oh well, from the NEGRA MODELO troll
on
DishPVR 721 Review
·
· Score: -1, Offtopic
This system sucks. I mean, I don't know anythign about it, but it sucks., I'll tel lyou why. Because as someone was kind enough to point out the other day, slashdot exists for the soul purpose of serving as my personal entertainment center. In other words, it's for my amusemenbt. See, I post shit, and people mod me down. And a bunch of anonomous cowards respond to my shit, because they're stupidier than I am, and probably waste a lot more time at this shit. See, I waste about 15 to 20 minutes a day trolling slashdot, but I have a feeling that some folks just sit on their asses all day and reload the damn front page or something and wait for something to get posted and then they go in there and troll and shit. But anyway, I digress, so let me get back on the main subject of this stupid post. I post somethign stupid kind of like this post and I get modded down, and a bunch of ACs write shit in reply. I post something halfway decent, and nobody pays any attention. Sometimes, I post really thought-out comments where I actually say decent stuff that makes sense, and I ac tually give my opinion on something, and it's really a good comment. Really. Sometimes, I really spend like 10 or 15 minutes thinking out a response and writing something good, and then about 5 or so people will reply (with a bunch of people replying to them) and I get modded up to like a 5 or so, usually insightful for some reason, and it's like my shit actually spawns discussions or something. So likeI was saying. I talk shit, get modded down, ACs write shit. I write decent stuff, nobody pays any flippin attention. I write really good shit, I get modded up, people reply, ACs reply to them, trolls post shit. So because slashdot is so damn predictable, I get to play karma games. One moment, I decide I want my karma to go up to fifty, and within two days, I'm there because I post a lot of really good comments. Another moment, I decide that it's boring being at fifty, so I start posting shit, and everyone starts flaming me, and I get modded down. It's so fucking predictable that it's a fucking game for me now. Maybe they shouuld change slashdot. this is what I suggest... instead of jjust one karma thing for each perosn, they should have a karma thing that can grow to unlimited numbers, and it contains several things, one of which wopuld be a history of your shit. Like how many times have you been modded troll versus how many times you've been modded something good. And then, after a bunch of shit has accumuilated, they could figger out your personal signal to noise ratio, and then people could do queries to display posts that have a certain score plus who;s writers have certain karma and above, and plus, whose writers have a certain signal to noise ratio. This would give people something to work at in order to get their voice heard. After a number of trolling comments, yoi'll get a warning from the slashdot pimps, and after a number more of trolls, you'll get booted from the damn community. Oh yeah, and Ithink there should be annual cash prizes for the people who posted the most best comments during the year, with the highest signal to noise ratio, with the best whatever. So to sign up for slashdot, yoi'd have to give a physical address and certain information, which would be kept in a database NOT running Microsoft products (for security reasons) and certain shit would be verified, like they'll mail a letter that you'll hav et orespond to, and that way, you can't get a zillion accounts and karma whore. I ay turn slashdot into a first class communiuty where there si nonoe of thos bullshit. Ooooooooh ell. time for negra modelo.
I post something halfway decent, and people...................
YOU PROBABLY THINK I'M TOTALLY STUPID. WHAT'LL REALLY COOK YOUR NOODLE LATER ON IS WHETHER I REALLY AM STUPID, OR WHETHER I AM ACTUALLY TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH SOMETHING, LIKE GETTING MY NAME OUT THERE TO A LARGE AUDIENCE SO THAT WHEN I RELEASE A MOVIE CALLED rice_burners_suck, EVERYONE WILL FLOCK TO THE THEATER TO PAY BIG BUCKS TO WATCH IT. I'LL MAKE SURE THE TICKETS SELL FOR LIKE 100 bucks.
