+1, Maximum Hilarity. I love you! I would mod you up myself if the janitors hadn't castrated my account so very, very long ago...
Re:We use Canadian dollars in the US, too
on
Greenbacks No More
·
· Score: -1
+1, Maximum Hilarity. I love you! I would mod you up myself if the janitors hadn't castrated my account so very, very long ago...
Re:Asians DON'T look alike to non-asians
on
Greenbacks No More
·
· Score: -1
Actually, the Japanese are incredibly racist about all non-Japanese. Now that apartheid in South Africa has been for the most part eradticated, Japan and Israel are the two most racist states on Earth. In both of those countries, the concept of a non-Japanese or non-Israeli Jew (respectively) being elected to public office is beyond laughable; it is impossible -- not only because of the racism of the populations, but because the goverments actively persecute immigrants to ensure that the voting populations remain homogenous. Sure, the US is fucked-up, but when you look at countries like Japan and Israel, you have to admit that we've made more progess in social equality than most.
We're so sorry that our individualism offends you, little man! Now please, continue working according to your ability and consuming according to your need before the centrally-managed Gov't Co. discovers that you are posting on a subversive and unauthorized free-speech outlet! You don't like attle prods, no you don't! Tee hee!
Europe was also interested in socialism, ethnic cleansing, gestapo secret police forces, loss of personal privacy rights, and domestic spying "way before the US." Not everything that comes out of that wasteland is such a great idea, you, you... you terrorist! Just wait 'til I sick John Ashcroft on your traitor ass!
Okay, having bills of different colors makes a bit of sense, but different sizes? That would make my wallet all imbalanced. Brits don't have to worry about such things because they don't care about personal appearance -- what? Oh, really? Well, they mustn't care much
And as for British misspelling, I think that we should say "fuck you" to those Limey bastards and start calling the language "American." We're the world's sole superpower. We can do what we want. And if the British don't like it, well, they can run off and cry to their socialist Eurotrash buddies, who I hear just this week managed to get a EuroFighter off the ground. Good job, "mates!"
The British "military" will be easy to decimate, and luckily we won't have to worry about resistance from the British populace, who are both docile (like sheep!) and unarmed. I mean, if a few shamrock-smoking IRA pussies are enough to make a Brit wet his trousers, it would probably only take a brigade of America's Slayer-fueled necro-wuss child murderers to get those pale, splay-toothed whiners under control.
And thanks to the British government's anti-privacy cryptography legislation, the takeover of Britain's business and economic communities would be simple -- that is, if said community were worth the effort.
Britain will be officially conquered within 72 hours of the declaration of war. )I would say 48 hours, except for the damn time difference. We Americans like to get a full night's sleep!) And what will become of your fucked-up little island then? It's not quite worthy of statehood, so I expect that it will become a prison colony. This option is attractive because in the event of a prison escape, the criminals would be quite far away from the law-abiding citizens of the US. Any escaped criminals will be forced to emigrate to Europe, and who knows, maybe if enough of them escape they'll have a positive influence on those neutered socialist clowns.
SO... The few British persons who recognize the truth in my words ought to start suggesting that their countrymen take the language's official name-change gracefully. You'll just have to accept that your people's version of the language is withered and dead, just like your empire and your potential influence in international politics.
I'm so glad I'm not from a lame country like yours! It must be difficult living day-to-day, knowing that you are a worthless nothing. Cheers, "mate!"
Goodbye, and good riddance.
on
OpenMosix
·
· Score: -1
Slashdot died in 1999, and, only now, has it realized that it is dead. The Slashdot janitors have finally proven themselves to be children that we trolls always knew they were. The sun rises, the day begins anew, and the posters and moderators slowly wander out of Slash-town, blinking in the glorious sunlight. They shout, tears streaming down their pale cheeks in happiness, "I can see again... how could I have wasted so much of my time, for so long, on such a crappy weblog?"
The janitors stumble out of their Greek bathhouse, unable to believe their eyes as the banner advertising revenue hits the ground hard, like a WTC roofdiver. "What will be do now," they ask. "VA Software is a sham, and this awful Perl script was all we had. Shall we be forced to go out into the Real World, where our lack of social skills and laughable technical skills will force us to learn Visual Basic.NET in order to eke out a simple living?"
It will be difficult for the janitors to survive in a world not built upon hypocrisy and unwarranted arrogance. Malda still doesn't see what's wrong with dissing the MPAA while hyping DVDs, slandering the RIAA while pirating MP3s, and mocking Micosoft while playing games on a Windows 98 machine. Michael still doesn't understand that large corporations make the world go 'round, and will only find refuge in a backwoods white-supremacist militia, where his anti-government attitude and NAZI censorship experience will be heartily accepted. JonKatz doesn't understand the fact that he can't write, but that doesn't mean he won't get plenty of experience scrawling requests for help on pieces of cardboard with a magic marker. (Such signs are highly valued by the homeless population, for they are believed to increase the chance of donation while wandering the highway median by almost 7%.) Jeff doesn't understand that there just aren't many "armchair scientist" employment opportunities available in today's world. And Gay Nik, poor fellow, will finally have to come to terms with the fact that *BSD is dying.
Only Pater, who has enough energy and heat reserves stored in his belly to survive the next ice age, will live to see the Itanium released. He will be employed as a clown at an amusement park for disabled children. But he will be a sad clown, forever doomed to remember his friends and the stupid way in which they wasted their lives. "God, why have you forsaken me," he will scream, "why am I alone, doomed to wander the earth like a shade, remembering the sins of my compatriots? How I crave the sweet release of death! For to burn for all eternity in Hades with Malda by my side cannot hurt as much as living without him!" (One of the disabled children will then shit on Pater's floppy clown shoe.)
AOL chatrooms, instant messaging applications, USENET, and other weblogs will soak up Slashdot's newly forum-less users, who will rediscover the joy of communicating without the constant worry of being censored by someone who disagrees with them. The evilest users, unable to abandon their moderator ways, may become IRC operators, but are easily ignored.
