Gather around, children, and listen to the words passed down since time immemorial.
In the beginning, there was no Devil May Cry and no Onimusha, for you see, they were originally crafted together as one game. That game, whose name has long been lost in the fog of history, was a true masterpiece, worthy of being played by the gods themselves. It had everything that a gamer could want from an action brawler. The graphics were colorful and creative, with models so detailed that even the 3D sculptor, Dreams About Wacom, would weep to see them. The play control was intuitive and powerful - even a beginner needed mere seconds to understand how all of the buttons worked, and the number of options available to the player was staggering; attack animations linked smoothly together, and combo options branched and merged so seamlessly that even Salmon, who is so in tune with water that he can swim up a waterfall, was impressed by its fluidity. And the game's cinematography was designed with great care and nuance; all the gameplay always took place in-frame, and the dialogue of the cutscenes possessed a truly moving poetic quality.
But, like so many great things, the game was prideful. It boasted to all the other games of its amazing user experience and high replayability, and, for a time, all the other game were so cowed by the one True Game - for that's what it was, children, even if we no longer know what it was called in the days when it was young - that they offered no rebuttals, even games from other genres entirely. Until one day, Capcom, Creator of All Megamans, He Who Brings The Super Fireball, Bitches, heard the wailing of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles For Xbox.
"Why do you weep?" asked Capcom, Who Put Evil In Residence. And TMNT:Xbox cried, "Because no one will play me! Once the Consumers hear of its virtues, they will run to EB Games and pre-order, and my launch date will be forgotten! How can I compete against it?"
And Capcom, Who shall Fight the Final battle, took pity upon TMNT. And so he found the True Game, and charged it with hubris. Such was his anger that he drove into the heart of the one True Game with a Psycho Crusher, thinking to kill it. The force of the impact split the game in twain, and Capcom departed to face a New Challenger.
But he had underestimated the might for the one True Game, for it did not die, but rather each of the halves took on a life of its own. Some time later, Onimusha and Devil May Cry awoke and dusted themselves off and discovered what had happened to them. After the surprise wore off, they took stock of their bodies, to see how many points of damage had been dealt to them by the Lord of Action. "My cameras!" exclaimed Devil May Cry, "They have been damaged beyond all repair! Now, when someone tries to play me, most of the time they will be staring at a wall or pillar while they must do battle offscreen, guided only by sound effects and the combo meter!" "Cameras? You complain to me about cameras?" thundered Onimusha, "My control scheme has been ruined! When my players are beset with foes, they will have to deal with threats from multiple sides by slowly, slowly turning in place, while they are unable to protect themselves from threats outside their immediate facing!"
When Capcom heard that the True Game had survived, he was wroth, until he returned and examined them in person. Then he began to roar with laughter. "Fine!" he said to Onimusha and Devil May Cry, "If your wish to live is so great, then live! But remember what happens to those who build themselves up beyond the level of mortals - I will cut them back down to size!"
And that, children, is how Onimusha and Devil May Cry were created, in the first days.
Well duh. Don't you think the GP thought of that? A tower of twinkies stacked end-to-end would NEVER stand up. You have to lay them down on top of each other, lengthwise!
Sheesh, some people, always trying to take the easy way out...
"We're gonna build this thing called HURD, and it's gonna be just like Unix, only it'll be GNU, and it's gonna run great and there will be developers and users and all that other stuff that real operating systems have." - Richard Stallman
Ironically, John Hurt plays Supreme Chancellor Sutler in V for Vendetta.
I had completely forgotten ever having seen 1984 until I started reading your comment... and then, just before I got to the line I quoted, I suddenly realized, "Wait a minute, wasn't the actor who played Winston the same one who played Sutler in V for Vendetta?" Man. That is totally awesome. Best. Casting decision. Ever.
(Except possibly for choosing Patrick Swayze to play the perverted motivational speaker in Donnie Darko.)
1 baud != 1 bps. Baud is the signaling rate in events per second; a signal event can represent more than 1 bit of data. If you have a system that signals 10 times per second, with each signal encoding 4 bits of data, you have a system that is 10 baud, and 40 bps. Using baud in place of data rate is a common misusage. See the wikipedia entry on Baud for more information.