The music companies are a bunch of lousy bastards anyway. I hope they all go out of business. It might even be good for the world if new music had to be mastered, produced and marketed by the artists themselves. First of all, a lot of the bands out there couldn't even afford to do it, and they might go out and get real jobs. And since most new music sucks anyway, that wouldn't really be a problem at all. I'd say that damn near everything from 1990 onwards has sucked big time. Even Metallica! Yeah, their first four albums kicked ass, but the rest of their shit is just that: Shit! So what am I talking about? I say the government should simply shut down the RIAA and everyone involved. Just put them all out of a job. Make them sweep the streets or repair the pavement somewhere or something. That would actually be good for society. Kids wouldn't waste every penny they have on music, partly because music wouldn't cost so damn much, and partly because there'd be nothing to buy. Rap would die. Heavy metal... well, there hasn't been any good metal in years. Let me tell you something, that would be good for the whole damn economy. I'm not saying ban music... I ain't the cotton flippin taliban or something. I'm just saying, listen to the old stuff, because it had a lot of shit in it that new music doesn't have... namely skill and spirit. In other words, listen to most of the new music (especially if it involves electric guitars). What is it? It's a bunch of kids playing power chords because they don't know how to play a Gawd-damn guitar, and some of those kids have halfway-decent drummers, so it doesn't sound totally disgusting. And the lyrics are shit. So you know what? Let these assholes price fix all day long. Because in the end, I think they're a bunch of idiot bastard muthuf*ckus.
Exactly! I couldn't have said it better myself. Nowadays, kids get some video game, play it for a while, and throw it in a pile of 600 other video games, all with amazing graphics and sound... but all of them lack imagination! Seriously, it'd be cool if someone released a home-brewed system like that nowadays. Perhaps with one of those 8-bit Atmel processors or something. (They cost meager pennies when purchased in large amounts.) Some games with really crappy graphics (but a LOT of soul) could be hand-assembled. I think I'd be the first to buy one. (And the games, instead of coming on cartridges, would be on paper tape if I could help it!)
Ah, those were the good ol' days. When video games were still in cartridges and having an Atari meant you were cool.
I'll never forget how I spent endless hours playing Pac Man, Asteroids, Defender, Tron, or about a zillion other games on the VCS. It is ALL about Atari.
Nintendo, Sega, the 3D0, the Playstation (or PS2) all suck in comparison to the stalwart Atari game console. Now I'm in the mood to sit on my driveway in a lawn chair, enjoy a Negra Modelo, and reminisce about the good ol' days. Oooooooh well.
Here's what I think. I think a company needs to be started (let's call it Microsoft for our purposes), and that company will take all the GPLd software, package it, and license it under a commercial license so strict that you're not even allowed to remove the CD from the shrink-wrapping, let alone try to execute any of the information on it.
About two years ago, my employer banned all music at work. I work in an automotive facility--not like where you get an oil change, but like where you get engine blocks bored and stuff. (To be more accurate, it's where prototypes of various machined parts are made for testing and stuff. Also, as a sort of side job, a lot of repair work is done, because there's big money in it. Think about it... make a hole a bit bigger and charge the poor shmoe $400 to do it.) You could say that prior to about two years ago, there were practically "no rules." This meant that in every corner of the facility, employees blasted their stereos with all their favorite music. In one corner of the shop, you heard Metallica, in another, Mozart, and in another yet, that stupid noise that some people call Pop. And there were about twenty other zones like this. At the various computers, which are all connected to the 'net through a LAN, employees downloaded countless songs through every system known to man, whether IRC or through web pages or whatever, and burned these on CDs to play everywhere in the shop. It was commonplace for someone with a computer-related request which takes one minute to fulfill to also ask for whatever songs, which would take about an hour of someone's paid time to find and download. People brought art projects into work--I am NOT kidding! The boss was always running around giving people instructions, because all the data was literally in his head and he didn't empower anybody to make decisions, so while one person had his attention (and twenty others were chasing him around for attention), everybody else was messing around. And somehow (don't even ask me how, because I can't explain this to this day), this company remained very profitable. Probably because a ton of work DID get done (though it was nearly all done in overtime, or by the boss in the middle of the night). The problem was that the company operated at perhaps 10% of the efficiency that it operates at now.
Well, let me get to my story, yo. So the boss, one day, got pissed off because a bunch of jobs had been scrapped, due to errors made by his various employees (40 of them), so he got pissed and banned all music. It's been that way ever since. (Oh yeah, and about two years ago, around the same time as this ban, he brought in a professional management team that understands the business quite well, and this increased profits to nearly twenty times the original amounts. I won't say whether the lack of music had anything to do with it, but I'm trying to say that I can see where these bans on whatever in the workplace come from. Sometimes, you just gotta get shit done.)
Um yeah... Microsoft puts out software and an asshole puts out shit. Your point being?
The questioned post attempts to represent the character and qualities of Microsoft and their software as similar in comparison to an asshole and shit, respectively.
I is a expert in the english language cause i went to the best school in my whole town and they learned me real good. So don't you be talking smack and modding me troll.
