Microsoft is involved in this one too, eh? Maybe the government should jump in and say, "Whoa there, cowboy... You're gonna use your monopoly power in the computer malfunctions market to gain one in the cell phone market too. That ain't right, D, that just ain't right."
I think the government should pass a law that good folks who point out security vulnerabilities in the government's stuff get a huge reward... I'm talking something in the seven digit range, not including decimal places. It would be an amount like 3,001,526.72. (Kind of like the $271 fine for running a red light--why 271, as opposed to a round number?) Then, if you suggest how they might fix the problem, you get another 5 million or so (or a lifetime supply of Negra Modelo, at your option), even if they don't take your suggestion. And furthermore, if the vulnerability isn't fixed within 24 hours, you get an additional 10 million or so, and written permission to f*ck with the systems that contain the vulnerability, as a punishment to the government for its negligence.
Hey, the government punishes people when they do stuff against the government. It should punish itself for doing stuff against the people. That's only fair. This program would be given a short and coherent name like the the Government Computer Systems Security and Vulnerability Repair and Rewards Act.
Hey man, thanks for backing me up... I almost thought I'd have to sic my posse on this dude.:)
Yeah, this Microsoft thing has been going on por vida. I don't think it'll ever end. In 100 years, some judge is gonna decide that the Microsoft case will continue proceed, even though the plaintiff states are begging to stop, and that'll be 50 years after Microsoft shuts down and Theo DeRaadt's grandchildren become the government, and everyone's driver license has an unrecognisable scrambled picture because, well, encryption everywhere, etc. Oooooooooooooooh well. Time for another Negra Modelo. I love that stuff.
Hooray! The Microsoft case continues! Kudos to the judge who agreed the states can sue. This is a happy day for the good guys, because although the war against the EVIL EMPIRE hasn't yet been won, this decision brings us one step closer to a world of freedom, without the limitations and problems Microsoft sees fit to impose on the good people of the world.
This is a happy day for the BSDs, for Linux, and for all the freedom-loving people of the world.
First of all, understand the psychology here. These aren't users, as users are people who use UNIX. These are lusers. Understand that, and you've solved 50% of the problem.
The other 50% is this... When something breaks, take a long, LONG time fixing it, and every time you're asked when it'll be done, say it's because backups weren't made.
A few years ago, there was this secretary at our shop who had all kinds of important company information on her computer. For my convenience, it was never reproduced in any sort of system backup, no matter how much I begged everyone to make such backup copies. This idiot secretary often installed stupid things on the computer, like screen savers, mouse pointers, unneeded application programs and all kinds of bloat that can't possibly do a computer any good. So one day, some dumbass comes in, hands her a 3+1/2" floppy diskette and says, "Oh, this is so awesome! You've gotta put this on your computer." It was one of those stupid amusements that bored folks forward to their friends through electronic mail. Unknown to her at the time, the aforementioned floppy diskette contained a boot record virus. Somehow, this stupid secretary managed to get the virus onto her hard drive, and following that, all hell broke loose faster than shit going through a tin horn.
When the computer crashed and refused to start up again, I was called to the scene. Already busier than a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest, having yet another computer go haywire was all I needed, other than Negra Modelo. So I angrily took the computer upstairs to my desk (also known (in my company) as the computer graveyard), removed the cover, and set it on top of about six other disassembled computers, from which I had jacked parts to repair other computers.
During what followed, the secretary kept asking about the status of her computer, and I kept answering that it was an elaborate and complex surgery to remove the virus without damaging her important files. For the time being, she'd have to keep records on paper. In reality, I hadn't touched her computer for two weeks. I had better things to do.
Then, when I was a bit bored one day, I turned the computer on using an old DOS boot diskette I had lying around among my junk, and busted a new MBR onto her hard drive. Then, having become bored, I turned it back off, put it back in the pile, and continued fiddling with FreeBSD's union mounts, which don't work, by the way. Maybe one day, I'll make it a project to figure out why it don't work.
Anyway, back to the story at hand. Another week or so went by, and the secretary's nagging really started getting to me. So I told her I have to find a Windows 98 CD-ROM. Sure enough, within a few days, I had located the aforementioned CD-ROM (it was located in the same box that contained all the manuals and crap for this computer, just like I knew it was to begin with), and actually got around to sticking it in the CD-ROM drive. Windows was up and running within an hour or so, and then I got bored with that again, so I left it alone for a while. I actually have work to do, you know. (FreeBSD is such an AWESOME system. It's sooooooo much fun to fiddle around with it and get it to do neat stuff. Why waste your time fixing people's stupid DOS or Windows computers?)
A few days later, I installed her application programs, and let the computer sit for a few more days, needlessly. Then, after receiving a LOT of nagging, I finally returned it to her, about a MONTH after it happened, and warned her about installing any programs or doing anything weird with the computer, and furthermore, I warned that she MUST back up her data, at least once a week. And sure enough... the computer still works just like I installed it and backups are made every week. It just goes to show.
Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooh well. Maybe I just need another beer.
I'm a photographer, so the perfect PDA would have the USB and Ethernet built in. USB would allow interfacing between cameras and the PDA, and between the PDA and an external hard drive. Ethernet would allow connectivity to any network, and to my home or office networks. Oh yeah, and the PDA wouldn't run Windows.
What good is a program if you're unable to grok?
on
Open Source Limitations?
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· Score: 2, Insightful
I have to agree that Mr. Carroll has overlooked some important facts, but I think it's because folks in the open source community, including the companies that pay those folks to be in the community, misrepresent their reasons for developing open source. Some say, for example, that they sell free software plus value added services. (That's almost as bad as when Be, Inc. defined an Internet Appliance as being a refrigerator with a computer display, and said they're shifting focus to refrigerators instead of announcing the addition of a new product line. And then all the developers freaked out and ditched the platform altogether, and I turned my BeOS comps into FreeBSD boxen. FreeBSD rocks, by the way.)
You're not selling software plus value added services. You're selling valuable technology solutions. The software, being a non-tangible detail, is supplied for free. (It doesn't matter that the software is 101 percent of the work/solution and the rest is sticking a CD in the tray and pushing some buttons. If you want people outside the software field to understand what you're talking about, you have to talk to them like the idiots they are.)
Bill Gates was sitting in his office one day. "If I could have a penny for every time Windows crashes," thought Bill Gates to himself as he reached for his calculator, "...wait a minute... I do get a penny for every time Windows crashes!"
So, you want to know exactly how hard it is to support multiple Unices, eh? To quantify, your answer is 52 Rockwell. Let me know if you'd like it measured by another method, such as Brinell, Scleroscope, Tukon or Vickers.
Excuse me?! What "upstart" operating system are we talking about? Windows is an upstart operating system. Its code hasn't yet reached maturity, as it still contains many bugs and is unreliable. Linux, on the other hand, has been around for at lease TEN years!! This is NOT an upstart operating system!
Calling Linux an "upstart" operating system is like calling the space shuttle an elevator.
SEE?!?! I told you that nobody likes me! So far, my comment has been moderated -1: Offtopic a whopping THREE times! I just can't figure out what it is! People just don't fucking like me!
Oh well... SLASHDOT SUCKS!
speaking of which...
Every time someone says a word that reminds me of a phrase from the movie, I have to start reciting the movie from that point on until its end, and I don't stop no matter how many times people tell me that I'm fucking annoying. For example, if someone uses the word "perhaps" I'll say:
"Perhaps we're asking the wrong questions." "Leave me with him... NOW!"... and so on and so forth, until the part where Neo says, "I'm going to show these people what you don't want them to see..." It's a good 30 minutes of talking, and NOBODY can get me to shut up!
Or, if someone asks if there is something "nearby", I always say, "There is nothing nearby, not for miles." "Then there will be no one to hear you scream." And then I continue reciting a good hour or so of that movie until it's over.
Or, if someone says, "Oh my God", I'll say, "Oh my God, they've found me, I don't know how but they've found me. RUN FOR IT MARTY!" "WHO, WHO?!" "WHO DO YOU THINK? THE LIBYANS!" "HOLY SHIT!" etc.
blah blah blah blah blah
--
"Somebody's coming."
