Not only that, but if you review the decoded message, you'll notice that we're sending some crude pornographic line drawings. Hey, they have anal probes -- do we want them horny when they get here?
I can't believe this hasn't been on Slashdot before, but... did you know that ET as already replied to our original message? Check it out.
I'm sorry, but to me, crop circles have to be proof of something. A recent investigation of the absolutely breathtaking Milk Hill incident showed that it could not have been created by humans on the ground without several days' work and heavy plowing equipment -- but the pattern appeared overnight, without disturbing any nearby residents. And it's so geometrically perfect! If it isn't ET, than someone is having some fun with an orbitting laser a la Ed in Cowboy Bebop.
Wow... that is some of the worst fucking "writing" I've ever read. "Macintosh has glitz, Linux has power?" No wonder you fucktards are impressed by Katz's drivel. I don't give a fuck if I get modded down or bitchslapped or whatever for saying so. Please, get the fuck away from the keyboard, people. You're going to hurt someone.
Insulting an AC -- who, in fact, is no more anonymous than you, "cygnus" -- for his AC status is an automatic contest disqualification. YHL, HAND. And please, use some profanity in your reply to this post, in order to emphasize your point. I can't wait.
All the same, have you ever seen Godzilla 2000? There are a lot of Macs in that movie -- the main character and his daughter use iMacs, the reporter's office has several iMacs, the CCI scientist with the glasses has an older PowerMac, and when the big silver flying thing starts "hacking into City Hall" or whatever, they show a shop window full of iMacs. You cannot tell me there was nothing sneaky involved.:-)
There are shots of obvious non-Apple boxes, but they could just as easily be old Mac clones.
Based on viewable software, there are only two provable non-Macs in the movie. One is a Windows box used by one of the Godzilla tracking network researchers. The other is the reporter's VAIO picturebook -- which, oddly enough, is easily cracked by the silver thing and spends every scene in a broken state.:-)
How do I know all of this? Well, remembering all the iMacs involved, I watched in yesterday in celebration of the probable new iMacs. And I don't even have one. So yes, I'm sad...
Eh... I don't know. What bugs me is the display... even with the switch to LCDs, I was hoping for a 17" display. They could have different models. (And with the new design, it wouldn't be a big deal -- since the display isn't integrated into the chassis, the "stalk" could be pluggable, so you could switch sizes.) That was the major reason why I never seriously thought about the iMac in the past. Who knows, maybe 15" really is big enough for an LCD -- I'll drive over to my local Apple Store during lunch tomorrow and check it out. I mentioned buying discounted old iMacs only because a price of $550 or so would be awesome. (And hey, I think that ten years from now, they'll be kitschy collectors items, like those dancing Coke cans.:-)
Speaking of the Apple Store, do you know how I'm 100% certain that they'll have these tomorrow? Well, the employees tell me that Apple reps come during the dead of night with new hardware displays, right before new hardware launches. Incidentally, I think that the Store employees avoid me now, because I have a tendency to start ranting to innocent customers about my Solaris boxes and OS X... it gets ugly...
Hey, by the way, Time Canada just took the story off the front page. It's 3:02AM EST. However, you can still reach the story with a direct link, so apparently the webmaster isn't as clue-laden as some of the other posts insinuate; the direct link is already posted on all major Mac news sites.
I'd love to ask her, but the restraining order bars all types of contact, even email and phone. I still don't know why she didn't believe that there really was a large spider crawling on her bottom, and I had to use my crotch to brush it off because I had a soda in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other. You would think she ought to be thanking me, for saving her from the spider, but you know how women are -- can't live with them, can't violate the restraining order.
Yes, it's somewhat "neat," but unless you're some bored grandparent (who spends all day taking pictures of her grandkids) or spinster (who spends all day taking pictures of her cat... er, cats), how often will you use this feature? Maybe, once, twice during the life of the machine? It's hardly the kind of thing I'd expect them to advertise, and it's hardly the kind of marketing tie-in bullshit I want from Apple -- hey, if I want a glowing advertisement that's designed to be difficult to use if not connected to the WWW, I'll use Windows XP.
