a big giant indicator that a story is not even worth looking at. When I visit again tomorrow (seriously -- I'm done for the day) I can just scroll and read all the stories down to the point where they're encrypted. Thanks guys!
Seriously, you guys suck balls at 4/1. I'd complain, but what I have to say has been said a million times before, and you're obviously not listening, so why bother. I check in each year to see if you did anything clever* like "OMG PONIES!", then I'm gone until 4/2.
* and yes, "OMG PONIES!" counts as clever around here. Low, low standards.
Dear Slashdot: next time you want to mess with the site, add a rich-text editor for comments.
This is tiresome. This is not fun. This is not funny. This is lame. Do you understand this yet, editors? Anyone listening, or are you editors skipping the rest of the day too?
I think it's funny. I think it's great. Take a day off to geek out once a year.
If you don't enjoy it...can't you just find something else to do today instead of lobbying to end a tradition some of us enjoy?
I think the encryption is kind of nice. Stops the April Fools jokes from looking like real articles. Not that this particular joke was super subtle.
Your not an avid Slashdotter until you get sick of having Mod points. It's why I rarely log in any more.
Sorry, teleporters just kill you and then make a copy. A perfect, soul-less copy.
Okay, if this is a one time Be A Retard day prank, fine. I can suck it up for one day. But if this is something that /. actually plans to implement then I'll just fucking drop slashdot. Because I'm already subscribed to Ars Technica and about half the sites that /. pulls their news from. And I don't have to jump through bullshit hoops to read them.
I'm not lobbying to end the tradition, I'm lobbying to uphold the traditionof good interesting april fool's day joke pages. IMHO, this year is not so inventive and funny. Please see my other comment or look at previous years' april fool's days slashdot pages to see what I mean. I would like /. to be more inventive and creative. I'm offering constructive criticism, gave an example of what would be better, and just pointed out to the readers (and any editors reading) that the gag is tiresome rather quickly and not as funny as they might think it is.
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It might be an example of how lame humor can be when you decide to create a joke by committee.
I refuse to use an Ad Blocker because I generally like to support the websites I visit. Today however, I enabled Slashdot's friendly "Disable Advertising" checkbox.
I went to eat some animal crackers and the box said, "Do not eat if seal is broken." I opened the box and sure enough..
Check out the tears on Brett.
I can't believe APK hasn't ROT13'd his post too.
Even if he had, how could you even tell?
Yeah. I got that over the weekend. I'm getting fifteen points at a time and on sunday I just found out that posting on a topic unmoderated my mods on that topic article. So then it's a toss-up, do I want to post on an article, or do I want to use my mod points. I've been getting mod points daily (except for one day) for a week, and fifteen points at a time, and I am getting tired of it. It freaks me out having to decide whether to go back to mod older comments so I don't. I've been just modding new stuff for that day as I read it. And since saturday, I've been worrying about modding in topics I'd rather post in. It's annoying having to hold myself back. The example page for mods says "5 points" and using up 15 mods is annoying. I've been modding things up that are interesting. And I've stopped browsing at (-1) even though it's recommended for moderating because of those lame long APK posts. (+ i was lurking for a couple of years before registering) -- self-avowed avid /.er
And behind those pay-walls would be more advertisements. Oh not at first mind you (nasty look at you cable TV). Then just a 'few select pages'. Then back to where you started AND paying for it.
Also if it were just a few banners whatever... But now I have a datacap and random JS running at the same time? Yeah thats an adblocking...
nt
WAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!
Offtopic on this is bullshit moderation.
Now redundant, I might understand.
Most posts are in double ROT-13. Occasionally I've seen a triple ROT-13 encoded message though.
Any insufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from technology.
More like they've thoughtfully been posting the intentionally non-serious stories as ROT13.
The unintentionally non-serious stories are quadruply protected with QUAD ROT13.
I PAY for cable and I STILL get commercials?
So you pay to access your web pages?
Waaah! Someone capitulate! I can't stand not being thoroughly entertained! Help! Help! I'm moderately uninterested! Why isn't someone doing something?! I've made a post on a community-moderated article response forum! Gah! I'm so angry I may talk to someone on a phone! A PHONE!
Grow up, kid. And if you're not a kid, just chill out. This site has a ton of people contributing a ton of stories and a few times out of the year, the employees (which you don't directly pay), throw out a gag. Not all jokes are funny. Some jokes that are generally funny, you won't enjoy. This is one of them. Get over it.
