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Han Solo To Get His Own Star Wars Movie Prequel
New submitter alaskana writes: According to Starwars.com, Han Solo will be getting his own movie prequel. The film will purportedly tell the story of a young Han Solo and how he came to be the wily smuggler that shows up in Star Wars: Episode IV A New Hope. The film is set to be directed by Christopher Miller and Phil Lord (of The Lego Movie fame) and written by Lawrence and Jon Kasdan. Get your popcorn and tickets ready, as the movie is set to debut May 25, 2018.
Fuck that! I want Jar Jar Binks' background story, and how he came to have the death sentence placed on him by Boss Rugor Nas.
Can you imagine a movie populated completely by Gungans! Meesah think it vewry vewry good!
The world's burning. Moped Jesus spotted on I50. Details at 11.
So you're thinking this would be a thinly-veiled allegorical retelling of Ron Paul's life? Maybe it can include a "staffer" writing anti-Wookie rants in Han's newsletter.
The world's burning. Moped Jesus spotted on I50. Details at 11.
As long as the have the Kessel Run, we'll all be satisfied.
"I am a protocol droid versed in six million forms of..."
"Fuck that Golden Rod, tell that garbage motivator that I want twelve tons of sewage dropped on Lando's head."
The world's burning. Moped Jesus spotted on I50. Details at 11.
[knock, knock, knock on bathroom door]
Young Han: Mom! I'm busy! Go away!
Though for some it will feel as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced, I think the Extended Universe is dead in the water. No way Abrams is going to be constrained by what amounts to maybe a small handful of passable SF novels and an overwhelming amount of utter crap.
The world's burning. Moped Jesus spotted on I50. Details at 11.
A likely sanitized version of Han Solo? No thanks.
I tend to agree. The Star Wars (And Star Trek) Universe needs to be put to an end.
Star Trek was a reflections of the 1960's and 1970's
Star Wars is a Reflection of the 1970's and 1980's
Star Trek TNG, Was a reflection of the 1980 and 1990's
Star Trek vs TNG, did a decent job modernizing they did it by in essence mostly ignoring the original series (especially after the first season, where it was a bit too much like the original)
But as time went on they kept on building new and new additions and created a universe that is now dated by today's standard.
When they made Star Wars Episodes 1-3 they sucked, because we had to try to implement a modern style to an old film.
If something is so important that you feel the need to post it on the internet... It probably isn't that important.
I have a bad feeling about this...
(sorry...)
> When they made Star Wars Episodes 1-3 they sucked, because we had to try to implement a modern style to an old film.
Hm. And why did we have to do that?
They sucked for a variety of reasons -- casting, plot, dialog, but they also sucked because there seemed to be a rule that every square inch of screen needed to be squirming with cutesy protoplasm or cutesy robotics. Agreed, the original Star Wars was a 1970's take on 1930's SF serials, but the prequels were... I dunno what. Really expensive self parody, I guess. And not the good kind.
Ignoring all the other things for a minute, a "style" like the original film -- sparse, concise, with callbacks to older serials but without overdoing it, might have been less unpleasant to watch.
Oliver's law of assumed responsibility: If you're seen fixing it, you will be blamed for breaking it.
Put in more little robots! And I want cutesy creatures here, and here, and here and here and here and here and here. The main character has to grab a fruit with his tongue! Kids love that!
The main character is human, George.
Well, make him something else then. With a funny accent. Kids love that.
Shut up, George.
Oliver's law of assumed responsibility: If you're seen fixing it, you will be blamed for breaking it.
> When they made Star Wars Episodes 1-3 they sucked, because we had to try to implement a modern style to an old film.
... you were able to narrow it down to one reason?
Wait
Bark less. Wag more.
Make more theme worlds, because apparently the universe is populated by jungle worlds, metal worlds, forest worlds, magma worlds, ice worlds and desert worlds.
The world's burning. Moped Jesus spotted on I50. Details at 11.
Point. If Lucas properly understood scale, the entire series could have taken place on one planet.
Oliver's law of assumed responsibility: If you're seen fixing it, you will be blamed for breaking it.
Personally, I suspect this means we can expect to see Batman make an appearance.
Every time I watch them, I come up with another reason to loathe them. Mind you, it's been about five years since the last viewing of any Star Wars film, so I'll probably have forgotten half the reasons the prequels stunk so very very badly.
I remember clearly watching The Phantom Menace and realizing the extent of the suckage when C3PO turns out to be Darth Vader's droid. I was still reeling from the midichlorians nonsense, and then that. Of course, by the time pod-racer video game advertisement had taken up most of the second act, I realized that George Lucas wasn't just a greedy bastard, but well and truly had no fucking idea how to make an at least enjoyable film anymore. Two more prequels and the last Indiana Jones movie convinced me that Lucas was done even as an action-adventure director (the latter demonstrated that he had lost even the basic concept of pacing).
The world's burning. Moped Jesus spotted on I50. Details at 11.
God, I really hope they follow the Han Solo Trilogy, 1: because I must have read them 10 times each as a teenager, and 2: because they are pretty decent, as far as Star Wars novels go, and did a good job of retconning all the weird shit Lucas did (the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs for example)
I've decided to Diversify my Holdings. I've divided my cash between my left and right pockets, instead of all in one.
