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'The Five-Paragraph Essay Must Die' (psmag.com)

In new book Why They Can't Write: Killing the Five-Paragraph Essay and Other Necessities, John Warner dispenses with arguments that the current moment of compositional crisis is related to screen time, text-speak, Twitter, or the idea that kids have become snowflakes who want participation trophies. An anonymous reader shares a report: There are, however, specific factors that have erected specific challenges to teaching writing in 2018; these include standardized testing, over-reliance on teaching grammar instead of writing, reliance on formulaic structure (i.e. those five-paragraph beasts), classroom surveillance, and college labor conditions. Warner examines the systemic causes in K-12 education that propel students into college without having discovered much about themselves as writers. Having explained the problems, Warner turns to solutions. The second half of the book offers his philosophical approach to teaching writing, honed over 18 years teaching first-year-writing classes at various schools, paired with practical exercises. Warner's next book, The Writer's Practice: Building Confidence in Your Nonfiction Writing, a book of exercises, will be coming out next February. Together, they offer his assessment of the problems and plan for transforming how we teach college writing in higher education.

[...] Interviewer: So why isn't the five-paragraph essay a useful starting point? Why isn't it like doing scales before playing music, or practicing free throws before playing basketball?
Warner: The danger is the prescriptive process that the use of the five-paragraph essay privileges. Students are given rules -- not just parts of speech and subject-verb agreement rules -- but [they are told] all paragraphs should have five to seven sentences. The last paragraph should start, "In conclusion," then summarize the previous three paragraphs. In a 500-word essay, the audience hasn't forgotten what you've said! So if there's a specific purpose where a five-paragraph essay is useful, go nuts.

Students need to be given experience wrestling with the full rhetorical purposes of writing. Doing that allows them to develop the kinds of thinking that writers do [and] makes them far more amenable to examining the quality of the sentences. I write bad sentences all the time in my drafts. I write ungrammatical sentences. That's how I believe how most writers work. So that's what I want students doing. A lot of what I talk about in the book a matter of re-orienting our values. The publisher hype calls The Writer's Practice revolutionary. I see it as the opposite. I have an assignment that my third-grade teacher did about the components of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It's not a revolution. It's stripping away the apparatus of school and getting back to essence.

110 of 196 comments (clear)

  1. Er, no. by dtmos · · Score: 5, Insightful

    The five-paragraph essay is the English language equivalent of "Hello World" and other elementary programs in a programming language. Once a student has proven (to himself and/or his instructor) that he can write basic functional essays/programs, and therefore write statements in the language he is using that are correct in both syntax and grammar, then he is free to write bad grammar in his drafts as much as he likes, because he has shown, at least in the simplest cases, that he knows how the language *should* be used, and can correct as necessary prior to publication/compilation. But if he has never written compile-able code, then what?

    When one writes in a high-level programming language, one is writing so that the program is interpreted correctly by a compiler and that the machine does what one wants. When one writes in a human language, one should write so that the reader can interpret what one has written correctly and, hopefully, with as little effort puzzling over it as possible. This will maximize the probability that the reader will do what one wants.

    "The Iron Imperative: Treat the reader's time as more valuable than your own." – Josh Bernoff.

    1. Re:Er, no. by azcoyote · · Score: 4, Funny

      When one writes in a human language, one should write so that the reader can interpret what one has written correctly and, hopefully, with as little effort puzzling over it as possible.

      Well said. I think the long history of people complaining over five-paragraph essays is more a sign of its success than failure. The annoying repetition is exactly what makes well-structured writing second nature for many students. I've taught plenty of college students from foreign countries or even U.S. territories where the five-paragraph essay was not enforced in high school, and this lack causes a significant and difficult learning curve for these students. They typically have trouble communicating in larger research essays because they never learned how to communicate well in five boring paragraphs. "The person who is trustworthy in very small matters is also trustworthy in great ones" (Luke 16:10a).

      --
      Incipiamus, fratres, servire Domino Deo, quia hucusque vix vel parum in nullo profecimus.
    2. Re:Er, no. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      If you are writing five paragraphs, then your topic is about 1-2 pages. If you spend time with the introduction and conclusion paragraphs, you have limited yourself to about a page of actual content for grading. It's better to be succinct than pad your essay.

    3. Re:Er, no. by rnturn · · Score: 3, Interesting

      Yes... whatever happened to the time-honored tradition of learning the rules so you know when to break them? While I'll likely get flamed for this opinion but I don't see much writing (online, at least) that indicates an "over-reliance on teaching grammar". IMHO, it's not being emphasized enough. Running across an online article that's difficult to read due to the awful grammar is pretty much a daily occurrence. One wishes that many people writing today would have spent more time on the basics: proper grammar, correct spelling (hint: a lack of red squigglies does not mean you've nailed all the spelling), proofreading, defining abbreviations/acronyms on first use, etc. That so many fail to see that these are important makes me wonder if the writers really care at all about the ideas they're trying to present.

      (Aside) I wonder about author's view on the current trend of online articles with one sentence paragraphs? I understand the need to fill up the screen with more whitespace so the dozen or more ads that litter the margins don't make it so obvious as to the real purpose of the web page ($$$, not conveying information/ideas) but no paragraph ought to be only a single sentence in length unless you're using it for emphasis. Single sentence paragraphs are right near the top of the list of popular-but-really-annoying writing devices---right next to the overuse of exclamation points and "here's three or four words of my own followed by a link to a real article that says what I wish I could figure out how to say without plagiarizing the source".

      --
      CUR ALLOC 20195.....5804M
    4. Re:Er, no. by grep+-v+'.*'+* · · Score: 1

      whatever happened to the time-honored tradition of learning the rules so you know when to break them?

      Noticed this ages ago. Peers in school would try to do odd things. OK, Fred, you're NOT Shakespeare or ee cummings, no matter if you think that you ARE. 1 out of a million can break the rules, and you're NOT Neo, you're in class supposed to be learning them. Neither is 99% of the current singing or rap population, either.

      -----

      ee cummings: modernist free-form poetry. Yeah, no punctuation, or lines, or much of anything -- I *HATED* that crap. And Emily Dickinson is just too depressing.

      --
      If the universe is someone's simulation -- does that mean the stars are just stuck pixels?
    5. Re:Er, no. by JillElf · · Score: 1

      The five-paragraph essay is the English language equivalent of "Hello World" and other elementary programs in a programming language. Yes! Many years ago all the freshman at my college had to write an essay (probably the 5 paragraph essay) that determined whether or not you need to take writing classes. If you showed basic competence, you were excused from taking writing 101. The theory was that you would still improve your writing as the entire college was writing heavy and all classes used the same style book. Those that failed were doomed to keep taking writing classes until the English professors freed them.

    6. Re:Er, no. by Cederic · · Score: 1

      The five-paragraph essay is the English language equivalent of "Hello World"

      No, it appears to be the American language equivalent.

      In English we were taught spelling, grammar and poetry. I was never taught a five paragraph essay structure, just a more freeform 'begin, middle, end' that happily extends to other forms of writing too.

    7. Re:Er, no. by Cederic · · Score: 1

      "Cash me ouside how bow dah" is barely comprehensible to even American English speakers, right now

      You say that but Irvine Welsh achieved fame by phonetically capturing spoken Scottish, so why wouldn't someone do the same for heavily accented American?

      I've never even heard of Dr. Phil and don't know the meme to which you refer but it's pretty obvious that you're quoting someone saying, "Catch me outside, how about that?"

      "mov yax, beex" cannot be interpreted, it is invalid and wrong

      Maybe, but "move yaks beer" would be a fine piece of street art.

    8. Re:Er, no. by dinfinity · · Score: 1

      While I'll likely get flamed for this opinion but I don't see much writing (online, at least) that indicates an "over-reliance on teaching grammar". IMHO, it's not being emphasized enough.

