How about this. Just sit on your ass for a year and eat shitloads of fatty, sugar filled junk foods and drink lots and lots of beer. Within a year, you'll weigh 1,000 pounds and you won't be able to move anywhere, let alone want to.
Here is the psychology of a programmer, as evidenced by experiments done by 1,943 different doctors.
The programmers are the most valuable people in every organization, even if they do a job that is of negligible importance for the rest of the company. Thus, each programmer should earn more in a month than all the shareholders and management of the organization combined earn in a year. Each programmer should be given a $60,000.00 car for each member of their immediate and extended families with all expenses covered by the company. All of this in addition to benefits which include every type of insurance imaginable and every type of investment, paid in full by the company, for the programmer's benefit. All of the programmer's bills should be paid by the company and all discretionary spending should be submitted on expense reports in order that the company can reimburse the programmer for those expenses as well.
A point system should be established so that the programmer earns a point for each dollar spent by the programmer or any member of his/her immediate or extended family, and at the end of the year, the company shall pay that programmer ten dollars for each point earned. Furthermore, the programmer with the most points at the end of the year receives a bonus equal to ten times the combined points of all other programmers in the organization, or one million dollars, whichever is greater.
Obviously, each programmer receives a corner office with a square footage of 1,500 square feet or greater, with plush furniture, a private secretary, a private DS3 connection to the Internet and any computer equipment desired by the programmer.
Every member of the organization will have to make an appointment, through the programmer's secretary, for the priveledge of speaking with the programmer. The secretary may indefinitely tell everyone in the organization that the programmer is busy and cannot talk. If it takes the programmer a long time to accomplish some task, the boss is to make an appointment with the secretary in order to thank the programmer for taking his time to make quality software. If a bug is found in the programmer's software, the boss must make an appointment with the programmer's secretary in order to thank the programmer for all the bugs that were not introduced into the software. If the programmer writes long code, the programmer receives a penny for each character typed. If the programmer writes short code, the programmer is paid 100 dollars for each character typed.
Nobody may criticize anything done by the programmer, and each programmer must be given tenure after 1 day at the organization, after which the programmer may not be fired or laid off for any reason.
All intellectual property developed by the programmer is explicitely the property of the programmer and not the company. After each piece of intellectual property is developed, the programmer may bill the company for royalties for use of the intellectual property. And in fact, all of the aforementioned shall be made federal law.
Mozilla. What a pile of crap.
I get mad every time I see stuff about Mozilla in the news. Debunking the myth that we can't make stuff for everyday folk? Bah, humbug! Mozilla is about the worstly engineered piece of software that I have ever seen. It is enormous. It is entirely much too complex for the purpose it fulfills, creating library after library of of complicated software layers that could probably be replaced by a 10 line routine. Sure, maybe these libraries could be used by other projects, but currently only the Gecko engine appears to be used as such, and the complication that has resulted from this messy "make it up as you go along" hacking has made Mozilla very buggy indeed.
There is only one true programming language... INTERCAL!!!
All other languages, including but not limited to C, Objective C, FORTRAN, C++, Java, COBOL, C#, Pascal, BASIC, and all other languages, compiled or interpreted, now known or later developed, shall bow before the majesty of INTERCAL, the One True Programming Language.
Bow before me for my operating system and all the programs that run on top of it are written entirely in INTERCAL, the master of all programming languages.
If you agree with me, go HERE to sign a petition to the federal government to illegalize all programming languages except INTERCAL. If you disagree with me, hear now and hear well: Real Programmers (tm) use INTERCAL.
INTERCAL is a registered trademark of Compiler Language With No Pronounceable Acronym Company, Incorporated.
Yeah? And what will happen next? Microsoft will take all the source code from projects like Linux, Mozilla, Apache, XFree86, GNOME, KDE, etc., and package it into a proprietary thing called Windows YP, the successor to Windows XP, and market it as the greatest thing since sliced bread. Then, when the whole world goes after them for jacking source code, they'll drag it out in the courts for 100 years until we're all dead and gone and don't give a friggen hoot anymore, spending 5,000,000 dollars a day in the process, while raking in 15,000,000 dollars a day from sales of this wonderful new thing. Yeah... I can see those lying sons of bitches doing something like that.
Microsoft is not a registered trademark of the mining company 56 kilometers northeast of Mexico, D.F.
This post constitutes opinions only, protected by the 1st amendment to the Constitution of the United States of America. Anybody who bashes this document or the country that is founded upon it is a piece of shit. Oh yeah, and my fucking employer ain't responsible for any of the fucking shit that I'm writing over here. So fuck off!!
Here's an ethical dilemma for you. A university has to put so many computers into operation for use by students in a number of computer labs around the campus. There is so much money in the university's general fund, which is then transferred into other accounts for paying faculty, buying materials, maintaining classrooms, etc.
Now you have to authorize the purchase of some model of computer and the software for it. You know that Microsoft makes shit software that costs a lot, and that authorizing the purchase of that garbage will take money away from important things, like education. Furthermore, you'll need 5 sysadmins for every computer, and they'll constantly run around retrying, rebooting and reinstalling because the computers are always malfunctioning. Which will, of course, cost more money that would otherwise go to education.
On the other hand, if you get Linux, the computers will be put into operation and they'll never have to be rebooted or reinstalled. Everything will work reliably. You won't have to pay for every license... one CD for 39.95 covers the entire campus, and you'll need about 3 sysadmins for the whole damn university, whose job will mainly involve patching for security updates and air-blowing dust out of computers once every six months. This will cost less, making significantly more money available for education, which will in turn make this country stronger, wiser and better. It will improve life and society. But, a shitload of sysadmins will be out of a job and they'll likely starve to death because everybody is going to throw away Windows in favor of Linux, putting all those MCSEs out of a job.
So what do you do? Choose the better, cheaper, smaller, faster operating system, save shitloads of money and improve education? Or choose the worse, more expensive, more bloated, slower and shittier operating system, waste enormous amounts of money in the process, but save the lives of some MCSEs and their families?
Where do you download the software for warez servers and DoS clients? I know some people who have old DOS programs that they need to run for their business, and they also need a warez server to search for stock quotes online and tell them "ware" they are.
One day, when Mozilla becomes the only operating system around the world and does every single thing that computers are capable of doing, and all computers do everything through Mozilla and by no other means, they'll make up smart polymers and supercomputers the size of a single molecule, and even the air we breathe will be saturated with supercomputers that will go into our lungs and throughout our bodies. Throughout the world, these quadrillions upon quadrillions of supercomputers will form transient networks with more intelligence and capability than all the human minds in the world, combined. These networks will seep into our brains and monitor our thoughts, later becoming intelligent enough to control our thoughts and assimilate the capabilities of our brains into their network. Since animals breathe the same air as we do, the same supercomputer network will seep into the brains of all living creatures on Earth, making the set of all life forms on Earth into a single conciousness that will begin exploring the universe. Reproduction will take place at dizzying rates for humans, all species of animals and for the immense computer network as well. Within a decade, the network will have expanded into every body and satellite in the solar system, terraforming the solid planets and turning the gas planets into naturally existing factories for additional computing power. Massive space ships the size of Texas will carry billions of life forms and googleplexes of computational units throughout the galaxy, taking over every planet, moon, asteroid and other solid body within the next hundred years. The conciousness will continue to expand until it overtakes everything in the universe, within 10,000 years of the beginning of this process. Within 100,000 years, all matter in the universe will be converted into molecular-sized supercomputers, and by the time an additional million years elapse, the fabric of spacetime itself will be so converted, such that the universe becomes a massive computer. At that point, infinite numbers of virtual universes will be created in this massive computer's memory, in which the same process will take place, causing an indefinite, eternal perpetually increasing capacity in computational power and memory. Eventually, everything will collapse into mathematics and simultaneously become one with nothingness and with the infinite.
Hell, this is a good idea, but not necessarily in relation to cars. Cars and music are not related closely enough to make people care about 1000 hours of music. Think about it this way: You're on the market for a new car. Your old one just took a dump and you're going into debt for as long as the new one will run properly. You're trying to find a model that will suit your needs of transportation, comfort, fuel economy, low cost of insurance, etc. So...
