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Saudi Arabia Invests $1 Billion In Potential Tesla Rival (cnn.com)
Saudi Arabia is investing more than $1 billion in Lucid Motors, an electric car startup that may give Tesla a run for their money. CNN reports: Lucid is planning a new high-performance electric car. It said the investment from Saudi Arabia's sovereign wealth fund announced Monday will allow it to finish engineering on its first car, the Lucid Air, as well as build a factory in Casa Grande, Arizona, and begin to sell the car by 2020. Saudi Arabia is already a big investor in Tesla. Last month Tesla CEO Elon Musk disclosed that the Saudis had taken nearly a 5% stake in his electric car company.
Musk said that the Saudis had been urging him for almost two years to take Tesla private, offering to provide funds necessary to do so. (Musk announced the plan to go private in August but quickly dropped the idea.) Saudi Arabia is investing in electric vehicles to diversify away from its dependence on oil. Lucid's Chief Technology Officer, Peter Rawlinson, was formerly a vice president and chief vehicle engineer at Tesla. He helped design the Model S, the company's breakthrough car. He left Tesla in 2012, shortly after the Model S went into production.
Musk said that the Saudis had been urging him for almost two years to take Tesla private, offering to provide funds necessary to do so. (Musk announced the plan to go private in August but quickly dropped the idea.) Saudi Arabia is investing in electric vehicles to diversify away from its dependence on oil. Lucid's Chief Technology Officer, Peter Rawlinson, was formerly a vice president and chief vehicle engineer at Tesla. He helped design the Model S, the company's breakthrough car. He left Tesla in 2012, shortly after the Model S went into production.
Isn't every car manufacturer, and every would be "entrepreneur" out there building their own electric car?
Yes. Jaguar and Mercedes are both bringing out electric cars, for instance. The Jaguar I-PACE looks to be a better car than the equivalent Tesla.
I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that.
They are all way too expensive. Anyone can build a really expensive EV, those aren't very interesting.
It's the affordable end of the market that is exciting. Kia and Hyundai both have really strong offerings (Niro and Kona) with 250-300 mile range and a lot of value for money. Nissan may have a decent Leaf out this year, Tesla may one day get to $35k but that's looking expensive for a very basic, stripped down car now...
Kona/Niro are both really impressive. Range, tech (including auto-steering), quality and performance are all there.
const int one = 65536; (Silvermoon, Texture.cs)
SJW, n: "Someone I don't like, and by the way I'm a fuckwit" - AC
The overwhelmingly most important source of income of Saudi Arabia, by a ridiculously huge margin, is crude oil exports. And the overwhelming majority of crude oil is used for gasoline production.
Let us be realistic for a moment: oil production is the #1 strategic concern of Saudi Arabia, and electric cars are their anathema.
"The agriculture ministry is not in charge of Gundam" - Japanese ministry official.
Emphasis mine
C. Sagan : A demon haunted world:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0345409469/
visit randi.org
probably it'll make the people who continually without justification knock Tesla sit up and realise that EVs are the future and stop their childish snipping from the sidelines because they shorted Tesla
"The hands that help are better far than lips that pray." - Robert Ingersoll (1833-1899)
Unlike the early days of cars there are many established car companies in the game. It takes a lot of expertise and supply chain management to build a car. You need to know a lot about robots, labour, etc.
Ossified management has allowed startups to dominate when technology changes if the barrier is not too high. So all the newspapers ceded their classified adds to ebay et. al. Nokia to Apple. Big retailers to Amazon. TV networks to Netflix. None of those things should have happened, the established players should have dominated, but did not.
On the other hand, Webvan died for delivering groceries ordered on line, here in Oz they are delivered by the big supermarket chains, Coles and Woolworths. It was easier to add a web site to a supermarket than to add a supermarket to a web site.
I'd bet pennies to pounds that electric cars will be like supermarkets. The established players will dominate. It is an incremental improvement for them. And many are already there, e.g. the Leaf, Prius.
Telsa is toast.
OTOH self driving car AI is likely to come from someone other than the big car manufacturers. But they will buy it from the third party. Might be Google. If Apple try to build the cars rather than just the software, they will become irrelevant.
I guess it's "Funding Secured" for real this time. Only it's not for Tesla, but it's "only" 1 Billion.