Then why did you keep watching them? I've seen each of the original three once and have no desire to watch them again. I don't find them that good. I last at most 10 minutes into Episode 1 when it was on TV.
The movie was called "Serenity"
Why was this marked troll? Anybody who has actually watched any of the "behind the scenes" stuff on Lucas knows 1-3 might as well have been parody as it was done by someone who no longer understood his own films and was as clueless as any ad exec!
I mean you thought the ALIENS in Crystal Skull was bad? Lucas wanted to make the movie in a Haunted House, like a 1940s slapstick! Picture Indy with a bumbling black sidekick doing the "lawdy I sees a spook!" bit and that is about the level we are talking here. I'm sure you can find Spielberg talking about it on YouTube, and just look at his face when he mentions it, its that "DaFuq was he thinking?" look times ten.
Look I really REALLY liked classic Lucas, hell I even enjoyed Howard The Duck for its 80s cheesy goodness but lets face facts folks....too many years with too much money just killed whatever creative spark the man had. Seriously watch the behind the scenes stuff on the prequels, the man just didn't have what it takes to cook up good sci-fi by that point and it showed. You don't have to watch Mr Plinkett to see that damned near every shot in that movie was just plain bad, bad dialog, bad blocking, too much filler in the background, bad script, I'm sorry but the talent that came up with 4-6? Just wasn't there anymore.
ACs don't waste your time replying, your posts are never seen by me.
I sympathise with most Lucas complaints, but this is a pretty weird one. Are you suggesting that, because our particular planet has a lot of diversity (and do I need to point out that pretty much all of the other planets we've discovered are NOT diverse at all?) that all space operas should take place on a single planet? You don't think that might diminish the epicness a tad? You don't think that changing a planet-destroying weapon to, I don't know, a continent-destroying weapon would have been a tad lame?
The SW universe being too big is not a problem. In fact, its sense of size is one of the biggest things it had going for it, and it is precisely Lucas's unhealthy devotion to self-referential character-recycling smallness that drags things down--the main characters are all laboriously and ridiculously connected/related/cloned so that they are present or connected to all critical characters and all critical plot points. Boba Fett was a neat little background character that developed a strong cult following, so Lucas... decides to make him *the* clone of the mysterious 'clone wars', which is ridiculous from pretty much every single angle except the angle that he gets to prominently include a fan favorite in the prequels.
I'm sorry but the talent that came up with 4-6? Just wasn't there anymore.
The talent that made 4-6 was Kasdan, even though he wasn't there for 4. What was the best Indy film? The only one Kasdan was involved in. Kasdan is back, and that might just save the franchise.
Lucas's defence for Crystal Skull was that viewers didn't understand his source material, and that's true, but in a way irrelevant. Lucas grew up reading adventure comics that mixed magic and aliens and mysticism and everything else on a whim -- the legacy of that lives on in Marvel's current cinematic line-up where the god of thunder works alongside a man in a homemade robotic exoskeleton, a WWII hero on steroids and a bloody archer to fight off a menace from another world who have interbred with humans to create an ancient bloodlne of superpowered beings. Head to the comic world and you could even add in a sorcerer and a genetic mutant, then send them all through time to face off against the grandfather of the devil. I like to think of Crystal Skull as the sequel to Temple of Doom. You remember Temple of Doom, right? Using a life-raft as a parachute/sledge combo, a ridiculously twisty mine shaft booby-trapped with an ugly great boulder etc. That wasn't Kasdan -- that was Lucas. What we all rmmber as Indy is Raiders of the lost Ark, where Kasdan really paid homage to the source material while constructing a genuinely good film. Over-the-top Nazis, wisecracks and character interplay, even the scene with the creepy gestapo guy reaching towards the camera after burning his hand -- all pulled straight from pulp comics, and deftly done. Crucially, it kept all the magic and mysticism to the very end, and Jones cynical to the last, so there was some kind of reveal and change. The Last Crusade was a sequel to Raiders, but somewhat formulaic and slightly overplayed. But again, Nazis, and no magic until the end, after facing all sorts of mechanical pseudo-magic.
So I have some hope for the Star Wars sequels. However, I'm not sure about a Han origin story. Han shot first. Han was rehabilitated by Luke and Leia. So Han should be a bastard, but current Hollywood narratives don't work that way. Now there are goodies and baddies.
Got them moderator blues I blieve I walk out the do', With these mod-points I been gettin', I 'most never post no mo'
Lucas was trying to analyse his own writing in a technical way. A New Hope was Hidden Fortress + WWII dogfighting. He tried to make... I don't know, something + Ben Hur chariot racing for EpI. But then he made it very unlike the Ben Hur chariot race. Why was the scene in Ben Hur so powerful? Because it was realistic -- in order to get the riders to take more risks, the stunt director turned it into a real race by offering prize money to the first finisher. Several horses were killed because of that. Yet Lucas went out of his wy to make the pod race entirely unrealistic. All that remained of the chariot theme was the stupid little pods that were tethered in a way vaguely reminiscent of horses. He also managed to tell us that the rebels and the Empire were complete morons for manning their fighter fleets with the species with the worst reactions in the galaxy, a species who can't even win a bloody car race if they're not blessed with a demi-god level of Jedi powers.
Got them moderator blues I blieve I walk out the do', With these mod-points I been gettin', I 'most never post no mo'