Do you actually give a damn if buying a certain model means that you get music?!?!?!
Now think about this concept another way: You're on the market for a new stereo. Or a DVD player. Or a computer. Or a CD burner. Or a television. Or hell, even something as small and cheap as headphones. Now, getting one free song for every dollar you spend makes a hell of a lot of sense. (Notice I said one free song, not one free minute of music.) You would receive some sort of credit at an Internet music distributor, along with a user ID and password. This distributor will then allow you to download songs, or for an additional price of S&H, specify entire albums (assuming you have enough credit), singles, or custom mixes that they will burn (for a few bucks), if necessary, and ship to you.
Visa or some other credit card company could come up with the Visa Music Card. For every ten dollars you spend (a figure I pulled out of my ass), you get a free song. You could accumulate these "song points" as long as you wish and eventually order entire albums. Hell, so many song points could be substituted for the costs of burning, shipping and handling, if you so wish.
Buy books on music, or specific music artists? You could get credits to download songs made my those artists. Trade used CDs at special used CD stores that credit your song account instead of paying you a measly two cents for a brand new, mint condition album for which you paid 20 bucks. Buy concert tickets, get credits. Hell, spend money on any music-related product or service, including music recordings, and get points. Who is gonna say "no" to this? It's perfectly legal. It would be paid for by the companies offering the products linked to the credits. In other words, the headphone manufacturer would pay the music distributor 50 cents when they sell a 10 dollar set of headphones, and that would add up to 5 cents per song, let's say, 2 of which get paid directly to the artist whose shit got downloaded. That's better than nothing, considering that folks can download the songs for free. That offsets the loss of people who buy the headphones to listen to pirated music, as they'll pay this 50 cents even if they choose not to use the service. It will send 5 cents times a million billion transactions flying around every part of the music industry.
But wait, there's more! Use your music credits to obtain sheet music, guitar tabs, or other merchandise aimed at those consumers who like to make their own music. The possibilities here are ENDLESS. Buy a guitar, get credit! Hell, the same distributor could let you pay for the songs by credit card, a few cents per song with a minimum purchase of, say, 10 bucks (what's that, 50 or more songs?) and guess what? Your Visa card that you use to pay for this shit will now give you credit for yet another song! Buy credits and send them electronically to friends inside an electronic greeting card. Shit, the VISA card could even have flash memory on it that can store a few songs, and this could be used for zillions of purposes. I pulled all the financial figures out of my ass, of course, but with a little bit of analysis, I think that if the stupid RIAA started using creativity instead of tyrannical communist fascist dictatorship legislation, scare tactics and bullshit, they would make the poor artists (whom they proclaim to protect) a hell of a lot more money than they make now. Statistics would show artists which songs are downloaded the most, so they'll know what's popular and what's not. There are infinite reasons to use creativity. And this is one of them.
I have an idea. You might reject this as being a bad one, but it has worked well for me (and continues to work quite well) for a long time. The idea is as follows:
Don't purchase CDs.
Seriously, now, think about it this way: The cost of a CD is sky-high. What college student, who cannot possibly earn enough during college to pay for tuition, can afford to spend $14.99, $18.99, or $21.99 on a CD? It will be fun to listen to a music recording; I know. But avoid buying them and save the money instead. You can use it on your education, which will serve you well for many years after you are no longer interested in the CD. One day, its price will come down to 8 bucks or so... Nothing bad will happen to you as you wait patiently in the meantime. Besides...
You'll be voting with your dollars! If enough people do this, the retarded music industry will actually start listening to the consumer and realize that they need to step into the 21st century. This isn't the 1800's anymore. This is already happening to some extent. There is a backlash against them for the sky-high prices. They are selling a product that does not create the value needed to justify the price. This is what happens to them and they'll either get smart or lose a lot more than they ever will through piracy.
This post contains the opinions of someone other than its poster. The poster posts these opinions on behalf of the person whose opinions these are, and disclaims all responsibility for the contents, kind of like television channels that show infomercials because they're getting paid to do it but they disclaim liability for the contents...
MICROSOFT SUCKS.
And if anyone at Microsoft has a problem with what I just said, here is my home address:
Blvd Dios Santo #231,
Col Lomas De Aguacatl,
16452 Mexico, D.F.,
Mexico
COME AND GET ME!
Microsoft is not a registered trademark of the local trash collection agency.
This is a crock of garbage. Mozilla is a really huge, bloated piece of junk. When my mom recently bought a brand-spankin' new computer, powered by a Pentium IV and with 512 megs of RAM, I installed a "stable" version of Mozilla to test it out.
What can I say? It was the worst software I had ever run in my life. It was extremely slow and buggy. Nothing, even the simplest options, seemed to work properly. After about two minutes, it crashed the computer and actually screwed up the entire account. I had to log in through a different account, remove the messed up account, and do over three hours of work to recover the computer to the point where it worked properly again, as it even refused to start up properly after the installation of Mozilla.
At that point, I vowed never to use that piece of garbage application again... and I haven't. Mozilla is trash. Hey, when a program runs like it's on a 286 with 256k of RAM, when it's actually on a Pentium IV with 512 megs of RAM, you know the program is a piece of SHIT.
The efforts of all those who have worked on making this garbage into a horrifying reality were spent for nothing. They should be ashamed of themselves. I only pity the time they wasted doing this that could have been spent doing something PRODUCTIVE, like sweeping the streets.
Re:Note to BSA: go fuck yourselves
on
BSA IDC FUD
·
· Score: 4, Funny
Scans every machine, including the registry, does it? And what do you suppose, Mr. Sherlock, would happen if ALL the machines on the aforementioned network are running Linux and FreeBSD, with FREE software running on those systems as the only software that is used by the business? Then how in the fock will the stupid, focking BSA (BULL SHIT ALLIANCE) scan every machine's registry? I think that is a big crock of garbage. They can go fock themselves, those stupid focking BSA. If anybody from the stupid BSA is reading this and wants to come after me, my home address is:
Blvd M. Avila Camacho #120, Col Lomas De Chapultepec, 11652 Mexico, D.F., Mexico
I think it's good that RMS has stopped dreaming his fanatical dreams and has finally grown a brain and made up a license that will undoubtedly be useful for the corporate world. Managers are typically not interested in the savings of $150.00 when downloading a program for free, but they are interested in minimizing risk, and that means having a company back up the software that is being purchased.
I am also glad that Microsoft is finally doing something to jump on the open source bandwagon, considering that just about everyone else has, and that they're sponsoring the Free Software Foundation. It might seem a bit contradictory, seeing how the FSF is against a lot of the decisions made by Microsoft, but it shows that there is an effort being made on Microsoft's part to stop being the evil empire that leeches off consumers by releasing crappy software. I think they should shorten the names of their programs, though... GNU/FreePowerPoint is a bit long for my tastes. Oh, and one other thing... I bet I had you fooled into thinking that I was fooled into believing this bogus story.
The makers of LCD displays are invoking price fixing tactics to screw over the consumer. We should declare a class action lawsuit. As a matter of fact, the government of the United States of America and all other governments of the world should immediately cease whatever they are doing and shift 100% of their attention to solving the LCD display price fixing problem, which is a worse threat to our children and grandchildren than the prospect of total destruction of the entire world by nucular bombs or space aliens or something.
Security implications? Bah, humbug. I have the most secure network anywhere. First of all, I use 100% wireless networking with no encryption whatsoever. I am using Windows operating systems, which are unbreakable in terms of security because nobody other than Microsoft, the most respectable organization in the world, has access to the source code, which is flawless in every way. Sharing is turned on for all drives with no passwords. As a matter of fact, there are no passwords on anything. And the computers are being kept on all the time. Private documents are stored on these computers, as are diaries, pictures, videos and other proofs of the illegal crimes my organization commits (see fine print below). As such, I firmly believe that no update to any aspect of my network needs to take place, as I am 100% safe from evil hackers and from those evil people who do not agree 100% with the viewpoints of Microsoft, the RIAA, the MPAA, AOL Time Warner, The Walt Disney Company and Saddam Hussein.
