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Apple's Recycling Initiatives Recover $40 Million In Gold (macrumors.com)
An anonymous reader writes: Apple released its latest annual environmental report yesterday with numbers detailing how much the company has been able to recover from old devices. Business Insider notes that Apple was able to recover over 61 million pounds of steel, aluminum, glass, and other materials from its computers and iPhones. This includes a total of 2,204 pounds of gold worth $40 million at current prices ($1,229.80 per troy ounce of gold). Cult of Mac ran the figures quoted by Apple through today's metal prices, and came up with individual figures for copper ($6.4 million), aluminum ($3.2 million), silver ($1.6 million), nickel ($160,426), zinc ($109,503), and lead ($33,999). Last month, Apple unveiled an iPhone recycling robot, named Liam, that salvages old parts.
I wanted my Iphone laid to rest as I knew it in life.
Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.
A couple years ago, while taking my asian girlfriend shopping at the local mall, I had to take a piss. As I entered the john, Steve Jobs -- the messiah himself -- came out of one of the booths. I stood at the urinal looking at him out of the corner of my eye as he washed his hands. He didn't once look at me. He was busy and in any case I was sure the security guards wouldn't even let me shake his hand.
As soon as he left I darted into the booth he'd vacated, hoping there might be a lingering smell of shit and even a seat still warm from his sturdy ass. I found not only the smell but the shit itself. He'd forgotten to flush. And what a treasure he had left behind. Three or four beautiful specimens floated in the bowl. It apparently had been a fairly dry, constipated shit, for all were fat, stiff, and ruggedly textured. The real prize was a great feast of turd -- a nine inch gastrointestinal triumph as thick as his cock -- or at least as I imagined it!
I knelt before the bowl, inhaling the rich brown fragrance and wondered if I should obey the impulse building up inside me. I'd always been a liberal thinker and had been an Apple customer since 1984. Of course I'd had fantasies of meeting Jobs, sucking his cock and balls, not to mention sucking his asshole clean, but I never imagined I would have the chance. Now, here I was, confronted with the most beautiful five-pound turd I'd ever feasted my eyes on, a sausage fit to star in any fantasy and one I knew to have been hatched from the asshole of Steve Jobs, the chosen one.
Why not? I plucked it from the bowl, holding it with both hands to keep it from breaking. I lifted it to my nose. It smelled like rich, ripe limburger (horrid, but thrilling), yet had the consistency of cheddar. What is cheese anyway but milk turning to shit without the benefit of a digestive tract?
I gave it a lick and found that it tasted better then it smelled.
I hesitated no longer. I shoved the fucking thing as far into my mouth as I could get it and sucked on it like a big half nigger cock, beating my meat like a madman, and thrusting my pink iPod Shuffle into my ass. I wanted to completely engulf it and bit off a large chunk, flooding my mouth with the intense, bittersweet flavor. To my delight I found that while the water in the bowl had chilled the outside of the turd, it was still warm inside. As I chewed I discovered that it was filled with hard little bits of something I soon identified as peanuts. He hadn't chewed them carefully and they'd passed through his body virtually unchanged. I ate it greedily, sending lump after peanutty lump sliding scratchily down my throat. My only regret was that Steve Jobs wasn't there to see my loyalty and wash it down with his piss.
I soon reached a terrific climax. I caught my cum in the cupped palm of my hand and drank it down. Believe me, there is no more delightful combination of flavors than the hot sweetness of cum with the rich bitterness of shit. It's even better than reading an Apple press release!
Afterwards I was sorry that I hadn't made it last longer. But then I realized that I still had a lot of fun in store for me. There was still a clutch of virile turds left in the bowl. I tenderly fished them out, rolled them into my handkerchief, and stashed them in my briefcase. In the week to come I found all kinds of ways to eat the shit without bolting it right down. Once eaten it's gone forever unless you want to filch it third hand out of your own asshole. Not an unreasonable recourse in moments of desperation or simple boredom.
I stored the turds in the refrigerator when I was not using them but within a week they were all gone. The last one I held in my mouth without chewing, letting it slowly dissolve. I had liquid shit trickling down my throat for nearly four hours. I must have had six orgasms in the process.
I often think of Steve Jobs dropping solid gold out of his sweet, pink asshole every day, never knowing what joy it could, and at least once did, bring to a grateful Apple customer.
I feel sick.
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And they only spent 100M recovering the said gold. Bargain and twice the price
If information wants to be free, why does my internet connection cost so much?
hate us.
The troy ounce (oz t) is a unit of imperial measure, now commonly used to measure the mass (weight, in common parlance) of precious metals. One troy ounce is defined as exactly 31.1034768 g, which may be used to denote the value of a precious metal.
so that's about $39,539 (USD) per kilogram of gold.
Anons need not reply. Questions end with a question mark.
The troy ounce is about 10% heavier (ratio 192/175) than the avoirdupois ounce, used for everyday purposes in the United States, which equals 28.349523125 g.
Interestingly, the wikipedia page continues with:
Troy ounces are still often used in precious metal markets in countries that otherwise use the metric system
Whereas the French page says it is in use mainly in English-speaking countries for precious metals. Yet, in a funny twist of history:
The name "troy" is first attested in 1390. Though it is often connected to a fair at the city of Troyes, France, this story may have been invented in the 18th century.
Of course, the French page does not say anything about the story being apocryphal.
Oh my god. Can we mass-produce those and let them roam the streets? This could be a society changer. Pull out a phone in public at your own peril.
All part of the plan for establishing an Apple Central Bank with its own currency backed by gold.
A lot of the gold being produced today is in ores containing other metals such as copper, silver and uranium.
I recently decided to update my 8 year-old laptop with one of their new three-year old models, and checked the "I'd like to recycle my old computer" box, figuring it'd save me something like $45 compared to bringing it to the local recycling center. The site said I was supposed to get a box in which to return the computer, which didn't arrive with the laptop.
Apple sent me an eMail asking about my experience with my "mac" (phrasing which violates their own trademark policy), but haven't responded to my inquiry yet. This is the first time I've bought an Apple product seeing that option; the last time I bought an Apple product was the 2006 Mac Mini. Is this just a phantom option, or was this a fluke?
As an aside: Slashdot people, you're setting the background on input boxes (like this comment box) as white (#fff) but not setting the text colour. Because my version of FireFox for whatever reason refuses to use anything but GNome's/GTKs settings, that means I've got white on white without using firebug to remove the background rule.
Doesn't this number sound a little high? They've recovered 61 million pounds of material?
Older iphones weighed about 5 ounces, so let's say 3 phones per pound.
This means they've recycled 183 million iphones?
How many iphones actually get recycled? I know I still have all of mine (actually my kids have them)
I'm calling BS
Its not just about greening Apple's image and making customers feel good. It is also about removing used phones from the market. To interfere with a secondary market (used) that is competing with the primary market (new).
And they only spent 100M recovering the said gold. Bargain and twice the price
Your missing something. Apple's 100M effort to remove used phones from the secondary market (used) in order to reduce competition for the primary market (new) is subsidized to the amount of 40M by recycling the phones removed from the market. Plus there is a further subsidy through public relations and brand image from the greening this program offers.
And the upcoming robotic disassembly may yield to more efficient recycling/recovery than shredding and other current methods.