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Angelina Jolie Is Lara Croft
MwBay writes, "The Oscar winning actress has been cast as Lara Croft, bringing to an end months of speculation about who would fill Lara's shoes (and other garments) when the game makes the transition to the big screen.
Read about it
here." This is finally official from Eidos, after reading countless rumors in the submission bin. Good luck, Angelina! Oh, and if you Eidos guys are looking for extras, I'm interested. Update: 04/07 12:47 by CT : I remember when Angelina and I shared an issue of Rolling Stone... *grin*
Bzzzt. wrong.
The # is a measurement of the body (directly underneath the bust) +5 inches if under 33 inches and +3 inches if over 33 inches. Then if the number is even that's your # if it is odd you add one more inch. The cup size is the difference between the measurement around the fullest part of the bust minus the adjusted body measurement.
If the difference is 0 cup size is AA
1 cup size is A
2 cup size is B
3 cup size is C
4 cup size is D
5 cup size is DD
6 cup size is DDD (or E)
For those wierdo fake big boob women EEE = F,
FFF=G, GGG=H and so on.
How to measure for a bra
http://www.elegantevenings.com/measure-bra.htm
The movie is going to get too diverted in sexual seduction to even come off as an idiana-jones type movie. You know they are going to market it soley around her body, plot and action are only there to make up time between shots of jolie in various compromising positions.
I mean, I *never* in my wildest dreams imagined Lara Croft to be an incestuous brother-lovin' goth wannabe. Shee-it.
That's a real stretch.
But oh well, things change, you move on, you know? I mean, I'm no longer droolin' over Lara like I used to - nowadays its the chicks from DOA2 that are keeping my thumbs sore...
;)
; -- the corruption of government starts with its secrets. a truly free people keep no secrets. --
>Well, haven't heard that. But what I did hear looked and sounded like
>mortally-wounded-buffalo opera.
Hey, Listening to Meat Loaf sure beats the hell out of listening to that techno bullshit losers like yourself like...
Yeah, it's not so much all of us, though.
Yah, she's cool, but stuff like this is kinda tragic. I mean, from Oscars to video games? Bit of a drop.
Really? I'd consider it somewhat of an improvement.
--
"Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies."
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"Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies."
--
"Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies."
Anyone stupid enough to ever say "X only shows Y" when talking about human behavior is grossly underestimating the complexity of humans.
--
"Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies."
Is this a joke? How about getting one of the hot chicks who've been posing as Lara at the game conventions? What about the porno chicks who've been imitating her? How about someone......good looking? This is sad. Oh well. I actually don't care. I think this is for the guys who go nuts when they see "her" at Nintendo conventions, so...
"Update: 04/07 12:47 by CT: I remember when Angelina and I shared an issue of Rolling Stone... *grin*"
*sigh* I remember when Rolling Stone was worth reading.
I see even classic Slashdot is now pretty much unusable on dial up anymore.
It's probably a generational thing, mostly. Not really worth worrying about as long as you're a reasonable person who knows that their opinion of what is or isn't good music is just that, an opinion, and who's willing to let everybody listen to the music of their own choice without getting all bent out of shape about it.
I see even classic Slashdot is now pretty much unusable on dial up anymore.
Well, he does do a very good job of bringing Jim Steinman's work to life (although I do prefer Steinman's own release of "Rock and Roll Dreams Come Through").
I see even classic Slashdot is now pretty much unusable on dial up anymore.
Pam Dawber as Ms Croft. Hmmm. Check out Dawber in the '70s movie "The Girl, the Gold Watch, and Everything". Delicious.
I see even classic Slashdot is now pretty much unusable on dial up anymore.
Doesn't anyone else see how this defeats the entire Lara Croft image? Was she popular because she was sooo real looking?? NO!! Why does she turn me on? Because she's fully digital!
Honestly, its much easier nowdays to program the perfect model than to take someone and pump them full of silicone. As beauty trends come and go, who will last longer - the silicon Lara Croft or the silicone Lara Croft? I think we know which one could stand the most number of alterations! Also, the silicon Lara Croft is immune to aging - yell, she could get _younger_ over the years - try that with Angelina Jolie!
And the ULTIMATE reason why the silicon Lara Croft is better than the silicone Lara Croft - only the silicon Lara Croft could be released Open Source. (Think about it - having your way with Lara Croft's code!!)
Know what I like about atheists? I've yet to meet one that believes God is on their side.
Are you sure you meant shoes??? Or some lingerie items ;-)
Baker's Law: Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it
http://www.sigsegv.cx/
Man, first the avengers, now the Prisoner - stop making good shows into shite movies, people!
-lx
Um, D-cup and even E-cup and higher natural women do exist. They're just not as skinny as angelina jolie. Anyhow, it's not the size, it's the form.
-lx
Think there was a Street Fighter as well.
-lx
Um, yep, you got it wrong. :) Lara sprang from Toby Gard's overactive imagination. Only later did Core / Eidos found an actress to "play" her at some events. The first one to play Lara was Rhona Mitra, and the current "Lara" is a lass named Lara Weller.
You're forgetting the target audience. You mention that interest in video game characters has dropped a fari bit sonce you were a kid. Except the target audience is kids. You may not be one anymore.