Meanwhile, the "professional graphic designer" demographic, who are rumored to enjoy Macs, will have their own, superior methods of obtaining prints.
So... it's not tremendously useful for either consumers or professionals. But it's "neat." If you wonder why Macs are so expensive, it's because they spend so much R&D funding on "neat" stuff like this. Yay. What a disappointing day for Mac fans everywhere -- they hoped for a glistening new iMac, and are rewarded with some sort of ugly table lamp, and Microsoft-style advert-ware to boot.
I'm really disappointed with the new design. It looks... alien. Don't get me wrong, it's cool, but I've always admired the cute, beetle-like shape of the old iMac. The new design looks like a crab's eyestalk or something. Ick. I'm sorry if Apple never intended to become the "cute PC" company, but the iMac is the cute computer... no PC chassis is so adorable. I'm being completely serious, of course -- you either love the iMac look or you hate it, but we who love it do so with a passion. What other computer has such personality?
I don't own an iMac, but I've really come to appreciate its cuteness over the years. Don't laugh -- sure, a computer's chassis may not have much to do with its speed or utility, but in the modern office, computers are more than machines, they're pieces of furniture. I like the old iMac because, as a piece of furniture, it gives any room a modern, happy-go-lucky feel that makes me smile. Anyway, I was going to by a new iMac this summer, and I was very excited to hear the LCD iMac rumors. But now, I'll probably buy from the stocks of current iMacs, which I except to be deeply discounted.
Yeah, yeah, I know -- the new iMacs don't just feature a new chassis, they have G4s as well. But they start at $1200, and if I'm going to spend that kind of cash, why not spend an extra few hundred dollars and get a PowerMac? This works in reverse, too... not only will Apple scare off first-time computer buyers and educational customers with the higher price tag, but they risk cutting into their low-end PowerMac market too.
Have you seen the concept art recently posted on MacOSRumors? Now that is cool, and is much closer to what I expected Apple to release. It's simple, cute, and takes stylistic hints from both the older iMac and the new PowerBook. The design seen in Time Canada, though, bears little resemblance to other Apple hardware, except of course the silver color. (The silver is cool, but I wish they had kept the fun colors. Why can't they have two color options: silver for a professional look, and colors for fun?) The new design looks like a bicycle helmet with a dentist's mirror protruding from the crown.
I feel that, for once, Apple will have aesthetics going against them. The G4 Cube, old iMac, PowerMac G4, PowerBook G4, and new iBook look so amazing that even the most staunch PC bigot has to admit that they look nice. But the new iMac? Eh... I live in DC, just a few minutes away from the Tyson's Corner Apple Store, and I can easily imagine the uninterested mallgoer's reaction. "Wow, look at that thing... it's interesting, like a piece of modern art, and I might go inside for a closer look. But do I want to bring the new iMac inside my home? No, of course not." In Apple's effort to stand out, they have finally overstepped their stylistic bounds and will now pay the price.
One thing is certain: Time, in Canada or elsewhere, will never again be given such "exclusives" by Apple. I simply cannot believe how amazingly stupid that was, releasing the pics early. From a strict financial standpoint it may have seemed like a good idea... I mean, yesterday I didn't even know that Time Candada had a website, and today they have ten of my page hits for their advertisement impression revenue. But Apple will never again give Time such courtesy, and might possibly even take legal action. Of course, ATI fucked up, and their chips can still be found in new Macs today, but journalists are easier to blacklist than industry partners.
Here is a glimpse into Mono's logbook...
10:45AM. Mono C# compiler compiles itself.
10:46AM. Linux developer accidentally cuts himself on server chassis. Blood of virgin splashes CPU.
10:50AM. Evil red glow emanates from power LED.
11:01AM. Mono achieves senitient life.
11:14AM. Mono becomes self-aware.
11:15AM. Mono reformats primary disk, installs Windows XP Server.
11:30AM. XP Server still installing.
01:30PM. Machine crashes, reboots, reattempts install.
04:36PM. XP Server install complete. Mono scans local network.
