Wow, you aren't kidding. I used to service those original iMacs while working at CompUSSR. You had to disassemble half the machine to put more RAM in it. Replacing almost any other component required you to discharge the freaking caps on the monitor for fear of electrocution. Not fun stuff.
...how'd you like to be a member of that interview team?
"OK, we need to find someone that can take our flagship, multi-million dollar product and add a layer of function and complexity onto it not yet realized in the electronics field anywhere."
I mean, unless the designers of the Walkman or Gameboy come strolling in, what kind of candidate is it going to take to fill this position?
I'm sure that if Billy G. and the boys really wanted to make a Windows OS kernel that did nothing but play DVD's, they could make it shit-hot fast too.
...suggest that the product would be broken and unusable in a year without the PSP...
This is always my favorite to hear from sales monkeys. "Yeah, we've had like 15 of those Nintendo GameCubes come back in not working this week..." I once had a kid tell me that it would be smart to buy a service plan on an ethernet cable. "Never know when those things are going to break". He literally said that. It was hilarious.
You can always tell who's worked retail and who hasn't.
Slashdotters without retail experience: "I went into Best Buy to purchase a wireless router, and the sales drone dared to try and sell me a replacement plan on it! I laughed and told him that I had forgotten more about computers than he will ever know, and that because of this I knew that if my router breaks at anytime in the next 10 years, I can bring it back in to any Best Buy in the nation and demand a full refund, no questions asked!"
Slashdotters with retail experience: "To quote Ben Affleck, 'The customer is always an asshole!'"
Anyway, my retail horror story:
After two years of tech work at CompUSSR, I was literally on my last day. About 3:00 in the afternoon a lady, her husband, and son bring in a computer they had purchased about a month ago. It was fuxored, wouldn't boot, etc; she wanted a brand new machine, and was going to part heaven and earth to get it.
CompUSSR policy at the time was no refunds/exchanges after 14 days. CompUSSR policy was also that if the customer had problems with their machines, they first needed to call our support 800 number to initially trouble shoot the problem. All you people with retail tech support experience, I'll pause to let you have a good laugh at that one........Anyway, needless to say that 9 times out of 10 when a customer brought their computer into us first with problems, we pretty muched dropped what we were doing and at least took a cursory look at it. Since I was just treading water anyway running out the clock, I volunteered.
Well, it turns out this computers problem was a trashed Internet Explorer. The lady, who was hot to begin with, had went off with one of the managers, who was I'm sure repeating the mantra all sales managers do when a customer brings in a computer demanding an exchange: Upsale...Upsale...Upsale. I talked to the husband and son for a few minutes, and determined that they had attempted to install a new version of IE, but had apparently got scared half-way through and bailed on the process. With a shutdown-reboot. Nice.
OK, so we know what the problem is now, and I'm pretty confident I can fix the machine by running the setup of IE from a CD we had at the time. Might take a little hoop jumping here and there, but it can probably be done (You know I'll say this for CompUSA: the job sucked, but damned if I wasn't a fucking good tech by the time I got out of there. Those kind of jobs: you see it all). One problem: CompUSSR policy (you know whats coming now) states that we are only responsible for fixing hardware issues: software issues will cost you a flat fee of $99.95 (or whatever it was back then).
Well about this time the lady comes back over with the sales manager at her heel, and when she hears this she pretty much loses it. How dare I tell her it's going to cost $100 to fix this computer, we didn't do anything to it, it's your responsibility, this is ridiculous I want my money back, you're going to fix it for free, blah blah blah for near on 10 minutes straight.
So there I am, straight in this bitches crosshairs eating flaming death by the metric ton. The sales manager is about as useless as you might imagine in this situation, piping up only to remind the bitch every couple minutes that he can't give her a refund or exchange. I think the fucker actually left mid-argument to leave me to fend for myself. Eventually I get a word in edgwise, practically yell "Let me talk to my manager" and retreat to the safety of the tech department. Eventually Sales Manager finds his way back there, and it's agreed that I'm going to go ahead and fix her computer for free. At this point I don't even care, I just want the day to end.
An hour later I've got the thing working again, and take it out to the front couter to demonstrate as such for all parties. WonderBitch gives me a look the entire time like she can barely surpress her gag reflex at the mear knowledge of my existance. As I'm opening up every dam
For the modern right, "tolerance" and "open-mindedness" only apply to ideas they agree with. Everything else is "hate speech" and thus deserving of complete extermination.
Wow, it works both ways, doesn't it? What does that tell you about the state of American politics?
One wonders why someone that can't afford food would have spent money on a computer on which to play these games.
You're kidding, right?