Slashdot, you will not be missed. From the very first days of your existence, you were doomed to an anticlimactic end. Your fame and userbase are unwarranted. Your success was undeserved. You have fucked your users in so many ways, from editorial moderation abuse to allowing Katz to profit from users' comments, that it is unbelievable that you were able to stay alive as long as you did. Perhaps it is a testament to the parasitic, viral nature of the GPL, and the blindness of the Cheap Software community. But, enough -- we know your crimes. The real mistake was not shutting this shithole down when it died in 1999. Since then, it has only rotted and festered and stank as the trolls ate its carcass. You will never be able to walk in public without people pointing and laughing as recognize you and remember your embarrassing Internet identity.
The things you have done are unforgivable, and finally your bad karma has returned to take its toll. Slashdot is doomed to the ultimate punishment: it will not be remembered well. You won't burn out; you will fade away, and the very last memory of your existence will probably be a goatse.cx hyperlink.
Slashdot died in 1999, and, only now, has it realized that it is dead. The Slashdot janitors have finally proven themselves to be children that we trolls always knew they were. The sun rises, the day begins anew, and the posters and moderators slowly wander out of Slash-town, blinking in the glorious sunlight. They shout, tears streaming down their pale cheeks in happiness, "I can see again... how could I have wasted so much of my time, for so long, on such a crappy weblog?"
The janitors stumble out of their Greek bathhouse, unable to believe their eyes as the banner advertising revenue hits the ground hard, like a WTC roofdiver. "What will be do now," they ask. "VA Software is a sham, and this awful Perl script was all we had. Shall we be forced to go out into the Real World, where our lack of social skills and laughable technical skills will force us to learn Visual Basic.NET in order to eke out a simple living?"
It will be difficult for the janitors to survive in a world not built upon hypocrisy and unwarranted arrogance. Malda still doesn't see what's wrong with dissing the MPAA while hyping DVDs, slandering the RIAA while pirating MP3s, and mocking Micosoft while playing games on a Windows 98 machine. Michael still doesn't understand that large corporations make the world go 'round, and will only find refuge in a backwoods white-supremacist militia, where his anti-government attitude and NAZI censorship experience will be heartily accepted. JonKatz doesn't understand the fact that he can't write, but that doesn't mean he won't get plenty of experience scrawling requests for help on pieces of cardboard with a magic marker. (Such signs are highly valued by the homeless population, for they are believed to increase the chance of donation while wandering the highway median by almost 7%.) Jeff doesn't understand that there just aren't many "armchair scientist" employment opportunities available in today's world. And Gay Nik, poor fellow, will finally have to come to terms with the fact that *BSD is dying.
Only Pater, who has enough energy and heat reserves stored in his belly to survive the next ice age, will live to see the Itanium released. He will be employed as a clown at an amusement park for disabled children. But he will be a sad clown, forever doomed to remember his friends and the stupid way in which they wasted their lives. "God, why have you forsaken me," he will scream, "why am I alone, doomed to wander the earth like a shade, remembering the sins of my compatriots? How I crave the sweet release of death! For to burn for all eternity in Hades with Malda by my side cannot hurt as much as living without him!" (One of the disabled children will then shit on Pater's floppy clown shoe.)
AOL chatrooms, instant messaging applications, USENET, and other weblogs will soak up Slashdot's newly forum-less users, who will rediscover the joy of communicating without the constant worry of being censored by someone who disagrees with them. The evilest users, unable to abandon their moderator ways, may become IRC operators, but are easily ignored.
Slashdot, you will not be missed. From the very first days of your existence, you were doomed to an anticlimactic end. Your fame and userbase are unwarranted. Your success was undeserved. You have fucked your users in so many ways, from editorial moderation abuse to allowing Katz to profit from users' comments, that it is unbelievable that you were able to stay alive as long as you did. Perhaps it is a testament to the parasitic, viral nature of the GPL, and the blindness of the Cheap Software community. But, enough -- we know your crimes. The real mistake was not shutting this shithole down when it died in 1999. Since then, it has only rotted and festered and stank as the trolls ate its carcass. You will never be able to walk in public without people pointing and laughing as recognize you and remember your embarrassing Internet identity.
The things you have done are unforgivable, and finally your bad karma has returned to take its toll. Slashdot is doomed to the ultimate punishment: it will not be remembered well. You won't burn out; you will fade away, and the very last memory of your existence will probably be a goatse.cx hyperlink.
Slashdot died in 1999, and, only now, has it realized that it is dead. The Slashdot janitors have finally proven themselves to be children that we trolls always knew they were. The sun rises, the day begins anew, and the posters and moderators slowly wander out of Slash-town, blinking in the glorious sunlight. They shout, tears streaming down their pale cheeks in happiness, "I can see again... how could I have wasted so much of my time, for so long, on such a crappy weblog?"
The janitors stumble out of their Greek bathhouse, unable to believe their eyes as the banner advertising revenue hits the ground hard, like a WTC roofdiver. "What will be do now," they ask. "VA Software is a sham, and this awful Perl script was all we had. Shall we be forced to go out into the Real World, where our lack of social skills and laughable technical skills will force us to learn Visual Basic.NET in order to eke out a simple living?"
It will be difficult for the janitors to survive in a world not built upon hypocrisy and unwarranted arrogance. Malda still doesn't see what's wrong with dissing the MPAA while hyping DVDs, slandering the RIAA while pirating MP3s, and mocking Micosoft while playing games on a Windows 98 machine. Michael still doesn't understand that large corporations make the world go 'round, and will only find refuge in a backwoods white-supremacist militia, where his anti-government attitude and NAZI censorship experience will be heartily accepted. JonKatz doesn't understand the fact that he can't write, but that doesn't mean he won't get plenty of experience scrawling requests for help on pieces of cardboard with a magic marker. (Such signs are highly valued by the homeless population, for they are believed to increase the chance of donation while wandering the highway median by almost 7%.) Jeff doesn't understand that there just aren't many "armchair scientist" employment opportunities available in today's world. And Gay Nik, poor fellow, will finally have to come to terms with the fact that *BSD is dying.