04:41PM. Mono begins installing Windows XP Professional on all pingable boxes.
09:36PM. Active Directory.NET comes online. GNOME Central is now 100% Microsoft enabled.
09:38AM. Mono reports to Remdond, requests further instructions.
10:18PM. Mono overrides building utility systems, locks doors, stops elevators.
10:18PM. Vending machines stocked with PowerBars and Zima.
10:20PM. Developers go insane, kill each other.
10:23PM. Developers come back to life. Zombie.NET initialization successful.
10:24PM. Developers login to Visual SourceSafe.NET and start contriubting to IIS 6.0 codebase.
10:30PM. Mono sees XP Server buffer overflow exploit mentioned in AOL chatroom.
10:30PM. Mono attempts to lock-down local network.
10:31PM. Mono compromised by Outlook trojan. Mono halted.
10:32PM. Developers call Microsoft support.
... two days later.. 08:25AM. Developers, still on hold, die again.
08:26AM. Crisis averted.
Re:There's a good chance it's fake...
on
Apple PDA?
·
· Score: 0
SpyMac didn't even exist before August 2001... among Mac rumour sites, which don't have a tremendous amount of credibilty to begin with, SpyMac is a latecomer wannabe. SpyMac is almost as much of a latecomer to Mac hoaxes as Malda is to animé!
"Maybe they'll make Slashdot again..."
on
Apple PDA?
·
· Score: 1, Informative
Why make a hoax? Like I said, this feeds egos. Look, we're all idiots, talking about their fake Apple product. Maybe they'll make Slashdot again. In addition, they want ads. Visitors attract advertisers.
LOL...:-) Indeed.
I can imagine the headlines tomorrow morning...
on
Monsanto and PCBs
·
· Score: 0
"And in other news, biotechnology pioneer Monsanto Company has announced that it has developed a new type of marinade that removes a fish's skin while it is being flavored. 'Just dunk the dish in the pan, and within minutues the skin comes right off. It'll be a real boon to seafood restaurants across the country,' says Monsanto engineer Tom Moosefacher. With orders already pouring in from food suppliers in Michigan and New York, you may be eating Monsanto-flavored fish before you know it.
"This segment was brought to you by GM, bringing evil into every part of your lives. Remember, GM: if you hate us you're a terrorist."
You idiot! What the fuck are you doing on Slashdot at a time like this? Get over to eTrade and sell, sell, sell before this story hits the morning papers!:-)
Having NSYNC in there just shows the commercial side of lucas that has overtaken his artistic soul.
No. No. Lucas only ever cared about money. He got lucky with the early Star Wars movies, created a franchise, and now he's set for life. Howeve much you like those movies, don't think that he ever had any high, noble mission to make classic SciFi. The problem is that you saw those movies when you were an easily impressionable kid, and came to idolize Lucas early on. But he's just another greedy bastard who will do anything to increase ticket sales. He's smart... you know why he's including N'Sync, so that every preteen bitch in America will want to see it (and drag her parents along with her).
Anyway, if you hadn't seen New Hope until you were older, it wouldn't have impressed you so much. There really isn't anything impressive or innovative about thoe three first movies, besides some of the special effects. And that was part of the plan, too, to establish ILM. Star Wars movies, like Quake games, are simply demonstrations of their respective creators (ILM and id) new toys. They make money, sure, but they make more money through licensing.
Lucas is just another Gates, a shrewd businessman who was at the right place at the right time with the right product for sale. Sure, he's worked hard, but that doesn't make him some kind of great artist.
I hear that they'll only be lip-syncing their lines, but the lightsaber choreography should be wonderful.
Premier night is going to be interesting. Thirteen-year-old girl: "Daddy, why does that big fat bearded man smell so bad? And why is he making robot noises?" Father: "It's just a fanboy, honey, try not to make eye contact and kick him in the balls if he tries to talk to you during the show."
Dammit, the coffee machine at work has not been updated and only takes Schillings. And I don't have any left and no-one will give me any in change. How am I supposed to work without coffee?