[the door opens and someone grabs him by the collar of his shirt and pulls him out of the car]
"You caused three hundred bucks damage to my car, you son of a bitch, and I'm gonna take it out of your ass. Hold him."
"Leave him alone Biff, you're drunk."
"Well lookie what we have here." etc. etc. etc.
--
Oh well... So, after describing all that shit, do you have ANY idea why people don't like me? Because I don't have a fucking clue.
What, did you think I was done?!?! Hell no!!! I've got so much more crap to write, man! The time is now 4:35. Let's see how much time I spend on this...
Let me tell you something. The other day, there was a comment about using Ping to measure the speed of light, and after thinking about nothing except for that for several days, I think I have a technical theory behind this subject... See, this is what I think: You cannot measure the speed of light using Ping. What do you think Ping is, quantum physics hard at work? That's the most idiotic thing I've ever heard in my whole entire life. Because you know what? If you want to know the speed of light, just open a damn book. It's all there, black and white, clear as crystal. You stole phizzy lifting drink and floated up to the top of the tower which must now be washed and sterilized. And you need to remember the Boromir Principle, or whatever it's called, which says that the closer you try to measure some quantum physics stuff, the more messed up your measurements will be... or wait a minute... that's not what it says. It says that you can measure X or Y closely, but not both at the same time, and the accuracy of your measurement of X is inversely proportional to the accuracy of your measurement of Y. I just don't remember what the X and the Y were... What's that called, the Heisenberg thing? I don't know... it's been FOREVER since I've put a few good hours into reading all about physics, quantum mechanics, chemestry, superstring theory (or whatever they call it today), Calabi Chow spaces or whatever they're called, and who knows what else.:-)...
Of course, if you can get the network to work exactly at the theoretical rate, you may actually be able to extrapolate the speed of light.However, that requires that I stop being an idiot and start writing some meaningful stuff in here. You see, what I've been doing in this stupid long and boring comment is just writing a bunch of crap to make it look at first glance as if I wrote a bunch of meaningful stuff, but really, it's just what I said it was a moment or two ago, no I think it was three moments ago, or was it four? You know what? I cannot tell because by the time I write a bunch more stuff, however many moments ago it was increased by a moment or two. Because you cannot stop the time, and that's really my point.
You see, time and the speed of light are really very closely intertwined! It works like this. Suppose that time is a dimension, kind of like our three dimensions of east/west, north/south, and up/down. So there's another dimension and it's past/future, and the present is almost nonexistant. The present is like the size of a tiny piece of an atom, if you could even measure it at all. What happens is this. Why is it that if you move an object at the speed of light, it like travels into the future or some bullshit like that? Actually, if you think about it for a while, speed is a measure of distance over time, or some garbage like that. What that really means is that, and by the way, the speed of light is the so-called alleged "cosmic speed limit" because THE SPEED OF LIGHT IS ACTUALLY THE SPEED OF TIME. Now if you go and read some books on the subject, there are really good explanations that I cannot reproduce here, for various reasons, and I will, for your convenient convenience, enumerate those items herein:
Copyright violations. If I would include, say, a whole "commercial" book on physics and time and shit, that would probably be considered a violation of copyright law, and next thing you know, the copyright POLICE would show up at my door, and drag me kicking and screaming to the electric chair, where they would fry my happy ass.
Because it would take too long for me to sit here like an idiot and transcribe (what a fancy word for "punch in the shit that I'm reading", eh?) the entire flipping book into this stupid freaking window, eh?
Because Guiness sucks. That's right. That stuff tastes totally wrong. It's really weird shit. I prefer Negra Modelo. It's a Mexican beer, which means it's a correct beer. Actually, Negra Modelo is an ale. That's kind of like the difference between Madeira and Port, if you know what I mean. Guiness isn't a beer, and Guiness isn't an ale. It just isn't. It's incorrect. But Negra Modelo is correct. Some other Mexican beers aren't so good. Some are much better. But I like Negra Modelo because it is really the most awesome beer/ale/whatever the hell you want to call it in existance. Good with lime and salt, or without. Do it whatever way you want. By the way, I'm not into everything Mexican... For exampple, I hate tequila. It's gross, just like Guiness. Which brings me back to what I started saying a moment or two or three or... well, you get the point because I think I went over this whole moment and time and light thing in the previous paragraph, which is what brought me here, and if I start that whole damn thing again, this will become a recursive endless forever loop like for(;;) or some garbage like that. Actually, I like to write while (1) but many compilers are really stupid and they don't optimize out the "if" that goes in there somewhere, and they check against a gosh fucking constant, for crying out loud, and you know what? I think that sucks. But what the hell was I talking about? Oh yeah, the superb taste of Negra Modelo, and the deficiencies of Guiness, which sucks. (And I'm sure this pisses off a lot of people, like Linus, who probably wants to put a contract out on my happy ass, and RMS, who is probably committing suicide right now because if Guiness ever gets outlawed, that would probably mean the end of the GPL, or on the other hand, maybe RMS is quite happy right now, because he probably figures that beer should be open source, in other words, the brewery should release their recipes and all their trade secrets under the GPL, so that anybody could piss in the beer, or some garbage like that. Oh well.
And the third reason... Or is it the fourth? I don't know, I've lost count. A couple of Negra Modelo's (because Guiness sucks) will do that to you. Oh well. I could write my own thing, and not plagiarize or whatever that stupid word is (and I can't even remember how to spell the damn thing) but that would take thought, time, and shit. And I don't have the patience for that kind of thing. So oh well.
So I will conclude that my conclusion is that I have discovered that there is no way in the entire universe that it would somehow be possible to use PING to measure the speed of LIGHT.
Einstein didn't use ping.
NEGRA MODELO. BECAUSE GUINESS SUCKS.
And then I had a revelation. A picture in my head. A picture of this! This is what makes time travel possible. The fluxcapacitor. As you can see, we've had our eye on you for some time now Mr. Anderson. It seems that you've been living two lives. In one, you're Thomas A. Anderson, program writer for a respectable software company. You have a social security number, you pay your taxes, and you help your landlady carry out her garbage. The other life is lived in computers, where you go by the hacker alias Neo and are guilty of virtually every computer crime we have a law for. One of these lives has a future, and one of them does not. Now I'm going to be as forthcoming with you as I can, Mr. Anderson. You're here because we need your help. We know that you've been contacted by a certain individual, a man who calls himself Morpheus. Whatever you think you know about this gentleman is irrelevant, he is considered by some authorities to be the most dangerous man alive. My partners think I'm wasting my time with you, but I believe you wish to do the right thing. We're willing to wipre the slate clean, give you a fresh start, and all we're asking is your cooperation in bringing a known terrorist to justice. That sounds like a really good deal, but I think I got a better one. How 'bout I give you the finger, and you give me my phone call. Hmmm... Mr. Anderson. You disappoint me. You can't scare me with this gestapo shit. I know my rights. I want my phone call. Tell me, Mr. Anderson. What good is a phone call, if you're unable to speak? The Matrix is a system Neo. That system is our enemy. Or some bullshit like that. Oh well. -- Blend one part each: Bailey's, Kahlua, vanilla ice cream. Drink responsibly.
Ok, now it's 5:22... I've spent almost an hour on this comment, not including the stuff above where I said it's 4:35, which probably took a good 15 minutes to write, since I put stuff in and took stuff out and basically editted it to look exactly the way I wanted. Oh well.
By the way... one more thing. Don't even think of telling me to get a life, because if you read this whole stupid comment, YOU need to get a life as well.
Oderint dum metuant. (Heh heh... Hablo un poco el espanol.)
Mix up the lines: "You have a problem with authority, Mr. Anderson. You believe that you are special, that somehow the rules do not apply to you. Obviously you are mistaken. This company is one of the top software companies in the world, and that is because every employee understands that they are part of a whole. Thus, if an employee has a problem, the company has a problem. The time has come to make a choice, Mr. Anderson. Either you choose to be at your desk on time from this day forth, or you choose to find yourself another job. Do I make myself clear?" "Hmmm... That sounds like a really good deal, but I think I got a better one. How 'bout I give you the finger, and you give me my phonecall."