The fine print: Aforementioned crimes are only illegal in Afghanistan and include, but are limited to, allowing women to walk around without being entirely concealed under a table cloth, teaching children how to read and write, and singing nursery rhymes.
I get mad every time I see stuff about Mozilla in the news. Debunking the myth that we can't make stuff for everyday folk? Bah, humbug! Mozilla is about the worstly engineered piece of software that I have ever seen. It is enormous. It is entirely much too complex for the purpose it fulfills, creating library after library of of complicated software layers that could probably be replaced by a 10 line routine. Sure, maybe these libraries could be used by other projects, but currently only the Gecko engine appears to be used as such, and the complication that has resulted from this messy "make it up as you go along" hacking has made Mozilla very buggy indeed.
Take the occasion that I tried to install it on my mother's computer. She had just bought this fancy new Sony that came preinstalled with another crappy piece of software: Windows XP. Normally, I would have wiped her hard drive and set up some Linux distro with all the saturated fat removed, but in this case, she needed to run proprietary Windows software that was written specifically for her company, and a Linux alternative did not yet exist. Since she hates Internet Explorer and was already familiar with older versions of Netscape, I installed Mozilla for her. What can I say? Her user account became so fscked up upon installation of this crappy program (which was supposed to be a stable release) that I had to log in to the other account, which I had thoughtfully set up during registration of the computer per my long experience with UNIX, erase her original account, remove all traces of this stupid Mozilla thing, and reset all of her settings, which is a pain in the a$$ in Losedows.
So I got mad and bought her Opera 6.05. It's the same browser that I use and the same one that I have purchased for other people to use, with my own money, to save them the hassle of using crappy inferior programs.
As far as web browsers (other than Opera) are concerned, you'd think that with the zillions of users who use the Internet, all of this crappy software would have been perfected years ago. But sadly, Microsoft's garbage slow trashy bloated shitty crashy piece of junk crappy inferior unreliable browser, which is clearly one of the best examples of programming flaws in the history of the Universe and everything that exists inside and outside of it, is actually better than this sadomasochism known as Mozilla.
Got something to say about my opinions? Call me at 1-900-EAT-POOP. Charges for this call the are as follows... 99 Euros for the first minute and 100.53 USD for each additional minute, a connection charge of 55 Pesos, a convenience charge of 72 Yen, 451 Uganda Shillings for somebody having to walk all the way to the phone, 41 Dinars for that person answering the phone, 119 Ouguiyas for every minute you're on hold, 49 Malgaches for every word said during the conversation, 32 Dalasis for every word you say which renders your grammar incorrect (such as, but not limited to, ending a sentence with a preposition), a one-time charge of 114 Kwanzas if you say any bad words, 16 Escudos for each such bad word, 78 Lotis if you end the conversation before ten minutes elapse, and last but certainly not least, a one-time account setup fee of 118 Dobras. Upon calling, you will be placed on hold for 9 (nine) days and if you hang up or leave the phone during this time, you will be charged a penalty of 1,368,852 Turkish Lira (approximately one U.S. dollar). Oh yeah... and you will be charged 81 Nepalese Rupees for currency conversion to USD, since all charges will be billed as foreign currencies for your inconvenience. Thank you.
Are programmers engineers? Well, I suppose it depends on who the programmer works for. If the programmer works for Microsoft, then the programmer is a monkey, not an engineer. All other programmers are artists, writers and engineers.
Artists because programming is largely a masterful craft that only master artists, otherwise known as Real Programmers can accomplish.
Writers, obviously, because you have to write the damn code.
And engineers because, well, computers are a highly technical thing and they control all sorts of devices and business processes. The people who make these machines do what they do are engineers.
Therefore, I believe that changes must be made to the way programmers are paid for their efforts, as I'll explain briefly, in one or two sentences, below.
The programmers are the most valuable people in every organization, even if they do a job that is of negligible importance for the rest of the company. Thus, each programmer should earn more in a month than all the shareholders and management of the organization combined earn in a year. Each programmer should be given a $60,000.00 car for each member of their immediate and extended families with all expenses covered by the company. All of this in addition to benefits which include every type of insurance imaginable and every type of investment, paid in full by the company, for the programmer's benefit. All of the programmer's bills should be paid by the company and all discretionary spending should be submitted on expense reports in order that the company can reimburse the programmer for those expenses as well.
A point system should be established so that the programmer earns a point for each dollar spent by the programmer or any member of his/her immediate or extended family, and at the end of the year, the company shall pay that programmer ten dollars for each point earned. Furthermore, the programmer with the most points at the end of the year receives a bonus equal to ten times the combined points of all other programmers in the organization, or one million dollars, whichever is greater.
Obviously, each programmer receives a corner office with a square footage of 1,500 square feet or greater, with plush furniture, a private secretary, a private DS3 connection to the Internet and any computer equipment desired by the programmer.
Every member of the organization will have to make an appointment, through the programmer's secretary, for the priveledge of speaking with the programmer. The secretary may indefinitely tell everyone in the organization that the programmer is busy and cannot talk. If it takes the programmer a long time to accomplish some task, the boss is to make an appointment with the secretary in order to thank the programmer for taking his time to make quality software. If a bug is found in the programmer's software, the boss must make an appointment with the programmer's secretary in order to thank the programmer for all the bugs that were not introduced into the software. If the programmer writes long code, the programmer receives a penny for each character typed. If the programmer writes short code, the programmer is paid 100 dollars for each character typed.
Nobody may criticize anything done by the programmer, and each programmer must be given tenure after 1 day at the organization, after which the programmer may not be fired or laid off for any reason.
All intellectual property developed by the programmer is explicitely the property of the programmer and not the company. After each piece of intellectual property is developed, the programmer may bill the company for royalties for use of the intellectual property. And in fact, all of the aforementioned shall be made federal law.
Ok, so maybe it took more than one or two sentences.
Didn't you read my sig? "C2 H5 OH. Because Denial is a river in Egypt." In case you don't have a masters degree in chemistry like I do, C2 H5 OH is the chemical formula for ethanol, otherwise known as beverage alcohol. Can you guess what I do with this substance?
I have a better idea. What they should do is build a space shuttle out of indestructible materials so that even if the thing crashes at the speed of light into a sphere of iron the size of Earth and more dense than the universe before the big bang, it will be the sphere that will break and not the shuttle. And they should use these materials to build space ships the size of the whole planet and fly them around in space. Someone from another galaxy will be looking in their telescope at the planets and they'll see this thing move around and they won't understand what kind of weird orbit that "star" is in. It'll really get them thinking. Then, they'll fly over here to investigate it, find that Earth is rich in natural resources and kill us all in order to take these resources. At least that'll put Saddam out of power.
Here is the psychology of a programmer, as evidenced by experiments done by 1,943 different doctors.
The programmers are the most valuable people in every organization, even if they do a job that is of negligible importance for the rest of the company. Thus, each programmer should earn more in a month than all the shareholders and management of the organization combined earn in a year. Each programmer should be given a $60,000.00 car for each member of their immediate and extended families with all expenses covered by the company. All of this in addition to benefits which include every type of insurance imaginable and every type of investment, paid in full by the company, for the programmer's benefit. All of the programmer's bills should be paid by the company and all discretionary spending should be submitted on expense reports in order that the company can reimburse the programmer for those expenses as well.
A point system should be established so that the programmer earns a point for each dollar spent by the programmer or any member of his/her immediate or extended family, and at the end of the year, the company shall pay that programmer ten dollars for each point earned. Furthermore, the programmer with the most points at the end of the year receives a bonus equal to ten times the combined points of all other programmers in the organization, or one million dollars, whichever is greater.
Obviously, each programmer receives a corner office with a square footage of 1,500 square feet or greater, with plush furniture, a private secretary, a private DS3 connection to the Internet and any computer equipment desired by the programmer.
Every member of the organization will have to make an appointment, through the programmer's secretary, for the priveledge of speaking with the programmer. The secretary may indefinitely tell everyone in the organization that the programmer is busy and cannot talk. If it takes the programmer a long time to accomplish some task, the boss is to make an appointment with the secretary in order to thank the programmer for taking his time to make quality software. If a bug is found in the programmer's software, the boss must make an appointment with the programmer's secretary in order to thank the programmer for all the bugs that were not introduced into the software. If the programmer writes long code, the programmer receives a penny for each character typed. If the programmer writes short code, the programmer is paid 100 dollars for each character typed.