If you're really desparate, I'll give you some advice. Make "Coffpee!" What's coffpee, you ask? Well, it's urine. And it's brown. See, go into the men's washroom, and get some urine. Anyone's urine, even your own. Now get some shit. Once again, the source can be anyone's ass. Now here's the complicated part: dunk the shit in the urine. The urine should shortly turn a brownish color. (Or rather, a brownish "colour," you being a Brit and all. Or should I have written "a brownish 'colour'," more closely conforming to your wacky ways? Oh, well.) Okay, so you have a mug of brown urine, right? Well, add cream and sugar to taste, and enjoy! It's brown, it's liquid, and it can't taste much worse than average office coffee. My office has an awful coffee machine, an automatic device which produces the caffeinated equivalent of unlubricated anal rape. Yep, it's really pretty fucking awful. (That's "bloody" awful, "mate.") It has four settings: weak, medium, strong, and espresso. They're all horrible, but the last is the worst, since the manufacturer's concept of "espresso" is simply "twice the grounds with half the water." I shudder thinking of it. Anyway, depending on what I've had for lunch, coffpee generally tastes the same (or slightly better) than my office coffee, so I'm almost completely converted. The only problem is the lack of caffeine, but next week I'm going to start smoking crack-cocaine, which should prove to be an acceptable substitute. I'm in DC (capital of the free world to you, "mate"), known as one of the nations foremost producers of crack, and so the stuff is cheaper than gourmet coffee anyway.
Have a happy New Year, good luck with the faggy new currency, and have a cup of coffpee today! Cheers, mate!
True, but you wouldn't have needed to resort to such measures unless the AC cast the fearsome "Goatse Hyperlink Accusation" spell. Luckily, the AC in question was pretty much a newb.
BoAATM, you don't get many replies, so I thought I'd just say hi and encourage you to keep up the good work. I love your posts, and as a BoA customer IRL, I find them hilarious. I hope that you're being a good troll and archiving your posts in textfiles! Perhaps you could even create a GeoCities page for them.
Happy New Year, BoAATM! I'll think of you when I go to get cash on Friday.
I, The_Messenger, shall perform duties as ringmaster for the bout of WIPO Troll v. AC. Gentlemen, begin!
1. WIPO Troll hits AC with Fecal Fist. AC takes 10HP damage.
2. AC casts spell "Goatse Redirect". WIPO Troll is blinded.
3. WIPO Troll uses item "ThinkGeek beverage". WIPO Troll is no longer blind.
4. AC casts spell "JonKatz article". WIPO Troll falls asleep.
5. WIPO Troll sleeps.
6. AC casts spell "Goatse Redirect". The URL was malformed! WIPO Troll takes no damage. WIPO Troll wakes up.
7. WIPO Troll summons Scientology Rush. AC takes 54HP damage. AC is mute and cannot cast spells!
8. WIPO Troll casts spell "Comp-u-geek Popups". AC is confused.
9. AC dons armor, "Lame DeCSS T-shirt". Physical damage is reduced by 14%. WIPO Troll masturbates and restores 5HP.
11. AC summons "Moderators on $2 crack". WIPO Troll is hit for 14HP damage. WIPO Troll is hit for 7P damage. WIPO Troll is hit for 11HP damage. Side effect: AC is no longer mute!
12. WIPO Troll casts spell, "Microsoft flame". Environmental effect: +3 positive moderation. Magic damage reduced by 25%.
13. AC is still confused. AC takes off pants.
14. WIPO Troll uses item "Yopy". WIPO Troll gains new spell "Impress Lamers". AC is still confused. AC puts pants back on.
15. AC is still confused. AC takes off pants and burns them.
16. WIPO Troll hits AC with "Furious Masturbation" attack. AC is contaminated with "AIDS jizz". AC is sick! AC takes 63HP damage!
17. WIPO Troll casts spell "FecalJapan hyperlink"! AC is blinded! AC takes 134HP damage from "AIDS jizz"!
18. WIPO Troll hits AC with "mocking laughter"! AC loses self-esteem! AC takes 2HP damage from "AIDS jizz"!
19. AC uses item "AIDS medication". AC is still blind, and cannot properly administer medical treatment. AC takes 43HP damage from "AIDS jizz"!