It's like something Bill Monroe once said in an interview. He was talking about some school he had gone to as a kid and dropped out or something. IIRC, his description of the event was, "I wasn't doing anything for them, and they didn't learn me anything." Except I have more style, because I actually use incorrect grammar.
Microsoft is to Software what an Asshole is to Shit.
MICROSOFT SUCKS!
No, seriously now. Microsoft is so stupid. They are so greedy, and yet they don't see a gaping huge business opportunity when it's coming right at them. And they have NO forethought whatsoever. Here's why: First, Washington Billy decides to make an Xbox. Now, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that when you make a game console, good people are gonna hack those consoles for various purposes, including education and fun. So why does Washington Billy make an Xbox then, with this knowledge being so damn obvious? The only reason to do something like this is to TAKE ADVANTAGE of the fact that a game console serves a dual purpose (playing the damn game, and hacking), and making a shitload of money off that. Like Id does. They make Wolfenstein 3D, and folks start hacking it. Granted, Id didn't plan it that way. But they profitted BIG TIME off it. So then, they make Doom, but they release little tidbits of information every so often, to help the hackers. And what do you know? Everybody and his uncle buys DOOM, and Carmack drives a fancier car than Washington Billy. So then they release the source to Wolfenstein, and later, to DOOM, and later, they even release the source to Quake! And the d00dz who wrote it are rolling in dough. So what does that teach you? That Washington Billy might have caught on to the clue and figgered out that if they can make millions by doing that, he can make zillions. But then what does he do? He bitches and moans when someone hacks the Xbox. Well, d00d, it was obvious that it was gonna happen!
It reminds me of this stupid girl I used to know... this might have been about 8 or 9 years ago. She was hot. And she kept smiling at me and talking to me and shit. So one day, I ask for her phone number, and she gives it to me. Anyway, an hour later, I'm talking to some shmoe, and she comes up to talk to me. I say I gotta do some shit, but I'll call you later. No, don't call me, she says. I say why not. She says she has a boyfriend. So I say why did you give me your number. She says cuz you asked for it. I say, "WELL WHAT DID YOU THINK I WAS GONNA DO WITH IT?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!"
So Billy is doing the same thing. He should have used his friggin noggin first. But noooooooooo. So let me tell you something. I hope NOBODY EVER HACKS/MODS/BUYS/USES/THINKS ABOUT USING an Xbox, EVER. It's made by Micro$oft. Therefore, like Windoors, Internet Exploder, Lookout Express, and all their other defective excuses for products, the Xbox is garbage, and nobody should support it.
(Oliver Wendell Holmes was one hell of a poet, I tell you.)
I think the government should start a federal agency called the Citizen Outrage Service. (The word Service would serve the same purpose in this case as it does in Internal Revenue Service.) The COS would send out teams of specialists to raid 100 random homes each day and jack whatever they see fit, citing federal authority under "The new privacy laws" or something. When citizens get outraged that their stuff is getting jacked, their only recourse is to fill out a "How are we doing?" form and file it in a government suggestion box. To arrive at this suggestion box, you would have to file a form COS177389B, providing personal information in 132 different fields, and sign the form in 92 places, giving the government permission to read the answers you're filing with them. Then, you'd mail this (certified mail, of course), and it would be processed within 90 days. Actually, it'll take more like a year or so for them to process it, because they'll be backlogged from day one, and the backlog will perpetually increase. Then, they'll send you another form to fill out, COS117348K, Application to Enter Queue for Citizen Outrage Service Suggestion Box. Then, you'd fill out this form, and within 90 days (or two years, whichever comes last), they'll contact you two hours in advance of your appointment to notify you that you must travel 1,000 miles to their nearest "convenient" office. Once there, you'll have to wait in line for about eight hours to arrive at a window where you produce paperwork to prove that you have official business to carry out at that office. Once you have proven your innocence, you'll be sent to some obscure location within the building, given crappy directions that have you wandering around endless bland government hallways and elevators, until you finally arrive at some over-crowded office. There, you wait in line to arrive at a ticket dispenser, where you pick a number and wait to be called. Once you're called, the impatient clerk who has no decision authority whatsoever asks you a couple of questions, and when he (or she) realizes that your problem is outside their realm of authority (as are all problems, as they have no authority), they explain why things can't be done, hand you a form COS177389B, and explain that you have to file that and wait to be called by the Citizen Outrage Service.
