If they're so serious about open source, why don't they GPL the code for AutoCAD? Just kidding, I know they wouldn't do that. But I do wish they'd release a version for the Mac. AutoCAD, SolidWorks, and Mastercam are the only applications that keep us using Windows here. The rest of our work is done with free software or in-house software, which has, over the years, migrated from DOS machines to Windows machines to Linux and FreeBSD, and now, to the Mac, and with commercial software that has either a Linux or a Mac version. If only those three powerhouse applications worked on the Mac, there would be NO MICROSOFT SOFTWARE in this company!
A big thanks to the GCC team.
on
GCC 4.1 Released
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· Score: 2, Insightful
Well, it's Thanksgiving, so let's give all the good folks in the GCC team a big warm Thanks for all the years of improvement to this centrally important software package. Without GCC, it is doubtful that the free software movement could be taking place at all. And with the improvements that have been added in the last year or two, GCC is getting to the point that commercial software vendors will have to come up with some really innovative ideas to compete with it, even for production of commercial software! In fact, I think all software for the Mac is compiled with GCC 4 and onwards.
Dude, all you have to do is build a static binary that doesn't need any outside files, and program it so that the only thing outside of your program that you depend on are system calls that have been around since, say, kernel 2.4 or so. Then, you're just about guaranteed that your software will work on any system. In fact, if you use system calls that are pretty much available on any *nix, then you're pretty much guaranteed that it will work on anything with an x86.
They are quite imaginative in their approach to advertising. I wonder if the advertiser will have to pay Google each time someone is connected via phone (for other than phone charges), and whether, as an advertiser, you can limit the number of phone calls that will take place (to, say, five per hour), in case you're just a small business without hundreds of operators standing by.
I know there have been conspiracy theories, and thoughts about voting systems being tampered with all over/. and other sites. Personally, I take those with a grain of salt, BUT, since these voting systems are closed, proprietary, and under the control of some organization that may or may not necessarily have the public's best interests at heart, I wouldn't be surprised if holes are found.
If there's a backdoor of some kind for someone to specifically tamper with the voting results, that would be BAD, but I'd be surprised. I will not, AT ALL, be surprised, however, holes in the operating system, programs underlying the voting software proper, or so-called "middleware" are chock full of holes that someone could use. For that reason, I am very much against this process.
My suggestion to fix the system: There is nothing wrong with filling out (or sending in, for absentee voting) a paper ballot, which, in my opinion, should be produced with anti-counterfeiting and anti-tampering technologies, similar to those employed in our currency. An electronic system could be used to optically scan and process the votes, with individuals verifying the optical scan, and this information should be entered into a database for any kind of processing that the government needs to do, along with the optical scan of the original paper ballot. Most importantly, however, is this: Each paper ballot should have an attached "carbon copy" of some type that the user keeps, which will come with a special user ID and passphrase that the user can use after the election date to log in to a secure site and verify that his individual vote was counted as he intended. This sort of public watchfulness on the voting process will create a situation in which it will become extremely difficult to alter the results.
For the special low price of only $1,000,000,000.00, payable in 1000 easy monthly installments of only $1,000,000.00 each, I will sign an agreement stating that I won't develop products specifically designed for finding links to pirated materials. I don't have time for that kind of activity anyway, and in fact, I don't know how to develop such products even if I did have the time to do so, but maybe having such an agreement with me will make you feel better about the piracy that does, unfortunately, take place elsewhere. And it will only cost you $1,000,000,000.00, a discount of over 60% over the regular price! So what are you waiting for?
Windows AD (the replacement for Windows XP) would freeze up every so often (at random intervals) and display a new, enhanced BSOD containing targeted advertising based on what the user types. All the user's unsaved data would then be lost, and when the user reboots, it will say, "Because YOU did not shut down Windows properly, a lot of your data is now corrupt. Nanny nanny boo boo!"
Sony BMG today detailed a program that should allow customers who bought one of the 52 titles known to be tained with the company's deeply flawed anti-piracy software to exchange them for CDs of the same title, sans rootkit of course.
No no no! They got it all wrong. They should do what my friend's landlord did when he kept complaining that the dishwasher didn't work: They came, turned it on, and when it made noise, they said, "It works fine." And of course, it didn't: First, it smelled disgusting in there, like there was rotten food inside the machine. Second, just because it sprayed (dirty smelling) water doesn't mean it "works fine." Third, if you put a dish in there that was clean to begin with, it came out dirty. And I believe that such a dishwasher makes a perfect analogy for compact discs that contain defective software.