De duobus malis, minus est semper eligendum.
Watch... I'll write the most awesome comment, and nobody will respond to it, let alone moderate it up. That's because nobody likes me. There's something inherently unpopular about me, even on the anonymous Internet. Speaking of which, Internet SUCKS! TCP/IP SUCKS! It's all about transferring information around using floppy disks... those big 8 inch ones! I think the Internet should be a service where you go to someone's homepage by writing them a handwritten letter requesting a their TCP/IP packets on floppy disk. When the disk arrives 6 to 8 weeks later, you can look at the page. (By the way, if the packets take up more than one disk, you'll have to install that disk, then send it back to the manufacturer and wait another 6 to 8 weeks for the next set of packets, and so on and so forth.) There won't be any links, but just a P.O. box address listing to order pages that would come up if links did exist, and it would take 6 to 8 weeks for those to arrive. "Downloads" would take F-O-R-E-V-E-R. I think this would be beneficial to society because. (And the previous IS a complete sentence, as is "Please wait while Microsoft.") Of course, you probably think the author of this comment is a flipping idiot, but sie hat sich einen Affen gekauft. Oh well.
So just watch... nobody will even respond to this, I betcha. "We are but poor lost circus performers. Is there a village nearby?" "There is nothing nearby, not for miles." "Then there will be no-one to hear you scream."
Oh well.
Which leads me to the next paragraph, which discusses the fact that probably nobody is even gonna be reading this far down in this retarded comment, because like I said above in the first paragraph (I think) of this post or comment or whatever you would like to call this thing that I am in the complicated process of writing right now, what the hell was I saying? Oh yeah, that there's something inherently unpopular about me. Oh well.
"Doc. I'm from the future. I came here in a time machine that you invented. Now I need your help to get back to the year nineteen eighty five." "Do you know what this means? It means that this damn thing doesn't work at all!"
Est unusquisque faber ipsae suae fortunae...... oooooooh well.
1337 h4x0rz w4nt3d!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111 h4x0r 4 $$$!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111 just kidding. i'm bored out of my mind, and the sad thing is I don't even have the patience to write a huge long comment like I do sometimes, that's why i'm writing suck boring, trash comment. oh well.
Music subscription services SUCK! Just turn on the flippin' RADIO, jackass!
No, seriously. Who's gonna pay for music when you can just listen to it on the radio, or, heaven forbid, record it off the radio?!?! If you want the music so bad and don't want to waste a lot of money on it, buy it at the used CD store! Then, you can record the damn thing on audio cassette and sell the CD back to the store. You won't get "full price" back, but you will save even more money. Vinyl rules. Video cassettes rule. Audio cassettes rule. 8 tracks rule. CDs suck. DVDs suck. New technology sucks. Everything sucks.
Ooooooh well.
Yeah, why don't you mod this "-1: fucking numbskull."
I believe that genetic engineering, nanotechnology, and the unstoppable advancements of computer processing will soon combine in a system similar to the Terminator, or Screamers. A singular consciousness that will spawn a whole race of machines. Soon, you won't know what's human and what's a robot, and the robots will wipe us out. The bible calls this day Armageddon; the end of all things.
Combine this discovery with technologies such as global computer networks, advanced robotics designed for many purposes, the ability to genetically engineer any kind of living creature and terraforming technology, and we'll be able to create entire ecosystems that produce some intended results. Call it a computer--or more accurately, a machine--the size of a planet, with its output being anything from mined materials to manufactured consumer and business products to medicines and chemicals that are hard or impossible to produce on Earth. Nobody said the atmosphere on those distant planets need to contain oxygen--they could be saturated mostly in carbon-dioxide so that genetically engineered plant life could thrive, making unbelievable things possible. Imagine... on a distant planet, where plants grow extremely fast, robots cut down millions of trees every day and ship them to Earth. No longer would it be necessary to kill trees on Earth for houses, furniture, or even paper! Materials could be mined from distant planets. Why use up our own oil, metals, minerals and whatnot, when we can mine and retreive it from another planet? Why pollute our own atmosphere to manufacture things if we can manufacture them on other planets and let those planets get polluted? If designed correctly, those planets won't even get polluted! But who cares if they do?! Garbage crisis? No problem! Put it on another planet. The beauty of it is that no human being would actually have to set foot there! The robots could fix each other when they break down, and could be remote controlled from Earth, just like the Mars lander. It would be very beneficial to all of mankind, and would open up unbelievable multitrillion dollar international businesses that deal in interplanetary sales and distribution.
I believe that all material, regardless what it is, should be considered valuable intellectual property and should be copy protected such that it is impossible to access it by any means. This is what I suggest: International laws will be passed making it necessary to publish your work through a licensed publishing company. Regardless of whether you're a single person writing a short story or an entire studio making an epic motion picture, your publisher will take your completed original, along with any and all copies, notes, materials, whatever, and publish them by throwing them into a blazing furnace. This innovative technology will prevent 100% of copyright violations and intellectual property thefts by making it physically impossible to make illegal copies of the valuable work.
Soon, the day will come when people will live about 300 years. Every time something breaks down in your body, they'll just push a button and grow you a new one. Cut off your arm in a bandsaw? No problem! A new one will be ready in 30 minutes. In fact, you won't even have to wait that long after something goes wrong. Every person will simply have spare parts in their garage refrigerator, kind of like keeping extra sparkplugs around. Just call the paramedics and they'll cruise on over and install your new organs on site. So, if all this becomes possible, why will you only live 300 years? Because eventually, your brain will start going haywire, and if they install a new one, it won't contain your data, so it would be like a newborn baby in a 300 year old body. Of course, they'll be working on that problem, but it'll be a while before they got it all figured out.
This is the most amazing thing since sliced bread! YAY SONY!
Now if only Microsoft will release a 100% GPL'd Linux distro for Xbox. Just for the principle. Oh well.Let me tell you something. You cannot measure the speed of light using Ping. What do you think Ping is, quantum physics hard at work? That's the most idiotic thing I've ever heard in my whole entire life. Because you know what? If you want to know the speed of light, just open a damn book. It's all there, black and white, clear as crystal. You stole phizzy lifting drink and floated up to the top of the tower which must now be washed and sterilized. And you need to remember the Boromir Principle, or whatever it's called, which says that the closer you try to measure some quantum physics stuff, the more messed up your measurements will be... or wait a minute... that's not what it says. It says that you can measure X or Y closely, but not both at the same time, and the accuracy of your measurement of X is inversely proportional to the accuracy of your measurement of Y. I just don't remember what the X and the Y were... What's that called, the Heisenberg thing? I don't know... it's been FOREVER since I've put a few good hours into reading all about physics, quantum mechanics, chemestry, superstring theory (or whatever they call it today), Calabi Chow spaces or whatever they're called, and who knows what else.:-)...
Of course, if you can get the network to work exactly at the theoretical rate, you may actually be able to extrapolate the speed of light.However, that requires that I stop being an idiot and start writing some meaningful stuff in here. You see, what I've been doing in this stupid long and boring comment is just writing a bunch of crap to make it look at first glance as if I wrote a bunch of meaningful stuff, but really, it's just what I said it was a moment or two ago, no I think it was three moments ago, or was it four? You know what? I cannot tell because by the time I write a bunch more stuff, however many moments ago it was increased by a moment or two. Because you cannot stop the time, and that's really my point.
You see, time and the speed of light are really very closely intertwined! It works like this. Suppose that time is a dimension, kind of like our three dimensions of east/west, north/south, and up/down. So there's another dimension and it's past/future, and the present is almost nonexistant. The present is like the size of a tiny piece of an atom, if you could even measure it at all. What happens is this. Why is it that if you move an object at the speed of light, it like travels into the future or some bullshit like that? Actually, if you think about it for a while, speed is a measure of distance over time, or some garbage like that. What that really means is that, and by the way, the speed of light is the so-called alleged "cosmic speed limit" because THE SPEED OF LIGHT IS ACTUALLY THE SPEED OF TIME. Now if you go and read some books on the subject, there are really good explanations that I cannot reproduce here, for various reasons, and I will, for your convenient convenience, enumerate those items herein:
Copyright violations. If I would include, say, a whole "commercial" book on physics and time and shit, that would probably be considered a violation of copyright law, and next thing you know, the copyright POLICE would show up at my door, and drag me kicking and screaming to the electric chair, where they would fry my happy ass.