Only Pater, who has enough energy and heat reserves stored in his belly to survive the next ice age, will live to see the Itanium released. He will be employed as a clown at an amusement park for disabled children. But he will be a sad clown, forever doomed to remember his friends and the stupid way in which they wasted their lives. "God, why have you forsaken me," he will scream, "why am I alone, doomed to wander the earth like a shade, remembering the sins of my compatriots? How I crave the sweet release of death! For to burn for all eternity in Hades with Malda by my side cannot hurt as much as living without him!" (One of the disabled children will then shit on Pater's floppy clown shoe.)
AOL chatrooms, instant messaging applications, USENET, and other weblogs will soak up Slashdot's newly forum-less users, who will rediscover the joy of communicating without the constant worry of being censored by someone who disagrees with them. The evilest users, unable to abandon their moderator ways, may become IRC operators, but are easily ignored.
Slashdot, you will not be missed. From the very first days of your existence, you were doomed to an anticlimactic end. Your fame and userbase are unwarranted. Your success was undeserved. You have fucked your users in so many ways, from editorial moderation abuse to allowing Katz to profit from users' comments, that it is unbelievable that you were able to stay alive as long as you did. Perhaps it is a testament to the parasitic, viral nature of the GPL, and the blindness of the Cheap Software community. But, enough -- we know your crimes. The real mistake was not shutting this shithole down when it died in 1999. Since then, it has only rotted and festered and stank as the trolls ate its carcass. You will never be able to walk in public without people pointing and laughing as recognize you and remember your embarrassing Internet identity.
The things you have done are unforgivable, and finally your bad karma has returned to take its toll. Slashdot is doomed to the ultimate punishment: it will not be remembered well. You won't burn out; you will fade away, and the very last memory of your existence will probably be a goatse.cx hyperlink.
Slashdot died in 1999, and, only now, has it realized that it is dead. The Slashdot janitors have finally proven themselves to be children that we trolls always knew they were. The sun rises, the day begins anew, and the posters and moderators slowly wander out of Slash-town, blinking in the glorious sunlight. They shout, tears streaming down their pale cheeks in happiness, "I can see again... how could I have wasted so much of my time, for so long, on such a crappy weblog?"
The janitors stumble out of their Greek bathhouse, unable to believe their eyes as the banner advertising revenue hits the ground hard, like a WTC roofdiver. "What will be do now," they ask. "VA Software is a sham, and this awful Perl script was all we had. Shall we be forced to go out into the Real World, where our lack of social skills and laughable technical skills will force us to learn Visual Basic.NET in order to eke out a simple living?"
It will be difficult for the janitors to survive in a world not built upon hypocrisy and unwarranted arrogance. Malda still doesn't see what's wrong with dissing the MPAA while hyping DVDs, slandering the RIAA while pirating MP3s, and mocking Micosoft while playing games on a Windows 98 machine. Michael still doesn't understand that large corporations make the world go 'round, and will only find refuge in a backwoods white-supremacist militia, where his anti-government attitude and NAZI censorship experience will be heartily accepted. JonKatz doesn't understand the fact that he can't write, but that doesn't mean he won't get plenty of experience scrawling requests for help on pieces of cardboard with a magic marker. (Such signs are highly valued by the homeless population, for they are believed to increase the chance of donation while wandering the highway median by almost 7%.) Jeff doesn't understand that there just aren't many "armchair scientist" employment opportunities available in today's world. And Gay Nik, poor fellow, will finally have to come to terms with the fact that *BSD is dying.
Only Pater, who has enough energy and heat reserves stored in his belly to survive the next ice age, will live to see the Itanium released. He will be employed as a clown at an amusement park for disabled children. But he will be a sad clown, forever doomed to remember his friends and the stupid way in which they wasted their lives. "God, why have you forsaken me," he will scream, "why am I alone, doomed to wander the earth like a shade, remembering the sins of my compatriots? How I crave the sweet release of death! For to burn for all eternity in Hades with Malda by my side cannot hurt as much as living without him!" (One of the disabled children will then shit on Pater's floppy clown shoe.)
AOL chatrooms, instant messaging applications, USENET, and other weblogs will soak up Slashdot's newly forum-less users, who will rediscover the joy of communicating without the constant worry of being censored by someone who disagrees with them. The evilest users, unable to abandon their moderator ways, may become IRC operators, but are easily ignored.
Slashdot, you will not be missed. From the very first days of your existence, you were doomed to an anticlimactic end. Your fame and userbase are unwarranted. Your success was undeserved. You have fucked your users in so many ways, from editorial moderation abuse to allowing Katz to profit from users' comments, that it is unbelievable that you were able to stay alive as long as you did. Perhaps it is a testament to the parasitic, viral nature of the GPL, and the blindness of the Cheap Software community. But, enough -- we know your crimes. The real mistake was not shutting this shithole down when it died in 1999. Since then, it has only rotted and festered and stank as the trolls ate its carcass. You will never be able to walk in public without people pointing and laughing as recognize you and remember your embarrassing Internet identity.
The things you have done are unforgivable, and finally your bad karma has returned to take its toll. Slashdot is doomed to the ultimate punishment: it will not be remembered well. You won't burn out; you will fade away, and the very last memory of your existence will probably be a goatse.cx hyperlink.
I love Slashdot hypocrisy! If a neophyte chose to visit Slashdot on any given day, here are some of the messages that he would take away, thanks to the fucktard Slashdot janitors:
"We censor trolls in the name of free speech!"
"The MPAA is evil, but have you checked out this new Star Wars DVD?"
"Microsoft is lame and stupid, and have you played this new Windows-only game?"
"Windows security bugs are a big deal! Microsoft is evil! Linux security bugs are unimportant, and besides, no one uses Linux anyway!"