So what Sony should do is this: They should publicly offer customers who bought one of the flawed CDs to exchange them for identical ones! As if we're talking about workmanship in the production of the compact disc proper and not the contents. Hey, just act like you don't know a darn thing about technology when it comes to this type of thing! And when the customer complains that the replacement still contains the rootkit, just say, "It works fine."
Sony. Where do you want to go today? (Hell, they almost make Microsoft look good in comparison. Almost.)
It could be used for drag racing. That would be cool.
I mean, what the heck other uses are there for a landing strip, except drag racing? Drag racing is what life is all about. Life revolved around drag racing. There is nothing else in life except drag racing. What the hell is a drag racer doing posting in/.? Well, let me tell you. One year, I rolled my car at the drags and ended up in the hospital for a long time. My only connection to the outside world was a computer with an Internet connection. I didn't know jack about computers before that. I only knew carburetors, V8s, throttle cables, and the like. But when I discovered computers, I learned they can be cool too. So here I am, suggesting that the ultimate geek use of NASA's landing strip would be as a drag strip.
The next thing you know, there will be draconian laws protecting "content." The purported purpose of these laws will be to protect the people who make this so called "content"--that is, people like artists, musicians, authors, programmers, actors, and others. Unfortunately, the real use of the laws, in practice, will be to line the pockets of already incredibly rich multinational corporations, which will hardly--if at all--give the people whom the laws are purported to protect--enough money to even survive. Then, these same multinational corporations, which will keep all the profits to themselves, will hunt down and prosecute anybody who does anything with "content" with which the multinationals are not happy, in the name of protecting the persons whom the same multinationals are not paying enough, despite making a killing off those very same works.
Next thing you know, you'll have to stick your eye into all kinds of devices everywhere you go to authenticate your identity. And the next thing that will happen is that thieves, gangsters, thugs, and other malcontents will go around poking persons' eyes out to use them in these iris detection devices. It's going to be disgusting, and there will probably be a lot of people out there missing their eyes.
So that's what those things were! I saw those in the grocery store the other day. A package of four coffees cost about ten dollars! That's worse than those retarded Starbucks bottled "Frappuccinos." They look weird, like those thermos-like narrow and tall coffee cups that you can take on the road (like Starbucks used to sell, which I know only because someone gave me one as a gift), yet they look strangely like something you are supposed to microwave or something. Only you can't because on the inside of this cup, there is what appears to be an aluminum can.
I couldn't gather, by looking at it, whether they're reusable or disposable. If they're reusable, it stands to reason that they should sell such a contraption "empty" (perhaps coffee grounds included in the package or sold separately) for people who could use such a thing. If they're disposable, it seems like an awful waste.
The Longtooth Post can now be found on its own web site, due to popular demand. Here is the portion relevant to this story:
Microsauft will address the security problem through a variety of changes to the Longtooth codebase. First, as I mentioned in the past, Longtooth will no longer be based on the NT design philosophy, as were previous versions. Instead, Microsauft plans to release DOS 9.0 2003, an 8-bit multithreaded DOS written in VB Server.NOT. Longtooth will run somewhere on top of that, above several hundred layers of abstraction and a thunking mechanism to convert 64-bit calls to 32-bit calls to 16-bit calls to 8-bit calls to 4-bit calls and then back to the 8-bit calls required by DOS 9.0 2003. The DOS syntax will be completely changed into a format significantly more complicated than the bash, csh, sed, awk, perl, m4, and makefile formats used in Linux and UNIX operating systems. These changes will add significant complexity to the command line, providing Microsauft a basis to claim that the Longtooth command line is more powerful than its Linux counterparts. It will also intimidate most users, giving Microsauft ample reasons to tout its Microsauft User Simplicity and Security Manager 2003 as the most innovative thing since sliced cucumber.
As an example of the new syntax, suppose you wish to view the contents of a directory. In the old DOS, you would use the terse and ineffective "DIR" command. With Longtooth, you will be able to use the much more capable command, "DIR-print (sed/e:++ : a--$ C$$ awk | lesstif (+, +, +, +) at 0900+W+ $ while (w--- O- M+ V-- S++$) { P++>$ x++ }) >>display | formatTabulated".
