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Windows 10's Next Update Will Be Called 'Spring Creators Update' (theverge.com)

The Verge reports: Microsoft is planning to reuse its "Creators Update" naming for a third Windows 10 update. The software giant has strangely not yet officially named its next Windows 10 update, due next month, but it has been testing a future update that appears to reveal the spring update name. "Windows 10 Spring Creators Update" has been spotted in the latest test builds of the Redstone 5 update expected to be released later this fall. Microsoft first launched Windows 10 Creators Update last spring, followed by the Windows 10 Fall Creators Update in the fall. The new Windows 10 Spring Creators Update naming was originally spotted in Microsoft blog posts last year, but this is the first time it has appeared in the operating system itself.

92 comments

  1. I am not a Creator by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    And, living in the southern hemisphere, it is hardly spring. I guess this update is not for me.

    1. Re:I am not a Creator by arth1 · · Score: 4, Funny

      I thought the update was meant for spring creators. If you have metal wire and a pair of pliers, you should be all set.

    2. Re:I am not a Creator by jellomizer · · Score: 1

      Being that the landmass in the Southern Hemisphere is 32% and assuming that you are not in Antarctica (An other 9%). Making 23% of the available land area... Also being that most of the Southern landmass is north of the Tropic of Capricorn. Chances are while you are in late summer, now going to fall. Temperature wise, there isn't that big of a difference. Compared to use in the North Hemisphere where Northern US, Canada, Europe, Northern China, which are away from the Tropics, means we are getting a larger verity thus definable seasons. Vs Hot and Less Hot weather.

      --
      If something is so important that you feel the need to post it on the internet... It probably isn't that important.
    3. Re:I am not a Creator by Anonymous+Brave+Guy · · Score: 1

      Maybe it's a hint about what you're supposed to do with PCs once the update has been installed -- push them down a flight of stairs and watch the results for entertainment?

      --
      If you disagree, post your argument. (-1, Overrated) isn't your personal censorship tool for views you don't like.
    4. Re:I am not a Creator by arth1 · · Score: 1

      Maybe it's a hint about what you're supposed to do with PCs once the update has been installed -- push them down a flight of stairs and watch the results for entertainment?

      That would be the Fall Creators release.

    5. Re:I am not a Creator by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Kid, you may ask your teacher. For some supplementary exercise about where periods happen in a sentence.

    6. Re:I am not a Creator by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I tried, but the drivers (nvidia & nouveau) could not handle my dual gpus.

  2. What about consumers and business peeps by Bite+The+Pillow · · Score: 4, Interesting

    I'm a consumer. I also work on a desktop. I'm not a creator. Is there an update for me? Because I'm starting to think Microsoft isn't serious about capturing non creator market share.

    1. Re: What about consumers and business peeps by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      You are a creator of shareholder value

    2. Re:What about consumers and business peeps by bobdehnhardt · · Score: 1

      Yeah, Microsoft definitely needs to be concerned about losing market share with end users. Why, if this trend continues, they may fall below 80% of all desktops worldwide!

      But in all seriousness, this is taking niche marketing to a new level. I mean, "Spring Creators Update"? What about people who create other things, like shock absorbers or U-joints? What's so special about folks who create springs, for crying out loud?

    3. Re:What about consumers and business peeps by Junta · · Score: 1

      It's a marketing move to suck up to their users and make them feel like they are innovators who move things forward, and in support of that self-image, they need a platform suited for content creation, which phones are not.

      In other words 'if you matter, then you need a computer, please put down that phone that we have zero market share in'.

      --
      XML is like violence. If it doesn't solve the problem, use more.
    4. Re: What about consumers and business peeps by Bite+The+Pillow · · Score: 2

      That's the nicest thing any anonymous coward has said about me. Thank you.

    5. Re:What about consumers and business peeps by Ranbot · · Score: 3, Interesting

      Also a consumer and use my home PC mainly for games. I tried not to install the last "Fall" update, but after avoiding it for about a month Windows dropped the illusion of choice and forced the install on me. The update destroyed my video frame rates. I waited for a follow-up Windows or Nvidia update, and I tried to troubleshoot the issue with everything I could find online about it (I wasn't the only one), but my patience ran out after about a week. I rolled back the update and everything was fine again.