      I agree with the former, but I believe that it is mostly due to people being unwilling to revisit grammar (and spelling) at an adult age. My approach in any (i.e. primary or secondary) language is to lookup words or grammar rules whenever I am unsure about them. A simple and effective strategy. We all forget things or have simply never learnt them well enough.

      Other people seem unwilling to do this, perhaps out of shame of engaging in an activity that seems infantile (as learning grammar and spelling is something associated with primary school). Perhaps this is also why people feel offended when you correct their language (which I will always welcome) with something along the lines of "you knew what I meant!" or "yeah, whatever, grammar nazi". A coping mechanism for something that feels as if they weren't able to calculate 7*8 and if having to look that up would be admitting utter failure.

    9. Re:Er, no. by Abby+Lin · · Score: 1

      Writing an essay in itself contributes to the manifestation of creativity in the student. This very discipline helped me to learn how to properly express my thoughts and plan. If someone suddenly does not immediately cope with this, then he can turn to professional writers. Having an excellent sample before your eyes, you yourself will notice that getting A+ becomes easier with APlusEssay.com.

  2. Make it easy for the reader by petes_PoV · · Score: 3, Insightful

    The last paragraph should start, "In conclusion," then summarize the previous three paragraphs

    So if the final paragraph summaries the preceding stuff, that is all a reader needs to bother with. Just skip to the last few sentences and it will convey the "meat" of the essay. And that means the reader doesn't have to wade through all the redundant stuff above it.

    That sounds like a win, to me. A bit like an abstract in an academic paper.

    --
    politicians are like babies' nappies: they should both be changed regularly and for the same reasons
    1. Re:Make it easy for the reader by LynnwoodRooster · · Score: 1

      And if the conclusion doesn't make sense, or doesn't seem correct, theoretically you have the preceding 4+ paragraphs to learn why the conclusion was made. Much like a scientific paper - the abstract tells you what they set out to do and what the general result was, but the paper itself tells you what was done. Always cutting to the end and ignoring the meat of the work results in people understanding a mile's width of issues no more than an inch deep.

      --
      Browsing at +1 - no ACs, I ignore their posts. So refreshing!
    2. Re:Make it easy for the reader by grep+-v+'.*'+* · · Score: 1
      TL;DR: Just skip to the last few sentences

      The last paragraph should start, "In conclusion," then summarize the previous three paragraphs

      So if the final paragraph summaries the preceding stuff, that is all a reader needs to bother with. Just skip to the last few sentences and it will convey the "meat" of the essay. And that means the reader doesn't have to wade through all the redundant stuff above it.

      That sounds like a win, to me. A bit like an abstract in an academic paper.

      And why the Hell is TL;DR supposed to be at the bottom? If I didn't bother to read the article I'm sure as heck not going to see the bottom of it where the synopsis is "supposed" to be. Learned that a decade ago in business writing class my company sponsored.

      Put it, and "In conclusion" at the top. If I want your justification or supporting details I'll read on.

      --
      If the universe is someone's simulation -- does that mean the stars are just stuck pixels?
    3. Re:Make it easy for the reader by Cederic · · Score: 1

      The business terminology is "Executive Summary" but yes, it does go at the start of a document.

    4. Re:Make it easy for the reader by dinfinity · · Score: 1

      So if the final paragraph summaries the preceding stuff, that is all a reader needs to bother with.

      Spoken like a true Slashdotter. TFS is all you need, eh?

    5. Re:Make it easy for the reader by dinfinity · · Score: 1

      Technically, in journalism, it is called the 'lead' (or 'lede') and it should be the first paragraph:
      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...
      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...

      Related and relevant:
      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...

      Also good form when writing a lengthy email or comment.

  3. In conclusion? by omnichad · · Score: 2

    I thought starting a paragraph with "In conclusion" was the most uninspired, lazy, child-level writing habit. There are teachers actually prescribing this?

    1. Re:In conclusion? by omnichad · · Score: 1

      Well written, engaging essays are not classified under "creative writing.". Teaching writing formulas does not teach general competence.

    2. Re:In conclusion? by Solandri · · Score: 1

      It's not lazy or uninspired. It's so someone skimming what you wrote to try to find the conclusion can quickly locate it. Yeah it may sound cliche, but it prioritizes function over form. Scientific papers formalize this by just giving the entire subsection a heading named "Conclusion."

    3. Re:In conclusion? by thegarbz · · Score: 1

      When someone is making a point it is often best to not go out seeking inspiration or creativity in doing so. Using introductions to your paragraph such as the phrase "In conclusion" is nothing more than a literary tool. You need to know when to apply it and when not to.

    4. Re:In conclusion? by omnichad · · Score: 1

      Maybe it's also worth adding that a summary in itself is in no way a conclusion (except that it's an ending).

    5. Re:In conclusion? by omnichad · · Score: 1

      That would make sense if you were coming to a conclusion (judgement/determination rather than ending). But it's just a summary. You don't need to find it or if you do it's always at the end.

    6. Re:In conclusion? by aberglas · · Score: 1

      If had a stack of essays to mark at the end of a long day would you read them to the end? Or just skip to the conclusion.

  4. Can you blame them? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    They come into college quite damaged by school. And they perceive themselves as survivors in a battle. It's particularly bad for writing because so much of writing is the ability to take a risk, to set a goal and risk failure. Falling short of your goal is nonetheless a noble enterprise that gets you up to try again.

    Well, yeah. Taking risks and failing means a lower GPA. It means the possibility that you cannot move on in your education or getting a good job.

    No one looks at the transcript and thinks, "Gee, he got a bad grade in writing. Let's look at his work and see if he took a lot of risks and tried to grow as a writer."

    Nope. That number is all important. It's all about test scores and GPAs in our society. You get one shot so taking the least risky path is the beast - unless you're a trust fund baby and thumb your nose at the system because mommy and daddy gots lots O money!

  5. When did this become a thing? by Petersko · · Score: 3, Interesting

    I'm serious. The 5 paragraph essay is something with which I am completely unfamiliar. Is this some kind of gateway to literacy?

    1. Re:When did this become a thing? by Oswald+McWeany · · Score: 3, Insightful

      I'm serious. The 5 paragraph essay is something with which I am completely unfamiliar. Is this some kind of gateway to literacy?

      A lot of American schools teach the 5 paragraph essay. 1st paragraph you describe what you are going to "make an argument for"; the next three paragraphs are separate supporting cases for your argument; so basically you backup your argument with three facts in your favour. The last paragraph summarizes the rest of the paper and gives a tidy ending.

      There is nothing really wrong for it. For teaching basic concept of how to write something to make an argument for something it isn't bad. It's a format that makes it easy for students to think through what they need to do. It also makes it easier for teachers to grade fairly by having a rubric to go against.

      The only problem with the 5 paragraph essay is that perhaps it is overused. As long as students learn other writing techniques and are exposed to a variety of projects there is nothing wrong with them in moderation.

      --
      "That's the way to do it" - Punch
    2. Re:When did this become a thing? by azcoyote · · Score: 1

      It's been an American thing for a long time. I don't know if it is used in other English-speaking countries, but from my experience teaching college students it seems not to be typical in non-English-speaking countries, or in Africa, or even in Guam (even though it is part of the U.S.).

      --
      Incipiamus, fratres, servire Domino Deo, quia hucusque vix vel parum in nullo profecimus.
    3. Re:When did this become a thing? by LynnwoodRooster · · Score: 1, Funny

      It's an expression of teaching logic. You start with an introduction (or, in a science paper, the abstract). Then you set up the problem, analyze it for a paragraph or two, and then provide a conclusion. Basically this format is a subtle way to reinforce logical reasoning and critical thinking - structured organization of thoughts is crucial in all but the most mundane of careers. Introduction, problem summary, analysis, results, conclusion.