Now, you might think this is ridiculous, but if you remove the part about them raiding your house and stealing stuff, and change some of the names around a little bit, you end up with something that looks a lot like the Immigration and Naturalization (you guessed it) Service. Perhaps the FBI should raid their offices and jack a bunch of computers, to investigate why the INS is burning up tons of government funds, and then fails to do their job correctly.DISCLAIMER:THIS POST IS SATIRE, SARCASM and HUMOR, in no particular order. So if you got a problem with what I said, take it and shove it up your rear end. Oooooooooooooh well.
This country was founded to be run by the current whims of the Party, as detailed in the Constitution, also known as 1984 by George Orwell, as evidenced by the ability of huge multinational corporations to purchase whatever laws serve their convenience at the moment from the Government, a convenient content provider of such laws. Just wait a few more years, when they start installing nanoscale biotech computers in every person's cerebral cortex to monitor all their thoughts and report their GPS location along with gigabytes of data per second to enormous central distributed computers that perform constant real-time analysis and investigation, deploying police officers to shoot you if they sense that you may, at some future time, commit a crime of any magnitude. Then we'll see who's sane. Until then, I'm sticking with the Constitution of the United States, as composed by our Forefathers, not some fake immitation Constitution of some bullshit started by a bunch of liberals and other lowlives.
Uh, pardon me... Your information is somewhat inaccurate. First, the state of California does not require reciting of the pledge. It merely requires that all students acknowledge their flag. Further, you are mistaken in the following:
Michael Newdow, an atheist living in the state of California, sued the state on the ground that the California Education Code requirement that each school day begin with appropriate patriotic exercises including but not limited to the giving of the pledge of allegiance, and the school district's requirement that each elementary school class recite the pledge of allegiance daily compels his daughter to "watch and listen as her state-employed teacher in her state-run school leads her classmates in a ritual proclaiming that there is a God,"
and therefore constituted a state establishment of religion, prohibited by the first amendment (and, by extension through the fourteenth amendment, to states and school districts, which are sub-units of the states). His petition asked the court to order the President to modify the pledge to delete the offending section. [emphasis mine]
Now perhaps I am an ignorant son of a bitch, but I believe this is the First Amendment you refer to:
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion,
or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances. [emphasis mine]
Alright, let's analyse this. Congress can't prohibit the free exercise thereof. Hmmm... Where does the first amendment prohibit people from saying the word, "God?" I don't see it in there, anywhere. In fact, it says they CAN'T stop you from saying "Under God." (In "abridging the freedom of speech," eh.) Yeah. The first amendment isn't a phonebook-sized bill of crap like most legalese written today. Back then, they wrote shit with pens and paper, so they put thought into their legalese. Unlike today, when the legislative branch files a bug report with Microsoft, stating that Word crashes when they write a 10,000 word footnote. So scratch that.
Oh, and may I point out one more thing? The State of California, which ALLEGEDLY requires reciting of the pledge, is NOT the Congress named in the Constitution. Therefore, the Constitution does NOTHING to prevent the state of California from requiring the recitation of the pledge. Think about it.
When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's
God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation. [emphasis mine]
May I point out usage of "God" in the Declaration of Independance? This is unconstitutional (even though it preceded the constitution) and therefore, the United States of America should IMMEDIATELY rescind this horrible document and transfer ownership back to England. Oh yeah, and they should send payment (plus interest and penalties) for the tea destroyed in Boston harbor. (And it'll be paid for with rocks and humans sold into slavery because our money, which holds "In God We Trust" will be ruled unconstitutional, and therefore, of worthless value.)
This is totally stupid. The solution is so simple, I am appalled that nobody has thought of it: Simply define the word "God" as a legal term which means both nature (for statements like "acts of God") and a higher authority than the government itself (for statements like "under God"), which is, at the option of each individual, either real or imagined, that when used in any literature, legally serves as an abstract definition. That'll shut up those stupid, fscking liberal pieces of garbage that claim to be human beings, because you can't call a legal definition unconstitutional if it doesn't force you to believe in anything.
My second comment is that these bleeding heart liberals often cite "The Constitution" (in much the same way that Microsoft users cite "The Computer" when something goes wrong) when it comes to the first amendment about religious freedom. Literally, the text of that amendment is, "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances. [Emphasis mine.]" Please note that you can't fscking stop me from saying "Under God" or I'll sue you.