      So, yeah, this non-creator doesn't care what's in the update other than it better not fuck up what's already working. I will continue to ignore the suggested apps and Windows-sponsored social experiences. I will continue not using Edge. And Microsoft, yes, I play games; and I know you gather information from me to know that too. But, no, I do not want you to reinstall the Xbox app for the third time, and if you do I will uninstall/disable it again.

    6. Re:What about consumers and business peeps by thegarbz · · Score: 1

      Is there an update for me?

      Yes there is, it's called Windows 10 version 1803. It has another colloquial name but people complain about it.

      As a matter of interest just what "non creator" market share is Microsoft supposed to capture? I personally am happy that Microsoft is focusing it's efforts on dicking around with toy features and apps rather than messing with the core OS, because we all know about the quality of their coding right now.

      Or maybe you're just hung up on some name and don't bother actually reading release notes. Or do you think Windows Subsystem for Linux, Windows Exploit Guard, and better battery management was all about capturing people who do nothing but doodle pictures on their Windows machines. (In case you missed the reference these were features of the Fall Creator's Update, which had nothing to do with creating anything).

    7. Re: What about consumers and business peeps by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Ok, but windows is only good for games. And by âoegoodâ I mean the one vendors support, but not particilarly well.

    8. Re:What about consumers and business peeps by sheramil · · Score: 1

      I'm a consumer. I also work on a desktop. I'm not a creator.

      You're not? Then where did your message come from?

  3. Feature Suggestion by jetkust · · Score: 2

    Does this update feature the ability to wake a laptop from sleep?

    1. Re:Feature Suggestion by thegreatbob · · Score: 1

      Modern windows seems to already possess this capability (it can be done via scheduled tasks, and seems to be employed on our Lenovo laptops where I work, but not others) - obnoxious to have your laptop randomly turn on in a bag and run its battery down, or cook itself to death... but I blame the hardware manufacturers for not including the ability to turn this nuisance off completely.

      --
      There is no XUL, only WebExtensions...
    2. Re:Feature Suggestion by thegreatbob · · Score: 1

      Also, don't take this comment as a suggestion that the feature is useless... it is very handy, when employed correctly...

      --
      There is no XUL, only WebExtensions...
    3. Re:Feature Suggestion by Junta · · Score: 2

      To be honest' modern windows never actually goes to sleep anymore, it does 'S0ix' and to the chagrin of linux users particularly, is causing vendors to stop supporting S3.

      The plus side: applications can now run even when ostensibly off.

      The downside (even for windows): Your laptop can no longer sleep for a week and still have battery to resume. You *will* be resuming from hibernation after a weekend.

      This is to compete with phones, which also don't have a real 'sleep' and are always alive and don't have as high standby time as they used to, despite gigantic batteries.

      --
      XML is like violence. If it doesn't solve the problem, use more.
    4. Re:Feature Suggestion by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      That sounds more like an issue with the type of memory than with Windows. I know our Dell laptops with low-power memory which is limited to 16 GB will sleep for almost a week. The 64GB ones that use normal memory barely make it through the night. It's the same reason Apple hasn't increased the memory in their laptops in six years. They're still unfortunately limited to 16 GB so we've had to move from nice and reliable MacBook Pros to Dell garbage since we have to run three Windows vms for development.

    5. Re:Feature Suggestion by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      The plus side: applications can now run even when ostensibly off.

      The down side: applications are now running even when ostensibly off.

  4. What the hell is "Creators" update? by mysidia · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Is this because Microsoft created Windows, and this is the update they released?
    Because the name is redundant.

    I'm kind of getting sick of this bullshit name "Creator's Update" that doesn't even provide any information on what they'll actually be putting in the update

    1. Re:What the hell is "Creators" update? by thegreatbob · · Score: 5, Funny

      It's an update that breaks a bunch of stuff, and resets a huge swath of your settings... at least that's been my experience to date.

      --
      There is no XUL, only WebExtensions...
    2. Re:What the hell is "Creators" update? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You mean like Skylake, Mountain Lion, or Jellybean do?

    3. Re:What the hell is "Creators" update? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      Right...Ubuntu release "Hardy Heron" certainly prepared me for the rough-and-ready bird that was delivered when I downloaded it.

    4. Re:What the hell is "Creators" update? by jetkust · · Score: 2

      I suggest they call it "Destroyers" update.

    5. Re:What the hell is "Creators" update? by ErichTheRed · · Score: 4, Interesting

      It taps into the current trend of portraying "creators" in the media. In the IT/Dev space, it's usually the stereotypical web startup hipster with the hemp satchel, ironic mustache, Moleskine notebook and MacBook Pro with Github and Slack stickers on it.