"electric car" is NOT synonymous with "self-driving car". Yes, you can have a self-driving gasoline-engine car. Yes, the jihadis could use one of those, too....
"I do not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it"
What's electric cars being the future has to do with TSLA's viability as a company? VAG, BMW, etc have literally tens of billions of money sitting waiting to convert their shit over if it becomes financially a good proposition to do it - they have tens of gigafactories - their ENTIRE EXPERTISE that has enabled them to remain viable car companies is based around production and logistics around it - the Tesla gigafactory seems puny in comparison and indeed it is, it's just called giga for marketing reasons - vag doesn't need to "market" it's factories, so they don't, but there's a reason why they're still alive and not bailed out for the tenth time.
The thing with Tesla is that.. they don't really have any special technology. They just sold it at a price that didn't make any fucking sense for them to be doing, since they were selling all production(supposedly) and still losing money(even after one time book shenigans). The reason Musk is under enermous pressure is that now is the time the company has to start making profit, not another 10 years into the future because electric cars are the future. Basically his promises that his supermodernhyper Gigafactory can churn out production cheaper than VAG etc's factories can need to be kept right now.
Lucid motors also however, a shit grade investment. Their car? a fucking 1000hp sedan. good luck selling that 20 000 - 130 000 units in a year. They're not sitting on any technology unique to them and they don't have decades of expertise in manufacturing.
So yeah, Saudis putting money into it - whatever. Call the market up when they have some special sauce to make 20 000 dollar cars people want to buy.
And of course teslas are nice cars, they cost an arm and a leg and still are sold for too cheap so they better well should be, but the technology really isn't all that special, whats special is putting them into a product and selling it at the price.
Why do american car companies insist on building stuff people can't afford anyways en masse? don't they realize that 80 000 dollar + cars are an extreme luxury, just because they live rich themselves? is it because they can't optimize their production for worth shit? because Musk sure as fuck sold the cheapo model of the 3 but can't deliver.
world was created 5 seconds before this post as it is.
Nope.
Tesla are making about 30% on their cars: https://electrek.co/2018/07/16...
That's a much higher margin than gasoline car makers are getting and shows that Tesla has a huge start on everybody, "special technology" or not.
Why do american car companies insist on building stuff people can't afford anyways en masse? don't they realize that 80 000 dollar + cars are an extreme luxury, just because they live rich themselves? is it because they can't optimize their production for worth shit?
They have years of back-orders right now, why would they sell for less?
(and they aren't even taking orders in all countries yet!)
because Musk sure as fuck sold the cheapo model of the 3 but can't deliver.
Targets are being met, production is on schedule.
No sig today...
Tesla are making about 30% on their cars: https://electrek.co/2018/07/16..
Only if you don't count the Model 3. Tesla's own numbers tells a different story:
Gross margin for total automotive decreased from 28% to 21% in the three months ended June 30, 2018 as compared to the three months ended June 30, 2017.
Finishing engineering, building a factory, and bringing a car to market in only 2 years seems overly optimistic, as well. By then the Tesla Roadster 2020 will be out.
Corruption is convincing someone that the selfless ideal is the same as their selfish ideal.
The Jaguar I-PACE looks to be a better car than the equivalent Tesla.
Looks ugly as fuck! It might be a better car, I wouldn't know but can you imagine sitting in that thing thinking you're all smug with out realising what a massive twat you look?! Not that teslas are much different mind.
Wanna buy a shirt?
https://www.redbubble.com/people/stealthfinger/shop?asc=u
I think that most of us bash Tesla's abuse of power and privacy, not the fact that they make electric vehicles.
Nae king! Nae laird! Nae yurrupiean pressedent! We willna be fooled again!
I was mostly wondering why it even bothered with the "To give Tesla a run for it's money" line. It's like someone just needed to have the article related to Tesla somehow.
I mean I guess they are the electric car only company, but still seems a bit silly to go ahead and say that.
This company has only slighty better chances at being Tesla's rival as I.
Man, I hate the news these days...
we don't need another supercar, we need electric cars for normal people.
they should be cheap to produce right? we don't need sub 2 seconds acceleration, or +300km/h top speed.
just make it good enough to replace your regular current petrol car, i'm even willing to cut off some 100km of range, but;
- it needs to be afforable
- be practical (no silly sci-fi looking impractical car)
The Nissan Leaf or Hyundai Ioniq almost have me sold, i just need a bigger boot (ie a station wagon, thank you!).
