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Geek Horoscopes
Chops-Frozen-Water writes "Your horoscope for next year can be found on Salon. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll say, "Hey! I resemble that!" And remember, The Stars Are Right. " Just for the record, I am an Aries.
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this is first haiku
i have beaten everyone
moderate me down
I'm a Scorpio -- We're not superstitious.
rOD.
Rod Begbie done this, and he's not
What you will actually do: Toy with the rough edges of how much time you can spend on Slashdot while just barely meeting project deadlines.
But wasting ^H^H^H^H^H^H^H spending time on /. is my current project. :P
I mean, come on? Who really believes in horoscopes, anyway? It's such a load of unscientific garbage made up by a bunch of silly people looking at the stars and making things up. I think that it's a sad, sad sign of the times that we live in today that people, desperate for some guidance, look to such unfounded, useless things such as horoscopes. What a load of manure!
After all, it's a well known fact that the only true way to predict the future is tarot readings.
but for some truly delicious ones, check out The Onion. It's the section on the left under the pictures
Will this be the year you get an office that's not the server room?
:P
Salon is obviously out of it. I wish I could get an office in the server room! That would rock! Of course all that EMR would probably make me sterile or give me cancer or something, but hey, I've never really wanted kids anyway.
Oh, OK, it's occured to me that maybe they meant it in a negative way (ie, it would be bad if youre office was not the server room).
For libra:
Heads up! Hackers will exploit Y2K hoopla as the perfect diversion. While the rest of the world screams "fire," they're quietly gutting the corporate data cores and decrypting sensitive financial records on Linux-based parallel supercomputers. They will attempt to high-five each other, and miss. Don't worry, a Gemini firewall admin takes the heat.
That's exactly what I was talking about five minutes ago! It should be fun for non libras, too... and not just because clinton said not to.
I was born between late March and late April, but the horoscope doesn't fit at all. Must be because I'm not a geek. Or maybe my parents lied?
Is that they classify the entire population into 12 groups. This might have been resonable when the population of the earth was 36, but we cannot be reasonable expected to believe that there are 500 million scorpios who all are going to lose their keys on the same day.
And why did they have the date range listed beside the different signs? Would anyone that actually descided to read their horoscope then think to them selves "Wait! I don't know what my sign is!"
For that matter, does *anyone* in western civilization not know what sign they are anyway? Isn't it required knowledge to get a passport or something?
Shawn Poulsen (Fruan)
"On Slashdot, many obvious things are insightful." - Annonymous Coward, 2000/7/9
It seems Salon has learned of the Slashdot Beowulf tradition:
"While the rest of the world screams "fire," they're quietly gutting the corporate data cores and decrypting sensitive financial records on Linux-based parallel supercomputers..."
-----Transmission Complete----- If you want to email me...Don't
I'm glad that I'm not the only one suckered in by the Fry's "hall of temptations".
It says that my New Year's resolution is to "stop spending money on expensive electronic gadgets."
What! No! It can't be! I really want a DVD player! I have to have a Palm Pilot! I need another computer for my firewall!
I guess there's some redemption in the "What you will actually do" category: buy a spare Palm VII for the bathroom.
But y'know, a magazine for the bathroom beats a Palm VII every time. You can't tear out pages from a Palm if you run out of toilet paper.
. . . and yet strangely compelling . . .
Scorpio: "Your New Year's resolution: Stop spending money on expensive electronic gadgets."
Perhaps I should take this seriously . . . I mean, it can't be healthy saving up for a dual K7 box. They're not even out yet . . .
"What you will actually do: Buy a spare Palm VII for the bathroom."
Damn! I hadn't thought of that! Now I'll have to postpone that K7 box another month . . . at least, unless they don't come out till I've got the money together . . .
himi
Addicted? Me? Well, yes . . .
My very own DeCSS mirror.
Hey, as someone born on June 21, I don't know my sign. Some horoscopes classify me as a Gemini, others claim I'm a Cancer. I assume this happens with other people born on the edges of the categories. I guess like all systems, horoscopes have off-by-one errors.
Everyone knows that all you really need is a copy of fortune and you're set. I don't need some half-wit, just-out-of-undergrad, faux journalism major telling me what my life is all about when I can trust a computer program.
And of course the best way for a geek to read tarot is with a deck custom-built with him in mind.
