Slashdot Mirror
Smart Mattress With Lover Detection System Will Track Your Partner's Infidelities (hothardware.com)
MojoKid quotes a report from HotHardware: Do you worry that your significant other is having mid-day romps in your bedroom while you're stuck at work banging out TPS reports? There's an app for that, and a smart mattress with built-in sensors to detect when between-the-sheet activities are taking place, with or without your participation. It's part of what a mattress company in Spain is calling its "lover detection system." You can't make this stuff up. Or maybe you can. You might seriously question whether or not the so-called Smarttress from Durmet is a real thing or an attempt at a viral marketing stunt. By all accounts, it certainly looks real. There are two dozen ultrasonic sensors embedded in the springs of the mattress. These tell-all sensors detect the speed and intensity of motion, how long the mattress has been active, and the history of encounters. That data is used to create a 3D map in real time, which you can view on your mobile device with an app for either iOS or Android devices.
Capitalism has officially jumped the shark.
Table-ized A.I.
It's obvious to me that any one that would even consider this is already too far gone in how far they trust their significant other to remain a viable married couple.
File under 'M' for 'Manic ranting'
How would you replace the old mattress with this new one without your wife knowing (and thus moving her trysts)?
"I don't know, therefore Aliens" Wafflebox1
"...But there's gonna be a meter on your bed
That will disclose
What everybody knows " L. Cohen, "Everybody Knows"
"Honestly, honey, the kids were jumping on the bed."
Disconnect your television. Do your own research. Draw your own conclusions. They're probably lying. Don't be a sheep.
Mod the box spring coils to harvest energy. Get a tax credit from the gov't. Wife thinks she's getting away with something by having lovers over. Laugh quietly to myself as I get paid.
Have gnu, will travel.
I wonder is this was originally developed for sleep tracking (monitoring the length and quality of your sleep), and they've just hit upon a more exciting marketing strategy.
Good luck explaining to your wife why there is an Ethernet cable running to the mattress, or (even if it's wifi) why there is a power cord running to the mattress and one of the devices on the home network is called "mattress". Planning for infidelity can be self-fulfilling.
I'm an American. I love this country and the freedoms that we used to have.
Tiffany Panting Sancroft Reports... she is a slut.
I need this to know when the dog gets on the bed during the workday.
John McAfee 'It was like that time I hired that Bangkok prostitute; to do my taxes, while I fucked my accountant'
I'm glad this tech wasn't around in my younger days.
They will be tracking you one day, collecting data on everything you do, and probably collecting vitals. Unfortunately, now is the time to enact privacy laws, but you will continue to loose the battle on a daily basis. It's a good thing that you were able to post your dog farting on facebook though.
I hope you at least put down a towel. That's the chair where I watch the hockey playoffs.
And while you're at it, you think you can keep her busy at least until the finals are over?
You are welcome on my lawn.
In no-fault divorce, the division of property is done by the judge using guidelines set by law, not by who is the worst stinker. Alimony is awarded based on how long the other partner should need to earn their own way in the world, not on how rotten a bastard you are.
"Transparent" is a shit show that trades on every stereotype going. A man in drag is NOT a transsexual.
A meter... needs to be installed.
It's called a pimp. They have them in some places.