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
look, do not link electrek on tesla stories.
They are most definitely NOT making 30% on their cars.
not on ANY of them. even they admitted the reason they weren't selling the cheapo 3 was that they would have taken a loss on every cheapo 3 they would have sold.
Tesla would be in a really, really, really different place if they could be making 30% on production that's 100% full. they aren't at that place and if they were they would be making weekly press statements about it.
Look, I wasn't even talking about the money they sell them for. it's obviously too low and has been for years. it's a pricepoint meant to keep the order books 200% full, which frankly is stupid business. There's two reasons for why it's too low 1) their books don't show a continuous operating profit from making and selling them(other costs out of that) and b) their order books are 100% full, supposedly.
The point is, that it's not a viable long term market to go mass produce. and really man, you're exactly the kind of person who I was referring to when I said that some people think that 80k is cheap, somehow, in global scale. It really isn't. it's a luxury niche market in volume of car production.
and anyways, 4 weeks delivery is not that full. thats what their website claimed anyways. HOW THE FUCK IS THAT YEARS OF BACK ORDERS?
world was created 5 seconds before this post as it is.
they have tens of gigafactories
If you're talking about battery factories...no, they don't have them, at least not yet.
Ezekiel 23:20
Actually, I wish Lucid well. They seem to know what they're doing and have a reasonable strategy. They're way behind the curve and have a lot of slog ahead of them, but I think they could become a legitimate minor player on the high end. And that's rather high praise from me compared to my take on many EV startups.
"Who the hell is Nietzche? It's a question stupid people are asking." -- Newscaster, "Jesus Christ Supercop"
other companies have already engineered their cars, built battery plants
A list of car companies with their battery plants would be nice if you're making such claims.
Ezekiel 23:20
you know whats different between Apple and Tesla?
Apple makes cheapo products and sells them at premium price.
Tesla makes luxury products(production costswise) and sells them at upper premium price.
Again, I'm no saying that it's stupid to buy a tesla car. just that it would seem stupid, based on the numbers we have, to invest money into the company. These two are different things. If a company constantly sells out, but it's prices remain same, and they're not making steady cash(one time investments etc taken out), there's something wrong with it.
Lining up to Tesla events isn't really that different from people lining up to Ferrari events too. It doesn't tell anything about the health of the companys product.
Last time I checked the website promised 4 weeks delivery for model 3 though, couple of weeks ago. I don't know how that equates to years? or are they simply lying on their web order when they take downpayments on the cars?
Tesla is in a make or break situation right now - if they cannot get their cashflows positive investors are getting really itchy. And this is even without the looming competition, even if the competition isn't in the business of selling cars at a loss.
Teslas capital raising would be in a very different position if they could show investors that they were making 30% on every car, that number is simply bullshit - or if true,it doesn't count any other ongoing expenses of the company which would explain such a number and why their top level book guys seem to have a habit of running off.
world was created 5 seconds before this post as it is.
They do actually have a working prototype. MKBHD drove it: https://youtu.be/jbXEWi-OK4o
const int one = 65536; (Silvermoon, Texture.cs)
SJW, n: "Someone I don't like, and by the way I'm a fuckwit" - AC
Yeah but that's true of all Jaguars. It's impossible to drive one without looking like a smug git.
const int one = 65536; (Silvermoon, Texture.cs)
SJW, n: "Someone I don't like, and by the way I'm a fuckwit" - AC
A lot of investors still seem to think they can get in "early" and grab a slice of the patent pie with high end vehicles that will develop and prove the technology that will eventually end up in affordable cars.
Unfortunately for them Kia, Hyundai, Nissan/Renault and a bunch of Chinese manufacturers have already done that and are selling those affordable cars today. But I suppose this is pocket change for the Saudis so maybe they are willing to take a punt.
const int one = 65536; (Silvermoon, Texture.cs)
SJW, n: "Someone I don't like, and by the way I'm a fuckwit" - AC
Jeremy Clarkson and James May said it best. Jaguar drivers have a reputation of being cads or a bit 'caddish'. They can change the shape, marketing, pitch etc of their products but most people look at jaaaaag drivers and think, "I bet he/she is up to no good"
Just watched the Youtube video. There are definite shades of the Model S to the car and that's not a bad thing. I love the styling and the interior. The glass windshield/roof is pretty amazing
That is baloney. Electrek is a joke. They aren't making 30% margin on their cars. Why do people just regurgitate stuff they read on the Internet? Also, there are no years of back orders. You eventually run out of people who can afford a $60,000+ EV.