I don't know what the interest in Tomb Raider is, never liked the first one, and never tried 2, 3, or 4, but if they're making a movie out of it, the game still must be selling lots of copies.
Judge Dredd started out as a British comic book, didn't he?
Agree with you though. Anyone remember the godawful Wing Commander?
Je ne parle pas francais.
Welcome to the 10 o'clock news. This is your anchor, Webslacker. First, our top story: archeologists today made an exciting discovery when they dug up old relics from a forgotten civilization. The items they discovered were dusty boxes in very deteriorated condition that bore the inscription "Tomb Raider" on them.
Other evidence found around the excavation site has shed little light on what this "Tomb Raider" might be. All archeologists have been able to decipher is that it was an old cultural icon that was long since abandoned and forgotten by early cave dwellers.
Informative digression on female chest measurements....
The number is the measurement round the body taken just under the breasts. The letters are an expression of 'cup' size, with 'A` = "teaspoon", 'C'= "healthy handful", 'D'+ = "Benny Hill" actress!.
If Jolie was a 55 there she'd be starring an AC/DC ('Whole lot of Rosie') videos rather than Lara Croft.
AFAIK, 'DDD' doesn't exist either, you only have double letters 'DD' max. Lara is probably about a 36/38 D (possibly E) I'm not, however, speaking from personal experience of her assets though....
Donte Alistair Anderson Roberts - hi son!
Karma: Chameleon
Yes, I noticed the tatooed quote in that picture as well. I thought it was an interesting comment on the modelling/acting industry with respect to women. Given her body fat percentage however, it looks as though she embraces the quote as a motto, as opposed to feeling its irony.
The black symbol just seems to be an X, as on a classic pirate map. I'm not sure if that's supposed to mean that if you've gotten that far, you've found the treasure, or whether it's just a reference to all those tales about pirate maps being tattoed on skins. I'm guessing however that she intends the former. Arrr, there's buried treasure in them hot pants!
That last is also quite ironic for a Tomb Raider.
Laissez lire, et laissez danser; ces deux amusements ne feront jamais de mal au monde. - Voltaire
Not me. The only reason Tomb Raider has ANY fans is because of the way Lara is rendered. Wake me when a Gundam movie hits U.S. theaters.
Glückwünsche, haben Sie Slashdot ermordet, indem Sie zum korporativen Druck beugten und Subskriptionen einlei
What about the woman who played the evil video game dominatrix in that X-Files episode a few weeks ago? She seems to have, ah...the talent and experience...she even looks like Lara Croft.
Plus I'd like to see more shots of that ass in a teddy...
Never by hatred has hatred been appeased, only by kindness - the Buddha
So what is the deal with her relationship with her brother? She is hot and all, but not if you're her brother. The two of them have been seen pratically making out... Can someone please stop her!
-- these are only opinions and they might not be mine.
I don't think censorship is the answer. As far as only long-time readers being able to read comments, that seems horribly paternalistic. Slashdot should remain free, as it always has, except in the case where trolls try to overwhelm the servers. Most moderators share our tastes, so in order to avoid the crap, surf at Threshold : 1. The guy's an asshole no doubt, but I like a forum where any opinion goes, and I'm glad Rob has avoided the censorship route. The only way that all legitimate posters can be heard is by making sure all people can be heard, no matter how offending they may be to our senses.
1. Lara Croft invades a tomb and gets a strange, foreign and expensive "object"
2. Lara Croft then gets the "object" in the nick of time before some large, kickass CGI demon/monster nearly kills/eats her
3. There's some bad guys who want it, and she has to get away from them and out of the cave
4. She succeeds and either a.) Falls in love with the lead bad guy (Oh no! Plot Twist Spoiler!) or b.) Kills them all or just the leader (maybe after sex)
This would open on Labor Day weekend and blow box office records for the surprise twist ending (The bad guy sex) and would then win Best Sound Editing Oscar because no one really knows why in the hell this category exists, other than the sole purpose of making whoever wins Best Sound come up to the stage twice (this is sadly true 90%+ of the time, check Oscar History). I do however fear for the true "value" of this movie other than some cool CGI effects and the ability to stare at Angelina Jolie for a few hours. Mmmm...
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Obi
Ok, yah... I see lara in the face. But Jolie's gonna need to work out some. I just can't see those scrawny arms catching an edge of a cliff (without ripping them off, that is).
IIRC, Pam Dawber also did a Playboy/Penthouse shoot in the 70's/early 80's.
Or so I heard.....No, don't look in that box in the back of the closet....
MrCreosote Meow!Thump!Meow!Thump!Meow!Thump! "You're right! There isn't enough room to swing a cat in here!"
Preach it, brother! Same goes for ones with odd piercings, it only shows that Daddy didn't give enough attention and that virtually ALWAYS leads to bad things.
Are you kidding me? She requires big breasts! That's the whole draw of Tomb Raider - perfect breasts so good that they probably couldn't exist in reality. But we geeks can dream.