Because it would take too long for me to sit here like an idiot and transcribe (what a fancy word for "punch in the shit that I'm reading", eh?) the entire flipping book into this stupid freaking window, eh?
Because Guiness sucks. That's right. That stuff tastes totally wrong. It's really weird shit. I prefer Negra Modelo. It's a Mexican beer, which means it's a correct beer. Actually, Negra Modelo is an ale. That's kind of like the difference between Madeira and Port, if you know what I mean. Guiness isn't a beer, and Guiness isn't an ale. It just isn't. It's incorrect. But Negra Modelo is correct. Some other Mexican beers aren't so good. Some are much better. But I like Negra Modelo because it is really the most awesome beer/ale/whatever the hell you want to call it in existance. Good with lime and salt, or without. Do it whatever way you want. By the way, I'm not into everything Mexican... For exampple, I hate tequila. It's gross, just like Guiness. Which brings me back to what I started saying a moment or two or three or... well, you get the point because I think I went over this whole moment and time and light thing in the previous paragraph, which is what brought me here, and if I start that whole damn thing again, this will become a recursive endless forever loop like for(;;) or some garbage like that. Actually, I like to write while (1) but many compilers are really stupid and they don't optimize out the "if" that goes in there somewhere, and they check against a gosh fucking constant, for crying out loud, and you know what? I think that sucks. But what the hell was I talking about? Oh yeah, the superb taste of Negra Modelo, and the deficiencies of Guiness, which sucks. (And I'm sure this pisses off a lot of people, like Linus, who probably wants to put a contract out on my happy ass, and RMS, who is probably committing suicide right now because if Guiness ever gets outlawed, that would probably mean the end of the GPL, or on the other hand, maybe RMS is quite happy right now, because he probably figures that beer should be open source, in other words, the brewery should release their recipes and all their trade secrets under the GPL, so that anybody could piss in the beer, or some garbage like that. Oh well.
And the third reason... Or is it the fourth? I don't know, I've lost count. A couple of Negra Modelo's (because Guiness sucks) will do that to you. Oh well. I could write my own thing, and not plagiarize or whatever that stupid word is (and I can't even remember how to spell the damn thing) but that would take thought, time, and shit. And I don't have the patience for that kind of thing. So oh well.
So I will conclude that my conclusion is that I have discovered that there is no way in the entire universe that it would somehow be possible to use PING to measure the speed of LIGHT.
Einstein didn't use ping.
NEGRA MODELO. BECAUSE GUINESS SUCKS.
And then I had a revelation. A picture in my head. A picture of this! This is what makes time travel possible. The fluxcapacitor. As you can see, we've had our eye on you for some time now Mr. Anderson. It seems that you've been living two lives. In one, you're Thomas A. Anderson, program writer for a respectable software company. You have a social security number, you pay your taxes, and you help your landlady carry out her garbage. The other life is lived in computers, where you go by the hacker alias Neo and are guilty of virtually every computer crime we have a law for. One of these lives has a future, and one of them does not. Now I'm going to be as forthcoming with you as I can, Mr. Anderson. You're here because we need your help. We know that you've been contacted by a certain individual, a man who calls himself Morpheus. Whatever you think you know about this gentleman is irrelevant, he is considered by some authorities to be the most dangerous man alive. My partners think I'm wasting my time with you, but I believe you wish to do the right thing. We're willing to wipre the slate clean, give you a fresh start, and all we're asking is your cooperation in bringing a known terrorist to justice. That sounds like a really good deal, but I think I got a better one. How 'bout I give you the finger, and you give me my phone call. Hmmm... Mr. Anderson. You disappoint me. You can't scare me with this gestapo shit. I know my rights. I want my phone call. Tell me, Mr. Anderson. What good is a phone call, if you're unable to speak? The Matrix is a system Neo. That system is our enemy. Or some bullshit like that. Oh well.
Let me tell you something. You cannot measure the speed of light using Ping. What do you think Ping is, quantum physics hard at work? That's the most idiotic thing I've ever heard in my whole entire life. Because you know what? If you want to know the speed of light, just open a damn book. It's all there, black and white, clear as crystal. You stole phizzy lifting drink and floated up to the top of the tower which must now be washed and sterilized. And you need to remember the Boromir Principle, or whatever it's called, which says that the closer you try to measure some quantum physics stuff, the more messed up your measurements will be... or wait a minute... that's not what it says. It says that you can measure X or Y closely, but not both at the same time, and the accuracy of your measurement of X is inversely proportional to the accuracy of your measurement of Y. I just don't remember what the X and the Y were... What's that called, the Heisenberg thing? I don't know... it's been FOREVER since I've put a few good hours into reading all about physics, quantum mechanics, chemestry, superstring theory (or whatever they call it today), Calabi Chow spaces or whatever they're called, and who knows what else.:-)...
Of course, if you can get the network to work exactly at the theoretical rate, you may actually be able to extrapolate the speed of light.However, that requires that I stop being an idiot and start writing some meaningful stuff in here. You see, what I've been doing in this stupid long and boring comment is just writing a bunch of crap to make it look at first glance as if I wrote a bunch of meaningful stuff, but really, it's just what I said it was a moment or two ago, no I think it was three moments ago, or was it four? You know what? I cannot tell because by the time I write a bunch more stuff, however many moments ago it was increased by a moment or two. Because you cannot stop the time, and that's really my point.
You see, time and the speed of light are really very closely intertwined! It works like this. Suppose that time is a dimension, kind of like our three dimensions of east/west, north/south, and up/down. So there's another dimension and it's past/future, and the present is almost nonexistant. The present is like the size of a tiny piece of an atom, if you could even measure it at all. What happens is this. Why is it that if you move an object at the speed of light, it like travels into the future or some bullshit like that? Actually, if you think about it for a while, speed is a measure of distance over time, or some garbage like that. What that really means is that, and by the way, the speed of light is the so-called alleged "cosmic speed limit" because THE SPEED OF LIGHT IS ACTUALLY THE SPEED OF TIME. Now if you go and read some books on the subject, there are really good explanations that I cannot reproduce here, for various reasons, and I will, for your convenient convenience, enumerate those items herein:
Copyright violations. If I would include, say, a whole "commercial" book on physics and time and shit, that would probably be considered a violation of copyright law, and next thing you know, the copyright POLICE would show up at my door, and drag me kicking and screaming to the electric chair, where they would fry my happy ass.
Because it would take too long for me to sit here like an idiot and transcribe (what a fancy word for "punch in the shit that I'm reading", eh?) the entire flipping book into this stupid freaking window, eh?
Because Guiness sucks. That's right. That stuff tastes totally wrong. It's really weird shit. I prefer Negra Modelo. It's a Mexican beer, which means it's a correct beer. Actually, Negra Modelo is an ale. That's kind of like the difference between Madeira and Port, if you know what I mean. Guiness isn't a beer, and Guiness isn't an ale. It just isn't. It's incorrect. But Negra Modelo is correct. Some other Mexican beers aren't so good. Some are much better. But I like Negra Modelo because it is really the most awesome beer/ale/whatever the hell you want to call it in existance. Good with lime and salt, or without. Do it whatever way you want. By the way, I'm not into everything Mexican... For exampple, I hate tequila. It's gross, just like Guiness. Which brings me back to what I started saying a moment or two or three or... well, you get the point because I think I went over this whole moment and time and light thing in the previous paragraph, which is what brought me here, and if I start that whole damn thing again, this will become a recursive endless forever loop like for(;;) or some garbage like that. Actually, I like to write while (1) but many compilers are really stupid and they don't optimize out the "if" that goes in there somewhere, and they check against a gosh fucking constant, for crying out loud, and you know what? I think that sucks. But what the hell was I talking about? Oh yeah, the superb taste of Negra Modelo, and the deficiencies of Guiness, which sucks. (And I'm sure this pisses off a lot of people, like Linus, who probably wants to put a contract out on my happy ass, and RMS, who is probably committing suicide right now because if Guiness ever gets outlawed, that would probably mean the end of the GPL, or on the other hand, maybe RMS is quite happy right now, because he probably figures that beer should be open source, in other words, the brewery should release their recipes and all their trade secrets under the GPL, so that anybody could piss in the beer, or some garbage like that. Oh well.
