Slashdot Mirror
Anger as a Software Design Philosophy
Chilliwilli writes "Spending more time cursing your code than writing it? Well now there's an answer. feckfeck (a language in the vein of Whitespace and Brainf*ck) will help you get back that precious time by converting your foul words into code. You've heard the hype surrounding VLIWs, well here are FLIWs (4 letter instruction words). The great thing is the more angry you get the more code you'll write. For those programmers on performance related pay this is great news."
Wasn't this pioneered years ago when the UNIX file system checking command was created?
IBM had PL/1, with syntax worse than JOSS,
And everywhere the language went, it was a total loss...
Yeah well, fuck that!
"It's a tarp!" -- Dyslexic Admiral Ackbar
I'd be angry too if I had to use X-Windows all day ::sigh::
:(
Give me a real gui any day
well, as they say... the one language all programmers know is profanity.
I'm the Devil the Windows users warned you about.
A little bit of thinking when developing the code and you'll never have to curse it. Quantity is not the main thing here, quality is.
Didn't anyone tell michael that april fools is over already? ;)
Business \Busi"ness\, n.;
A scam in which all people involved perceive as beneficial...
Not a programming language, but I've had DOS batchfiles for years (and later exported the routines to sh scripts, yes) that were named after various slurs and curses.
ihateyoupileofjunk.bat would be called within autoexec to set the path, for instance, and protect me from crap programs that insisted on erasing my path settings in favor of their own.
unzip; strip; touch; finger; mount; fsck;
more;yes;fsck;fsck;fsck;umount;sleep
gawk; talk; date; wine; grep; touch; unzip; touch; gasp; finger...
Is the censored version of this the same as whitespace?
If i take an erotic novel in txt format and grep it against a list of f*ckf*ck reserved words and run that as a program?
>
Thats why the file dialogue in gnome sucks so bad.
Turing complete it may be, but why the limitation to 4 letter words and bytes? With 64 bits in the offing, we need a bigger version of this language to cope with the cursing that will surely result. There is no shortage of suitable tokens, after all. BMF, FOAD... if it's true that the needs of pornography drive the internet, it would be nice to have a 64-bit web server whose source code was itself pornographic. I'm releasing the concept under a license which says that all resulting code must be GPLed.
Panurge has posted for the last time. Thanks for the positive moderations.
I would have guessed that FLIW was for Fucking Long Instruction Words...
It's missing s**t?! Isn't that one on the short list of four letter expletives? I mean, they've got "boob", "shag", and "tits"; how could they forget "shit"?
Now I know why software availability is so poor on Mac or Linux, compared to Wintel. Wintel users curse their machines and their software waaaaaaay more often than those Linux or Mac weirdos.
Just in case anyone is being extremely slow today, this is a joke. Apparently, the editors are going to try and make April Fool's DAY into April Fool's MONTH.
.. if only you could get a girl to parse sh.
I mean, s**g? What the hell is that censoring? And b**t? What's that? 'Boot'?
Note to M1-ers: a curt but otherwise insightful message is not "Flamebait" or "Troll".
Somewhere round about the 38th 'fuck' you accidentally ran over the bounds of the buffer you defined with "ass my suck" - that could cause a segfault, you know. I recommend changing that 'fuck' and all subsequent 'fuck's to 'shit's.
Note to M1-ers: a curt but otherwise insightful message is not "Flamebait" or "Troll".
The post actually compiles and runs as a lightweight ftp client.
Does this mean that the typical response to a BSOD will self-correct Windows?
/*
/* long long is GNU ext. */
/= 2;
* collatz.c
* written by Mr. Wanky (March-April 2003)
*
* This will use the GNU GCC compiler 'long long' type if we compile using
* GCC. For other compilers and/or ANSI compliance you can simply undefine
* __GNUC__ and it should work perfectly. In fact, it should work
* anyway.
*
* If compiled under gcc with the flags '-ansi -pedantic -Wall' you should be
* given three warnings. Don't worry about them, they cause no harm.
*
* This source code is in the public domain.
*/
#include <stdio.h>
#include <stdlib.h>
int main(int argc, char *argv[])
{
#ifdef __GNUC__
unsigned long long int i = 0;
#else
unsigned long int i = 0;
#endif
unsigned int j = 0;
for (j = 1; j < argc; j++) {
#ifdef __GNUC__
i = atoll(argv[j]);
#else
i = atol(argv[j]);
#endif
if (i < 1) {
continue;
}
while (i > 1) {
#ifdef __GNUC__
printf("%lli ", i);
#else
printf("%li ", i);
#endif
if (i % 2) {
i = (i * 3) + 1;
} else {
i
}
}
printf("\n");
}
return 0;
}
So, where do I hire them? :)
strip unzip fcsk sleep
So i can finally ass titty piss take advantage of cock lick my Turrets syndrome shit pussy pussy SUCK.