      --
      Browsing at +1 - no ACs, I ignore their posts. So refreshing!
    4. Re:When did this become a thing? by aaarrrgggh · · Score: 1

      I wouldn't say I have seen literary genius in a 5-paragraph essay, but the formula and structure are a useful basic guideline for technical writing. I always push junior engineers to focus on one-page reports with Background, Analysis, and Recommendation. It is essentially the same structure, and it is useful for conveying an approach and recommendations for many things.

      Of course it doesn't take the place of a full report (or a few quick lines in an email), but it is a nice simple construct for organizing thoughts.

    5. Re:When did this become a thing? by Hadlock · · Score: 2

      I went to school in two different parts of america, we did 5 paragraph essays starting in late elementary school, all of middle school and probably the first half of high school.
       
      If I had to guess they were borne out of a need for people to be able to summarize some data in to a report that their manager could read. They definitely existed in the 80s and 90s, and probably some decades before that.
       
      For writing emails to upper management, the one thing I did get from that writing style is to preface the first sentence of each paragraph of a plan as first, second, third, finally etc etc.
       
      What would have been more helpful though, was learning how to do an executive summary, as that seems to be the most important skill for getting promoted; I tend to get bogged down in the details when summarizing things.

      --
      moox. for a new generation.
    6. Re:When did this become a thing? by Hognoxious · · Score: 1

      I suppose it's like if you're a mediocre musician you can stick to three chords and it'll sound OK, but a good one can slip the odd different one in and it'll sound more interesting.

      --
      Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
    7. Re:When did this become a thing? by Cederic · · Score: 1

      The key to an executive summary is to write it for that one key person that you need to make a decision or change. Understand what's going to be of interest and relevance to them, and include that, and only that.

      What you or others think is important is irrelevant. The detail is irrelevant. In an executive summary the core message you need that one person to hear, conveyed in a form they'll understand and want to act on, is the sole thing that matters.

      The rest of the document is there for them to copy when they present your recommendations to the board.

    8. Re:When did this become a thing? by Hadlock · · Score: 1

      Remarkably solid advice, thanks sir/madame

      --
      moox. for a new generation.
  6. More creative writing? by bplipschitz · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Perhaps the five-paragraph essay needs to die. Perhaps more kids need more exposure to creative writing. Visit one of Dave Eggars (sp?) studios -- the Pirate Store, Brooklyn Superhero Supply etc. -- and see kids engaged and excited about creative writing. Get them interested and excited, then help them hone the craft. It can be formulaic, or it can be free form -- there are many ways to write.

    1. Re:More creative writing? by jythie · · Score: 2

      Thing is, the 5 paragraph structure is not used for fiction in the first place, which might be why the OP is both against it and not making much sense. It is a tool of a type of writing the writer in question is not interested in... which makes their distaste for it all the more confusing, unless their actual objective is to draw more people into their type of writing. Ironically, the author's failure to make their point and explain how the parts connect to each other makes me think they would benefit from learning a bit more structured writing.

    2. Re:More creative writing? by Cederic · · Score: 1

      If you don't think non-fiction writing is creative then you may have been overtaught the five paragraph structure.

      I can and do write business documents in a range of styles, adapting and adopting styles appropriate to the audience and how I want them to perceive it. A 'how to' for a technician is different to the same material for someone answering a telephone helpdesk and is in turn different to what an end user will best work with. Options papers, business cases, bids, technical reviews, designs and emails telling department managers that they're incompetent can all be flexed and varied, and a lot of creativity goes into assuring they achieve the desired outcomes.

    3. Re:More creative writing? by jythie · · Score: 1

      I completely agree that a lot of creativity goes into writing non-fiction, even mundane things like business documents or manuals. I was mostly commenting that the author of the original piece sounded like they were mostly interested in either writing fiction or things adjacent to it, and they self identified as a creative writing teacher.

  7. 3 Main Bullets by The+Snazster · · Score: 2

    Not unlike how my generation was trained that any briefing (usually in PowerPoint) was to have three main points because, if you couldn't present in three bullet statements it was too complicated to be briefing to upper management (or even lower level folks). Less than three was also unacceptable; it meant you hadn't done your homework or some such.

    Obviously, having everything limited to three main points is ridiculous. So called "leaders" (bad managers) were usually just making decisions based on whose bullets made the best sound bites.

    1. Re:3 Main Bullets by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      I've learned that I can't ask more than one question in an email. The recipient will answer the first and ignore the rest.

    2. Re:3 Main Bullets by michael_cain · · Score: 1

      Yep. Five paragraphs of single-spaced text in a reasonable font also fits nicely on one side of one piece of paper, which is the limit for writing a take-away summary for upper management. Lived by that rule for decades. If it has a staple they won't take it; if they have to turn the page over they won't finish it; always put the most important point first, because they may not finish any way.

    3. Re: 3 Main Bullets by Hognoxious · · Score: 1

      You could try numbering them, but they'll write the answer to 6 but label it as 8. Even if they only go up to 7.

      --
      Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
  8. Think "Patterns" by meburke · · Score: 2

    The problem for writing English is the same as for programming; It is based on the assumption that you can "manufacture" people with proper skills. The 5-paragraph essay and other "rules" included in English writing instruction are mostly conventions so that the "quality control" people (read, "teachers") can spot deficiencies without stressing themselves.

    C. K. Ogden, co-author of, "The Meaning of Meaning," constructed a form of "Basic English" on the proposition that a person could communicate anything using his 850 words. If I was teaching writing, especially non-fiction, for the first two months I would limit my students to using only Ogden's vocabulary. Then for the next month I would allow them to increase their vocabulary as long as they only used E-Prime. Only then would I allow them to explore the possibility of writing like John McPhee, Charles Petzold, Robert Hutchins, or other exceptional non-fiction writers.

    BTW, after learning to communicate precisely, the Random House "Word Menu" is a great tool for creating more interesting writing. https://www.amazon.com/Random-...

    --
    "The mind works quicker than you think!"
    1. Re:Think "Patterns" by Oligonicella · · Score: 2

      It is based on the assumption that you can "manufacture" people with proper skills.

      for the first two months I would limit my students to using only Ogden's vocabulary

      Do you not see the contradiction?

      after learning to communicate precisely

      The point of the 5-paragraph essay.

    2. Re:Think "Patterns" by meburke · · Score: 1

      Sorry for not responding to this faster, but I had to order the book and read it thoroughly. At the time of my previous response I had only read excerpts.

      You seem to think that I'm against the 5-paragraph essay. I'm not. The 5-paragraph essay has its uses and teaching concise communication seems appropriate to me. I'm against the 5-paragraph essay as a writing PRODUCT. The end result of writing (IMO) should be communication; not 5 paragraphs, not 7 sentences, not a concluding paragraph that says, "in conclusion...", but an actual transmission of thought.

      There are over 460,000 words in the English language. My opinion about teaching using only the Ogden Basic English comes from my desire to see people master the skills of communication. And that is what writing is; a skill. If you are learning to golf, you start out with only 3 clubs in your bag. After you learn the basics you expand your quantity of tools. The same is true of learning martial arts (limited basics called kihon), tennis, watercolor painting, and many other skills.

      I like the idea of using E-Prime later on, because it forms communication with direct descriptions for the relationships between subject and verb. Once a person can clearly distinguish those relationships, they can move on to creating artful communication. The process of learning a skill is the experience of going from "awkward, awkward, awkward" to "mechanical, mechanical, mechanical", and on to "elegant, elegant, elegant".