Linux is the suxx0rz and here's why: I downloaded and burned a Knoppix 3.9 ISO. This is one of many distros that I have tried and used with much success. It starts up and works as it should, quite nicely I should add. So why am I saying that Linux is the suxx0rz? It's not the software. It's the documentation. To this day, I have not experienced a single piece of documentation that was actually accurate.
Case in point: Knoppix is supposed to have scripts you can call from the command line that create boot/root floppies, install Knoppix to the hard drive, and do other nice things. Only problem is, the documentation, both the docs on the CD itself, and the docs found throughout the Internet, is all wrong. There is no mkbootfloppy command, as the cheatcodes on the very same disc say there is. I found at least 3 different names of utilities that are supposed to install Knoppix onto the hard drive. None of these exist on the CD. Everything is upside down, equine-backwards, and inside out in the documentation. Linux is the suxx0rz.
The PC industry today announced that it has reached an important milestone in the pricing of personal computers (PCs). A brand new entry level but fully loaded PC may now be had for the bargain price of -$300.00 or less. That is, the computer maker pays the customer $300.00 or more to take the computer off its hands. Customers are still displeased with the price of PCs, though, as most believe they should be paid $500.00 or more to take the computers off the manufacturers' hands.
I know this sounds ridiculous, but at this rate, computers will sell for so cheap that if you're an electronic hobbyist in need of a capacitor to build your latest project, it will be cheaper to buy a brand new computer and unsolder one from the motherboard than to buy a capacitor at Radio Shack.
Back in the day, there was a game from Sierra Online called Space Quest 4. There was a part in this game where the main character, Roger Wilco, is in a space mall. There was a store called Radio Shock there, and in the "box of slop, er, bargain bin" there was a software title called something like, "Where in the Universe is Heim Leipzig? (And Who Cares?)" or something like that... A joke on Broderbund's game, "Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?" I don't remember this Heim guy's name; it was years and years ago.
The point: Nobody knows who the fsck this Jamie Zawinski is. Nobody cares what OS he runs. That software title from the box of slop may as well be called "Where in the Universe is Jamie Zawinski? (And Who Cares?)"
Eh? What the devil is going on here? For weeks at a time, nearly every other article here was about Microsauft Windoze Longtooth. I got good ROI on my investment in the notorious "Longtooth Post". Then Apple announces they are switching to Intel and suddenly every other post is about them!
That's it, I'm starting work on "The Leopard Post". Where OS X requires the root password each time MOV EAX EBX occurs. Where the Finder realizes it's lost. Where Job Steves outsources the BSOD code to Gill Bates. And where Clippy finally comes to OS X.
Apple Inside. Where do you want to think different today?
It's long since stopped being funny, and just makes stories on Slashdot annoying as hell to read as we scroll past your 8 pages of the same joke.
You think it takes a long time to scroll past this shit? How long do you think it took me to write the damn thing? Besides, I get paid based on the amount of time people spend scrolling through this bastard post from hell. Once I get a contract based on score, rather than scrolling time, version 4.0 of The Longtooth Post will be optimized for brevity... See you then.
According to my sources, that new shell will be in Longtooth.
As we all know, Microsauft programmers have been hard at work, producing the next version of Windoze, known as Longtooth. Here is a culmination of my thoughts, based on what I've read in the press, and based on what all of my friends have said.
Now I know that some of you, upon reading the phrase, "viruses, worms, spam, spyware, adware, malware, hackers, crackers, and phreakers," will think that this post is a dupe, as has been discussed at length. Astute readers would note that past posts were, in fact, slightly modified from one version to the next, but due to their length and complexity, those less careful readers perceived them to be verbatim copies of one another. The present post is a complete rewrite, and has much new information to offer. This is, in fact, version 3.0 of the now notorious "The Longtooth Post".
Without further ado, let's begin: Last weekend, I spoke at length to all of my friends, and he told me some interesting facts. As luck would have it, he works for Microsauft as an "Associate Engineer Custodial Specialist.NET" or something like that. Anyway, he has lots of inside information, and I'll pass it on here:
The most significant news first: Microsauft has been in ongoing negotiations with IBM and FreeScale. Apparently, Longtooth will require a switch from x86 hardware to PPC hardware. This move is designed to give Microsauft partners a chance to make additional profits by selling boatloads of new computers in response to the release of Longtooth, and will eliminate the chance that more advanced users will simply "upgrade" their existing software installs. It will also help Microsauft sell many copies of Microsauft Visual Estudio.NET Developer Edition, which will allow thousands of software developers to convert their application to the PPC format. Microsauft plans to initiate an advertising campaign to point out the advantages of PPC hardware over the less capable x86 hardware.