Let's face it, girls don't spend their money on games and cool stuff, they buy clothes and shoes and this boring shit instead. So the money for games comes from horny guys and it makes sense to cater to them. Women are NOT known for their love of technical issues; and as such I dont think there are man women Slashdot readers.
Maybe women DON'T like computers because they operate like a machine, much like men do. They don't say the opposite of what they mean or play other mind tricks like women prefer to. That's likely also the reason men prefer computers (except for sex obviously).
They should have Cathryn Zeta Jones as Lara Croft instead. she looks like her, and has the British accent to boot
I think Linda Hamilton (From terminator & T2) would have been more believable in a physical role, she's got the body, lips and hair already, just need more up front to match the digital lara, but then just about anyone would.
I can say with authority that this was not the case. The art came first. Then followed a number of hired tarts to be the "real" Lara Croft (one of whom [the current one I think] is called Lara Weller [coincidence or whatever, I dunno]). Which is all a bit silly, really. :)
It's "with authority" because I can see Toby Gard, the original designer, from my desk. Well, if I turn 180 degrees, anyway
I'm really hoping the 'Final Fantasy' movie will be interesting.
My prediction for the Tomb Raider movie is:
1. horrible plot
2. overflowing with action
3. Strong female main character ( teenage girls will love it )
4. Teenage Boys will go for a glimpse of laura's cyber boobies ( Yes, they have the Nude-Raider patch, but the big screen is MUCH better )
I predict it will do ok, but certainly have little socially important information and more or less rob me of $7.50, $15.00+ if my girlfriend comes too.
anyone else notice that there seems to be a problem with posting in html? Well, nevermind it's probably fixed by the time you read this.
one word...
SHWING
(cough)
-
Wing Commander sucks
(cough)
nuff said
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Please give your mod points to others, Im at the cap. They will appreciate it more
I just finished watching a thing about this on msnbc (don't ask how the tv round up there, the tv just happned to be on while I was working.) and they said that Lara Croft is basically an artist'c conception. (Trivia: after the first game, he quit due to the exploitation of his character.) There is a European model (from Holland? like I said, I wasn't paying attention) named Lara (coincedence) that did some acting of the character for something or other.
But no, there was no actual person used as the inspiration for the character (or if there is, only the original artist knows...)
Interesting the way your post leans towards accusing a particular group who, though certainly guilty of what you describe, is not by any means the only group who does that. Those who would call themselves the exact opposite of the group you describe have been known to do the same.
I can't speak for your intent, but if you wanted to make an effective illustration, you should have included an example for the opposite group. Balance makes good argument. Imbalance tends to make the author look biased with an ulterior motive. Such a post will only be regarded seriously by those who agree with the author's position ("preaching to the choir") and not serve much usefulness in the big picture (regarding the issue at hand).
Heck, you could've made the same point without touching controversy, but what fun would that have been? ;)
Not much content from me, just an observation and a little advice. Call it constructive criticism. :) I hope it helps.
I don't know about you, but my servers run on the power of cotton candy and happy thoughts. -Anonymous Coward
I've seen this picture at Stileproject.com, under Linux Loving Sluts
more linux babes for ya'll
-rodent
Yeah okay. doh. Should've previewed that and turned brane on. That's not how it appears in the mod totals. mm.
I have seen the same non-moderation-related karma weirdnesses they mention, though. Hmm.
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are they going to give angelina some wire frames in her clothing so that her profile more accurately portrays the impossibly proportioned lara croft? or are they just gonna go ditch that whole "55DDD" look and go for something more reasonable?
emancipate
v. tr. emancipated, emancipating, emancipates.
      1. To free from bondage, oppression, or restraint; liberate.
      2.Law. To release (a child) from the control of parents or a guardian.
As in liberated, not tied down to looking after the family and doing the housework. So the joke usees the ambiguity between eggs for breakfast and the human ova. Get it?
Feel free to come back when you've seen a representative sample (not just Pokemon), and know what you're talking about.
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NetInfo connection failed for server 127.0.0.1/local
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NetInfo connection failed for server 127.0.0.1/local
Here's my DeCSS mirror. Where's yours?
Here's my DeCSS mirror, where's yours?
Umm... you must not have seen "Hackers", then.
Here's my DeCSS mirror. Where's yours?
Here's my DeCSS mirror, where's yours?
Lara Croft (almost sounds like cruft, actually) is a rediculous embodiment of a typical adolescent's unfulfilled sexual fantasies
Why do people like those nasty huge saging busts?!?
Remember, Natalie Portman has class *hint* *hint*
I would prefer her, just cuz her tits are much nicer *rawr*
Just MNSHO
Dude, take a look at his moderation totals. 10 points were spent on him. That has got to be a slashdot record. All that and his score is still at 1 where it started. Isn't that exactly what you want? I think OOG should be promoted.
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>>Why do people like those nasty huge saging busts?!?
Since when does Lara Croft's bust sag? I think that little bit of virtual support is one of the main reasons she's so popular.
The question is will angelina jolie acuratly fit the role of lara croft.
