OOG ALWAYS WONDER WHAT HAPPEN TO COUSIN THARG SINCE HE DISAPPEAR IN MOUNTAIN!!! OOG THINK THARG FREEZE TO DEATH OR EATEN BY MAMOUTH BUT NOW ANGRY TO LEARN THARG MURDERED!!!
OOG THINK CAVEMAN GROK BEHIND MURDER (SINCE OJ SIMPSON NOT ALIVE AT THAT TIME AND USE KNIFE INSTEAD OF ARROW), BUT OOG PROBABLY HAVE TO HIRE UNFROZEN CAVEMAN LAWYER CIRROC TO BE ABLE TO BRING REAL KILLER TO JUSTICE!!! OOG AVENGE DEAD COUSIN THARG!!!
Congrats, good troll. (Heh I'm starting to sound like those arrogant "trollbusting" Slashbots).
You know, I thought the headline said "13 Year-Old... Commits Suicide." That would mean he killed himself... he died by his own hand... he made the conscious decision to end his life. Period. Did any of the school administrators physically commit the act of murder? No.
And who was to blame for the act of hacking? Perhaps the actual person (the 13 year old) who commited the act of breaking into security holes? I'd love to know how the admins are directly to blame for this. Maybe they might be dumbasses for not being aware of the holes, but that doesn't make them directly responsible. If a burglar breaks into your house, is it your fault for not having a foolproof million dollar security system with iron bars, laser motion sensors, high tech alarms, and hired armed guards? Nope, the burglar is charged with the crime of breaking and entering.
Sorry, but as fun as it is to use a tragic death to lash out at things we don't like, there's something called reason. The kid did a dumb thing by hacking the school's computers, and when he found himself about to be punished for his misdeeds (maybe the punishment seems a little harsh, but that's another issue) he wasn't stable enough to handle it and made to decision to kill himself. It's sad enough that the kid killed himself without a bunch of dumb gawkers sitting around trying to make him a martyr.
OOG SEE INACCURATE CAVEMAN REFERENCE POSTED ON HERE AND TAKE ISSUE!!! OOG NEVER ACTUALLY PAY FOR SEX, OOG JUST CLUB CAVE-HO WITH CLUB AND DRAG BACK TO CAVE REGARDLESS OF WHAT OTHER CAVEMAN THINK!!! OOG ALSO REMIND YOU THAT CURENCY OF DAY BE EITHER FISH HEADS OR FAT SACKS OF CAVE-WEED, NOT BOAR'S TEETH!!! OOG KNOW BOAR'S TEETH ONLY USED FOR SEX AMONG GAY CAVEMEN AND CAVE-BONDAGE FREAKS (OOG NORMAL)!!! OOG ALSO REMIND YOU THAT IN OLD CAVE LANGUAGE "UNF UNGA BOOG OOG LOOGA" ACTUALLY MEAN "I HAVE SMALL PENIS AND LIKE RECIEVING ANAL SEX TO POINT OF BLEEDING!!!" OOG NOW HAVE REASON TO QUESTION POSTER'S SEXUALITY!!!
OOG ALSO AGREE WITH STATEMENT THAT E2 HAVE OBNOXIOUS HERD MENTALITY IN VOTING PATTERNS THAT CAUSE CRAPPY NODES ABOUT POPULAR TOPICS (DUMB SEX NODES FROM UGLY FEMALES, LIBERAL RANTS, NONSENSE RANTS) TO BE HIGHLY INFLATED DESPITE MINIMAL VALUE!!!
OOG AMUSED AT GETTING DOUBLE DIGIT REPUTATIONS FOR EACH NODE OOG WRITE ON E2 IN USUAL CAVEMAN STYLE!!! OOG READ GOOD STUFF ON E2, BUT SO MUCH OF IT OVERSHADOWED BY CRAP LIKE "HOW I ALMOST KILLED MYSELF MASTURBATING" AND "I WILL REMOVE THE FUCKING TOILET SEAT IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP!!!"
OOG ALSO LAMENT THAT GOOD FACTUAL NODES OVERSHADOWED BY IDIOTS WHO LIKE TO CUT AND PASTE LARGE DOCUMENTS PAGE BY PAGE OR POST ENDLESS MINUTIAE!!!
FINALLY OOG ANNOYED AT XP WHORING (BY WRITING EXCESSIVELY SEXUAL, PERSONAL, INANE, OR POLITICAL NODES) AND NODING FOR NUMBERS WHICH TAKE PLACE EN MASSE!!! OOG FIND IT FUNNY THAT SOME PEOPLE MANAGE TO MAKE EDITOR IN COUPLE OF WEEKS SIMPLY BY MASS NODING OR WRITING ENDLESS DRIVEL WHICH APPEAL TO MOB VOTING MENTALITY (WHICH ALSO XP PACK RAPE ANYTHING QUESTIONING E2 OR E2 DRONE MENTALITY)!!! OOG SAD THAT SOME OF MOST FLAWED, OBNOXIOUS, AND TRIGGER-HAPPY PEOPLE ON E2 HAPPEN TO BE HIGH RANKING EDITORS OR GODS WHO GO MORE ON PERSONAL OR POPULAR CRUSADES RATHER THAN TRYING TO KEEP ORDER AND BALANCE!!!
OOG, IN CONCLUSION, THINK EVEN SLASHDOT AND KURO5HIN (BUT NOT PLASTIC.COM, WHICH SUCK OOG'S CAVE-NUTS) KICK CRAP OUT OF E2!!!
OOG INVENT FIRE, NOT GROG!!!
on
The DeCSS Haiku
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· Score: 4
OOG ANGRY PEOPLE NOT CREDIT OOG WITH DISCOVERY OF FIRE!!! OOG SPEND LOT OF TIME WORKING ON WAY TO START FIRE SO OOG COULD SMOKE FAT BAG OF CAVE WEED!!! OOG PISSED THAT STUPID GROG STEAL OOG IDEA AND TAKE CREDIT FOR OOG GENIUS!!! OOG STILL HOLD PATENT ON FIRE THOUGH, SO OOG NOT WANT SOMEONE REVERSE ENGINEERING OOG FIRE DISCOVERY!!!
HOW OOG FAVORITE CAVE-BITCH DOING??? OOG RUN OUT OF CAVE-WEED TO SMOKE AND NEED CAVE-SEX AND CAVE-HEAD!!! OOG WANT BRITNEY COME HERE SO OOG CAN CLUB BRITNEY OVER HEAD AND BRING HER BACK TO CAVE!!!
OOG WONDER WHY BRITNEY SPEARS POST TO SLASHDOT!!! OOG THINK BRITNEY SHOULD BE BACK IN OOG'S CAVE GIVING CAVE-SEX!!! OOG HAVE NICE ONE NIGHT CAVE-STAND WITH BRITNEY AND WANT MORE!!! OOG GIVE BRITNEY MANY FISH HEADS FOR MORE CAVE-SEX!!! OOG ALSO BREAK HEAD WITH OPEN SOURCE CD IF BRITNEY NO COME BACK TO CAVE!!!
OOG HAVE POWERFUL CAVEMAN IMMUNE SYSTEM WHEN STONED ON CAVE WEED!!! OOG FIND GREEN MICROBE AND BREAK HEAD WITH OPEN SOURCE CD!!! BUT OOG NOT MIND BEING SENT INTO SPACE TO TEST COSMIC RAYS!!! OOG THEN GET FREAKISHLY BIG AND STRONG AND GREEN AND THEN BECOME LAME INCREDIBLE HULK PARODY WITH HIS OWN COMIC!!!
SPEAKING OF WHICH, OOG WANT OWN COMIC!!! SOMEONE GET JACK KIRBY AND STAN LEE TO MAKE SILVER AGE OOG COMIC!!! OOG BREAK LEADER'S HEAD WITH OPEN SOURCE CD!!!
I apologize for my recent "sabbatical" from the slashdot community, but as you would maybe know I had been frozen in ice, thawed out, and been in the attendence of several law classes at Harvard Unviersity. With my bar examination approaching, I decided it would be a good idea to brush up on my law here.
Now I want you all to understand something. I am just a caveman, who was frozen in ice and thawed out by your modern people. Your world frightens and confuses me!
When I check the time on my brand new Rolex, I wonder if little magic pixies inside are turning the hands. When I watch one my 7 HBO channels in my 60 inch big screen television, I think to myself "how did these people get trapped inside this giant box?" And when I drink a bottle of vintage Dom Perignon champagne from a crystal glass, I wonder if the burning sensation from the bubbles is really caused by tiny demons who live inside the champagne and are trying to get inside me and kill me. My primitive ways and customs prevent me from understanding your modern culture.
But there is one thing I am certain of! 2600 pretty much has no hope of winning at this court level. Not only is Judge Lewis Kaplan promote firm and strict adherence to the poorly written DMCA, but he is clearly acting on his past bias as shown by his refusal to recuse himself for conflict of interest or even allow Garbus to speak on such. The only legal advice my caveman mind can offer is for 2600 to ride this loss and take it to a higher court, placing emphasis on Kaplan and his obvious bias and conflict of interest in favor of the MPAA. Thank you for your time.
A shocking event in the ongoing saga of OOG
on
Helicopter In Space
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· Score: 3
Location: A rocky patch of desert land located a few miles past the outskirts of a thriving metropolitan city. A lonely interstate highway is all that passes through the area. The climate is usually hot, but strangely, a small, but heavy, blizzard is rapidly approaching. Snow begins to fall heavily over the desert as the dirt on the ground begins to freeze over. The land itself is flat and nondescript, save for a large rock formation near where the highway runs. A large opening is present in the rock, marking the entrance of a vast cave. Oddly, several cables jut out of the cave's entrance. Large clouds of green smoke are also escaping from the cave.