Other interesting tidbits from emails he picked out of the trash dumpsters. (Internally, all emails at Microsauft headquarters are physically printed out by the sender and hand delivered by couriers. Apparently, ever since switching their email servers from FreeBSD to their own internal software, email doesn't work electronically anymore.) For example, the projected release dates and product prices were sent in one email he found in the trash. Longtooth is a vast undertaking, and will be the biggest improvement in the software since 1995. Despite Microsauft's claims that Longtooth will be released by 2006 or 2007, the planned release date is actually late in 2019. The price list will be as follows:
Longtooth Personal Edition, $299.
Longtooth Professional Edition, which includes additional drivers, powerful networking utilities, and other features, $399.
Longtooth Enterprise Edition, which is the same as Longtooth Professional Edition, plus Microsauft's new anti-virus software, $1,199.
Longtooth Developer Edition, which includes everything in Longtooth Enterprise Edition, plus Visual Estudio.NET Developer Edition, $9,999.
Longtooth Simple Edition, a simplified version of Longtooth, missing most of the features, for use in selected third-world countries, $1,149 per CPU plus $29 per kilobyte of RAM present in the machine (1 GB minimum) per single-user, single-seat, non-floating, node-locked license, plus mandatory installation charge of $2,199.
Going online and buying all editions of all Microsauft titles in one fell swoop: Priceless. For everything else, there's MasterCard.
Of course, all components in the more expensive versions of Longtooth (except Simple Edition) will be available separately. For example, Microsauft's anti-virus software will be available separately for $39.95. Visual Estudi
The old MIT thing about SGI and Compaq throwing away their innovative technologies and betting the farm on x86 is really quite stunning. You rest assured, I don't care what Apple does to make it so that OSX will only run on Apple Mac86s, it will take perhaps a day to get it running on your average Dell. Even if their motherboards and hardware are designed completely differently from those of PCs, and all the addresses of various devices are as they are on a Mac, rather than a PC, you rest assured that all it will take is a compatibility layer, akin to what FreeBSD has for running Linux binaries unchanged, to make any part of OSX execute on any PC, and in fact, it won't even require Darwin to run. I can already see hacks that run Aqua on Linux/x86 (er, forgive me, that's GNU/Linux/x86) and hacks that get Final Cut working on User Space Darwin running on Linux, and all kinds of other ridiculous stuff. Apple just bet the farm and I am disappointed. Hopefully I won't be when I see the products that will emerge from these changes, but it's only a matter of time before my own Mac is useless because the newer applications will no longer be compiled for G4. Fsck. The IBM/FreeScale processors have been steved.
As the author of the now infamous "Longtooth Posts" here on Slashdot, I was, for a moment, extremely tempted to post one right here. (Version 3.0 is almost complete, for those of you who are waiting.) BUT this story about Samba, which is a tool that I use all the time and have installed in at least a dozen different companies, strikes close to home, and I must reply seriously.
This is a bunch of bullcrap. The Samba team did not have that information available. In fact, the protocols and codes were reverse-engineered to obtain interoperability.
But let's say, for just a minute, that Microsoft somehow wants to pull Samba into this ridiculous web of deceit. Nobody said that this has been approved already. And if enough people raise hell at the EU, this will be turned down. Besides, when someone points out that the EU undoubtedly uses Samba in possibly thousands of EU government computers (at various levels in government), this will get turned down extremely quickly.
Microsoft can continue to turn defeats into stunning victories, but the tighter they close their fists, the more computers slip through their fingers. And there will be a day when no computer in the world runs anything with the name Microsoft on it. I guarantee it. Many empires that were bigger and more powerful than Microsoft are now but a footnote in a history book. Where is the Roman empire? I don't care if it lasted a thousand years before it fell. Microsoft will not be so lucky, especially as they piss off increasing numbers of individuals, companies, and even governments with their business practices, prices, and defective products. And even if Samba is somehow supposed to be banned from the EU, there are billions of people all over the world, and thousands of Samba programmers who live outside the EU, and rest assured they will continue to use and develop it anyway.