      So I'm not saying that appropriate experiences should be overlooked. I'm saying that the desired goal is creative and artful output by the doer. Musicians must learn scales and proper body control before they can produce artful music, and writers must learn those equivalent and analogous skills to produce artful writing.

      --
      "The mind works quicker than you think!"
  9. Re:But keep teaching them to return/tab... by AvitarX · · Score: 3, Insightful

    It'd be much more reaosnable to teach them how a word processor works.

    There is no reason to tab at the start of a paragraph, the first line indent should be set as a paragraph style.

    --
    Wow, sent an e-mail as suggested when clicking on "use classic" banner, and got a fast response that addressed my msg
  10. Re:But keep teaching them to return/tab... by Oligonicella · · Score: 1

    Indent via word processor action (which can be turned off) or indent via tab - same, same. Tab at the start *is* "first line indent". Word processors typically have spell check as well. This leads people to fail to edit and so publish errors.

  11. Ridiculous! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Anonymous Coward
    December 24 2018
    Slashdot.com Forums

    This article is ridiculous.

        This article has no substance to it. Historically, students have written five paragraph essays and have been fine. In addition, it provides a very easy playround to learn new writing processes. Finally, it is an easy mechanism for teachers to grade.
        When I was in Highschool, I learned how to write five paragraphs essays. We were instructed to provide an introductory paragraph, three supporting paragraphs, and a conclusion. I turned out just find writing five paragraph essays. While this is obviously anecdotal evidence, it is my conclusion that anyone who cannot write a five paragraph essay is an idiot.
        In addition, five paragraph essays provide an excellent sandbox for students to learn mechanisms of good writing. For example, in my eighth grade class, we needed to write an essay which focused on using transitional words, such as: first, second, thus, in addition, therefore, finally, as well as many others. Because of the small size of a five paragraph essay, it was easy to learn these mechanism and incorporate them into our writing. It would not be possible to learn how to use these words in smaller paragraphs. Essays longer than five paragraphs may be too long, and result in extra work without learning the core material.
        Finally, five paragraph essays are easy to grade. Because all of the essays come in in a similar format, it can be easy to determine whether the structure of the paragraphs make sense. It becomes easy for thhe teacher to determine whether the student learned the core concepts of what was taught in class. The standardization also makes it easy for the teacher to compare students, as well as how different classes are performing. This would not be possible without the standard five paragraph essay.
        In conclusions, the five paragraph essay must be used in classes. As we have learned, it has been used historically and high performance students have graduated learning the five paragraph format. The five paragraph format also provides an excellent playground for students to learn how to assemble their essays, as well as learn different techniques of writing. Lastly the standardization a five paragraph essay provides is useful way to standardize scores not only among students, but also among different classes in the same school. For these reasons, the five paragraph essay must continue to be taught in schools across America.

    1. Re:Ridiculous! by Hadlock · · Score: 1

      I wish I had mod points, best post I've seen in months and months on slashdot.

      --
      moox. for a new generation.
  12. Something I've found interesting by Oligonicella · · Score: 2

    is that ever since these jokers started coming up with all the alternative methods, kids have started getting worse and worse at writing.

    1. Re: Something I've found interesting by jythie · · Score: 2

      Meh. I once had a professor who was really big on 'tests of 2', exams where you knew ahead of time that the answer to every single question was '2', and you had to demonstrate that you understood the process for getting that answer by showing your work since the whole point of the class was learning to do something, not happening to get the right answer.

      Common Core math is just following that pattern. The point is to learn the technique, not get the answer itself, since there are any number of shortcuts or tools one could use to get the answer elsewhere

    2. Re: Something I've found interesting by jythie · · Score: 1

      No, the point of learning a technique is to learn the technique and show that you are capable of using it. Even in engineering, if you go and say take coursework in python, teachers are not going to accept assignments written in perl, and employers are not going to be impressed with 'well, I can solve the same problem using this other language'. Even within a language class, if a teacher asks you to implement a linked list, they are not going to be amused if you solve the problem some other way. Similarly, if a boss or a team lead wants a solution that follows a particular pattern, they are not going to be amused if you can not follow instructions and do it some other way.

    3. Re:Something I've found interesting by Hognoxious · · Score: 1

      Common Core is a list of what children at particular ages should know. It says absolutely nothing about how they should be taught.

      Stop repeating what you heard on Fox News.

      --
      Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
  13. It was explained poorly by Sigma+7 · · Score: 1

    Whether or not the five sentence paragraph or the five paragraph essay are useful, my exposure to it was a poor explanation on how it was to be done. It also only appeared in one grade, never to be used again aside from the infrequent mention of it. It also resulted in text that felt rigid compared to conventional writing.

    How it was explained: The five paragraph essay is a composite of five sentence paragraphs. The first paragraph is the intro (which lists the three points covered in the next three sentences), paragraphs 2-4 each describe one of the three points, and paragraph 5 is the conclusion that relists the three supporting points. Each five sentence paragraph is similar - first is the intro, the next three are supporting, and final is the conclusion (or transition in case of the five paragraph essay.)

    The result was that I had to shoehorn more content into the essay, because it was also explained that each example should be independent from each other, but related to the paragraph. This brings the total from 3 examples to 12 examples, and it will grow exponentially if this is extended into a five essay chapter (48 examples), or a five chapter book (192 examples).

    Writing normally means I can instead put as many examples as needed without having to stuff excessive examples in a fractal pattern. While the five paragraph essay could have been the same, it wasn't the case in how it was explained.

  14. No, they can't write by nospam007 · · Score: 1

    ...because they can't read either.

  15. Re:Essayâ(TM)s are short free associations by LynnwoodRooster · · Score: 1

    If you want the reader to comprehend what you write, then you should use appropriate structure. If you want to convey appropriate meaning, then structure and length is almost required.

    appropriate then reader you structure you you,. the to is, comprehend structure what you should almost use want and appropriate to If meaning If then length convey write want required

    --
    Browsing at +1 - no ACs, I ignore their posts. So refreshing!
  16. Re:But keep teaching them to return/tab... by Oswald+McWeany · · Score: 1

    I get the gripe with the five sentence, five paragraph essay. Had it shoved down my throat in school. But isn't the point to break up ideas into logical blocks?

    That's the point of emphasis that's missing. How many sentences you use in a paragraph or how many blocks of ideas you need to argue your point is irrelevant.

    There's nothing wrong with the 5 paragraph essay- as long as that isn't the only writing construction taught. Saying the 5 paragraph essay is bad is like saying a Toyota Camry is bad because it can't tow a boat. It is good that students be taught different styles of construction.

    --
    "That's the way to do it" - Punch
  17. Re:You want to eliminate the 5 paragraph essay? by Oswald+McWeany · · Score: 1

    That's fine, just replace it with COBOL class. It'll end up teaching them the same basic principles.

    I dunno. COBOL is pretty verbose. "Hello World" might take up more than 5 paragraphs.

    --
    "That's the way to do it" - Punch
  18. How does a five-paragraph essay and rules help? by SuperKendall · · Score: 4, Insightful

    The five-paragraph essay is the English language equivalent of "Hello World" and other elementary programs in a programming language. Once a student has proven (to himself and/or his instructor) that he can write basic functional essays/programs,...one should write so that the reader can interpret what one has written correctly

    How does telling someone they MUST write five paragraphs of five to seven sentences help any of that?

    Although I have not heard of that particular rule, I have seen the effect of mandates on length and structure - a lot of filler prose, a lot tortured text to fit into an artificial constraint - all of it working against expressed clarity of thought.

    I agree it's good to help understand fundamental rules before you start breaking them meaningfully. Rules of grammar and syntax are important fundamentals.

    A particular paragraph length is in no way a fundamental rule, instead it is a kind of canvas onto which someone skilled may paint a picture with words when they understand how to work them - forcing kids to write onto this space is like giving them a large canvas and oil paints when they have never even held a brush.