The clouds of smoke suddenly cease to appear as the sound of footsteps come from the cave. As the footsteps grow louder, a large caveman stumbles out of the cave. He staggers around confused, as if under some sort of spell. In his left hand are the remnants of a used marijuana cigarette, and in his right hand he clutches a compact disc, on which the letters "open source" can be seen. On close inspection, the caveman appears to be none other than OOG_THE_CAVEMAN. As the blizzard roars, OOG, clearly affected by marijuana, walks aimlessly around the land.
OOG_THE_CAVEMAN: ARRRGHHHH!!! THIS GOOD CAVE-WEED!!! OOG LIKE BOGARTING FAT JOINT!!! OOG FUCKING HIGH AS HELL!!! MUST GO OUT AND GATHER FRITOS TO SATISFY OVERPOWERING MUNCHIES!!!
OOG walks in no clear direction. He appears to be heading towards the desolate highway which streaks across the land. But being incapacitated, OOG has great difficulty walking and maintaining his balance. Without warning, OOG stumbles over a rock and falls flat to the frozen ground, only a few yards from the highway. Because he is so stoned, OOG is unable to get up.
OOG_THE_CAVEMAN: OOG FALLEN AND OOG CAN'T GET UP!!! OOG ALSO HAVE PROBLEM STANDING UP FROM GROUND!!! CAVE-WEED REALLY GOING TO OOG HEAD!!!
OOG, unable to get up, passes out while lying on the frozen ground. The snow falls mercilessly and freezes to form ice as it hits the ground. After a few hours, our hero OOG lies trapped in a block of ice near the side of the highway.
The storm suddenly vanishes, but OOG is still embedded in the ice. Suddenly, a large, obnoxious SUV bearing several Harvard bumper stickers and driven by two yuppie students appears on the highway. One of them notices the frozen caveman and tells the driver to stop. Intrigued, they go outside where OOG is imprisoned in ice and stare at the block.
Student #1: Why isn't that OOG_THE_CAVEMAN frozen in that block of ice?
Student #2: Indeed it IS OOG! I remember reading many of his insightful posts on the website, Slashdot!
Student #1: Yes, he makes many quality posts... but many of those bad moderators are prejudiced towards intelligent caveman and abuse the 'overrated' tag to moderate him down without risking justice via metamoderation.
Student #2: Well, I think we should help out OOG and thaw him out. I just hope he doesn't break our heads with his open source cd.
The students pick up the large block of ice with OOG in it and stuff it in the vast, vast, vast backseat of their ridiculously oversized SUV. They head back on a long road trip to Harvard, which they both attend. When they arrive, they head to their dorm, where they leave OOG to thaw out in the bathtub, and then go out to eat. OOG wakes up, but because he is still incredibly high, has no idea what he is doing. He stumbles out, wanders around the Harvard campus, inadvertently attending several advanced law classes and learning much about law in the process. Dizzy and still stoned, OOG finally staggers into a large computer lab, where he passes out on the floor.
OOG NOT FEEL GOOD.. OOG REALLY FUCKED UP RIGHT NOW BUT HAVE SENSE HE IS NEEDED ON SLASHDOT!!! OOG CHECK NEW STORIES!!! OOG STONED AS SHIT BUT WILL TRY TO HELP A BIT ANYWAY!!! OOG KNOW LOTS ABOUT CAVE-DRUGS!!! OOG FIND FUNNY POINTED PLANT WHEN LOOKING FOR MAMMOTH TO EAT, AND LEARN HOW TO CULTIVATE IT SOLELY USING INTERNET SOURCES!!! OOG SUGGEST YAHOOKA.COM!!! YAHOOKA.COM VERY GOOD RESOURCE, LINK TO MUCH INFORMATION ON CAVE WEED!!! OOG GROW ALL HIS CAVE-WEED HIMSELF NOW!!! OOG LINK TO GUIDES OOG USE TO LEARN HOW TO GROW CAVE WEED!!! MAYBE OOG GO ON TO DOMESTICATE OTHER PLANTS LATER, INVENT CONCEPT OF AGRICULTURE AND BUILD BASIS OF CIVILIZATION BY ALLOWING CAVEMEN TO LIVE IN ONE STABLE PLACE WITHOUT HAVING TO MOVE!!! BUT OOG TOO BUSY WITH CAVE-DRUGS AND CLUBBING CAVE-HO'S!!! OOG JUST GOING TO GET REALLY FUCKING HIGH!!! SINCE OOG HIGH, OOG WANT TO APOLOGIZE IF INFORMATION NOT HELPFUL!!! OOG NOT READ STORY AND COMMENTS!!! OOG TRY NOT BE LIKE MOST SLASHDOT POSTER, WHO READ HEADLINE AND THEN POST!!! OOG MAY BE STONED OFF ASS, BUT OOG NOT WANT END UP LIKE SIGNAL 11!!!
OH NO, OOG'S SUNDIAL SAY IT ONLY FEW MORE HOURS TIL 4:20!!! OOG MUST GET NEXT BATCH OF CAVE-WEED READY TO SMOKE OUT!!! ARRGHHH OOG NEED CAVE MAMMOTH AND FRITOS TOO... OOG GOT CAVE-MUNCHIES BAD!!!
OOG NO NEED READ ALL THIS NONSENSE ABOUT GEEK GIRLS ON SLASHDOT!!! THAT WHAT OOG FAVORITE PORN SITES FOR ANYWAY!!! BUT SINCE SO MANY POSTERS SEEM NOT TO KNOW SHIT ABOUT WOMEN, OOG THE CAVE PIMP DIVULGE HIS KNOWLEDGE OF GETTING SWEET CAVE LOVING!!!
OOG READ POSTS HERE AND STARTLED ABOUT PEOPLE HERE WONDERING WHY THEY CANT FIND GIRLS!!! OOG KNOW NO WORTHWHILE GIRL COULD STAND OBNOXIOUS PSEUDO INTELLECTUALISM OF MANY POSTERS HERE!!! SO MANY SLASHDOT PEOPLE KNOW-IT-ALLS, KARMA WHORES, ELITISTS, ETC!!! IF YOU LIKE THIS IN REAL LIFE, NO WONDER PEOPLE NO LIKE GEEKS!!! PERHAPS LEAVE MONITOR, CLOSE PROGRAMMING WINDOW, AND LEARN ABOUT REAL LIFE!!! AFTER ALL, OOG NEVER GO NEAR GEEK CAVE WOMAN BECAUSE OOG CANT STAND SUCH ONE DIMENSIONAL MENTALITY!!!
OOG ALSO NOTICE HOW CERTAIN PEOPLE USE GENDER STORIES AS WINDOW TO START BRAGGING ABOUT CONQUESTS AND TRY ONE UP PEOPLE!!! GUESS WHAT, OOG CLUB MORE CAVE WOMEN AND DRAG HOME TO CAVE THAN YOU HAVE KARMA POINTS!!! BESIDES, NOBODY CARE ABOUT YOUR LITTLE BRAGGING STORIES!!! OOG BET YOU ONLY GET RELATIONSHIP BY SETTLING FOR UNATTRACTIVE CAVE WOMAN!!! IF YOU WANT ADVICE ON WOMEN, OOG HAVE THIS TO SAY: CLUB WOMAN AND BRING HOME TO CAVE!!! IF THAT FAIL, GET CAVE WOMAN DRUNK ON CAVE BEER AND HIGH ON CAVE WEED!!! THAT NEVER FAIL!!!
ARSTECHNICA MAKE IMPORTANT POINT ABOUT HOW AQUA INTERFACE VERY GOOD FOR NEWBIES, BUT LIMIT EXPERIENCED USERS!! APPLE DOING RIGHT THING IN MAKING GLITTERY INTERFACE WITH FEW MOVING PARTS, BECAUSE HELP NEW USERS AND MAKE THEM NOT WORRY!! BUT NOT EVERYONE IS NEW USER!! MANY PEOPLE USE MACOS BECAUSE DETAILS OF MACOS BEHAVIOR MAKE WAYS THEY CAN USE FILES AND INTERFACE MOST EFFICIENTLY, AND SOME OF THEM LIMITED GREATLY BY LACK OF THINGS LIKE POPUP FOLDERS AND DRAG&DROP APPLICATION MENU!! OOG UNDERSTAND IMPORTANT NOT INCLUDE MANY CONFUSING FEATURES TO BLAST NEWBIES, BUT OOG NOT THINK NECCICARY REMOVE FUNCTIONALITY ALTOGETHER!! OOG THINK POSSIBLE MAKE DISTRACTING FEATURES DISABLED BY DEFAULT, BUT STILL THERE FOR POWER USERS!!
OOG THINK APPLE NEED TO REALIZE FLEXIBILITY IS IMPORTANT!! CONSISTENT USER INTERFACE IS GOOD, BUT SHOULD ALLOW USER TO CUSTOMIZE INTERFACE IF USER IS CAPABLE OF HANDLING IT!! IN LINUX, OOG HAVE ULTIMATE FLEXIBILITY BECAUSE DISPLAY INTERFACE OF X , WINDOW MANAGER, WIDGET LIBRARIES AND DESKTOP ENVIRONMENT ALL SEPERATE MODULAR PARTS!! OOG CAN CHOOSE WHAT NEEDED!! SOMETIMES PARTS NOT WORK TOGETHER AND ACT REDUNDANT, BUT OOG CAN TWEAK THEM TO MAKE WORK!!! OOG HAPPY!!
