1) Open bathroom door.
2) Unzip and yank out filled up pee spout.
3) Pee on white thing.
4) Giggle at the pink lady's hair all mussed up cuz she's flying about while surfing a whale's blowhole.
5) Think about how cool it'd be if those weren't butts but boobies instead.
6) Decide they are.
7) Decide, also, that the sandy desert picture to the right has nothing to do with peeing, but is, instead, a ploy by the bar owner to make me thirsty while I'm peeing.
8) Make sure nobody's about to sneak up on me and give me a hug (that really did happened once, but NEVER again. Shudder)
9) "Diabolical" is the word that I was trying to remember to describe step 7.
10) Realize I've been done for a minute or two and zip up, taking the utmost care I can muster not to damage the exit spout that beer comes out of (that's not all it does, ladies!)
11) Wash hands thoroughly, like a boss even, but then wipe them on my pants without realizing it (edit by sober me: I figure that, while not super efficient, it's better than just strolling out with spout-y hands).
12) Hope the next guy's less drunk than me, and capable of flushing that weirdo toilet with the awesome squigglies.
13) Order a beer and a shot.
I've never understood that quote. We "reinvent" the wheel all the time; more lug bolts, higher strength alloys, sexier cut lines, etc.
I suppose the quote is to point out that "round" is the best possible shape for "wheel", but there's nothing wrong with improving existing things (so long as it really is an improvement).
And then, there'll be the inevitable design flaw that crops up once the iCrapper becomes the market darling. And the cover-up of the design flaw. And the extensive silencing of forum discussion of the design flaw. And the "You're sitting on it wrong" email. Then the threatened lawsuits, and the announcement of free toilet seat covers to help remedy the problem.
It won't flush? You're shitting into it wrong. Push so the vein on the *other* side of your forehead head pops out, instead.
Art is simply creation; anything created with an intent to capture a feeling, or a moment, or perform a feat, or any other "stamp" on existence is "art". That said, art that is typically considered "good" is aesthetic, evokes emotion, and makes a statement. There are, of course, many ideas on what makes art "good", but artistic creations are the ultimate form of "if you don't like it, don't view it."
Lastly, you can get into realms where things are offensive, dangerous, or downright obscene, and projects like this are often started for that sole reaction in the overall population. To me, that isn't art, though to others, it just may be. It'll never be an easy thing to determine.
I agree with you that some things simply don't take much talent or artistic creativity, but narrowing the definition of the word "art" would be like changing the word "life" or "up". Art is a very, very broad term for a reason.
More generally, there's something wrong with our infrastructure if Microsoft's failures have the power to cost a company 3 million dollars in lost revenue. Of course, losing "3 million dollars in lost revenue" is just management's way of screeching "Fix it fix it fix it fix it!!". Get caught up too deep in "lost revenue" and you'll function like a dying chicken instead of a sysadmin.
Shit happens, and preparing for shit to happen is probably the single best investment that can be made. Too bad management only sees lost revenue in hindsight, and not preserved availability in foresight. Between practicing as many of the old tasks in Win 2003 and Win 2008, you could have prepared for disaster, or preparing a redundant box using 2003 you could fall back on in the case of a dire emergency, you could have saved 3 million bucks, but the 2 grand or whatever it would have cost was "prohibitive". Shrug. Ain't my lost revenue.
Hmm, I dunno... if you think about this from the "intentionally screwing up" point of view:
-This would allow them to put in new features they want to release, getting people used to them, without having fully polished functionality. Basically: get it out, get it seen, gather feedback, and work on changes for Win 9 (or Win 8 SP1).
-It also allows them to do exactly what you said, pushing people toward change, but without the risk of losing all that much. New PCs will have Win 8; if people don't like it, they can go back to Win 7, but that's on the customer to do so.
I agree, I don't think they want this, or any other, product to fail (and it probably won't "fail", even if people hate it, unless using metrics relative to Win XP or 7 sales). They probably do expect it to not do as well as they'd like at first, except in select industries where it'll shine.