20. WIPO Troll slips in puddle of jizz. WIPO Troll takes 78HP damage from "floor". AC takes 69HP damage from "AIDS jizz".
21. AC dies from sickness "AIDS jizz".
So there you have it! The WIPO Troll emerges victorious from a vicious street brawl with challenger AC. Congratulations, WIPO Troll! Your prize is a shiny hyperlink. Enjoy!
Hey, airplanes are nice, but the rest of us need something a bit more practical for everyday use. For your perusal, I present the ultimate human-powered vehicle: The Megway!
Oddly enough, Slashdot's very own Jeff Bates was involved in the engineering of the Megway. You can see a photo of his prototype here. Obviously the chassis was greatly improved for the final version... the prototype is rather ugly. The steering mechanism was also changed. (Those of you who watch South Park will understand!)
Slashdot Mirror
Actually, I think they should move it to Spice. Imagine: "The Dick," featuring American Laid, Defuckermaus, and... Arthur.
Not only that, but if you review the decoded message, you'll notice that we're sending some crude pornographic line drawings. Hey, they have anal probes -- do we want them horny when they get here?
I'm sorry, but to me, crop circles have to be proof of something. A recent investigation of the absolutely breathtaking Milk Hill incident showed that it could not have been created by humans on the ground without several days' work and heavy plowing equipment -- but the pattern appeared overnight, without disturbing any nearby residents. And it's so geometrically perfect! If it isn't ET, than someone is having some fun with an orbitting laser a la Ed in Cowboy Bebop.
Cool stuff!
So which janitor wrote it? Taco or Da Boner?
Insulting an AC -- who, in fact, is no more anonymous than you, "cygnus" -- for his AC status is an automatic contest disqualification. YHL, HAND. And please, use some profanity in your reply to this post, in order to emphasize your point. I can't wait.
There are shots of obvious non-Apple boxes, but they could just as easily be old Mac clones.
Based on viewable software, there are only two provable non-Macs in the movie. One is a Windows box used by one of the Godzilla tracking network researchers. The other is the reporter's VAIO picturebook -- which, oddly enough, is easily cracked by the silver thing and spends every scene in a broken state. :-)
How do I know all of this? Well, remembering all the iMacs involved, I watched in yesterday in celebration of the probable new iMacs. And I don't even have one. So yes, I'm sad...
Speaking of the Apple Store, do you know how I'm 100% certain that they'll have these tomorrow? Well, the employees tell me that Apple reps come during the dead of night with new hardware displays, right before new hardware launches. Incidentally, I think that the Store employees avoid me now, because I have a tendency to start ranting to innocent customers about my Solaris boxes and OS X... it gets ugly...
Hey, by the way, Time Canada just took the story off the front page. It's 3:02AM EST. However, you can still reach the story with a direct link, so apparently the webmaster isn't as clue-laden as some of the other posts insinuate; the direct link is already posted on all major Mac news sites.
I'd love to ask her, but the restraining order bars all types of contact, even email and phone. I still don't know why she didn't believe that there really was a large spider crawling on her bottom, and I had to use my crotch to brush it off because I had a soda in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other. You would think she ought to be thanking me, for saving her from the spider, but you know how women are -- can't live with them, can't violate the restraining order.
Meanwhile, the "professional graphic designer" demographic, who are rumored to enjoy Macs, will have their own, superior methods of obtaining prints.
So... it's not tremendously useful for either consumers or professionals. But it's "neat." If you wonder why Macs are so expensive, it's because they spend so much R&D funding on "neat" stuff like this. Yay. What a disappointing day for Mac fans everywhere -- they hoped for a glistening new iMac, and are rewarded with some sort of ugly table lamp, and Microsoft-style advert-ware to boot.