OOG WOULD LIKE APPLE TO MAKE FLEXIBILITY LIKE LINUX IN FINAL MAC OS X!! OOG SEE APPLE GOING SLIGHTLY THAT WAY BY MAKING DOCK SEPERATE APP!! BUT NOT ENOUGH SIMPLY MAKE FUNCTIONALITY POSSIBLE AND EXPECT THIRD PARTY DEVELOPERS TO FIGURE OUT ON OWN!! APPLE NEED HELP THIRD PARTY DEVELOPERS FIGURE OUT!! MAYBE EVEN RELEASE CODE FOR THINGS LIKE POP-UP WINDOWS AND APP SWITCHER TEAROFF UNDER ASPL, SO CAN BE PORTED TO MAC OS X EVEN THOUGH APPLE NOT PORT THESE THINGS!! APPLE NEED ANTICIPATE EXPERIENCED USERS ARE GOING TO NEED INTERFACE MORE IMMEDIATELY POWERFUL THAN AQUA!! APPLE ALSO NEED ANTICIPATE NOT EVERYONE LIKE HORIZONTAL LINES WITH ALTERNATING SHADES OF GRAY AND TEXT ON TOP!! OOG NOT LIKE THOSE LINES!! HURT HEAD!!! OOG NOT LIKE UNNECCICARILY PANED INTERFACES OR ANYTHING WASTING SCREEN SPACE!!! BUT AQUA BUILT AROUND IDEA OF USING ALL SCREEN SPACE POSSIBLE!! THIS GOOD FOR SOME PEOPLE, BUT STILL LOOK AT AQUA HURT OOG HEAD!! APPLE NEED ANTICIPATE WHAT USERS WANT!! APPLE NEED REALIZE WHEN UPGRADE TO MAC OS X, MANY USERS TRY TO HACK INTERFACE!! APPLE NEED TO ACCOMODATE USERS AND RELEASE APPEARANCE THEME API, AND MAKE BEGINNINGS OF API FOR REPLACEMENT TO THINGS LIKE DOCK AND MAXIMIZE BUTTON TO PLUG INTO!! OTHERWISE MANY OF APPLE'S MOST EXPERIENCED CUSTOMERS WASTE LOTS OF TIME, AND THEN STILL LIVE WITH QUIRKY INTERFACE WITH STRANGE BUGS BECAUSE HACKS NOT DONE RIGHT, AND INCOMPATIBLE WITH SOME APPLICATIONS BECUASE HACKS WORK AROUND OS RATHER THAN GOING THROUGH IT!!!
AT VERY LEAST, IF APPLE GOING TO IGNORE NEEDS OF EXPERIENCED USERS IN INTERFACE, APPLE NEED TO GUIDE INTERFACE HACKERS!!! EVEN IF APPLE NOT IMPLEMENT THESE THINGS THEMSELVES, NEED TO ENSURE THAT INTERFACE HACKS GO SMOOTHLY!!! WOULD BE VERY SAD TO SEE QUARTZ DISPLAY TECHNOLOGY SHACKLED PERMANENTLY TO LIMITED INTERFACE!!! WOULD ALSO BE SAD TO SEE HUNDREDS OF MANHOURS WASTED IN REVERSE-ENGINEERING INTERFACE SO HACKS CAN BE MADE, SINCE TIME COULD BE MUCH BETTER SPENT IN MAKING SHAREWARE FOR NEW OS!! OOG THINK IT NOT IN BEST INTERESTS IF ALL OF PROGRAMMERS INTERESTED IN MAKING WORKAROUNDS FOR AQUA RATHER THAN MAKING SOFTWARE TO EXTEND OS X FUNCTIONALITY!!
OOG STEAL TRANSLATOR FROM COMPANY, SO OOG SEE IF SPANISH WORK ON TRANSLATOR THROUGH TESTING VIA SLASHDOT POSTING:
OOG ESCRIBE ESTE PÁRRAFO EN ESPAÑOL!!! A OOG LE GUSTA APLASTAR LAS CABEZAS CON LOS DISCOS COMPACTOS DE FUENTE ABIERTA!!! A OOG TAMBIÉN LE GUSTA FUMAR LA MARIGUANA DE CUEVA, BEBIR LA CERVEZA DE CUEVA, Y CHINGAR A LAS MUJERES DE CUEVA!!! OOG COME MUCHAS CABEZAS DE LOS PECES!!! PERO LA PERSONAS QUE A OOG NO LE GUSTAN SON TODOS LOS ÁRBITROS QUE NO ENTENDEN A OOG Y JUZGAN QUE LOS PÁRRAFOS DE OOG SON EXAGERADO (PORQUE NO TIENEN UN RAZÓN BIEN PARA SU MODERANDO MAL!!!) SI OOG JAMÁS ENCONTRA A UN DE LOS ÁRBITROS MALES, OOG LE DARÍA UN GOLPE EN EL CULO!!!
OOG HAVE SUCCESS!!! TRANSLATOR WORK WELL FOR OOG!!! AND NO ACCUSE OOG OF USING BABELFISH, OOG ACTUALLY HAVE SENSE!!!
OOG STRESS IMPORTANCE OF PRIVACY!!!
on
The Eroded Self
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· Score: 5
OOG LIVE IN CAVE MANY YEARS AS METHOD OF KEEPING PRIVACY FROM OUTSIDE WORLD!!! BUT NOW OOG FIND SELF THREATENED BY TRACKING TECHNOLOGY AND LIKE!!! OOG ESPECIALLY SICK OF ACTIONS SUCH AS DOUBLECLICK AND OTHER SUCH ADVERTISING FIRMS TRYING TO COLLECT DATA FOR GREEDY MARKETING REASONS!!! OOG PRAY THAT SOCIETY DONT EVOLVE INTO ORWELIAN NIGHTMARE DOMINATED BY MONITORING!!! OOG THINK LARGE EFFORT NEED CONTINUOUSLY PLACED ON KEEPING INTERNET SECURE FOR USERS AND FIGHT EFFORTS OF OBNOXIOUS PRIVACY INVADING COMPANIES AND SOFTWARE!!! OOG MAY NOT DO BAD THING ON COMPUTER, BUT OOG DESERVE RIGHT TO SELECTIVELY CHOOSE WHAT DATA ABOUT OOG TO RELEASE FOR PUBLIC CONUSUMPTION!!!
OOG BACK AFTER PASSING OUT FROM DRINKING BINGE, ALTHOUGH HAVE BAD HANGOVER!!! BUT OOG THEN FIND COOL GREEN SEVEN LEAF PLANT GROWING OUTSIDE CAVE!!! OOG HAVE MUCH FUN SMOKING PLANT!!! BUT OOG START FEEL DIZZY NOW...
arrrr... whoa a domain rankings site... that's grooovvyyy, HEHE! But like, hey man, it's about time that someone rated all the domain registrars, cuz thats groovy. Like this one time, HEHE, I was totally gone, and I was thinking about getting me a domain and stuff. And dude, I knew I needed to like, register a domain from someone, but there were so many choices, man!!!! It totally blew my mind! Like there's NSI, tucows, CORE, Domain Discover, and all those places, and I'm all thinking... what's a dude supposed to do? There were, like, waaayyyy too many options, man!! And anyway, I started out all stoked about this domain thing, but with all those registrar places, I couldn't make up my mind! So like, this potentially groovilicious thang gets all bogus because I couldn't make up my mind. So it's definitely quite radical of this dude to write this domain registrar review site. I just went and saw the article and I was all, "WHOA man, that's awesome, HEHEHE!!" Well like dude, I think I need to go repack the pipe cuz it's kinda getting low and stuff... HEHE! But like, that site is cooooooolll, HEHEHEHE...
ARGGGHH!!! WHY OOG HEAD HURT AGAIN??? OOG'S EYES ALL RED AND BLOODSHOT!!! HMM, OOG HAVE MUNCHIES NOW!!! OOG GO EAT NINE BAGS OF FRITOS IN CAVE!!!
OOG JUST COME BACK FROM WILD CAVE PARTY!!! OOG DRINK LOTS OF CAVE BEER AND EAT FUNNY MUSHROOM, BUT WANT POST ON SLASHDOT BEFORE PASSING OUT!!! AAAAGGGHHH!!! OOG HEAD... START... FEEL... FUNNY...
When I first heard of Linux long ago, I scoured yon net for an ISO... But alas, after hours of vanished time Not one archive could thy find. Thy CD-R's wouldst be left blank, Yon Lucifer's curse did thy thank. How oh how dost thy change distros When thy soul can't find an ISO? BSD, Red Hat, and yon Debian... Trekking through their large sites then, Was the only way to acquire thy files. And dear earth be damned, it tooketh a while. But, lo! One glourious fortnight ago, My ears didst hear of LinuxISO! By the cooling warmth of Zepyhr's breeze, Thine ISO's thy found with ease. Thy CD-R's were filled and burned, And never again shall thee be spurned! And through yon net journeys to and fro, Thy never enough can praise LinuxISO!
SILLY SLASHDOTTER, WHY YOU NO PAY ATTENTION!!! OOG BE FIRST SLASHDOTTER IN RECORDED HISTORY, EVEN BEFORE TACO CREATE SLASHDOT!!! EXCEPT OOG NO LIVE IN GREAT RIFT VALLEY, THAT JUST BASTARD COUSIN OF MINE (RIFT VALLEY HAVE SHITTY INTERNET ACCESS, OOG DEMAND BROADBAND)!!! ALTHOUGH SHITTY GENE TRACING PROGRAMS NO MENTION OOG, OOG BE REAL ANCESTOR!!! OOG BREAK HEAD WITH OPEN SOURCE CD AND POST SLASHDOT SINCE MAN FIRST EVOLVE!!!
OOG WONDER HOW DARE YOU OVERLOOK YOUR HERITAGE!!! WHY YOU BE UNGRATEFUL BASTARD!!! IF NOT FOR OOG YOU NO HAVE SLASHDOT ACCOUNT WITH +1 BONUS!!! OOG DISSAPPOINTED IN YOU!!! AS OF TODAY OOG CUT YOU OUT OF INHERITANCE OF OOG FAMILY FORTUNE!!! OOG SUGGEST YOU SHOW MORE RESPECT TO CAVEMAN ANCESTOR!!! PERHAPS OOG ALSO SHOW YOU DISCIPLINE BY BREAK HEAD!!!