The title of this article is not accurate. It states that there is a calculator flaw. That would be something like the circa-1995 Pentium flaw with the FDIV instruction. Or, you try to add 1+4+9 and you get 15. That is a flaw. What's being discussed here is a calculator feature that is not wanted by certain idiots.
Instead of giving children calculators and then wondering why nobody can figure out any math, why not go back to the good ol' way of teaching math, the way it's been done for 3000 years, and let the kids do the math in their head, or with pencil and paper, or some such thing?
Mandatory political comment: liberals, leftists, and democrats are undoubtedly horrified at this idea. Interestingly, these are the same parties that often say we need more money for education, more televisions and computers, more books with more colorful pictures, and of course, we have to make sure that everything is politically correct, because these children's minds have to be stuffed into a tiny box. But this is the causation fallacy: The amount of money spent on education and related stuff has nothing to do with the output, meaning, educated children. That is why the U.S. now has an enormous problem with a lack of science, engineering, and math skills. Nobody can spell worth a damn. Nobody understands the rules of grammar. Of course, everybody is an expert in "social sciences", meaning things like political correctness, how to put condoms on bananas, that sort of thing.
The point? There are schools where children sit in a circle outside on the ground and the teacher has one decrepid book to go around for everybody, and those students turn out a lot more educated. And there are schools that perpetually and eternally need "more money for education" so they can turn out increasingly worse-off students.
This case of the extra calculator function is only one example in a line of examples. Simply ban those calculators from tests and homework assignments, and you'll see that when children actually have to use their brains, they will be a lot better off.
You don't have to believe a word I said here. But please pay attention to what's going on around you, and note that much of the media (television, newspapers, movies, the pop culture) has a leftist bias. Also please note that in the time and space of a Slashdot post, I cannot make this information in the quality of a research paper, so don't ask me for sources. Just open your eyes, look around, and ask yourself, "Is this right?" Then ask yourself why we constantly need "more money for education" and why our children need calculators in the first place. Now flame away.
Slashdot Mirror
If they're so serious about open source, why don't they GPL the code for AutoCAD? Just kidding, I know they wouldn't do that. But I do wish they'd release a version for the Mac. AutoCAD, SolidWorks, and Mastercam are the only applications that keep us using Windows here. The rest of our work is done with free software or in-house software, which has, over the years, migrated from DOS machines to Windows machines to Linux and FreeBSD, and now, to the Mac, and with commercial software that has either a Linux or a Mac version. If only those three powerhouse applications worked on the Mac, there would be NO MICROSOFT SOFTWARE in this company!
Thanks folks, and happy Thanksgiving.
Dude, all you have to do is build a static binary that doesn't need any outside files, and program it so that the only thing outside of your program that you depend on are system calls that have been around since, say, kernel 2.4 or so. Then, you're just about guaranteed that your software will work on any system. In fact, if you use system calls that are pretty much available on any *nix, then you're pretty much guaranteed that it will work on anything with an x86.
Personally, I think that if you're stupid enough to sit on a copy machine, you deserve to get an ass full of broken glass.
They are quite imaginative in their approach to advertising. I wonder if the advertiser will have to pay Google each time someone is connected via phone (for other than phone charges), and whether, as an advertiser, you can limit the number of phone calls that will take place (to, say, five per hour), in case you're just a small business without hundreds of operators standing by.
If there's a backdoor of some kind for someone to specifically tamper with the voting results, that would be BAD, but I'd be surprised. I will not, AT ALL, be surprised, however, holes in the operating system, programs underlying the voting software proper, or so-called "middleware" are chock full of holes that someone could use. For that reason, I am very much against this process.
My suggestion to fix the system: There is nothing wrong with filling out (or sending in, for absentee voting) a paper ballot, which, in my opinion, should be produced with anti-counterfeiting and anti-tampering technologies, similar to those employed in our currency. An electronic system could be used to optically scan and process the votes, with individuals verifying the optical scan, and this information should be entered into a database for any kind of processing that the government needs to do, along with the optical scan of the original paper ballot. Most importantly, however, is this: Each paper ballot should have an attached "carbon copy" of some type that the user keeps, which will come with a special user ID and passphrase that the user can use after the election date to log in to a secure site and verify that his individual vote was counted as he intended. This sort of public watchfulness on the voting process will create a situation in which it will become extremely difficult to alter the results.