Maybe it's like how a grocery store can take a relative loss on milk to sell you eggs. It all comes down to: "Are implementing these changes now going to increase long-term profits more than not implementing these changes now, even after counting in a lackluster release?" If some beancounter says yes, then you do it.
You know, I truly, honestly, un-ironically, and sadly have no idea if I was or not. Had I taken advanced calculus, we could have had a more intelligent conversation about this topic, instead of one of us looking and feeling very, very foolish (hint: it's not you).
So, avoid my mistake! Take advanced math, fer cryin out loud! I've already filled the dumb country bumpkin role; get yer own skillset.
No, no, no; you're not hipstering correctly. It's not a TV, it's a large monitor for watching the Colbert Report, while pretending there were special jokes you only get when you have your fingerstache up.
For best results, you scratch the shit outta the case, load it up with stickers of dubious wit, remove the channel up and volume down buttons (replace with differently colored thumbtacks, if desired), and attach the base using duct tape and.... I dunno, maybe a rubber band or an old pizza box or a sock or some shit. Whatever is the most ironically pretentious non-pretentious solution to a problem you just made up.
Also, and this is the most important part: you have to say it's made by Sansumg or Snoy or Pandasunset or Whaddafuckteevee, which is a manufacturer you have never heard of.
I bow to your superior experience, definitely, and I've never done this in a programming environment. However, I can't help but think it's valuable to know the math behind reality when attempting to simulate it. I wish I knew more, and someday, I will. Probably gonna put my girls into college at the same time I go back. Sigh.
You're looking at this as half-full. In addition to limiting graduates, it makes sure the people who want this degree really do want it, and aren't just in it for the big entry-level bucks.
If you can hack high level math and physics classes, you'll do well to have earned your shiny new degree. The degree is WORTH more at that point, both literally and figuratively.
How about something as simple as moving a virtual object a) from point A) to point B) while correctly calculating the gravitational effects of objects b) and c)? Classic calculus (I think; I never took enough of it, to be honest, and I regret it).
While I agree with you, there's really no reason (none!) not to take the advanced math classes in high school, or better yet, college, at some point.
1) What are you gonna take instead? A foreign language? A basketball class? You're gonna have a ton of electives; Take advanced math.
2) What if you get an amazing offer that you're not prepared for because you never took intermediate or advanced math classes? That sucks the suck of missed opportunity. Take advanced math.
3) Advanced math skills could allow you to make elegant and speedy algorithms that run circles around a kludged in binary search or some garbage. Having higher level math skills gives you a TON more versatility, even if you rarely use them. Take advanced math.
4) Calculus and the like goes hand in hand with physics, including motion, water dynamics, space calculations, particle behaviors, etc. Not to mention simulations. All of those would be AMAZINGLY useful for game programming, (or my dream job: creating advanced simulations of space and celestial behaviors). Take advanced math.
Speaking more from experience, I wish I'd taken more math in addition to my CS courses. I ended up having kids pretty young and started working in IT, moving finally to running a print shop, which I enjoy, but every single day I run across amazing opportunities for high level engineering and/or programming, and I don't have the chops to apply. Trust me, take advanced math while you can.
The end summary: there's no reason not to, and all the reasons in the world to get it done, since it's only going to help you.
"I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly bawked out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something delicious has happened."
FTFY
Yup. I had the unfortunate chance to study the various options for myself, finally choosing to just pay my debts myself, instead, since a bankruptcy is so invasive and expensive. Student loans are choking me, but those ones are unassailable by bankruptcy, anyway. The chapters are similar for businesses, but an order of magnitude more complicated to file, due to the various assets and debts a business owns, compared to an individual. If interested, here's what I found:
7 is a "cut and run", admitting total inability to pay, wiping all un-secured debts (credit cards, medical bills, etc but NOT secured debts like student loans, mortgages, or liens). They take anything considered an asset, too, such as a second car, etc. They leave you a total value allowance to keep some of your stuff, and take the rest to sell off. The recommendation I got was to sell off these items myself prior to filing bankruptcy, applying the proceeds to secured debts, or else I'd lose them to the unsecured debt settlement. 11, on the other hand, is a "buy a few years to pay off debts, at a (hopefully) reduced rate". You get to keep most everything, and get the chance to settle or negotiate reduced payments, but every creditor gets a piece.