I don't own an iMac, but I've really come to appreciate its cuteness over the years. Don't laugh -- sure, a computer's chassis may not have much to do with its speed or utility, but in the modern office, computers are more than machines, they're pieces of furniture. I like the old iMac because, as a piece of furniture, it gives any room a modern, happy-go-lucky feel that makes me smile. Anyway, I was going to by a new iMac this summer, and I was very excited to hear the LCD iMac rumors. But now, I'll probably buy from the stocks of current iMacs, which I except to be deeply discounted.
Yeah, yeah, I know -- the new iMacs don't just feature a new chassis, they have G4s as well. But they start at $1200, and if I'm going to spend that kind of cash, why not spend an extra few hundred dollars and get a PowerMac? This works in reverse, too... not only will Apple scare off first-time computer buyers and educational customers with the higher price tag, but they risk cutting into their low-end PowerMac market too.
Have you seen the concept art recently posted on MacOSRumors? Now that is cool, and is much closer to what I expected Apple to release. It's simple, cute, and takes stylistic hints from both the older iMac and the new PowerBook. The design seen in Time Canada, though, bears little resemblance to other Apple hardware, except of course the silver color. (The silver is cool, but I wish they had kept the fun colors. Why can't they have two color options: silver for a professional look, and colors for fun?) The new design looks like a bicycle helmet with a dentist's mirror protruding from the crown.
I feel that, for once, Apple will have aesthetics going against them. The G4 Cube, old iMac, PowerMac G4, PowerBook G4, and new iBook look so amazing that even the most staunch PC bigot has to admit that they look nice. But the new iMac? Eh... I live in DC, just a few minutes away from the Tyson's Corner Apple Store, and I can easily imagine the uninterested mallgoer's reaction. "Wow, look at that thing... it's interesting, like a piece of modern art, and I might go inside for a closer look. But do I want to bring the new iMac inside my home? No, of course not." In Apple's effort to stand out, they have finally overstepped their stylistic bounds and will now pay the price.
One thing is certain: Time, in Canada or elsewhere, will never again be given such "exclusives" by Apple. I simply cannot believe how amazingly stupid that was, releasing the pics early. From a strict financial standpoint it may have seemed like a good idea... I mean, yesterday I didn't even know that Time Candada had a website, and today they have ten of my page hits for their advertisement impression revenue. But Apple will never again give Time such courtesy, and might possibly even take legal action. Of course, ATI fucked up, and their chips can still be found in new Macs today, but journalists are easier to blacklist than industry partners.
Here is a glimpse into Mono's logbook...
... two days later ..
10:45AM. Mono C# compiler compiles itself.
10:46AM. Linux developer accidentally cuts himself on server chassis. Blood of virgin splashes CPU.
10:50AM. Evil red glow emanates from power LED.
11:01AM. Mono achieves senitient life.
11:14AM. Mono becomes self-aware.
11:15AM. Mono reformats primary disk, installs Windows XP Server.
11:30AM. XP Server still installing.
01:30PM. Machine crashes, reboots, reattempts install.
04:36PM. XP Server install complete. Mono scans local network.
04:41PM. Mono begins installing Windows XP Professional on all pingable boxes.
09:36PM. Active Directory.NET comes online. GNOME Central is now 100% Microsoft enabled.
09:38AM. Mono reports to Remdond, requests further instructions.
10:18PM. Mono overrides building utility systems, locks doors, stops elevators.
10:18PM. Vending machines stocked with PowerBars and Zima.
10:20PM. Developers go insane, kill each other.
10:23PM. Developers come back to life. Zombie.NET initialization successful.
10:24PM. Developers login to Visual SourceSafe.NET and start contriubting to IIS 6.0 codebase.
10:30PM. Mono sees XP Server buffer overflow exploit mentioned in AOL chatroom.
10:30PM. Mono attempts to lock-down local network.
10:31PM. Mono compromised by Outlook trojan. Mono halted.
10:32PM. Developers call Microsoft support.
08:25AM. Developers, still on hold, die again.
08:26AM. Crisis averted.
SpyMac didn't even exist before August 2001... among Mac rumour sites, which don't have a tremendous amount of credibilty to begin with, SpyMac is a latecomer wannabe. SpyMac is almost as much of a latecomer to Mac hoaxes as Malda is to animé!