For the special low price of only $1,000,000,000.00, payable in 1000 easy monthly installments of only $1,000,000.00 each, I will sign an agreement stating that I won't develop products specifically designed for finding links to pirated materials. I don't have time for that kind of activity anyway, and in fact, I don't know how to develop such products even if I did have the time to do so, but maybe having such an agreement with me will make you feel better about the piracy that does, unfortunately, take place elsewhere. And it will only cost you $1,000,000,000.00, a discount of over 60% over the regular price! So what are you waiting for?
Sincerely,
Rice Burners Suck.
Windows AD (the replacement for Windows XP) would freeze up every so often (at random intervals) and display a new, enhanced BSOD containing targeted advertising based on what the user types. All the user's unsaved data would then be lost, and when the user reboots, it will say, "Because YOU did not shut down Windows properly, a lot of your data is now corrupt. Nanny nanny boo boo!"
Windows. It's what you should expect.
No no no! They got it all wrong. They should do what my friend's landlord did when he kept complaining that the dishwasher didn't work: They came, turned it on, and when it made noise, they said, "It works fine." And of course, it didn't: First, it smelled disgusting in there, like there was rotten food inside the machine. Second, just because it sprayed (dirty smelling) water doesn't mean it "works fine." Third, if you put a dish in there that was clean to begin with, it came out dirty. And I believe that such a dishwasher makes a perfect analogy for compact discs that contain defective software.
So what Sony should do is this: They should publicly offer customers who bought one of the flawed CDs to exchange them for identical ones! As if we're talking about workmanship in the production of the compact disc proper and not the contents. Hey, just act like you don't know a darn thing about technology when it comes to this type of thing! And when the customer complains that the replacement still contains the rootkit, just say, "It works fine."
Sony. Where do you want to go today? (Hell, they almost make Microsoft look good in comparison. Almost.)
I mean, what the heck other uses are there for a landing strip, except drag racing? Drag racing is what life is all about. Life revolved around drag racing. There is nothing else in life except drag racing. What the hell is a drag racer doing posting in /.? Well, let me tell you. One year, I rolled my car at the drags and ended up in the hospital for a long time. My only connection to the outside world was a computer with an Internet connection. I didn't know jack about computers before that. I only knew carburetors, V8s, throttle cables, and the like. But when I discovered computers, I learned they can be cool too. So here I am, suggesting that the ultimate geek use of NASA's landing strip would be as a drag strip.
Oh, wait, that already happened.
Next thing you know, you'll have to stick your eye into all kinds of devices everywhere you go to authenticate your identity. And the next thing that will happen is that thieves, gangsters, thugs, and other malcontents will go around poking persons' eyes out to use them in these iris detection devices. It's going to be disgusting, and there will probably be a lot of people out there missing their eyes.
I couldn't gather, by looking at it, whether they're reusable or disposable. If they're reusable, it stands to reason that they should sell such a contraption "empty" (perhaps coffee grounds included in the package or sold separately) for people who could use such a thing. If they're disposable, it seems like an awful waste.
Oh well. Wolfgang Amadeus Puck.
Microsauft will address the security problem through a variety of changes to the Longtooth codebase. First, as I mentioned in the past, Longtooth will no longer be based on the NT design philosophy, as were previous versions. Instead, Microsauft plans to release DOS 9.0 2003, an 8-bit multithreaded DOS written in VB Server.NOT. Longtooth will run somewhere on top of that, above several hundred layers of abstraction and a thunking mechanism to convert 64-bit calls to 32-bit calls to 16-bit calls to 8-bit calls to 4-bit calls and then back to the 8-bit calls required by DOS 9.0 2003. The DOS syntax will be completely changed into a format significantly more complicated than the bash, csh, sed, awk, perl, m4, and makefile formats used in Linux and UNIX operating systems. These changes will add significant complexity to the command line, providing Microsauft a basis to claim that the Longtooth command line is more powerful than its Linux counterparts. It will also intimidate most users, giving Microsauft ample reasons to tout its Microsauft User Simplicity and Security Manager 2003 as the most innovative thing since sliced cucumber.