:-)~
Well physically I'm sure a personal trainer and stylist can be set to change her from oscar mess mode to video game queen. But do we really want an actress to be lara croft or a model look alike? The question is simply answered by this, the movie will undoubtedly be pg-13. So obviously to the disappointment of thousands of 'fans' it will suck. Just like there is no nude code in tombraider there will probably be no nudity in the movie either which will break the hearts of the poor suckers in love with the ficticious video game character.
but.... consider the real life videogame movie patch (kinda like the patch they used to make lara nude in tomb raider 1) Fans can always rent other movies which jolie has appeared nude/semi-nude and still pretend it's the real lara-croft. I'm pretty sure it wont be long before some digital artist with a bit of spare time cuts out a scene from the movie tombraider with angelina jolie and digitally enhances her with her nude shots from the movie 'gia'
...244
not really, when i look at natalie portman i think skinny geek girl. Not busty, sexy, adventurer. Or maybe it's because i've seen the paparazzi pictures of herself in the nude :P
After that, management will decide that there's no sense letting a good name go to waste, and will immediately begin production of Tomb Raider 2. Before TR2 even hits the theatres, previews and hype for TR3 will begin to be released as well. TR2 will be a pretty good movie, but nothing that we haven't already seen.
It won't take long for TR3 to come out, and it will sell pretty well (largely to the pre/early teen male audience which they cornered so well before). No critic in their right mind will give it much thought however, and even the casual fan from the early days will admit that TR3 doesn't bring anything new to the franchise. Rumors will start bouncing around - they're bringing in a new lead actress, they're using a new director, they're going to incorporate that latest new SFX bulletcam tech that the Matrix used.
When it's clear that there will never, ever be any innovation brought into the movie franchise, the execs will finally bow to the public pressure (and growing humiliation) and call TR4 their last. However we all know how corporate execs just can't let go of a chance to produce profit based on mindless nametagging and licensing ... expect Tomb Raider : The Video Game to hit store shelves soon after.
Oh wait, I think I got something mixed up here ... ;)
You know what to do with the HELLO. ...
Help create an open-source world
HELLO! you fucking dumbshit. Free speech == Free speech. Even when you don't agree with it. Once you start limiting things like this, where do you draw the line? Who decides? Next you'll wanna can posts that are anti-redhat, or pro MS... or Maybe Katz will talk the /. geeks into removing posts that he doesnt like... so only "special people" can read them, like his super 31337 karma whore buddies... yeah thats a fucking good idea..
If this is something you don't like to read... you should have seen the first line, realized what it was and skipped it. Truth be told, I didn't even read it til I saw your comment. Yes it is insulting and a crock of shit. But you have to remember. People have the right to speak, even when you don't like what they have to say.
I ate my sig.
And a damn good one !
Wish I had hung onto my old copies of 2000AD. They would be worth a fair bit by now !
Sigh....
Life is just a bowl of All Bran - Small Faces
Don't forget Mork and Mindy. A stupid show, but you got to see Pam every week.
Natalie Portman isn't going to get the part?
hah!
As wrong as I think it would be, these are the sorts of posts that could be considered for deletion or possibly a -2 where only long-time, positively-karma'd, registered users (or some smaller group of slashdot readers) could read them.
Or maybe that is not the answer. But I didn't feel I should sit back and ignore it.
Withdrawal before climax is very ineffective and those who try this are usually called "parents."
it's unfortunate that the right of free speech is consistently belittled by people who think it was designed to indulge their inanity. you can speak freely, but that's not the same as requiring people to listen. and, last i checked, slashdot was private enterprise. which means no one has any kind of RIGHT to post here, to participate in discussions on subject matter that some people care about; it is a PRIVILEGE. that means you should treat it responsibly, and post politely, even with strong opinions, and argue your position with facts, not fury. unfortunately, geeks are often hypersensitive people, however intelligent, who are used to not being heard or understood, and therefore don't even try to communicate rationally anymore, even with each other (i know... i went through that phase myself). people think saying something with a stream of expletives makes it stronger. instead, it only looks like you've inherited your ideas from pop culture, and are hoping to make so much noise in expressing them that it obscures the extent to which you haven't considered them. sorry for this offtopic post, but people so routinely abuse the word 'rights' that it becomes infuriating. on the topic of actually deleting messages (which itself is offtopic... ew), i do think that it shouldn't be done. as someone suggested (and wisely), surfing on 1 is the way to go.
The Matrix has you.
(Angelina's in it. duh.)
Paul
Or for that matter, when do Angelina Jolies sag?
Quoth the poet:
"I love seeing Angelina Jolie...she has not been in one bad movie."
Hackers? Gia? Nuf said.
Nate Custer
"The poet presents his thoughts festively, on the carriage of rhythm; usually because they could not walk" Nietzsche
Playing by Heart isn't quite a great movie IMHO, but it is a great date movie. Even guys can like this one... not bad for a romantic movie.
If you like Angelina, she is fantastic in Playing God... Angelina alone makes it worth watching (otherwise it is just so-so).
I like Angelina in the role - she has the attitude down. But doesn't Alyssa Milano look a lot more like Laura Croft? Plus she does some cool martial arts moves in Charmed every once in a while.
Her ex-husband (Englishman Jonny Lee Miller, or "Dade Murphy", or "Crash Override", whichever you prefer) IMHO had the brat thing going for him in Hackers, and though he supressed his accent for the movie, I'm sure Angelina could do an excellent impression of him for her upcoming role.
enmity.