Chapter 13 is a kind of the weird one: it's basically a court-appointed debt consolidation, with weirdo or specific rules set by the court. It's usually used to prevent foreclosure during repayment, though the foreclosure resumes at the end of the bankruptcy repayment time (assuming the home isn't brought out of foreclosure proceedings in the meantime). It also lets you discharge (wipe clean) certain debts that 7 doesn't allow.
Then you have Chapter 12, which is only for farmers and fishermen. From what I gather, it's an 11 with much better repayment and negotiation options options.
Lastly, a 7 is cheaper to file than an 11, or a 13. Amusingly, the lawyer will only bill you AFTER the bankruptcy.;)
Half of all coffee shop transactions are still cash, believe it or not. It's easy to tell by the way my girlfriend's tips are split out; on a good day, she'll get a 50/50 split between cash and credit card tips.
In fact, since Starbucks doesn't allow CC tips, only cash tips, this will actually hurt their baristas badly, who usually make minimum wage (or even far less, in some shops/chains) plus tips.
The interaction would still be there for those that want it. Coffee shops have historically been a place where you can sit and chill, and if the barista is friendly (and you're not a dick) when things slow down you'll have your chance to chat.
Besides, if you are attempting to chat and have a grand old time expecting fluffy feelings of human interaction when there's a line to the door, you're simply an asshole, just like those folks that don't know what they want to order in a busy bar.
Most coffee shops are NOT like the one you worked at. My girlfriend is a barista, and has been at several large chain shops. Cross-training is a requirement.
Perhaps you're thinking of Starbucks during Shultz' retirement (which ended up being a sabbatical, as he came back to save the shareholders). It's still the Walmart of coffee, but in an emergency, a well run store won't just go retarded (perhaps, any further retarded) on you.
Uh, speed? The benefits are obvious. Any time a customer can walk into a store, and have the store know exactly what they want, it's faster.
Think of it as similar to phoning an order in prior to going in. You just float to the pickup counter, pay, and leave. Much as the baristas will miss out on flirting with you, from a business standpoint it's a huge win, assuming they can pull it of even 10% of the time.
The only change will be that I'll have a team of half a person (for now, but eventually 3 people). We've got disconnects between management and junior staff right now, so I definitely want to try to create a more teamlike atmosphere for my department
In this case, delegate *everything* that is appropriate to delegate. You've shown you're reliable, intelligent, and good in a pinch. Now train your new team to be just like you've been, and watch how satisfying it becomes for everyone involved. It's actually really fun to take a green team, train them to succeed at tasks that really do matter, and help them perform. This is the part of management I really miss; much of the rest was boring (paperwork) or occasionally disheartening (terminations and exit interviews).
If you are being promoted to "Director" level, you have more to think about than simply "is this appropriate?" or "am I going to lose my geek cred?"
You need to determine if your new position is going to be one of true decision making authority, with high level direction and little or no socialization with your team (more of a high level director role), or if the position is more of a classic on-hands leadership role where you can walk amongst your team as sort of a "team captain" (more of a manager role).
If you feel like you'll be among your team as a leader, but still considered a peer (albeit a "boss" peer), then business casual is probably fine; maybe even the same way you've always dressed. However, if your new position enforces that weird disconnect between your employees (they are no longer peers, but valued employees) then you need to dress as professionally as possible, and leave all of your "flair" out of the deal. Save that for your office trinkets, or leave it at home. Who are you "one" of now? Dress like those people do.
I don't envy the move to a "director" position for these reasons; while it's an interesting career move, you really do have to set yourself apart through dress and behavior. Your peers will become the other directors, not the team you're managing, and you need to come across as competent in their eyes, too.
Whatever you decide to do, take care of your new team and be a good boss. That's more important than clothes.
Slashdot Mirror
Nah. I'd probably just pee on it.
1) Open bathroom door.
2) Unzip and yank out filled up pee spout.
3) Pee on white thing.
4) Giggle at the pink lady's hair all mussed up cuz she's flying about while surfing a whale's blowhole.