OOG WANT GO FOSE, BUT COULDNT BECAUSE OF TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE AT EARLIER COMPUTER CONVENTION!!! OOG HAD WALK 1000 MILES THROUGH WASTELANDS TO REACH CITY, SINCE DINOSAUR HE WAS RIDING DIED!!! THEN OOG NO ADMITTED IN BY JERK GUARD BECAUSE OOG WEAR ONLY LOINCLOTH AND NOT SHIRT AND SHOES!!! OOG END UP BREAK HEAD OF GUARD AND WALK IN ANYWAY!!! OOG THEN TRY ASK VARIOUS DEVELOPERS PLANS BUT THEY LAUGH AT OOG!!! OOG TRY BUY USED SOFTWARE FROM VENDORS BUT VENDORS NO TAKE FISH HEADS AS PAYMENT!!! THEN OOG SEE HOT LINUX CHICK (ODDS OF FINDING ONE ABOUT ONE TO BILLION) AND TRY GET OOG CAVEMAN MACK DOWN!!! BUT CHICK NO LET OOG CLUB HER AND TAKE HER BACK TO DEN FOR CAVEMAN SEX!!! OOG ARRIVE HOME DEJECTED AND DRINK CAVE VODKA AND SMOKE CAVE WEED TIL DRUNK AND STONED OFF ASS, THEN SPEND NIGHT WATCHING LESBO CAVE PR0N!!!
AS YOU CAN SEE, OOG NO BIG FAN OF COMPUTER CONVENTIONS!!!
OOG HATE THOUGHT OF BEING TRACKED BY ISP!!! OOG NO WANT ISP SELLING OOGS RECORDS!!! OOG LIKE VISIT PR0N SITES (FOR HOT LESBO CAVE WOMAN PR0N) AND DOWNLOAD CAVEMAN MP3'S!!! OOG NO WANT PEOPLE SPY ON WHAT OOG LOOK AT ALL THE TIME!!! OOG WANT BE ABLE TO DOWNLOAD GIGS OF PR0N AND MP3'S AND CAVE WAREZ IN PEACE!!! OOG FIND JERK WHO CAME UP WITH IDEA AND BREAK HEAD WITH OPEN SOURCE CD!!!
WHY YOU SLASHDOT GEEKS NOT ASK OOG??? OOG LIVE WITH MANY DINOSAUR!!! ACTUALLY, OOG WELL AWARE THAT DINOSAURS WARM BLOODED BECAUSE OF EXPERIMENT!!! OOG BUILD GIANT RECTAL THERMOMETER AND TOOK TEMPERATURE OF MANY DINOSAUR, ALMOST GET EATEN SEVERAL TIMES IN PROCESS!!! ACCORDING TO RECTAL THERMOMETER RESULTS, OOG CONCLUDE DINOSAURS WARM BLOODED!!! THIS NO SURPRISE TO OOG, JUST SURPRISED YOU NO CONSULT OOG ABOUT STORY!!! OOG BREAK HEAD WITH 30 FOOT RECTAL THERMOMETER!!!
OOG NEVER LIKE STAR TREK, BUT IF OOG DID LIKE IT AT ONE POINT HE COULDNT TELL ANYMORE!!! STUPID COMPANIES KEEP TRY MILK STAR TREK FOR ALL IT WORTH, WITHOUT FOCUSING ON QUALITY OR WHAT MADE IT POPULAR AND GREAT!!! NEXT GENERATION WAS TOLERABLE, BUT CRAP LIKE DEEP SPACE NINE AND VOYAGER WASTE OF TIME!!! ALL THOSE SHOWS RUIN ANY NAME STAR TREK HAD AND JUST SIMPLY TO MAKE QUICK BUCK WITHOUT ANYTHING ORIGINAL!!! ORIGINAL SERIES WAS BEST, JUST WATCH OLD EPISODES INSTEAD OF WASTING TIME WITH THIS!!! STAR TREK SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO DIE WITH DIGNITY, NOT LIVE ON IN BASTARDIZED FORM!!! OOG BREAK HEAD!!!
OOG NO LIKE TOMB RAIDER, BUT OOG WANT GET IT ON WITH LARA CROFT!!! OOG ALSO LIKE ANGELINA JOLIE!!! OOG NO CARE ABOUT OSCAR SHE WON, SHE MAKE OOG THINGIE GROW BIG!!! OOG THINK ANGELINA JOLIE HOTTER THAN ALL THOSE CAVE CHICKS OOG USUALLY DATES!!! OOG GO CLUB ANGELINA WITH OPEN SOURCE CAVEMAN CLUB AND BRING HER BACK TO HIS CAVE!!! OOG WANT SEE MOVIE SOON, HOPE THERE BE NUDITY TO SATISIFY OOG!!! OOG BREAK HEAD IF NO NUDITY IN MOVIE!!!
PHRASE SAYS "EVERYONE CAN RUN HIS FAVORITE OPEN SOURCE OPERATING SYSTEM!!!" EVERYONE BE SINGULAR PRONOUN!!! WHEN USING POSSESSIVE ADJECTIVE WITH GENDER AMBIGUOUS WORDS, GRAMMATICALLY CORRECT THING TO DO IS USE "HIS" FOR SINGULAR AND "THEIR" FOR PLURAL!!! AND SINCE "EVERYONE" BE SINGULAR PRONOUN, USAGE OF "HIS" BE CORRECT!!! OOG KNOW MANY GRAMMATICALLY IGNORANT SLASHDOTTERS SAY THAT "THEIR" GO WITH "EVERYONE," BUT THAT ONLY DUE TO RECENT POLITICALLY CORRECT NONSENSE AND IS GRAMMATICALLY WRONG!!! HOWEVER, HAD AUTHOR CHOSE TO BE POLITICALLY CORRECT, HE SAY "ALL THE PEOPLE CAN RUN THEIR..." WHICH BE RIGHT SINCE "ALL" IS PLURAL. BUT SINCE AUTHOR CHOOSE TO USE "EVERYONE," "HIS" IS CORRECT!!!
TECH STOCKS BEEN HYPED AND OVERPOPULAR FOR QUITE SOME TIME!!! AS RESULT, STOCK MARKET RAPIDLY CLIMBING IN VALUE TO RIDICULOUS HEIGHTS!!! BUT OOG KNOW YOU CANT EXPECT CURRENT STATUS QUO OF PROPSERITY TO REMAIN CONSTANT!!! EVENTUALLY SOMETHING TRIGGER MASSIVE SELL OFF IN TECH STOCKS, WHICH SET OFF CHAIN THAT BRING STOCK MARKET DOWN!!! OOG REMINDED OF EVENTS BEFORE GREAT DEPRESSION AND 1929 STOCK MARKET CRASH!!! BACK THEN, EXCESS MONEY PUMPED INTO STOCK MARKET THROUGH SPECULATION AND BUYING ON MARGIN!!! ECONOMY RISE, BUT ACHIEVE HOLLOW PROSPERITY WITH NOTHING TO BACK IT UP!!! WHEN SELLOFF OCCUR, BANKS NO ABLE TO GIVE CUSTOMERS MONEY AND MARKET CRASH!!! THOUGH SITUATION NOT AS EXTREME AND GOVERNMENT MORE PREPARED FOR DEPRESSION, SHOULD NOT OVERLOOK POSSIBILITY!!! CURRENT MARKET BLOATED AND INFLATED BY TECH STOCK AND ECOMMERCE HYPE!!! AT SOME POINT STOCK MUST GO DOWN AND MARKET MUST DROP !!! HOPEFULLY INVESTORS WISE ENOUGH NOT TO SELL ALL AT ONCE, AND DOJ WISE ENOUGH TO SLOWLY RELEASE RESULTS TO LESSEN IMPACT!!! STILL, TECH STOCK MORE OF TREND THAN ANYTHING ELSE AND NEED BE BROUGHT DOWN EVENTUALLY!!! OOG JUST HOPE NO DEPRESSION OCCUR AS RESULT!!!
I am aware of the fact that I have stated this complaint in the prior article, and I am wondering whether you even cared to read it, or it blew it off like it was nothing. However, I must say that I was dreadfully serious in regards in to this April Fool's Day practice of yours. In all gravity, this joke has been stretched well beyond the bounds of light humor, and now comes across as merely nothing more than a juvenile prank.
For what reason do you refuse to return to the standard normal and articulate posting method of old. Even for a temporary one day departure, the joke has already grown well old beyond its lifespan, and I beg you to consider allowing it to die a dignified death.
Moreover, I cannot help but voice my concerns about how your childish joke will reflect upon the status of slashdot. Slashdot has been viewed for a long time as a premier supplier of quality technological news, cultural news, and opinions. It is a site that myself and others treat with the highest of respect. I swear upon my soul that I have never and would never dream of tainting slashdot's wonderous content by posting something inarticulate and hard to understand. Please reconsider this, timothy. You see, other major bodies also view slashdot as a center for information gathering. Tech companies and key open source figures pay heavy attention to this site and expect the dignity that it normally has. Worse, our political activism raised by this site could be in danger. The MPAA, RIAA, and other figures that stand in the way of the promise of open source, will no doubt use your April Fool's Day article in court battles over laws to dismiss claims on slashdot as juvenile and childish. And if they are able to paint a picture of the community as puerile, I shudder when I think of the greater influence they could exert and the potential destruction of open source liberties.
I hate to repeat myself, timothy, but I am shocked and appalled by your utter refusal to heed my serious words of warning. You are threatening slashdot's reputation, the reputation of many visitors and posters, and even the open source movement itself with your callow attempts at humor. Whats next, timothy? An article posted in all capital letters that sounds like neanderthal gibberish (TIMOTHY POST GOOD ARTICLE ON SLASHDOT!!! TIMOTHY BREAK HEAD!!!)? Please say it isn't so, timothy. For the sake of everyone involved, please cease with your activity and return slashdot to its status quo. It isn't too late to compensate for your prior mistakes. You may have put the future of this site in danger, but you can still return to normal and prevent the utter destruction of slashdot and its ilk. Heed my words, sir, or else I will be forced to come over to your place of work or residence and physically shatter your cranial region.