So basically, "look into China in the future". Well that's good for future China, I guess. Bummer, since I live in Europe.
Ezekiel 23:20
Mercedes has yet to run out of people who can afford $120,000-240,000 AMG models. The Model S is a mid-tier luxury car - plenty of volume there as luxury cars go. That's not really the point, is it?
Tesla's future is about the Model 3, not the high-end stuff. If they're making any kind of profit on them now, that's great long term, as their per-unit cost will fall over time. The question is whether they can make it through the next 6 months.
Socialism: a lie told by totalitarians and believed by fools.
I wish them success just so we can maybe have an end to the conspiracy theories about how big oil killed the electric car.
Socialism: a lie told by totalitarians and believed by fools.
Tesla cars are very nice overall and finally overcoming some production issues but it's funny to make valid critical points about the car, the company or Musk and watch all the defenders leap out of the woodwork.
...It's the affordable end of the market that is exciting.
Agree completely. I took a long drive in a Chevy Bolt earlier this summer, and fielded quite a few questions when I stopped at rest areas with fast chargers. There's a lot of curiosity about the technology out there--thanks, no doubt, to Musk and Tesla. Those manufacturers that are able to deliver a capable base model and charging solution that's accessible to the mass market will win this emerging market.
Sounds like a similar agruement from horse and buggy traders from back in the day when self propelled buggies started growning in the marketplace. News flash...new things are expensive until they get more popular. Electric cars are not an exception. Battery production has to scale up for the price to come down. So just like anything new that's just getting established in the marketplace the rich buy the product first then the masses later when the price drops.
Yes they have run out of people and that is the point: there is no volume to make money on. Have you looked at Mercedes sedan sales? They are selling thousands per quarter, which may seem like a lot to you, but it isn't. Sedan sales aren't the future. Tesla can't make any money on a $35k Model 3, which is why they don't offer one, and even if they did they aren't going to sell very many of them anyway because sedan sales are plummeting. It is amazing how out of touch people are with the market. Tesla will never offer a $35k car. They are a luxury niche car maker.
These announcements about electric car investments mean that big players are scared that Tesla might succeed in shifting the market. The shareholders want a plan. For now, these announcements are probably mostly PR. But if Tesla can hang on a few years, then even if the company dies it might spring up an entire electric car industry simply by scaring other players into investing. So ultimately the human race wins even if Tesla Motors dies.
ALTERNATE FUTURE: Tesla becomes a company that sells solar panels, builds batteries, and runs an electric car charging network. We all drive electric cars built by Toyota, Volkswagon, Ford, etc. We all win here too, and Tesla doesn't even need to make cars.
The average IQ in Saudi is 85.. They're holding onto being a semi functional (basically a non-african) country by their fingernails. They could possibly import East Asians en mass but I don't know many successful westerners that would want to live in a country where they behead people in the streets and might imprison you for flirting with a girl. Probably not a big deal though since we're talking about their investment in a western company. The work would likely occur in America and China.
VAG, BMW, etc have literally tens of billions of money sitting waiting to convert their shit over if it becomes financially a good proposition to do it - they have tens of gigafactories - their ENTIRE EXPERTISE that has enabled them to remain viable car companies is based around production and logistics around it
That all sounds good until you look at the actual attempts at doing so. Porsche has recently shown quite well how difficult it actually is to retool a production line to all electric. They're pushing shit uphill despite their expertise.
It's always easy to point to people with big factories and say "Look how awesome" But the reality is that the major car companies are putting quite the effort into electrical cars and have not all that much to show for it.
The thing with Tesla is that.. they don't really have any special technology.