(Hypergeek hits head on the nearest wall for using up his last moderation point 2 hours ago, then repeats for several thousand iterations...)
All in all, though, Mr. The Caveman's post is more likely a parody than a troll...
Stay up hacking each weekend. Sleep is for the week.
This is not going to work out well, just look at the Street Fighter (Mortal Combat was not that horrible,) Wing Commander plainly sucked...
What would be cool if they made the game with real pictures of Angelina Jolie as Lara Croft in it and I want a completely interactive adult version.
You can't handle the truth.
well a cell animated version, done well. Anime style..not saturday morning cartoon, or disney style... ..and in listing video games that didn't quite make it in their big screen debut, the Wiz, and Wing Comander shoudln't be forgotten...well maybe they should.
------ Work is so much easier when you don't
To truly be a TR movie, the following must be adhered to:
.45's never run out of ammo.
1.
You mean there's an action movie where guns do run out of ammo?
Sound like a great casting choice to me. I'm a fan of Angelina's work (no, not Hackers godamnit). If anyone has the 'tude to fill Lara's shoes, it is Jolie.
:P
The success/failure of this film will ultimately depend on Simon West though. Con Air was a decent movie minus some common Hollywood action flick absurdity. Oh yea, and it doesn't hurt that Angelina is drop-dead gorgeous either.
Gimme a break. Hasn't "Raiders" already been done? My prediction is that this movie will *bomb*.
In the immortal words of Socrates, "I drank what?"
Why don't they just make it an animatede movie, and let Lara Croft play (with) herself?
I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame it on you.
fwiw, lara croft and the tomb raider franchise seem to be super popular in europe. many tomb raider site seem to be international and some of the really obssesive fan material comes from europe.
fan generated products have included music and music videos, artwork and 'zine style fiction. most of the fan stuff seems to be coming out of europe.
lara croft has also been used to pitch cars, soft drinks, etc. and she seems to have made many more appearances on european tv shows than us tv shows.
so while a lara croft movie may do merely ok in the us, it may do very well in europe (where they'll probably get the uncensored version of the movie).
when religion is no longer the opiate of the masses, governments will resort to real opiates.
OMG Freaky!! As i was reading this to myself meatloaf was on the radio and that line was being sung just as i read it!! weird...
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Esobofh - Currently drinking fresh mango juice.
How could you forget the lamentable Wing Commander???
-------- "All I want in life's a little bit of love to take the pain away" --Spiritualized
I for one am extremely happy that they chose her. I love seeing Angelina Jolie...she has not been in one bad movie. She is a wonderful actress and god she's hot! If you haven't seen "Playing by Heart" I give it high recommendations. It's great!
"Go sell crazy someplace else; we're all stocked up here"
Relic Hunter does suck. I watched one episode, during which she got naked while changing 3 times! Of course, because this is T.V. you don't get to see anything, but even so, that is what the show is based on - watch Tia change clothes in confined spaces!
It sucks ass. Sorry to all the Tia fans out there.
Desperation is a stinky cologne
Am I the only one who is sick and tired of tomb raider...i mean the game was ok 4 years ago when it came out, but if im that damn hard up to see some rendered boobies I'll play dead or alive 2. Eidos give up on the tomb raider franchise it just is plain old anymore.
That's why since then you have often been caught singing "I can't have no Satisfaction"
;)
"The obvious mathematical breakthrough would be development of an easy way to factor large prime numbers." Bill Gates,
Idunno, the Pokemon movie did pretty friggin' good, and that's based, however indirectly, on a video game. Still, if that's any indication of the Tomb Raider movie's quality, count me out. Plus, there's the FF movie in the works too. Mortal Kombat 1 wasn't bad, and neither was the animated Street Fighter movie (which did very well in Japan).
Thanks for offering some unbeleivable drivel to my otherwise drivel-ridden day. You're clearly a member of the /. "good-ole-boy" network, because I've seen *huge* amounts of posts that actually required a brain, and they scored 0 or 1 (which given the digital nature of things is a *whole* lot more kewl, anyway)
Guns don't kill people; Physics kills people! - John Lithgow as Dick Solomon on Third Rock From The Sun
Listen, I appreciate your homo-sexual tendencies ... but don't you think they belong in a more appropriate forum than this "Sequel to kitten" (you pickle sucker you!)
Guns don't kill people; Physics kills people! - John Lithgow as Dick Solomon on Third Rock From The Sun
Those of you anxious to see anything more than an extended strip-tease of Angelina are in for a disappointment.
It's almost a LAW that movies based on video games are doomed to suck! Do I even have to run down the list? Super Mario, Judge Dredd, Street Fighter...I'm thinking this'll be a movie NOT to see again and again.
--==Tandem the Spoony rides on!==--
I'm an avatar pilot. Lara is my favorite.
Why?
It's simple. She's mad, bad and dangerous to know. She can jump higher than anyone in the NBA, perform gymnastics that would kill humans, and she can draw a bead with an arsenal contained in the only bag of holding outside an FRPG.