In high school/college I worked summers at a convenience store in my tiny, hick Kansas town. A few of the things I witnessed while working there:
- I saw a lady try and buy dogfood with food stamps.
- I saw a lady purchase two 16oz Pepsi bottles, and insist they be rung up seperately. Each one rung up for about $1.05, and she paid for each one with $2 in food stamps. She then took the change received back from each one and bought a pack of smokes.
- I can't tell you how many times people would try to buy beer with food stamps. The best part was when they'd get all pissed off when we wouldn't do it, and talk about how we couldn't tell them how to spend "their money".
Not to go Right Wing Facists on anyone, but I would guess than 9 times out of 10, people on food stamps don't have a history of making wise purchase decisions.
...because the upside on something like this is almost unlimited.
What would you give for the opportunity to get some ground-floor money in on the Sony Walkman, or Nintendo Gameboy, or even any number of those cheesey game/watch things Radio Shack was selling by the truckload a few years ago? Mobile devices are one of those items that, if it hits, EVERYBODY gets one.
'What would owning the operating system on which IBM is dependent be worth? History would suggest we look to Microsoft for comparisons,'
Translation: "Look Wall Street and market analysts, we're going to soon own something of value, as far as you know! Please change your rating of us from "Wipe your ass with the stock certificates" to "Eh, keep em around, you never know"!
Fark has editors that greenlight stories. They just greenlight a fuck-lot more of them. And yes, they get lots of "This happened yesterday" and "Repeat LOLZ!!1!" stories as well.
You know, I really don't think it's too much to ask that people in the military with access to confidential electronic documents NOT install Kazaa or Limewire or whatever on the computers that access these documents.
Seriously, I work for a university and we ban P2P apps. The military needs to get their shit together on this issue.
Slashdot Mirror
Wow, you aren't kidding. I used to service those original iMacs while working at CompUSSR. You had to disassemble half the machine to put more RAM in it. Replacing almost any other component required you to discharge the freaking caps on the monitor for fear of electrocution. Not fun stuff.
...how'd you like to be a member of that interview team?
"OK, we need to find someone that can take our flagship, multi-million dollar product and add a layer of function and complexity onto it not yet realized in the electronics field anywhere."
I mean, unless the designers of the Walkman or Gameboy come strolling in, what kind of candidate is it going to take to fill this position?
Yeah, just like SP2 wasn't going to break anything either.
It is the destiny of this title to one day rise up and destroy all mankind.
Stories Slashdotted so I can't be sure, but no Proof of Life on Mars bet? Do these guys know something the rest of us don't?
I'm sure that if Billy G. and the boys really wanted to make a Windows OS kernel that did nothing but play DVD's, they could make it shit-hot fast too.
Dear Mr. Bush,
Please give us a large research grant.
Love,
Scientists
Because otherwise all that footage taken at Sea World would have been for nothing!
In an industry where shrink routinely touches 2%, they're right to be paranoid.
...suggest that the product would be broken and unusable in a year without the PSP...
This is always my favorite to hear from sales monkeys. "Yeah, we've had like 15 of those Nintendo GameCubes come back in not working this week..." I once had a kid tell me that it would be smart to buy a service plan on an ethernet cable. "Never know when those things are going to break". He literally said that. It was hilarious.
You can always tell who's worked retail and who hasn't.
Slashdotters without retail experience: "I went into Best Buy to purchase a wireless router, and the sales drone dared to try and sell me a replacement plan on it! I laughed and told him that I had forgotten more about computers than he will ever know, and that because of this I knew that if my router breaks at anytime in the next 10 years, I can bring it back in to any Best Buy in the nation and demand a full refund, no questions asked!"
Slashdotters with retail experience: "To quote Ben Affleck, 'The customer is always an asshole!'"
Anyway, my retail horror story: After two years of tech work at CompUSSR, I was literally on my last day. About 3:00 in the afternoon a lady, her husband, and son bring in a computer they had purchased about a month ago. It was fuxored, wouldn't boot, etc; she wanted a brand new machine, and was going to part heaven and earth to get it.
CompUSSR policy at the time was no refunds/exchanges after 14 days. CompUSSR policy was also that if the customer had problems with their machines, they first needed to call our support 800 number to initially trouble shoot the problem. All you people with retail tech support experience, I'll pause to let you have a good laugh at that one........Anyway, needless to say that 9 times out of 10 when a customer brought their computer into us first with problems, we pretty muched dropped what we were doing and at least took a cursory look at it. Since I was just treading water anyway running out the clock, I volunteered.
