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Indicted Ex-FIFA Executive Cites Onion Article In Rant Slamming US
schwit1 writes with news that former FIFA Vice President Jack Warner has evidently not heard of The Onion. In a video on his Facebook page, Warner holds up a printout of an Onion story titled “FIFA Frantically Announces 2015 Summer World Cup In United States” and says: “Then I look to see that Fifa has frantically announced, 2015, this year [...] the World Cup, beginning May 27. If FIFA is so bad, why is it that the USA wants to keep the Fifa World Cup?” The next World Cup is not due to be held until 2018 and there have been no games in the U.S.. Warner is facing extradition to the U.S. on corruption charges. Time further reports: Even Sunday wasn't easy, when Warner needed two attempts to get his message across by telling followers that the latest accusations against him stem largely from the U.S. being upset that it did not win the rights to host the 2022 World Cup — which went to Qatar. In an eight-minute Facebook video, which was quickly deleted after numerous news reports picked up on the gaffe, Warner held up a printout of a fictitious story from The Onion bearing the headline: "FIFA Frantically Announces 2015 Summer World Cup In United States." The fake story was published on Wednesday, hours after Warner was indicted in the U.S. and arrested and briefly jailed in Trinidad. Warner asked why the story was "two days before the FIFA election" when Sepp Blatter was re-elected as president.
We all saw this "news" on Sunday in Last Week Tonight with John Oliver. And you got to all this length of stealing the bit and posting it on slashdot just to miss the punchline? Well, for those who have not seen it here it goes:
"Only a FIFA official could be corrupt enough to think the Onion article is not a joke, but something that could actually happen."
If programs would be read like poetry, most programmers would be Vogons.
If you weren't such a liberal racist fucker, you'd know that Warner isn't just some "foreign black man" from the sticks. He's from Trinidad and Tobago which, according to Wikipedia, is "the third richest country by GDP (PPP) per capita in the Americas after United States and Canada. Furthermore it is recognized as a high income economy by the World Bank. Unlike most of the English-speaking Caribbean, the country's economy is primarily industrial,[10] with an emphasis on petroleum and petrochemicals. The country's wealth is mainly attributable to its large reserves and exploitation of oil and natural gas". Also according to Wikipedia, Warner served as TT's Minister of National Security and in Parliament. He's no rube. In fact, its thought that his some of his behavior post arrest, including use of the Onion article in a Facebook video, is a mental incompetence dodge against the corruption charges leveled against him.
Go to https://www.youtube.com/html5 and click the "Request the html5 player" button.
"Go to CNN [for a] spell-checked, fact-checked summary" -- CmdrTaco
When I hear of executives or board members of organizations get the facts about their organizations incorrect, like this gentleman citing a parody article claiming that a wrong-year World Cup has been awarded, it makes me wonder how much of a contribution they really make to the organization internally, versus how much they're just schmoozing third parties externally, if even that. To me such a person looks like an incompetent boob that has managed to land a cushy position that provides well for them, without any real game besides helping themselves.
It's not necessarily fair to expect a highly senior member of an organization to literally know the nuts and bolts of everything that their subordinates know and do, but it's reasonable to expect that they have a handle on the big picture. If they don't have such a handle on the big picture then it looks like they're even more corrupt, simply living the high-life without providing.
Do not look into laser with remaining eye.
They claim evidence that the corruption was carried out on US soil using US banks. That's better reasoning to me than "Fifa is multinational and under no one's jurisdiction" as they will claim.
But frankly the fact the US isn't completely obsessed with the sport like some other nations will go a long way to keep things impartial.
If fifa threatens to ban the US from world cup consideration you can expect a very heartfelt "oh darn" as a response and the investigation will continue.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!
Is that a US style "world" cup? so that would include a few US states right?
Frankly it doesn't matter if it's satire or not. It's speech, and each listener should be allowed to judge for himself whether to listen to it or not. And killing someone because you don't like what they say is not acceptable.
"First they came for the slanderers and i said nothing."
I wonder if The Onion had ever published a story about real life people or new organizations referring to Onion stories as if they were true?
abcnews has such an article. The article includes lots of good links, including a link to the Onion FIFA article.
