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Online Bullying Counselling on Increase, Says Childline (bbc.com)
An anonymous reader shares a BBC report:The number of children and young people needing counseling about online bullying has increased by 88 percent over five years, according to a helpline. The NSPCC's Childline service said it counselled more than 4,500 children in the past year compared to about 2,400 in 2011-12. The total number suffering online abuse is thought to be far higher. Some children as young as seven told Childline how they were tormented, abused and scared to go to school. The charity said online trolls caused misery and humiliation for thousands of children. Childline's president Dame Esther Rantzen said the figures should be a wake-up call.
"Bullying can wreck young people's lives, especially now that the bullies don't stop at the school gates," she said. Cyber-bullying can follow them home until it becomes a persecution they cannot escape.
...I have been bullied on Slashdot many many times! But never again! I won't allow it.
moist years. Moist because of all the tears.
An important psychological study may be to determine why younger generation doesn't just "walk away" from the online bullying when there isn't a physical intimidation keeping them from it. I remember my daughter freaking out because she participated in this absolutely weird "ask.fm" where you anonymously ask and answer questions about a person. My first response to seeing what was being said was rage, but then I said to her...just don't go there. Don't ask anonymous questions about yourself...don't answer questions about other people. No one has power over you if you just ignore it. And luckily that was enough and it was no longer a problem. But years go by and kids seem just so attached to their social personas that they can't just walk way. I get into an argument on facebook or whatever and I'll just close it if I get too worked up. And voila I stop thinking about it. But kids don't seem to have that capability and it makes me wonder why not.
It depends on how far the "bullying" goes. Actual threats are not protected speech. Also, putting a stop to bullying does not have to involve law enforcement. If I heard from another parent that my kid was humiliating or insulting another kid online, I would put a stop to it, regardless of whether it is illegal.
But mostly kids need to learn about the "off" button.
You have the right to bear arms. But not the right to shoot people, just because you have a gun.
The same thing with free speech. Bullying isn't protected by free speech, as it is a form of attack
If something is so important that you feel the need to post it on the internet... It probably isn't that important.
That post should not have been modded down.
*There will be no love, except the love of Big Brother. There will be no laughter, except the laugh of triumph over a defeated enemy. There will be no art, no literature, no science. When we are omnipotent we shall have no more need of science. There will be no distinction between beauty and ugliness. There will be no curiosity, no enjoyment of the process of life. All competing pleasures will be destroyed.*
“He’s not deformed, he’s just drunk!”
This is the UK, not the USA. They are nuts over there.
I was bullied the old-fashioned way when I was in 2nd grade by a tenacious chubby jerk. Most kids join a social clique to help them via numbers, but I was a shy.
As painful as it was, I have to say it was a useful life lesson. Life is full of jerks and bullies and one MUST learn to deal with them one way or another. I've encountered sociopathic conniving assholes in the office also.
It's probably unrealistic to try to stop all bullies and trolls. Thus, children need to be taught how to deal with them, whether it's via eastern meditation, counseling, karate or combination. Different solutions may be better for different children.
Such lesson from my youth also help me to mostly tune out online bullies/trolls, having had a couple of nasty encounters. I just hate the practical aspect of forum text wasted on their repetition of insults and BS. It's comparable to spam on steroids. If they don't get their way, they'll try sink the entire ship via repetition and clutter.
Table-ized A.I.
I cannot for the life of me understand how it is possible to be bullied online. In my day the bully stole your lunch money, or beat the shit out of you if you refused to give it to him. You learned to stay away from him very quickly. Sad story of bullying over. How is it that we now have a society where children are incapable figuring out how to stay away from bullies.
That post should not have been modded down.
Well yes. The sarcasm is obvious. But perhaps the down-mod came from people who recognized it as a snarky comment and seriously think that we should be banning free speech. And this was a comment that should be pushed below the visibility threshold.
These are scary times that we live in. Today its just mod points. Tomorrow the van will be around to your house.
Have gnu, will travel.
I have become essentially immune from even the most caustic comments.
Shut up you puss-faced little pimpstick!
Whoops! So sorry. Yes, I agree with that assessment. On the other hand US politics aren't exactly a perfect picture of sanity either.
Stolen from another site:
Britain: Brexit is the most shocking thing a country will do this year.