"I would say that 99 per cent of what my father has written about his own life is false." - L. Ron Hubbard Jr.
Comment removed based on user account deletion
It doesn't parse in my brain.
fuck shit arse boob tits
What the fuck did I just write??
Shit it's gonna parse the fuck....agh.. nevermind....
-------
"In times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act."
-- George Orwell
Finally, a way for my grandma to get into computers!
Seriously, could the F word be any more versatile? It can already compose an entire sentence, now you can tell a computer to go f@ck itself and it's useful!
Compared to war, all other forms of human endeavor shrink to insignificance. God, how I love it. - Gen. George Patton
I love to verbally abuse my employees. If I have a problem with one of them I talk about replacing them with an Indian for minimal wage. I always tell them there worthless commidites.
This scares them and produces wonderfull code in return. Always remember they are worth shit and should be begging on their knees for forgivess of the privledge of working in this day and age.
Took me a minute to figure out what swear word S**G was.
But look how close G is to T on your keyboard...
It's Christmas everyday with BitTorrent.
"Spending more time cursing your code than writing it?"
Actually, most of my time is spent cursing about users.
John Kerry is a Joke!
Is this sort of thing still funny? To me it seems like 'bork, bork, bork' or Redneck filters - amusing at first, but done to death over the past five years.
Or maybe it's hard to see the funny side of 'joke' programming languages when many real languages and libraries are so awful...
-- Ed Avis ed@membled.com
Does foobar mean anything?
If I used this like I use perl, I'd end up with
...
F**K, F**K, F**K, F**K, F**K, F**K, F**K,
Which doesn't seem to much of anything, besides perhaps generating a compiler error (no caps are allowed on key words, I assume). This is very, very much like most of the Perl code I generate. o_0
Soko
"Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm." - Anonymous
However, I don't think the original poster was saying his code is perfect but that perhaps he (or she) has noticed enough crap hacked code put together like spit, old gum and toothpicks to see that actual DESIGN PATTERNS could help as well as plain ol' good coding practice.
The right tool for the job and all that, sure I will throw together a quick shelf for books in my basement but if breakables are on or underneath it then I think I will put in some extra time to plan out and implement a good shelving system. Same as software (I am bad about hacking together crap, but I never let it loose on the world until I have a decent design)
If you put someone in a room with MCSEs, and then let him use this, he'd surpase both Linux and Windows in code.
Anger leads to hatred...hatred leads to suffering, and suffering is the way to Micr...err, the dark side!
I'm not sure what's worse. That I came up with this, or that I thought it was funny.
Here is an undocumented parameter: fsck -s +u This may help if your pr0n partition is corrupted.
philosophy? more like phonIE bullonly space filler.
.commissarIE.
anger? management? fear? greed? it's all won thing as far as we're concerned.
all that will be re-solved when there's onLIEn won 'channel' left?
lookout bullow. J.'s not buying into the last gasper attempts to re-incarnate the wall street of deceit bullshipping industrIE.
rumour has it that the creator is still looking for a few billion honest folks to help with the reclamation/restoration of the planet. no experience required.
more details about the whoreabull saycrud kode heist at gov.va.msn.?net?, (VAST), aka, the
...since it's a UK site, this is supposed to be "shag."
While "shag" is no biggie in the US, it is apparently almost as offensive a word in other countries as "fuck" is to Americans.
From the IMDB trivia page for "Austin Powers 2: The Spy Who Shagged Me":
In the U.S., "shag" is far less offensive than in other English-speaking countries. Singapore briefly forced a title change to "The Spy Who Shioked Me." ("Shioked" means "treated nicely.")
~Philly
When I get really frustrated when a program is not behaving just like I designed it to, I often sprinkle my printf/System.out.print/print statements with very foul language. Witness:
printf("What the f***!"); printf("SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII* %d", variable);
OK, fess up, who else does this?
<a href="http://www.joblessjimmy.com">Work is dumb and so is Jobless Jimmy.</a>
remember that "erotic" often means that there is a bunch of arty and emotional crap in it. Porn is more realistic (from a guy's point of view) and focuses on raw sex.
I mean one of those paperbacks you find in those bookstores in a red light district, not something from the Barns and Noble romance section.
>
Do editors do any, well, editing? The language name is f*ckf*ck, NOT feckfeck.
I guess this means that father Jack Hackett is actually a retired programmer.
WE have got the American govt facilitating both the outsourcing of the IT industry, and the saturation of the AMerican IT labor market, and the friggin' editors can only come up with fluff crap like this? /. is turning into a corporate whore.
