Slashdot Mirror
Indicted Ex-FIFA Executive Cites Onion Article In Rant Slamming US
schwit1 writes with news that former FIFA Vice President Jack Warner has evidently not heard of The Onion. In a video on his Facebook page, Warner holds up a printout of an Onion story titled “FIFA Frantically Announces 2015 Summer World Cup In United States” and says: “Then I look to see that Fifa has frantically announced, 2015, this year [...] the World Cup, beginning May 27. If FIFA is so bad, why is it that the USA wants to keep the Fifa World Cup?” The next World Cup is not due to be held until 2018 and there have been no games in the U.S.. Warner is facing extradition to the U.S. on corruption charges. Time further reports: Even Sunday wasn't easy, when Warner needed two attempts to get his message across by telling followers that the latest accusations against him stem largely from the U.S. being upset that it did not win the rights to host the 2022 World Cup — which went to Qatar. In an eight-minute Facebook video, which was quickly deleted after numerous news reports picked up on the gaffe, Warner held up a printout of a fictitious story from The Onion bearing the headline: "FIFA Frantically Announces 2015 Summer World Cup In United States." The fake story was published on Wednesday, hours after Warner was indicted in the U.S. and arrested and briefly jailed in Trinidad. Warner asked why the story was "two days before the FIFA election" when Sepp Blatter was re-elected as president.
We all saw this "news" on Sunday in Last Week Tonight with John Oliver. And you got to all this length of stealing the bit and posting it on slashdot just to miss the punchline? Well, for those who have not seen it here it goes:
"Only a FIFA official could be corrupt enough to think the Onion article is not a joke, but something that could actually happen."
If programs would be read like poetry, most programmers would be Vogons.
When I hear of executives or board members of organizations get the facts about their organizations incorrect, like this gentleman citing a parody article claiming that a wrong-year World Cup has been awarded, it makes me wonder how much of a contribution they really make to the organization internally, versus how much they're just schmoozing third parties externally, if even that. To me such a person looks like an incompetent boob that has managed to land a cushy position that provides well for them, without any real game besides helping themselves.
It's not necessarily fair to expect a highly senior member of an organization to literally know the nuts and bolts of everything that their subordinates know and do, but it's reasonable to expect that they have a handle on the big picture. If they don't have such a handle on the big picture then it looks like they're even more corrupt, simply living the high-life without providing.
Do not look into laser with remaining eye.
They claim evidence that the corruption was carried out on US soil using US banks. That's better reasoning to me than "Fifa is multinational and under no one's jurisdiction" as they will claim.
But frankly the fact the US isn't completely obsessed with the sport like some other nations will go a long way to keep things impartial.
If fifa threatens to ban the US from world cup consideration you can expect a very heartfelt "oh darn" as a response and the investigation will continue.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!
Easy fix. Coke, McDonalds, VISA, Budweiser and every other US corporation can pull sponsorship, then see how it works out for them. I've also heard UEFA (European Football) is discussing separation from FIFA, so it wouldn't be too much of a stretch to get the Japs and Koreans on-board, ask if Uncle Rupert wants to buy in, and start a whole new organisation. Screw the Russian and Arabs, we don't need their filthy money.
This is actually not too far off from what I've heard talked about. Nearly all the sponsors are US-based, and probably don't want their brands associated with corruption. "Have a Coke, and a dead Qatari migrant worker" doesn't quite have the right ring to it.
Also, Nate Silver did an analysis on UEFA's threat to leave FIFA. While the "western" rule-of-law countries have almost no voting power in FIFA, they have nearly all of the paying viewers. If they left together, UEFA (- Russia) and a few other countries (USA, Japan, S. Korea, Australia, Mexico, and Brazil and Argentina for bonus points), could easily break FIFA. That group there would take about 70% of FIFA's income with them, and 70% of its last round of 16 teams as well.