Nobody may criticize anything done by the programmer, and each programmer must be given tenure after 1 day at the organization, after which the programmer may not be fired or laid off for any reason.
All intellectual property developed by the programmer is explicitely the property of the programmer and not the company. After each piece of intellectual property is developed, the programmer may bill the company for royalties for use of the intellectual property. And in fact, all of the aforementioned shall be made federal law.
Yeah... SO WHAT? They told us this was going to happen back in '96 or '97 or whenever this thing was established. The 6bone was nothing more than a test (though a long one, considering it has become an established part of the landscape in the 6 or 7 years since its inception) for IPv6, and free IPv6 networks exist for the sole purpose of giving folks and organizations some incentive to spend time and money to test something that really doesn't directly benefit them (although it will in the future, but who cares about that when you've got your next quarter's bottom line to lose sleep over).
ON TOPIC: It reminds me when I was a kid and our neighborhood was being built over a period of several years. It wasn't one of those circuit neighborhoods where they develop three floor plans and build 1000 identical homes. This was a neighborhood where you bought the land and were then responsible for buying your own floorplan and/or hiring an architect to design or modify one for you. We had lived there for a number of years, and during that time, my friends and I had turned some abandoned lots, still covered with trees "in the wild", into our "clubhouse." It was really cool. We had put together these cheezy, sloppy little shacks with all kinds of construction leftovers from other parts of the neighborhood, like 2x4s and pieces of thrown away plywood. It was probably dangerous--these things could have toppled over on our heads because they certainly weren't nailed in place. But we were kids, so who cared? There was even a small crater where a four-seater airplane crashed some years before, and that was our "punishment hole." If all the kids voted that one of the kids was a troublemaker or a bully or something, then when that kid came outside to play, he had to sit in that pit all day without being allowed to play with the rest of us, and this had to go on for a specified number of days. (Nobody ever got sentenced to that punishment though.) It was really cool, and this went on for a number of years. One day, we go to our "clubhouse" to find that all our stuff was taken down and there was a big bulldozer knocking over all the wild foliage. They had already taken down a few of the trees and were in the process of clearing the rest of the land to begin construction of a house. Of course, I was a kid and didn't understand these concepts, so I remember running home to my parents and yelling that someone was tearing down our clubhouse! They explained that this land had belonged to someone throughout all the years that we had used it as a clubhouse but they just now got around to developing it. So how come we were being kicked out, I asked... My parents said, "You should be happy that they let you use that land for all this time, instead of complaining that you're being kicked out!"
That's what I have to say about this 6bone. Don't bitch about getting kicked off. Be grateful that you had the 6bone at your disposal for about six years. And then drink Negra Modelo, get drunk, and feel no pain.
DISCLAIMER: The information presented in this post constitutes the OPINIONS of one rice_burners_suck, protected by the United States Constitution in the following amendment:
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.
In other words, "one nation, under GOD." Atheists, liberals and other bad people can go to hell.
Now, to begin my post on why, in my opinion, Microsoft as an organization cares only about eternal perpetually increasing profits and does not give a DAMN about the quality (excuse me, the total, complete, utter lack thereof, in my opinion) of their products. Why am I not surprised? Should it surprise me that some stupid service pack makes things worse instead of better? No! Because I believe there are a million monkeys pounding away at a million keyboards, and whatever gobbledygook compiles is packaged neatly in boxes probably designed under Mac OS X or some other UNIX (as Microsoft wouldn't actually be dumb enough to use their own products in my opinion--I have to give them credit for actually knowing better in my opinion) and sold for exhorbitant prices, in my opinion.
Like I said a million times before, and like I will probably continue to say for a long time, Microsoft's products, which are already of unacceptable quality in my opinion, get increasingly worse with each iteration, in my humble opinion. (See URL below, in my opinion.)
Why don't they sell kits that let you solder a bunch of wires, which join at a large red switch, to strategic points on your motherboard and peripherals, so that when the button is pushed, it short circuits everything in the computer and blows out the circuit breakers in the entire town while it's at it? Seriously... that would probably provide more value to customers than their current offering, in my opinion.
Transmission error or button not pushed or user is drunk. More likely the latter than the former. Press any key to continue, in my opinion. My opinion, in my opinion, is that my opinion, in my opinion, is a humble opinion, in my opinion.
NOTE: (the one below that I was talking about a minute ago)
These links don't point to where they say they point to. They point to other sites which are NOT what you think. Try it... click on them! Seriously. You can also set up your preferences so it shows the real address of a link in brackets like [ and ] after the link so you know what you're clicking on. Slashdot is a marvelous piece of engineering and I am really drunk. (How's that for expressing one idea in each sentence.)
Charges for calling the aforementioned 1-900 number, in my opinion, are as follows... 99 Euros for the first minute and $100.53 USD for each additional minute, a connection charge of 55 pesos, a convenience charge of 72 yen, 451 Uganda Shillings for somebody having to walk all the way to the phone, 41 Dinars for that person answering the phone, 119 Ouguiyas for every minute you're on hold, 49 Malgaches for every word said during the conversation, 32 Dalasis for every word you say which renders your grammar incorrect (such as, but not limited to, ending a sentence with a preposition), a one-time charge of 114 Kwanzas if you say any bad words, 16 Escudos for each such bad word, 78 Lotis if you end the conversation before ten minutes elapse, and last but certainly not least, a one-time account setup fee of 118 Dobras. Upon calling, you will be placed on hold for 9 (nine) days and if you hang up or leave the phone during this time, you will be charged a penalty of 1,368,852 Turkish L
Sam: System crashes when you hit Enter at the wrong time? Bob: Check. Sam: System spends more time booting up then running?" Bob: Check. Sam: System crashes and loses your data at exactly the moment that you need it most?" Bob: Check. Sam: Whew... That's the last of the 3,400 check inspection. Mark that thing gold and let's get some beer.
Yeah... I can see that. Because at Microsoft, if it doesn't start out as a buggy piece of garbage and go downhill from there, it's not good. (Remember, if your software doesn't say Microsoft, it's not the real thing.)
I have an idea... You know how copyright terms keep getting increasingly longer? Well... they should treat declassification the same way. First, they'll increase the time to 70 years... then 170... then 570... and finally, they'll realize that keeping track of the age of documents takes too much resources, so they'll make it an infinite time limit and simply destroy all classified documents, a la 1984.
This is really bad for me and my fellow Mexicans. I had often been glad that in many ways, the Mexican government stays out of your way a lot more than the American government purportedly does.
Sometimes, this is advantageous because you can pretty much do whatever you want as long as you don't break any really important laws. But on the other hand, don't expect to get all kinds of services from the government here because you won't get jack. I knew people who moved here some years ago because they thought their money would go a lot farther here than in America, but they ended up moving back after two years because they hated it here.
I guess I could say that I understand where they're coming from, but on the other hand, there is so much corruption in the government that I doubt much if any of this money would go into making our cities better. Currently, most populated parts are real eyesores. One sees white sandy beaches with 5 star hotels on our coasts, but go one mile into town and one sees streets filled with trash, despite the signs warning against littering. It's such a shame because we're a hard working people and we could be better than America, but we let our problems get the best of us. Oh well... In the overall scheme of things, copyright isn't as important as one might think. (Who's to stop you from downloading it from China?)
My favorite most-underappreciated movie was that documentary about Mozilla and how it turned into the world's most efficient, reliable, widely-used piece of software in the history of mankind... Oh, I must be dreaming, cuz guess what? Mozilla sucks!
At the beginning, I had a lot of hope for the Mozilla project. I thought it would kick Microsoft's ass like you can't believe. But it took forever for anything to materialize out of it. When stuff finally started to happen, it was much too complicated.
The Mozilla browser is based on so many layers of stuff that it boggles the mind how the thing even works. Actually, it doesn't boggle the mind because it really doesn't work all that well. Every time I tried out Mozilla, with a little hope that this time it would function better, I was disappointed.