      Microsoft is trying to replace those Macbooks with Surfaces, so slapping the label "Creators' Update" on Windows is seen as one way to do it. Almost all web developers I've seen are Mac users though, so I think it's just for effect.

    6. Re:What the hell is "Creators" update? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Or just briefly: Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds, Spring Break Special, 2018!!11!! -edition

    7. Re:What the hell is "Creators" update? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I'm expecting it will break the touchpad drivers and reset all the settings on a friend's laptop for the 4th time in a row. That is totally not worth whatever new features/hell Microsoft has dreamed up this time. Sigh. I guess I better book the fixing session in early April, right in the middle of exams.

    8. Re:What the hell is "Creators" update? by AmiMoJo · · Score: 1

      Presumably it gives you creators... I mean, there is no apostrophe there, so it must update some fall creators I guess.

      --
      const int one = 65536; (Silvermoon, Texture.cs)
      SJW, n: "Someone I don't like, and by the way I'm a fuckwit" - AC
    9. Re:What the hell is "Creators" update? by DarkRookie · · Score: 1

      I'm kind of getting sick of this bullshit name "Creator's Update" that doesn't even provide any information on what they'll actually be putting in the update

      It is a bullshit name. They don't want to say this is service pack 5 (or is it 6 with this), cause, you know, it would make them seem bad if they have had to release 5 (or 6) service packs for this and still is shit.

      --
      The millennial that doesn't like most of the stuff designed for millennials.
    10. Re:What the hell is "Creators" update? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      Most likely scenario: they've identified a mass of technical problems with windows update, and the solution will be marketing.

    11. Re:What the hell is "Creators" update? by tlhIngan · · Score: 1

      It taps into the current trend of portraying "creators" in the media. In the IT/Dev space, it's usually the stereotypical web startup hipster with the hemp satchel, ironic mustache, Moleskine notebook and MacBook Pro with Github and Slack stickers on it.

      Microsoft is trying to replace those Macbooks with Surfaces, so slapping the label "Creators' Update" on Windows is seen as one way to do it. Almost all web developers I've seen are Mac users though, so I think it's just for effect.

      Or more correctly, it helps differentiate a PC from a tablet and phone.

      After all, tablets and phones are "consumer" devices - you use them to consume content. And as much as Apple tries to say otherwise, that is true - it's hard to "create" using a tablet or phone.

      So Microsoft is calling Windows 10 an OS for "creators". It's a marketing attempt to differentiate people from the masses who blindly "consume" and help promote Microsoft and PCs which are for "creators" and not just "consumers".

      All the complaints people make about tablets being "consume" devices was heard by Microsoft's marketing, and they believe they can concentrate on the "create" aspect that tablets and phones are poor at.

      Just talk about how you hate tablets because you can't "create" and Microsoft will happily sell you Windows 10 to create.

    12. Re:What the hell is "Creators" update? by thegarbz · · Score: 1

      If you want a more descriptive update then just call it what it is, Windows 10 (1803). Or would you prefer the version number also contain the changelog?

    13. Re:What the hell is "Creators" update? by swb · · Score: 1

      I wouldn't be at all surprised if this was a major motivator. Within a few months of a major update, everybody has done whatever they can to ignore, disable or get their unwanted new products out of their daily sight on their computer.

      It wouldn't surprise me at all if the releases weren't timed to provide big boosts in Cortana "adoption" numbers that Microsoft can push in the media to create the illusion they're a player people care about in the intelligent assistant space, along with whatever new me-too feature they're shilling this week.

    14. Re:What the hell is "Creators" update? by mysidia · · Score: 2

      Yes.... Windows 10 (1803) would at least provide some unique context to "Which" update you're talking about, and I could hopefully Google search that and find a changelog for "1803" ?.

    15. Re:What the hell is "Creators" update? by mikael · · Score: 1

      That's what it does to my VM's as well. Performs an auto-update, uninstalls all the other browsers (Chrome, Firefox, Opera) and all other applications. I've probably spent hours getting them all installed plus updates, and in complete Microsoft arrogance, just uninstalls them and shoves them in a folder, as well as reinstalling Cortana, reformatting the main menu back to default, and locking up the VM. In a final act it leaves the VM in the blue window of death. Not even the spinning wheel of fate is visible.