    If we forced all kids to write nothing but limericks for several years it would be rightfully considered absurd. Yet the five paragraph essay would seem not to fall far from that tree.

    --
    "There is more worth loving than we have strength to love." - Brian Jay Stanley
    1. Re:How does a five-paragraph essay and rules help? by DarkOx · · Score: 1

      I agree the 5-7 sentence thing is news to me as well but there are and should be some rules for paragraphing. For example a single sentence would make a poor paragraph Generally paragraphs should have their own sort of introduction, body, and conclusion. What is the basic idea being proffered, supporting details or thoughts, and a summary to cement it. So I would say a paragraph will need at least three or four sentences. If you don't have four sentences chances are good the concept isnt really deserving of its own paragraph and would be better offered as support in some other paragraph body.

      These writing rules make good rough guides for beginners. Its often unclear to them what good organization structure look like. Working inside a basic template gives them targets to aim at. It provides some indicators they can use to decide maybe this isn't organized well. As often forcing ideas onto that template creates a tortured text it forces the deliberate organization of thoughts where you'd otherwise end up with stream of conscience.

      --
      Repeal the 17th Amendment TODAY! Also Please Read http://www.gnu.org/philosophy/right-to-read.html
    2. Re:How does a five-paragraph essay and rules help? by Solandri · · Score: 1

      A particular paragraph length is in no way a fundamental rule, instead it is a kind of canvas onto which someone skilled may paint a picture with words when they understand how to work them - forcing kids to write onto this space is like giving them a large canvas and oil paints when they have never even held a brush.

      The point behind the 5-paragraph essay is not to force you to write things in 5 paragraphs. It's to force you to first think about what you want to say, so you will present it in a manner which is easier for a reader unfamiliar with the material to understand. It encourages you to start with an introduction, so the reader has proper context to understand what's coming up. That's followed by development to fully explain what you're trying to say. And it finishes with a conclusion which sums everything up, and stresses what action or change needs to be taken in response to what was just said.

      If your message is intended for a single person or needs to be written as quickly as possible, then I can understand jettisoning punctuation, spelling, grammar, and 5-paragraph order organization. But if your intent is for your message to be read by multiple people or to try to get the reader to do something for you, then saving their time is more important than saving your time by being lazy. When you abbreviate, don't punctuate and spell-check properly, and don't first organize your thoughts in a 5-paragraph manner, you're being arrogant and condescending towards the reader. They will potentially waste more of their cumulative time trying to figure out what you were trying to say, than it would've taken for you to write it properly in the first place.

      The entire point of communication is to try to relay as much information as possible in as little time as possible. Teaching kids to organize their thoughts to fit in a 5 paragraph essay encourages clear yet concise communication. Teaching them to write limericks does not.

      I think it's rather telling that writers and scientists gravitated towards the same format for writing. An introduction at the beginning, a conclusion and discussion at the end, and 3 or more sections of development in the middle. It forces you to write in a manner which is easier for the reader to understand, skim, and review if they want to quickly find a section again to re-read. Yeah it takes more of your time, but the idea is that you give up a little of your time to save the readers a lot of their time.

    3. Re:How does a five-paragraph essay and rules help? by ChromeAeonuim · · Score: 1

      It doesn't help anything. It just makes it easy for graders to grade en masse. They don't want to grade well written essays and figure out how to quantify creativity, they just want the essays to conform to their standard. You don't have to know how to write, you just have to know what boxes the graders are looking to check off and give it to them. Any other way of doing it is 'wrong.'

      This is just more teach the test crap.

    4. Re:How does a five-paragraph essay and rules help? by tlhIngan · · Score: 1

      The 5 paragraph essay is really for handwritten essays. It's approximately 500 words long, and an average student should be able to compose one in about 45 minutes, including writing it out on paper.

      That's the power of the 5 paragraph essay - to be able to show you can communicate an idea in a time limited environment. It shows you can compose an introduction, present your evidence and conclude. It's short enough you can quickly outline your ideas on a piece of scratch paper and write something cohesive in a test period.

      Outside of a test environment, the basic structure should be modified to suit the fact that you're no longer confined to 5 paragraphs. However, you still need an introduction, present your evidence, and then summarize your points in a conclusion. But given this is a longer form exercise usually done at home and in front of a word processor, it's no longer expected to be 5 paragraphs or 500 words long, but at least 1,000 words long.

      The only changes is that you'd probably need a couple of paragraphs for the introduction because you're going to state a problem and why you think you have a solution. Then you're going to present your evidence - at least 3 points, So each point will consume one or more paragraphs, where you'll present the idea, flesh it out, and even handle some arguments against your point.

      And then you'll conclude where you present your points and reiterate why your solution is workable/

      You start with the 5 paragraph essay in the beginning because you're teaching how to present an essay, and it'll carry on through school because it's idea for testing purposes - a student can write one in a period for a test. But once you're assigning it as homework, students should start with the 5 paragraphs as a basic structure, then modifying it as they are no longer constrained by time or resources (no longer limited to a scratch sheet of paper to outline your ideas).

    5. Re:How does a five-paragraph essay and rules help? by dpidcoe · · Score: 1

      How does telling someone they MUST write five paragraphs of five to seven sentences help any of that?

      As someone who was writing challenged all through high school, it helped me tremendously when I was introduced to it in college. It broke down this giant overwhelming thing into manageable parts. All I had to do was think of a thesis, think of three supporting points, and the essay was basically written. Thesis sentence, point 1, point 2, point 3, summary. First paragraph done. "Thesis" for point 1, supporting fact, supporting fact, supporting fact, conclusion. Second paragraph done, and so on. Once I was able to actually experience writing in a way that wasn't painful, I was able to actually get a handle on the basics and move on with my life.

      That said, I'm not necessarily disagreeing with any of your other points. The way it was taught to us wasn't forced. We weren't docked points if a paragraph was 4 sentences or 6 sentences. It also was only for a single semester long class, not years and years of schooling.

    6. Re:How does a five-paragraph essay and rules help? by SuperKendall · · Score: 1

      All I can say is, very clever and glad you agree. :-)

      --
      "There is more worth loving than we have strength to love." - Brian Jay Stanley
    7. Re:How does a five-paragraph essay and rules help? by SuperKendall · · Score: 1

      "Thesis" for point 1, supporting fact, supporting fact, supporting fact, conclusion

      I agree with teaching the basic concept of breaking down ideas into multiple points.

      That structure though, regardless of number of points, leads to a really unpleasant read I think.

      Maybe just teaching the concept as intro; idea.*; conclusion you were supposed to have led them to and you better re-read what you wrote to make sure you did...

      Also that structure encourages you to write the thesis first, when sometimes you are better off writing the conclusion and supporting facts and then you can actually write about what you wrote instead of what you planned to write. :-)

      --
      "There is more worth loving than we have strength to love." - Brian Jay Stanley
  19. Readers DO forget the point, even in /. posts by raymorris · · Score: 2

    > 500-word essay, the audience hasn't forgotten what you've said!

    My experience on Slashdot and elsewhere is that this is bad advance. Readers DO forget the point, or don't get the point, unless it's stated at the beginning and at the end.

    The standard form essay is to state your point, support your point, and then close by restating your point. I've found that when I do that on Slashdot, I get far better replies, fewer replies to unimportant supporting sentences and more that go to the point of the discussion. I also get moderated higher. (Though political viewpoints also greatly affect moderation).

    I see that right now the highest rated comment on this page is from Dtmos. Dtmos made a statement, went into further detail, then at the end repeated his thesis statement. That got the highest moderation, so clearly that format works.

    In a Slashdot post, we may have the first *sentence* introduce our thesis, then a few sentences of support, closing with a conclusion sentence again stating the thesis we started with. We may even set each off with a line feed, making it a one or two sentence introductory paragraph like this post has.