5) Think about how cool it'd be if those weren't butts but boobies instead.
6) Decide they are.
7) Decide, also, that the sandy desert picture to the right has nothing to do with peeing, but is, instead, a ploy by the bar owner to make me thirsty while I'm peeing.
8) Make sure nobody's about to sneak up on me and give me a hug (that really did happened once, but NEVER again. Shudder)
9) "Diabolical" is the word that I was trying to remember to describe step 7.
10) Realize I've been done for a minute or two and zip up, taking the utmost care I can muster not to damage the exit spout that beer comes out of (that's not all it does, ladies!)
11) Wash hands thoroughly, like a boss even, but then wipe them on my pants without realizing it (edit by sober me: I figure that, while not super efficient, it's better than just strolling out with spout-y hands).
12) Hope the next guy's less drunk than me, and capable of flushing that weirdo toilet with the awesome squigglies.
13) Order a beer and a shot.
That's how I do public restrooms, sir.
I've never understood that quote. We "reinvent" the wheel all the time; more lug bolts, higher strength alloys, sexier cut lines, etc.
I suppose the quote is to point out that "round" is the best possible shape for "wheel", but there's nothing wrong with improving existing things (so long as it really is an improvement).
And then, there'll be the inevitable design flaw that crops up once the iCrapper becomes the market darling. And the cover-up of the design flaw. And the extensive silencing of forum discussion of the design flaw. And the "You're sitting on it wrong" email. Then the threatened lawsuits, and the announcement of free toilet seat covers to help remedy the problem.
It won't flush? You're shitting into it wrong. Push so the vein on the *other* side of your forehead head pops out, instead.
Best part? The tank will be sealed, so you have to replace the entire unit when it runs out of water.
I think your quote is quite apropos in this case.
Art is simply creation; anything created with an intent to capture a feeling, or a moment, or perform a feat, or any other "stamp" on existence is "art". That said, art that is typically considered "good" is aesthetic, evokes emotion, and makes a statement. There are, of course, many ideas on what makes art "good", but artistic creations are the ultimate form of "if you don't like it, don't view it."
Lastly, you can get into realms where things are offensive, dangerous, or downright obscene, and projects like this are often started for that sole reaction in the overall population. To me, that isn't art, though to others, it just may be. It'll never be an easy thing to determine.
I agree with you that some things simply don't take much talent or artistic creativity, but narrowing the definition of the word "art" would be like changing the word "life" or "up". Art is a very, very broad term for a reason.
More generally, there's something wrong with our infrastructure if Microsoft's failures have the power to cost a company 3 million dollars in lost revenue. Of course, losing "3 million dollars in lost revenue" is just management's way of screeching "Fix it fix it fix it fix it!!". Get caught up too deep in "lost revenue" and you'll function like a dying chicken instead of a sysadmin.
Shit happens, and preparing for shit to happen is probably the single best investment that can be made. Too bad management only sees lost revenue in hindsight, and not preserved availability in foresight. Between practicing as many of the old tasks in Win 2003 and Win 2008, you could have prepared for disaster, or preparing a redundant box using 2003 you could fall back on in the case of a dire emergency, you could have saved 3 million bucks, but the 2 grand or whatever it would have cost was "prohibitive". Shrug. Ain't my lost revenue.
Hmm, I dunno... if you think about this from the "intentionally screwing up" point of view:
-This would allow them to put in new features they want to release, getting people used to them, without having fully polished functionality. Basically: get it out, get it seen, gather feedback, and work on changes for Win 9 (or Win 8 SP1).
-It also allows them to do exactly what you said, pushing people toward change, but without the risk of losing all that much. New PCs will have Win 8; if people don't like it, they can go back to Win 7, but that's on the customer to do so.
I agree, I don't think they want this, or any other, product to fail (and it probably won't "fail", even if people hate it, unless using metrics relative to Win XP or 7 sales). They probably do expect it to not do as well as they'd like at first, except in select industries where it'll shine.
Maybe it's like how a grocery store can take a relative loss on milk to sell you eggs. It all comes down to: "Are implementing these changes now going to increase long-term profits more than not implementing these changes now, even after counting in a lackluster release?" If some beancounter says yes, then you do it.