      --
      Vintage computer adverts: http://www.vintageadbrowser.com/computers-and-software-ads
    16. Re:What the hell is "Creators" update? by sheramil · · Score: 1

      (Nathan Explosion voice) That's pretty brutal.

    17. Re:What the hell is "Creators" update? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      It's simply tying in with the Minecraft themes. Remember the redstone update? And you're a creator in Minecraft? Yeah.
      That and some vague allusion to 3d stuff, and there you go.

      Just annoying marketing.)

  5. Interesting new world of marketing by ErichTheRed · · Score: 2

    The interesting thing about Windows is that they used to have to convince people to buy the new versions every few years. Now that it's a "service" that you just buy once with a computer (Home and Pro) or pay monthly for the rest of your life (Enterprise/Education), there's less marketing magic around new releases. No more people lining up at computer stores at midnight, flashy launch parties, etc.

    In an environment like that, there's no reason to promote a new version, so why spend money on a marketing campaign? Just reuse the one from last year. It would be great if they plowed the money they saved by firing the marketing team into product engineering, but that just doesn't happen anywhere.

    1. Re:Interesting new world of marketing by Junta · · Score: 2

      Because users are getting buzz about the new IiOS, the new android version, Windows has to have it too. Except MS is lacking in imagination and just calls everything 'Windows 10' and 'Creators Update', so they have no distinguishing branding to go with the hype they try to generate.

      --
      XML is like violence. If it doesn't solve the problem, use more.
    2. Re:Interesting new world of marketing by Waccoon · · Score: 1

      In an environment like that, there's no reason to promote a new version, so why spend money on a marketing campaign?

      Likely the same reason Coca Cola does. Advertising products that don't need to be advertised may be a war of diminishing returns, but every last bit still counts.

  6. More like Patsy's Update. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Unless this update brings along the ability to disable all spyware, disable all advertising and control updates manually, I still won't give a shit about Windows 10.

  7. I really don't care about the name... by QuietLagoon · · Score: 4, Insightful

    ... I am more concerned whether or not it will work? Howls of pain from Win10 1607 and 1703 users who were forced to upgrade to Windows 10 Fall Creators Update today.. Microsoft has to stop using residential customers as their alpha-testers.

    1. Re:I really don't care about the name... by HalAtWork · · Score: 1

      I thought "Insiders" were supposed to be the testers?

    2. Re:I really don't care about the name... by Solandri · · Score: 1

      The Fall Creators Update broke my icons. About a third of my installed programs and file association icons defaulted to a generic blank page or blank program after the update. I tried a bunch of different things to try to fix it, but the only solution I could find was to reinstall the program. I didn't have time to reinstall the about two dozen programs affected, so reverted to the previous version in hopes Microsoft would fix the problem (yes I submitted a bug report). The icons came back after reverting, indicating the problem was with the update or the update process.

      Microsoft never fixed it. And a few weeks ago I got a popup message saying they were ending security updates for the version of Windows I was on, and was forcibly updated to the Fall Creators Update. The icons were still broken, so I reverted to the previous version again. Then began a week and half of update hell. Somehow, Microsoft was bypassing my usual tricks for stopping updates (disable Windows Update service, set connection as metered). The damn thing kept downloading and installing itself any time I left the computer for a couple hours. It ate up most of my remaining bandwidth quota (5GB per update), and I was forced to switch to using my phone for Internet service for a week to avoid exceeding my quota.

      Until this incident, I didn't really mind the forced updates for the most part. I understand the need to keep the software at the current release level for security reasons. My only issue had been Win10's insistence on installing driver updates which didn't work over drivers which used to work fine (violating the "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" rule). Win10 initially had a setting which let you prevent it from updating drivers, which they removed in the Oct 2016 update. I complained about that, but about a half year later it came back in a different form, allowing you to opt not to update specific drivers. So I'd been mostly content, believing that on the balance the good (preventing ignorant users from not updating) outweighed the bad. But this experience completely changed my tune. The end user must have final say over what happens to their computer , not the software company or manufacturer. You can make the default behavior to allow for automatic updates or what not. But unless you're first going to fix every problem every user has with an update before you release it, the end user has to have the option to opt out of these things.

    3. Re:I really don't care about the name... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      "Insiders" are the reason that Microsoft fired all of their QA and Windows 10 was released in a perpetual beta state. So many idiots with nothing important on their computers to lose signed up for the insider program just so they could get Windows 10 for free. Microsoft noticed this and said "Why don't we just have all users be unpaid QA testers with the side benefit of having an endless source of data harvesting and eyes to see advertising?"