    Again I'm not saying everything needs to be five paragraphs. I'm disagreeing with his aversion to closing by restating the thesis, his argument "they haven't forgotten what you said in a 500 word essay!"

    By mentioning the thesis, stating the point, at the beginning and end of a communication you make it clear what the main point is. The reader doesn't get distracted by the supporting sentences, because they know that your main point is the thing you said first and last.

    1. Re:Readers DO forget the point, even in /. posts by war4peace · · Score: 2

      As with all other things, this isn't a fully black-or-white situation. the 5-paragraph rule set is a creativity killer but can make exact science communication better under most circumstances.

      --
      ...gis sdrawkcab (usually not responding to ACs; don't bother posting as AC)
    2. Re: Readers DO forget the point, even in /. posts by RazorSharp · · Score: 1

      The five-paragraph format isnâ(TM)t for scientific writing. Scientific writing utilizes the IMRAD format. Interestingly enough, the formulaic structure of the IMRAD format faces its own criticisms. For instance, if you look at the replication crisis in psychology/sociology, one cause thatâ(TM)s been suggested has been journals looking for papers that meet the conventions of the genre rather than providing useful content.

      This is a problem with formulaic writing structures. You write for the structure of the genre first and foremost. Itâ(TM)s hard for students to learn to deviate from the five-paragraph structure essay once theyâ(TM)ve learned it, and it only provides a template for an extremely limited genre of essay that is not particularly useful. Once they are asked to write more than two or three pages they donâ(TM)t know what to do.

      --
      "From the depths of my skeptical and rationalist soul, I ask the Lord to protect me from California touchie-feeliedom."
    3. Re:Readers DO forget the point, even in /. posts by UnknownSoldier · · Score: 1

      I've been karma capped for a decade+. In my experience the shorter the post the better. Sometimes only a 1 liner needs to stated, sometimes two paragraphs, sometimes more.

      The problem with bullshit rules like this is that there are ALWAYS exceptions. Things should be made simple but no simpler. Sometimes there are complicated subjects being discussed which requires more detail. Sticking to a mindless rule is missing the point. The point is be clear and precise without a fucking wall of verbose text.

      There are other rules which are just as important;

      * The first time acronyms are used -- fucking EXPLAIN them. The /. editors are some of laziest editors around. Explain terms in a one sentence summary.

      * ALWAYS give the month and year an essay is posted. Far too many shit sites list a title and month but the reader has no fucking idea if the article was written 20 years ago or this year.

      * There is a reason we have the five W's: Who, what, where, when, why. Stop fucking leaving important details out.

      * Stop using fallacies.

      * Don't use ad hominem criticism. Ironically, it makes you look like an immature idiot.

      * Use some critical thinking

      That's enough for now.

    4. Re: Readers DO forget the point, even in /. posts by war4peace · · Score: 1

      Not having used either in the past, I wasn't aware of the IMRAD format.
      I'm guessing writing conventions would help those who can't produce meaningful text otherwise.

      --
      ...gis sdrawkcab (usually not responding to ACs; don't bother posting as AC)
  20. Never had a "five para essay" when I was in colleg by whitroth · · Score: 1

    or in high school On the other hand, my12th grade teacher, every Monday, had a sentence written on the board when we came in, and we had to wrote 500 words on that, or including that. That was what we did that period....

  21. Re:But keep teaching them to return/tab... by TechyImmigrant · · Score: 1

    It'd be much more reaosnable to teach them how a word processor works.

    That's why kids these days waste their time messing with word's settings, rather than learning to let LaTeX do the heavy lifting for them.

    --
    I should use this sig to advertise my book ISBN-13 : 978-1501515132.
  22. Re:Jesus is 2018 years old? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    Jesus? The guy at the bar? Nah, he's maybe 25. His dad, Levon, has a sense of humour, yes.

  23. Re:Indeed by jellomizer · · Score: 1

    Exactly.
    Unfortunately a lot of people who see the greats who break the rules, think they shouldn't follow them as well, and produce crap, because they don't understand the foundation on where to go. And others who are so strict on the rules, they lock themselves into the structure vs what is needed.

    This is true for almost any topic, Programming, Music, Ligature, Public Speaking....

    Steve Jobs was one of the great public speakers. He went on stage with a turtle neck, not a suite. (He use to wear a suite earlier in his career). Now one of the rules for public speaking is to dress professionally. But jobs broke that rule. Why?
    Jobs knew what he was doing. He needed to separate Apple from the other computer companies. He needed to shows Apples trend towards the minimalist design. So he ditched the suite to help communicate that direction with Apple. This works for Job, but it wouldn't work if the CEO of IBM did it (even if he did it first). You need to know the rules, and if you are going to break them then you need to know why and how to do such. Notice how Job put in the Turtle Neck not a t-shirt he still needed a degree of professionalism (business causal) look like an artist, not a bum.

    --
    If something is so important that you feel the need to post it on the internet... It probably isn't that important.
  24. Problems and Solutions. by jythie · · Score: 1

    Maybe if I read the book it would be clearer, but from the interview I am not even really sure what problem he is trying to solve, which makes picking on a standard essay format are a 'solution' rather baffling.

    I can not even figure out what kind of 'writing' the person is trying to save, much less from what. The 5 paragraph essay format is used to teach techniques for making an argument or trying to give an overview of a topic, but the author seems concerned with fication or other storytelling, which the pattern does not apply to in the first place.

    So I suspect the author has some ideological or aesthetic ax to grind, but I am really unclear on what it is or how his points tie into it.

  25. Re: How does a five-paragraph essay and rules help by TimMD909 · · Score: 1

    The point of a 5 paragraph essay is to learn how to do an intro, have at least 3 supporting ideas, then an outro. In my experience, that format was only used for kids. By the time we were teenagers, that format was long gone.

    Think of the 5 paragraph essay as a kata in karate. You have to do very specific moves to demonstrate your mastery. However, they would never ever expect that kata to be used in a real world scenario.

  26. Over-simplified advice that fails students by VeryFluffyBunny · · Score: 1

    Academic writing is the most cognitively challenging thing any human being ever has to do. Learning to write it difficult because it not only requires us to learning a long list of component/constituent skills, but also to coordinate those skills simultaneously in specific ways in order to write well.

    In the same way that we don't run full marathons every training session in order to become marathon runners, we shouldn't write whole essays every time we learn to write. Although it should be done in the context of full, meaningful compositions, students should practice specific aspects of writing, whether it be focusing on form, e.g. the component paragraphs of 5-paragraph essays, or on meaning, e.g. why proposition X is good or bad, how you support your arguments, & how to introduce & summarise your claims. Continuing with the marathon analogy, it's like strength training, breathing exercises, stretching, etc., as well as shorter distance practice runs.

    Regarding the headline argument to ditch the 5-paragraph essay, I argue that it's essential to use template essay formats, i.e. 5-paragraph essay or some other, in order to scaffold novice writers' attempts while they learn & master the component skills that they must eventually coordinate unaided in order to write coherent, cohesive, effective essays in whichever genre of writing is required of them. Additionally, more advanced writers require different types of practice & to focus on more complex, coordinated aspects of writing. There's no one-size-fits-all technique to learning & teaching writing.

    Learning to write isn't simple, simple advice isn't helpful, & may, in some cases, be a hindrance.

    So there! :P

    --
    Debate is a form of harassment. Do not question my truth.
  27. Elitist Drivel by Artagel · · Score: 5, Insightful

    I tutor inner city children taught in the Chicago Public Schools. I wish most of them could execute a five-paragraph essay. Quite frankly, I wish I could get single paragraphs with topic sentences, explanatory sentences and summarization at the end. For many 6th graders, single sentences with grammar and spelling is beyond.