As an example of the new syntax, suppose you wish to view the contents of a directory. In the old DOS, you would use the terse and ineffective "DIR" command. With Longtooth, you will be able to use the much more capable command, "DIR-print (sed /e:++ : a--$ C$$ awk | lesstif (+, +, +, +) at 0900+W+ $ while (w--- O- M+ V-- S++$) { P++>$ x++ }) >>display | formatTabulated".
The earthquake was caused by the impact of the news that Sarge is finally out. (It took several days before that news truly sank in.)
Case in point: Knoppix is supposed to have scripts you can call from the command line that create boot/root floppies, install Knoppix to the hard drive, and do other nice things. Only problem is, the documentation, both the docs on the CD itself, and the docs found throughout the Internet, is all wrong. There is no mkbootfloppy command, as the cheatcodes on the very same disc say there is. I found at least 3 different names of utilities that are supposed to install Knoppix onto the hard drive. None of these exist on the CD. Everything is upside down, equine-backwards, and inside out in the documentation. Linux is the suxx0rz.
February 19, 2009
The PC industry today announced that it has reached an important milestone in the pricing of personal computers (PCs). A brand new entry level but fully loaded PC may now be had for the bargain price of -$300.00 or less. That is, the computer maker pays the customer $300.00 or more to take the computer off its hands. Customers are still displeased with the price of PCs, though, as most believe they should be paid $500.00 or more to take the computers off the manufacturers' hands.
I know this sounds ridiculous, but at this rate, computers will sell for so cheap that if you're an electronic hobbyist in need of a capacitor to build your latest project, it will be cheaper to buy a brand new computer and unsolder one from the motherboard than to buy a capacitor at Radio Shack.
I have hereby removed Linux from my hard drive and have replaced it with FreeBSD. That is all.
The point: Nobody knows who the fsck this Jamie Zawinski is. Nobody cares what OS he runs. That software title from the box of slop may as well be called "Where in the Universe is Jamie Zawinski? (And Who Cares?)"
That's it, I'm starting work on "The Leopard Post". Where OS X requires the root password each time MOV EAX EBX occurs. Where the Finder realizes it's lost. Where Job Steves outsources the BSOD code to Gill Bates. And where Clippy finally comes to OS X.
Apple Inside. Where do you want to think different today?
You think it takes a long time to scroll past this shit? How long do you think it took me to write the damn thing? Besides, I get paid based on the amount of time people spend scrolling through this bastard post from hell. Once I get a contract based on score, rather than scrolling time, version 4.0 of The Longtooth Post will be optimized for brevity... See you then.
As we all know, Microsauft programmers have been hard at work, producing the next version of Windoze, known as Longtooth. Here is a culmination of my thoughts, based on what I've read in the press, and based on what all of my friends have said.
Now I know that some of you, upon reading the phrase, "viruses, worms, spam, spyware, adware, malware, hackers, crackers, and phreakers," will think that this post is a dupe, as has been discussed at length. Astute readers would note that past posts were, in fact, slightly modified from one version to the next, but due to their length and complexity, those less careful readers perceived them to be verbatim copies of one another. The present post is a complete rewrite, and has much new information to offer. This is, in fact, version 3.0 of the now notorious "The Longtooth Post".
Without further ado, let's begin: Last weekend, I spoke at length to all of my friends, and he told me some interesting facts. As luck would have it, he works for Microsauft as an "Associate Engineer Custodial Specialist.NET" or something like that. Anyway, he has lots of inside information, and I'll pass it on here:
The most significant news first: Microsauft has been in ongoing negotiations with IBM and FreeScale. Apparently, Longtooth will require a switch from x86 hardware to PPC hardware. This move is designed to give Microsauft partners a chance to make additional profits by selling boatloads of new computers in response to the release of Longtooth, and will eliminate the chance that more advanced users will simply "upgrade" their existing software installs. It will also help Microsauft sell many copies of Microsauft Visual Estudio.NET Developer Edition, which will allow thousands of software developers to convert their application to the PPC format. Microsauft plans to initiate an advertising campaign to point out the advantages of PPC hardware over the less capable x86 hardware.