America: Hold my beer...
“He’s not deformed, he’s just drunk!”
Oh great. My kid just read your comment and is now trying to shut down my mod{#`%${%&`+'${`%&NO CARRIER
we should ban free speech so that crybabies can have a safe space. Best start with eliminating all negative stories, including this one.
Like Trump suggested, we should shut down the internet. I look forward to Melania to take care of this problem
This is an excellent analogy. I'd mod you insightful if I had any points. Well stated.
I don't think you remember what it was like, internally, to be a kid, or maybe you never experienced being bullied as a kid? Back before the Internet, dealing with bullies only required a little courage, since most bullies are cowards to start with, and standing up to them usually has them back down. Even if they beat you, you stood up to them and that gains the respect of other kids. 'A coward dies a thousand deaths' is the saying, as I remember. In some cases bullies will even respect you if you stand up to them, ending the problem. Since the advent of the Internet, however, courage has more or less become nullified. Online bullies ('trolls') can use anonymizing tactics to multiply their attacks on someone, limited only by the amount of time they want to spend arranging to harass someone, and the target can't really do anything of substance about it. Even staying off the Internet doesn't help because they'll continue to be attacked in absentia, and since it's the Internet, those attacks persist long after they've been posted. This is not as simple a problem to solve as it used to be, when a punch in the nose usually ended the problem once and for all.
Dr. Hibbert: modern Medicine has a lousy record of treating the back. We spend too much time on the front.
Homer: Yeah, there’s some neat stuff in the front.
"In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women..." -H. Simpson
Totally agree, except for a bit like here:
"when a punch in the nose usually ended the problem once and for all."
That worked for some bullies, some not. It also worked for some of those being bullied, some not.
---
Overall I think the problem of bullying falls on the adult's who use it to various degrees themselves, and I don't think cutting it out is censoring anymore than preventing physical violence is censoring.
"They have no physical intrinsic power."
Bullying has physical consequences, and there is a wealth of neurological data to support that.
Moderating of political topics on slashdot is indeed odd. Sometimes I get "-1" saying something on Story X, but saying the same thing on Story Y I get a "3". Go figure.
Table-ized A.I.
But bullying *is* a form of censure
" If you complain about it, they call your family and your employer and say that you are a white supremacist who is harassing women on the internet."
So are you saying that shouldn't be stopped?
Yeah but that doesn't work for everyone, how many parents are bullies, to various degrees, themselves
I don't know why everyone is so eager to shove this behavior underground. Then you'll have mystery suicides and wonder why.
In this case, 'zero tolerance' policies and the predictive miss of Trump's win last week have a lot in common.
HBI's Law: Frequency of calling others Nazis is directly correlated with the likelihood of the accuser being Communist.
I guess you could bully with only emotion and physical body position. I guess a bullet made of jello would cause physical change to your body. Now that I think about it, I'm not sure why bullying being less a physical thing than gun is relevant.
But bullying *is* a form of censure
How so? In person it is to the extent that a bully an exploit your fear of physical violence to affect your behavior. On line, not so much. What is there to be afraid of? It's only ones and zeros and every four-eyed 90 pound weakling can stand up to the best of them.
Have gnu, will travel.
Back before the Internet, dealing with bullies only required a little courage
Nonsense. Victims do not "deserve" to be bullied because they are cowards. "Courage" has little to do with it. Bullies pick on kids that are smaller, younger and weaker. "Standing up to them" may work in the movies, but it almost never works that way in real life, where a punch to a bully often means more torment that ever.
When you tell your 5 year old not to swear, are you not banning their free speech? My point is there's a movable line and you can't always make clear calls.
"What is there to be afraid of? It's only ones and zeros and every four-eyed 90 pound weakling can stand up to the best of them."
One and zeros, and then there's emotion, and the online bullies you also see every day at school, and ...
let kids participate in the purge! ;)
Anons need not reply. Questions end with a question mark.
Bullying isn't protected by free speech
Unless it involves specific realistic threats, online "bullying" is protected speech. There is no law against insults and teasing. You have no right to not be offended. If you don't like it, then close the browser tab.
The new TUFN UP plan will eliminate the need for counseling for cyberbullying entirely.
If our children don't get online bully counselling, how will they ever get good at it?