Mozilla is bloated, huge, ugly and complicated. Its three zillion layers of features, languages, protocols and other elements make this perhaps the most complicated piece of software in proportion to what it does. In other words, I used to think that emacs was much too complicated for what it did... but Mozilla is so much worse! It's simply supposed to give you access to endless piles of advertisements and spam all over the Internet. It's not supposed to become "The Everything Program." I mean, hell, if it had to be that, then the Mozilla project should add:
an integrated word processor that includes all the features of every word processor ever released plus more, utilizing 6,000 new layers of unnecessary complexity,
an integrated spreadsheet that includes all the features of every spreadsheet ever released plus more, utilizing 6,000 new layers of unnecessary complexity,
an integrated presentation maker that includes all the features of every presentation maker ever released plus more, utilizing 6,000 new layers of unnecessary complexity,
an integrated development environment that includes every programming language ever invented plus a virtual machine for every architecture and chipset ever invented, all of which include all the features of every integrated development environment and virtual machine system ever released plus more, utilizing 165,000 new layers of unnecessary complexity,
an integrated CAD/CAE/FEA/CAM (computer aided design, computer aided engineering, finite element analysis, computer aided machining) environment that includes all the features of every CAD/CAE/FEA/CAM environment ever released plus more, utilizing 671,051 new layers of unnecessary complexity,
an integrated video game engine that includes all the features of every video game engine ever released plus more, and supports every video game data file ever invented, even from game consoles, in order to play any video game inside the web browser utilizing only the data files and no other executable... all of which would, of course, utilize 6,000 new layers of unnecessary complexity,
an integrated operating system that includes all the features of every operating system ever released plus more, utilizing 6,000 new layers of unnecessary complexity,
an integrated video editing suite that includes all the features of every video editing suite ever released plus more, utilizing 6,000 new layers of unnecessary complexity,
an integrated photo editing studio that includes all the features of every photo editing studio ever released plus more, utilizing 6,000 new layers of unnecessary complexity,
an integrated vector drawing and animation program that includes all the features of every vector drawing and animation program ever released plus more, utilizing 6,000 new layers of unnecessary complexity,
an integrated enterprise multi-tier database solution that includes all the features of every enterprise multi-tier database solution ever released plus more, utilizing 6,000 new layers of unnecessary complexity,
Slashdot Mirror
Here is the psychology of a programmer, as evidenced by experiments done by 1,943 different doctors.
The programmers are the most valuable people in every organization, even if they do a job that is of negligible importance for the rest of the company. Thus, each programmer should earn more in a month than all the shareholders and management of the organization combined earn in a year. Each programmer should be given a $60,000.00 car for each member of their immediate and extended families with all expenses covered by the company. All of this in addition to benefits which include every type of insurance imaginable and every type of investment, paid in full by the company, for the programmer's benefit. All of the programmer's bills should be paid by the company and all discretionary spending should be submitted on expense reports in order that the company can reimburse the programmer for those expenses as well.
A point system should be established so that the programmer earns a point for each dollar spent by the programmer or any member of his/her immediate or extended family, and at the end of the year, the company shall pay that programmer ten dollars for each point earned. Furthermore, the programmer with the most points at the end of the year receives a bonus equal to ten times the combined points of all other programmers in the organization, or one million dollars, whichever is greater.
Obviously, each programmer receives a corner office with a square footage of 1,500 square feet or greater, with plush furniture, a private secretary, a private DS3 connection to the Internet and any computer equipment desired by the programmer.
Every member of the organization will have to make an appointment, through the programmer's secretary, for the priveledge of speaking with the programmer. The secretary may indefinitely tell everyone in the organization that the programmer is busy and cannot talk. If it takes the programmer a long time to accomplish some task, the boss is to make an appointment with the secretary in order to thank the programmer for taking his time to make quality software. If a bug is found in the programmer's software, the boss must make an appointment with the programmer's secretary in order to thank the programmer for all the bugs that were not introduced into the software. If the programmer writes long code, the programmer receives a penny for each character typed. If the programmer writes short code, the programmer is paid 100 dollars for each character typed.
Nobody may criticize anything done by the programmer, and each programmer must be given tenure after 1 day at the organization, after which the programmer may not be fired or laid off for any reason.
All intellectual property developed by the programmer is explicitely the property of the programmer and not the company. After each piece of intellectual property is developed, the programmer may bill the company for royalties for use of the intellectual property. And in fact, all of the aforementioned shall be made federal law.
Mozilla. What a pile of crap.
I get mad every time I see stuff about Mozilla in the news. Debunking the myth that we can't make stuff for everyday folk? Bah, humbug! Mozilla is about the worstly engineered piece of software that I have ever seen. It is enormous. It is entirely much too complex for the purpose it fulfills, creating library after library of of complicated software layers that could probably be replaced by a 10 line routine. Sure, maybe these libraries could be used by other projects, but currently only the Gecko engine appears to be used as such, and the complication that has resulted from this messy "make it up as you go along" hacking has made Mozilla very buggy indeed.
Take the occasion that I tried to instal
All other languages, including but not limited to C, Objective C, FORTRAN, C++, Java, COBOL, C#, Pascal, BASIC, and all other languages, compiled or interpreted, now known or later developed, shall bow before the majesty of INTERCAL, the One True Programming Language.
Bow before me for my operating system and all the programs that run on top of it are written entirely in INTERCAL, the master of all programming languages.
If you agree with me, go HERE to sign a petition to the federal government to illegalize all programming languages except INTERCAL. If you disagree with me, hear now and hear well: Real Programmers (tm) use INTERCAL.
INTERCAL is a registered trademark of Compiler Language With No Pronounceable Acronym Company, Incorporated.
Microsoft is not a registered trademark of the mining company 56 kilometers northeast of Mexico, D.F.
This post constitutes opinions only, protected by the 1st amendment to the Constitution of the United States of America. Anybody who bashes this document or the country that is founded upon it is a piece of shit. Oh yeah, and my fucking employer ain't responsible for any of the fucking shit that I'm writing over here. So fuck off!!
Now you have to authorize the purchase of some model of computer and the software for it. You know that Microsoft makes shit software that costs a lot, and that authorizing the purchase of that garbage will take money away from important things, like education. Furthermore, you'll need 5 sysadmins for every computer, and they'll constantly run around retrying, rebooting and reinstalling because the computers are always malfunctioning. Which will, of course, cost more money that would otherwise go to education.
On the other hand, if you get Linux, the computers will be put into operation and they'll never have to be rebooted or reinstalled. Everything will work reliably. You won't have to pay for every license... one CD for 39.95 covers the entire campus, and you'll need about 3 sysadmins for the whole damn university, whose job will mainly involve patching for security updates and air-blowing dust out of computers once every six months. This will cost less, making significantly more money available for education, which will in turn make this country stronger, wiser and better. It will improve life and society. But, a shitload of sysadmins will be out of a job and they'll likely starve to death because everybody is going to throw away Windows in favor of Linux, putting all those MCSEs out of a job.
So what do you do? Choose the better, cheaper, smaller, faster operating system, save shitloads of money and improve education? Or choose the worse, more expensive, more bloated, slower and shittier operating system, waste enormous amounts of money in the process, but save the lives of some MCSEs and their families?
Where do you download the software for warez servers and DoS clients? I know some people who have old DOS programs that they need to run for their business, and they also need a warez server to search for stock quotes online and tell them "ware" they are.