When I first played the Demo on the PC I was very impressed (even for a P-75 it was nice). Unlike many cowards here, I think I shared some of the affection Lara's creators may have had for her. Yes, it's possible to feel responsible, or upset, or even a muted form of love for Lara...if you get careless, she dies. It can get emotional. She's classy. She's eternally unattainable. Oh yeah, she's also got a voice (courtesy of Juddith Gibbins) that makes my heart do shit that I'd really rather not write about.
Lara Croft is the _first_ genuinely successful "digital" personality. As such, she's wonderful. As a tool of greed in the hands of idiots she's becoming a nightmare.
I've played tr1..tr3 (tr4 is utter rubbish) and it's a shame the chaps at CORE, after performing annual "Lara" deathmarches to the corporate drum of EIDOS, are about completely ambivalent about their star...because even though they're working on other games, TR consistently seems to bring in the $$$.
This movie is going to be tragic. Lara is a DIGITAL character. She's not M-E-A-T.
Seeing any meatpuppet doing terribly awkward looking poses with weapons in her hands is going suck ass. IT's going to flop because who the hell is going to want to hear Lara's voice coming from the Joile meat-thing? Who the hell is going to want to see some meatpuppet get CGI'd into acrobatics, leaping, falling, etc? Not this breadwinner. If it's anything other than campy, it's going to be crappy.
Out of respect for this digital personality, I'll avoid seeing the analog parody of her, and encourage others to also. If asshole companies like EIDOS can't remove their heads long enough to take a breath, they deserve the drubbing they're going to recieve when the drop this movie into a descriminating TR audience. Would I be pissed if the movie was going to be CGI...of course not. But going analog is lame. Instead of doing something ground-breaking they're going to do something out of greed. I hope it bites them in the ass, just like TR4 has (Used PSX TR3=$35, Used PSX TR4=$25) at the local used shop.
Every new form of media has it's own Requirimento
a) Angelina looks dead good. I saw her in "The Bone Collector", man, the last five minutes have been really fine... b) This doesnt matter because Tomb Raider b1) isnt a good game anyway, b2) can never be a good movie. Simply impossible. c) However, it will be a top movie cause there are too much of that horny gamers out there awaiting to see gorgeous Angelina acting like a female Indiana Bond. CU in the cinema...
Always run = ON
Angelina Jolie as an actress possesses grace, beauty, and finesse. Anyone yet to see her performance in the movie "Girl Interrupted" is in for a treat. I don't know about you guys, but I for one am happy they chose her to take on the Lara Croft character.
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JavaScript tutorials scripts
Personally I think this is some japense ploy to divert our attention while they bomb pearl harbor again :]
Actually, no, the creators of South Park thought of something like that first and you just ripped off the idea to try to sound funny. You failed.
That has to be a fake tatoo, I can't imagine anyone stupid enough to commit to *that* for life!
How are they going to make a movie of Tomb Raider? There's nothing there to make a movie of. Making a movie from a book is bad enough, but making a movie out of a computer game seems like a stretch to me.
--Baelmix
Isn't she liable to drop a sprog this year? Could make for an uncomfortable shoot.
Man to emancipated wife: How do you like your eggs?
Wife: Unfertilised
LOL.
Somehow, though, I really doubt that they're going to do it like that.
Sorry man, but I'm going to have to kick you out of the elite United Coalition of Trolls for the Abolition of Moderation. Your posts keep getting moderated up by these commie moderators, so I have no choice but to ban you for life effective immeadiatly.
If you want to get back in our elite top secret organization, I suggest you add random troll phrases to your posts. "TACO's MOM GIVES GOOD HEAD", for example, would be a good closing line.
Dr Kool, PhD
Founder & CEO: United Coalition of Trolls for the Abolition of Moderation
Professor of Troll Studies
Harvard University
>Angelina Jolie was once in a music video by Meat Loaf. Now, have any
>of you ever seen or listened to Mr. Loaf? If so, can you offer some
>sort of explanation for his existence? I'm waiting...
We're all waiting for the end of time so we can end our time with *YOU*......
Who cares about a Tomb Raider movie? Final Fantasy will be released next year!! :0)
Nick
-- "It's a sad day for American capitalism when a man can't fly a midget on a kite over Central Park" - Jim Moran
Now I'd really like to see a movie without a walking silicon plant as the big female star.
For God's sake there are many pretty and talented actresses that don't have implants.
If they just wanted the tits and lips they could've taken that gal that posed for the original Lara Croft model - I heard she has made a couple of 'changes' to her looks to make her look more (she's gone from a B cup to a DD or something similar - that's not where the talent is, missy, it's in the head!) like Croft.
L-ViS
Tomb raider doesn't sound like a porno,
but womb raider certainly does.
The real highlight of Hackers was Fisher Stevens. Admit it. He was easilly the least menacing villain in the history of modern cinema. Without him, hackers would have been crap. With him, it was high camp. Maybe they could get him to play an evil archaeologist in Tomb Raider.
--Shoeboy
Why couldn't they have just picked up the "real" Lara Croft for the movie adaptation? I can't imagine a video-game-turned-movie is going to have much in the way of acting requirements, anyway.