My favorite cards:
Yes, these can be used just like real Tarot cards. Don't know how to use Tarot cards? I'd suggest starting with the alt.tarot FAQ, just like any good Internet junkie would.
Being a Scorpio myself, I do follow a very *very* close interpritation of a text-book Scorpio.. Read about the generic Scorpio personality, and that's me.. =]
On a side note, I somewhat agree, since only really once has a horroscope of mine "come true" But having that happen (In the place I read it, it was almost word for word what happened) was one of the trippiest (Is that a word?) things that ever happened to me. A few times I've had minor things "come true", but nothing worth being special.
Maybe we *do* control our own fate, and can sort-of warp events in some wild way to make other events happen because we believe they will happen. =] Just my thought.
Okay, so it's completely wrong on the horoscope bit, but the prediction is right. The last time I've been able to make it to the fiction section was on Amazon; I clicked on a link from IMDB and ordered the book right away (before procceeding to add two O'Reilly books to my cart). I *never* find the Real Books section of a Real Bookstore; the cute animal lithos always get me. :)
-Chris
Gullibility runs high for most signs ....
Bill Stewart
New Fast-Compression-only CPR http://preview.tinyurl.com/dy575ks
Wasn't that Kevin Mitnick's horoscope every single day for the past few years? Well, except for the "left for dead by the side of the road" thing.
Lots of website have that sort of thing going on.. Check this one out, but make sure your parents don't find out, as it is very evil. click this blind link
Isn't it strange that astrologists don't agree when Aquarius ends and Pisces starts?
In most horoscopes I see Aquarius ends 19th February, but in others 20th or 18th (like in
this one).
Fuck! I'm an aquarius! And odn't believe in astrology!!! BUT SHIT!!!! THIS ONE IS FUCKING SPOT ON!!! AAAHAHAHHHA I was rolling on the floor when I read it!!! How do they know I spend my work time on SLASHDOT!!! AAAHAHAHAHHAHAHH!!!!!
And fuck, my company was signing a deal at Goldman & Sachs last friday, and I'm a skeptics, and ... damn it, WHAT IS GOING ON????
and he's been out of school for quite a while... (OK, so he studied liberal arts.) Check out his serial novel Silicon Follies on Salon.com and his home page.
hello you person
haiku man no like to troll
so rare first haikus
Just curious, but i thought that NERDS wore pocket protectors. Isn't slashdot a GEEK oriented site?
Then again.. 'News for nerds, Stuff that matters."
Of course, one might argue that none of this matters.. so this whole post is redundant.
(How many of you actually wear pocket protectors??)
--
rJames.org - illustration
What you will actually do: Go to the grocery store and spot an attractive person in the produce section, following him or her around until they glare at you. Buy a quart of Starbucks ice cream and devour it alone in parking lot.
Been there, done that...
Heh-heh...sob, sob, sob...
No self-respecting scientific type (read: geek) has any trek with this anti-scientic mumbo-jumbo. I always enjoy it when people ask me my sign, because I can avoid them in the future.
Horoscopes are hogwash. The selection of a fortune cookie is sensitively attuned to the collective intuitions and borderhouse reach of the diners.
You guys are only reading the horoscope as relates to your sun sign (meaning, the sign the sun was in at the time of your birth - for those of you on the fringes, you can have your chart done to figure it out once and for all). The other planets and the moon, and the signs they were in, as well as the houses, the aspects, ad infinitum, all contribute to your personal horoscope.
Astrology isn't about predicting events, it's about going with the flow of energy, living in tune with the motions of the heavens, and seeking out the patterns in your life. Sounds like New Age hippie talk to most of you, I imagine, but like any religion or form of divination, you have to have a little blind faith. A real astrologer works mathematical equations and ponders the mysteries of life...those psychic hotlines give astrology a bad rap.
Here are some other useful links, ranging from the informative to the silly.
Real Astrology
Astrology Zone
JavaScopes
The Divine Creatrix in a Mortal Shell that stays Crunchy in Milk
The House Between - Original Sci-Fi Series
Basically, there is a day that is on the "cusp" of two signs. Some people born on that day are one sign, some are another. It has to do with the time and location of the person's birth, in that case. In fact, any astrology that goes beyond just your sun sign makes use of the time and place of birth as well as just the date (and I've found that the more-complex astrology has a degree of specificity and accuracy that the simple newspaper column lacks, but I still don't base my life on it).