Because I am in my impenetrable Safe Space! And you just got triggered!
Victims do not "deserve" to be bullied because they are cowards
I never said that, you're completely reading that into it and corrupting what I'm saying.
"Standing up to them" may work in the movies, but it almost never works that way in real life
There is literally no point in going through life as a perpetual victim and every reason to teach kids to stick up for themselves, and you should be ashamed to suggest anything different.
and then there's emotion,
Learn to handle it. You are going to have to deal with it as an adult.
and the online bullies you also see every day at school
So what? First rule: We don't tolerate physical violence. Period. So no matter what someone says, it won't go further than words.
I know. That's not the way the world works today. But that's what we have to change. Not the speech part. Bullies resort to violence? They get expelled and maybe go to prison. School administrators and law enforcement don't enforce a zero tolerance policy? They lose their jobs. Forever.
School is a safe place where you get to learn these lessons. Because if the bullies don't learn them, when they reach adulthood and try to beat someone, they'll get shot. Suddenly, everyone is equal.
Have gnu, will travel.
That worked for some bullies, some not. It also worked for some of those being bullied, some not.
As I just said to someone else: There's absolutely no reason whatsoever to NOT teach kids to stick up for themselves, and NO reason whatsoever to go through life as a perpetual victim.
When you punch the bully you need to hurt him/her.
You don't need to win the fight, but you need to hurt the motherfucker.
John McAfee 'It was like that time I hired that Bangkok prostitute; to do my taxes, while I fucked my accountant'
Learning to deal with bullies is vital training.
You don't remember much about school if you think it used to be 'intermittent and partially escapable'. It hasn't changed, it has just moved.
Of course some people learn to deal with it all wrong and grow up to be SJWs. Getting kids to stand up for themselves prevents this. Not going to go through life as victims (and they always will be).
John McAfee 'It was like that time I hired that Bangkok prostitute; to do my taxes, while I fucked my accountant'
They're bullying you online? There is this neat feature called "block". You can do it on Facebook, email, and there is even an app for those pesky texts. That'll be $200 plz.
Where was the trigger warning that this story and the comments within may offend my sensibilities by being exposed to attitudes and ideas that are inconsistent with my own?
. .
There is literally no point in going through life as a perpetual victim and every reason to teach kids to stick up for themselves
If your kid comes to you for help, the worst thing you can say is "I am not going to do shit to help you, you are on your own, so use violence." That is a terrible life lesson, because real life beyond junior high school is nothing like that.
Back before the Internet, dealing with bullies only required a little courage
Nonsense. Victims do not "deserve" to be bullied because they are cowards. "Courage" has little to do with it. Bullies pick on kids that are smaller, younger and weaker. "Standing up to them" may work in the movies, but it almost never works that way in real life, where a punch to a bully often means more torment that ever.
Oddly enough, back in Junior High, the hot trick was finding a larger kid that wouldn't fight you, and harass them. One of those kids was me. My parents had taught me that it took a bigger man to walk away from a fight.
In the end, however, I got to be a "bigger man" several times each day.
And the school was no help. Upon reportingg this to the administrators, all I got was a threat of suspension even after noting that I was being hit. So I knew I was in that by myself. So I decided one day that this ends here.
A nice fall afternoon, and with some extra time at lunch we were allowed outside for 20 minutes.
Here comes some asshole bully and his friends...
Fred: "Hey Olsoc! Bill here say you told him I was a fuckin sissy!"
Me: "Nope"
Bill: "You calling me a liar Olsoc?"
Me: You're a fucking liar Bill! What are you going to do about it?"
Bill was a little surprised, but he had to be tough. So he took a swing and connected. That was the only thing he connected. After a flurry of rage fueled punches, he was on the ground.
Me: "Who's next?"
They all walked away, muttering, and I was surrounded by applause. Fortunately, the shop teacher was there, and he took me aside and told me that I wasn't supposed to solve problems with violence, and "Good job, man! Now get to class." Never got turned in, and Mr bully had a hellava shiner all that week. In one of those weird Junior High things, we became friends.
But the bullying stopped right there and never returned.
The shepherds did so well protecting the flock that the sheep no longer believed that wolves existed.
If violence doesn't solve your problem, you just aren't using enough of it.