If Big Brother doesn't implement the Mark of the Beast, these alleged humans (the liberals) will.
Pablo? Come to Florida honey, we miss you.
on
Pet Bugs?
·
· Score: 3, Funny
My weirdest, most annoying bug was a software package I authored. It had over 400,000 lines of C source code took fifteen minutes to compile under Watcom, and took about an hour to execute on a 486. As it turned out, the whole program could have been implemented in about thirty lines, which execute almost instantaneously on the same computer. So I didn't know that C supported integer math expressions. So sue me.
now lemme get this straight... california wants to allow dos attacks, uk wants to ban dos attacks... where the hell is the damn consistency, damn it?! the fuckin' internet spans the whole fuckin' globe. so i think it shouldn't be governed at all!!!!!!111111 cuz no government agency could do the job, because everyone in government is stupid!!!!!!11111111 yeah, they can govern the sale of cabbage fine, but when it comes to cool things like internet, those jackasses in government are a bunch of boring old farts with gray hair and tires around their bellies and all they care about is fucking over every single person in the world in order to cater to the needs of huge fucking multinational corporations that want to implement the Mark of the Beast and turn us all to shit. because as the constitution says, "We the Corporations of the United States, in order to form a more perfect system of eternal perpetually increasing profits, hereby ordain and establish this Constitution..."
blah blah blah!!! that sucks!!!/. exists for my personal entertainment!!!!111111111 it's not a nooz site!!! i am a 1337 h4x0r!!!111111 get $$$$$ for h4x0rz!!!!!!1111111111
Disclaimer: I do not work for Negra Modelo, nor am I in any way affiliated with Cervezeria Modelo or anything related to them or their superb products. I just love Negra Modelo!
Copyright (c) 2002 rice_burners_suck. All rights reserved. This troll is protected by United States copyright law and international treaty. Do not make illegal copies of this troll.
(The sad part is that the above copyright statement is the truth. This shit really is copyrighted, and I could actually get you for infringing on my copyright. How sad it is. There should be a law stating that something isn't copyrighted or in any way protected by intellectual property laws unless it actually has intellectual value, in the opinion of a board of professors from fancy shmancy universities like Harvard. They'd criticize every piece of intellectual property like it's a Ph.D. thesis or something.)
I'd bet they're guilty! Don't believe anything they say! In fact, for corporations, the law should be guilty until proven innocent, and still guilty after that! Corporations should have to pay all their profits back to the citizens at the end of the year!Blah blah blah!!! This is because my Karma is almost at 50, and it's boring once it's that high! So let's get that crap reduced! fskjklfjlkfjdsjflk kdfkdjsflkjs hahahahahaha!
NO! I AM NOT A TROLL!
No, seriously now. Yeah right, as if such a thing as seriously exists, eh? I've written some really awesome comments for Slashdot today. Just take a look at my comment history page or whatever. You'll see. There's good stuff, but now I'm so bored with this crap that I'm posting junk. But that's ok. It's only karma, foo.
Don't support Microsoft. They're stupid. Instead, take a PS2 and a bunch of other game consoles, TV parts, stereo components, and stuff, and build a huge box that plays a bunch of games, runs a bunch of operating systems, and performs a bunch of operations. It'll be like a home-built supercomputer. Dude, you could use the parts out of disposable cameras too! Make it run UNICOS or something, in an emulator compiled for the Macintosh, that's run in an emulator compiled for the Alpha processor, that runs in an emulator that does the job. That'll slow it down enough that it'll work at about the same speed as the original tanks that ran UNICOS. So it'll be just like back in the old days.
Slashdot Mirror
YOU PROBABLY THINK I'M TOTALLY STUPID. WHAT'LL REALLY COOK YOUR NOODLE LATER ON IS WHETHER I REALLY AM STUPID, OR WHETHER I AM ACTUALLY TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH SOMETHING, LIKE GETTING MY NAME OUT THERE TO A LARGE AUDIENCE SO THAT WHEN I RELEASE A MOVIE CALLED rice_burners_suck, EVERYONE WILL FLOCK TO THE THEATER TO PAY BIG BUCKS TO WATCH IT. I'LL MAKE SURE THE TICKETS SELL FOR LIKE 100 bucks.
Ooooooooooooooooh well.