And the third reason... Or is it the fourth? I don't know, I've lost count. A couple of Negra Modelo's (because Guiness sucks) will do that to you. Oh well. I could write my own thing, and not plagiarize or whatever that stupid word is (and I can't even remember how to spell the damn thing) but that would take thought, time, and shit. And I don't have the patience for that kind of thing. So oh well.
So I will conclude that my conclusion is that I have discovered that there is no way in the entire universe that it would somehow be possible to use PING to measure the speed of LIGHT.
Einstein didn't use ping.
NEGRA MODELO. BECAUSE GUINESS SUCKS.
And then I had a revelation. A picture in my head. A picture of this! This is what makes time travel possible. The fluxcapacitor. As you can see, we've had our eye on you for some time now Mr. Anderson. It seems that you've been living two lives. In one, you're Thomas A. Anderson, program writer for a respectable software company. You have a social security number, you pay your taxes, and you help your landlady carry out her garbage. The other life is lived in computers, where you go by the hacker alias Neo and are guilty of virtually every computer crime we have a law for. One of these lives has a future, and one of them does not. Now I'm going to be as forthcoming with you as I can, Mr. Anderson. You're here because we need your help. We know that you've been contacted by a certain individual, a man who calls himself Morpheus. Whatever you think you know about this gentleman is irrelevant, he is considered by some authorities to be the most dangerous man alive. My partners think I'm wasting my time with you, but I believe you wish to do the right thing. We're willing to wipre the slate clean, give you a fresh start, and all we're asking is your cooperation in bringing a known terrorist to justice. That sounds like a really good deal, but I think I got a better one. How 'bout I give you the finger, and you give me my phone call. Hmmm... Mr. Anderson. You disappoint me. You can't scare me with this gestapo shit. I know my rights. I want my phone call. Tell me, Mr. Anderson. What good is a phone call, if you're unable to speak? The Matrix is a system Neo. That system is our enemy. Or some bullshit like that. Oh well.
You know what I think? I think security isn't all that important. Especially if you have NO backups of your important data, and even more especially if the data you have contains trade secrets or other stuff you don't want anybody to see. The reason is simple. Most people don't even know about computer security. They're afraid to get dust on their mouse because they think it'll give them a "virus"... and they think that when the plug of the monitor falls off the VGA output, that's caused by a "virus" as well. Because most users are FUCKING IDIOTS. Therefore, security isn't important at all. It's much easier to just arrest some teenager for using Microsoft Word to write a research paper on why cigarettes kill (an activity that could be defined as the epitome of international terrorism, and should be punished by immediate death by removal of the head) than it is to fix the bugs.
I believe the judge should make Microsoft release the source code, internal documentation and all trade secrets to the public domain within a week. Furthermore, the judge should make Microsoft evenly split all their money and assets between all free and open source software projects in existance, even those projects started for the sole purpose of getting that free money, as the purpose isn't to help free software and open source projects, but to ruin Microsoft. Furthermore, the judge should rule that all shareholders, management, employees, family and friends of employees, and anybody else who is even remotely related to Microsoft must give all their personal assets to the aforementioned free software and open source projects. Furthermore, all those people must sell themselves as slaves and give that money to those projects as well. Finally, when all is said and done, there will be no more Microsoft, and the world will have no choice but to have a choice in the matter of what operating system and software they will use from now on.
I applaud NASA for making a $100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.00 and 5,000,000,000 ton satellite smash back into the surface of the Earth, kicking up trillions of megatons of dust, covering up the entire sky, and causing every living thing on all the Earth to die. The Bible calls this day Armeggadon, the end of all things.
...Ooooooooh well... Maybe I just need another beer.
Damn straight I don't. I used some of their GARBAGE in school once. It SUCKS so much. I'll never buy any of their trash. I'd rather just drink a beer (Negra Modelo, because Guiness sucks) and go back to sleep.
One day, all you'll need for full Internet access is a handheld computer. It will be equipped with all the "short range" communications technologies, as well as digital wireless connectivity through cellular phone and satellite systems. The device will automatically pick the cheapest (or free) communication protocol to use, with the lowest power requirements, and will automatically switch between protocols when necessary. This will all occur seamlessly. In effect, you'll have connectivity no matter where you are.
Slashdot Mirror
Microsoft is involved in this one too, eh? Maybe the government should jump in and say, "Whoa there, cowboy... You're gonna use your monopoly power in the computer malfunctions market to gain one in the cell phone market too. That ain't right, D, that just ain't right."
I think the government should pass a law that good folks who point out security vulnerabilities in the government's stuff get a huge reward... I'm talking something in the seven digit range, not including decimal places. It would be an amount like 3,001,526.72. (Kind of like the $271 fine for running a red light--why 271, as opposed to a round number?) Then, if you suggest how they might fix the problem, you get another 5 million or so (or a lifetime supply of Negra Modelo, at your option), even if they don't take your suggestion. And furthermore, if the vulnerability isn't fixed within 24 hours, you get an additional 10 million or so, and written permission to f*ck with the systems that contain the vulnerability, as a punishment to the government for its negligence.
Hey, the government punishes people when they do stuff against the government. It should punish itself for doing stuff against the people. That's only fair. This program would be given a short and coherent name like the the Government Computer Systems Security and Vulnerability Repair and Rewards Act.
Oooooooooooooooh well.
Hey man, thanks for backing me up... I almost thought I'd have to sic my posse on this dude. :)
Yeah, this Microsoft thing has been going on por vida. I don't think it'll ever end. In 100 years, some judge is gonna decide that the Microsoft case will continue proceed, even though the plaintiff states are begging to stop, and that'll be 50 years after Microsoft shuts down and Theo DeRaadt's grandchildren become the government, and everyone's driver license has an unrecognisable scrambled picture because, well, encryption everywhere, etc. Oooooooooooooooh well. Time for another Negra Modelo. I love that stuff.
Hooray! The Microsoft case continues! Kudos to the judge who agreed the states can sue. This is a happy day for the good guys, because although the war against the EVIL EMPIRE hasn't yet been won, this decision brings us one step closer to a world of freedom, without the limitations and problems Microsoft sees fit to impose on the good people of the world.
This is a happy day for the BSDs, for Linux, and for all the freedom-loving people of the world.
First of all, understand the psychology here. These aren't users, as users are people who use UNIX. These are lusers. Understand that, and you've solved 50% of the problem.
The other 50% is this... When something breaks, take a long, LONG time fixing it, and every time you're asked when it'll be done, say it's because backups weren't made.
A few years ago, there was this secretary at our shop who had all kinds of important company information on her computer. For my convenience, it was never reproduced in any sort of system backup, no matter how much I begged everyone to make such backup copies. This idiot secretary often installed stupid things on the computer, like screen savers, mouse pointers, unneeded application programs and all kinds of bloat that can't possibly do a computer any good. So one day, some dumbass comes in, hands her a 3+1/2" floppy diskette and says, "Oh, this is so awesome! You've gotta put this on your computer." It was one of those stupid amusements that bored folks forward to their friends through electronic mail. Unknown to her at the time, the aforementioned floppy diskette contained a boot record virus. Somehow, this stupid secretary managed to get the virus onto her hard drive, and following that, all hell broke loose faster than shit going through a tin horn.
When the computer crashed and refused to start up again, I was called to the scene. Already busier than a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest, having yet another computer go haywire was all I needed, other than Negra Modelo. So I angrily took the computer upstairs to my desk (also known (in my company) as the computer graveyard), removed the cover, and set it on top of about six other disassembled computers, from which I had jacked parts to repair other computers.