    For the best students, some of the hangup is indeed getting the first ideas down. These I teach to get it out (the vomit draft) and fix it later. Others can work with a "vomit outline" fix that, and write from there. But for half of them, going by complete formula would be a significant accomplishment.

    Alas, teaching 35 kids at a time means those city teachers have to teach at a level that includes most of the class. So our author may be right for some parents improving their children at home, but misses what public school has to do.

  28. Re: How does a five-paragraph essay and rules help by ChromeAeonuim · · Score: 1

    In my experience, that format was only used for kids. By the time we were teenagers, that format was long gone.

    Unfortunately, that's not true. They still use it on the GRE for college graduates looking to go on to grad school. Sure, the GRE is a classist scam that no one with a functioning brain takes seriously (so about half of academia), but that's still how you've got to do it, and depending on the program it might be important to know how to give them their stupid format.

  29. I get it by AndyKron · · Score: 1

    1 2 3 4 And in conclusion 1,2,3,4

  30. A Slip of the Keyboard by chthon · · Score: 1

    People need to read more Terry Pratchett, and learn his ideas on what is wrong with schools. Actually, his ideas can be summarized as "Don't trust schools to give you an education".

  31. Re:Indeed by reboot246 · · Score: 1

    "(He use to wear a suite earlier in his career)."

    Is correct spelling one of the rules you're allowed to break? There are two misspelled words in your sentence. Can you find them?

  32. Re:Indeed by Hognoxious · · Score: 1

    Then there's "Turtle Neck" (should be one word, not capitalized) which he apparently put in. Who knows where?

    Oh, and I doubt he meant "Ligature", unless we're talking about surgery. GP is an illiterate fucktard who should keep well away from anything about writing.

    --
    Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
  33. Has its place by Livius · · Score: 1

    Why isn't it like doing scales before playing music

    I think this is a very insightful analogy. It's a starting point, a kind of toy essay that helps with the basics. I also like the analogy give once or twice above with the "Hello, World!" program.

    And in the same way, if you can't play something besides scales or program something besides "Hello, world!", then the learning process is seriously off track.

  34. Five paragraph essays are meant for easy grading by Dr.+Spork · · Score: 1

    I don't think that on reflection, anyone can think that the five paragraph essay, with all kinds of rigid "and then you next sentence must say x" instructions, exists for the benefit of student writers. Such essays are the product of a time when teachers have become too cowardly to assign grades according to quality of work. All the rules are there as little mini-quests that the obedient student ticks off, and the non-compliant student can be given clear, objective reasons for that B-. Real writing teachers, the ones who help actual writers, can still give clear reasons why a certain attempt at writing sucks. What they can't do is give a recipe that, if followed slavishly enough, will produce successful writing. But that recipe is exactly what public school students, parents and administrators demand. In every class, the teacher must lay out a path to grind out an A, one that requires nothing but careful adherence to explicit rules. That's how we got to today's insipid five paragraph essays. Insight, talent, a strong voice, and other qualities that make good writing good are either not addressed, or the value - sometimes the very existence - of such things is explicitly denied. If the rules are rigid enough, then all the essays suck equally by literary and aesthetic standards, which gives frightened teachers the freedom to grade essays by checklists alone. Nobody cares that this isn't helping the students learn to write. What they're actually learning is to submit and obey arbitrary rules, in preparation for - presumably - the future workplace where they will do more of the same. If I taught high school, I'd make students read and try to duplicate the effect of Michel de Montaigne's Essays, the 14th century work that invented and named the genre. They would actually have fun!

  35. Reading by g01d4 · · Score: 2

    For the best students, some of the hangup is indeed getting the first ideas down.

    These kids need to be encouraged to read more. Reading can provide a set of templates for an initial draft. The rough analogy is that it's easier to code when you've got examples to build on.

  36. Re:But keep teaching them to return/tab... by careysub · · Score: 1

    Did a "wall of text" hurt you when you were young?

    Yes. Yes it did.

    --
    Starships were meant to fly, Hands up and touch the sky - Nicky Minaj
  37. reminds me... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    When I was in HS, one teacher assigning a paper had this policy of "any fact you include in an essay must have a proper citation or you're plagiarizing", even, I know because I asked, if you wrote the sentence "The War of 1812 began in the year 1812". Her opinion was unless it was something you directly personally witnessed, then you must have learned it from some source and therefore had to cite that source.

    The lesson I took away was that zero-tolerance/absolutist policies are always inherently stupid. The reality of professional writers is no, if it's a well known fact like, in short "common knowledge" or something that is self-evident by the very nature of the text, then there is zero need to provide a citation and in fact over citation just produces a morass of useless data that obscures the source of more important things that actually do deserve a citation.

    So that's the 5-paragraph essay. They took what was intended to be a starter's learning tool and turned it into the gospel truth and thence it got stupid.

    Frankly, I also personally find use of "In conclusion" to start a final paragraph to be stilted and infantile sounding.

  38. Ballmer by Hognoxious · · Score: 1

    What must die is saying "X must die" where X is not, in actual fact, alive.

    --
    Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
    1. Re:Ballmer by mentil · · Score: 1

      Hypocrisy must die!

      --
      Corruption is convincing someone that the selfless ideal is the same as their selfish ideal.
  39. Re:But keep teaching them to return/tab... by Carewolf · · Score: 1

    I get the gripe with the five sentence, five paragraph essay. Had it shoved down my throat in school. But isn't the point to break up ideas into logical blocks?

    That's the point of emphasis that's missing. How many sentences you use in a paragraph or how many blocks of ideas you need to argue your point is irrelevant.

    There's nothing wrong with the 5 paragraph essay- as long as that isn't the only writing construction taught. Saying the 5 paragraph essay is bad is like saying a Toyota Camry is bad because it can't tow a boat. It is good that students be taught different styles of construction.

    No it is like saying a go-cart is bad, because it is useless. The challenged raised was: Is there ANYTHING the 5 paragraph essay is good for. So far I haven't heard anything. It is an intermediate step at best before writing something useful.

  40. Re:But keep teaching them to return/tab... by Q-Hack! · · Score: 1

    The challenged raised was: Is there ANYTHING the 5 paragraph essay is good for. So far I haven't heard anything. It is an intermediate step at best before writing something useful.

    It's good for education. Most people will never utilize any real writing skill beyond what is taught in school. For those who are not good at essays, it gives them a good starting point. To me, the whole point of the article, is to have something to complain about. Nothing more.

    --
    Some days I get the sinking feeling Orwell was an optimist.
  41. Re: But keep teaching them to return/tab... by AvitarX · · Score: 1

    Getting the format you want for text with word us hardly any harder than latex.

    It takes about a minute to go through the paragraph styles and page setup.

    --
    Wow, sent an e-mail as suggested when clicking on "use classic" banner, and got a fast response that addressed my msg
  42. Re: But keep teaching them to return/tab... by AvitarX · · Score: 1

    It's not the same at all.

    Tab is a character, there's no reason to have a meaningless character at the start of every paragraph. The hard return is the important character that signals a new paragraph, not the tab.

    The tab is an anachronism like two spaces after a period from when we used monosoaced fonts.

    Tabs are for aligning things, not for paragraph starts. Hard return is for paragraph start.

    --
    Wow, sent an e-mail as suggested when clicking on "use classic" banner, and got a fast response that addressed my msg
  43. Two Paragraphs Missing : ) by BrendaEM · · Score: 1

    A 3 paragraph article about 5 paragraph articles, with 1 paragraph describing it. Ha!