"Macs are dumb because they look nice -- oh, and check out my l337 g4m3r case mods!"
"The RIAA is wrong about P2P networks doing illegal things, and also I spend all day pirating MP3s on Gnutella!"
"Large corporations are evil if they don't respect the GPL, but please, violate commercial software license agreements in the name of freedom!"
"Large corporations are the Bad Guys, unless they're giving the Cheap Software projects corporate welfare like IBM!"
"MySQL and Perl are all you need! But, for some odd reason, Linux wouldn't be considered a legitimate business tool without support by Oracle and Java!"
Anyway, moderators smoke crack, but janitors suck dick. And unless Michael suceeds in his NAZI Castration Camp plan, there'll always be more dick. Taco and the luser crew and such morons. They're like pushy IRC ops, but without IRC ops' social skills. Amatuer wannabe "hackers"...
As I mentioned in your journal discussion, I'm within DC's "cloak of civilization" along with you. I'm not on the Eastern Shore.:-) Although I must admit that I do like crabcakes... too bad the meat's so expensive.
"The back of this thing looks better than the front of other guys' systems."
Okay okay okay. First, I want to know exactly how much time Ives spent studying the fronts and backs of "guys' systems" in order to feel confident making such a statement. At least now we know where so much of Apple's R&D money goes: adult DVD stores and Silly Valley dance clubs.
Second, we now must realize where the design of the new iMac's base comes from: it's a buttock! That's right, a single buttcheek! Male, of course. Only Ives, with his extensive knowledge of male anatomy, could pull off such an amazing design.
Third, this explains the new iMac's color -- did you know that, originally, the new iMacs were blue? They were! Well, during the early stages of the design phase, Ives enjoyed taking two single-buttock iMacs, placing them back-to-back (forming a complete set of buttocks), and masturbating while imagining having sex with a member of Blue Man Group. One night, in a fit of sexual energy, he lubricated the iMac bases with thermal grease and started vigorously humping them, pretending that he was grinding against a Blue Man's ass. He was unable to control himself, and ejaculated all over one the iMacs... and when he recovered and started to clean up, he thought, "Wow, the new iMac looks really good covered in my white, sticky marinade of love!" He grabbed the iMac and ran down the hall to Steve's office, the iMac dripping thermal grease and cum all the way. "Steve, Steve!" he cried. "Look!" And Steve saw, and pissed himself, and it was good. So good that Steve and Ives made love in a puddle of urine on the floor. When they awoke the next morning, and walked out into the hall, and were amazed to discover that there had apparently been a fire in the building the night begore, a conflagration ignited by the heat of Jobs's and Ives's passion. But where the thermal grease and semen has dripped the day before, the floor was undamaged! "Jonathan, my lover," whispered Steve, "do you know what this means?" "Yes, Steve, I do. I means that we must have sex again." And they did, for they were so happy to discover that mixing semen and silver thermal grease creates a technically-advanced type of paint which allows heat to dissapate without harming metal or plastic. This magical mixture, called "heatcum," is what covers the new iMacs from "top" (heehee) to "bottom" (teeheehee).
What will those sick fucks at Apple "come" up with next?
Hey, he wants to report about shit, not eat it! I don't doubt that a popular Ethiopian dish such as "fried poopoo with plump worms and grass on stale bread" would produce interesting results, but I'd much rather eat Vietnamese -- thick, greasy tendons and tripe will improve anyone's BM.
Well... if you've ever seen Ives, you'll understand how. He has quite a lot of experience in "keeping his men's lips tight." All the same, considering what he was "feeding" them, it is surprising that they didn't "spit" some of it out. I understand that he's also quite the "sadist" type of manager, known for "whipping" his men into shape if they got "behind." Oh yeah!
You guys are slacking, though -- your homepage is down, and most of the NP links on Warren's page have been broken for months.:-) Need to spend less time on Butt Hill, I guess?
Nice to see some other DC-area people in the hiz-ouse. Turdy, if you like Chinese, be sure to try Hunan Manor on New Hampshire Avenue in Silver Spring. I recommend the kung pao chicken -- it'll make for a great turd report the next day.:-)
Hi, TRoLLaXoR... FYI, the Apple Store in Tyson's Corner (in McLean, VA) says they'll be getting them in on or about January 21st. Frankly, I was surprised -- they used the Apple Ninjas** for the Quicksilvers, and I don't see faster Power Macs as being as important as the new iMac design. I drove down there (about a 30 minute drive) during my lunch hour on the 7th, expecting the iLamps to be in-store... imagine my surprise when they weren't. But if you live near an Apple Store, call on the 21st and check.
If there isn't an Apple Store near you... well, you'll just have to move.:-) I love the Apple Store -- if they installed an espresso machine, I might never leave. I think the employees are a bit scared of me...
** Cupertino operatives who sneak in during the middle of the night with new hardware displays on the before a big announcement (like a keynote speech). I believe they've been used three times previously at the Tyson's Corner store.
No. Word documents are a standard... the problem is that you, as technical computer user, are thinking of "standardization" in the wrong way. To you, in order for a document format to be a "standard," it must have an open, published specificaton which allows multiple developers to support it. It is easy to think of HTML or PDF as this kind of standard. But to the undeniably vast majority of computer users, "standard" means "it's what everyone uses, and thus I should too." To 99% of business users, Word documents are the standard, and sending ASCII text files is viewed as subversive and silly. The Slashdot community must realize that the real world has much different criteria for standards and that these criteria are what make Word the standard document format, Windows the standard desktop operating system, and x86 the standard computer architecture. You may not like it, but you can't deny it.
Even if enough of the industry could rally together and develop an open document "standard," you'll have a hell of a time getting anyone to use it. Microsoft isn't stupid, and isn't going to do anything which might in the future reduce marketshare -- so you know they won't have anything to do with it. And what corporation is going to risk switching to an untried, untested document format, especially when the rest of the world uses Word? It's a deep-seated problem, going all back to DOS, when Wordperfect and Word were the dual "standards" in PC word processing. Microsoft's later dominance allowed them to knock Wordperfect off the pedestal and have the spotlight all to itself. Microsoft has been a major player in word processing or 15-20 years, long before every office worker had a PC. Any competitor has his work cut out for him.