      It's the shortsighted cheapskate idiots who are OK with spyware, ads and microtransactions that have made the world of technology the shithole that it currently is.

  8. Fuck you Microsoft. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

    I'm a creator.

    I depend on my machines to make money every single day. If they don't work, I can't put food on my table. It really is that simple.

    Your fall creators update effectively destroyed my W10 installation and cost me 3 days of productivity to get it back online. You later forced a driver update on the machine that took out my graphics tablet. And then less than a month later, I left the keyboard for two hours and you decided to not only reboot my machine (which would have lost my state had I not saved it before I left), but install several updates that broke two of my primary 3D packages.

    I got so sick and tired of your fucking bullshit, I built myself a machine out of last generation parts (which weren't even any slower than what I had), and threw Windows 7 on it instead. Why? Because it fucking works, that's why. The updates don't overhaul my entire OS. It doesn't force driver updates on me. I don't have to worry about it committing suicide when I walk away to grab a sandwich, because I can outright disable WU and it respects my decision.

    So fuck you Microsoft. Your "creators" bullshit is just that, bullshit. You don't give a shit about reliability or stability so long as your telemetry is flowing. Fuck your company, and your OS. When I can no longer run Windows 7 on the bare metal, I'll run it in a VM under Linux and run whatever else I can natively instead.

    Yours truly,
    A pissed off "creator" who couldn't even use W10 to reliably create things.

    1. Re: Fuck you Microsoft. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      This is why I switched to Apple. Fuck suicidal updates

    2. Re: Fuck you Microsoft. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      This. I look forward to the next batch of tickets that our support technicians can't resolve. My Systems Engineers have nothing better to do than discover all the new 'features' that come with Destroyers Update.

  9. Microsoft thinks majority of people want S mode. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Which won’t run Steam or Chrome, which means a Netscape style killing of their market share. Join the resistance and “F” “S”.

  10. What it should be called... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Windows 10's Next Update Will Be Called 'F U Little People'

  11. Spring creators rejoice by iTrawl · · Score: 4, Funny

    Spring creators around the world say "it's about fucking time somebody did something for us". Now they can make springs large and small with the ease of technology, and step out of the stone age.

    --
    "Everybody's naked underneath" -- The Doctor
  12. Spring Creators Edition... by HotNeedleOfInquiry · · Score: 1

    How fucking festive is that?

    --
    "Eve of Destruction", it's not just for old hippies anymore...
  13. Of course... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    ... Because why have something unique enough that people can refer to it easily as a unique item. That only causes problems for Microsoft. Nobody is going to say, "Hey, that Spring Creator's Update was sure wunnerful, wuddunit?" They don't want people thinking about updates, and for those of us whose job it is to relate to that level.... well, we don't count.

    Either that, or they just didn't think about it. Which means we don't count. Their progression along the Apple path continues.

  14. Microsoft gets away with new versions very 6 mos. by theendlessnow · · Score: 1

    Remember how we all go excited when Microsoft said 10 would be an OS that got updates forever? Well, each of these "Creators Updates" are actually like full version of the OS than an "update". Basically, Microsoft is using almost the same process as when they made a major release (like moving from Windows 7 to 8 to 10). Just ask any Sys Admin.

  15. Re:Microsoft gets away with new versions very 6 mo by DarkRookie · · Score: 1

    Aren't they more akin to a service pack than a whole new OS install
    Or at least that is the impression I have.

    --
    The millennial that doesn't like most of the stuff designed for millennials.
  16. You Create, YouTube Censors by sycodon · · Score: 1

    So the ultimate outcome will be exceptionally high quality Cat Videos

    --
    When Fascism comes to America, it will call itself Anti-Fascism, and tell you to give up your guns.
  17. Feature request by ilsaloving · · Score: 1

    I have an idea...

    Instead of all this idiotic updates, how about returning to the original release cycle?

    It's bad enough that Microsoft foists updates on us uncategorically, but then they also use these updates as a way of moving the support goalposts, so a computer that worked fine before is suddenly "no longer supported".

    Windows 10 may be technologically great, but Microsoft gross mismanagement of it has turned it into the single worst version of Windows in Microsoft history, easily trumping even Windows ME.

    1. Re:Feature request by thegarbz · · Score: 1

      Instead of all this idiotic updates, how about returning to the original release cycle?