Neither does Coca Cola - nothing special about carbonated sugar water - but that doesn't mean they cannot succeed. It's all about execution. And when it comes to electric vehicles to date Tesla has been out executing pretty much everyone. That's not to say they have any sort of insurmountable advantage - they don't. But the incumbent auto makers sleep on Tesla at their own peril. Tesla is vertically integrated, has a fantastically popular brand, products people are willing to wait literally years for, the best electric vehicle technology on the market, patents (even if they don't use them aggressively), and a visionary leader. Yes they still might shit the bed but I'm not about to bet against them at this point.
They just sold it at a price that didn't make any fucking sense for them to be doing, since they were selling all production(supposedly) and still losing money(even after one time book shenigans).
Yeah, yeah... People made the same short sighted argument about Amazon back in the day. While I wouldn't buy Tesla's stock at the current price and they definitely aren't on solid financial ground yet, they also have a long term strategy that if it works will pay off very handsomely. They didn't make money because they were aggressively investing in future products to grow bigger instead of remaining a boutique maker of high end cars - ala Ferrari. This was a calculated gamble by Tesla but there is a good chance it will actually work. They probably could have made money on the Model S but they had larger ambitions. Nothing wrong with that.
Why do american car companies insist on building stuff people can't afford anyways en masse? don't they realize that 80 000 dollar + cars are an extreme luxury, just because they live rich themselves?
What are you talking about? Tesla sells a tiny of the cars sold every year in the US and almost everyone who buys one can definitely afford it. They sell in numbers comparable to other luxury car maker for similar products. Tesla has less than 1.5% market share in the US.
Most people aren't going to buy electric cars until charging stations are as quick and cheap as gas or until they are much lower in price than an average ICE. I don't care if it can be charged in a garage overnight; once you go out, you're exposed to inconvenience and a time commitment to find a charging station and wait for it to charge.
Laws are rules for the court, but merely a bottom bar to hit for life. Think beyond laws in your actions always.
Tesla are making about 30% on their cars
No they are not. You referenced a cost estimate of gross margin on their cars which is a bunch of educated guesses by outside cost accountants without access to actual cost data. These sorts of reports are useful but you should be careful reading too much into them. What is undeniably useful is the public financial statements each company has to put out which gives a good basis for comparison.
Gross margin for a company like Toyota (one of the more profitable big auto companies) hovers around 18-20% which is pretty good for what they do. Tesla's gross margin is similar but more volatile but low by the standards of luxury car makers. Bear in mind that Tesla sells no cars in the lower end of the market where margins are tighter while Toyota sells quite a few. Compare with a high margin manufacturer like Ferrari which has gross margins around 50% and Tesla doesn't look so special. Tesla might have a lot of room to improve gross margins but they aren't getting gross margins wildly better than many of their competitors.
Disclosure: I'm a certified accountant.
Why do american car companies insist on building stuff people can't afford anyways en masse?
Because it's all financed, similar to the retailers that offer payment plans on high-end appliances to people who can't afford the basic models, though the car companies don't need high interest to cover defaults because they will be bailed out by the taxpayers
For a home owner with a garage having the option to charge overnight and never having to visit another gas station is a huge plus
Well - no one yet. Oh, you were referring to the Panasonic factory near Reno that Tesla invested in?
Browsing at +1 - no ACs, I ignore their posts. So refreshing!
of business, then once they control it, stop producing them, and it will take a decade or more for someone else to design and bring one to market, more OIL money ;)
The thing with Tesla is that.. they don't really have any special technology.
Except the most advanced electric motor in the business, sure. And the best battery packs, yeah, except for those two things. Oh, and the best motor controllers. So you know, except from the whole goddamned powertrain, nothing they have is special.
"You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
It is the Stonecutters!
Still a Korean car.
AKA your basic POS.
It would be fair to say their business model required a massive upfront investment and may take years to turn a profit, but that isn't the same as claiming the cars are lossmaking.
Yeah, you're claiming that the Model 3 won't be popular, or can't be made for a profit at $35k. I think it will be as popular as a sedan ever is in America, for the next few years, just for the novelty. As for cost, various tear-downs have estimated the COGS below $35k. Whether they can make a profit after fixed costs is the real question. If you have a firm opinion, trade the stock.
Now, if we're looking out beyond 5 years, they need a pickup truck to be a successful American car company. I remain skeptical on that front, but the Tesla semi is a brilliant marketing ploy to sell pickups IMO.
Socialism: a lie told by totalitarians and believed by fools.