True, but you still gotta have professional acting experience. That cuts it down to a small subset of those with good looks };-)
Incidentally, has anyone here seen the InciteGames poster of LC for TR: The Last Revelation? It's this almost life-size poster of a non-CG Lara. She looks all right, although the similarity to the canonical CG model is a bit of a stretch.
(Oh, and for those curious, she actually has (*gasp!*) realistically sized breasts! No helium hooters here, folks!)
The most amusing thing about that poster is the name of the model, mentioned way at the bottom-left corner: Lara Weller.
iSKUNK!
I guess there's not enough Canadians here yet, but there's a shot-in-Toronto TV series called "Relic Hunter" which is basically a female Indiana Jones. Haven't watched any episodes yet, cuz it looks *really* bad, and not Good bad either.
:)
On the Canadian Comedy Channel, there's a show called Buzz, which is like a gonzo Entertainment Tonight. In the commercials, there's footage of on of their reporters calling Tia over for a soundbite, and his question is this "Tia! Tia! I always watch Relic Hunter with the sound off. What's it about?"
Needless to say, Tia laughs very heartily! Score +1 for Tia for having a sense if humour.
Hell, she must have: she was is Kull!
Pope
It doesn't mean much now, it's built for the future.
See Womb Raider here.
.pdf viewer)
(Must have a
Actually, he almost backed out of his role as Eddie. Most of the actors had been in the stage production, but Meat hadn't seen the show. He rehearsed for awhile, working on "Hot Pattotie (Whatever happened to Saturday Night?)", his one song, without really seeing any of the rest of the cast.
When they put the whole thing together for a full cast rehearsal (to paraphrase Meat's own memories), Tim Curry came out in full corset and fishnets, wearing makeup, and Meat "got the HELL out of there". "No way... ain't no way I'm doing a drag show", as he related on his Storyteller's tour. The director or producer took him downtown and spent an afternoon convincing him to stay in the part.
He cites as his biggest influence a Football player, and he cites football and acting as his passions that he channels into music. His singing (and live shows) are more stage productions than your standard "musician on a stage" style.
Other than seeing him ever time he comes through, and meeting him several times, I also am a big Rocky Horror Fan (along with my girlfriend), and run timewarp.org.
-- Evan
"$30 for the One True Ring. $10 each additional ring!" -- JRR "Bob" Tolkien
The first model hired to play her was Rhona Mitra. Then Nell McAndrew took over, and after hypeing herself up with the free publicity promptly blew it by appearing in Playboy (UK). Eidos/CORE immediately got a court injunction against Playboy forcing them to pull the magazine to put stickers on the cover to block out the words "Tomb Raider's Lara Croft - Nude!". (Trademark infringement IIRC.)
Why not? She's already playing a Lara clone in Relic Hunter (blatant T.R ripoff).
---
In the beginning, Lara was a decent action hero. Yeah, she was exaggerated physically, but other than that she was believable. Tough but sexy, with the sexy more of an afterthought. Since then, the developers have gotten a bit too horny and full of themselves. Lara is now featured in magazines wearing swimpy swimsuits, or topless and covering herself with a towel, etc. Good grief. Teenage boys rule the game business.
After all, the Lara Croft character is basically a female Indiana Jones with a british accent, and very well.... well... endowed physique.
Everyone knows how well the Indiana Jones trilogy did. Can it be done without Speilberg at the helm? Can Angelina stand up to that kind of non-stop action as well as Harrison Ford? Who knows. But it IS possible.
And well endowed girls with british accents have enjoied a great deal of commercial sucess these last few years. Spice Girls anyone???
I can definately see it doing well at the box office... if it's done right. I can even see it being a very good movie... if it's done right. Angelina Jolie IS, after all, a very good actress (and the only high point of "Hackers") afterall.
john
Imagine all the people...
Way to burn some mod points OOG...
Moderation Totals:Troll=4, Funny=4, Overrated=1, Underrated=1, Total=10.
Truly impressive.
numb
Erk! Only the other day aicn was reporting that Simon West was to direct a film remake of The Prisoner.
Perhaps the Brit-property adaptation stories have got muddled up. Or perhaps they are the same film. Personally, the thought of a Hollywood version of The Prisoner is bad enough without Lara Croft starring.
OT: OOG's post above seems to have attracted the following moderation:
Last time I checked, Troll was normally negative. Unless minus three people have moderated it. Hello sid=moderation people; there really is something odd going on...
--
This comment was brought to you by And Clover.
Here's some more tasty goodness: http://www.rushmagazine.com/pictorials/jolie2/ (Mod this up a bit, if you feel so inclined; It's nice to share!)
Got Rhinos?
Hey OOG, would you settle for Nell McAndrew?