      No thanks. I don't want to live with this version of Windows for the next 8 years.

  18. Spring forward by jfdavis668 · · Score: 1

    It should be called Spring Forward. The next one can be Fall Back.

    1. Re:Spring forward by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      First they release the Rollout edition (with Ludacris branding, obviously), then the next one can be Rollback.

  19. Registry change to turn updates into a choice by clawsoon · · Score: 1

    If you want a choice about whether to upgrade, the easiest fix it to open up your registry editor and set all of your network connections (including wired connection) as metered connections.

    For a few months now, Windows 10 has been popping up its message asking me if it can please download a 5GB update, pleeeease, but letting me know that internet usage fees may apply. It's still sitting nicely at 0% downloaded.

    1. Re:Registry change to turn updates into a choice by sexconker · · Score: 1

      That will only delay it. After a certain amount of time, it will ignore your wishes and download anyway.

    2. Re:Registry change to turn updates into a choice by clawsoon · · Score: 1

      That was the case with earlier hacks. So far, this one has been holding firm since late 2016 or thereabouts. I guess we'll see if it keeps holding. Knowing Microsoft, there's a strong possibility that you're right, though.

  20. Don't Uninstall Me Bro by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    Is it going to uninstall half my programs (sorry, "Apps") like the Fall Creators' Update did?

    That even got my (legitimate) Office 2010 install.

    Captcha: Unworthy

  21. They should do like Android... by Bearhouse · · Score: 3, Funny

    Use words borrowed from edible things...y'a know, like Turkey, Lemon...

    1. Re:They should do like Android... by khandom08 · · Score: 2

      ....shit sandwich...

    2. Re:They should do like Android... by ausekilis · · Score: 2

      Or borrow from Canonical with the "adjective-noun" alphabet format. They've got a few in the bag:

      Absolute-asshat

      Baffling-bullshit

      Condescending... you get the idea.

  22. I'm still waiting.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    .. for the update that gives me a normal start menu without a defunct 3rd party add on.

  23. Oh yah! thats all well and good... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Oh yah! thats all well and good for the spring creators, But what are the gear creators and screw creators supposed to do ?

  24. Applause by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Spying Creators Update

  25. Re:Microsoft gets away with new versions very 6 mo by sexconker · · Score: 1

    No. Every major update does three things:

    1: Installs as if you're doing a dirty reinstallation of the OS, leaving you a "Windows.old" directory to revert to (if you're lucky it'll actually work).
    2: Completely changes a bunch of Group Policy settings and Registry keys for things system admins need to control, like the various spying "features", the ads in the start menu and notification pane, the automatically deployed applications from the Store, etc.
    3: Fucks your drivers, because fuck you.

    In terms of actual features for users? Nothing anyone cares about. The "big thing" now is the SUPER ULTRA ULTIMATE PERFORMANCE mode. Which just means it disables relevant power plan shit so your CPU never clocks down because of Windows. (The hardware itself will still be able to control its own clocks, of course.) I have no idea why anyone would want this. It would be a placebo. The CPU ramps up when under load faster than anyone would ever notice.

  26. "Creator" is the new "Information Worker" by CRB9000 · · Score: 1

    Remember, when a few years ago, we were all "information workers". We were either creating, modifying, or consuming information. Now, we are all "creators". If you post anything, if you type anything, if you draw anything, you are a creator. You haven't changed one iota, but your label changed and someone genius in marketing just justified his or her Masters by putting a new ribbon on the barrel of shit.

  27. Upgrade or downgrade? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Other then Windows 10 being annoyingly persistent in frequent upgrades, sketchy updates that many times require more updates to fix. Besides the crappy apps I get every time a upgrade comes out of which I never will use and don't want. Well at least I have switched 80% of my PC's to something other then Windows. I thought I had endured the worst of Windows such as Me, Vista, Win 8. But obviously Microsoft has a learning disability about its past and not repeating mistakes over and over.

  28. Tricks to stop this by dwywit · · Score: 1

    I've got a bunch of W10 home laptops to look after. Before anyone tells me to get "Pro", it's an inherited problem and there's no budget to upgrade. These are your entry level lenovo "back-to-school" budget models with adequate memory and HDD, but Celeron processors.

    I'm playing a never-ending round of trying to get all these machines to the same OS/patch level before I can block windows update servers at the router firewall. 1709 was a 5GB update over domestic ADSL (~13MBits down), so I tried letting the first one update, then switch on the Delivery Optimisation so that the next laptop I turned on would be able to get the updates locally. I wasn't able to confirm it, but *perhaps* it happened a little faster. It took a week to get them all done.

