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Smart Mattress With Lover Detection System Will Track Your Partner's Infidelities (hothardware.com)
MojoKid quotes a report from HotHardware: Do you worry that your significant other is having mid-day romps in your bedroom while you're stuck at work banging out TPS reports? There's an app for that, and a smart mattress with built-in sensors to detect when between-the-sheet activities are taking place, with or without your participation. It's part of what a mattress company in Spain is calling its "lover detection system." You can't make this stuff up. Or maybe you can. You might seriously question whether or not the so-called Smarttress from Durmet is a real thing or an attempt at a viral marketing stunt. By all accounts, it certainly looks real. There are two dozen ultrasonic sensors embedded in the springs of the mattress. These tell-all sensors detect the speed and intensity of motion, how long the mattress has been active, and the history of encounters. That data is used to create a 3D map in real time, which you can view on your mobile device with an app for either iOS or Android devices.
Capitalism has officially jumped the shark.
Table-ized A.I.
It's obvious to me that any one that would even consider this is already too far gone in how far they trust their significant other to remain a viable married couple.
File under 'M' for 'Manic ranting'
Mod the box spring coils to harvest energy. Get a tax credit from the gov't. Wife thinks she's getting away with something by having lovers over. Laugh quietly to myself as I get paid.
Have gnu, will travel.
I hope you at least put down a towel. That's the chair where I watch the hockey playoffs.
And while you're at it, you think you can keep her busy at least until the finals are over?
You are welcome on my lawn.