Ohh yeah and beat plague
Ignore the "p2p is theft" trolls, they're just uninformed
...but I don't really see the Tomb Raider movie as being a big hit. Video game movies (Mario Bros, Double Dragon, etc...) never have done good. Ever. That was back when Super Mario Brothers was a household name.... and now... a Tomb Raider movie. Intrest in video game "icons" has dropped a lot since I was a kid... and I can't see anybody really loving this movie.. I mean, the only people that like the game are people that think Lara is hot and wanna have sex w/ her, or like how the game plays, the puzzles, and the overall feel of the game. Well, if you are in it it for the second one...sorry. But if you do like glorified breasts and the such... Tomb Raider sounds like a good choice.
but there is always porn too...
djsw
...never been a big fan myself, but I remember seeing the concept shots of an actress dressed up in the Tomb Raider outfit that were apparently used as the "inspiration" for the digital art of Lara Croft.
Why couldn't they have just picked up the "real" Lara Croft for the movie adaptation? I can't imagine a video-game-turned-movie is going to have much in the way of acting requirements, anyway.
Then again, I've been wrong before...
--Lenny
I am a man of const int sorrows
Kinda funny PVP's strip (today/yesterday depending on when you read this) just covered this.. though oddly enough, going with the rumour that she wasn't Lara croft.
You can check it out here
OOG NO LIKE TOMB RAIDER, BUT OOG WANT GET IT ON WITH LARA CROFT!!! OOG ALSO LIKE ANGELINA JOLIE!!! OOG NO CARE ABOUT OSCAR SHE WON, SHE MAKE OOG THINGIE GROW BIG!!! OOG THINK ANGELINA JOLIE HOTTER THAN ALL THOSE CAVE CHICKS OOG USUALLY DATES!!! OOG GO CLUB ANGELINA WITH OPEN SOURCE CAVEMAN CLUB AND BRING HER BACK TO HIS CAVE!!! OOG WANT SEE MOVIE SOON, HOPE THERE BE NUDITY TO SATISIFY OOG!!! OOG BREAK HEAD IF NO NUDITY IN MOVIE!!!
OOG THE OPEN SOURCE CAVEMAN!!! OOG BREAK HEAD WITH OPEN SOURCE CD!!!
UGG HEAD LAWYER FOR ANGELINA JOLIE!!! UGG REQUEST RESTRAINING ORDER FROM JUDGE FRIENDS FOR OOG OPEN SOURCE SEXUAL HARASSER!!!
UGG ALSO NOTE FURTHER SEXIST CONVERSATIONS IN SLASHDOT COMMENTS BY OPEN SOURCE COMUNISTS!!! UGG SUBPOENA SLASHDOT REMOVE POSTINGS!!! ALL COMMENTS MUST BE ABOUT JOLIE ACTING ABILITY!!!
ANGELINA WENCH OF UGG!!! UGG BREAK OOG THINGIE!!!
UGG THE LAWYER!!! UGG BREAK OPEN SOURCE HEAD WITH LAWSUIT!!!
It should have been Natilie Portman!!!!
Harrison Ford is still indy, but he's a little old to be dragged by a truck. ;)
;)
;) Have the Zerg invade Earth or something similar, expand on the Raynor/Kerrigan relationship, and do something about those underpowered battlecruisers...
I was hoping Tomb Raider wouldn't be a movie, at least not a live action one. I mean, graphics have just about advanced to the point that there's no need to make a live-action film. Sink the millions into cut-scene quality animation and get some voice actors (that were used for the game, if possible). It's just a small beef about CG to live action conversion that rarely, if ever, works.
(like it really matters. At this point, TR is probably a cash cow, so milk away, Eidos.)
But eventually, I'd like to see a few RTS games get converted to movies. Just think: a game's storyline without glitchy AI!.....
Command and Conquer: After all the spiel about computer games sucking as movies...a game that used live actors for cut scenes and mission intros. And, for the most part, well acted. Kane's actor nailed Diabolical Evil. And, we'd get to see hapless redshirts get zapped by the Obelisk or squicked by armor. They could save money on production by splicing in ID4's exploding White House scene; ID4 won't be needing it.
Starcraft: Sponsorship by the National Propane Board.
Diablo: Oh. hell. yeah. Gauntlet, meet Blair Witch Project. I know it isn't rts, but the BWP angle puts this game on the list.
Earthseige/Starseige:
"Little Lord Peter was missing his leader
while Harabec played in the red.
Down came the glitches,
who burned us in ditches.
We slept after eating our dead." --Opening cutscene, Starseige.
I just want to see Prometheus get wiped out by the Starseige Bus. =O
Warzone 2100: Hello, Eidos...take advantage of the game's crew transfer functionality to send a single set of characters through the tech trees (which might turn the movie into a mini-series, but, Wah!).
How good is her upper class English spoilt brat accent?
See more of this busty goodness here http://www.homunc ulus.com/icons/jolieangelina/JolieGallery18.html
P.S Moderate this up +1 informative.
- Dolly Parton
- Kathy Bates
- Jenna Jamison
- Samuel L. Jackson
- The Pepsi Chick
- Tia Carrere
- Anne Heche
Personally, it looks like the films gonna suck, but at least we'll get some good adult film titles out of it, no?Exemplifying boobies, like Lara
The 'big-boned' tomb raider.
Doesn't tomb raider kind of sound like a porno?
The wise-crackin', ass-trashin', bitch-slappin, yoda-fashion tomb raider
The cute tomb raider with the Pepsi tie-ins.
The exotic tomb raider
The lesbian tomb raider