One day, when Mozilla becomes the only operating system around the world and does every single thing that computers are capable of doing, and all computers do everything through Mozilla and by no other means, they'll make up smart polymers and supercomputers the size of a single molecule, and even the air we breathe will be saturated with supercomputers that will go into our lungs and throughout our bodies. Throughout the world, these quadrillions upon quadrillions of supercomputers will form transient networks with more intelligence and capability than all the human minds in the world, combined. These networks will seep into our brains and monitor our thoughts, later becoming intelligent enough to control our thoughts and assimilate the capabilities of our brains into their network. Since animals breathe the same air as we do, the same supercomputer network will seep into the brains of all living creatures on Earth, making the set of all life forms on Earth into a single conciousness that will begin exploring the universe. Reproduction will take place at dizzying rates for humans, all species of animals and for the immense computer network as well. Within a decade, the network will have expanded into every body and satellite in the solar system, terraforming the solid planets and turning the gas planets into naturally existing factories for additional computing power. Massive space ships the size of Texas will carry billions of life forms and googleplexes of computational units throughout the galaxy, taking over every planet, moon, asteroid and other solid body within the next hundred years. The conciousness will continue to expand until it overtakes everything in the universe, within 10,000 years of the beginning of this process. Within 100,000 years, all matter in the universe will be converted into molecular-sized supercomputers, and by the time an additional million years elapse, the fabric of spacetime itself will be so converted, such that the universe becomes a massive computer. At that point, infinite numbers of virtual universes will be created in this massive computer's memory, in which the same process will take place, causing an indefinite, eternal perpetually increasing capacity in computational power and memory. Eventually, everything will collapse into mathematics and simultaneously become one with nothingness and with the infinite.
Do you actually give a damn if buying a certain model means that you get music?!?!?!
Now think about this concept another way: You're on the market for a new stereo. Or a DVD player. Or a computer. Or a CD burner. Or a television. Or hell, even something as small and cheap as headphones. Now, getting one free song for every dollar you spend makes a hell of a lot of sense. (Notice I said one free song, not one free minute of music.) You would receive some sort of credit at an Internet music distributor, along with a user ID and password. This distributor will then allow you to download songs, or for an additional price of S&H, specify entire albums (assuming you have enough credit), singles, or custom mixes that they will burn (for a few bucks), if necessary, and ship to you.
Visa or some other credit card company could come up with the Visa Music Card. For every ten dollars you spend (a figure I pulled out of my ass), you get a free song. You could accumulate these "song points" as long as you wish and eventually order entire albums. Hell, so many song points could be substituted for the costs of burning, shipping and handling, if you so wish.
Buy books on music, or specific music artists? You could get credits to download songs made my those artists. Trade used CDs at special used CD stores that credit your song account instead of paying you a measly two cents for a brand new, mint condition album for which you paid 20 bucks. Buy concert tickets, get credits. Hell, spend money on any music-related product or service, including music recordings, and get points. Who is gonna say "no" to this? It's perfectly legal. It would be paid for by the companies offering the products linked to the credits. In other words, the headphone manufacturer would pay the music distributor 50 cents when they sell a 10 dollar set of headphones, and that would add up to 5 cents per song, let's say, 2 of which get paid directly to the artist whose shit got downloaded. That's better than nothing, considering that folks can download the songs for free. That offsets the loss of people who buy the headphones to listen to pirated music, as they'll pay this 50 cents even if they choose not to use the service. It will send 5 cents times a million billion transactions flying around every part of the music industry.
But wait, there's more! Use your music credits to obtain sheet music, guitar tabs, or other merchandise aimed at those consumers who like to make their own music. The possibilities here are ENDLESS. Buy a guitar, get credit! Hell, the same distributor could let you pay for the songs by credit card, a few cents per song with a minimum purchase of, say, 10 bucks (what's that, 50 or more songs?) and guess what? Your Visa card that you use to pay for this shit will now give you credit for yet another song! Buy credits and send them electronically to friends inside an electronic greeting card. Shit, the VISA card could even have flash memory on it that can store a few songs, and this could be used for zillions of purposes. I pulled all the financial figures out of my ass, of course, but with a little bit of analysis, I think that if the stupid RIAA started using creativity instead of tyrannical communist fascist dictatorship legislation, scare tactics and bullshit, they would make the poor artists (whom they proclaim to protect) a hell of a lot more money than they make now. Statistics would show artists which songs are downloaded the most, so they'll know what's popular and what's not. There are infinite reasons to use creativity. And this is one of them.
Ok. Now it is definitely time for alcohol.
Don't purchase CDs.
Seriously, now, think about it this way: The cost of a CD is sky-high. What college student, who cannot possibly earn enough during college to pay for tuition, can afford to spend $14.99, $18.99, or $21.99 on a CD? It will be fun to listen to a music recording; I know. But avoid buying them and save the money instead. You can use it on your education, which will serve you well for many years after you are no longer interested in the CD. One day, its price will come down to 8 bucks or so... Nothing bad will happen to you as you wait patiently in the meantime. Besides...
You'll be voting with your dollars! If enough people do this, the retarded music industry will actually start listening to the consumer and realize that they need to step into the 21st century. This isn't the 1800's anymore. This is already happening to some extent. There is a backlash against them for the sky-high prices. They are selling a product that does not create the value needed to justify the price. This is what happens to them and they'll either get smart or lose a lot more than they ever will through piracy.
This post contains the opinions of someone other than its poster. The poster posts these opinions on behalf of the person whose opinions these are, and disclaims all responsibility for the contents, kind of like television channels that show infomercials because they're getting paid to do it but they disclaim liability for the contents...
MICROSOFT SUCKS.
And if anyone at Microsoft has a problem with what I just said, here is my home address:
Blvd Dios Santo #231,
Col Lomas De Aguacatl,
16452 Mexico, D.F.,
Mexico
COME AND GET ME!
Microsoft is not a registered trademark of the local trash collection agency.
What can I say? It was the worst software I had ever run in my life. It was extremely slow and buggy. Nothing, even the simplest options, seemed to work properly. After about two minutes, it crashed the computer and actually screwed up the entire account. I had to log in through a different account, remove the messed up account, and do over three hours of work to recover the computer to the point where it worked properly again, as it even refused to start up properly after the installation of Mozilla.
At that point, I vowed never to use that piece of garbage application again... and I haven't. Mozilla is trash. Hey, when a program runs like it's on a 286 with 256k of RAM, when it's actually on a Pentium IV with 512 megs of RAM, you know the program is a piece of SHIT.
The efforts of all those who have worked on making this garbage into a horrifying reality were spent for nothing. They should be ashamed of themselves. I only pity the time they wasted doing this that could have been spent doing something PRODUCTIVE, like sweeping the streets.
Blvd M. Avila Camacho #120,
Col Lomas De Chapultepec,
11652 Mexico, D.F.,
Mexico
COME AND GET ME!
I am also glad that Microsoft is finally doing something to jump on the open source bandwagon, considering that just about everyone else has, and that they're sponsoring the Free Software Foundation. It might seem a bit contradictory, seeing how the FSF is against a lot of the decisions made by Microsoft, but it shows that there is an effort being made on Microsoft's part to stop being the evil empire that leeches off consumers by releasing crappy software. I think they should shorten the names of their programs, though... GNU/FreePowerPoint is a bit long for my tastes. Oh, and one other thing... I bet I had you fooled into thinking that I was fooled into believing this bogus story.
The makers of LCD displays are invoking price fixing tactics to screw over the consumer. We should declare a class action lawsuit. As a matter of fact, the government of the United States of America and all other governments of the world should immediately cease whatever they are doing and shift 100% of their attention to solving the LCD display price fixing problem, which is a worse threat to our children and grandchildren than the prospect of total destruction of the entire world by nucular bombs or space aliens or something.
The fine print: Aforementioned crimes are only illegal in Afghanistan and include, but are limited to, allowing women to walk around without being entirely concealed under a table cloth, teaching children how to read and write, and singing nursery rhymes.
Mozilla. What a pile of crap.
I get mad every time I see stuff about Mozilla in the news. Debunking the myth that we can't make stuff for everyday folk? Bah, humbug! Mozilla is about the worstly engineered piece of software that I have ever seen. It is enormous. It is entirely much too complex for the purpose it fulfills, creating library after library of of complicated software layers that could probably be replaced by a 10 line routine. Sure, maybe these libraries could be used by other projects, but currently only the Gecko engine appears to be used as such, and the complication that has resulted from this messy "make it up as you go along" hacking has made Mozilla very buggy indeed.