I agree. We should instead be using the universal document format, the format which is usable by all people, and on all machines. The original and best format.
Slashdot Mirror
+1, Maximum Hilarity. I love you! I would mod you up myself if the janitors hadn't castrated my account so very, very long ago...
+1, Maximum Hilarity. I love you! I would mod you up myself if the janitors hadn't castrated my account so very, very long ago...
Actually, the Japanese are incredibly racist about all non-Japanese. Now that apartheid in South Africa has been for the most part eradticated, Japan and Israel are the two most racist states on Earth. In both of those countries, the concept of a non-Japanese or non-Israeli Jew (respectively) being elected to public office is beyond laughable; it is impossible -- not only because of the racism of the populations, but because the goverments actively persecute immigrants to ensure that the voting populations remain homogenous. Sure, the US is fucked-up, but when you look at countries like Japan and Israel, you have to admit that we've made more progess in social equality than most.
We're so sorry that our individualism offends you, little man! Now please, continue working according to your ability and consuming according to your need before the centrally-managed Gov't Co. discovers that you are posting on a subversive and unauthorized free-speech outlet! You don't like attle prods, no you don't! Tee hee!
Europe was also interested in socialism, ethnic cleansing, gestapo secret police forces, loss of personal privacy rights, and domestic spying "way before the US." Not everything that comes out of that wasteland is such a great idea, you, you... you terrorist! Just wait 'til I sick John Ashcroft on your traitor ass!
And as for British misspelling, I think that we should say "fuck you" to those Limey bastards and start calling the language "American." We're the world's sole superpower. We can do what we want. And if the British don't like it, well, they can run off and cry to their socialist Eurotrash buddies, who I hear just this week managed to get a EuroFighter off the ground. Good job, "mates!"
The British "military" will be easy to decimate, and luckily we won't have to worry about resistance from the British populace, who are both docile (like sheep!) and unarmed. I mean, if a few shamrock-smoking IRA pussies are enough to make a Brit wet his trousers, it would probably only take a brigade of America's Slayer-fueled necro-wuss child murderers to get those pale, splay-toothed whiners under control.
And thanks to the British government's anti-privacy cryptography legislation, the takeover of Britain's business and economic communities would be simple -- that is, if said community were worth the effort.
Britain will be officially conquered within 72 hours of the declaration of war. )I would say 48 hours, except for the damn time difference. We Americans like to get a full night's sleep!) And what will become of your fucked-up little island then? It's not quite worthy of statehood, so I expect that it will become a prison colony. This option is attractive because in the event of a prison escape, the criminals would be quite far away from the law-abiding citizens of the US. Any escaped criminals will be forced to emigrate to Europe, and who knows, maybe if enough of them escape they'll have a positive influence on those neutered socialist clowns.
SO... The few British persons who recognize the truth in my words ought to start suggesting that their countrymen take the language's official name-change gracefully. You'll just have to accept that your people's version of the language is withered and dead, just like your empire and your potential influence in international politics.
I'm so glad I'm not from a lame country like yours! It must be difficult living day-to-day, knowing that you are a worthless nothing. Cheers, "mate!"
Slashdot died in 1999, and, only now, has it realized that it is dead. The Slashdot janitors have finally proven themselves to be children that we trolls always knew they were. The sun rises, the day begins anew, and the posters and moderators slowly wander out of Slash-town, blinking in the glorious sunlight. They shout, tears streaming down their pale cheeks in happiness, "I can see again... how could I have wasted so much of my time, for so long, on such a crappy weblog?"
The janitors stumble out of their Greek bathhouse, unable to believe their eyes as the banner advertising revenue hits the ground hard, like a WTC roofdiver. "What will be do now," they ask. "VA Software is a sham, and this awful Perl script was all we had. Shall we be forced to go out into the Real World, where our lack of social skills and laughable technical skills will force us to learn Visual Basic.NET in order to eke out a simple living?"
It will be difficult for the janitors to survive in a world not built upon hypocrisy and unwarranted arrogance. Malda still doesn't see what's wrong with dissing the MPAA while hyping DVDs, slandering the RIAA while pirating MP3s, and mocking Micosoft while playing games on a Windows 98 machine. Michael still doesn't understand that large corporations make the world go 'round, and will only find refuge in a backwoods white-supremacist militia, where his anti-government attitude and NAZI censorship experience will be heartily accepted. JonKatz doesn't understand the fact that he can't write, but that doesn't mean he won't get plenty of experience scrawling requests for help on pieces of cardboard with a magic marker. (Such signs are highly valued by the homeless population, for they are believed to increase the chance of donation while wandering the highway median by almost 7%.) Jeff doesn't understand that there just aren't many "armchair scientist" employment opportunities available in today's world. And Gay Nik, poor fellow, will finally have to come to terms with the fact that *BSD is dying.
Only Pater, who has enough energy and heat reserves stored in his belly to survive the next ice age, will live to see the Itanium released. He will be employed as a clown at an amusement park for disabled children. But he will be a sad clown, forever doomed to remember his friends and the stupid way in which they wasted their lives. "God, why have you forsaken me," he will scream, "why am I alone, doomed to wander the earth like a shade, remembering the sins of my compatriots? How I crave the sweet release of death! For to burn for all eternity in Hades with Malda by my side cannot hurt as much as living without him!" (One of the disabled children will then shit on Pater's floppy clown shoe.)
AOL chatrooms, instant messaging applications, USENET, and other weblogs will soak up Slashdot's newly forum-less users, who will rediscover the joy of communicating without the constant worry of being censored by someone who disagrees with them. The evilest users, unable to abandon their moderator ways, may become IRC operators, but are easily ignored.