Why do I know this? Mostly because I was born on the Libra/Scorpio cusp (October 23rd). I spent several years insisting I was a Scorpio because my mom's a Libra and we look sufficiently alike that for a while I heard "You must be Diane's daughter!" constantly and was sick of it and didn't want to be like mom. Then I had a natal chart done and well, it turns out I'm a Libra after all.
"Somebody exploded a letter-bomb today
I consider myself to not even have a star sign - such is my disgust at the way that astrologers and almost everyone else wants to label me depending on the range of days that my birthday falls in. When people ask what is my star sign and I say "No, don't have one" - you should see the puzzled expression on their face. Like their whole world is caving in because they didn't realise that you can do that .
Why is the universe here? -Well, where else would it be?
Mine says "Your New Year's resolution: Be more patient with non-technical people." When hell freezes over.
well see if any of them are true let me just pick some possible happenning out of a hat or use a random number generator to see who is more accurate :)
I'm a fencepost error, myself (vernal equinox). It makes it a little harder to use myself to convince people the stuff is bunk, since the system already distinguishes me as an exception.
"If one is really a superior person, the fact is likely to leak out without too much assistance" -- John Andrew Holmes
{\HPL
Sounds like Y2K's going to be worse than we thought. Time to memorize "Come All Ye Old Ones"...
}
Only the dead have seen the end of war.
Could've been scatman, chill brotha.
well, found the geek astrology dissapointing - yes, meant to be funny but not however I'm wondering are there many geeks out there like me who enjoy using astrology as another mindset - good astrology as a poetic and symbolic tool to relate your life to - I find when I read astrology it forces me out of locked mindsets I have about myself and about people around me - this is full astrology stuff of course - with proper planetary analysis and so on - reading a description of yourself or others really can force you to challenge your thinking - is that how I (he/she) really am (are)? - even if you don't agree the thought process prompted can be valuable any similar feelings?
To top it all of 2000 is the year of the Dragon! All of you non Dragon's beware.
haiku man first post
but cannot all of the time
haiku man has life
Decent translations of anything are hard to find. That aside, however, the system IS much more complex than most people realize. Where, when, and how you were born affect the 'readings', not to mention all kinds of other things. I, for example, am a capricorn - but because of where/when I was born, about half of the 'houses' are in aquarius. Also known in some circles as earth over water. How's that for a combo? *grin* However, the main point - today - of astrology is that it's FUN.
If you believe in it wholeheartedly without question, you are either a time traveler from long ago or a flake (or a new-age freak, but they usually fall under 'flake' anyway). However, it is a fun diversion, and one of the superstitions that is semi-acceptable in our society. It's ok to look up your horoscope avidly every day - especially if you talk about it with the prefix "I don't believe in this crap, but...."
We do need some superstitions - regimentalized ones called religion, sporadic ones that are still called superstitious, whatever they are, we need myths in our lives. Even those who are heavily atheist believe in something - themselves, the universe, Science, whatever. Without these beliefs we become soulless beasts, we lose our sense of wonder. There is almost always some form of illogical cling to something Bigger Than Ourselves. Lonely life without that, and horribly depressing.
On the note of these predictions in particular, they don't seem to think much of the Geek Set. Particularly not capricorns - they think we're all doomsaying, paranoid freaks with hyperactive egos and big mouths. Ok, so I've got the big mouth. *grin* And I do tend to argue myself blue in the face trying to get the last word in when I feel it's important. But I'm not paranoid, I swear!
They really are out to get me! I saw it on a button! I swear! *wicked grin*
-Elthia
Notice how the entries got shorter and shorter? Capricorn was a good 200 words, but Sagittarius was a measely 40 words!!
"The amount of intelligence in the universe is a constant. Unfortunately, the stupid population keeps on rising"
Did Hemos start on his New Year's Resolution early? /. now. It's just not the same.
I heard he was going to learn to spell. This may be
the first time he used "than" correctly ("better than cats"),
instead of using "then". I'm shocked. I may have to stop
reading
Can someone explain me the logic of this moderation? Troll???? WTF??
I consider myself a geek but I have never seen a Pocket Protector, let alone buy one. Slashdot should do a poll too find out if anyone actually does were them (whatever the hell the are!) and try to check out other things attributed to geeks (no social skills/no girlfriends etc.).
For me, at least, and the only other true geek I know, this is rubbish