John McAfee 'It was like that time I hired that Bangkok prostitute; to do my taxes, while I fucked my accountant'
You have the right to bear arms. But not the right to shoot people, just because you have a gun. The same thing with free speech. Bullying isn't protected by free speech, as it is a form of attack
The problem of course, is define bullying. People think that is easy, but there are dozens.
I owuld define it as an actual physical threat, which is already a actionable matter. Other's define it as calling someone names like idiot or moron. Others define it as disagreement. Others as any unkind behavior.
Is "Go die in a fire!" bullying? Is "Go step on a Lego" bullying? Is "Jamie, that's the worst idea I've ever heard!" bullying? Is Jamie - don't be stupid!" Bullying? Is " Jamie, I just don't think you belong in our social group" bullying? Is "Jamie - you're a moron!" bullying?
Children need to be taught to take care of themselves. A child who feels bullied needs to know this stuff.
As well, I cringe a little bit when we hear the stories about some teenager that commits suicide because of the internet. Did it really happen that way? Children have committed suicide forever, and it might be convenient to blame it on the internet, but unfortunately there was almost certainly something wrong with the poor child long before one of the kids in class called them a name. I had a classmate commit suicide. she was cute as a button, and quite popular. But she was depressed. Another committed suicide because his girlfriend split up with him. Drove his car off a cliff. But at base, he was depressed.
The shepherds did so well protecting the flock that the sheep no longer believed that wolves existed.
"They have no physical intrinsic power."
Bullying has physical consequences, and there is a wealth of neurological data to support that.
Life itself has physical consequences. I was bullied, with no help from parents or school. Some times you are just in a situation whether you want to be or not. Children should learn that. Instead, we seem to be inculcating them with the idea that there should be no negativity in their life. Like it or not, sometime you gotta grow a set.
The shepherds did so well protecting the flock that the sheep no longer believed that wolves existed.
If you don't think people use violence outside of junior high school, then you probably don't get out much.
Bullying isn't protected by free speech
Unless it involves specific realistic threats, online "bullying" is protected speech. There is no law against insults and teasing. You have no right to not be offended. If you don't like it, then close the browser tab.
I found the definition https://news.illinois.edu/blog... "The participants, 700 children and 38 teachers, also were provided with a definition of bullying that included physical behaviors such as pushing or hitting, verbal abuse such as saying mean things or calling other people names, and relational aggression, such as excluding a classmate from play.
Ugh. This is offensive in itself. It reeks of safe spaces where no one can disagree with you, and an exceptionaly tight control of expression.
Saying mean things? Jeebuz that's weak. That means that a person can be bullied by a different person writing to a different person.
The shepherds did so well protecting the flock that the sheep no longer believed that wolves existed.
If you don't think people use violence outside of junior high school, then you probably don't get out much.
Of course life outside of JHS has violence. That doesn't mean resorting to violence is the "right thing to do". Violence is almost never the correct choice.
Children that are bullied are the most likely to later be bullies themselves, especially if they see that the system does nothing to protect victims.
Stop giving your under 12 year old children internet access that early.
It doesn't make any sense for "children as young as seven..." to access internet chat and runs back to mommy for being bullied when they don't even know the difference between an online game vs an offline game (you sure it wasn't Wario bullying you?).
If you really want your kids to have an iPhone or whatever to access internet, be damn if they dropped it but at least limit the websites to only a few. If they learn to unblock other websites, then it's on their own.
This just tells me an increase of "88 percent over five years" of incompetence parents dealing with kids.
Cyberbullying is an improvement over IRL bullying, where only the strong and/or popular could bully the weak.
Now anyone can cyberbully anyone, because on the Internet, nobody knows you are a dog!
Block the offending websites with your router.
Kids can survive without Facebook and similar shit.
If they keep taking it so seriously, just screen it from the network at the home or buy them a fuggin; flip phone without the smarts.
Right, some things need to be resolved with violence though, and bullying is one of them. If you want to raise your boy to be a pussy that's certainly your prerogative and I respect that it's your choice to make, but you should do the same for other parents who disagree.
we should ban free speech so that crybabies can have a safe space. Best start with eliminating all negative stories, including this one.
yeah, and we should force "our women" to stay indoors, so "real men" don't get in trouble over rape and other trivial misdemeanors (that was sarcasm, in case anybody thought otherwise).