Monkeysphere. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunbar's_number
You know, I truly, honestly, un-ironically, and sadly have no idea if I was or not. Had I taken advanced calculus, we could have had a more intelligent conversation about this topic, instead of one of us looking and feeling very, very foolish (hint: it's not you).
So, avoid my mistake! Take advanced math, fer cryin out loud! I've already filled the dumb country bumpkin role; get yer own skillset.
No, no, no; you're not hipstering correctly. It's not a TV, it's a large monitor for watching the Colbert Report, while pretending there were special jokes you only get when you have your fingerstache up.
For best results, you scratch the shit outta the case, load it up with stickers of dubious wit, remove the channel up and volume down buttons (replace with differently colored thumbtacks, if desired), and attach the base using duct tape and.... I dunno, maybe a rubber band or an old pizza box or a sock or some shit. Whatever is the most ironically pretentious non-pretentious solution to a problem you just made up.
Also, and this is the most important part: you have to say it's made by Sansumg or Snoy or Pandasunset or Whaddafuckteevee, which is a manufacturer you have never heard of.
I bow to your superior experience, definitely, and I've never done this in a programming environment. However, I can't help but think it's valuable to know the math behind reality when attempting to simulate it. I wish I knew more, and someday, I will. Probably gonna put my girls into college at the same time I go back. Sigh.
If you never learn more than you need then you'll never know if you have learned as much as you need.
Best quote ever. Kudos.
You're looking at this as half-full. In addition to limiting graduates, it makes sure the people who want this degree really do want it, and aren't just in it for the big entry-level bucks.
If you can hack high level math and physics classes, you'll do well to have earned your shiny new degree. The degree is WORTH more at that point, both literally and figuratively.
How about something as simple as moving a virtual object a) from point A) to point B) while correctly calculating the gravitational effects of objects b) and c)? Classic calculus (I think; I never took enough of it, to be honest, and I regret it).
Also: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stochastic_calculus
Would be pretty awesome to have the chops to seed a random field.
While I agree with you, there's really no reason (none!) not to take the advanced math classes in high school, or better yet, college, at some point.
1) What are you gonna take instead? A foreign language? A basketball class? You're gonna have a ton of electives; Take advanced math.
2) What if you get an amazing offer that you're not prepared for because you never took intermediate or advanced math classes? That sucks the suck of missed opportunity. Take advanced math.
3) Advanced math skills could allow you to make elegant and speedy algorithms that run circles around a kludged in binary search or some garbage. Having higher level math skills gives you a TON more versatility, even if you rarely use them. Take advanced math.
4) Calculus and the like goes hand in hand with physics, including motion, water dynamics, space calculations, particle behaviors, etc. Not to mention simulations. All of those would be AMAZINGLY useful for game programming, (or my dream job: creating advanced simulations of space and celestial behaviors). Take advanced math.
Speaking more from experience, I wish I'd taken more math in addition to my CS courses. I ended up having kids pretty young and started working in IT, moving finally to running a print shop, which I enjoy, but every single day I run across amazing opportunities for high level engineering and/or programming, and I don't have the chops to apply. Trust me, take advanced math while you can.
The end summary: there's no reason not to, and all the reasons in the world to get it done, since it's only going to help you.
"I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly bawked out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something delicious has happened." FTFY
Yup. I had the unfortunate chance to study the various options for myself, finally choosing to just pay my debts myself, instead, since a bankruptcy is so invasive and expensive. Student loans are choking me, but those ones are unassailable by bankruptcy, anyway. The chapters are similar for businesses, but an order of magnitude more complicated to file, due to the various assets and debts a business owns, compared to an individual. If interested, here's what I found:
;)
7 is a "cut and run", admitting total inability to pay, wiping all un-secured debts (credit cards, medical bills, etc but NOT secured debts like student loans, mortgages, or liens). They take anything considered an asset, too, such as a second car, etc. They leave you a total value allowance to keep some of your stuff, and take the rest to sell off. The recommendation I got was to sell off these items myself prior to filing bankruptcy, applying the proceeds to secured debts, or else I'd lose them to the unsecured debt settlement. 11, on the other hand, is a "buy a few years to pay off debts, at a (hopefully) reduced rate". You get to keep most everything, and get the chance to settle or negotiate reduced payments, but every creditor gets a piece.