If Saudi Arabia of all places is investing that much in an electric car company, then is that signalling that even they, whose wealth has depended on oil production, are acknowledging that the oil won't flow forever, and in fact will become scarce within our lifetime? Makes you think.
The iPace gets good reviews and I'll have a look when the local dealer gets one, but it's a much smaller car than the X for just $10k less.
Personally I want to buy an new electric luxury SUV, I like how electrics drive and not going to gas stations is a bonus. iPace is interesting (although for most people an X would be more appealing), but the EV cars coming out from BMW, Mercedes, and Audi are compact SUVs that fall quite a bit short of the X.
Slashdot: providing anti-social weirdos a soapbox, since 1997.
I'm not him / her, but the answer I'd have is that it's growing the market for EVs by introducing possible competition.
Competition makes markets healthy, and improves / matures the offerings from each competitor.
Next question?
Slashdot still doesnâ(TM)t support Unicode after it was added to the HTML standard in 1997.
You know they built an additional assembly line in the tent, right? The original one for Model 3 is still operating.
Were they overly ambitious with their level of automation? Sure. And that probably comes with the lack of experience as you suggest. However, it's not like they tore the whole thing out and started over like you also suggest.
Slashdot still doesnâ(TM)t support Unicode after it was added to the HTML standard in 1997.
They have the money. yes.
Do they have the will? Are they willing to make a no compromise electric that would definitely cannibalize their ICE sales in the short term? No.
They are threading the needle. Slowly gradually build their electric capacity and when the gross margin in EV becomes better than their gross margin in ICEV they will switch. That is their plan.
Without Tesla their time line will stretch well into 2030s and 2040s. If Tesla is dead, it will be that long before you get no compromise electric car.
That is the reason to root for Tesla. If you want the switch over to EV be fast, you need to light a fire under the tail of the dinosaurs. And Tesla's viability is the fire. No Tesla, No EV till 2040.
sed -e 's/Chuck Norris/Rajnikant/g' joke > fact
Announced, not shipping, not available in any way for any amount of money.
"looks to be better" is not actually better unless it exists. Let's see Jag, Audi, etc. actually start selling them. Right now they are vapor being pumped out to try to freeze the market.
Slashdot still doesnâ(TM)t support Unicode after it was added to the HTML standard in 1997.
Glass roofs were tried in the 1950s. They require triple sized ACs, a deal breaker on an electric car.
John McAfee 'It was like that time I hired that Bangkok prostitute; to do my taxes, while I fucked my accountant'
Wake me up when someone makes the Geo Metro of electric cars. Affordable with incredible mileage. No stupid computer in the console gimmicky crap, no GPS, no remote start, AC and electrical windows optional.
-==- Buy a Mac and leave me alone!
$80k+ cars sell fine in the US. Just ask Audi, BMW, Porsche, Mercedes. The only US brand that really plays there is Cadillac (sorry, Lincoln imagines itself being part of that club, but... we all have our delusions).
The US companies however are more than happy to sell you an $80k+ pickup truck or SUV (price a Ram 2500 Big Horn or Ford SuperDuty King Ranch...). And many americans seem to be more than happy with this arrangement..
Announced, not shipping, not available in any way for any amount of money.
The I-PACE is available now. You can see pricing on the Jaguar USA and Jaguar UK sites, for example. You should book a test drive.
Actual Jaguar UK link.
You say VAG, BMW etc have tens of gigafactories. They don't even have one. Are you referring instead to their automobile manufacturing plants?
The Tesla Gigafactory is a battery manufacturing facility in Nevada, it's separate from the Tesla Factory in California that builds the cars. VAG, BMW etc have yet to announce any battery factories and are still purchasing them from suppliers.
They don't even have one.
Here's one.
Well done, REI. :D
What's electric cars being the future has to do with TSLA's viability as a company?
Surely they have absolutely nothing to do with one another.
(Or they have everything to do with one another- especially considering Tesla's current market position relativel to any [viable] competition... and at the end of the day, you're just another dumb shill making demonstrably disingenuous points... albeit in a slightly more subtle and indirect fashion than the next dumb shill.)
It's an option. Search a little and you'll find that heat is an issue. They had tinted glass in 1950 already.
John McAfee 'It was like that time I hired that Bangkok prostitute; to do my taxes, while I fucked my accountant'
I do love T-tops...