    While that was happening I set about finding and adapting powershell scripts to remove the games and disable cortana, turn off the telemetry, and disable Windows Update. i just needed to get them all to the same level before I activate a ruleset at the router. The script was successful (and fast), so I'll put it into the Task Scheduler to run every logon. When i get the time, I'll investigate disabling the Windows Upgrade Assistant, which appears to not need or use the Windows Update service (or BITS).

    It's frustrating, because i shouldn't have to play whack-a-mole with Microsoft.

    --
    They sentenced me to twenty years of boredom
  29. boo by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Darn, I was hoping for spring break update

  30. Re:Can't install update without a clean re-install by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Also, I still use my iPhone 6S and I save 65$ a month by keeping using it. As a very special customer, I can get a new free phone from Sprint whenever I want!
    --
    Dyson Cyclone V10 Absolute $700 Vacuum Cleaner Reaction Video

  31. Re:Can't install update without a clean re-install by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Also, I have updated my sig yet one more time! I am now selling vacuum cleaners, going door to door while picking up second-hand lottery tickets at the same time!

    Now, talk about efficiency! We will see who gets the last laugh when I collect all those royalties.
    --
    Dyson Cyclone V10 Absolute $700 Vacuum Cleaner Reaction Video

  32. Re:Can't install update without a clean re-install by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    MOD THIS MEANINGLESS KARMA WHORING COMMENT DOWN!!!

    Christopher Dale Reimer, aka cdreimer, aka creimer, aka cashews, is a well-known toxic bachelor and serial digital pest!

    Do not allow this tiresome dullard to copy and paste his own Cryptofeces Reimerium back on here to collect karma points!

    We just went through the whole process of getting him contained at -1 like medical waste in a BFI container.

  33. Re:Can't install update without a clean re-install by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    If you are not happy about it, complain to management by clicking on "Flag as inappropriate". There is no point in bitching in the comments.

    Yesterday, I got a comment about "making fascism great a..." removed from the main thread so there you go!
    --
    Dyson Cyclone V10 Absolute $700 Vacuum Cleaner Reaction Video

  34. Typo by bankman · · Score: 1

    It's a typo and should read "Creationist Update".

    --
    I feel so sig.
  35. Re:Microsoft gets away with new versions very 6 mo by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Remember how we all go excited when Microsoft said 10 would be an OS that got updates forever?

    Actually, no, I don't remember that. I remember thinking that Microsoft was going to use this as a means to collect data and push ads or subscriptions on to everyone. You'd have to be stupid if you were happy when they announced Windows 10 as a "service".

  36. Re:Can't install update without a clean re-install by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    There is no point in bitching in the comments.

    That's not true at all.
    Bitching about it in comments is the third component of what we in the information security world refer to as C2^3

    C2^3: The Creimer Containment Triad (MISsion):
    Mod down comments, story submissions, metamod. --This is self explanatory
    Identify Sockpuppets -- Sockpuppets are attempts to create new accounts that may one day have mod points to undermine Moderation
    Shitpost on shitposts -- Slashdot is a pretty group of folks but our opinions are easy to predict, Creimer loved to karma whore fresh threads with the right opinions. Shitposting ensures he doesn't violate containment by being the first person to post "Ajit Pai is a douchebag" in a net neutrality thread.

    Remember your MISsion is keeping Slashdot safe. When he's contained it seems hard to imagine how bad it would be with him making thousands of karma whoring shitposts and advertisements with an army of sockpuppet moderation to defend his karma.

  37. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 0

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  38. Re:Can't install update without a clean re-install by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    "Are you're trying to insult"

    And I are know that I are am winning because your old crammar gives you away, again!

    SUPREME ALERT SUPREME ALERT SUPREME ALERT SUPREME ALERT SUPREME ALERT

    The fat nuisance known as cdreimer has somehow clawed his way out of -1 terrible! PLEASE MOD DOWN !!!!!

  39. Re:Can't install update without a clean re-install by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Oh my. What happened to "one and only one troll", jiggle nuts?

    "it would explain why you're still commenting on an old thread."

    And what explains your checking on old replies? Narcissism? Why else would you think you can "save slashdot"? No one really cares about you and your stupid videos. We do like throwing meat at the chained yard dog however.

    Woof woof, dummy!