Metal Gear Solid 3 is an example of a game which does a good job using cutscenes rendered using the game engine; in the game, you can change your uniform and facepaint, and Snake will be wearing the appropriate outfit during movies. Max Payne 2 was also highly consistent; for instance, there was one point where I got the jump on the bad guys by throwing a grenade just before triggering a cutscene where a car pulls up and goons get out. The grenade went off DURING the cutscene, killing two of them as they emerged from the car.
I could never keep this straight until the movie Get Shorty. There's a scene where John Travolta corrects Dennis Farina on the proper usage. Farina is about to yell something back when the heavyset goon working for him butts in, "To the best a my knowledge, e.g. mean, fo' example."
Would you like them on a plane? Would you like them on a train? Would you like them on a boat? Would you like them in your coat? Would you like them on the road? Would you like them in a commode?
I would not like them, Samuel J, I do not like snakes any way.
I was a senior in high school when this happened. I knew many people who were falling all over themselves to brag about the letters. "I got kicked off of Napster by Metallica!" "I got kicked off of Napster by Dr. Dre!" "Oh yeah, well I got kicked off of Napster by Metallica AND Dr. Dre!"
Not exactly 'dogs and firehoses', but I guess every generation has to start somewhere.
I'm afraid that you were attacked by a Semantics Nazi, not a Grammar Nazi; your mistake was not in choosing the wrong form of, or position for, a word, but in choosing a word with a different meaning from the meaning which you intended.
If it makes you feel better, I can play the part of the Grammar Nazi by mentioning that "Nazi" isn't a verb. Toodles.
Slashdot Mirror
Gather around, children, and listen to the words passed down since time immemorial.
In the beginning, there was no Devil May Cry and no Onimusha, for you see, they were originally crafted together as one game. That game, whose name has long been lost in the fog of history, was a true masterpiece, worthy of being played by the gods themselves. It had everything that a gamer could want from an action brawler. The graphics were colorful and creative, with models so detailed that even the 3D sculptor, Dreams About Wacom, would weep to see them. The play control was intuitive and powerful - even a beginner needed mere seconds to understand how all of the buttons worked, and the number of options available to the player was staggering; attack animations linked smoothly together, and combo options branched and merged so seamlessly that even Salmon, who is so in tune with water that he can swim up a waterfall, was impressed by its fluidity. And the game's cinematography was designed with great care and nuance; all the gameplay always took place in-frame, and the dialogue of the cutscenes possessed a truly moving poetic quality.
But, like so many great things, the game was prideful. It boasted to all the other games of its amazing user experience and high replayability, and, for a time, all the other game were so cowed by the one True Game - for that's what it was, children, even if we no longer know what it was called in the days when it was young - that they offered no rebuttals, even games from other genres entirely. Until one day, Capcom, Creator of All Megamans, He Who Brings The Super Fireball, Bitches, heard the wailing of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles For Xbox.
"Why do you weep?" asked Capcom, Who Put Evil In Residence. And TMNT:Xbox cried, "Because no one will play me! Once the Consumers hear of its virtues, they will run to EB Games and pre-order, and my launch date will be forgotten! How can I compete against it?"
And Capcom, Who shall Fight the Final battle, took pity upon TMNT. And so he found the True Game, and charged it with hubris. Such was his anger that he drove into the heart of the one True Game with a Psycho Crusher, thinking to kill it. The force of the impact split the game in twain, and Capcom departed to face a New Challenger.
But he had underestimated the might for the one True Game, for it did not die, but rather each of the halves took on a life of its own. Some time later, Onimusha and Devil May Cry awoke and dusted themselves off and discovered what had happened to them. After the surprise wore off, they took stock of their bodies, to see how many points of damage had been dealt to them by the Lord of Action. "My cameras!" exclaimed Devil May Cry, "They have been damaged beyond all repair! Now, when someone tries to play me, most of the time they will be staring at a wall or pillar while they must do battle offscreen, guided only by sound effects and the combo meter!" "Cameras? You complain to me about cameras?" thundered Onimusha, "My control scheme has been ruined! When my players are beset with foes, they will have to deal with threats from multiple sides by slowly, slowly turning in place, while they are unable to protect themselves from threats outside their immediate facing!"