During what followed, the secretary kept asking about the status of her computer, and I kept answering that it was an elaborate and complex surgery to remove the virus without damaging her important files. For the time being, she'd have to keep records on paper. In reality, I hadn't touched her computer for two weeks. I had better things to do.
Then, when I was a bit bored one day, I turned the computer on using an old DOS boot diskette I had lying around among my junk, and busted a new MBR onto her hard drive. Then, having become bored, I turned it back off, put it back in the pile, and continued fiddling with FreeBSD's union mounts, which don't work, by the way. Maybe one day, I'll make it a project to figure out why it don't work.
Anyway, back to the story at hand. Another week or so went by, and the secretary's nagging really started getting to me. So I told her I have to find a Windows 98 CD-ROM. Sure enough, within a few days, I had located the aforementioned CD-ROM (it was located in the same box that contained all the manuals and crap for this computer, just like I knew it was to begin with), and actually got around to sticking it in the CD-ROM drive. Windows was up and running within an hour or so, and then I got bored with that again, so I left it alone for a while. I actually have work to do, you know. (FreeBSD is such an AWESOME system. It's sooooooo much fun to fiddle around with it and get it to do neat stuff. Why waste your time fixing people's stupid DOS or Windows computers?)
A few days later, I installed her application programs, and let the computer sit for a few more days, needlessly. Then, after receiving a LOT of nagging, I finally returned it to her, about a MONTH after it happened, and warned her about installing any programs or doing anything weird with the computer, and furthermore, I warned that she MUST back up her data, at least once a week. And sure enough... the computer still works just like I installed it and backups are made every week. It just goes to show.
Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooh well. Maybe I just need another beer.
I'm a photographer, so the perfect PDA would have the USB and Ethernet built in. USB would allow interfacing between cameras and the PDA, and between the PDA and an external hard drive. Ethernet would allow connectivity to any network, and to my home or office networks. Oh yeah, and the PDA wouldn't run Windows.
I have to agree that Mr. Carroll has overlooked some important facts, but I think it's because folks in the open source community, including the companies that pay those folks to be in the community, misrepresent their reasons for developing open source. Some say, for example, that they sell free software plus value added services. (That's almost as bad as when Be, Inc. defined an Internet Appliance as being a refrigerator with a computer display, and said they're shifting focus to refrigerators instead of announcing the addition of a new product line. And then all the developers freaked out and ditched the platform altogether, and I turned my BeOS comps into FreeBSD boxen. FreeBSD rocks, by the way.)
You're not selling software plus value added services. You're selling valuable technology solutions. The software, being a non-tangible detail, is supplied for free. (It doesn't matter that the software is 101 percent of the work/solution and the rest is sticking a CD in the tray and pushing some buttons. If you want people outside the software field to understand what you're talking about, you have to talk to them like the idiots they are.)
Yeah. I know Mr. Carroll is a programmer.
Bill Gates was sitting in his office one day. "If I could have a penny for every time Windows crashes," thought Bill Gates to himself as he reached for his calculator, "...wait a minute... I do get a penny for every time Windows crashes!"
So, you want to know exactly how hard it is to support multiple Unices, eh? To quantify, your answer is 52 Rockwell. Let me know if you'd like it measured by another method, such as Brinell, Scleroscope, Tukon or Vickers.
Calling Linux an "upstart" operating system is like calling the space shuttle an elevator.
SEE?!?! I told you that nobody likes me! So far, my comment has been moderated -1: Offtopic a whopping THREE times! I just can't figure out what it is! People just don't fucking like me!
Oh well... SLASHDOT SUCKS!
speaking of which...
Every time someone says a word that reminds me of a phrase from the movie, I have to start reciting the movie from that point on until its end, and I don't stop no matter how many times people tell me that I'm fucking annoying. For example, if someone uses the word "perhaps" I'll say:
"Perhaps we're asking the wrong questions." "Leave me with him... NOW!" ... and so on and so forth, until the part where Neo says, "I'm going to show these people what you don't want them to see..." It's a good 30 minutes of talking, and NOBODY can get me to shut up!
Or, if someone asks if there is something "nearby", I always say, "There is nothing nearby, not for miles." "Then there will be no one to hear you scream." And then I continue reciting a good hour or so of that movie until it's over.
Or, if someone says, "Oh my God", I'll say, "Oh my God, they've found me, I don't know how but they've found me. RUN FOR IT MARTY!" "WHO, WHO?!" "WHO DO YOU THINK? THE LIBYANS!" "HOLY SHIT!" etc.
blah blah blah blah blah
--
"Somebody's coming."
[the door opens and someone grabs him by the collar of his shirt and pulls him out of the car]
"You caused three hundred bucks damage to my car, you son of a bitch, and I'm gonna take it out of your ass. Hold him."
"Leave him alone Biff, you're drunk."
"Well lookie what we have here." etc. etc. etc.
--
Oh well... So, after describing all that shit, do you have ANY idea why people don't like me? Because I don't have a fucking clue.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH WELL.
What, did you think I was done?!?! Hell no!!! I've got so much more crap to write, man! The time is now 4:35. Let's see how much time I spend on this...
Let me tell you something. The other day, there was a comment about using Ping to measure the speed of light, and after thinking about nothing except for that for several days, I think I have a technical theory behind this subject... See, this is what I think: You cannot measure the speed of light using Ping. What do you think Ping is, quantum physics hard at work? That's the most idiotic thing I've ever heard in my whole entire life. Because you know what? If you want to know the speed of light, just open a damn book. It's all there, black and white, clear as crystal. You stole phizzy lifting drink and floated up to the top of the tower which must now be washed and sterilized. And you need to remember the Boromir Principle, or whatever it's called, which says that the closer you try to measure some quantum physics stuff, the more messed up your measurements will be... or wait a minute... that's not what it says. It says that you can measure X or Y closely, but not both at the same time, and the accuracy of your measurement of X is inversely proportional to the accuracy of your measurement of Y. I just don't remember what the X and the Y were... What's that called, the Heisenberg thing? I don't know... it's been FOREVER since I've put a few good hours into reading all about physics, quantum mechanics, chemestry, superstring theory (or whatever they call it today), Calabi Chow spaces or whatever they're called, and who knows what else. :-) ...
Of course, if you can get the network to work exactly at the theoretical rate, you may actually be able to extrapolate the speed of light.However, that requires that I stop being an idiot and start writing some meaningful stuff in here. You see, what I've been doing in this stupid long and boring comment is just writing a bunch of crap to make it look at first glance as if I wrote a bunch of meaningful stuff, but really, it's just what I said it was a moment or two ago, no I think it was three moments ago, or was it four? You know what? I cannot tell because by the time I write a bunch more stuff, however many moments ago it was increased by a moment or two. Because you cannot stop the time, and that's really my point.
You see, time and the speed of light are really very closely intertwined! It works like this. Suppose that time is a dimension, kind of like our three dimensions of east/west, north/south, and up/down. So there's another dimension and it's past/future, and the present is almost nonexistant. The present is like the size of a tiny piece of an atom, if you could even measure it at all. What happens is this. Why is it that if you move an object at the speed of light, it like travels into the future or some bullshit like that? Actually, if you think about it for a while, speed is a measure of distance over time, or some garbage like that. What that really means is that, and by the way, the speed of light is the so-called alleged "cosmic speed limit" because THE SPEED OF LIGHT IS ACTUALLY THE SPEED OF TIME. Now if you go and read some books on the subject, there are really good explanations that I cannot reproduce here, for various reasons, and I will, for your convenient convenience, enumerate those items herein:
So I will conclude that my conclusion is that I have discovered that there is no way in the entire universe that it would somehow be possible to use PING to measure the speed of LIGHT.
Einstein didn't use ping.
NEGRA MODELO. BECAUSE GUINESS SUCKS.
