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User: Maj.+Kong

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  1. Fight Back with Bukkake Ashcroft! on U.S. Justice Department Prepares Assault on Pr0n · · Score: 3, Funny

    It's time to get tough. No wimpy ribbons this time. It's time for the Bukkake Ashcroft Campaign for Free Speech.

    1. Download a picture of the Attorney General.
    2. Make a color print of the picture.
    3. Jerk off on the picture. Do not look at the picture while you jerk off. Well, you could, but I don't want to know about it. I suggest you close your eyes and think of Asia.
    4. If the face of the man who wrote "Let the Eagle Soar" isn't liberally (heh) covered with spooge, GOTO 3.
    5. Take a picture of your Bukkake Ashcroft. Do not, REPEAT, do not use a flatbed scanner.
    6. Post this picture on your home page. Or use someone else's site if you're so inclined.
    7. ?????
    8. Free Speech!

    I guarantee that if enough people do this, it'll have an effect that a million EFF ribbons couldn't hope to match.

    Maj. Kong

  2. Spot the reference... on Two Spam Filters 10 Times As Accurate As Humans · · Score: 5, Informative
    CRM114 was a piece of encryption gear in Major Kong's...err, my B-52 in the movie Dr. Strangelove . It allowed only properly coded messages to be received by the crew. When the Soviet SAM detonated near the airframe, the CRM114 was damaged and the crew could not get the recall order.
    Kong: (announcing through headset intercom )

    This is your attack profile: to insure that the enemy cannot monitor voice transmission or plant false transmission, the CRM114 is to be switched into all the receiver circuits. Emergency phase code prefix is to be set on the dials of the CRM. This'll block any transmission other than those preceded by code prefix. Stand by to set code prefix.

    ObKubrick: In 2001: A Space Odyssey, one of the pods was marked with the designation CRM-114. And in Clockwork Orange, Alex is injected with serum 114. I suppose CRM-114 is to Kubrick as THX1138 is to Lucas.

    Dobly, on the other hand, is from This is Spinal Tap , a mispronounciation of "Dolby" by David St. Hubbins's girlfriend:

    Jeanine Pettibone: You don't do heavy metal in Dobly, you know.

    Not to mention that it probably avoids trademark infringement (though I wouldn't put it past Dolby Labs or Thomas Dolby to raise a stink).

    Maj. Kong
  3. Re:wait'll SCO finds out on China Building Linux-Based 10 Teraflop Supercomputer · · Score: 5, Funny

    In one corner: Darl McBride, the SCO Group, and two dozen lawyers.

    In the other corner: the People's Liberation Army.

    Yeah, I'd pay to see that.

    Maj. Kong

  4. Re:Ask any Slashdotter... on Record Labels Looking for a Cut of Tour Revenues · · Score: 1

    First of all, performance royalties are paid on a quarterly basis, not every six months. Perhaps you should have a talk with your local postman.

    Second, RTFA. The amount of money spent on recorded music is an order of magnitude greater than the amount spent on live shows. Saying that bands make more on touring than recording is like saying that 2 is greater than 12. Maybe it's that new math they've been teaching the kids...

    Finally, I wouldn't call Robbie Robertson a dinosaur. He called it quits after sixteen years on the road and launched a successful career as actor, producer, and film composer. That's evolution; dinosaurs don't evolve.

    Maj. Kong

  5. Re:Flat wrong on Record Labels Looking for a Cut of Tour Revenues · · Score: 1
    I grew up around Detroit. I have had many friends from that area who were in bands and who have supported themselves for years - some of them decades - by "touring." No albums to hype, no record labels to hold them up, and no names I expect you would recognize if you were not from the area and the time.

    There are hundreds of bands in every city that do just that, supporting themselves by playing live shows. However, these shows are weddings and bar mitzvahs.

    Maj. Kong
  6. Re:Better be quick.. on Kid-Safe Domain Created · · Score: 4, Funny

    "Oh bother," said Pooh, as he pulled open his sphincter.

    Maj. Kong

  7. Re:Major T.J. Kong Would Have Taken A Cowboy Hat on Brian Walker (aka Rocket Guy) Fires Back · · Score: 2

    Not just a cowboy hat, but a real goldurn Stetson.

    Maj. Kong

  8. Re:Make people not want to use it on Blocking Instant Messengers? · · Score: 2
    Honestly, what's the difference between a cracker monitoring your actions and your admin doing the same?


    Admin: legitimate agent acting with the authorization and enforcing the policies of the network's owner.

    Cracker: none of the above.

    Honestly, what's the difference between Rev. Shanley "touching" your child and your pediatrician doing the same?

    Maj. Kong
  9. Re:Tricky... on NY AG Sues MonsterHut Over Marketing Spam · · Score: 2

    i think you need brackets -- foo@[127.0.0.1] -- for this to work.