Exactly! I couldn't have said it better myself. Nowadays, kids get some video game, play it for a while, and throw it in a pile of 600 other video games, all with amazing graphics and sound... but all of them lack imagination! Seriously, it'd be cool if someone released a home-brewed system like that nowadays. Perhaps with one of those 8-bit Atmel processors or something. (They cost meager pennies when purchased in large amounts.) Some games with really crappy graphics (but a LOT of soul) could be hand-assembled. I think I'd be the first to buy one. (And the games, instead of coming on cartridges, would be on paper tape if I could help it!)
I'll never forget how I spent endless hours playing Pac Man, Asteroids, Defender, Tron, or about a zillion other games on the VCS. It is ALL about Atari.
Nintendo, Sega, the 3D0, the Playstation (or PS2) all suck in comparison to the stalwart Atari game console. Now I'm in the mood to sit on my driveway in a lawn chair, enjoy a Negra Modelo, and reminisce about the good ol' days. Oooooooh well.
Here's what I think. I think a company needs to be started (let's call it Microsoft for our purposes), and that company will take all the GPLd software, package it, and license it under a commercial license so strict that you're not even allowed to remove the CD from the shrink-wrapping, let alone try to execute any of the information on it.
About two years ago, my employer banned all music at work. I work in an automotive facility--not like where you get an oil change, but like where you get engine blocks bored and stuff. (To be more accurate, it's where prototypes of various machined parts are made for testing and stuff. Also, as a sort of side job, a lot of repair work is done, because there's big money in it. Think about it... make a hole a bit bigger and charge the poor shmoe $400 to do it.) You could say that prior to about two years ago, there were practically "no rules." This meant that in every corner of the facility, employees blasted their stereos with all their favorite music. In one corner of the shop, you heard Metallica, in another, Mozart, and in another yet, that stupid noise that some people call Pop. And there were about twenty other zones like this. At the various computers, which are all connected to the 'net through a LAN, employees downloaded countless songs through every system known to man, whether IRC or through web pages or whatever, and burned these on CDs to play everywhere in the shop. It was commonplace for someone with a computer-related request which takes one minute to fulfill to also ask for whatever songs, which would take about an hour of someone's paid time to find and download. People brought art projects into work--I am NOT kidding! The boss was always running around giving people instructions, because all the data was literally in his head and he didn't empower anybody to make decisions, so while one person had his attention (and twenty others were chasing him around for attention), everybody else was messing around. And somehow (don't even ask me how, because I can't explain this to this day), this company remained very profitable. Probably because a ton of work DID get done (though it was nearly all done in overtime, or by the boss in the middle of the night). The problem was that the company operated at perhaps 10% of the efficiency that it operates at now.
Well, let me get to my story, yo. So the boss, one day, got pissed off because a bunch of jobs had been scrapped, due to errors made by his various employees (40 of them), so he got pissed and banned all music. It's been that way ever since. (Oh yeah, and about two years ago, around the same time as this ban, he brought in a professional management team that understands the business quite well, and this increased profits to nearly twenty times the original amounts. I won't say whether the lack of music had anything to do with it, but I'm trying to say that I can see where these bans on whatever in the workplace come from. Sometimes, you just gotta get shit done.)
The questioned post attempts to represent the character and qualities of Microsoft and their software as similar in comparison to an asshole and shit, respectively.
I is a expert in the english language cause i went to the best school in my whole town and they learned me real good. So don't you be talking smack and modding me troll.
It's like something Bill Monroe once said in an interview. He was talking about some school he had gone to as a kid and dropped out or something. IIRC, his description of the event was, "I wasn't doing anything for them, and they didn't learn me anything." Except I have more style, because I actually use incorrect grammar.
[clear throat, sip water]
Microsoft is to Software what an Asshole is to Shit.
MICROSOFT SUCKS!
