Slashdot Mirror

← Back to Stories (view on slashdot.org)

Smart Mattress With Lover Detection System Will Track Your Partner's Infidelities (hothardware.com)

Posted by BeauHD on from the rat-out-cheaters dept.

MojoKid quotes a report from HotHardware: Do you worry that your significant other is having mid-day romps in your bedroom while you're stuck at work banging out TPS reports? There's an app for that, and a smart mattress with built-in sensors to detect when between-the-sheet activities are taking place, with or without your participation. It's part of what a mattress company in Spain is calling its "lover detection system." You can't make this stuff up. Or maybe you can. You might seriously question whether or not the so-called Smarttress from Durmet is a real thing or an attempt at a viral marketing stunt. By all accounts, it certainly looks real. There are two dozen ultrasonic sensors embedded in the springs of the mattress. These tell-all sensors detect the speed and intensity of motion, how long the mattress has been active, and the history of encounters. That data is used to create a 3D map in real time, which you can view on your mobile device with an app for either iOS or Android devices.

11 of 161 comments (clear)

  1. Re:Creepy by Tablizer · · Score: 5, Funny

    Capitalism has officially jumped the shark.

    --
    Table-ized A.I.
  2. If you need this, then it's already too late. by mark-t · · Score: 5, Insightful

    It's obvious to me that any one that would even consider this is already too far gone in how far they trust their significant other to remain a viable married couple.

    --
    File under 'M' for 'Manic ranting'
    1. Re: If you need this, then it's already too late. by Anonymice · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Because it'd raise even less questions if you replaced your fuck-buddy's mattress...

  3. Leonard Cohen predicted this... by ToughRat · · Score: 3, Interesting

    "...But there's gonna be a meter on your bed
    That will disclose
    What everybody knows " L. Cohen, "Everybody Knows"

  4. What could go wrong? by infinite9 · · Score: 4, Funny

    "Honestly, honey, the kids were jumping on the bed."

    --
    Disconnect your television. Do your own research. Draw your own conclusions. They're probably lying. Don't be a sheep.
    1. Re: What could go wrong? by Type44Q · · Score: 4, Funny

      "Geez, Honey, you already know I'm a furious masturbator!"

  5. Renewable Energy Credit by PPH · · Score: 5, Funny

    Mod the box spring coils to harvest energy. Get a tax credit from the gov't. Wife thinks she's getting away with something by having lovers over. Laugh quietly to myself as I get paid.

    --
    Have gnu, will travel.
  6. Sleep tracking? by edjs · · Score: 4, Insightful

    I wonder is this was originally developed for sleep tracking (monitoring the length and quality of your sleep), and they've just hit upon a more exciting marketing strategy.

  7. Good Luck With That by frovingslosh · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Good luck explaining to your wife why there is an Ethernet cable running to the mattress, or (even if it's wifi) why there is a power cord running to the mattress and one of the devices on the home network is called "mattress". Planning for infidelity can be self-fulfilling.

    --
    I'm an American. I love this country and the freedoms that we used to have.
    1. Re:Good Luck With That by BarbaraHudson · · Score: 3, Funny

      This is slashdot. It's more likely there's a power cord running to his mistress.

      --
      "Transparent" is a shit show that trades on every stereotype going. A man in drag is NOT a transsexual.
  8. Re:What a stupid invention. by PopeRatzo · · Score: 5, Funny

    I bend your wife over the La-z-boy

    I hope you at least put down a towel. That's the chair where I watch the hockey playoffs.

    And while you're at it, you think you can keep her busy at least until the finals are over?

    --
    You are welcome on my lawn.