  10. Re:I think not... on Your Own Luxury Submarine! · · Score: 4, Informative
    Does GPS work on board when it is submerged?


    Nope. Only ELF (extremely low frequency) signals can penetrate the murky depths.

    Subs take a GPS fix when they're surfaced or close enough to the surface to extend an antenna. In between fixes they rely on inertial navigation systems (and the quartermaster's grease pencil) to determine location.

  11. Re:from the speech on Slashback: Grammy, Sirius, Levies · · Score: 2
    Most "artists" make their money from touring, endorsements, and generally working their asses off.


    Touring is, at best, a break-even proposition financially. Most artists consider it a necessary evil. Touring is meant to promote a product; it is not an end unto itself, hippie jam bands excepted.

    In addition, touring sucks. Life on the road sucks. Ramada Inns suck. Playing the same songs every night sucks.

    Endorsements? Hah. Except for Pepsi and Britney, who is seeking musicians for endorsements? Instrument manufacturers. They're not Nike: there's no $20 million deals here, just free gear worth maybe hundreds of dollars.

    Selling shiny discs is the primary source of income here.

    Maj. Kong, father of a struggling indie artist.
  12. Re:Also under development: on Battlefield Lasers · · Score: 2, Funny
    Tom Clancy said...


    Citing Tom Clancy as an authority on millitary affairs is like citing the late Stephen King as an expert in criminology.

    Maj. Kong
  13. No! Not Europa! on Goldin to Retire from NASA · · Score: 1
    Didn't the Monolith warn us about Europa?
    ALL THESE WORLDS ARE BELONG TO YOU EXCEPT EUROPA. ATTEMPT NO LANDINGS THERE.


    When those tentacle thingies break through the ice to pull down the probe, we can't say we weren't warned.

    Maj. Kong
  14. Something is missing... on The America Online Protocol Revealed · · Score: 0, Troll

    #include <me_too.h>
    #include <a-s-l.h>
    #include <ALLCAPS.H>

  15. Stockpile weapons... on Slashdot in Politics? · · Score: 2

    ...before they're declared illegal by the Office of Homeland Security.

    Why? Because when faced by a horde of armed geeks, negotiating with the moderates looks awfully good to The Powers That Be.

    Maj. Kong

  16. Re:Don't ride the bomb... on A Physicist with the Air Force · · Score: 2

    Goddamn them Rooskies, shearing the teleflex drive cable with that SAM. I got them doors open and hared lips on Bear Creek.

    Waaaaaahhhooooo!

    Maj. Kong (dec'd)

  17. Re:Not wishing him too much luck... on Slashback: Carpal, Displays, Asylum · · Score: 2
    Maybe you should care - the COS is as famous as Cantor and Seigel for making the net a worse place. They started with an attempted rmgroup to silence their critics. It looks as if they then escalated to cancels of critic's posts, then auto-generated spam floods, cross-posts to Nazi hate groups, and now seem to be trying child porn floods of alt.religion.scientology (probably to later claim it is a haven for pedophiles.) Fear those that try to drown the free exchange of ideas.


    The KP spam attack on a.r.s. is a red herring. It's been hitting nanau and a.h.m just as hard.

    It's not scientologists and it's not the owner of the domain being spammed that's doing this. It's just the same kiddies who put Steve Gibson offline.

    What's really worrying about that attack is that it's a covergence of a remote trojan (on @home and uswest broadband users) and Hipcrime's NewsAgent, a newsgroup flooding program. Broadband providers abuse desks are either non-existant or understaffed, compounding the problem.


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  18. Re:They were, twice. on Hyperreality: The U.S-China Standoff · · Score: 1

    Another story that I seem to recall: In the 1970's, when a Russian spy plane was forced to land near Japan, it was taken quietly into an American base, dismantled, and sent back to Russia in pieces two/three weeks later.


    You were this close to the truth...

    It was a Soviet interceptor, a MiG-25, piloted by a defector named Viktor Belenko. The Japanese government used perfectly legal excuses (customs regulations, airworthyness inspection) to keep the jet fighter for a few months so their techies (and the US/NATO's) could sniff over it. Even though the -25 was one of their most capable interceptors (it was designed to get within missile range of our SR-71 spy planes), the construction quality was pretty crude by Western standards.

    The plane was shipped back to the USSR in crates. Belenko shows up at Nellis AFB for Red Flag exercises every so often as an OpFor "advisor".

    Maj. Kong

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  19. Let's cut the bullshit... on Hyperreality: The U.S-China Standoff · · Score: 1

    The EP-3 wasn't a "spy" plane, it was an ELINT asset, just a big antenna with wings, picking up whatever it could from international waters. Spy planes like the U-2 and SR-71 overfly foreign territory, just like our satellites do every ninety minutes.