Chapter 13 is a kind of the weird one: it's basically a court-appointed debt consolidation, with weirdo or specific rules set by the court. It's usually used to prevent foreclosure during repayment, though the foreclosure resumes at the end of the bankruptcy repayment time (assuming the home isn't brought out of foreclosure proceedings in the meantime). It also lets you discharge (wipe clean) certain debts that 7 doesn't allow.
Then you have Chapter 12, which is only for farmers and fishermen. From what I gather, it's an 11 with much better repayment and negotiation options options.
Lastly, a 7 is cheaper to file than an 11, or a 13. Amusingly, the lawyer will only bill you AFTER the bankruptcy.
Half of all coffee shop transactions are still cash, believe it or not. It's easy to tell by the way my girlfriend's tips are split out; on a good day, she'll get a 50/50 split between cash and credit card tips.
In fact, since Starbucks doesn't allow CC tips, only cash tips, this will actually hurt their baristas badly, who usually make minimum wage (or even far less, in some shops/chains) plus tips.
The interaction would still be there for those that want it. Coffee shops have historically been a place where you can sit and chill, and if the barista is friendly (and you're not a dick) when things slow down you'll have your chance to chat.
Besides, if you are attempting to chat and have a grand old time expecting fluffy feelings of human interaction when there's a line to the door, you're simply an asshole, just like those folks that don't know what they want to order in a busy bar.
Most coffee shops are NOT like the one you worked at. My girlfriend is a barista, and has been at several large chain shops. Cross-training is a requirement.
Perhaps you're thinking of Starbucks during Shultz' retirement (which ended up being a sabbatical, as he came back to save the shareholders). It's still the Walmart of coffee, but in an emergency, a well run store won't just go retarded (perhaps, any further retarded) on you.
Uh, speed? The benefits are obvious. Any time a customer can walk into a store, and have the store know exactly what they want, it's faster.
Think of it as similar to phoning an order in prior to going in. You just float to the pickup counter, pay, and leave. Much as the baristas will miss out on flirting with you, from a business standpoint it's a huge win, assuming they can pull it of even 10% of the time.
There sure is!
Not only is there a law enforcement agency, but he's a pretty good guy, too.
So, they borrowed AOL's model, yeah?
The only change will be that I'll have a team of half a person (for now, but eventually 3 people). We've got disconnects between management and junior staff right now, so I definitely want to try to create a more teamlike atmosphere for my department
In this case, delegate *everything* that is appropriate to delegate. You've shown you're reliable, intelligent, and good in a pinch. Now train your new team to be just like you've been, and watch how satisfying it becomes for everyone involved. It's actually really fun to take a green team, train them to succeed at tasks that really do matter, and help them perform. This is the part of management I really miss; much of the rest was boring (paperwork) or occasionally disheartening (terminations and exit interviews).
If you are being promoted to "Director" level, you have more to think about than simply "is this appropriate?" or "am I going to lose my geek cred?"
You need to determine if your new position is going to be one of true decision making authority, with high level direction and little or no socialization with your team (more of a high level director role), or if the position is more of a classic on-hands leadership role where you can walk amongst your team as sort of a "team captain" (more of a manager role).
If you feel like you'll be among your team as a leader, but still considered a peer (albeit a "boss" peer), then business casual is probably fine; maybe even the same way you've always dressed. However, if your new position enforces that weird disconnect between your employees (they are no longer peers, but valued employees) then you need to dress as professionally as possible, and leave all of your "flair" out of the deal. Save that for your office trinkets, or leave it at home. Who are you "one" of now? Dress like those people do.
I don't envy the move to a "director" position for these reasons; while it's an interesting career move, you really do have to set yourself apart through dress and behavior. Your peers will become the other directors, not the team you're managing, and you need to come across as competent in their eyes, too.
Whatever you decide to do, take care of your new team and be a good boss. That's more important than clothes.