Sincerely and Urgently, OOG THE OPEN SOURCE CAVEMAN
Slashdot Mirror
OOG ALWAYS WONDER WHAT HAPPEN TO COUSIN THARG SINCE HE DISAPPEAR IN MOUNTAIN!!! OOG THINK THARG FREEZE TO DEATH OR EATEN BY MAMOUTH BUT NOW ANGRY TO LEARN THARG MURDERED!!!
OOG THINK CAVEMAN GROK BEHIND MURDER (SINCE OJ SIMPSON NOT ALIVE AT THAT TIME AND USE KNIFE INSTEAD OF ARROW), BUT OOG PROBABLY HAVE TO HIRE UNFROZEN CAVEMAN LAWYER CIRROC TO BE ABLE TO BRING REAL KILLER TO JUSTICE!!! OOG AVENGE DEAD COUSIN THARG!!!
Congrats, good troll. (Heh I'm starting to sound like those arrogant "trollbusting" Slashbots).
You know, I thought the headline said "13 Year-Old... Commits Suicide." That would mean he killed himself... he died by his own hand... he made the conscious decision to end his life. Period. Did any of the school administrators physically commit the act of murder? No.
And who was to blame for the act of hacking? Perhaps the actual person (the 13 year old) who commited the act of breaking into security holes? I'd love to know how the admins are directly to blame for this. Maybe they might be dumbasses for not being aware of the holes, but that doesn't make them directly responsible. If a burglar breaks into your house, is it your fault for not having a foolproof million dollar security system with iron bars, laser motion sensors, high tech alarms, and hired armed guards? Nope, the burglar is charged with the crime of breaking and entering.
Sorry, but as fun as it is to use a tragic death to lash out at things we don't like, there's something called reason. The kid did a dumb thing by hacking the school's computers, and when he found himself about to be punished for his misdeeds (maybe the punishment seems a little harsh, but that's another issue) he wasn't stable enough to handle it and made to decision to kill himself. It's sad enough that the kid killed himself without a bunch of dumb gawkers sitting around trying to make him a martyr.
OOG SEE INACCURATE CAVEMAN REFERENCE POSTED ON HERE AND TAKE ISSUE!!! OOG NEVER ACTUALLY PAY FOR SEX, OOG JUST CLUB CAVE-HO WITH CLUB AND DRAG BACK TO CAVE REGARDLESS OF WHAT OTHER CAVEMAN THINK!!! OOG ALSO REMIND YOU THAT CURENCY OF DAY BE EITHER FISH HEADS OR FAT SACKS OF CAVE-WEED, NOT BOAR'S TEETH!!! OOG KNOW BOAR'S TEETH ONLY USED FOR SEX AMONG GAY CAVEMEN AND CAVE-BONDAGE FREAKS (OOG NORMAL)!!! OOG ALSO REMIND YOU THAT IN OLD CAVE LANGUAGE "UNF UNGA BOOG OOG LOOGA" ACTUALLY MEAN "I HAVE SMALL PENIS AND LIKE RECIEVING ANAL SEX TO POINT OF BLEEDING!!!" OOG NOW HAVE REASON TO QUESTION POSTER'S SEXUALITY!!!
OOG ALSO AGREE WITH STATEMENT THAT E2 HAVE OBNOXIOUS HERD MENTALITY IN VOTING PATTERNS THAT CAUSE CRAPPY NODES ABOUT POPULAR TOPICS (DUMB SEX NODES FROM UGLY FEMALES, LIBERAL RANTS, NONSENSE RANTS) TO BE HIGHLY INFLATED DESPITE MINIMAL VALUE!!!
OOG AMUSED AT GETTING DOUBLE DIGIT REPUTATIONS FOR EACH NODE OOG WRITE ON E2 IN USUAL CAVEMAN STYLE!!! OOG READ GOOD STUFF ON E2, BUT SO MUCH OF IT OVERSHADOWED BY CRAP LIKE "HOW I ALMOST KILLED MYSELF MASTURBATING" AND "I WILL REMOVE THE FUCKING TOILET SEAT IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP!!!"
OOG ALSO LAMENT THAT GOOD FACTUAL NODES OVERSHADOWED BY IDIOTS WHO LIKE TO CUT AND PASTE LARGE DOCUMENTS PAGE BY PAGE OR POST ENDLESS MINUTIAE!!!
FINALLY OOG ANNOYED AT XP WHORING (BY WRITING EXCESSIVELY SEXUAL, PERSONAL, INANE, OR POLITICAL NODES) AND NODING FOR NUMBERS WHICH TAKE PLACE EN MASSE!!! OOG FIND IT FUNNY THAT SOME PEOPLE MANAGE TO MAKE EDITOR IN COUPLE OF WEEKS SIMPLY BY MASS NODING OR WRITING ENDLESS DRIVEL WHICH APPEAL TO MOB VOTING MENTALITY (WHICH ALSO XP PACK RAPE ANYTHING QUESTIONING E2 OR E2 DRONE MENTALITY)!!! OOG SAD THAT SOME OF MOST FLAWED, OBNOXIOUS, AND TRIGGER-HAPPY PEOPLE ON E2 HAPPEN TO BE HIGH RANKING EDITORS OR GODS WHO GO MORE ON PERSONAL OR POPULAR CRUSADES RATHER THAN TRYING TO KEEP ORDER AND BALANCE!!!
OOG, IN CONCLUSION, THINK EVEN SLASHDOT AND KURO5HIN (BUT NOT PLASTIC.COM, WHICH SUCK OOG'S CAVE-NUTS) KICK CRAP OUT OF E2!!!
OOG ANGRY PEOPLE NOT CREDIT OOG WITH DISCOVERY OF FIRE!!! OOG SPEND LOT OF TIME WORKING ON WAY TO START FIRE SO OOG COULD SMOKE FAT BAG OF CAVE WEED!!! OOG PISSED THAT STUPID GROG STEAL OOG IDEA AND TAKE CREDIT FOR OOG GENIUS!!! OOG STILL HOLD PATENT ON FIRE THOUGH, SO OOG NOT WANT SOMEONE REVERSE ENGINEERING OOG FIRE DISCOVERY!!!
HOW OOG FAVORITE CAVE-BITCH DOING??? OOG RUN OUT OF CAVE-WEED TO SMOKE AND NEED CAVE-SEX AND CAVE-HEAD!!! OOG WANT BRITNEY COME HERE SO OOG CAN CLUB BRITNEY OVER HEAD AND BRING HER BACK TO CAVE!!!
OOG WONDER WHY BRITNEY SPEARS POST TO SLASHDOT!!! OOG THINK BRITNEY SHOULD BE BACK IN OOG'S CAVE GIVING CAVE-SEX!!! OOG HAVE NICE ONE NIGHT CAVE-STAND WITH BRITNEY AND WANT MORE!!! OOG GIVE BRITNEY MANY FISH HEADS FOR MORE CAVE-SEX!!! OOG ALSO BREAK HEAD WITH OPEN SOURCE CD IF BRITNEY NO COME BACK TO CAVE!!!
OOG HAVE POWERFUL CAVEMAN IMMUNE SYSTEM WHEN STONED ON CAVE WEED!!! OOG FIND GREEN MICROBE AND BREAK HEAD WITH OPEN SOURCE CD!!! BUT OOG NOT MIND BEING SENT INTO SPACE TO TEST COSMIC RAYS!!! OOG THEN GET FREAKISHLY BIG AND STRONG AND GREEN AND THEN BECOME LAME INCREDIBLE HULK PARODY WITH HIS OWN COMIC!!!
SPEAKING OF WHICH, OOG WANT OWN COMIC!!! SOMEONE GET JACK KIRBY AND STAN LEE TO MAKE SILVER AGE OOG COMIC!!! OOG BREAK LEADER'S HEAD WITH OPEN SOURCE CD!!!
I apologize for my recent "sabbatical" from the slashdot community, but as you would maybe know I had been frozen in ice, thawed out, and been in the attendence of several law classes at Harvard Unviersity. With my bar examination approaching, I decided it would be a good idea to brush up on my law here.
Now I want you all to understand something. I am just a caveman, who was frozen in ice and thawed out by your modern people. Your world frightens and confuses me!
When I check the time on my brand new Rolex, I wonder if little magic pixies inside are turning the hands. When I watch one my 7 HBO channels in my 60 inch big screen television, I think to myself "how did these people get trapped inside this giant box?" And when I drink a bottle of vintage Dom Perignon champagne from a crystal glass, I wonder if the burning sensation from the bubbles is really caused by tiny demons who live inside the champagne and are trying to get inside me and kill me. My primitive ways and customs prevent me from understanding your modern culture.
But there is one thing I am certain of! 2600 pretty much has no hope of winning at this court level. Not only is Judge Lewis Kaplan promote firm and strict adherence to the poorly written DMCA, but he is clearly acting on his past bias as shown by his refusal to recuse himself for conflict of interest or even allow Garbus to speak on such. The only legal advice my caveman mind can offer is for 2600 to ride this loss and take it to a higher court, placing emphasis on Kaplan and his obvious bias and conflict of interest in favor of the MPAA. Thank you for your time.
Location: A rocky patch of desert land located a few miles past the outskirts of a thriving metropolitan city. A lonely interstate highway is all that passes through the area. The climate is usually hot, but strangely, a small, but heavy, blizzard is rapidly approaching. Snow begins to fall heavily over the desert as the dirt on the ground begins to freeze over. The land itself is flat and nondescript, save for a large rock formation near where the highway runs. A large opening is present in the rock, marking the entrance of a vast cave. Oddly, several cables jut out of the cave's entrance. Large clouds of green smoke are also escaping from the cave.
The clouds of smoke suddenly cease to appear as the sound of footsteps come from the cave. As the footsteps grow louder, a large caveman stumbles out of the cave. He staggers around confused, as if under some sort of spell. In his left hand are the remnants of a used marijuana cigarette, and in his right hand he clutches a compact disc, on which the letters "open source" can be seen. On close inspection, the caveman appears to be none other than OOG_THE_CAVEMAN. As the blizzard roars, OOG, clearly affected by marijuana, walks aimlessly around the land.