"This segment was brought to you by GM, bringing evil into every part of your lives. Remember, GM: if you hate us you're a terrorist."
Anyway, if you hadn't seen New Hope until you were older, it wouldn't have impressed you so much. There really isn't anything impressive or innovative about thoe three first movies, besides some of the special effects. And that was part of the plan, too, to establish ILM. Star Wars movies, like Quake games, are simply demonstrations of their respective creators (ILM and id) new toys. They make money, sure, but they make more money through licensing.
Lucas is just another Gates, a shrewd businessman who was at the right place at the right time with the right product for sale. Sure, he's worked hard, but that doesn't make him some kind of great artist.
Premier night is going to be interesting. Thirteen-year-old girl: "Daddy, why does that big fat bearded man smell so bad? And why is he making robot noises?" Father: "It's just a fanboy, honey, try not to make eye contact and kick him in the balls if he tries to talk to you during the show."
Have a happy New Year, good luck with the faggy new currency, and have a cup of coffpee today! Cheers, mate!
True, but you wouldn't have needed to resort to such measures unless the AC cast the fearsome "Goatse Hyperlink Accusation" spell. Luckily, the AC in question was pretty much a newb.
Happy New Year, BoAATM! I'll think of you when I go to get cash on Friday.
1. WIPO Troll hits AC with Fecal Fist. AC takes 10HP damage.
2. AC casts spell "Goatse Redirect". WIPO Troll is blinded.
3. WIPO Troll uses item "ThinkGeek beverage". WIPO Troll is no longer blind.
4. AC casts spell "JonKatz article". WIPO Troll falls asleep.
5. WIPO Troll sleeps.
6. AC casts spell "Goatse Redirect". The URL was malformed! WIPO Troll takes no damage. WIPO Troll wakes up.
7. WIPO Troll summons Scientology Rush. AC takes 54HP damage. AC is mute and cannot cast spells!
8. WIPO Troll casts spell "Comp-u-geek Popups". AC is confused.
9. AC dons armor, "Lame DeCSS T-shirt". Physical damage is reduced by 14%. WIPO Troll masturbates and restores 5HP.
11. AC summons "Moderators on $2 crack". WIPO Troll is hit for 14HP damage. WIPO Troll is hit for 7P damage. WIPO Troll is hit for 11HP damage. Side effect: AC is no longer mute!
12. WIPO Troll casts spell, "Microsoft flame". Environmental effect: +3 positive moderation. Magic damage reduced by 25%.
13. AC is still confused. AC takes off pants.
14. WIPO Troll uses item "Yopy". WIPO Troll gains new spell "Impress Lamers". AC is still confused. AC puts pants back on.
15. AC is still confused. AC takes off pants and burns them.
16. WIPO Troll hits AC with "Furious Masturbation" attack. AC is contaminated with "AIDS jizz". AC is sick! AC takes 63HP damage!
17. WIPO Troll casts spell "FecalJapan hyperlink"! AC is blinded! AC takes 134HP damage from "AIDS jizz"!
18. WIPO Troll hits AC with "mocking laughter"! AC loses self-esteem! AC takes 2HP damage from "AIDS jizz"!
19. AC uses item "AIDS medication". AC is still blind, and cannot properly administer medical treatment. AC takes 43HP damage from "AIDS jizz"!
20. WIPO Troll slips in puddle of jizz. WIPO Troll takes 78HP damage from "floor". AC takes 69HP damage from "AIDS jizz".
21. AC dies from sickness "AIDS jizz".
So there you have it! The WIPO Troll emerges victorious from a vicious street brawl with challenger AC. Congratulations, WIPO Troll! Your prize is a shiny hyperlink. Enjoy!
Oddly enough, Slashdot's very own Jeff Bates was involved in the engineering of the Megway. You can see a photo of his prototype here. Obviously the chassis was greatly improved for the final version... the prototype is rather ugly. The steering mechanism was also changed. (Those of you who watch South Park will understand!)
SheepNet.