Other interesting tidbits from emails he picked out of the trash dumpsters. (Internally, all emails at Microsauft headquarters are physically printed out by the sender and hand delivered by couriers. Apparently, ever since switching their email servers from FreeBSD to their own internal software, email doesn't work electronically anymore.) For example, the projected release dates and product prices were sent in one email he found in the trash. Longtooth is a vast undertaking, and will be the biggest improvement in the software since 1995. Despite Microsauft's claims that Longtooth will be released by 2006 or 2007, the planned release date is actually late in 2019. The price list will be as follows:
Of course, all components in the more expensive versions of Longtooth (except Simple Edition) will be available separately. For example, Microsauft's anti-virus software will be available separately for $39.95. Visual Estudi
The old MIT thing about SGI and Compaq throwing away their innovative technologies and betting the farm on x86 is really quite stunning. You rest assured, I don't care what Apple does to make it so that OSX will only run on Apple Mac86s, it will take perhaps a day to get it running on your average Dell. Even if their motherboards and hardware are designed completely differently from those of PCs, and all the addresses of various devices are as they are on a Mac, rather than a PC, you rest assured that all it will take is a compatibility layer, akin to what FreeBSD has for running Linux binaries unchanged, to make any part of OSX execute on any PC, and in fact, it won't even require Darwin to run. I can already see hacks that run Aqua on Linux/x86 (er, forgive me, that's GNU/Linux/x86) and hacks that get Final Cut working on User Space Darwin running on Linux, and all kinds of other ridiculous stuff. Apple just bet the farm and I am disappointed. Hopefully I won't be when I see the products that will emerge from these changes, but it's only a matter of time before my own Mac is useless because the newer applications will no longer be compiled for G4. Fsck. The IBM/FreeScale processors have been steved.
This is a bunch of bullcrap. The Samba team did not have that information available. In fact, the protocols and codes were reverse-engineered to obtain interoperability.
But let's say, for just a minute, that Microsoft somehow wants to pull Samba into this ridiculous web of deceit. Nobody said that this has been approved already. And if enough people raise hell at the EU, this will be turned down. Besides, when someone points out that the EU undoubtedly uses Samba in possibly thousands of EU government computers (at various levels in government), this will get turned down extremely quickly.
Microsoft can continue to turn defeats into stunning victories, but the tighter they close their fists, the more computers slip through their fingers. And there will be a day when no computer in the world runs anything with the name Microsoft on it. I guarantee it. Many empires that were bigger and more powerful than Microsoft are now but a footnote in a history book. Where is the Roman empire? I don't care if it lasted a thousand years before it fell. Microsoft will not be so lucky, especially as they piss off increasing numbers of individuals, companies, and even governments with their business practices, prices, and defective products. And even if Samba is somehow supposed to be banned from the EU, there are billions of people all over the world, and thousands of Samba programmers who live outside the EU, and rest assured they will continue to use and develop it anyway.
Instead of giving children calculators and then wondering why nobody can figure out any math, why not go back to the good ol' way of teaching math, the way it's been done for 3000 years, and let the kids do the math in their head, or with pencil and paper, or some such thing?
Mandatory political comment: liberals, leftists, and democrats are undoubtedly horrified at this idea. Interestingly, these are the same parties that often say we need more money for education, more televisions and computers, more books with more colorful pictures, and of course, we have to make sure that everything is politically correct, because these children's minds have to be stuffed into a tiny box. But this is the causation fallacy: The amount of money spent on education and related stuff has nothing to do with the output, meaning, educated children. That is why the U.S. now has an enormous problem with a lack of science, engineering, and math skills. Nobody can spell worth a damn. Nobody understands the rules of grammar. Of course, everybody is an expert in "social sciences", meaning things like political correctness, how to put condoms on bananas, that sort of thing.
The point? There are schools where children sit in a circle outside on the ground and the teacher has one decrepid book to go around for everybody, and those students turn out a lot more educated. And there are schools that perpetually and eternally need "more money for education" so they can turn out increasingly worse-off students.
This case of the extra calculator function is only one example in a line of examples. Simply ban those calculators from tests and homework assignments, and you'll see that when children actually have to use their brains, they will be a lot better off.
You don't have to believe a word I said here. But please pay attention to what's going on around you, and note that much of the media (television, newspapers, movies, the pop culture) has a leftist bias. Also please note that in the time and space of a Slashdot post, I cannot make this information in the quality of a research paper, so don't ask me for sources. Just open your eyes, look around, and ask yourself, "Is this right?" Then ask yourself why we constantly need "more money for education" and why our children need calculators in the first place. Now flame away.