Society has to be based on people "getting along", one way or another. This means compromise are necessary; the need of an individual to speak their mind and go about their daily affairs, is important, but so are the rights of other individuals - and when the two come into conflict, a compromise must be found. After all, why should the rights of an immature bully count as more important than the rights of those that are less immature? It is also characteristic of people like you to talk about "Freedom of Speech" in the same breath as you're trying to deny others that freedom - basically, what you say "get the crybabies to shut up", isn't it? The value to society of a bully is a whole lot less than the value of those who take part constructively in the debate.
No physical power?
Words are how we physically transport ideas and concepts from one mind to another.
"we are all atheists about most of the gods that societies have ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further."
For the record: I don't like violence any more than any other rational adult person does. But I do recognize that sometimes you can't avoid it without the long-term consequences being worse; you shouldn't start fights, but you should finish them.
Now, then: I'm not saying to tell your kid 'tough luck, deal with it', I'm saying tell your kid 'stand up to {whoever}, and if he insists on getting physical about it, don't back down, take him on'. You counsel your kid on how to defend himself, physically. You tell him 'don't start fights, but if someone starts one with you, you defend yourself with everything you've got'. I can't imagine anything worse for a kid than to be considered a coward by his peers; that's something that follows you around forever, and no kid needs that sort of sabotage in his young life. That's all I'm saying.
I'd like to point out something else very relevant to this discussion. Bullying of various kinds doesn't stop when your kid becomes and adult. It happens everywhere. What, theoretically, do you think is going to happen to a kid who grew up being told to run away or submit to someone bullying them, when they're an adult and a coworker or even a boss challenges them, and their ingrained response is to become submissive and passive and not rise to the challenge? They get passed over for promotions, they fail to get recognized for good work they do, they get paid less money, they fail to become leaders, and they fail to gain the respect of others. That's no way to go through life, and preventing that from happening begins as a kid, at school, when some other kid bullies you and you learn to stand up to them, and defend yourself (verbally, with actions, and physically if necessary).
'Violence' isn't necessarily a physical thing, either, it can be verbal, and it can be quietly emotional, too. The same concept applies. If you're taught as a kid to give in to fear and not try to be brave then you'll get dominated just as easily in non-physical ways. This is especially important for girl children, but for boy children, too.
I guess you either live in Somalia or hangs out with perpetual man-babys. Most of the civilized world condemns violence and very few people get away with bullying adults, mainly because at some point they start throwing lawyers at you. You can try taking away those lawyers, but then they'll just switch over to bullets.
Some bullies can be dealt with without violence.
"When you have eliminated the unacceptable, whatever is left, however improbable, must be the truthiness" - Holmes
Suppose you have a problem, and use violent regular expressions....
"When you have eliminated the unacceptable, whatever is left, however improbable, must be the truthiness" - Holmes
When you tell your 5 year old not to swear, are you not banning their free speech? My point is there's a movable line and you can't always make clear calls.
"So what? First rule: We don't tolerate physical violence. Period. So no matter what someone says, it won't go further than words"
We don't tolerate physical violence already but that doesn't stop it from happening repeatedly, and emotions are so pervasive and integral to human biology way would you think we can 'turn them off'.
"Life itself has physical consequences. I was bullied, with no help from parents or school. Some times you are just in a situation whether you want to be or not."
Glad to hear it wasn't as bad for you as it can sometimes get for others
"we seem to be inculcating them with the idea that there should be no negativity in their life."
Seem?
What Anonymous said, and sometimes bullies will react by increasing the harassment, by punch back or worse.
Not every bully operates in the same fashion, some will simply escalate the violence, you can never tell how much they have invested in hurting others.
Glad to hear what you saw wasn't as bad as it can sometimes gets for others.
And I think the problem today is as it's always been, role models like parents and others in authority who use various degrees of bullying themselves.
"Words have absolutely no power of their own."
Neuro biology says otherwise, we might have latitude in how we respond but that doesn't mean words have no power.
"The reaction is strictly personal, an internal affair, a conditioned reflex. The pain is self inflicted."
Again only partly, and in varying degrees depending on genetics. If we weren't a biologically social organisms with brains built in consequence I might agree with you more.