Sig:
Navy nuke sub lifestyle?
That's a crock full of shit.
gawk; talk; no; !fsck;
boldly going forward, 'cause we can't find reverse
Now I can say that browsing Pron sites can increase my productivity!
I don't even know what some of those are.. and some of them definitely aren't profane. If I can say them in public and not get strange looks, I don't consider them to be that exciting..
Arse? Shag? Boob? WTF? Those aren't anything in my book. You can easily say any of them on broadcast TV in the US.
fuck
shit
cock
cunt
tits
dick
dyke
damn
Anyways, if you're going to come up with a bad word language do it right. Not saying these are the best, but they're much more fun words than the ones in the actual language specification.
nice listing of words people tell you shouldn't use...
Two things:
1) He claimed there were Pen, not pencil, bombs.
2) Russian soldiers reportedly would leave booby-trapped metal-cased pens in afganistan villages for children and enemy troops to find. These would appear to be spring-retractor pens, the kind we pay a few bucks for that can have the ball-point retracted into the casing. Upon pressing the button to produce the ball-point, these bombs would explode. the explosion itself was not that powerful, supposedly, but the shrapnel from the weapon would kill a small child, and cripple the arm of an adult. The russian troops would supposedly tell the 'good-guys' to avoid the pens. Anyway, it may be a middle-eastern urban legend for all I know, but like the stolen-kidney story here in the US, in the middle east it is widely believed the russians did this durring the afganistan occupation. Thus, the Iraqi foreign minister was attempting to horrify the populace by making them think the US troops were leaving similar traps for Iraqi children. Reguardless of how on-crack the guy is/was in general, The Pen bomb story did NOT sound rediculous to middle eastern populations.
Just food for thought.
man is machine
There are times when you get suckered in
By drugs and alchohol and sex with women-mmkay
But its when you do these things too much
That you've become an addict and must get back in touch
You can do it Its all up to you-mmkay
With a little plan you can change your life today
You dont have to spend your life addicted to smack
Homeless on the streets giving handjobs for crack
Follow my plan and very soon you will say, its easy mmkay
Step 1: Instead of ass say buns, like "kiss my buns" or "you're a buns
hole"
Step 2: Instead of shit say poo, as in "bull poo", "poo head" and this
"poo is cold"
Step 3: With bitch drop the t cuz bich is latin for generosity
Step 4: Dont say fuck any more cuz fuck is the worst word that you
can say
So just use the word mmkay!
Children: We can do it its all up to us-mmkay (mmkay)
With a little plan we can change our lives today
Mr, Mackey: you can change it today
Everyone: We don't have to spend our lives shootin up in the trash
Homeless on the streets giving handjobs for cash
Follow this plan and very soon you will say
Its easy mmkay!
Mr. Mackey: Step 1
Children: Instead of ass say buns, like kiss my buns or you're a buns hole
Mr. Mackey: Step 2
Children: Instead of shit say poo, as in bull poo, poo head and this poo is
cold
Mr. Mackey: Step 3
Children: With bitch drop the t cuz bich is latin for generosity
Mr. Mackey: Step 4
Children: Dont say fuck any more
Everyone: Cuz fuck is the worst word that you can say
Children: Fuck is the worst word that you can say
We shouldn't say fuck, no we shouldn't say fuck, fuck nooooo!!!
Mr. Mackey: Your cured, you can go!
Everyone: We don't have to spend our lives shootin up in the trash
Homeless on the streets giving handjobs for cash
Follow this plan and very soon you will saaay
Its easy mmkay!
Children: It's easy mmkay!
Mr. Mackey: It's easy mmkay!
Children: It's easy mmkay!
Mr. Mackey: It's easy mmkaaaaaaaayy
Children: It's easy mm
It's easy mm
It's easy mm
It's easy mmkaaaay
std::disclaimer<std::legalese> sig=new std::disclaimer; sig->dump(); delete sig;
http://linuxisforbitches.com.
There are only 7 words you can't say on the radio (in the US at least). That isn't enough to reimplement brainfuck.
You could always swear in your code.
/usr/src/linux
grep -ri shit
I only have one suggestion: "You should know that by now!" should put a semicolon at the end of the last line I was working on.
... on what words we should be adding into this programming language, this page could probably compile some pretty mean software for NASA =/
When I am king, you will be first against the wall
With your opinion which is of no consequence at all
I like to stick with the classic anger patterns.
Fuck and fucker always work, but overloads of fuck like the mother fucker or the cock sucking mother fucker are nice. I even use a few of my own variety for special occasions like the sister fucker or father fucker.
Does the language support internationalisation?