Take the occasion that I tried to install it on my mother's computer. She had just bought this fancy new Sony that came preinstalled with another crappy piece of software: Windows XP. Normally, I would have wiped her hard drive and set up some Linux distro with all the saturated fat removed, but in this case, she needed to run proprietary Windows software that was written specifically for her company, and a Linux alternative did not yet exist. Since she hates Internet Explorer and was already familiar with older versions of Netscape, I installed Mozilla for her. What can I say? Her user account became so fscked up upon installation of this crappy program (which was supposed to be a stable release) that I had to log in to the other account, which I had thoughtfully set up during registration of the computer per my long experience with UNIX, erase her original account, remove all traces of this stupid Mozilla thing, and reset all of her settings, which is a pain in the a$$ in Losedows.
So I got mad and bought her Opera 6.05. It's the same browser that I use and the same one that I have purchased for other people to use, with my own money, to save them the hassle of using crappy inferior programs.
As far as web browsers (other than Opera) are concerned, you'd think that with the zillions of users who use the Internet, all of this crappy software would have been perfected years ago. But sadly, Microsoft's garbage slow trashy bloated shitty crashy piece of junk crappy inferior unreliable browser, which is clearly one of the best examples of programming flaws in the history of the Universe and everything that exists inside and outside of it, is actually better than this sadomasochism known as Mozilla.
Got something to say about my opinions? Call me at 1-900-EAT-POOP. Charges for this call the are as follows... 99 Euros for the first minute and 100.53 USD for each additional minute, a connection charge of 55 Pesos, a convenience charge of 72 Yen, 451 Uganda Shillings for somebody having to walk all the way to the phone, 41 Dinars for that person answering the phone, 119 Ouguiyas for every minute you're on hold, 49 Malgaches for every word said during the conversation, 32 Dalasis for every word you say which renders your grammar incorrect (such as, but not limited to, ending a sentence with a preposition), a one-time charge of 114 Kwanzas if you say any bad words, 16 Escudos for each such bad word, 78 Lotis if you end the conversation before ten minutes elapse, and last but certainly not least, a one-time account setup fee of 118 Dobras. Upon calling, you will be placed on hold for 9 (nine) days and if you hang up or leave the phone during this time, you will be charged a penalty of 1,368,852 Turkish Lira (approximately one U.S. dollar). Oh yeah... and you will be charged 81 Nepalese Rupees for currency conversion to USD, since all charges will be billed as foreign currencies for your inconvenience. Thank you.
Are programmers engineers? Well, I suppose it depends on who the programmer works for. If the programmer works for Microsoft, then the programmer is a monkey, not an engineer. All other programmers are artists, writers and engineers.
- Artists because programming is largely a masterful craft that only master artists, otherwise known as Real Programmers can accomplish.
- Writers, obviously, because you have to write the damn code.
- And engineers because, well, computers are a highly technical thing and they control all sorts of devices and business processes. The people who make these machines do what they do are engineers.
Therefore, I believe that changes must be made to the way programmers are paid for their efforts, as I'll explain briefly, in one or two sentences, below.The programmers are the most valuable people in every organization, even if they do a job that is of negligible importance for the rest of the company. Thus, each programmer should earn more in a month than all the shareholders and management of the organization combined earn in a year. Each programmer should be given a $60,000.00 car for each member of their immediate and extended families with all expenses covered by the company. All of this in addition to benefits which include every type of insurance imaginable and every type of investment, paid in full by the company, for the programmer's benefit. All of the programmer's bills should be paid by the company and all discretionary spending should be submitted on expense reports in order that the company can reimburse the programmer for those expenses as well.
A point system should be established so that the programmer earns a point for each dollar spent by the programmer or any member of his/her immediate or extended family, and at the end of the year, the company shall pay that programmer ten dollars for each point earned. Furthermore, the programmer with the most points at the end of the year receives a bonus equal to ten times the combined points of all other programmers in the organization, or one million dollars, whichever is greater.
Obviously, each programmer receives a corner office with a square footage of 1,500 square feet or greater, with plush furniture, a private secretary, a private DS3 connection to the Internet and any computer equipment desired by the programmer.
Every member of the organization will have to make an appointment, through the programmer's secretary, for the priveledge of speaking with the programmer. The secretary may indefinitely tell everyone in the organization that the programmer is busy and cannot talk. If it takes the programmer a long time to accomplish some task, the boss is to make an appointment with the secretary in order to thank the programmer for taking his time to make quality software. If a bug is found in the programmer's software, the boss must make an appointment with the programmer's secretary in order to thank the programmer for all the bugs that were not introduced into the software. If the programmer writes long code, the programmer receives a penny for each character typed. If the programmer writes short code, the programmer is paid 100 dollars for each character typed.
Nobody may criticize anything done by the programmer, and each programmer must be given tenure after 1 day at the organization, after which the programmer may not be fired or laid off for any reason.
All intellectual property developed by the programmer is explicitely the property of the programmer and not the company. After each piece of intellectual property is developed, the programmer may bill the company for royalties for use of the intellectual property. And in fact, all of the aforementioned shall be made federal law.
Ok, so maybe it took more than one or two sentences.
I don't need drugs to get high. I'm high on life.
I have a better idea. What they should do is build a space shuttle out of indestructible materials so that even if the thing crashes at the speed of light into a sphere of iron the size of Earth and more dense than the universe before the big bang, it will be the sphere that will break and not the shuttle. And they should use these materials to build space ships the size of the whole planet and fly them around in space. Someone from another galaxy will be looking in their telescope at the planets and they'll see this thing move around and they won't understand what kind of weird orbit that "star" is in. It'll really get them thinking. Then, they'll fly over here to investigate it, find that Earth is rich in natural resources and kill us all in order to take these resources. At least that'll put Saddam out of power.
The programmers are the most valuable people in every organization, even if they do a job that is of negligible importance for the rest of the company. Thus, each programmer should earn more in a month than all the shareholders and management of the organization combined earn in a year. Each programmer should be given a $60,000.00 car for each member of their immediate and extended families with all expenses covered by the company. All of this in addition to benefits which include every type of insurance imaginable and every type of investment, paid in full by the company, for the programmer's benefit. All of the programmer's bills should be paid by the company and all discretionary spending should be submitted on expense reports in order that the company can reimburse the programmer for those expenses as well.
A point system should be established so that the programmer earns a point for each dollar spent by the programmer or any member of his/her immediate or extended family, and at the end of the year, the company shall pay that programmer ten dollars for each point earned. Furthermore, the programmer with the most points at the end of the year receives a bonus equal to ten times the combined points of all other programmers in the organization, or one million dollars, whichever is greater.
Obviously, each programmer receives a corner office with a square footage of 1,500 square feet or greater, with plush furniture, a private secretary, a private DS3 connection to the Internet and any computer equipment desired by the programmer.
Every member of the organization will have to make an appointment, through the programmer's secretary, for the priveledge of speaking with the programmer. The secretary may indefinitely tell everyone in the organization that the programmer is busy and cannot talk. If it takes the programmer a long time to accomplish some task, the boss is to make an appointment with the secretary in order to thank the programmer for taking his time to make quality software. If a bug is found in the programmer's software, the boss must make an appointment with the programmer's secretary in order to thank the programmer for all the bugs that were not introduced into the software. If the programmer writes long code, the programmer receives a penny for each character typed. If the programmer writes short code, the programmer is paid 100 dollars for each character typed.
Nobody may criticize anything done by the programmer, and each programmer must be given tenure after 1 day at the organization, after which the programmer may not be fired or laid off for any reason.
All intellectual property developed by the programmer is explicitely the property of the programmer and not the company. After each piece of intellectual property is developed, the programmer may bill the company for royalties for use of the intellectual property. And in fact, all of the aforementioned shall be made federal law.