And then I had a revelation. A picture in my head. A picture of this! This is what makes time travel possible. The fluxcapacitor. As you can see, we've had our eye on you for some time now Mr. Anderson. It seems that you've been living two lives. In one, you're Thomas A. Anderson, program writer for a respectable software company. You have a social security number, you pay your taxes, and you help your landlady carry out her garbage. The other life is lived in computers, where you go by the hacker alias Neo and are guilty of virtually every computer crime we have a law for. One of these lives has a future, and one of them does not. Now I'm going to be as forthcoming with you as I can, Mr. Anderson. You're here because we need your help. We know that you've been contacted by a certain individual, a man who calls himself Morpheus. Whatever you think you know about this gentleman is irrelevant, he is considered by some authorities to be the most dangerous man alive. My partners think I'm wasting my time with you, but I believe you wish to do the right thing. We're willing to wipre the slate clean, give you a fresh start, and all we're asking is your cooperation in bringing a known terrorist to justice. That sounds like a really good deal, but I think I got a better one. How 'bout I give you the finger, and you give me my phone call. Hmmm... Mr. Anderson. You disappoint me. You can't scare me with this gestapo shit. I know my rights. I want my phone call. Tell me, Mr. Anderson. What good is a phone call, if you're unable to speak? The Matrix is a system Neo. That system is our enemy. Or some bullshit like that. Oh well.
--
Blend one part each: Bailey's, Kahlua, vanilla ice cream. Drink responsibly.
Ok, now it's 5:22... I've spent almost an hour on this comment, not including the stuff above where I said it's 4:35, which probably took a good 15 minutes to write, since I put stuff in and took stuff out and basically editted it to look exactly the way I wanted. Oh well.
By the way... one more thing. Don't even think of telling me to get a life, because if you read this whole stupid comment, YOU need to get a life as well.
Oderint dum metuant. (Heh heh... Hablo un poco el espanol.)
Mix up the lines: "You have a problem with authority, Mr. Anderson. You believe that you are special, that somehow the rules do not apply to you. Obviously you are mistaken. This company is one of the top software companies in the world, and that is because every employee understands that they are part of a whole. Thus, if an employee has a problem, the company has a problem. The time has come to make a choice, Mr. Anderson. Either you choose to be at your desk on time from this day forth, or you choose to find yourself another job. Do I make myself clear?" "Hmmm... That sounds like a really good deal, but I think I got a better one. How 'bout I give you the finger, and you give me my phonecall."
De duobus malis, minus est semper eligendum.
Watch... I'll write the most awesome comment, and nobody will respond to it, let alone moderate it up. That's because nobody likes me. There's something inherently unpopular about me, even on the anonymous Internet. Speaking of which, Internet SUCKS! TCP/IP SUCKS! It's all about transferring information around using floppy disks... those big 8 inch ones! I think the Internet should be a service where you go to someone's homepage by writing them a handwritten letter requesting a their TCP/IP packets on floppy disk. When the disk arrives 6 to 8 weeks later, you can look at the page. (By the way, if the packets take up more than one disk, you'll have to install that disk, then send it back to the manufacturer and wait another 6 to 8 weeks for the next set of packets, and so on and so forth.) There won't be any links, but just a P.O. box address listing to order pages that would come up if links did exist, and it would take 6 to 8 weeks for those to arrive. "Downloads" would take F-O-R-E-V-E-R. I think this would be beneficial to society because. (And the previous IS a complete sentence, as is "Please wait while Microsoft.") Of course, you probably think the author of this comment is a flipping idiot, but sie hat sich einen Affen gekauft. Oh well.
So just watch... nobody will even respond to this, I betcha. "We are but poor lost circus performers. Is there a village nearby?" "There is nothing nearby, not for miles." "Then there will be no-one to hear you scream."
Oh well.
Which leads me to the next paragraph, which discusses the fact that probably nobody is even gonna be reading this far down in this retarded comment, because like I said above in the first paragraph (I think) of this post or comment or whatever you would like to call this thing that I am in the complicated process of writing right now, what the hell was I saying? Oh yeah, that there's something inherently unpopular about me. Oh well.
"Doc. I'm from the future. I came here in a time machine that you invented. Now I need your help to get back to the year nineteen eighty five." "Do you know what this means? It means that this damn thing doesn't work at all!"
Est unusquisque faber ipsae suae fortunae...... oooooooh well.
This comment intentionally left blank.
Oooooooooooh well.
1337 h4x0rz w4nt3d!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111 h4x0r 4 $$$!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111 just kidding. i'm bored out of my mind, and the sad thing is I don't even have the patience to write a huge long comment like I do sometimes, that's why i'm writing suck boring, trash comment. oh well.
No, seriously. Who's gonna pay for music when you can just listen to it on the radio, or, heaven forbid, record it off the radio?!?! If you want the music so bad and don't want to waste a lot of money on it, buy it at the used CD store! Then, you can record the damn thing on audio cassette and sell the CD back to the store. You won't get "full price" back, but you will save even more money. Vinyl rules. Video cassettes rule. Audio cassettes rule. 8 tracks rule. CDs suck. DVDs suck. New technology sucks. Everything sucks.
Ooooooh well.
Yeah, why don't you mod this "-1: fucking numbskull."
I believe that genetic engineering, nanotechnology, and the unstoppable advancements of computer processing will soon combine in a system similar to the Terminator, or Screamers. A singular consciousness that will spawn a whole race of machines. Soon, you won't know what's human and what's a robot, and the robots will wipe us out. The bible calls this day Armageddon; the end of all things.
...Oooooooh well. Maybe I just need another beer.
Combine this discovery with technologies such as global computer networks, advanced robotics designed for many purposes, the ability to genetically engineer any kind of living creature and terraforming technology, and we'll be able to create entire ecosystems that produce some intended results. Call it a computer--or more accurately, a machine--the size of a planet, with its output being anything from mined materials to manufactured consumer and business products to medicines and chemicals that are hard or impossible to produce on Earth. Nobody said the atmosphere on those distant planets need to contain oxygen--they could be saturated mostly in carbon-dioxide so that genetically engineered plant life could thrive, making unbelievable things possible. Imagine... on a distant planet, where plants grow extremely fast, robots cut down millions of trees every day and ship them to Earth. No longer would it be necessary to kill trees on Earth for houses, furniture, or even paper! Materials could be mined from distant planets. Why use up our own oil, metals, minerals and whatnot, when we can mine and retreive it from another planet? Why pollute our own atmosphere to manufacture things if we can manufacture them on other planets and let those planets get polluted? If designed correctly, those planets won't even get polluted! But who cares if they do?! Garbage crisis? No problem! Put it on another planet. The beauty of it is that no human being would actually have to set foot there! The robots could fix each other when they break down, and could be remote controlled from Earth, just like the Mars lander. It would be very beneficial to all of mankind, and would open up unbelievable multitrillion dollar international businesses that deal in interplanetary sales and distribution.
I believe that all material, regardless what it is, should be considered valuable intellectual property and should be copy protected such that it is impossible to access it by any means. This is what I suggest: International laws will be passed making it necessary to publish your work through a licensed publishing company. Regardless of whether you're a single person writing a short story or an entire studio making an epic motion picture, your publisher will take your completed original, along with any and all copies, notes, materials, whatever, and publish them by throwing them into a blazing furnace. This innovative technology will prevent 100% of copyright violations and intellectual property thefts by making it physically impossible to make illegal copies of the valuable work.
Soon, the day will come when people will live about 300 years. Every time something breaks down in your body, they'll just push a button and grow you a new one. Cut off your arm in a bandsaw? No problem! A new one will be ready in 30 minutes. In fact, you won't even have to wait that long after something goes wrong. Every person will simply have spare parts in their garage refrigerator, kind of like keeping extra sparkplugs around. Just call the paramedics and they'll cruise on over and install your new organs on site. So, if all this becomes possible, why will you only live 300 years? Because eventually, your brain will start going haywire, and if they install a new one, it won't contain your data, so it would be like a newborn baby in a 300 year old body. Of course, they'll be working on that problem, but it'll be a while before they got it all figured out.
This is the most amazing thing since sliced bread! YAY SONY!