Slashdot, you will not be missed. From the very first days of your existence, you were doomed to an anticlimactic end. Your fame and userbase are unwarranted. Your success was undeserved. You have fucked your users in so many ways, from editorial moderation abuse to allowing Katz to profit from users' comments, that it is unbelievable that you were able to stay alive as long as you did. Perhaps it is a testament to the parasitic, viral nature of the GPL, and the blindness of the Cheap Software community. But, enough -- we know your crimes. The real mistake was not shutting this shithole down when it died in 1999. Since then, it has only rotted and festered and stank as the trolls ate its carcass. You will never be able to walk in public without people pointing and laughing as recognize you and remember your embarrassing Internet identity.
The things you have done are unforgivable, and finally your bad karma has returned to take its toll. Slashdot is doomed to the ultimate punishment: it will not be remembered well. You won't burn out; you will fade away, and the very last memory of your existence will probably be a goatse.cx hyperlink.
Goodbye, Slashdot, and good riddance.
-- The_Messenger
User #110966. Now crashing at TRoLLaXoR's place. Please visit the Slashback homepage and the Troll Tuesday 2k1 memorial.
Slashdot died in 1999, and, only now, has it realized that it is dead. The Slashdot janitors have finally proven themselves to be children that we trolls always knew they were. The sun rises, the day begins anew, and the posters and moderators slowly wander out of Slash-town, blinking in the glorious sunlight. They shout, tears streaming down their pale cheeks in happiness, "I can see again... how could I have wasted so much of my time, for so long, on such a crappy weblog?"
The janitors stumble out of their Greek bathhouse, unable to believe their eyes as the banner advertising revenue hits the ground hard, like a WTC roofdiver. "What will be do now," they ask. "VA Software is a sham, and this awful Perl script was all we had. Shall we be forced to go out into the Real World, where our lack of social skills and laughable technical skills will force us to learn Visual Basic.NET in order to eke out a simple living?"
It will be difficult for the janitors to survive in a world not built upon hypocrisy and unwarranted arrogance. Malda still doesn't see what's wrong with dissing the MPAA while hyping DVDs, slandering the RIAA while pirating MP3s, and mocking Micosoft while playing games on a Windows 98 machine. Michael still doesn't understand that large corporations make the world go 'round, and will only find refuge in a backwoods white-supremacist militia, where his anti-government attitude and NAZI censorship experience will be heartily accepted. JonKatz doesn't understand the fact that he can't write, but that doesn't mean he won't get plenty of experience scrawling requests for help on pieces of cardboard with a magic marker. (Such signs are highly valued by the homeless population, for they are believed to increase the chance of donation while wandering the highway median by almost 7%.) Jeff doesn't understand that there just aren't many "armchair scientist" employment opportunities available in today's world. And Gay Nik, poor fellow, will finally have to come to terms with the fact that *BSD is dying.
Only Pater, who has enough energy and heat reserves stored in his belly to survive the next ice age, will live to see the Itanium released. He will be employed as a clown at an amusement park for disabled children. But he will be a sad clown, forever doomed to remember his friends and the stupid way in which they wasted their lives. "God, why have you forsaken me," he will scream, "why am I alone, doomed to wander the earth like a shade, remembering the sins of my compatriots? How I crave the sweet release of death! For to burn for all eternity in Hades with Malda by my side cannot hurt as much as living without him!" (One of the disabled children will then shit on Pater's floppy clown shoe.)
AOL chatrooms, instant messaging applications, USENET, and other weblogs will soak up Slashdot's newly forum-less users, who will rediscover the joy of communicating without the constant worry of being censored by someone who disagrees with them. The evilest users, unable to abandon their moderator ways, may become IRC operators, but are easily ignored.
Slashdot, you will not be missed. From the very first days of your existence, you were doomed to an anticlimactic end. Your fame and userbase are unwarranted. Your success was undeserved. You have fucked your users in so many ways, from editorial moderation abuse to allowing Katz to profit from users' comments, that it is unbelievable that you were able to stay alive as long as you did. Perhaps it is a testament to the parasitic, viral nature of the GPL, and the blindness of the Cheap Software community. But, enough -- we know your crimes. The real mistake was not shutting this shithole down when it died in 1999. Since then, it has only rotted and festered and stank as the trolls ate its carcass. You will never be able to walk in public without people pointing and laughing as recognize you and remember your embarrassing Internet identity.
The things you have done are unforgivable, and finally your bad karma has returned to take its toll. Slashdot is doomed to the ultimate punishment: it will not be remembered well. You won't burn out; you will fade away, and the very last memory of your existence will probably be a goatse.cx hyperlink.
Goodbye, Slashdot, and good riddance.
-- The_Messenger
User #110966. Now crashing at TRoLLaXoR's place. Please visit the Slashback homepage and the Troll Tuesday 2k1 memorial.
Slashdot died in 1999, and, only now, has it realized that it is dead. The Slashdot janitors have finally proven themselves to be children that we trolls always knew they were. The sun rises, the day begins anew, and the posters and moderators slowly wander out of Slash-town, blinking in the glorious sunlight. They shout, tears streaming down their pale cheeks in happiness, "I can see again... how could I have wasted so much of my time, for so long, on such a crappy weblog?"
The janitors stumble out of their Greek bathhouse, unable to believe their eyes as the banner advertising revenue hits the ground hard, like a WTC roofdiver. "What will be do now," they ask. "VA Software is a sham, and this awful Perl script was all we had. Shall we be forced to go out into the Real World, where our lack of social skills and laughable technical skills will force us to learn Visual Basic.NET in order to eke out a simple living?"