OOG_THE_CAVEMAN: ARRRGHHHH!!! THIS GOOD CAVE-WEED!!! OOG LIKE BOGARTING FAT JOINT!!! OOG FUCKING HIGH AS HELL!!! MUST GO OUT AND GATHER FRITOS TO SATISFY OVERPOWERING MUNCHIES!!!
OOG walks in no clear direction. He appears to be heading towards the desolate highway which streaks across the land. But being incapacitated, OOG has great difficulty walking and maintaining his balance. Without warning, OOG stumbles over a rock and falls flat to the frozen ground, only a few yards from the highway. Because he is so stoned, OOG is unable to get up.
OOG_THE_CAVEMAN: OOG FALLEN AND OOG CAN'T GET UP!!! OOG ALSO HAVE PROBLEM STANDING UP FROM GROUND!!! CAVE-WEED REALLY GOING TO OOG HEAD!!!
OOG, unable to get up, passes out while lying on the frozen ground. The snow falls mercilessly and freezes to form ice as it hits the ground. After a few hours, our hero OOG lies trapped in a block of ice near the side of the highway.
The storm suddenly vanishes, but OOG is still embedded in the ice. Suddenly, a large, obnoxious SUV bearing several Harvard bumper stickers and driven by two yuppie students appears on the highway. One of them notices the frozen caveman and tells the driver to stop. Intrigued, they go outside where OOG is imprisoned in ice and stare at the block.
Student #1: Why isn't that OOG_THE_CAVEMAN frozen in that block of ice?
Student #2: Indeed it IS OOG! I remember reading many of his insightful posts on the website, Slashdot!
Student #1: Yes, he makes many quality posts... but many of those bad moderators are prejudiced towards intelligent caveman and abuse the 'overrated' tag to moderate him down without risking justice via metamoderation.
Student #2: Well, I think we should help out OOG and thaw him out. I just hope he doesn't break our heads with his open source cd.
The students pick up the large block of ice with OOG in it and stuff it in the vast, vast, vast backseat of their ridiculously oversized SUV. They head back on a long road trip to Harvard, which they both attend. When they arrive, they head to their dorm, where they leave OOG to thaw out in the bathtub, and then go out to eat. OOG wakes up, but because he is still incredibly high, has no idea what he is doing. He stumbles out, wanders around the Harvard campus, inadvertently attending several advanced law classes and learning much about law in the process. Dizzy and still stoned, OOG finally staggers into a large computer lab, where he passes out on the floor.
to be continued...
OOG NOT FEEL GOOD.. OOG REALLY FUCKED UP RIGHT NOW BUT HAVE SENSE HE IS NEEDED ON SLASHDOT!!! OOG CHECK NEW STORIES!!! OOG STONED AS SHIT BUT WILL TRY TO HELP A BIT ANYWAY!!! OOG KNOW LOTS ABOUT CAVE-DRUGS!!! OOG FIND FUNNY POINTED PLANT WHEN LOOKING FOR MAMMOTH TO EAT, AND LEARN HOW TO CULTIVATE IT SOLELY USING INTERNET SOURCES!!!
OOG SUGGEST YAHOOKA.COM!!! YAHOOKA.COM VERY GOOD RESOURCE, LINK TO MUCH INFORMATION ON CAVE WEED!!! OOG GROW ALL HIS CAVE-WEED HIMSELF NOW!!! OOG LINK TO GUIDES OOG USE TO LEARN HOW TO GROW CAVE WEED!!! MAYBE OOG GO ON TO DOMESTICATE OTHER PLANTS LATER, INVENT CONCEPT OF AGRICULTURE AND BUILD BASIS OF CIVILIZATION BY ALLOWING CAVEMEN TO LIVE IN ONE STABLE PLACE WITHOUT HAVING TO MOVE!!! BUT OOG TOO BUSY WITH CAVE-DRUGS AND CLUBBING CAVE-HO'S!!! OOG JUST GOING TO GET REALLY FUCKING HIGH!!!
SINCE OOG HIGH, OOG WANT TO APOLOGIZE IF INFORMATION NOT HELPFUL!!! OOG NOT READ STORY AND COMMENTS!!! OOG TRY NOT BE LIKE MOST SLASHDOT POSTER, WHO READ HEADLINE AND THEN POST!!! OOG MAY BE STONED OFF ASS, BUT OOG NOT WANT END UP LIKE SIGNAL 11!!!
OH NO, OOG'S SUNDIAL SAY IT ONLY FEW MORE HOURS TIL 4:20!!! OOG MUST GET NEXT BATCH OF CAVE-WEED READY TO SMOKE OUT!!! ARRGHHH OOG NEED CAVE MAMMOTH AND FRITOS TOO... OOG GOT CAVE-MUNCHIES BAD!!!
OOG NO NEED READ ALL THIS NONSENSE ABOUT GEEK GIRLS ON SLASHDOT!!! THAT WHAT OOG FAVORITE PORN SITES FOR ANYWAY!!! BUT SINCE SO MANY POSTERS SEEM NOT TO KNOW SHIT ABOUT WOMEN, OOG THE CAVE PIMP DIVULGE HIS KNOWLEDGE OF GETTING SWEET CAVE LOVING!!!
OOG READ POSTS HERE AND STARTLED ABOUT PEOPLE HERE WONDERING WHY THEY CANT FIND GIRLS!!! OOG KNOW NO WORTHWHILE GIRL COULD STAND OBNOXIOUS PSEUDO INTELLECTUALISM OF MANY POSTERS HERE!!! SO MANY SLASHDOT PEOPLE KNOW-IT-ALLS, KARMA WHORES, ELITISTS, ETC!!! IF YOU LIKE THIS IN REAL LIFE, NO WONDER PEOPLE NO LIKE GEEKS!!! PERHAPS LEAVE MONITOR, CLOSE PROGRAMMING WINDOW, AND LEARN ABOUT REAL LIFE!!! AFTER ALL, OOG NEVER GO NEAR GEEK CAVE WOMAN BECAUSE OOG CANT STAND SUCH ONE DIMENSIONAL MENTALITY!!!
OOG ALSO NOTICE HOW CERTAIN PEOPLE USE GENDER STORIES AS WINDOW TO START BRAGGING ABOUT CONQUESTS AND TRY ONE UP PEOPLE!!! GUESS WHAT, OOG CLUB MORE CAVE WOMEN AND DRAG HOME TO CAVE THAN YOU HAVE KARMA POINTS!!! BESIDES, NOBODY CARE ABOUT YOUR LITTLE BRAGGING STORIES!!! OOG BET YOU ONLY GET RELATIONSHIP BY SETTLING FOR UNATTRACTIVE CAVE WOMAN!!!
IF YOU WANT ADVICE ON WOMEN, OOG HAVE THIS TO SAY: CLUB WOMAN AND BRING HOME TO CAVE!!! IF THAT FAIL, GET CAVE WOMAN DRUNK ON CAVE BEER AND HIGH ON CAVE WEED!!! THAT NEVER FAIL!!!
ARSTECHNICA MAKE IMPORTANT POINT ABOUT HOW AQUA INTERFACE VERY GOOD FOR NEWBIES, BUT LIMIT EXPERIENCED USERS!! APPLE DOING RIGHT THING IN MAKING GLITTERY INTERFACE WITH FEW MOVING PARTS, BECAUSE HELP NEW USERS AND MAKE THEM NOT WORRY!! BUT NOT EVERYONE IS NEW USER!! MANY PEOPLE USE MACOS BECAUSE DETAILS OF MACOS BEHAVIOR MAKE WAYS THEY CAN USE FILES AND INTERFACE MOST EFFICIENTLY, AND SOME OF THEM LIMITED GREATLY BY LACK OF THINGS LIKE POPUP FOLDERS AND DRAG&DROP APPLICATION MENU!! OOG UNDERSTAND IMPORTANT NOT INCLUDE MANY CONFUSING FEATURES TO BLAST NEWBIES, BUT OOG NOT THINK NECCICARY REMOVE FUNCTIONALITY ALTOGETHER!! OOG THINK POSSIBLE MAKE DISTRACTING FEATURES DISABLED BY DEFAULT, BUT STILL THERE FOR POWER USERS!!
OOG THINK APPLE NEED TO REALIZE FLEXIBILITY IS IMPORTANT!! CONSISTENT USER INTERFACE IS GOOD, BUT SHOULD ALLOW USER TO CUSTOMIZE INTERFACE IF USER IS CAPABLE OF HANDLING IT!! IN LINUX, OOG HAVE ULTIMATE FLEXIBILITY BECAUSE DISPLAY INTERFACE OF X , WINDOW MANAGER, WIDGET LIBRARIES AND DESKTOP ENVIRONMENT ALL SEPERATE MODULAR PARTS!! OOG CAN CHOOSE WHAT NEEDED!! SOMETIMES PARTS NOT WORK TOGETHER AND ACT REDUNDANT, BUT OOG CAN TWEAK THEM TO MAKE WORK!!! OOG HAPPY!!
OOG WOULD LIKE APPLE TO MAKE FLEXIBILITY LIKE LINUX IN FINAL MAC OS X!! OOG SEE APPLE GOING SLIGHTLY THAT WAY BY MAKING DOCK SEPERATE APP!! BUT NOT ENOUGH SIMPLY MAKE FUNCTIONALITY POSSIBLE AND EXPECT THIRD PARTY DEVELOPERS TO FIGURE OUT ON OWN!! APPLE NEED HELP THIRD PARTY DEVELOPERS FIGURE OUT!! MAYBE EVEN RELEASE CODE FOR THINGS LIKE POP-UP WINDOWS AND APP SWITCHER TEAROFF UNDER ASPL, SO CAN BE PORTED TO MAC OS X EVEN THOUGH APPLE NOT PORT THESE THINGS!! APPLE NEED ANTICIPATE EXPERIENCED USERS ARE GOING TO NEED INTERFACE MORE IMMEDIATELY POWERFUL THAN AQUA!! APPLE ALSO NEED ANTICIPATE NOT EVERYONE LIKE HORIZONTAL LINES WITH ALTERNATING SHADES OF GRAY AND TEXT ON TOP!! OOG NOT LIKE THOSE LINES!! HURT HEAD!!! OOG NOT LIKE UNNECCICARILY PANED INTERFACES OR ANYTHING WASTING SCREEN SPACE!!! BUT AQUA BUILT AROUND IDEA OF USING ALL SCREEN SPACE POSSIBLE!! THIS GOOD FOR SOME PEOPLE, BUT STILL LOOK AT AQUA HURT OOG HEAD!!