    --
    https://www.youtube.com/c/BrendaEM
  44. Re: How does a five-paragraph essay and rules help by RazorSharp · · Score: 1

    For people such as those who belong to the slashdot crowd, the engineering method of paragraph construction is usually taught. There are other ways to teach paragraph structure, but that method seems to work best with STEM students. Basically, paragraph strategies revolve around devoloping an idea rather than number of sentences.

    --
    "From the depths of my skeptical and rationalist soul, I ask the Lord to protect me from California touchie-feeliedom."
  45. Parallels The Eight Legged Essay Format in China by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    The five paragraph essay is fine as a tool for teaching writing to students in elementary school, but it ought to be largely abandoned by the time these students enter high school and begin preparing for college. It's interesting to note the similarities between the restrictive rules associated with the five paragraph essay format and the Eight Legged Essay format that was for centuries the required form used in the Chinese Imperial Examinations, whose graduates were roughly equivalent for their time to what we might today associate with an undergraduate university degree. The problem in China was that eventually serious and mature scholars, either by choice or necessity, limited themselves almost exclusively to the Eight Legged Essay format which in many ways is trite and formulaic, rather like the five paragraph essay that we teach our students today. In fact, some have argued that it was at least in part responsible for the economic decline and stagnation of the Qing dynasty in 19th century China and the 100 years of humiliation at the hands of technologically superior western powers. The five paragraph essay is not a serious problem in that way today because it's fairly obvious that our best professional writers are not limiting themselves exclusively to that format or even using it at all. However, it's worth remembering that limiting the study of writing to formulaic output is definitely not the path to greatness and our students would do well to keep that in mind, even as they're pounding out five paragraph essays for their college entrance exams.

  46. Who is it this time - lizardmen or the illuminati? by Hognoxious · · Score: 1

    Aspie kids are stubborn & have a fetish for efficiency. Telling them they HAVE to do something the "hard" (inefficient) way

    I'm not seeing where it says that.

    From the horse's mouth:

    What is the Common Core?
    State education chiefs and governors in 48 states came together to develop the Common Core, a set of clear college- and career-ready standards for kindergarten through 12th grade in English language arts/literacy and mathematics.

    What guidance do the Common Core State Standards provide to teachers?
    The Common Core State Standards are a clear set of shared goals and expectations for the knowledge and skills students need in English language arts and mathematics at each grade level so they can be prepared to succeed in college, career, and life. The standards establish what students need to learn, but they do not dictate how teachers should teach. Teachers will devise their own lesson plans and curriculum, and tailor their instruction to the individual needs of the students in their classrooms.

    I suppose they would say that though, wouldn't they?

    --
    Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
  47. True. And so close to being funny by raymorris · · Score: 1

    > In my experience the shorter the post the better. Sometimes only a 1 liner needs to stated ... [goes on for several paragraphs]

    That would have been funny had you not also said:

    > Sometimes two paragraphs, sometimes more.
    > The problem with bullshit rules like this is that there are ALWAYS exceptions.

    True

  48. Re: But keep teaching them to return/tab... by TechyImmigrant · · Score: 1

    It becomes a nightmare when you have large document with structures hierarchical numbering and mathematical equations. That's why I switched to writing my book in Latex after briefly fighting with word. I use word every day at work and it often makes life difficult one way or the other.

    --
    I should use this sig to advertise my book ISBN-13 : 978-1501515132.
  49. Re: But keep teaching them to return/tab... by AvitarX · · Score: 1

    I've never had a problem with structure if it was done intentionally from the start, but it's a disaster for placing anything aside from text.

    Additionally it's lack of ligatures (maybe fixed by now) made it useless for a book.

    I still think teaching the typical person how to setup and style a consistent document with word is likely going to have better time to benefit than using Latex, most people won't ever get to that level or use it enough to keep fresh with what to do.

    --
    Wow, sent an e-mail as suggested when clicking on "use classic" banner, and got a fast response that addressed my msg
  50. If you don't train how to by Sqreater · · Score: 1

    Only half the problem. You have to train people to actually be able to READ such writing. You may as well be writing Greek otherwise.

    --
    E Proelio Veritas.
  51. Tweety Bird by spinitch · · Score: 1

    Concise.

  52. They taught form over content as usual by alternative_right · · Score: 2

    There is nothing wrong with the five-paragraph essay once you understand that it is a structure which expands to fit the topic as necessary. Trying to impose sentence limits is sort of like demanding that people write their thesis in haiku form.

    However, what we are seeing here is teachers dumbing down this formula in order to teach it to people who are congenitally unable to write. We keep dodging this in our egalitarian society, but: some are born to be writers, and some to be ditch diggers. Gosh, that sounds harsh, doesn't it? And yet it's reality.

    A better question would be to ask who should be in our English classes, and why we no longer teach English through classical literature, which shows application instead of dry theory alone. Maybe to look into these "reaction essays" which are basically congenial emoting about a topic.

    We teach form over content because not everyone can understand the content. As a result, we have generated a flood of nonsense from people who have no business writing.

  53. Re: But keep teaching them to return/tab... by fazig · · Score: 1

    Depends on the kind of book you want to write, I suppose.

    I used LaTeX for quite some time, because it was the preferred word processor in the engineering department of my University. Everyone used it and you were expected to use it as well. It's a good tool for writing scientific papers and similar things.
    But when I moved to writing fiction narratives as a hobby I found other (proprietary) software, like Scrivener, a lot more comfortable to work with. Programs like these have a GUI that is designed to aid writers in organizing and sorting their thoughts for writing fiction and non fiction. For someone who is new to using a word processor, this may also be a lot more intuitive.

  54. Starting with constraints is a good thing by GuB-42 · · Score: 2

    First, writing, like most things is rarely done without constraints. So you better get used to it.

    Second, having too much freedom when you are inexperienced is overwhelming. Thinking about structure, choice of words, spelling, and the arguments themselves is a lot. Taking away some variables make things a bit more manageable.

    The saying is: learn the rules, then learn how to break them. The 5 paragraph essay is the first part.

  55. Re: But keep teaching them to return/tab... by TechyImmigrant · · Score: 1

    Scrivener looked nice when I tried it. No one wants to read any fiction that I would write though.

    --
    I should use this sig to advertise my book ISBN-13 : 978-1501515132.
  56. Re: How does a five-paragraph essay and rules help by aberglas · · Score: 1

    How do you define an idea?

    Defining sentences is easy and accurate. Just count the full stops.

    Bear in mind that most teachers are not smart. My kids stick to the rules, why risk a bad mark?

  57. Re: But keep teaching them to return/tab... by AvitarX · · Score: 1

    First line indent is a paragraph style

    Space between paragraphs is a paragraph style.

    Neither of these aesthetic choices should be conveyed with characters.

    The hard return indicates a paragraph break. When you say newline character I assume that's what you mean, but the newline (soft return) of a word processor is not for paragraph breaks, it's for forcing a newline within a paragraph (probably should not be used in a word processor, but only in a more advanced layout program).

    If people learned to separate aesthetic choices (indents, line spacing, spacing between paragraphs) from their text, they would have an easier time with word processing, and it's likely a logical thought process that would benefit youngins too.

    --
    Wow, sent an e-mail as suggested when clicking on "use classic" banner, and got a fast response that addressed my msg
  58. The five paragraph essay is useless. by Jastiv · · Score: 1

    I recall doing the five paragraph essay for middle school, and then the first part of high school. It was pretty useless. The essays I wrote were pretty boring, uninspired, and I am not proud of them at all. I recall when I got to high school and I tried to make one for honors English, after I moved from the midwest to the east coast. I was told that it just wasn't going to cut it. After that I never wrote a five paragraph essay again, I figured if they didn't want them in school, they probably didn't want them anywhere, and I was right. I can't recall the last time I read a five paragraph essay either. Most books, blogs and articles do not follow that format because it does not make much sense, and probably does not get the point across either.