The Onion may be satirical, but it's fact-checking is about as good as mainstream 'journalists'.
FIFA is exactly what is was, nothing more and nothing less. An association with representatives from each country managing an 'Sports Advertising' association based around a specific set of rules and over grown children who can accept doing the same thing over and over again. This is turn sponsored by many governments using public funds, not for the benefit of the public but to subsidise 'Sports Advertising' in return for promotion of those politicians who vote in more 'Sports Advertising' subsidise at the public expence (three times, as tax, to be a spectator and to pay for advertising costs on the products they buy). What greater example than Australian, no minister of science but a minister of Sports (advertising, if was about sports it would be about people participating rather than spectating).
So let's drop the fantasy, the whole exercise once it leaves your neighbourhood park where your family can participate for free, is all about idiot egos, greed and corruption. So what is new here,hmm, let me guess who was meant to get to host the next world cup. Still taking into account the charges, they should be doing it a whole lot more often in a whole lot more cases of corrupt get rich quick schemes. So if they achieve prosecution, bloody good job.
Chaos - everything, everywhere, everywhen
Of course it has jurisdiction if the crime is committed on US territory or using US assets. If, if you electronically rob a bank in the US then you fall under the jurisdiction. Of course if you do that at the direction of another country and refuses to extradite you then you can get away with it.
This FIFA issue isn't about cheating at sports, but about money fraud, bribery, etc. And FIFA is not being charged with any crime, but some of the officers and employees of FIFA. Belonging to a rich club does not always protect you if you commit a crime. The US does have stricter statutes for some of this as well, but any professionally run organization would know this and be smart enough to keep their corruption in countries that look the other way more often.
Sure, the US may be pissed at FIFA for losing their bid, but the US spent a lot of money on this and people aren't going to just sit back and accept the money loss especially when it's been an open secret for so long that FIFA doesn't play fair. You cheat and we lose money then we're going to get pissed about it, old lesson from the wild west.
It really is impossible for you to write anything without saying that you are Greek, is it?
Of course it is possible for me to write something without saying that i am Greek.
Antisthenes: "Wisdom begins by examining the words/names." - excuse my English, i am (slightly...) better with my Greek!
Nope he means football, but not the weedy version of rugby played in America by precious little flowers who are so delicate they need to wear helmets and have a breather after every throw of the ball, not the game where 60 minutes of action is padded out to three hours with TV adverts, not the game where being caught cheating gets you a slap on the wrist instead of disqualification.
He's talking about football, the game where use of the feet to control the ball is the rule rather than the exception, where skill and dexterity with the ball are more important than being a meathead capable of barging other meatheads out of the way.
All I want is a secure system where it's easy to do anything I want. Is that too much to ask ~~ Randall Munroe
The US is far from impartial. They lost of a bid for the world cup which would have been a massive
US Soccer lost a bid. The US at large doesn't give a shit, and would on the balance prefer to not have their regular traffic/TV coverage messed with over a niche sport only played in the suburbs by children. I'm perhaps exaggerating, but not by much. US Soccer has less political pull in the USA than the Muslim Anti-Defamation league.
To top it off, US Soccer doesn't really care any more either. Yes, they were really sore about losing a bid. But they've lost every bid they made since 1994 (as have nearly all other bidders). There's nothing special about that. The last one was special just because the "winner" made all sorts of "investments" in countries that voted for them, and they happen to be a country that is physically incapable of hosting a World Cup. This is so cartoonishly corrupt, that its clear there's no point bothering to bid if you aren't going to cheat. So US Soccer has essentially washed its hands of FIFA Cup bids. They released a statement over 4 years ago saying US Soccer will no longer be making and Cup hosting bids until the process has been cleaned up.
Now lots of folks internationally are skeptical of this. Surely if you wave enough money under their nose, they will bite, right? That's certainly the theory the rest of FIFA seems to operate under. So far US Soccer has held though. I hope they continue to do so.