APPLE NEED ANTICIPATE WHAT USERS WANT!! APPLE NEED REALIZE WHEN UPGRADE TO MAC OS X, MANY USERS TRY TO HACK INTERFACE!! APPLE NEED TO ACCOMODATE USERS AND RELEASE APPEARANCE THEME API, AND MAKE BEGINNINGS OF API FOR REPLACEMENT TO THINGS LIKE DOCK AND MAXIMIZE BUTTON TO PLUG INTO!! OTHERWISE MANY OF APPLE'S MOST EXPERIENCED CUSTOMERS WASTE LOTS OF TIME, AND THEN STILL LIVE WITH QUIRKY INTERFACE WITH STRANGE BUGS BECAUSE HACKS NOT DONE RIGHT, AND INCOMPATIBLE WITH SOME APPLICATIONS BECUASE HACKS WORK AROUND OS RATHER THAN GOING THROUGH IT!!!
AT VERY LEAST, IF APPLE GOING TO IGNORE NEEDS OF EXPERIENCED USERS IN INTERFACE, APPLE NEED TO GUIDE INTERFACE HACKERS!!! EVEN IF APPLE NOT IMPLEMENT THESE THINGS THEMSELVES, NEED TO ENSURE THAT INTERFACE HACKS GO SMOOTHLY!!! WOULD BE VERY SAD TO SEE QUARTZ DISPLAY TECHNOLOGY SHACKLED PERMANENTLY TO LIMITED INTERFACE!!! WOULD ALSO BE SAD TO SEE HUNDREDS OF MANHOURS WASTED IN REVERSE-ENGINEERING INTERFACE SO HACKS CAN BE MADE, SINCE TIME COULD BE MUCH BETTER SPENT IN MAKING SHAREWARE FOR NEW OS!! OOG THINK IT NOT IN BEST INTERESTS IF ALL OF PROGRAMMERS INTERESTED IN MAKING WORKAROUNDS FOR AQUA RATHER THAN MAKING SOFTWARE TO EXTEND OS X FUNCTIONALITY!!
OOG STEAL TRANSLATOR FROM COMPANY, SO OOG SEE IF SPANISH WORK ON TRANSLATOR THROUGH TESTING VIA SLASHDOT POSTING:
OOG ESCRIBE ESTE PÁRRAFO EN ESPAÑOL!!! A OOG LE GUSTA APLASTAR LAS CABEZAS CON LOS DISCOS COMPACTOS DE FUENTE ABIERTA!!! A OOG TAMBIÉN LE GUSTA FUMAR LA MARIGUANA DE CUEVA, BEBIR LA CERVEZA DE CUEVA, Y CHINGAR A LAS MUJERES DE CUEVA!!! OOG COME MUCHAS CABEZAS DE LOS PECES!!! PERO LA PERSONAS QUE A OOG NO LE GUSTAN SON TODOS LOS ÁRBITROS QUE NO ENTENDEN A OOG Y JUZGAN QUE LOS PÁRRAFOS DE OOG SON EXAGERADO (PORQUE NO TIENEN UN RAZÓN BIEN PARA SU MODERANDO MAL!!!) SI OOG JAMÁS ENCONTRA A UN DE LOS ÁRBITROS MALES, OOG LE DARÍA UN GOLPE EN EL CULO!!!
OOG HAVE SUCCESS!!! TRANSLATOR WORK WELL FOR OOG!!! AND NO ACCUSE OOG OF USING BABELFISH, OOG ACTUALLY HAVE SENSE!!!
OOG LIVE IN CAVE MANY YEARS AS METHOD OF KEEPING PRIVACY FROM OUTSIDE WORLD!!! BUT NOW OOG FIND SELF THREATENED BY TRACKING TECHNOLOGY AND LIKE!!! OOG ESPECIALLY SICK OF ACTIONS SUCH AS DOUBLECLICK AND OTHER SUCH ADVERTISING FIRMS TRYING TO COLLECT DATA FOR GREEDY MARKETING REASONS!!! OOG PRAY THAT SOCIETY DONT EVOLVE INTO ORWELIAN NIGHTMARE DOMINATED BY MONITORING!!! OOG THINK LARGE EFFORT NEED CONTINUOUSLY PLACED ON KEEPING INTERNET SECURE FOR USERS AND FIGHT EFFORTS OF OBNOXIOUS PRIVACY INVADING COMPANIES AND SOFTWARE!!! OOG MAY NOT DO BAD THING ON COMPUTER, BUT OOG DESERVE RIGHT TO SELECTIVELY CHOOSE WHAT DATA ABOUT OOG TO RELEASE FOR PUBLIC CONUSUMPTION!!!
OOG BACK AFTER PASSING OUT FROM DRINKING BINGE, ALTHOUGH HAVE BAD HANGOVER!!! BUT OOG THEN FIND COOL GREEN SEVEN LEAF PLANT GROWING OUTSIDE CAVE!!! OOG HAVE MUCH FUN SMOKING PLANT!!! BUT OOG START FEEL DIZZY NOW...
arrrr... whoa a domain rankings site... that's grooovvyyy, HEHE! But like, hey man, it's about time that someone rated all the domain registrars, cuz thats groovy. Like this one time, HEHE, I was totally gone, and I was thinking about getting me a domain and stuff. And dude, I knew I needed to like, register a domain from someone, but there were so many choices, man!!!! It totally blew my mind! Like there's NSI, tucows, CORE, Domain Discover, and all those places, and I'm all thinking... what's a dude supposed to do? There were, like, waaayyyy too many options, man!! And anyway, I started out all stoked about this domain thing, but with all those registrar places, I couldn't make up my mind! So like, this potentially groovilicious thang gets all bogus because I couldn't make up my mind. So it's definitely quite radical of this dude to write this domain registrar review site. I just went and saw the article and I was all, "WHOA man, that's awesome, HEHEHE!!" Well like dude, I think I need to go repack the pipe cuz it's kinda getting low and stuff... HEHE! But like, that site is cooooooolll, HEHEHEHE...
ARGGGHH!!! WHY OOG HEAD HURT AGAIN??? OOG'S EYES ALL RED AND BLOODSHOT!!! HMM, OOG HAVE MUNCHIES NOW!!! OOG GO EAT NINE BAGS OF FRITOS IN CAVE!!!
OOG JUST COME BACK FROM WILD CAVE PARTY!!! OOG DRINK LOTS OF CAVE BEER AND EAT FUNNY MUSHROOM, BUT WANT POST ON SLASHDOT BEFORE PASSING OUT!!! AAAAGGGHHH!!! OOG HEAD... START... FEEL... FUNNY...
When I first heard of Linux long ago,
I scoured yon net for an ISO...
But alas, after hours of vanished time
Not one archive could thy find.
Thy CD-R's wouldst be left blank,
Yon Lucifer's curse did thy thank.
How oh how dost thy change distros
When thy soul can't find an ISO?
BSD, Red Hat, and yon Debian...
Trekking through their large sites then,
Was the only way to acquire thy files.
And dear earth be damned, it tooketh a while.
But, lo! One glourious fortnight ago,
My ears didst hear of LinuxISO!
By the cooling warmth of Zepyhr's breeze,
Thine ISO's thy found with ease.
Thy CD-R's were filled and burned,
And never again shall thee be spurned!
And through yon net journeys to and fro,
Thy never enough can praise LinuxISO!
...
UUGGGHHH... OOG FEEL STRANGE...
SILLY SLASHDOTTER, WHY YOU NO PAY ATTENTION!!! OOG BE FIRST SLASHDOTTER IN RECORDED HISTORY, EVEN BEFORE TACO CREATE SLASHDOT!!! EXCEPT OOG NO LIVE IN GREAT RIFT VALLEY, THAT JUST BASTARD COUSIN OF MINE (RIFT VALLEY HAVE SHITTY INTERNET ACCESS, OOG DEMAND BROADBAND)!!! ALTHOUGH SHITTY GENE TRACING PROGRAMS NO MENTION OOG, OOG BE REAL ANCESTOR!!! OOG BREAK HEAD WITH OPEN SOURCE CD AND POST SLASHDOT SINCE MAN FIRST EVOLVE!!!
OOG WONDER HOW DARE YOU OVERLOOK YOUR HERITAGE!!! WHY YOU BE UNGRATEFUL BASTARD!!! IF NOT FOR OOG YOU NO HAVE SLASHDOT ACCOUNT WITH +1 BONUS!!! OOG DISSAPPOINTED IN YOU!!! AS OF TODAY OOG CUT YOU OUT OF INHERITANCE OF OOG FAMILY FORTUNE!!! OOG SUGGEST YOU SHOW MORE RESPECT TO CAVEMAN ANCESTOR!!! PERHAPS OOG ALSO SHOW YOU DISCIPLINE BY BREAK HEAD!!!