Now if only Microsoft will release a 100% GPL'd Linux distro for Xbox. Just for the principle. Oh well.Let me tell you something. You cannot measure the speed of light using Ping. What do you think Ping is, quantum physics hard at work? That's the most idiotic thing I've ever heard in my whole entire life. Because you know what? If you want to know the speed of light, just open a damn book. It's all there, black and white, clear as crystal. You stole phizzy lifting drink and floated up to the top of the tower which must now be washed and sterilized. And you need to remember the Boromir Principle, or whatever it's called, which says that the closer you try to measure some quantum physics stuff, the more messed up your measurements will be... or wait a minute... that's not what it says. It says that you can measure X or Y closely, but not both at the same time, and the accuracy of your measurement of X is inversely proportional to the accuracy of your measurement of Y. I just don't remember what the X and the Y were... What's that called, the Heisenberg thing? I don't know... it's been FOREVER since I've put a few good hours into reading all about physics, quantum mechanics, chemestry, superstring theory (or whatever they call it today), Calabi Chow spaces or whatever they're called, and who knows what else. :-) ...
Of course, if you can get the network to work exactly at the theoretical rate, you may actually be able to extrapolate the speed of light.However, that requires that I stop being an idiot and start writing some meaningful stuff in here. You see, what I've been doing in this stupid long and boring comment is just writing a bunch of crap to make it look at first glance as if I wrote a bunch of meaningful stuff, but really, it's just what I said it was a moment or two ago, no I think it was three moments ago, or was it four? You know what? I cannot tell because by the time I write a bunch more stuff, however many moments ago it was increased by a moment or two. Because you cannot stop the time, and that's really my point.
You see, time and the speed of light are really very closely intertwined! It works like this. Suppose that time is a dimension, kind of like our three dimensions of east/west, north/south, and up/down. So there's another dimension and it's past/future, and the present is almost nonexistant. The present is like the size of a tiny piece of an atom, if you could even measure it at all. What happens is this. Why is it that if you move an object at the speed of light, it like travels into the future or some bullshit like that? Actually, if you think about it for a while, speed is a measure of distance over time, or some garbage like that. What that really means is that, and by the way, the speed of light is the so-called alleged "cosmic speed limit" because THE SPEED OF LIGHT IS ACTUALLY THE SPEED OF TIME. Now if you go and read some books on the subject, there are really good explanations that I cannot reproduce here, for various reasons, and I will, for your convenient convenience, enumerate those items herein:
So I will conclude that my conclusion is that I have discovered that there is no way in the entire universe that it would somehow be possible to use PING to measure the speed of LIGHT.
Einstein didn't use ping.
NEGRA MODELO. BECAUSE GUINESS SUCKS.
And then I had a revelation. A picture in my head. A picture of this! This is what makes time travel possible. The fluxcapacitor. As you can see, we've had our eye on you for some time now Mr. Anderson. It seems that you've been living two lives. In one, you're Thomas A. Anderson, program writer for a respectable software company. You have a social security number, you pay your taxes, and you help your landlady carry out her garbage. The other life is lived in computers, where you go by the hacker alias Neo and are guilty of virtually every computer crime we have a law for. One of these lives has a future, and one of them does not. Now I'm going to be as forthcoming with you as I can, Mr. Anderson. You're here because we need your help. We know that you've been contacted by a certain individual, a man who calls himself Morpheus. Whatever you think you know about this gentleman is irrelevant, he is considered by some authorities to be the most dangerous man alive. My partners think I'm wasting my time with you, but I believe you wish to do the right thing. We're willing to wipre the slate clean, give you a fresh start, and all we're asking is your cooperation in bringing a known terrorist to justice. That sounds like a really good deal, but I think I got a better one. How 'bout I give you the finger, and you give me my phone call. Hmmm... Mr. Anderson. You disappoint me. You can't scare me with this gestapo shit. I know my rights. I want my phone call. Tell me, Mr. Anderson. What good is a phone call, if you're unable to speak? The Matrix is a system Neo. That system is our enemy. Or some bullshit like that. Oh well.
Of course, if you can get the network to work exactly at the theoretical rate, you may actually be able to extrapolate the speed of light.However, that requires that I stop being an idiot and start writing some meaningful stuff in here. You see, what I've been doing in this stupid long and boring comment is just writing a bunch of crap to make it look at first glance as if I wrote a bunch of meaningful stuff, but really, it's just what I said it was a moment or two ago, no I think it was three moments ago, or was it four? You know what? I cannot tell because by the time I write a bunch more stuff, however many moments ago it was increased by a moment or two. Because you cannot stop the time, and that's really my point.
You see, time and the speed of light are really very closely intertwined! It works like this. Suppose that time is a dimension, kind of like our three dimensions of east/west, north/south, and up/down. So there's another dimension and it's past/future, and the present is almost nonexistant. The present is like the size of a tiny piece of an atom, if you could even measure it at all. What happens is this. Why is it that if you move an object at the speed of light, it like travels into the future or some bullshit like that? Actually, if you think about it for a while, speed is a measure of distance over time, or some garbage like that. What that really means is that, and by the way, the speed of light is the so-called alleged "cosmic speed limit" because THE SPEED OF LIGHT IS ACTUALLY THE SPEED OF TIME. Now if you go and read some books on the subject, there are really good explanations that I cannot reproduce here, for various reasons, and I will, for your convenient convenience, enumerate those items herein:
So I will conclude that my conclusion is that I have discovered that there is no way in the entire universe that it would somehow be possible to use PING to measure the speed of LIGHT.
Einstein didn't use ping.
NEGRA MODELO. BECAUSE GUINESS SUCKS.
And then I had a revelation. A picture in my head. A picture of this! This is what makes time travel possible. The fluxcapacitor. As you can see, we've had our eye on you for some time now Mr. Anderson. It seems that you've been living two lives. In one, you're Thomas A. Anderson, program writer for a respectable software company. You have a social security number, you pay your taxes, and you help your landlady carry out her garbage. The other life is lived in computers, where you go by the hacker alias Neo and are guilty of virtually every computer crime we have a law for. One of these lives has a future, and one of them does not. Now I'm going to be as forthcoming with you as I can, Mr. Anderson. You're here because we need your help. We know that you've been contacted by a certain individual, a man who calls himself Morpheus. Whatever you think you know about this gentleman is irrelevant, he is considered by some authorities to be the most dangerous man alive. My partners think I'm wasting my time with you, but I believe you wish to do the right thing. We're willing to wipre the slate clean, give you a fresh start, and all we're asking is your cooperation in bringing a known terrorist to justice. That sounds like a really good deal, but I think I got a better one. How 'bout I give you the finger, and you give me my phone call. Hmmm... Mr. Anderson. You disappoint me. You can't scare me with this gestapo shit. I know my rights. I want my phone call. Tell me, Mr. Anderson. What good is a phone call, if you're unable to speak? The Matrix is a system Neo. That system is our enemy. Or some bullshit like that. Oh well.
Oh well.
I believe the judge should make Microsoft release the source code, internal documentation and all trade secrets to the public domain within a week. Furthermore, the judge should make Microsoft evenly split all their money and assets between all free and open source software projects in existance, even those projects started for the sole purpose of getting that free money, as the purpose isn't to help free software and open source projects, but to ruin Microsoft. Furthermore, the judge should rule that all shareholders, management, employees, family and friends of employees, and anybody else who is even remotely related to Microsoft must give all their personal assets to the aforementioned free software and open source projects. Furthermore, all those people must sell themselves as slaves and give that money to those projects as well. Finally, when all is said and done, there will be no more Microsoft, and the world will have no choice but to have a choice in the matter of what operating system and software they will use from now on.
Oh well.
Negra Modelo... because Guiness sucks.
I applaud NASA for making a $100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.00 and 5,000,000,000 ton satellite smash back into the surface of the Earth, kicking up trillions of megatons of dust, covering up the entire sky, and causing every living thing on all the Earth to die. The Bible calls this day Armeggadon, the end of all things.
...Ooooooooh well... Maybe I just need another beer.
NEGRA MODELO! BECAUSE GUINESS SUCKS!
Oh well.
Damn straight I don't. I used some of their GARBAGE in school once. It SUCKS so much. I'll never buy any of their trash. I'd rather just drink a beer (Negra Modelo, because Guiness sucks) and go back to sleep.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH WELL.
Until then, oh well.