Slashdot Mirror
Google Wants To Write Your Social Media Responses For You
taikedz writes "A new patent has been filed by Google that tries to analyze your past communications to then construct responses to the overwhelming amount of posts you receive. From the article: 'Essentially, the program analyzes the messages a user makes through social networks, email, text messaging, microblogging, and other systems. Then, the program offers suggestions for responses, where the original messages are displayed, with information about others reactions to the same messages, and then the user can send the suggested messages in response to those users. The more the user utilizes the program and uses the responses, the more the bot can narrow down the types of responses you make.'"
Because Google will do it for you?
if comment.first() :-) ");
{
comment.append(" LOL, epic fail
}
else
(
Flame flame = new Flame();
flame.invokeGodwinsLaw();
}
Great! Eventually all social media communications will break down to a generic set of responses back and forth.
Next it will automatically search for cat and baby photos and automatically post them for you! The circle is complete.
Best movie I've ever seen!
Hey, what the hell?
Where are we going and why are we in a handbasket?
Please, google, leave me something to do besides shop.
You are welcome on my lawn.
Possible response:
Does it also detect Slashdot dupes?
http://tech.slashdot.org/story/13/11/20/161244/google-patents-fooling-friends-with-snooping-chatbots
I said. Does it also detect Slashdot dupes?
Sounds great!
Python coder | PyQt Applications | Writer
All replies will now be "lol"
says the guy with a Google+ icon by his username
I don't that's how patents work
That's how non-software patents work. The operating principle of the invention is disclosed in the patent.
When our name is on the back of your car, we're behind you all the way!
From TFA:
" ... the program analyzes the messages a user makes through social networks, email, text messaging, microblogging, and other systems. Then, the program offers suggestions for responses, where the original messages are displayed, with information about others reactions to the same messages, and then the user can send the suggested messages in response to those users ... "
So it boils down to a copy/paste bot affixed with some simple AI ?
Muchas Gracias, Señor Edward Snowden !
says the AC
Are they going to integrate Emacs in to their web services?
M-x doctor
or
M-x psychoanalyze-pinhead
Or maybe they're porting their web services to elisp.
What I'd like to be able to do is schedule my FB posts. I just found something Christmas-funny. I'd like to post it to FB around December 20th, but what I'd actually like to do is upload it now and schedule for it to appear on my feed (erm, 'timeline') on December 20th. Or on the weekend, schedule up a bunch of funny stuff to appear throughout the week. Yeah, yeah, yeah I know there's probably some ActiveGNUPerlFoxScriptExtensionPlugIn BS that does what I want, but I just want a button in FB.
If they get to patent this garbage, we should disband the USPTO.
Eventually there will be more "bots" making posts than humans. But most people act "with the crowd". If one organisation controls most of the bots then they will hold enormous sway over "public opinion". After all, it is the perception of public opinion that matters - not the actual public opinion. Also, it a bit sad that people want to be on social media (because they cannot be bothered to meet up in real life) and now they want the computer to think up responses for them (because they can't be bothered to think them up for themselves).
"Shall I post a response of: 'OMG! LOL!1!' for you?" --Google
'If you were going to say one of these, STOP! you are being boring! Think of something original to say, or shut up!"
Prediction for end of Universe #42: Fencepost error in Quantum_bogosort.cpp
Isn't it a bit from http://tech.slashdot.org/story/13/11/20/161244/google-patents-fooling-friends-with-snooping-chatbots?
RTFA. Cowboy Neal can make up to 88 Micro$ofts an hour working from your house. Click here for one weird tip on how Texas school board can lose idiocracy. OMG U R homo Ponies!!! Ron Paul 2012!
With this labour saving device to do your tedious social interaction for you, we're starting to really make some inroads into automating the most boring parts of our lives.
I wonder how long after the extinction of the species it will be before the social media traffic starts to slow down.
Especially, my dirty laundry. Go away Google, you're too intrusive.
The Google+ ... who needs subscribers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRFoMAfq7Xc
The shepherds did so well protecting the flock that the sheep no longer believed that wolves existed.