OOG WANT GO FOSE, BUT COULDNT BECAUSE OF TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE AT EARLIER COMPUTER CONVENTION!!! OOG HAD WALK 1000 MILES THROUGH WASTELANDS TO REACH CITY, SINCE DINOSAUR HE WAS RIDING DIED!!! THEN OOG NO ADMITTED IN BY JERK GUARD BECAUSE OOG WEAR ONLY LOINCLOTH AND NOT SHIRT AND SHOES!!! OOG END UP BREAK HEAD OF GUARD AND WALK IN ANYWAY!!! OOG THEN TRY ASK VARIOUS DEVELOPERS PLANS BUT THEY LAUGH AT OOG!!! OOG TRY BUY USED SOFTWARE FROM VENDORS BUT VENDORS NO TAKE FISH HEADS AS PAYMENT!!! THEN OOG SEE HOT LINUX CHICK (ODDS OF FINDING ONE ABOUT ONE TO BILLION) AND TRY GET OOG CAVEMAN MACK DOWN!!! BUT CHICK NO LET OOG CLUB HER AND TAKE HER BACK TO DEN FOR CAVEMAN SEX!!! OOG ARRIVE HOME DEJECTED AND DRINK CAVE VODKA AND SMOKE CAVE WEED TIL DRUNK AND STONED OFF ASS, THEN SPEND NIGHT WATCHING LESBO CAVE PR0N!!!
AS YOU CAN SEE, OOG NO BIG FAN OF COMPUTER CONVENTIONS!!!
OOG HATE THOUGHT OF BEING TRACKED BY ISP!!! OOG NO WANT ISP SELLING OOGS RECORDS!!! OOG LIKE VISIT PR0N SITES (FOR HOT LESBO CAVE WOMAN PR0N) AND DOWNLOAD CAVEMAN MP3'S!!! OOG NO WANT PEOPLE SPY ON WHAT OOG LOOK AT ALL THE TIME!!! OOG WANT BE ABLE TO DOWNLOAD GIGS OF PR0N AND MP3'S AND CAVE WAREZ IN PEACE!!! OOG FIND JERK WHO CAME UP WITH IDEA AND BREAK HEAD WITH OPEN SOURCE CD!!!
WHY YOU SLASHDOT GEEKS NOT ASK OOG??? OOG LIVE WITH MANY DINOSAUR!!! ACTUALLY, OOG WELL AWARE THAT DINOSAURS WARM BLOODED BECAUSE OF EXPERIMENT!!! OOG BUILD GIANT RECTAL THERMOMETER AND TOOK TEMPERATURE OF MANY DINOSAUR, ALMOST GET EATEN SEVERAL TIMES IN PROCESS!!! ACCORDING TO RECTAL THERMOMETER RESULTS, OOG CONCLUDE DINOSAURS WARM BLOODED!!! THIS NO SURPRISE TO OOG, JUST SURPRISED YOU NO CONSULT OOG ABOUT STORY!!! OOG BREAK HEAD WITH 30 FOOT RECTAL THERMOMETER!!!
OOG NEVER LIKE STAR TREK, BUT IF OOG DID LIKE IT AT ONE POINT HE COULDNT TELL ANYMORE!!! STUPID COMPANIES KEEP TRY MILK STAR TREK FOR ALL IT WORTH, WITHOUT FOCUSING ON QUALITY OR WHAT MADE IT POPULAR AND GREAT!!! NEXT GENERATION WAS TOLERABLE, BUT CRAP LIKE DEEP SPACE NINE AND VOYAGER WASTE OF TIME!!! ALL THOSE SHOWS RUIN ANY NAME STAR TREK HAD AND JUST SIMPLY TO MAKE QUICK BUCK WITHOUT ANYTHING ORIGINAL!!! ORIGINAL SERIES WAS BEST, JUST WATCH OLD EPISODES INSTEAD OF WASTING TIME WITH THIS!!! STAR TREK SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO DIE WITH DIGNITY, NOT LIVE ON IN BASTARDIZED FORM!!! OOG BREAK HEAD!!!
OOG NO LIKE TOMB RAIDER, BUT OOG WANT GET IT ON WITH LARA CROFT!!! OOG ALSO LIKE ANGELINA JOLIE!!! OOG NO CARE ABOUT OSCAR SHE WON, SHE MAKE OOG THINGIE GROW BIG!!! OOG THINK ANGELINA JOLIE HOTTER THAN ALL THOSE CAVE CHICKS OOG USUALLY DATES!!! OOG GO CLUB ANGELINA WITH OPEN SOURCE CAVEMAN CLUB AND BRING HER BACK TO HIS CAVE!!! OOG WANT SEE MOVIE SOON, HOPE THERE BE NUDITY TO SATISIFY OOG!!! OOG BREAK HEAD IF NO NUDITY IN MOVIE!!!
PHRASE SAYS "EVERYONE CAN RUN HIS FAVORITE OPEN SOURCE OPERATING SYSTEM!!!" EVERYONE BE SINGULAR PRONOUN!!! WHEN USING POSSESSIVE ADJECTIVE WITH GENDER AMBIGUOUS WORDS, GRAMMATICALLY CORRECT THING TO DO IS USE "HIS" FOR SINGULAR AND "THEIR" FOR PLURAL!!! AND SINCE "EVERYONE" BE SINGULAR PRONOUN, USAGE OF "HIS" BE CORRECT!!! OOG KNOW MANY GRAMMATICALLY IGNORANT SLASHDOTTERS SAY THAT "THEIR" GO WITH "EVERYONE," BUT THAT ONLY DUE TO RECENT POLITICALLY CORRECT NONSENSE AND IS GRAMMATICALLY WRONG!!! HOWEVER, HAD AUTHOR CHOSE TO BE POLITICALLY CORRECT, HE SAY "ALL THE PEOPLE CAN RUN THEIR..." WHICH BE RIGHT SINCE "ALL" IS PLURAL. BUT SINCE AUTHOR CHOOSE TO USE "EVERYONE," "HIS" IS CORRECT!!!
TECH STOCKS BEEN HYPED AND OVERPOPULAR FOR QUITE SOME TIME!!! AS RESULT, STOCK MARKET RAPIDLY CLIMBING IN VALUE TO RIDICULOUS HEIGHTS!!! BUT OOG KNOW YOU CANT EXPECT CURRENT STATUS QUO OF PROPSERITY TO REMAIN CONSTANT!!! EVENTUALLY SOMETHING TRIGGER MASSIVE SELL OFF IN TECH STOCKS, WHICH SET OFF CHAIN THAT BRING STOCK MARKET DOWN!!!
OOG REMINDED OF EVENTS BEFORE GREAT DEPRESSION AND 1929 STOCK MARKET CRASH!!! BACK THEN, EXCESS MONEY PUMPED INTO STOCK MARKET THROUGH SPECULATION AND BUYING ON MARGIN!!! ECONOMY RISE, BUT ACHIEVE HOLLOW PROSPERITY WITH NOTHING TO BACK IT UP!!! WHEN SELLOFF OCCUR, BANKS NO ABLE TO GIVE CUSTOMERS MONEY AND MARKET CRASH!!!
THOUGH SITUATION NOT AS EXTREME AND GOVERNMENT MORE PREPARED FOR DEPRESSION, SHOULD NOT OVERLOOK POSSIBILITY!!! CURRENT MARKET BLOATED AND INFLATED BY TECH STOCK AND ECOMMERCE HYPE!!! AT SOME POINT STOCK MUST GO DOWN AND MARKET MUST DROP !!! HOPEFULLY INVESTORS WISE ENOUGH NOT TO SELL ALL AT ONCE, AND DOJ WISE ENOUGH TO SLOWLY RELEASE RESULTS TO LESSEN IMPACT!!! STILL, TECH STOCK MORE OF TREND THAN ANYTHING ELSE AND NEED BE BROUGHT DOWN EVENTUALLY!!! OOG JUST HOPE NO DEPRESSION OCCUR AS RESULT!!!
Dear Sir,
I am aware of the fact that I have stated this complaint in the prior article, and I am wondering whether you even cared to read it, or it blew it off like it was nothing. However, I must say that I was dreadfully serious in regards in to this April Fool's Day practice of yours. In all gravity, this joke has been stretched well beyond the bounds of light humor, and now comes across as merely nothing more than a juvenile prank.
For what reason do you refuse to return to the standard normal and articulate posting method of old. Even for a temporary one day departure, the joke has already grown well old beyond its lifespan, and I beg you to consider allowing it to die a dignified death.
Moreover, I cannot help but voice my concerns about how your childish joke will reflect upon the status of slashdot. Slashdot has been viewed for a long time as a premier supplier of quality technological news, cultural news, and opinions. It is a site that myself and others treat with the highest of respect. I swear upon my soul that I have never and would never dream of tainting slashdot's wonderous content by posting something inarticulate and hard to understand. Please reconsider this, timothy. You see, other major bodies also view slashdot as a center for information gathering. Tech companies and key open source figures pay heavy attention to this site and expect the dignity that it normally has. Worse, our political activism raised by this site could be in danger. The MPAA, RIAA, and other figures that stand in the way of the promise of open source, will no doubt use your April Fool's Day article in court battles over laws to dismiss claims on slashdot as juvenile and childish. And if they are able to paint a picture of the community as puerile, I shudder when I think of the greater influence they could exert and the potential destruction of open source liberties.
I hate to repeat myself, timothy, but I am shocked and appalled by your utter refusal to heed my serious words of warning. You are threatening slashdot's reputation, the reputation of many visitors and posters, and even the open source movement itself with your callow attempts at humor. Whats next, timothy? An article posted in all capital letters that sounds like neanderthal gibberish (TIMOTHY POST GOOD ARTICLE ON SLASHDOT!!! TIMOTHY BREAK HEAD!!!)? Please say it isn't so, timothy. For the sake of everyone involved, please cease with your activity and return slashdot to its status quo. It isn't too late to compensate for your prior mistakes. You may have put the future of this site in danger, but you can still return to normal and prevent the utter destruction of slashdot and its ilk. Heed my words, sir, or else I will be forced to come over to your place of work or residence and physically shatter your cranial region.
Sincerely and Urgently,
OOG THE OPEN SOURCE CAVEMAN
OOG WISH HAPPY APRIL FOOL DAY!!!