No, seriously now. Microsoft is so stupid. They are so greedy, and yet they don't see a gaping huge business opportunity when it's coming right at them. And they have NO forethought whatsoever. Here's why: First, Washington Billy decides to make an Xbox. Now, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that when you make a game console, good people are gonna hack those consoles for various purposes, including education and fun. So why does Washington Billy make an Xbox then, with this knowledge being so damn obvious? The only reason to do something like this is to TAKE ADVANTAGE of the fact that a game console serves a dual purpose (playing the damn game, and hacking), and making a shitload of money off that. Like Id does. They make Wolfenstein 3D, and folks start hacking it. Granted, Id didn't plan it that way. But they profitted BIG TIME off it. So then, they make Doom, but they release little tidbits of information every so often, to help the hackers. And what do you know? Everybody and his uncle buys DOOM, and Carmack drives a fancier car than Washington Billy. So then they release the source to Wolfenstein, and later, to DOOM, and later, they even release the source to Quake! And the d00dz who wrote it are rolling in dough. So what does that teach you? That Washington Billy might have caught on to the clue and figgered out that if they can make millions by doing that, he can make zillions. But then what does he do? He bitches and moans when someone hacks the Xbox. Well, d00d, it was obvious that it was gonna happen!
It reminds me of this stupid girl I used to know... this might have been about 8 or 9 years ago. She was hot. And she kept smiling at me and talking to me and shit. So one day, I ask for her phone number, and she gives it to me. Anyway, an hour later, I'm talking to some shmoe, and she comes up to talk to me. I say I gotta do some shit, but I'll call you later. No, don't call me, she says. I say why not. She says she has a boyfriend. So I say why did you give me your number. She says cuz you asked for it. I say, "WELL WHAT DID YOU THINK I WAS GONNA DO WITH IT?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!"
So Billy is doing the same thing. He should have used his friggin noggin first. But noooooooooo. So let me tell you something. I hope NOBODY EVER HACKS/MODS/BUYS/USES/THINKS ABOUT USING an Xbox, EVER. It's made by Micro$oft. Therefore, like Windoors, Internet Exploder, Lookout Express, and all their other defective excuses for products, the Xbox is garbage, and nobody should support it.
I think the government should start a federal agency called the Citizen Outrage Service. (The word Service would serve the same purpose in this case as it does in Internal Revenue Service.) The COS would send out teams of specialists to raid 100 random homes each day and jack whatever they see fit, citing federal authority under "The new privacy laws" or something. When citizens get outraged that their stuff is getting jacked, their only recourse is to fill out a "How are we doing?" form and file it in a government suggestion box. To arrive at this suggestion box, you would have to file a form COS177389B, providing personal information in 132 different fields, and sign the form in 92 places, giving the government permission to read the answers you're filing with them. Then, you'd mail this (certified mail, of course), and it would be processed within 90 days. Actually, it'll take more like a year or so for them to process it, because they'll be backlogged from day one, and the backlog will perpetually increase. Then, they'll send you another form to fill out, COS117348K, Application to Enter Queue for Citizen Outrage Service Suggestion Box. Then, you'd fill out this form, and within 90 days (or two years, whichever comes last), they'll contact you two hours in advance of your appointment to notify you that you must travel 1,000 miles to their nearest "convenient" office. Once there, you'll have to wait in line for about eight hours to arrive at a window where you produce paperwork to prove that you have official business to carry out at that office. Once you have proven your innocence, you'll be sent to some obscure location within the building, given crappy directions that have you wandering around endless bland government hallways and elevators, until you finally arrive at some over-crowded office. There, you wait in line to arrive at a ticket dispenser, where you pick a number and wait to be called. Once you're called, the impatient clerk who has no decision authority whatsoever asks you a couple of questions, and when he (or she) realizes that your problem is outside their realm of authority (as are all problems, as they have no authority), they explain why things can't be done, hand you a form COS177389B, and explain that you have to file that and wait to be called by the Citizen Outrage Service.
Now, you might think this is ridiculous, but if you remove the part about them raiding your house and stealing stuff, and change some of the names around a little bit, you end up with something that looks a lot like the Immigration and Naturalization (you guessed it) Service. Perhaps the FBI should raid their offices and jack a bunch of computers, to investigate why the INS is burning up tons of government funds, and then fails to do their job correctly.DISCLAIMER:THIS POST IS SATIRE, SARCASM and HUMOR, in no particular order. So if you got a problem with what I said, take it and shove it up your rear end. Oooooooooooooh well.
I AM A KARMA WHORE.
Disclaimer: This post is satire.
the console industry sucks
d000000dz!!!!!!!!!1111111 i don't no how 2 uze a www browzer!!!!!!1111 i have someone elze right my setencez 4 me!!!!!!!111111
who cares about the stupid 14th amendment?