When Capcom heard that the True Game had survived, he was wroth, until he returned and examined them in person. Then he began to roar with laughter. "Fine!" he said to Onimusha and Devil May Cry, "If your wish to live is so great, then live! But remember what happens to those who build themselves up beyond the level of mortals - I will cut them back down to size!"
And that, children, is how Onimusha and Devil May Cry were created, in the first days.
Well duh. Don't you think the GP thought of that? A tower of twinkies stacked end-to-end would NEVER stand up. You have to lay them down on top of each other, lengthwise!
Sheesh, some people, always trying to take the easy way out...
Maybe I should apply for his job. According to my wife, I'm excellent at being wrong all day.
C.an.dy. C.an.dy is de.lic.io.us.
WARNING: Chest plate is not bulletproof. Cape does not allow wearer to fly.
Thanks for illustrating the grandparent's point.
We should have slowly been withdrawing from any influence in that area
You keep using that word...
while making sure that both China and North Korea understand that if they invade South Korea, we'd bomb the hell out of whoever did it.
I do not think it means what you think it means.
In other news, gasoline is a totally useless product, because I don't own a car.
I find Bill & Ted's motherboards to be EXCELLENT!
I think you're on to something, chief...
"We're gonna build this thing called HURD, and it's gonna be just like Unix, only it'll be GNU, and it's gonna run great and there will be developers and users and all that other stuff that real operating systems have." - Richard Stallman
Yes, actually. What the hell is wrong with you?
Ironically, John Hurt plays Supreme Chancellor Sutler in V for Vendetta.
I had completely forgotten ever having seen 1984 until I started reading your comment... and then, just before I got to the line I quoted, I suddenly realized, "Wait a minute, wasn't the actor who played Winston the same one who played Sutler in V for Vendetta?" Man. That is totally awesome. Best. Casting decision. Ever.
(Except possibly for choosing Patrick Swayze to play the perverted motivational speaker in Donnie Darko.)
Indeed. Comparing Pastafarianism to Christianity is ridiculous because the FSM exists, and God doesn't.
1 baud != 1 bps. Baud is the signaling rate in events per second; a signal event can represent more than 1 bit of data. If you have a system that signals 10 times per second, with each signal encoding 4 bits of data, you have a system that is 10 baud, and 40 bps. Using baud in place of data rate is a common misusage. See the wikipedia entry on Baud for more information.
Intelligent falling: not just for Wile E. Coyote anymore!
Metal Gear Solid 3 is an example of a game which does a good job using cutscenes rendered using the game engine; in the game, you can change your uniform and facepaint, and Snake will be wearing the appropriate outfit during movies. Max Payne 2 was also highly consistent; for instance, there was one point where I got the jump on the bad guys by throwing a grenade just before triggering a cutscene where a car pulls up and goons get out. The grenade went off DURING the cutscene, killing two of them as they emerged from the car.
full
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
I could never keep this straight until the movie Get Shorty. There's a scene where John Travolta corrects Dennis Farina on the proper usage. Farina is about to yell something back when the heavyset goon working for him butts in, "To the best a my knowledge, e.g. mean, fo' example."
Would you like them on a plane?
Would you like them on a train?
Would you like them on a boat?
Would you like them in your coat?
Would you like them on the road?
Would you like them in a commode?
I would not like them, Samuel J,
I do not like snakes any way.
I was a senior in high school when this happened. I knew many people who were falling all over themselves to brag about the letters. "I got kicked off of Napster by Metallica!" "I got kicked off of Napster by Dr. Dre!" "Oh yeah, well I got kicked off of Napster by Metallica AND Dr. Dre!"
Not exactly 'dogs and firehoses', but I guess every generation has to start somewhere.
I'm afraid that you were attacked by a Semantics Nazi, not a Grammar Nazi; your mistake was not in choosing the wrong form of, or position for, a word, but in choosing a word with a different meaning from the meaning which you intended.
If it makes you feel better, I can play the part of the Grammar Nazi by mentioning that "Nazi" isn't a verb. Toodles.
You didn't forward the email? But my intensive-care therapy bill is due today, you insensiti
NO CARRIER
As a counterpoint, seeing the windmills is my favorite part of the drive to Southern California.
Those games also use both sticks, but in a completely different way.
I seem to recall Virtua On (or was it Cybersleds?) used a control scheme that was basically like Katamari.