It will be difficult for the janitors to survive in a world not built upon hypocrisy and unwarranted arrogance. Malda still doesn't see what's wrong with dissing the MPAA while hyping DVDs, slandering the RIAA while pirating MP3s, and mocking Micosoft while playing games on a Windows 98 machine. Michael still doesn't understand that large corporations make the world go 'round, and will only find refuge in a backwoods white-supremacist militia, where his anti-government attitude and NAZI censorship experience will be heartily accepted. JonKatz doesn't understand the fact that he can't write, but that doesn't mean he won't get plenty of experience scrawling requests for help on pieces of cardboard with a magic marker. (Such signs are highly valued by the homeless population, for they are believed to increase the chance of donation while wandering the highway median by almost 7%.) Jeff doesn't understand that there just aren't many "armchair scientist" employment opportunities available in today's world. And Gay Nik, poor fellow, will finally have to come to terms with the fact that *BSD is dying.
Only Pater, who has enough energy and heat reserves stored in his belly to survive the next ice age, will live to see the Itanium released. He will be employed as a clown at an amusement park for disabled children. But he will be a sad clown, forever doomed to remember his friends and the stupid way in which they wasted their lives. "God, why have you forsaken me," he will scream, "why am I alone, doomed to wander the earth like a shade, remembering the sins of my compatriots? How I crave the sweet release of death! For to burn for all eternity in Hades with Malda by my side cannot hurt as much as living without him!" (One of the disabled children will then shit on Pater's floppy clown shoe.)
AOL chatrooms, instant messaging applications, USENET, and other weblogs will soak up Slashdot's newly forum-less users, who will rediscover the joy of communicating without the constant worry of being censored by someone who disagrees with them. The evilest users, unable to abandon their moderator ways, may become IRC operators, but are easily ignored.
Slashdot, you will not be missed. From the very first days of your existence, you were doomed to an anticlimactic end. Your fame and userbase are unwarranted. Your success was undeserved. You have fucked your users in so many ways, from editorial moderation abuse to allowing Katz to profit from users' comments, that it is unbelievable that you were able to stay alive as long as you did. Perhaps it is a testament to the parasitic, viral nature of the GPL, and the blindness of the Cheap Software community. But, enough -- we know your crimes. The real mistake was not shutting this shithole down when it died in 1999. Since then, it has only rotted and festered and stank as the trolls ate its carcass. You will never be able to walk in public without people pointing and laughing as recognize you and remember your embarrassing Internet identity.
The things you have done are unforgivable, and finally your bad karma has returned to take its toll. Slashdot is doomed to the ultimate punishment: it will not be remembered well. You won't burn out; you will fade away, and the very last memory of your existence will probably be a goatse.cx hyperlink.
Goodbye, Slashdot, and good riddance.
-- The_Messenger
User #110966. Now crashing at TRoLLaXoR's place. Please visit the Slashback homepage and the Troll Tuesday 2k1 memorial.
Slashdot died in 1999, and, only now, has it realized that it is dead. The Slashdot janitors have finally proven themselves to be children that we trolls always knew they were. The sun rises, the day begins anew, and the posters and moderators slowly wander out of Slash-town, blinking in the glorious sunlight. They shout, tears streaming down their pale cheeks in happiness, "I can see again... how could I have wasted so much of my time, for so long, on such a crappy weblog?"
The janitors stumble out of their Greek bathhouse, unable to believe their eyes as the banner advertising revenue hits the ground hard, like a WTC roofdiver. "What will be do now," they ask. "VA Software is a sham, and this awful Perl script was all we had. Shall we be forced to go out into the Real World, where our lack of social skills and laughable technical skills will force us to learn Visual Basic.NET in order to eke out a simple living?"
It will be difficult for the janitors to survive in a world not built upon hypocrisy and unwarranted arrogance. Malda still doesn't see what's wrong with dissing the MPAA while hyping DVDs, slandering the RIAA while pirating MP3s, and mocking Micosoft while playing games on a Windows 98 machine. Michael still doesn't understand that large corporations make the world go 'round, and will only find refuge in a backwoods white-supremacist militia, where his anti-government attitude and NAZI censorship experience will be heartily accepted. JonKatz doesn't understand the fact that he can't write, but that doesn't mean he won't get plenty of experience scrawling requests for help on pieces of cardboard with a magic marker. (Such signs are highly valued by the homeless population, for they are believed to increase the chance of donation while wandering the highway median by almost 7%.) Jeff doesn't understand that there just aren't many "armchair scientist" employment opportunities available in today's world. And Gay Nik, poor fellow, will finally have to come to terms with the fact that *BSD is dying.
Only Pater, who has enough energy and heat reserves stored in his belly to survive the next ice age, will live to see the Itanium released. He will be employed as a clown at an amusement park for disabled children. But he will be a sad clown, forever doomed to remember his friends and the stupid way in which they wasted their lives. "God, why have you forsaken me," he will scream, "why am I alone, doomed to wander the earth like a shade, remembering the sins of my compatriots? How I crave the sweet release of death! For to burn for all eternity in Hades with Malda by my side cannot hurt as much as living without him!" (One of the disabled children will then shit on Pater's floppy clown shoe.)
AOL chatrooms, instant messaging applications, USENET, and other weblogs will soak up Slashdot's newly forum-less users, who will rediscover the joy of communicating without the constant worry of being censored by someone who disagrees with them. The evilest users, unable to abandon their moderator ways, may become IRC operators, but are easily ignored.
Slashdot, you will not be missed. From the very first days of your existence, you were doomed to an anticlimactic end. Your fame and userbase are unwarranted. Your success was undeserved. You have fucked your users in so many ways, from editorial moderation abuse to allowing Katz to profit from users' comments, that it is unbelievable that you were able to stay alive as long as you did. Perhaps it is a testament to the parasitic, viral nature of the GPL, and the blindness of the Cheap Software community. But, enough -- we know your crimes. The real mistake was not shutting this shithole down when it died in 1999. Since then, it has only rotted and festered and stank as the trolls ate its carcass. You will never be able to walk in public without people pointing and laughing as recognize you and remember your embarrassing Internet identity.
The things you have done are unforgivable, and finally your bad karma has returned to take its toll. Slashdot is doomed to the ultimate punishment: it will not be remembered well. You won't burn out; you will fade away, and the very last memory of your existence will probably be a goatse.cx hyperlink.