Now perhaps I am an ignorant son of a bitch, but I believe this is the First Amendment you refer to:
Alright, let's analyse this. Congress can't prohibit the free exercise thereof. Hmmm... Where does the first amendment prohibit people from saying the word, "God?" I don't see it in there, anywhere. In fact, it says they CAN'T stop you from saying "Under God." (In "abridging the freedom of speech," eh.) Yeah. The first amendment isn't a phonebook-sized bill of crap like most legalese written today. Back then, they wrote shit with pens and paper, so they put thought into their legalese. Unlike today, when the legislative branch files a bug report with Microsoft, stating that Word crashes when they write a 10,000 word footnote. So scratch that.
Oh, and may I point out one more thing? The State of California, which ALLEGEDLY requires reciting of the pledge, is NOT the Congress named in the Constitution. Therefore, the Constitution does NOTHING to prevent the state of California from requiring the recitation of the pledge. Think about it.
May I point out usage of "God" in the Declaration of Independance? This is unconstitutional (even though it preceded the constitution) and therefore, the United States of America should IMMEDIATELY rescind this horrible document and transfer ownership back to England. Oh yeah, and they should send payment (plus interest and penalties) for the tea destroyed in Boston harbor. (And it'll be paid for with rocks and humans sold into slavery because our money, which holds "In God We Trust" will be ruled unconstitutional, and therefore, of worthless value.)
My second comment is that these bleeding heart liberals often cite "The Constitution" (in much the same way that Microsoft users cite "The Computer" when something goes wrong) when it comes to the first amendment about religious freedom. Literally, the text of that amendment is, "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances. [Emphasis mine.]" Please note that you can't fscking stop me from saying "Under God" or I'll sue you.
If Big Brother doesn't implement the Mark of the Beast, these alleged humans (the liberals) will.
Ooooooooooooh well.
now lemme get this straight... california wants to allow dos attacks, uk wants to ban dos attacks... where the hell is the damn consistency, damn it?! the fuckin' internet spans the whole fuckin' globe. so i think it shouldn't be governed at all!!!!!!111111 cuz no government agency could do the job, because everyone in government is stupid!!!!!!11111111 yeah, they can govern the sale of cabbage fine, but when it comes to cool things like internet, those jackasses in government are a bunch of boring old farts with gray hair and tires around their bellies and all they care about is fucking over every single person in the world in order to cater to the needs of huge fucking multinational corporations that want to implement the Mark of the Beast and turn us all to shit. because as the constitution says, "We the Corporations of the United States, in order to form a more perfect system of eternal perpetually increasing profits, hereby ordain and establish this Constitution..."
blah blah blah!!! that sucks!!! /. exists for my personal entertainment!!!!111111111 it's not a nooz site!!! i am a 1337 h4x0r!!!111111 get $$$$$ for h4x0rz!!!!!!1111111111
Disclaimer: I do not work for Negra Modelo, nor am I in any way affiliated with Cervezeria Modelo or anything related to them or their superb products. I just love Negra Modelo!
Copyright (c) 2002 rice_burners_suck. All rights reserved. This troll is protected by United States copyright law and international treaty. Do not make illegal copies of this troll.
(The sad part is that the above copyright statement is the truth. This shit really is copyrighted, and I could actually get you for infringing on my copyright. How sad it is. There should be a law stating that something isn't copyrighted or in any way protected by intellectual property laws unless it actually has intellectual value, in the opinion of a board of professors from fancy shmancy universities like Harvard. They'd criticize every piece of intellectual property like it's a Ph.D. thesis or something.)
what's p.u.c.?
jeez d00d, u'r worse than me!
NO! I AM NOT A TROLL!
No, seriously now. Yeah right, as if such a thing as seriously exists, eh? I've written some really awesome comments for Slashdot today. Just take a look at my comment history page or whatever. You'll see. There's good stuff, but now I'm so bored with this crap that I'm posting junk. But that's ok. It's only karma, foo.
Don't support Microsoft. They're stupid. Instead, take a PS2 and a bunch of other game consoles, TV parts, stereo components, and stuff, and build a huge box that plays a bunch of games, runs a bunch of operating systems, and performs a bunch of operations. It'll be like a home-built supercomputer. Dude, you could use the parts out of disposable cameras too! Make it run UNICOS or something, in an emulator compiled for the Macintosh, that's run in an emulator compiled for the Alpha processor, that runs in an emulator that does the job. That'll slow it down enough that it'll work at about the same speed as the original tanks that ran UNICOS. So it'll be just like back in the old days.