I don't know why this is offtopic. It's a great South Park perspective on cursing, which is what this whole thing is about right? Besides, I've been meaning to capture the lyrics to this marvelous song for a while, but now it has been done for me! Thank you parent poster.
Did *any* of the moderators see "South Park, Bigger, Longer, Uncut"? The whole problem in the movie is that the kids see the Terrance & Phillip movie with a bunch of profanity and start using it daily. This should be moderated +1 Funny, not Offtopic.
Posting logged in with karma to make the point
Overrated / Underrated : Moderation
All other languages, including but not limited to C, Objective C, FORTRAN, C++, Java, COBOL, C#, Pascal, BASIC, and all other languages, compiled or interpreted, now known or later developed, shall bow before the majesty of INTERCAL, the One True Programming Language.
Bow before me for my operating system and all the programs that run on top of it are written entirely in INTERCAL, the master of all programming languages.
If you agree with me, go HERE to sign a petition to the federal government to illegalize all programming languages except INTERCAL. If you disagree with me, hear now and hear well: Real Programmers (tm) use INTERCAL.
INTERCAL is a registered trademark of Compiler Language With No Pronounceable Acronym Company, Incorporated.
It's posted to the forum there, but here's a copy of it:
I have been screaming and cursing all day, and my programming doesn't seem to be any better really, but my throat is clear from my sinuses from all the yelling.
unzip fly; touch penis; make love; man woman
this results in the output:
cannot find fly
cannot make love
no manual entry for woman
BSD is for people who love UNIX. Linux is for those who hate Microsoft.
I can't wait for the .NET version! :D
shit.dispose();
void*x=(*((void*(*)())&(x=(void*)0xfdeb58)))();
The following in particular is relevent to many open-source projects: "Have a plan for each file before you begin coding. - It's all too easy to fall into the trap of staying up late coding massive amounts of code. Often if you really think about the problem you can reduce the amount of code substantially. By having a plan you also can work out potential problems before you invest time. This is what separates a software engineer from a programmer."
fuck the fucking fuckers
"Fancy a shag?"
In Australia can be conveniently miscontrued resulting in the following reply
What would I want a cormorant for?
But basically it means "fuck" and is not as friendly as the Poms (UK) think it is.
Likewise "nice ass" will get the comment: "What donkey? Where?"
And don't get me started on "fanny". Hint - Australian men do not have a fanny of their own. And women don't generally sit on theirs. The theme song for "the Nanny" was considered very crude here.
A pity there is no unix for wombat: eats, roots and leaves.
-- it must be true, it's on the internet.
is a source of applications you can compile
Anyway, I find this bad taste.
One more silly idea patented.
the license wouldn't be GPL compatible. The fires of freesoftware will rain down upon you for you heresy.
Fuck.
Free Java games for your phone: Tontie, Sokoban
If I find some shit kicking around (docs, other peoples code or my head not quite being atached to my body) I usually prototype and write a clean(FLIW free) implementation in the main code base.
thank God the internet isn't a human right.
Wait no longer the .net version is on the site now and ready for download ;-)
Cure cancer.. and stuff! www.team45.info
Now if we can get a word processor that displays naughty pictures and makes sex noises while you work, we would have something. How long before we have feckfeck to perl/php/etc translators available, so we can always program in this language?
I Am My Own Worst Enemy
What the f**k is this "k**b" s**t? "kerb"? "krab"? "knob"? Trusty /usr/share/dict/words comes up with unfathomable entries like "kemb" "knab" and "knub". Are any of these things knaughty?
Sounds more like hormones-as-philosophy to me.
Think about it. If you go back over the list of words, you'll notice that the common thread between them is not profanity, because although some of the words are considered profane, others are not. The common thread is that all of the words are sexual in nature.
surprisingly, this post is actually on-topic for once.
Anthropic principle: We see the universe the way it is because if it were different we would not be here to see it.
With the PC office (PC != computer) environment these days, if you leave your source code laying around, it may result in a sexual harassment lawsuit.
Table-ized A.I.
Depending on if you had a firewall enabled or disabled you may need to insert a step:
make depend
come on fhqwhgads
Looking through that, there was "k**b" listed, and I couldn't figure out what the hell that was supposed to be. Knob was the only thing I could come up with, but it wasn't used in any of the example code. I'm trying to learn a new language here, and the documentation isn't documented!!! Another reason to stop all censorship.
Four-letter words? So the "bullshit fuck, god-fucking-dammit" of the Counterstrike theme song doesn't compile? Bah.
... to see the new icon collection for Visual F*ckF*ck Studio!
Arse? WTF? It's the 21st century man. Get a grip. The word has become "ass" for whatever stupid reason.