You've made yourself out to be an over-entitled ass and, seriously, maybe 3 people care that you "don't even feel like clicking on the link" but significantly more people are annoyed by the diaper-rash fit you're throwing.
You're not making friends. You're not influencing people. You're becoming a meme.
Owww....
That was such a lame prank it hurt.
For all the people whining about the ROT13 initiative. Jeesh!
It wasn't ROTFL type funny, but it was definitely amusing.
Spend 2 minutes writing a comment complaining about having to waste 15 seconds figuring out how to un-encode the articles?
h znq?
/* No Comment */
ab whfg sehfgengrq. gnaxf 4 nfxvat, gub!
. echo ab whfg sehfgengrq. gnaxf 4 nfxvat, gub! | tr 'a-z' 'n-za-m' auto-decoder code pasted above. copypasta into your bash shell!
simple substitution chiffre
You are right, but visiting the story page is necessary in order to follow the discussion, which I think is what most people come here for. I hardly think this is a conscious move to receive more money from advertising.
I think there is a long running thing, where one of the crazy stories are real. Anyone hoping it is this one?
And if everyone on the planet shared their wealth, there would be no poor people.
Seriously, do you honestly believe that "everyone using an ad-blocker" is even feasible? I'm pretty certain that in your lifetime, there's zero chance that every dumb jock, grandmother, and all other technologically inept people are going to go out and install an ad-blocker on all of their computers, phones, tablets and whatever else. Saying that you aren't going to do it because bad things would happen if everybody did it is stupid, when there is no possible chance that everyone will do it.
There are plenty of suckers among my friends that still complain about having to skip the ad video on Youtube, despite the fact that I have told them several times that there are easy ways of getting rid of all those ads for good. It's not that the people without ad-blockers are unaware of their existence, some of them just couldn't be bothered with doing something about it, and you don't sound like one of those people.
Even looking past the ROT13 eye-roller of an April Fool, this article is complete garbage. It's poorly written and poorly executed, in that April Fools news story pranks should be just plausible enough to make the average reader at least wonder if it's true. This reads as if it was written by a 5th grader.
Even the concept would have been workable with a little more subtlety and finesse. Just terrible...
Thanks to Microsoft's awesome Shell, I easily created this script to automatically do rot13 for me!
#!/bin/sh
echo "$1" | tr '[A-Za-z]' '[N-ZA-Mn-za-m]'
I wish Linux, Mac OS X, or BSD would implement this. Hopefully, Linux steals this from Microsoft and uses it in the next release of The Colonel v3.1469.
The G
These stupid Slashdot AF stories are just so god damn lame.
Modern copyright is theft of culture from everyone and it retards the progress of the useful arts and sciences.
Yes. Internet service costs money.
If you are on some free Internet plan, do tell.
Intellectual Property is a monopolistic, selfish, and defective concept. It is "tyranny over the mind of man"
Wait -- how much of your Internet bill goes to the content providers?
the growth in cynicism and rebellion has not been without cause
This is all part of the "fellatio competition" that Torvalds was talking about. (with regard to the UEFI encryption).
These are my friends, See how they glisten. See this one shine, how he smiles in the light.
Now Bill Gates will have enough money to buy the entire Taliban and finally put an end to polio and make a dent in several other scourges.
Verbum caro factum est
What a lovely bunch of coconuts you have!
I'm old, not dead. Well that's my 2 cents worth, your mileage may vary. I say what I think, not what you want to hear.
I've been worrying about modding in topics I'd rather post in. It's annoying having to hold myself back.
I am also being swamped with mod points. Has the system changed somehow, or are they running out of good moderators? At one time I got mod points very rarely (but often got meta-moderation points).
Do what I do. Use the mod points in topics you are not particularly interested in or have no stong view, so are unlikely to post anyway. It is a better use of mod points as you can award them according to how well argued (or funny, or trollish or whatever) without being biased with your own opinion. Otherwise modding can degenerate into just modding up things you agree with and modding down those you don't.
BTW, is the bra training for you, or are you training for the bra?
The summary is unreadable? I hadn't noticed.
For hire.
It's very easy for a site-owner to prevent ad blocking.
Don't use flash.