Goodbye, Slashdot, and good riddance.
-- The_Messenger
User #110966. Now crashing at TRoLLaXoR's place. Please visit the Slashback homepage and the Troll Tuesday 2k1 memorial.
I love Slashdot hypocrisy! If a neophyte chose to visit Slashdot on any given day, here are some of the messages that he would take away, thanks to the fucktard Slashdot janitors:
- "We censor trolls in the name of free speech!"
- "The MPAA is evil, but have you checked out this new Star Wars DVD?"
- "Microsoft is lame and stupid, and have you played this new Windows-only game?"
- "Windows security bugs are a big deal! Microsoft is evil! Linux security bugs are unimportant, and besides, no one uses Linux anyway!"
- "Macs are dumb because they look nice -- oh, and check out my l337 g4m3r case mods!"
- "The RIAA is wrong about P2P networks doing illegal things, and also I spend all day pirating MP3s on Gnutella!"
- "Large corporations are evil if they don't respect the GPL, but please, violate commercial software license agreements in the name of freedom!"
- "Large corporations are the Bad Guys, unless they're giving the Cheap Software projects corporate welfare like IBM!"
- "MySQL and Perl are all you need! But, for some odd reason, Linux wouldn't be considered a legitimate business tool without support by Oracle and Java!"
Anyway, moderators smoke crack, but janitors suck dick. And unless Michael suceeds in his NAZI Castration Camp plan, there'll always be more dick. Taco and the luser crew and such morons. They're like pushy IRC ops, but without IRC ops' social skills. Amatuer wannabe "hackers"...As I mentioned in your journal discussion, I'm within DC's "cloak of civilization" along with you. I'm not on the Eastern Shore. :-) Although I must admit that I do like crabcakes... too bad the meat's so expensive.
Second, we now must realize where the design of the new iMac's base comes from: it's a buttock! That's right, a single buttcheek! Male, of course. Only Ives, with his extensive knowledge of male anatomy, could pull off such an amazing design.
Third, this explains the new iMac's color -- did you know that, originally, the new iMacs were blue? They were! Well, during the early stages of the design phase, Ives enjoyed taking two single-buttock iMacs, placing them back-to-back (forming a complete set of buttocks), and masturbating while imagining having sex with a member of Blue Man Group. One night, in a fit of sexual energy, he lubricated the iMac bases with thermal grease and started vigorously humping them, pretending that he was grinding against a Blue Man's ass. He was unable to control himself, and ejaculated all over one the iMacs... and when he recovered and started to clean up, he thought, "Wow, the new iMac looks really good covered in my white, sticky marinade of love!" He grabbed the iMac and ran down the hall to Steve's office, the iMac dripping thermal grease and cum all the way. "Steve, Steve!" he cried. "Look!" And Steve saw, and pissed himself, and it was good. So good that Steve and Ives made love in a puddle of urine on the floor. When they awoke the next morning, and walked out into the hall, and were amazed to discover that there had apparently been a fire in the building the night begore, a conflagration ignited by the heat of Jobs's and Ives's passion. But where the thermal grease and semen has dripped the day before, the floor was undamaged! "Jonathan, my lover," whispered Steve, "do you know what this means?" "Yes, Steve, I do. I means that we must have sex again." And they did, for they were so happy to discover that mixing semen and silver thermal grease creates a technically-advanced type of paint which allows heat to dissapate without harming metal or plastic. This magical mixture, called "heatcum," is what covers the new iMacs from "top" (heehee) to "bottom" (teeheehee).
What will those sick fucks at Apple "come" up with next?
Hey, he wants to report about shit, not eat it! I don't doubt that a popular Ethiopian dish such as "fried poopoo with plump worms and grass on stale bread" would produce interesting results, but I'd much rather eat Vietnamese -- thick, greasy tendons and tripe will improve anyone's BM.
Probably a good idea. :-) But if you're ever stuck in MD and need some food, keep it in mind...
Well... if you've ever seen Ives, you'll understand how. He has quite a lot of experience in "keeping his men's lips tight." All the same, considering what he was "feeding" them, it is surprising that they didn't "spit" some of it out. I understand that he's also quite the "sadist" type of manager, known for "whipping" his men into shape if they got "behind." Oh yeah!
No, I'm in Rockville, on the other side of DC.
You guys are slacking, though -- your homepage is down, and most of the NP links on Warren's page have been broken for months. :-) Need to spend less time on Butt Hill, I guess?
It's nice. Very nice. You'll like it.
Nice to see some other DC-area people in the hiz-ouse. Turdy, if you like Chinese, be sure to try Hunan Manor on New Hampshire Avenue in Silver Spring. I recommend the kung pao chicken -- it'll make for a great turd report the next day. :-)
If there isn't an Apple Store near you... well, you'll just have to move. :-) I love the Apple Store -- if they installed an espresso machine, I might never leave. I think the employees are a bit scared of me...
** Cupertino operatives who sneak in during the middle of the night with new hardware displays on the before a big announcement (like a keynote speech). I believe they've been used three times previously at the Tyson's Corner store.
FYI, whenever I talk about Mitnick being raped, I use this link. Try it next time!
Now just give me a domestic region-less DVD player and I'll be your customer for life!
Even if enough of the industry could rally together and develop an open document "standard," you'll have a hell of a time getting anyone to use it. Microsoft isn't stupid, and isn't going to do anything which might in the future reduce marketshare -- so you know they won't have anything to do with it. And what corporation is going to risk switching to an untried, untested document format, especially when the rest of the world uses Word? It's a deep-seated problem, going all back to DOS, when Wordperfect and Word were the dual "standards" in PC word processing. Microsoft's later dominance allowed them to knock Wordperfect off the pedestal and have the spotlight all to itself. Microsoft has been a major player in word processing or 15-20 years, long before every office worker had a PC. Any competitor has his work cut out for him.
I am, of course, referring to PDF.