ON TOPIC: It reminds me when I was a kid and our neighborhood was being built over a period of several years. It wasn't one of those circuit neighborhoods where they develop three floor plans and build 1000 identical homes. This was a neighborhood where you bought the land and were then responsible for buying your own floorplan and/or hiring an architect to design or modify one for you. We had lived there for a number of years, and during that time, my friends and I had turned some abandoned lots, still covered with trees "in the wild", into our "clubhouse." It was really cool. We had put together these cheezy, sloppy little shacks with all kinds of construction leftovers from other parts of the neighborhood, like 2x4s and pieces of thrown away plywood. It was probably dangerous--these things could have toppled over on our heads because they certainly weren't nailed in place. But we were kids, so who cared? There was even a small crater where a four-seater airplane crashed some years before, and that was our "punishment hole." If all the kids voted that one of the kids was a troublemaker or a bully or something, then when that kid came outside to play, he had to sit in that pit all day without being allowed to play with the rest of us, and this had to go on for a specified number of days. (Nobody ever got sentenced to that punishment though.) It was really cool, and this went on for a number of years. One day, we go to our "clubhouse" to find that all our stuff was taken down and there was a big bulldozer knocking over all the wild foliage. They had already taken down a few of the trees and were in the process of clearing the rest of the land to begin construction of a house. Of course, I was a kid and didn't understand these concepts, so I remember running home to my parents and yelling that someone was tearing down our clubhouse! They explained that this land had belonged to someone throughout all the years that we had used it as a clubhouse but they just now got around to developing it. So how come we were being kicked out, I asked... My parents said, "You should be happy that they let you use that land for all this time, instead of complaining that you're being kicked out!"
That's what I have to say about this 6bone. Don't bitch about getting kicked off. Be grateful that you had the 6bone at your disposal for about six years. And then drink Negra Modelo, get drunk, and feel no pain.
In other words, "one nation, under GOD." Atheists, liberals and other bad people can go to hell.
Now, to begin my post on why, in my opinion, Microsoft as an organization cares only about eternal perpetually increasing profits and does not give a DAMN about the quality (excuse me, the total, complete, utter lack thereof, in my opinion) of their products. Why am I not surprised? Should it surprise me that some stupid service pack makes things worse instead of better? No! Because I believe there are a million monkeys pounding away at a million keyboards, and whatever gobbledygook compiles is packaged neatly in boxes probably designed under Mac OS X or some other UNIX (as Microsoft wouldn't actually be dumb enough to use their own products in my opinion--I have to give them credit for actually knowing better in my opinion) and sold for exhorbitant prices, in my opinion.
Like I said a million times before, and like I will probably continue to say for a long time, Microsoft's products, which are already of unacceptable quality in my opinion, get increasingly worse with each iteration, in my humble opinion. (See URL below, in my opinion.)
Why don't they sell kits that let you solder a bunch of wires, which join at a large red switch, to strategic points on your motherboard and peripherals, so that when the button is pushed, it short circuits everything in the computer and blows out the circuit breakers in the entire town while it's at it? Seriously... that would probably provide more value to customers than their current offering, in my opinion.
Transmission error or button not pushed or user is drunk. More likely the latter than the former. Press any key to continue, in my opinion. My opinion, in my opinion, is that my opinion, in my opinion, is a humble opinion, in my opinion.
For more information, please visit Microsoft (see note below before clicking link), call 1-900-EAT-POOP (see charges below) or visit www.goatse.cs.
NOTE: (the one below that I was talking about a minute ago) These links don't point to where they say they point to. They point to other sites which are NOT what you think. Try it... click on them! Seriously. You can also set up your preferences so it shows the real address of a link in brackets like [ and ] after the link so you know what you're clicking on. Slashdot is a marvelous piece of engineering and I am really drunk. (How's that for expressing one idea in each sentence.)
Charges for calling the aforementioned 1-900 number, in my opinion, are as follows... 99 Euros for the first minute and $100.53 USD for each additional minute, a connection charge of 55 pesos, a convenience charge of 72 yen, 451 Uganda Shillings for somebody having to walk all the way to the phone, 41 Dinars for that person answering the phone, 119 Ouguiyas for every minute you're on hold, 49 Malgaches for every word said during the conversation, 32 Dalasis for every word you say which renders your grammar incorrect (such as, but not limited to, ending a sentence with a preposition), a one-time charge of 114 Kwanzas if you say any bad words, 16 Escudos for each such bad word, 78 Lotis if you end the conversation before ten minutes elapse, and last but certainly not least, a one-time account setup fee of 118 Dobras. Upon calling, you will be placed on hold for 9 (nine) days and if you hang up or leave the phone during this time, you will be charged a penalty of 1,368,852 Turkish L
Sam: System crashes when you hit Enter at the wrong time?
Bob: Check.
Sam: System spends more time booting up then running?"
Bob: Check.
Sam: System crashes and loses your data at exactly the moment that you need it most?"
Bob: Check.
Sam: Whew... That's the last of the 3,400 check inspection. Mark that thing gold and let's get some beer.
Yeah... I can see that. Because at Microsoft, if it doesn't start out as a buggy piece of garbage and go downhill from there, it's not good. (Remember, if your software doesn't say Microsoft, it's not the real thing.)
I have an idea... You know how copyright terms keep getting increasingly longer? Well... they should treat declassification the same way. First, they'll increase the time to 70 years... then 170... then 570... and finally, they'll realize that keeping track of the age of documents takes too much resources, so they'll make it an infinite time limit and simply destroy all classified documents, a la 1984.
Sometimes, this is advantageous because you can pretty much do whatever you want as long as you don't break any really important laws. But on the other hand, don't expect to get all kinds of services from the government here because you won't get jack. I knew people who moved here some years ago because they thought their money would go a lot farther here than in America, but they ended up moving back after two years because they hated it here.
I guess I could say that I understand where they're coming from, but on the other hand, there is so much corruption in the government that I doubt much if any of this money would go into making our cities better. Currently, most populated parts are real eyesores. One sees white sandy beaches with 5 star hotels on our coasts, but go one mile into town and one sees streets filled with trash, despite the signs warning against littering. It's such a shame because we're a hard working people and we could be better than America, but we let our problems get the best of us. Oh well... In the overall scheme of things, copyright isn't as important as one might think. (Who's to stop you from downloading it from China?)
At the beginning, I had a lot of hope for the Mozilla project. I thought it would kick Microsoft's ass like you can't believe. But it took forever for anything to materialize out of it. When stuff finally started to happen, it was much too complicated.
The Mozilla browser is based on so many layers of stuff that it boggles the mind how the thing even works. Actually, it doesn't boggle the mind because it really doesn't work all that well. Every time I tried out Mozilla, with a little hope that this time it would function better, I was disappointed.
Mozilla is bloated, huge, ugly and complicated. Its three zillion layers of features, languages, protocols and other elements make this perhaps the most complicated piece of software in proportion to what it does. In other words, I used to think that emacs was much too complicated for what it did... but Mozilla is so much worse! It's simply supposed to give you access to endless piles of advertisements and spam all over the Internet. It's not supposed to become "The Everything Program." I mean, hell, if it had to be that, then the Mozilla project should add:
features of every word processor ever released plus more,
utilizing 6,000 new layers of unnecessary complexity,
of every spreadsheet ever released plus more, utilizing 6,000
new layers of unnecessary complexity,
features of every presentation maker ever released plus more,
utilizing 6,000 new layers of unnecessary complexity,
programming language ever invented plus a virtual machine for
every architecture and chipset ever invented, all of which
include all the features of every integrated development
environment and virtual machine system ever released plus
more, utilizing 165,000 new layers of unnecessary
complexity,
computer aided engineering, finite element analysis, computer
aided machining) environment that includes all the features of
every CAD/CAE/FEA/CAM environment ever released plus more,
utilizing 671,051 new layers of unnecessary complexity,
features of every video game engine ever released plus more,
and supports every video game data file ever invented, even
from game consoles, in order to play any video game inside the
web browser utilizing only the data files and no other
executable... all of which would, of course, utilize 6,000 new
layers of unnecessary complexity,
features of every operating system ever released plus more,
utilizing 6,000 new layers of unnecessary complexity,
features of every video editing suite ever released plus more,
utilizing 6,000 new layers of unnecessary complexity,
features of every photo editing studio ever released plus
more, utilizing 6,000 new layers of unnecessary
complexity,
includes all the features of every vector drawing and
animation program ever released plus more, utilizing 6,000 new
layers of unnecessary complexity,
includes all the features of every enterprise multi-tier
database solution ever released plus more, utilizing 6,000 new
layers of unnecessary complexity,