This 'onion' issue is but a side-show of the indictment of FIFA officers by the Obama Administration
While everyone knows that FIFA is corrupt, we must also acknowledge the fact that the indictments from US is a kind of a long-stretch, for all I know FIFA does not belong to USA alone
The Foreign Corrupt Practices Act of 1977 (FCPA) allows the US to prosecute anyone, anywhere, irregardless of citizenship for specific forms of fraud so long as said person has caused US companies or US-based offices of foreign companies to commit said type of frauds or has used the US banking system to commit said type of frauds. Traffic Sports USA is a company being investigated for that that type of fraud, and so many other businesses tied to either FIFA or CONCACAF.
Now, when I say specific forms of fraud, the law strictly refers to fraud intended to manipulate of foreign politicians or foreign state agencies or to partake in exchange of benefits or gifts with a foreign politician or foreign state agency or representative. The nomination of Qatar for the next World Cup (as a result of a payment under the table to secure those right) falls into that category.
If there were no nationals (or national or US-based business entities) involved at all, then FCPA wouldn't apply at all, and there wouldn't be any news to blather and bloviate about.
They claim evidence that the corruption was carried out on US soil using US banks. That's better reasoning to me than "Fifa is multinational and under no one's jurisdiction" as they will claim.
But frankly the fact the US isn't completely obsessed with the sport like some other nations will go a long way to keep things impartial. If fifa threatens to ban the US from world cup consideration you can expect a very heartfelt "oh darn" as a response and the investigation will continue.
By the FCPA, they wouldn't even need to claim that the corruption took place on US soils and/or using US banks. All it takes is either a US national or legal resident, or US company or US-based subsidiary of a foreign company (Traffic Sports USA) to engage in bribery of foreign officials, or be bribed by foreign officials. Bribery and being bribed by foreign officials is the hallmark of FIFA, and that organization pretty much screwed itself up the moment it established links with US companies.
The US is not alone in this. Many developed countries have similar provisions with a global scope (fraud/bribery of this type committed anywhere). A lot more have similar provisions only on a local scope (only those committed locally.)
This FIFA thing is a good thing, but unfortunately the penny arcade crowd is going to tear it down in their endless, nihilistic pursuit for yet another reason to be upset or whatever.
"Liberal racist fucker"? It's the LIBERALS that are racists now? LOL.
Oh yes, they can be. Should I provide you with examples? Now, I have no dog in this fight as of who is better or worse, liberals or conservatives. But anyone who thing racism is strictly a non-liberal trait is full of shit.
Easy fix. Coke, McDonalds, VISA, Budweiser and every other US corporation can pull sponsorship, then see how it works out for them. I've also heard UEFA (European Football) is discussing separation from FIFA, so it wouldn't be too much of a stretch to get the Japs and Koreans on-board, ask if Uncle Rupert wants to buy in, and start a whole new organisation. Screw the Russian and Arabs, we don't need their filthy money.
This is actually not too far off from what I've heard talked about. Nearly all the sponsors are US-based, and probably don't want their brands associated with corruption. "Have a Coke, and a dead Qatari migrant worker" doesn't quite have the right ring to it.
Also, Nate Silver did an analysis on UEFA's threat to leave FIFA. While the "western" rule-of-law countries have almost no voting power in FIFA, they have nearly all of the paying viewers. If they left together, UEFA (- Russia) and a few other countries (USA, Japan, S. Korea, Australia, Mexico, and Brazil and Argentina for bonus points), could easily break FIFA. That group there would take about 70% of FIFA's income with them, and 70% of its last round of 16 teams as well.
Now lots of folks internationally are skeptical of this. Surely if you wave enough money under their nose, they will bite, right? That's certainly the theory the rest of FIFA seems to operate under. So far US Soccer has held though. I hope they continue to do so.
There's the other issue that US Soccer doesn't have enough money to wave, anyway.
Do you have ESP?
Thank you for trying to counter a point that I wasn't trying to make, so that I could counter your point. 25M is 4M more than Sunday Night Football, the #1 show in all of prime time, averaged for the season. The game I referenced was in the group stage - not even an elimination game. If the US had reached the World Cup final, the numbers would have been much closer to Super Bowl numbers. And 114M is about a third of the US population, so the US at large doesn't give a shit about that, either.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it by not dying. - Woody Allen