Don't imply. Lay it all out for us, signed.
I understand the revulsion you feel for this hateful speech. But you could have said, as did Oscar Wilde, "I may not agree with you, but I will defend to the death your right to make an ass of yourself."
Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.
Ernest Hemingway
Someone might pay to attain that sort of pseudo-immortality.
"Failed social media service Google+ has just had a massive influx of new members!"
Is this the most ridiculous thing you have ever heard of; this seems rather pointless.
Google is grasping for innovation, no one is asking for this feature and no one will use it, mark my words. Why not create theoretical users based upon real users
using social networking. We'll take actual users out of the equation entirely, just create virtual users.
Google has apparently ran out of ideas. Come on guys take some risks, don't be idiots.
You can keep being a troll long after you're dead.
"If any question why we died, Tell them because our fathers lied."
Oprah's statement is rather uninformed and I find it offensive...
So only white people can be racist now? Ever been to Japan? Or even the Middle East if that's closer to your home?
It's trolling and flamebait, this time in a racist flavour. We have a mods for both flamebait and trolling, and as long as those posts are modded as such, and we don't feed the trolls and fires, that ought to be enough.
This sounds almost like the premise of the sci-fi novel Avogadro Corporation: The Singularity Is Closer Than It Appears. Avogadro Corporation was ironically modeled after Google, and in the story they develop a system using recommendation algorithms to automatically suggest improvements to one's emails so that they produce favorable responses from recipients. What happens is that one of the programmers modifies the system to give it an overarching goal, gives it the privileges to write and send it's own emails as any Avogadro Mail user (think any Gmail user), and it begins to socially engineer people, allowing it to escape into the wild, take over whole governments, etc.
This Google project sounds eerily familiar. Better watch out, this could spell the end of us all.
No. Add more "!1"'s and finish with OMGWTFBBQ. Activate mode 6.
It's not the years, honey, it's the mileage. - Colonel Henry Walton Jones, Jr., Ph.D.
And that's just from search results.
Google is my DNS, 8.8.8.8 and 8.8.8.4 as they are damn quick; Posting a message
of the use of the 10.0.0.0 block I knew the RFC number but needed a link
I typed in RFC and one suggestion was 1918 (The RFC I was looking for).
I get a traffic ticket I want to see how bad it could of been, The
Revised Code of Washington (RCW) is where one goes for this in our area,
I type in RCW and the section I'm after is suggested.
The first one analogizing my post as I write it? The second a popular search?,
or Google's has extra info
It's one thing to know your giving info, it's another to see it in action.
is that you end up with Google simply having a conversation with itself, as your automated response is met by another automated response, which then triggers an automated reply and so on. No one saying anything, and it all happening at light speed.
Shoes for Industry. Shoes for the Dead.
Swiftkey
I want peace on earth and goodwill toward man.
We are the United States Government! We don't do that sort of thing.
It will be GREAT if this is patented. No one else will make such garbage again.
But I agree we should disband the USPTO.
Per Stephen Colbert: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HE0NRdNoVDk
I find that I consistently omit the apostrophe whenever I use the plural possessive form of the word "other". I wonder if the bot will pick up on that? Heck, my human editors never seem to even notice. Or, if they do, they don't want doctor others text, so they just indulge my Joycean literary genius and publish exactly the text I submit.
Jokes aside, I want a bot that would score high with employer bots, but low with NSA ones. The solution of not using social media and/or encrypting communications is not going to work - it'll probably put a (non)user right on no flying / non employable list. Open source project anybody?
for my part, if this program was applied widely, to some degree, would be a good news for us. zahnarzt instrumente
So let me get this straight - Google will perform our social media interactions for us, meaning I never need to log onto social media again.
Gee, that's really going to make the advertisers happy...
Most of my posts are either lengthy or very contextually relevant. This app is only going to serve the people that write "lolz" or "tldr" type responses... aka morons.
I've decided to stop wasting my time responding to AC trolls/sockpuppets... so if you want a response from me... login.
I can't wait to see this system having a conversation with itself.