Well, it turns out this computers problem was a trashed Internet Explorer. The lady, who was hot to begin with, had went off with one of the managers, who was I'm sure repeating the mantra all sales managers do when a customer brings in a computer demanding an exchange: Upsale...Upsale...Upsale. I talked to the husband and son for a few minutes, and determined that they had attempted to install a new version of IE, but had apparently got scared half-way through and bailed on the process. With a shutdown-reboot. Nice.
OK, so we know what the problem is now, and I'm pretty confident I can fix the machine by running the setup of IE from a CD we had at the time. Might take a little hoop jumping here and there, but it can probably be done (You know I'll say this for CompUSA: the job sucked, but damned if I wasn't a fucking good tech by the time I got out of there. Those kind of jobs: you see it all). One problem: CompUSSR policy (you know whats coming now) states that we are only responsible for fixing hardware issues: software issues will cost you a flat fee of $99.95 (or whatever it was back then).
Well about this time the lady comes back over with the sales manager at her heel, and when she hears this she pretty much loses it. How dare I tell her it's going to cost $100 to fix this computer, we didn't do anything to it, it's your responsibility, this is ridiculous I want my money back, you're going to fix it for free, blah blah blah for near on 10 minutes straight.
So there I am, straight in this bitches crosshairs eating flaming death by the metric ton. The sales manager is about as useless as you might imagine in this situation, piping up only to remind the bitch every couple minutes that he can't give her a refund or exchange. I think the fucker actually left mid-argument to leave me to fend for myself. Eventually I get a word in edgwise, practically yell "Let me talk to my manager" and retreat to the safety of the tech department. Eventually Sales Manager finds his way back there, and it's agreed that I'm going to go ahead and fix her computer for free. At this point I don't even care, I just want the day to end.
An hour later I've got the thing working again, and take it out to the front couter to demonstrate as such for all parties. WonderBitch gives me a look the entire time like she can barely surpress her gag reflex at the mear knowledge of my existance. As I'm opening up every dam
What are you talking about? We're fucked now if the power goes out.
You Bastards! You blew it up!
Oops, wrong movie.
I hate to say it, but this statement has just taken 5 minutes off your sex life.
For the modern right, "tolerance" and "open-mindedness" only apply to ideas they agree with. Everything else is "hate speech" and thus deserving of complete extermination.
Wow, it works both ways, doesn't it? What does that tell you about the state of American politics?
One wonders why someone that can't afford food would have spent money on a computer on which to play these games.
You're kidding, right?
In high school/college I worked summers at a convenience store in my tiny, hick Kansas town. A few of the things I witnessed while working there:
- I saw a lady try and buy dogfood with food stamps.
- I saw a lady purchase two 16oz Pepsi bottles, and insist they be rung up seperately. Each one rung up for about $1.05, and she paid for each one with $2 in food stamps. She then took the change received back from each one and bought a pack of smokes.
- I can't tell you how many times people would try to buy beer with food stamps. The best part was when they'd get all pissed off when we wouldn't do it, and talk about how we couldn't tell them how to spend "their money".
Not to go Right Wing Facists on anyone, but I would guess than 9 times out of 10, people on food stamps don't have a history of making wise purchase decisions.
...because the upside on something like this is almost unlimited.
What would you give for the opportunity to get some ground-floor money in on the Sony Walkman, or Nintendo Gameboy, or even any number of those cheesey game/watch things Radio Shack was selling by the truckload a few years ago? Mobile devices are one of those items that, if it hits, EVERYBODY gets one.
Well technically 802.11a runs at 5Ghz; maybe that's close enough to cause interference, I don't know.
But the real question is, considering the speed and price of 802.11g these days, why would you ever choose to run 802.11a?
Thank you, BOFH.
Not unless you find a way to run your wireless network at 5.8Ghz.
From an ergonomic standpoint if for nothing else. You're supposed to be looking at your screen, not scrunched over your keyboard hunting-and-pecking.
'What would owning the operating system on which IBM is dependent be worth? History would suggest we look to Microsoft for comparisons,'
Translation: "Look Wall Street and market analysts, we're going to soon own something of value, as far as you know! Please change your rating of us from "Wipe your ass with the stock certificates" to "Eh, keep em around, you never know"!
Fark has editors that greenlight stories. They just greenlight a fuck-lot more of them. And yes, they get lots of "This happened yesterday" and "Repeat LOLZ!!1!" stories as well.
You know, I really don't think it's too much to ask that people in the military with access to confidential electronic documents NOT install Kazaa or Limewire or whatever on the computers that access these documents.
Seriously, I work for a university and we ban P2P apps. The military needs to get their shit together on this issue.
"Please tell us the biggest lie you can think of."