    The Russians still send a Tu-95 Bear down the East Coast every week, and the Chinese would do the same if they could project power that far.

    In 1941, both the US and the USSR were sneak-attacked (Barbarossa in June '41, Pearl Harbor that December). Since the end of that war, we've spent billions of dollars to insure that we don't get surprised again (since this time it would go nuclear). ELINT and SIGINT is supposed to keep us informed of opposition readiness and intentions.

    Funny how ENIGMA and Turing's BOMBES are revered by geeks, yet the assets used to collect the data are reviled.

    Now, would anyone care to count the antennas on top of the local Chinese or Russian embassy?

    Maj. Kong
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  20. Re:V22 on Software Problem Linked to Osprey Crash · · Score: 1
    There's a word for this, it's called "overengineered". The Marine Corps wanted a new helicopter, what they got was on over-engineered, overly-expensive, overly-complicated monstrosity that has already taken taken twice the time it would have taken to develop a new helicopter, and *IT'S STILL NOT READY*. In the meantime, their aged fleet of CH-46 Sea Knights (many with authentic Vietnam-era bullet-holes) is just getting older, and failing more frequently.


    The Corps wanted the Osprey to replace the aging, complex CH-47 Chinook (Boeing Vertol to the civilian market), as well as the -46. The Chinook has had plenty of problems with its twin rotors, even though it's a "conventional" helicopter.

    The V-22 has twice the speed and twice the capacity. Anyone who thinks 4 crashes makes a "deathtrap" is ignorant of the history of aircraft systems development (c.f. Martin B-26, Boeing B-29, Convair F-102, General Dynamics F-111, Harrier, etc.).

    Maj. Kong

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  21. Re:American's are paranoid on Slashdot During War? · · Score: 2

    Never understood why they call the 52 a buff, I always thought they looked pretty cool (at least in flight).


    BUFF = Big Ugly Fat Fucker.

    Flown them for years, when they were almost old as I was (last one off the line was 1962).

    Real name is the "Stratofortress", a/k/a "Aluminum Overcast".

    Maj. Kong
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  22. Re:American's are paranoid on Slashdot During War? · · Score: 2

    A Harrier can't land on a highway either. They already blow huge chunks out of the special landing pads they use. Try landing one on a US highway (or almost any road for that matter), and you'll have a plane that can't get back up because it a)tore up the whole area around it and b)in the process of tearing up all that asphalt and/or concrete, it managed to also put a few rather significant holes in it's self.


    You do know that the AV-8B Harrier is VSTOL, that is can take off like a conventional aircraft, without using its vectored thrust systems. Also, it can take off vertically from rough fields prepared with steel runway mesh and from the decks of LHDs. So there's no reason that it can't take off conventionally from a highway or vertically from a highway or field prepared with steel mesh.

    Landing conventionally on a highway is also within the Harrier's operational envelope.

    Maj. Kong.
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  23. Re:American's are paranoid on Slashdot During War? · · Score: 2

    Even the damn road system was built so that aircraft would have a stretch of runway every few miles "in case of war".


    Bullshit

    Ever seen a B-52H son? Big ugly fat fucker, with a wingspan that would need a 20-lane highway. Ever been to an Air Force Base? Those runways are specially reinforced concrete twenty feet thick.

    With 6,000 airports and thousands of square miles of dry lake beds out west, you don't need to land on highways.

    True, the Interstate highways were an Eisenhower Administration project built with civil defense and military mobility in mind (the 12' 6" minimum overpass height were supposed to accomodate troop and missile carriers), based on the German Autobahn.

    And yes, there are plenty of European nations (Sweden, Finland, Germany, UK, Russia) that use their highways as emergency staging areas for military aircraft. But these are always small fighters and fighter/bombers, smaller than anything in the USAF inventory. You might be able to pull it off with the A-10 or a USMC Harrier, maybe even a C-130 (which landed on a carrier deck once -- the test pilot got the DFC for that one), but that's about it.

    Now, if you want to talk paranoia, take a look at all of the armory buildings that were built in the late-1800s and early-1900s, when the urban gentry felt threatened by rioting immigrants and bomb-throwing anarchists. The machine guns in those armories were meant to mow down rioters, something that happened a number of times (Haymarket riots, Bonus Army, Pullman strike).

    Maj. Kong, USAF (ret.)

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  24. Re:What if... on Civil Rights For Aliens? · · Score: 2

    What if there's something they consider a basic right, which we consider immoral? Or vice-versa?


    Yeah, those anal probes would be illegal under Georgia's sodomy laws. It's a big issue among gray rights advocates.

    Gray Pride! Keep reaching for that nebula!

    Maj. Kong
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  25. IHNJ, IJLS... on World's Greatest Gamers, Unite · · Score: 1

    Kibo is the Panty Cat champion of the world.

    But you knew that.

    K.
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