Table-ized A.I.
I love Google. They're awesome and you should too. Show them the love with your data and search for all your deepest secrets #notabot
Wanna buy a shirt?
https://www.redbubble.com/people/stealthfinger/shop?asc=u
Maybe then they'd come up sooner than 5 days later than everywhere else..
Here we come
MONDAY MORNING, In A Human Face Forever, Monday (NNGadget) — Millions of British workers are to be made redundant as companies install robotic Facebook readers, with F5-clicking robot arms, in the workplace to save human time interacting with social networks.
"Computers are in the workplace to improve our economic efficiency," said killjoy researcher Chris MacKenzie. "We thought companies would really go for something that would give an actual reason to lay off complete wastes of space without all that tedious waiting for them to post their tits or publicly slag off their boss."
Additional functionality includes posting to Twitter through that page someone made that looks like a spreadsheet and looking up the anatomy photos on Wikipedia so IT won't flag it trying to go to porn sites at work.
"The next model is showing great promise — it talks about football and last night's telly in the breakroom with the other computers, automatically drinks tea and never tells Facilties about the tea bags running out, and nips off to the bogs for a sly tug over porn on its iPhone when things are quiet. And do you think you'll get a drop of work out of it on Friday afternoon after it's been down the pub drowning its peripherals with the other ’bots? I don't bloody think so."
The only barrier to adoption may be the threat of redundancy for large swathes of senior management should the software be adapted to 19" Sony Vaio laptops. However, many workers who actually work at work were clamouring for a version that would automatically translate scientific papers from English to Faeces-Flinging Monkey and back and find funny videos on YouTube, thus enabling it to both write and read Metro and London Lite and saving everyone else the trouble.
http://rocknerd.co.uk
...you'll still be there on the network, for all your "friends". I bet that's Google's solution to mortality, in case the medial singularity doesn't happen. Next step is making people believe that the mind of the deceased has been uploaded in the cloud !
I think the headline says all.
I found the article interesting given that I just finished a book where Email Language Optimization Project (ELOPe) takes over a company called Avogadro Corp (which is rather similar to Google), by automatically generating emails and optimizing the responses.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:BookSources/9780984755707
He stared off into the distance. "Are you familiar with Ray Kurzweil? Of course, you must be. He, among others, predicted that artificial intelligence would inevitably arise through the simple exponential increase in computing power. When you combine that increase in computing power with the vast resources at Avogadro, it's naturally evident that artificial intelligence would arise first at Avogadro. I suppose that I, like him, assumed that there would be a more intentional, deliberate action that would spawn an AI."
He paused, and then continued, smiling a bit. "Gentlemen, you may indeed have put the entire company at risk. But let me first, very briefly, congratulate you on creating the first successful, self-directed, goal oriented, artificial intelligence that can apparently pass a Turing test by successfully masquerading as a human. If not for the fact that the company, and perhaps the entire world, is at risk, I'd suggest a toast be in order." (Avogadro corp, pg 143)
HOW TO BE A WORTHLESS, VILE, AMERICAN YARD-APE!!!!
Google has done an excellent job of analyzing previous comments by AC and coming up with this.
The more the user utilizes the program and uses the responses, the more the bot can narrow down the types of responses you make.'
But until that point, you look like a friggin' idiot.
A new patent has been filed by Google that tries to analyze your past communications to then construct responses to the overwhelming amount of posts you receive.
I really don't get that many messages you insensitive clod...!
Always remember, the poster is trying to rattle the feathers of overly sensitive people such as yourself. You know how to fight back? Just don't reply. If no one acknowledges them then they have no reason to try and post stuff like that. The anonymous gp is laughing right now knowing that you fell for their trap.
With a 4 digit UID you should be old enough to realize that there are people on the internet who are asholes. Grow up and save your anger for real problems in the world. Not some anonymous coward on /.
You get an ugly pink page returned when you request anything from the IP address\range. Apparently done on at least the .htaccess level, because it blocks everything. Very easy to evade though.
So in your case nothing would change.
Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."