Use your own site address, not the ad's owner, for the ad.
Don't use any strings containing "ad".
Contribute to civilization: ari.aynrand.org/donate
This is not lame. lame is an encoder.
Contribute to civilization: ari.aynrand.org/donate
Free preview link? what's that? www.rot13.com
No, if everyone used an ad-blocker, then real companies would have to figure out a different monetizing scheme, and all the wannabe journalists and artists out there would have to get real jobs instead of blogging.
Same joke every year. I think it's time for someone to come up with a new one. We'd all get a better laugh at a typical Linus 'this is stupid' rant.
If you want to post in a story you modded already, do so as anon...there is a tick box for it when you post. That way your moderations stay intact.
"As the intrepid kobold companion continues his journey, he begins to wonder... if priests raises dead, why anybody die?
However, kudos, ChrisMaple, for making me laugh and enjoy some more of today! ;>)
This is exactly why I came here today. Every year the neckbeards rage and stamp their feet and froth at the mouth, and it's entertaining as hell.
Strangely, about 15 minutes ago, I got a note saying I'd received 15 mod points, even though twenty minutes ago, I had used up just two of the mod points I received three hours ago while I was in school at lecture. So why did I receive a "top up" back up to 15 mod points if I hadn't used them all up? Strange. :>p
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re nickname: it's turning a taunt from a coupla years ago into a nick o' pride. No other details to be shared.
Here's the weird timing of my getting 15 mod points even though I had not used up 13 of my prior mod points I'd received less than THREE HOURS AGO!!! Strange...
Reply to "TRS-80 all the way, baby!" by StormReaver Monday April 01, @05:56AM
* 15 Mod Points Received - Expire on 04/04 Monday April 01, @06:33AM
Reply to "Re:So lame I'm not refreshing the home page anymor" by nukenerd Monday April 01, @06:38AM
* Reply to "So lame I'm not refreshing the home page anymore." by ChrisMaple Monday April 01, @07:41AM
* 15 Mod Points Received - Expire on 04/04 Monday April 01, @09:31AM
You are rather new to be determining what traditions we uphold. Nothing personal but your opinion doesn't carry a lot of weight (nor does mine). Following the fashion of complaining isn't actually going to accomplish anything either. Yeah, complaining about /. and being an active poster is also a tradition.
"So long and thanks for all the fish."
Yeah, but you know what? This is a place to get some of my complaining out and get rid of the frustrations without having to take the response or criticism too personally. I actually appreciate the tone of your reply, and I pretty much agree with you. But's it's nice to have a place to vent, especially when it's also a place where I (intermittently) find some intelligent gem of a comment or learn some particular esoteric detail from some coder who bothered to take the time to educate others.
:>)
So take my venting with a grain of salt, and however many grains of aspirin make up an adequate anti-headache dose! (I just learned about the word "grain" as a pharmaceutical unit of measure today. Can you tell?)
Wait -- how much of your Internet bill goes to the content providers?
Every penny I send them in my case. Last I heard, /. (or one of its brothers) sells merch. Fark sells merch. BoingBoing sells merch. EFF gives merch away in return for donations (I never really understood how that one worked). Blasting raucous, repetitive advertising at me makes it far less likely that I'm going to want your stuff, but that does apparently work on the Walmart crowd, sadly.
I have a scale that measures in grains but, alas, that's a topic for another day. Either way, bitching about /. is a tradition around here and never seems to affect change but people never stop. It is usually inversely proportionate to UID numbers.
"So long and thanks for all the fish."
Please tell me this is an APRIL FOOL'S JOKE!
It CANNOT BE!
April Fools guys.
alive to the universe, dead to the world
Another washed up has been thief producing crap for the masses.
Strangely, after getting 45 mod points on monday, I haven't gotten any mod points since then. It's enough to make a girl paranoid! Is it something I said? Did you stop getting an excessively large number of mod points too?
...very good, you had me for a split second until realised April had crept up on us already!
Agree, the first thing I did was look at the dateline on the story ... LT to Windows? Gotta be 4/1 joke. Just like Google Scents. I absolutely expect this of Slashdot. Thanks for keeping us on our toes.
no Its the traditional slashdot April Fool posts, its not serious, why are you ??
Resistance is futile
Don't forget that this is early in the month of April.
Linus has persuaded Microsoft to make the change in order to compete with Apple.